Swing When You're Vinyl

by River Road

Rating: everyone
Tags: Romance, Fancypants, Octavia, DJ P0N-3, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 6233

A cellist and a DJ walk into a bar. A karaoke bar.

A cellist and a DJ walk into a karaoke bar...

If that isn't the start of a joke, it sure sounds like one. And like any good joke, it will probably include a lot of eye rolling and several special love touches knocks on the head from Octavia.
What else can a pony do than sit back and try to enjoy the show.

Inspired by the album Sing When You're Swinging by Robbie Williams.

Cover image by Lustrous Dreams, used with permission (link in source)

Published 2015-01-21 21:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-10-15 21:26:34 UTC

Track 1: Have You Met Miss Scratch?

Fancypants watched the light shimmer through the last drops of his merlot as he slowly swirled it around in the glass. He quite enjoyed the evenings in the little bar named 'C Minor' (after the proprietor, not potentially underage patrons), at the outskirts of Canterlot. They had good, if simple wine and a friendly atmosphere. What was the best thing he had found about the bar, however, was that none of the upper-class ponies ever came here. Not that he tried to avoid them, but they could just be so… tiring, at times.

He took a last look around the bar, taking in the patrons. None of them were paying him any attention, be it because they were already used to his occasional visits, or because they were just too drunk to care. A few groups of young stallions and mares chatted and drank, a lone mare was sitting at the bar and drowning her thoughts in cider and the waitresses were carrying drinks and friendly smiles. The only notable difference from any other evening in a bar like this, was that the stage with the karaoke machine had been empty the whole evening.

One of the waitresses came to his table to take the couple of Bits he had laid out for his tab. He gave her a friendly smile, gesturing to the stage. “It’s not usually this quiet here… Is the karaoke machine broken?”

The waitress gave a small laugh. “Something like that, yes. We got a drawer stuck, the one where all the different music disks are in. Our new bartender is a nice and hard-working boy, but you can’t let him even get close to keys and locks.” She gestured over to the bar, where a green earth pony with a blonde mane and some sort of geometry cutie mark was grinning sheepishly, giving a small wave. The waitress waved back, then turned back to Fancypants and shrugged. “So the only songs we have right now are the ones on the disk that’s in the machine already. I’d say in one or two days we’ll get it unstuck and the singing is going to pick up again.”

Fancypants chuckled. “Well, I guess it was nice without the drunken Sapphire Shores wannabes.” Just as he stood up to leave, however, the drunken mare trotted up onto the stage, stumbling a little as she stepped up to the microphone. Fancypants watched her with an amused expression. “Oh, would you look at that… I suppose I brought that on myself.”

The grey mare stared down at the microphone for a moment, then turned to the karaoke machine to select a song. She picked up the mic and rose to her hind legs, standing on two hooves as the music began to play. Fancypants had expected her to fall over in less than five seconds, but the mare was surprisingly steady in her stance. The next surprise came when the mare opened her mouth, starting into the song with a clear and smooth voice, not the least bit slurred.

Have you met Miss Scratch
Someone said as she bumped my hoof
She was just “That DJ” to me

Then she said, “Tavi
“Tavi you’ve got to understand
“Music wants to be wild and free.”

And all at once I lost my beat
And all at once she drowned me deep
Under her bass that shakes the earth and sky

Now I met Miss Scratch
And we’ll keep on meeting till we die
Miss Scratch and I

The mare stood there, swaying slightly with the microphone in her hoof and drunkenly staring into the distance as the machine played through the bridge of the song. As soon as the song continued, though, she got back into it without missing a beat.

And all at once I lost my beat
And all at once she drowned me deep
Under her bass that shakes the earth and sky

Now I met Miss Scratch
And well keep on meeting till we die
Miss Scratch and I
Miss Scratch and I

Miss Scratch and I

The mare stood there for a few more seconds, panting lightly. She shook her head and looked around, then blushed and quickly trotted off the stage, throwing a few Bits on the counter before she left the bar in a hurry.

Fancypants watched her leave, a small smile on his face as he picked up his coat and prepared to go home for the evening as well. “Well, that certainly was… interesting. Maybe I should come here more often.”

