It's Just a Joke, Right?

by DaylightMoon

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Adventure
Length: 1564

Twilight Sparkle, granted princess title along with wings, a new crown, and a whole new kingdom, decided to study Poison Joke when it begins to become a problem in Equestria. Little does she know what Poison Joke can actually do...

Recently, Twilight Sparkle, the student of the renowned Princess Celestia, has obtained more than a pair of wings and the ranking of a princess, she's also obtained curiosity. More of it, at the least. Twilight wants to take some time out of her royal duties to study one of the recent dangers that has effected Equestria greatly.

Poison Joke.

Apparently, according to some books and Zecora, "if poison joke is left uncured, it will cause quite a stir" was not what one would think.
Twilight begins to get nervous when the affected Rarity begins to make clothing that has a little surprise weaved into its threads, and how Fluttershy's animals are turning a little more colorful than you'd expect. She then decides to study this funny flower bit by bit. Making the cure would save Equestria from eternal humiliation! And possibly, the halt of her wings becoming superglue sticky when she bites into a cupcake.

However, Poison Joke has some…unnerving effects that poor Twilight unfortunatly finds out as the plant begins to play games with her magic. As more pranks cause Ponyville to be the laughing stock, Twilight begins to wonder if its really the other ponies that are doing this. What if it's somepony else..?
What if..it was her?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-11 02:09:57 UTC

The Laughing Stock

Twilight Sparkle.

Known for many things: defeating Nightmare Moon, defeating Discord, defeating Sombra, defeating Sunset Shimmer, and most recently, defeating Tirek. But the thing she is most known for is...

The Element of Magic. She held the element of Magic, the most powerful Element of Harmony in her soul. Not literally, of course, but she was chosen to bear it. Along with her five other friends, she fights evil to save Equestria as we know it.

And now she's a princess. The princess of friendship, to be exact, with a new kingdom and everything. That was really hard to get used to. Especially the part of getting used to her new home. Yep. Twilight practically lives in her castle now because Tirek burned down her library. Let's put emphasis on the her, because that was her home. She slept, read, ate, she did everything there, mostly. So watching one of the most important things of your life burning to a pile of ash was not something that, as Pinkie would say, make you "smile,smile,smile!". It took a while, but luckily Twilight got used to the crystal pillas of her beautiful castle.

Now, another problem has arisen to Twilight's attention. It isn't a good-turned evil sister of the alicorn who rose the sun who wants to make the night last forever, or a chaotic creature who originally just wanted to reign Equestria in eternal chaotic madness.

It isn't even a problem that can move or talk.

It's Poison Joke.

Yes, Poison Joke. A blue flower that just adores to play practical magic jokes on you that can only be cured with a magic brew stirred up by the only known zebra who lives in the Everfree Forest, which is full of creepy crawly monsters that either aren't as scary as they look or want to behead you on sight. It might seem like a pain to get, but nopony really would want the joker plant, as it just makes you look like a fool until you find Zecora.

So how could it be such a problem?

Well, there is a select few ponies, about a quarter or even more of the population in Equestria, that don't know about Zecora so they don't bother going to get cured. And, with further investigation, the ruler Celestia realized that if not taken care of, poison joke infected ponies can become quite the jokesters. Jokesters that, are making Ponyville and Cloudsdale the laughing stock of Equestria.

What makes it worse is that the jokester ponies aren't even sorry if they mentally hurt the pony. They are delirious and don't know what they're doing. They try to convince you to stand in the plant, that it's so fun! Then, you're one of them, and you don't have a clue what you're doing either.

So guess who got infected first?

Trixie, of course! Who else?

Ponies realized it when a handful of poniesi came out with rainbow coats and/or rainbow manes multiple times. They managed to cure her but a couple pegasi got infected before she awoke out of her delirious daze. She had no memory of what she did, but she was obviously the start of the poison-joke-pocalyspe, as Pinkie had dubbed it. Twilight was grateful Pinkie wasn't infected. How would you tell if Pinkie was infected?

Twilight had to get to the bottom of this. To be the savior of Equestria once again! She then remembered she wouldn't be anywhere without her friends and she clearly couldn't do this alone, so she arranged a friendship meeting at her castle.

Your faithful student,

Twilight Sparkle

As her wings closed and her horn's aura dropped, she felt the clatter of the feather pen hit her foreleg. "I sure hope Celestia will get this letter," she stated to no pony in particular, "otherwise she might not know my friends and I are on the case."

