A New Moon
by Kolibri
inspired by ‘A Sun Without a Moon’ by Mourning Zephyr
special thanks to TheOnlyGaz
“...during my time alone I had chance to see the monster I allowed myself to become. I dare say it was our...my, darkest moment, and I have resolved to be that monster no more. Instead, I shall be the Luna my sister saw. The sun in the night. A new moon.” - extract from entry 30 of Luna’s Diary
~ Celestia ~
“Thank you for coming so quickly, and on such short notice, your majesty.” The doctor said, his words mixing with the sound of brisk trotting of both medical and royal hooves.
“I asked you to see if Luna had sustained any injuries from her time in exile. I presume that you’ve found something.” Princess Celestia replied.
It had been eight days since Luna’s return, and in that time Celestia had developed concern for her reformed sister. Luna had returned to Equestria disturbingly cold and solemn. For three whole days she sat in the solitude of her room, rarely speaking a word. When asked, Luna assured her that she was fine, but it was apparent to Celestia that this wasn’t true. She spent all day in her room, and while that wasn’t outside of her previous behaviour, she would even spend the nights in doors as well. Luna never missed nights, never. Not once. It was after this that Celestia had assigned a group of doctors to perform this examination and determine her exact condition.
“Is she injured?” Celestia asked.
"Well, during the examination we did find multiple compound fractures sustained to her right hind leg that never healed properly. We also found third degree burns both internally and externally, some of which was magically induced. But frankly, that's not what concerns us.”
“Wait...that’s not what concerns you?”
Compound fractures? Third degree magical burns? The news caught Celestia a little off guard. She knew that injuries were a possibility, but these types she should have noticed. More concerning was that there was something that somehow made these injuries seem minor in comparison. The doctor breathed out a long and almost sorrowful sigh.
“Luna is suffering from some kind of psychological damage.”
“Some kind? Do you not know?”
“No. We cannot determine what is wrong exactly because she refuses to speak to any of the psychologists. All we know is that she has barely eaten, has yet to sleep, and often stands motionless for long periods of time. From this and the extensive damage to her body, we assume that the trauma has caused some kind of break in her psyche. We thought that maybe if we brought you here, she would open up to somepony.”
The doctor stopped and gave a grim look to Celestia, and words that sent a slight shiver down her spine. “I didn’t want to say this, as it may be a little premature, but…” The doctor hesitated. “We’ve also suspect that some of these injuries may have been...self-inflicted.”
Celestia froze as the words echoed through her head. No, no that couldn’t be. Luna would never do that to herself. Something must have happened to her, but what? She’s an alicorn! Few things could push any alicorn to these limits. But Luna wasn’t just any alicorn; She stood by Celestia in the battle against Sombra, defeating him single-hoofedly in combat; She aided Celestia in the downfall of Discord; She was previously the element bearer for generosity, honesty and magic. Luna had also seen as much, if not more than Celestia. However, this only made the question more difficult to answer. What could have possibly happened that could force Luna to such a state? Celestia thought hard but could find no answers, but she did know where she could find a pony who could. With a stern face and tone, Celestia turned to the doctor and ordered, “Take me to my sister, now.”
The two walked down hallways, up stairways, and round many corners to their destination. The castle was a trifle difficult to navigate for those who were new to it, and even on her ‘off’ days, caught Celestia running in circles. Soon enough though, they had turned onto the ‘Luna Hallway’, a long and empty hall, draped in brand new dark violet banners depicting her sister raising the moon.
The hallway ran dead straight, had no side passages, no windows, no murals, and no doors other than the one at the end. Luna’s room. Celestia couldn’t help but walk a little slower in this hall. For so very, very long it remained empty and bare, standing simply as a section of respect for her sister, and a reminder of what had happened. Now it was full, in use, and necessary. It made her more than a little uneasy.
She took a step, and her heart beat just that tiny bit faster.
It wasn’t like she was nervous to see her sister. She took another step, and again her heart beat faster.
I mean, why should I be nervous to see my sister? Celestia thought. She took a few more steps, making her way past the first set of drapes, hearing the dull thudding in her ears quicken.
Maybe she was scared? The thought made sense, she was afraid of what she might discover. She passed a deep blue vase, with the night sky displaying the constellations.
A new threat to Equestria perhaps? Anything that could do...that to Luna must be strong. Her heart jumped its pace, but this time out of memory of what the doctor had described to her. The second pair of drapes passed by, and before she knew it Celestia stood afore the Luna Arch; The doorway to the chambers of Princess Luna of Equestria.