Author's Note

Getting off my lazy butt to publish (and in some part write) this story is a birthday present to my awesome boyfriend, who prides himself on having read every worthwhile Vinyl/Tavi story on this site. The things I do ~~to prove him wrong~~ for love. :derpytongue2:

Track 2: Well, Did You Evah

Fancypants sipped at his wine, adjusting the hat on his head. It was a classy top hat that looked a little silly, which was the reason he didn’t wear it often just as much as it was the reason he had bought it in the first place. He mostly put it on to get a laugh out of his wife.

For some reason, though, he had felt compelled to wear it this evening. Fancypants usually listened to feelings like that, since he credited them for making him what he was today; not for the fact that he was rich and considered one of the most important ponies in town, but for the fact that he still knew what fun was, and that he didn’t have to look it up in a dictionary. A good feeling was the reason that he was now married to what some ponies might consider his soulmate, and a good feeling had led to him crossing ways with a prodigy designer from Ponyville and her delightfully chaotic friends.

Now a good feeling had him in the same bar he had visited one week ago, wearing a slightly silly, but very classy hat. And thinking about it, he only now noticed that he had taken a seat uncharacteristically close to the stage tonight.

A loud laugh and a slightly quieter groan drew his attention back to the two mares sitting a few tables away from him. Both were noticeably drunk, but not so loud that they would have bothered anypony… yet. Fancypants recognized both of them and he had watched them drink for the better part of an hour, going from 'slightly drunk' to 'really drunk', or 'falling off her chair and giggling like a loon' drunk, in the unicorn’s case.

“I’m telling you, Tavi, I’m no… I’m not ‘too drunk’.” The unicorn made a wide gesture with her hoof, causing her to sway dangerously far over the edge of her chair again before she caught herself.

“And I’m telling you to stop calling me ‘Tavi’.” The earth pony mare seemed to be blushing lightly, though it could just have been the alcohol or the lighting. “My name is Octavia. You don’t see me calling you ‘DJ Pon3’ either, Vinyl.”

“Exactly!” The white unicorn, whose name Fancypants had cleverly deducted to be ‘Vinyl’, leaned back with a smug grin. “You’re not callin’ me by my stage name, and I’m not callin’ you by your stage name. Not my fault you always go by your real name in those concerts of yours.” She stuck out her tongue. “So stop saying I shouldn’t call you Tavi, Tavi.”

Octavia groaned. “You’re drunk Vinyl. And if you’re not ‘too drunk’ then you are definitely ‘drunk enough’. As a responsible friend, I’m not letting you drink any more.” She pulled the half-empty mug of cider across the table away from Vinyl.

“Drunk? This is nothing! I’m totally sober, and I’m going to prove it!” Vinyl looked around for a moment before pointing at the stage. “There. I’m going to sing a song on that karaoke machine and I’m totally gonna blow it apart with my amazing not-drunk singing powers!” She stood up, swaying a little before she regained her balance.

“Vinyl, you don’t have to–“

“And you’re going to sing, too.” The unicorn pulled a surprised Octavia off her chair and dragged her along towards the stage. “We’re going to sing a duet and it’s going to be awesome and you’re going to admit that I’m not too drunk and, and, and I’m going to get a trophy and a medal and stuff for being the greatest karaoke singer in the history of karaoke bars.”

“Vinyl, I really don’t think–“

“Don’t worry, Tavi. You’ll get a medal, too. It’s a duet.”

Octavia rolled her eyes. “Well, in that case, how could I refuse.”

Vinyl just grinned and fumbled with the machine for a while until she had found the song, then took two microphones and held one out to her friend.

Octavia looked at the screen and raised an eyebrow. “That’s your song to prove you’re not drunk?”

Vinyl just grinned and leaned slightly against Octavia. “Trust me, I know what I’m doing. Now hush, the song is starting.”

Octavia sighed, but stopped when the music began to play. She took the microphone and took a small breath.

[Octavia:]
I have heard among this lair
You are called a forgotten mare

[Vinyl:]
Is that what they're sayin'?
Well, did you evah!
What a swell party this is!

