"My tea is wrecked again?!"

by L Ovinoy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Adventure
Length: 525

Tea Wreck is one of Equestria's most prominent aristocrats. But what most ponies don't know is that the Wreck name comes with a curse...

The Wreck family has a curse. Tea Wreck, for example. He is one of Equestria's most prominent aristocrats, so he needs, and likes, his tea. But, whenever he did have tea, something happened to wreck it. This is the story of how he set out to break the curse and make sure he could actually have a nice, hot, cup of tea. Without interruption.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-23 20:27:13 UTC

Another Try

I stepped out the door and trotted over to the table. I sat down, silently praying that it wouldn't happen again. But, of course, it did. I lifted up the teapot with my magic and slowly tipped it, the amber liquid pouring out into the cup. And then, there was a resounding crash from somewhere or other. The cup rattled around on its saucer, then stopped. I sighed with relief. The cup shattered. Shards of porcelain flew everywhere, but thankfully none of them tore my recently cleaned cape. The tea flew through the air and landed right on my cape, staining the pure white fabric. It burned my behind as well. I leaped out of my chair, yelping like a pony whom has just seen the headless horse. My butler, Ophiuchus, was next to me in a moment.

"Oh dear, sir," he said. "I am afraid I must deliver this to the cleaner's immediately. I will help you inside." After helping me sit down on my sofa, he shimmered out the door with my cape. I sat there for a few more moments, silently seething with anger.

"Why me?" I asked nopony in particular. "Why me?!"

I talk to Shining Armor

The motorcar stopped in front of the main gate of Canterlot Castle. I exited the machine after instructing Ophiuchus to pick me up at the same place, and then trotted up to the guards. They gave me one look and nodded. After passing through the gates, I asked to see Shining Armor. A few minutes later, he was walking up to me, a puzzled look on his face. He stopped and removed his helmet.

"Wait, who are you again?" he asked.

"Merely the most successful tea merchant in the world," I replied. "Of course, I surmise that you do not drink tea. Putting that aside, I want you to go on a quest with me. That is, if you don't have any previously estab

The Races

The very next day Ophiuchus and I went to the races. I had, by that time, devised a plan to break the curse, and so I needed to ask a favor of one of my friends.

"Fancypants," I called. The stallion looked up. Then he whispered something to his wife and cantered over to me.

"Oh hello, Tea," he said cordially. "I didn't know you went to races."

"I don't," I answered flatly. For a few milliseconds after that he had the most priceless face, but to the naked eye he hadn't even wavered.

"Well, then what are you doing here?" he asked a bit guardedly. I allowed myself a small smile.

"I'd like to ask you a favor. I'm going on a trip, and I wanted to know if you'd be available to take care of my estate while I'm gone, as I'm taking Ophiuchus with me." The stallion brightened considerably at this, and agreed. Then, he trotted back to his seat and resumed watching. Once outside I stepped into my motorcar and told Ophiuchus to take me to Canterlot Castle, as I needed to talk to the Captain of the Guard.