The lonely door that stood at the end of the hall was huge, standing at about two times the height of Celestia, and about four times that of any regular pony. On either side of the door was a gold clad member of the royal guard, standing ever vigilant. However there was something wrong. Why were the royal guard here acting as bodyguards to Luna? Castle guard deployment is usually ran by her, yet she had no recollection of such posting. But more to the point, why were they specifically guarding Luna? Celestia had already re-established the night guard, Luna’s personal guard. She had also stripped any authority over the night guard from the royal guard, in accordance with the division of power, and laws of co-rulership. So where were her guards?
Suddenly it hit her. Luna had not been received with universal praise, and many in the guard, along with a few loyalist groups, still saw her as a threat to the realm, as the pony who made the days stand still; As Nightmare Moon. One of the commanders must have placed them here to keep her indoors, away from her power. Such a blatant disregard for her and Luna’s authority was a serious offense. But this was not something she could deal with now, she thought. Her sister came first, and Luna needed her now more than ever.
“I think it best if you go in alone.” the doctor said. She nodded agreeably as the doctor left Celestia to her appointment with Luna. She approached the door slowly, cautiously eyeing the two.
One of the guards stepped forward and asked “Do you require our assistance during your visit, your majesty?”
Celestia gave him a one look and responded with a strong and firm “no.”
The guard gave a short bow and replied “Well, should your highness require us we shall only be outsi-”
“Actually.” Celestia interrupted. “You may go to your commander, and inform him that he is to find and notify the night guard that their princess is unguarded.”
“But your majesty, we-”
Celestia raised her hoof and interrupted again. “And tell him that he is to do this himself. Is that understood?”
The royal guards looked at each other. “Yes, Princess Celestia.” and with that, the two left without another word. She had had enough of her commanders going behind her back, undermining her orders, her structure. It already made her difficult job a little harder. Celestia inhaled slowly, until air filled her lungs to the brim; and with one sharp blow, she exhaled the air along with her frustrations. When ready, she stepped forward and took a second attempt at approaching the door.
She lifted one hoof but couldn’t bring herself to push it open. She was hesitating, why? Celestia had had over a thousand years to come to grips with what she had done, to understand the full extent of her actions and come to terms with any guilt she had.
‘I guess it wasn’t long enough’ she whispered to herself. She looked to the intricate detailing of the oaken door that stood before her, noting the graining, but not knowing why. She took another deep breath, hardened her face, and gave a fierce push at the door. With a slow, stiff creak that reverberated through the room, the doors swung open, letting sunshine tear through the darkness that filled the room creating a ribbon of light through the dust riddled air. And beside the stream of light, in the exact center of the room, stood Luna.
The doors shut behind Celestia as she slowly entered, once again blanketing the room in darkness, but not before Celestia noticed that her breath was frosted, and that the room was unnaturally cold.
“Luna?” Celestia spoke softly into the dark.
The darkness was near absolute, and other than a few silhouettes of random items of no particular importance, Celestia could see nothing. Then, out of the black came a voice.
“Leave me be.” Luna’s voice demanded. Despite the words, Celestia couldn’t help but feel glad. This was the first time in a week that she had spoken to her, and it relieved Celestia to hear the sound of her voice once more. However she could not speak in darkness, so with a nod of her head, Celestia released a soft magical light that sat just at the tip of her horn.
The light illuminated a small portion of the room, revealing its contents. A large bed on the far side not unlike her own, a few bedside tables and cupboards, and a pile of opened books in the corner. The light would have easily been enough to show Luna’s face, if she had allow it. Luna had turned her head away from her, and seemed extremely tense, almost flinching.
Ignoring her sister’s demands, Celestia spoke once more. “Luna, would you please look at me?” She wanted nothing more than to see her sister now.
“I said leave me be.” Luna repeated in a firmer tone.
Celestia took a step forwards and tried again. “Luna I...” Celestia paused when she finally got what she asked for, but not what she wanted.
Luna turned round and faced her sister directly. The look she gave her was terrifying. It was not one of anger, nor horror, nor distress. It was one without recognition.
“Leave me be, sister. I have no wish to speak to you.” The word ‘sister’ carried daggers, and was almost spat out. Celestia didn’t know how to respond, she was about to leave before the faint glow of her light allowed her to see something more disturbing than the look Luna had given her. Luna's breath was unnatural, her stance broken, and mane static. To think that the infamous Nightmare Moon now stood so defeated.
Celestia couldn’t leave her like this. This was her sister, and she would not abandon her. But Luna refused to speak to her, how could she help? She needed to grab her attention, Celestia thought. Then she had an idea that might work. Celestia focused and the small light that sat silently at the point of her horn rapidly expanded. Suddenly, it popped, and liquid light splashed everywhere, washing the darkness from the walls, floor, and ceiling. Soon the room was lit from every angle, and Celestia looked to her sister to claim her attention. But something was wrong. Very, very wrong.