[Octavia:]
And have you heard the story of
A colt, a filly, unrequited love?

[Vinyl:]
Sounds like pure soap opera

[Octavia:]
I may cry

[Vinyl:]
Tune in tomorrow

[Octavia:]
What a swell party this is
What tail, what mane

[Vinyl:]
So smooth

[Octavia:]
Their fur, the same

[Vinyl:]
They're beautiful

[Octavia:]
Why, I've never seen such gaiety

[Vinyl:]
Neither did I!

[Octavia:]
It's all just too, too risqué, really

[Vinyl:]
There’s Prench champagne

[Octavia:]
Domestic

[Vinyl:]
So good for the brain

Octavia turned her head to look at her friend and raised an eyebrow. ”Really, Vinyl… more alcohol?”

Vinyl just shrugged. ”You know you're a brilliant fellow?”

“And you’re drunk.”

[Vinyl:]
Drink up, chap.
And please don't eat that glass, my friend.

Have you heard ‘bout Berry Punch?
Got run down by an avalanche

[Octavia:]
You mean at the running off the leaves?

[Vinyl:]
Don't worry.
She's a game girl, you know.
Got up and finished fourth.

[Octavia:]
Are you improvising now?

[Vinyl:]
Havin' a nice time?
Make up some lines

[Octavia:]
Have you heard about Beauty Brass

[Vinyl:]
Oh, what now?

[Octavia:]
Started teaching a music class

[Vinyl:]
That’s all you can come up with?

[Octavia:]
I’m drunk!

[Vinyl:]
Well, did you evah?

[Octavia:]
Never!

[Octavia and Vinyl:]
What a swell party this is!

“I really like your bowtie…”

“You do?”

Vinyl smirked. “Yeah, it's a lovely bowtie. You think I can talk you out of it?”

Octavia gasped, blushing. “Vinyl!”

Vinyl laughed. “Just kidding.”

[Octavia:]
It's great

[Vinyl:]
Ah, it's great

[Octavia:]
It's grand

[Vinyl:]
So grand

[Octavia and Vinyl:]
It's wonderland!

[Vinyl:]
We sing

[Octavia:]
Oh, we sing

[Vinyl:]
So rare

[Octavia:]
So rare

[Octavia and Vinyl:]
Like old Camembert

“Are you ready, Tavi?”

“Ready for what, Vinyl?”

[Vinyl:]
I’m gonna prove that I’m not drunk.

Vinyl raised her microphone and suddenly began to dance, tiptoeing on her hooves and dancing around her friend.

[Vinyl:]
Have you heard?
Even Luna said
It’s no evening to stay in bed

Octavia hesitantly started to sing along, but Vinyl’s voice mostly drowned her out.

[Octavia and Vinyl:]
Well, did you evah?
What a swell party, a swell party, a swellegant, elegant party this is!

Vinyl ended with a pose, standing on her hind hooves. Then she suddenly dashed forward and magically grabbed the hat of a rather surprised Fancypants, putting it on as she moved into some kind of fast-paced amateur stepdance.

[Vinyl:]
I drink to your health

Octavia groaned and shook her head. "I do need a drink right now."

[Vinyl:]
For Egalité

[Octavia:]
You know Prench?

[Vinyl:]
For Liberté,
Fraternité

Vinyl stood up on her hindlegs again to salute, followed by a slightly confused Octavia. As soon as the earth pony was standing, Vinyl sidestepped, putting a hoof behind her and pulling the other mare over it. She caught her friend with both forelegs, holding her…

[Vinyl:]
Have you heard?
Even Luna said

…and immediately pushed her back up, causing Octavia to stumble forward a little on two legs.

It’s no evening to stay in bed

She grabbed Octavia’s hoof and pulled her back, twisting her around once and stopping the mare right in front of her. Octavia huffed and raised her own microphone for the finale.

[Octavia and Vinyl:]
Well, did you evah?
What a swell party,

Octavia swiftly moved next to Vinyl, both mares dropping on all four hooves.

swell party,

Vinyl grinned as she noticed the cellist stand up and salute again, completely synchronal with her.

swellegant, elegant party this is!

Both mares ended with a flourish, spreading their forelegs as they dragged out the last note. After a few seconds they both stopped and dropped down again, both of them grinning as they quickly trotted off the stage, accompanied by the applause of most of the bar’s patrons.

“See? I told you I would blow those ponies away with my singing.”

“You said that you were not drunk, and I still don’t believe that.”

“Oh come on, I’m fin–“ Crash. “Who put that chair in my way?!”

Fancypants chuckled and gave a respectful nod to the two leaving mares, then downed the last few drops of his wine and set a couple Bits on the table. Satisfied with the evening, he stood up and turned to make his way back home.

“…don’t have to go to another bar, I suppose.” Fancypants turned to the unicorn’s voice and noticed the two mares standing outside near the door, though they didn’t seem to pay attention to him. He simply walked past them and turned left, in the direction of his home. “I mean, I kicked some flank at karaoke and I got this awesome new hat, so I guess it was a pretty good–“

“Where did you get that hat anyway? You didn’t steal that from somepony, did you?”

The voices faded as Fancypants got further away from the bar. He hummed happily as he walked and had almost made it two blocks far when he heard the voice of the earth pony mare again.

“You did what?!?”

Author's Note

So here we are. Each chapter is of this story is centered around a song I have rewritten just for this. Some of them might be a little short, but I've never been good at dragging things out.

If you are wondering why I didn't just colorcode the two voices for the song... This way it makes it easier/possible for colorblind people to enjoy the song.
Improbable as it is, I've actually gotten that request once from a colorblind reader once.

On another note, while the story itself might be Completed, that doesn't mean more chapters won't be added, so make sure to give it a Favorite if you want to see those. I will say more about that at the end of the last chapter.

Track 3: My Shadow And Me

A new day, a new hat, same old bar, Fancypants thought, sipping his wine and watching the ponies around him. It was a slow Wednesday evening in the C Minor, not many ponies visiting the small bar aside from the regular patrons. It was just as well to him. The only thing bothering him just a little bit was the goal he had originally set out for. Apparently the two mares in question didn’t have some kind of weekly schedule for karaoke, as neither of them had shown up so far.

“Come on, Tavi, it’s tradition!”

“It is not, ‘tradition’. We’ve only been here once. We’ve met two weeks ago, we can’t have any traditions yet. And my name, is not, ‘Tavi’.”

“That’s tradition, too. You don’t wanna mess with traditions, Tavi.”

Fancypants smiled and turned around just in time to hear the grey mare give an exasperated groan, following her friend over to a table near the back. Vinyl slipped off her saddlebags and turned right around again to yell towards the pony behind the bar and signal two ciders. The young green stallion gave a short nod and Fancypants raised an eyebrow as a small blue parasprite poked its head/face/circular body out of the blonde mane for a second.

“Come on, let’s do some karaoke while we wait.” Vinyl had already began to prance towards the small stage, dragging her friend along.

Octavia’s eyes widened and she started to struggle. “What? Now wait a moment, Vinyl, I never said anything about singing. I’m a cellist, not a singer, for Celestia’s sake!”

“Tradition, Tavi, do I have to teach you everything? Yeesh…” Vinyl grinned and let go of her friend who, Fancypants noted with a smirk, followed her to the stage with just a light amount of grumbling.

“I know just the song for us. I’m sure I saw it somewhere in this list last time…” Vinyl had already jumped onto the stage, flipping through the available disks and reading through the song titles on each one.

“How you can remember just a single thing from that evening is beyond me…” Octavia muttered, slowly trotting up the steps. “Practice the next day was pure torture.”

“Oh hush. You just need to build up some resistance.” Vinyl gave a happy shout and pulled out one of the disks, expertly switching it for the one in the machine. “Got it! Hold on to your hat, Tavi, this one’s a doozy.”

“I’m not wearing a–“ Octavia trailed off and blinked as Vinyl summoned a familiar top hat onto her own head in a flash of magic. Another flash and pop and a second hat appeared to plop down over the cellist’s ears. Fancypants noticed a sudden breeze in the top part of his own mane.

“Vinyl…” Octavia gave her friend a dangerous glare, which went completely ignored by Vinyl as the unicorn shushed her, hoofed her a mic and started the song.