Luna was stepped back and forth, spinning this way and that, searching for something that she could not find. Her breath Celestia noticed, were no longer short awkward little breaths, but were now deep, fast, rapid, dangerous ones. Then suddenly, Luna’s entire right side simply cramped up and gave way, causing the princess of the night to fall heavily to the ground. With one motion Luna extended a dark blue wing, and used it as cover from...something.
“LUNA!” Celestia cried as she dashed to her fallen sibling. Laying beside her, holding her in a tight embrace as she wrapped one wing around her, Celestia could still hear her heavy breathing. But before long it became slower and slower, until it returned to its regular, awkwardly unnatural pace. Luna’s wing retracted, slowly revealing a pair of teary, greyish blue eyes peering up at her. Celestia would have smiled, but a sharp, painful blow thrusted into her chest. With that hit her focus shattered, causing her spell to backfire. Celestia’s light began to intensify to blinding levels, causing herself to become more than a little dazed. Out of the white she heard a cry. Luna’s cry. Then, with a crash, the light fell from the room.
Being blinded by her own spell, and surrounded by the thick, heavy darkness, Celestia had become engulfed, consumed by this shadow. Every millisecond felt like four; every second, six. Celestia did not know how long she spent simply standing there wondering what that was all about. It was strange. Did Luna...hit me? Celestia thought. Luna had never struck her before, and the concept was hard to fathom. Sure she had been hit by Nightmare Moon, but that was not Luna. Suddenly the pain jumped from her freshly bruised chest to her throat, all before she felt herself being pinned to the ground.
Pressure built and gathered upon the sun goddess’ throat as breathing became harder and harder to accomplish. A million questions began racing through Celestia’s mind; What had happened to you Luna? Is Nightmare Moon in control again? No, she’s long gone now. Then what? Why? WHY? The word repeated itself until it became devoid of meaning, while the questions began to fade as her lungs ran dry.
In the end, all Celestia could do was be astonished and terrified at how the broken mare she saw not seconds ago held her with such strength and wrath.
Suddenly, the pressure subsided and she was released. Celestia gasped for air, relishing in its sweet relief as Luna finally spoke. “Do not despair dear sister, you will not go through what I did.” With her lungs beginning to refill, the questions rang out once more in her mind. She was...speaking about her exile, right? She had to be, what else did she have to talk about? What did that have to do with what she had just done? Suddenly it dawned on Celestia, not the answer but the fact that Luna, just tried to kill her. No, not kill her. The hate was there no doubt, but it was not murderous intent. Then what? What did that have to prove? What was it that she went through? What was she trying to say to her?
As Luna slunk back down, a slight shudder wracking her legs as she moved, Celestia rolled over and prepared to stand up, but froze as her eyes drifted over her sister's injuries. Her right hind leg stood disfigured, bent slightly at the knee, and her left side was wrought with burn marks. The beautiful glossy black coat Celestia remembered was all but gone, replaced by a flakey surface of old scars. But how could this be? Celestia had wondered how she hadn’t noticed the injuries described to her by the doctor, but these were impossible to miss, even in dark. Luna and her had travelled back to Canterlot Castle together in broad daylight, she would have noticed burn marks this…disturbing. Unless, Celestia began to realise. Luna had ways of manipulating light for brief periods; spells from the once infamous ‘Nightshade’ that causes absolute darkness in an isolated area, to more subtle magic that can create colours and illusions.
It all made sense now, Celestia thought. If Luna did not want Celestia to see, a few spell would hide it from her for just long enough to make it to the castle and lock herself in her room for eight days.
Despite the severity of what she had hid from her, there was a small part of Celestia that smiled. ‘Still as childish as ever, i see. Glad you haven’t changed.’ that part seemed to say. However, Celestia still failed to understand how these injuries could have befallen her in such isolation. The only possible way that she could imagine was...no. Luna would never do that to herself.
A few moments went by, and worry began to build up fast before Celestia finally asked, “What happened to your leg?” Luna twitched, ever so slightly, but otherwise did not move. "The doctors told me that you sustained magical burns..." Celestia continued a little shakily. "Did... did you do this to yourself? As a…” the words seemed to catch in her throat, almost begging not to be asked. “...as a way out?"
Luna turned and faced her sister. With no effort to reduce the shock, she replied with a simple, and blunt “Yes.” Celestia’s legs almost gave out to the shock, forcing her to a kneel. Her chest felt like lead, and she struggled to breathe now more than when she was being strangled. Trying to speak, her mouth forming the necessary shapes, but no words came out. The image of a dead Luna laying before her overtook her mind. Tears formed and fell like rainfall from the face of princess Celestia, as Luna turned a level gaze towards her, as the broken mare regained her stance, power and and confidence seemingly re-emerging once more after a millenium of hibernation.