[Vinyl:] Why is it always Swing?
[Octavia:] It’s a swing album. You’re the one who picked it.
[Vinyl:] Ah well, I’m gonna beat you at any song.

[Octavia:] Like the wallpaper sticks to the wall
[Vinyl:] Like the seashore clings to the sea
[Octavia:] Like I'll never get rid of my shadow
[Vinyl:] You'll never get rid of me

[Both:] No matter how much we fight and fuss
[Both:] Whatever happens, we've got us

[Vinyl:] (Me and my shadow)
[Octavia:] We're closer than pages that stick in a book
[Octavia:] We're closer than ripples that flow in a brook
[Vinyl:] (Strolling down the avenue)
[Octavia:] Wherever you find her, you'll find me, just look
[Octavia:] Closer than an Apple to his farm or family

[Octavia:] Me and my shadow
[Vinyl:] We're closer than a pegasus to the sky and clouds
[Vinyl:] We're closer than Blueblood to his coming out
[Octavia:] (Closer than Vinyl to a slap on the snout)
[Vinyl:] Not a soul can bust this team in two
[Vinyl:] We stick together like glu- ow!

[Octavia:] And when it's sleeping time
[Vinyl:] That's when we rise
[Octavia:] We start to swing
[Vinyl:] Our clocks don't chime
[Octavia:] What a surprise
[Vinyl:] They ring-a-ding-ding!
[Vinyl:] Happy New Year!

[Octavia:] (Me and my shadow)
[Vinyl:] And now to repeat what I said at the start
[Vinyl:] They'll need a large crowbar to break us apart
[Both:] We're alone in grey and white

[Both:] Before we get finished, we'll make the town roar
[Both:] We'll hit a few late spots, and then a few more
[Both:] We'll wind at Neon’s and Donut Joe
[Vinyl:] Life is gonna be we-wow-whee!
[Octavia:] For my shadow and me!

[spoken]
[Vinyl:] Can we do that again?
[Octavia:] No, I'm too tired
[Vinyl:] C’mon Tavi
[Octavia:] No, I'm swung out
[Vinyl:] I'll give you some money
[Octavia:] I don't need money
[Vinyl:] What about a cup of tea
[Octavia:] I do like tea…
[Vinyl:] I won't tell anyone you've got a crush on m- ow!
[Octavia:] Just sing the song, Vinyl.

[Both:] Before we get finished, we'll make the town roar
[Both:] We'll hit all the late spots, and then a few more
[Both:] We'll wind up at Stringy's and maybe Groucho's
[Vinyl:] Life is gonna be we-wow-whee!
[Octavia:] For my shadow and me!

Fancypants stomped his hooves appreciatively, along with most of the other ponies in the bar. He chuckled at the white mare’s exaggerated bows and the grey mare’s embarrassed blush, then dropped a couple Bits on his table and gave his hats one last mock salute before he turned around to leave.

“Alright Vinyl, that was kind of fun. I am still angry at you, I am furious that you still haven’t given that hat back and I’m slightly irritated that you actually bought a second hat just for some silly practical joke on me, but it was fun, so…” The rest of the conversation was cut off as the door swung closed behind Fancypants.

He was almost a whole block away when he heard Octavia’s voice again.

“VINYYYYYYYL!”

Author's Note

Track 4: Ain't That A Kick In The Head

“You look exceedingly silly with that stick, moreso with every minute I look at you.”

Fancypants looked up at his wife, who was giving the neighborhood they were passing through a scrutinizing look. He knew that she wasn’t judging anypony for being of higher or lower class and income… She would, however, readily take a first impression and judge ponies by the state of their gardens.

He scrutinized her for a few seconds, then turned his nose up with a self-righteous huff that would have put most of the other nobles to shame. “I’ll have you know that this walking cane is an exquisite piece of craftsponyship, sterling silver and crafted specifically for myself.” He huffed. “And if it looks silly, then the only reason for that could be that it’s missing the hat to go with it.”

His wife, Celestia bless her, rolled her eyes. “Indeed, I am sure that you would achieve a proper amount of silliness if you had one of your ridiculous top hats.” She paused to raise an eyebrow. “Which raises the question of why you aren’t wearing one of your ridiculous top hats.”

“The clothes reflect the pony who wears them, not the other way ‘round, dear.” He smiled. “As for my hats, I already lent my best two specimen out to a pair of young mares I met a while ago.”

“Stop trying to look like some wise old sage. You’re not even in your thirties and everypony can tell you’re not wise or sage, either.” His wife, who had no reason to even entertain the notion somepony would feel compelled to cheat on her with anything except maybe a picture from one of her modelling sessions, turned her head slightly to glare at him. “Now will you tell me why it is so important we spend our evening at some bar almost out of Canterlot?”

“I can only tell you the same I have told you the last three times you asked: That it is a surprise and that you will simply have to wait to find out.” Fancypants smirked.

Fleur Des Lis, fashion model, upper crust and nobility of Canterlot and the highest beauty standard for ponies short of Celestia herself, stuck out her tongue and blew a raspberry.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey Tavi, up for another song?”

Fancypant’s ears twitched and he glanced over to the table at which two familiar mares had sat down earlier that evening, not too long after he and Fleur arrived at the bar themselves. They had been talking in hushed whispers for most of the evening (the grey mare had, at least. The unicorn had just grinned and nodded), though he hadn’t been able to make out what exactly it was they were talking about.

“No, I am not. I am thoroughly done with embarrassing myself today, thank you very much.”

“Fleur, dear?” He smiled as his wife turned her head to face him, her mane flowing slightly from the motion. “You were asking why I dragged you across half Canterlot, weren’t you?”

“Suit yourself. I was going to sing a solo, anyway.”

Vinyl teleported one of ‘her’ top hats onto her head and pranced towards the stage, passing their table and snatching up the walking cane which just so happened to be leaning at hoof-height against Fancypant’s chair. She snagged the microphone, switched out the disk in the machine without even looking at it and hit the start button.

Back at the table, Octavia’s eyes widened as she recognized the song. “Vinyl!”

How lucky can one mare be?
I kissed her and she kissed me
Like the griffon once said,
‘Ain't that a kick in the head?’
Her mane near completely black,
I hugged her and she hugged back
Like the donkey said, quote,
‘Ain't that a hole in the boat?’

My head keeps spinnin',
I go to sleep and keep grinnin'
If this is just the beginnin',
my life is gonna be bee-yoo-tee-ful

Like Cadence has love to spread,
it's just like the griffon said
Tell me quick, ain't love a kick in the head?

By now Octavia had stood up and made her way onto the stage, glaring at her friend as she advanced. “You’ll get an actual kick in the head for telling ponies about that if you don’t stop it.”

Vinyl lifted her cane and used it to boop the cellist on the nose.

Like the griffon once said,
‘Ain't that a kick in the head?’
Like the donkey said, quote,
‘Ain't that a hole in the boat?’

Vinyl put her cane back down and used it to balance herself as she playfully dodged Octavia’s swipes for the microphone.

My head keeps spinnin',
I go to sleep and keep grinnin'
If this is just the beginnin',
my life is gonna be bee-yoo-tee-ful

At the last line, Octavia had lunged for her, giving the unicorn the perfect opening to step aside, pull her through and spin her around a few times.

I’m telling you we'll be wed,
Let’s pick out a king-size bed
Now don’t you go tell me no,

Vinyl caught Octavia’s right hoof with her own right, then turned around to catch the left punch with her left and leaned back into the other mare.

Or I’ll be sad~

Tell me quick!

She let go of Octavia just in time to dodge a kick…

Oh, ain't love a kick?

…and step out of the way of the second kick.

Tell me quick
Ain't love a kick

Vinyl dodged another swipe and spun around to face the front stage and the bar, spreading her forelegs in a standing pose for the last line.

In the head~~~~?

She turned around, slightly out of breath, to see Octavia slowly clapping behind her. Grinning, she bent down deep for an exaggerated bow.

…which was the perfect time for Octavia to clock her over the head with a hoof.

“There’s your kick in the head. You earned it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Of all the stupid, brainless, idiotic, stupid–“

“You already said stupid.”

“–things that I told you not to do, this is…”

Fancypants and Fleur carefully stepped through the door, looking around. Spotting the two mares only a couple steps down the wall, they quickly crossed the street to stay unnoticed. The bickering duo didn’t seem to pay them much attention, if any at all. Fancypants gestured for her to stay quiet as they walked.

“And where did you get that walking cane? That’s real silver, Vinyl! Do you have any idea…”

“I… bought it?”

“It’s monogrammed, Vinyl! Your name does not start with ‘F.P.’!”

“Course it does. The F.P. stands for ‘Fantastic Pon3’.”

“Augh!”

As the voices finally began to fade from the distance, Fancypants smiled and moved to walk a little closer to Fleur. He loved to hear her laugh.

Author's Note

A cookie to anyone who can guess what the next chapter's song will be.
Ten cookies to the first one who can guess both remaining songs from the album correctly.
And I'll offer a free song (lyrics to use in your story or anywhere else) for the first one who can figure out which other song will feature in the final chapter.

Track 5: Something Stupid

“This was a terrible idea. They’re going to kick me out of the quartet. Oh Celestia, why did I ever think it was a good idea to listen to advice from Vinyl Scratch?!”

The unicorn in question rolled her eyes behind her shades, giving her friend a light slap over the head without missing a step. “Calm down, Tavi. Ponies are going to stare.”

“Calm down? Calm down?!” Octavia stopped, not-calming-down so far that she was almost hyperventilating. “I’m going to lose my job! Ponies are never going to trust me again! I’ll have to start busking on the street! Have you ever tried busking with a cello?!”

Vinyl rolled her eyes again, adjusting her shades with one hoof. “You skipped out of your practice session. Once. In who knows how many years. I’m sure classical music will not change that much before your next session in two days.”

“It’s not about that! These ponies trusted me, and I betrayed their trust. They are probably already tuning their instruments, wondering where I am.”

“Nah, don’t worry about that. I covered for ya.” Vinyl shot her a confident smirk.

Octavia’s eyes widened. “So now I’m unreliable and a liar?! I’ll never be able to show my face in Canterlot again! What did you tell them?!”

“Hello Octavia. Hey Vinyl.”

“Not now Harpo, I’m trying to–“ The cellist froze, her eyes slowly trailing over the small group of ponies standing in front of the little bar. “H-Harpo? Frederick? Beauty Brass? W-what are you all doing here?!”

“We figured since you weren’t able to attend today, we’d skip practice and go out for some drinks.” The unicorn stallion grinned, nudging her lightly. “So, I take it you’ve gotten over your feather flu?”

Octavia’s eyes narrowed, glancing at Vinyl. “The feather flu? Really?”

The DJ gave her a sheepish grin, rubbing her neck. “It’s, uhm… It’s a common illness.“

“For pegasi, Vinyl!” Octavia groaned and facehoofed, walking past the others into the bar. “I think I need a drink now.”

Vinyl kept up a slightly strained grin, waiting for the others to enter before moving herself. She leaned over to Harpo, hissing under her breath. “The feather flu? Really?”

“It’s a common illness.” Harpo grinned and winked, strutting past her and wiggling his flank in her face as he went.

~~~~~

“You seem a bit stressed, Tavi.” Beauty Brass chuckled, nudging Octavia lightly as they walked over to a table near the front.

“I skip practice for the first time in my life on the advice of a friend and run face-first into the very ponies I skipped on…” Octavia’s eye twitched a bit. “Who have somehow already picked up on the nickname said friend has for me. I don’t see how this situation can get any-”

“Cousin ‘tavia, is that you?!”

Octavia stopped, turning around to point a hoof accusingly at a light yellow earth pony mare wearing her trademark white stetson with a lime green shirt and red neckerchief. “Fiddlesticks. To you and the universe in general. Can’t you at least wait until I’m done tempting fate?”

“Awww, you know you love me, Cuz.” Fiddlesticks pulled her into the bone-crushing violation of personal space that a friendly hug consisted of on the Apple side of her family. She let go after just enough time for Octavia to turn a lovely shade of blue and pulled another mare over to them. “I’m actually here on a special request with my sister Pinkie Pie. Well, fourth cousin twice removed by a fifth cousin, but I’ve been told that’s exactly like a sister.”

“Hiyaaaa~” The very pink pony next to her waved enthusiastically.

“...we’ve met.” Octavia nodded, simply too far to muster any more of a reaction as she shook Pinkie’s hoof. “Is there anypony else here I should know of? My parents, maybe, or my old cello teacher?”

Pinkie grinned. “Nopity nope. I mean, there’s really just one pony here you should know of today. Speaking off, I need to give her the stuff she asked about.” She pulled a small flask and a large and weirdly shaped instrument case out of her mane - something Octavia had learned to ignore the first time they met - and bounced over to the stage where Vinyl was already waiting for them.

Octavia watched as Vinyl talked to Pinkie for a moment, then quickly downed the contents of the flask and took the instrument case while Pinkie bounced back over to their table. “Do I even want to know what that was all about?” Her brow furrowed as she saw Vinyl take the instrument from its case. “Wait a moment, is that…?”

“Yupperooni.” Pinkie nodded, sitting down and looking towards the stage and Vinyl, who was holding something that looked like two guitars merged at the sides. “That’s a bi-tar. They say there’s only about a hundred ponies who can play them and only maybe a dozen of those are crazy enough to bother trying. I’m one of the latter, but not necessarily the former.” She giggled and gestured to the bar, and a second later the lights around the bar dimmed, leaving only the stage in the spotlight and making any conversations quickly die down.

Vinyl sat down at the edge of the stage, taking her time to tune the instrument and give it a few testing strums before she looked up at her audience with a wry smile. “Hey everypony. This is a song for a special friend, and I hope she won’t be too mad.” Her voice was far off the usual raspy tomboy tone, instead sounding smooth and with depth.

Octavia let out a soft gasp. “Her voice, what…?”

Pinkie nodded somberly. “That in the flask was one of Granny Pie’s special recipes, Honeythroat. I guess the name says all.”

Octavia just nodded and watched as Vinyl began to strum one half of the guitar and pluck on the other.

You know I’ll stand in line
And wait until you find the time
To spend an evening with me
And if we go someplace to dance
I know that there's the chance
It’s just not meant to be

Then afterwards we drop into this quiet little place
To have a drink or two
And I just know I’ll spoil it all
By saying something stupid
Like I love you

I can see it in your eyes
You’re still in bowties playing nice
For all of Canterlot
And though it's just a song to you
I always knew
That I won’t get another shot

I looked through every song
I knew and I worked all night long
To give it all I had
I can’t just say one line
And then expect you to be mine
Because you’re more than that

The time is now
The music fills my head
The stars turn violet
And the night's so blue
And here I go and spoil it all
By saying something stupid
Like I love you
I love you...

Vinyl had her eyes closed towards the end, keeping them closed for a while after the music faded away. When she opened them Octavia was standing right in front of her with an angry expression. “Tavi…”

Octavia lightly cuffed her over the head with the back of her hoof, earning a wince and hurt expression from the unicorn as she flinched back. “That… was for dragging me here for some elaborate scheme.”

“Tavi-”

Octavia waited a few seconds until Vinyl made to speak again, then quickly leaned forward to give the mare a kiss on the lips, moving back just as quickly with a deep blush on her cheeks. “And that was for everything else.”

“Tavi-”

Vinyl was cut off again by another whack to the back of her head. “And that was for making me kiss you in public and in front of my friends. Augh, I just can’t believe you sometimes. At least this time you didn’t steal any hats.”

“Ah yes, I believe that is my cue then.”

Both mares looked up to see Fancy Pants standing behind them, looking down at them with a raised eyebrow.

Author's Note

https://youtu.be/4rOy1UsoU9E]

I have been meaning to finish this story all this time, but never got around to it. Today is my boyfriend and I's anniversary though, and since he's a big fan of ScratchTavia I figured picking this back up would be a nice gift.
I'm sorry to keep you all waiting so long. Not sure if I can finish the last chapter before the my finals, but I promise it'll be at the top of my list and I'll have it finished within the month.