She trusted the words she said, but something rang in her mind, a call, a word, only one word: examine.

At that point she knew what to do.

Not Joking Around Anymore

Twilight felt unsure. Could she really fix this?

"Of course we can," she told herself, "wifh the magic of friendship!" Then a thought pierced her mind. If her element was magic, but she's the princess of friendship, then is her element and title the same exact thing or...wouldn't it be better to call her the princess of magic-

She stopped. This was getting silly. This isn't any problem to worry about. It isn't even a problem. Just a tiny thought that pierced the large beautiful bubble of her mind before dropping to the ground due to gravity in her body. Right?

Twilight was feeling particulary unnerved and lonely today. She canceled her friendship meeting because she had expirements to do with Poison Joke. She felt bad. Yet satisfied.

Zecora had helped Twilight out by supporting her ideas with Poison Joke in many forms: untouched, ground into sugar-sized bits, cooked (Zecora said that poison joke can be cooked in various ways as long as the poisonous crazy joke fluids are sucked out of it. Twilight decided not to eat it anyway.) into strips, bars, cookies, and cakes, and even hardened, liquified and preserved versions were provided! Twilight sent her thank-you with a big bundle of herbs and spices for Zecora's brews along with a sweet handwritten thank you card. Zecora also sent a note of advice, "Be careful Twilight, princess of magic, one mistake might make your plan tragic." Twilight wasn't exactly sure what it meant but she still jot it down in her notes just in case.

Twilight put on her latex gloves and glass goggles. Just to be sure she also put on a tight scientist jacket (covered in a special unicorn-made gloss that makes it strong and protected). Spike said she looked a little odd, but safety first, especially in a crisis.

Of course, Twilight wasn't going to touch the Poison Joke. She was going to levitate it with her magic.

Poison Joke-plant form

was written on the scroll in fancy calligraphy.

note one-plant flourishes in sun

The plant's blue petals seemed to flourish in sun's contact. It seemed to embrace the sun's hot rays falling on its plant body.  Twilight hypothosized that this is where it gets its energy to infect a pony, though she wasn't sure.

note two-joke fluids come from middle of plant

"Joke fluid" is a harmless poison that expels from a special pore hidden in the middle of the plant. With further dissection, Twilight saw that the fluid is contained in a sac in the stem's bottom that has a tiny set of four pores to send its fluid to the top. She then concluded that, poison joke fluids are released when pressure pushes the plant to its stem, pressure like the legs or hooves of a pony. The juices, which a pony's coat can not feel, coat the fur of the pony. They work their magic overnight. More investigation resulted in Twilight's discovery that the fluid is scentless, doesn't feel like anything, and colorless.

note three-joke fluid goes through the body using special passageways

It was a pain to find this fact. She had to reflect on the past when she first fell into the plant's trap, then use a Poison Joke-infected  volunteer or two for for x-rays, and even watch fluid for hours on end. It was a royal pain, but it was worth it. What Twilight discovered was once the joke fluid coats the fur of a pony, it enters the pony using specific passageways. For an earth pony, it used tiny pores in the bottom of the hooves, since earth ponies are strong, especially in their leg and hoof sections (according to Applejack). It uses pores in the wings for pegasi and pores in the horn for unicorns. It explained a lot, but there was still a lot to do.

She decided to stop dissecting for today. The castle library smelled of candle wax. Spike wouldn't be happy, but Twilight was. A piece of the puzzle was coming together at last!

Suddenly, her heart stopped for a moment. The colors of the world drained into black and white, and moved in slow motion. Her breath slowed and deeped and her eyes turned into pin pricks. "What's happening?!" she screamed, but no sound escaped. Her horn shot sparks and her wings were stuck to her coat. Her heart raced faster, and so did her breath. The smell of wax warped into multiple smells. Cake, helium, smoke, cupcakes, warm cookies....things that weren't actually there. She tried to scream. No sound came out yet again. The world fizzed and warped in drippy circles. Her hearing began to falter, but her eyesight was more keen than ever. It was like being forced to watch a horror movie unfold before your eyes. "SPIKE!" she tried to scream, but no sound. At this point who knew if it actually came out? She couldn't hear anything anymore. "Somepony please! Help me! I don't know what's happening! Everything is-"

Suddenly, colors bleeded back in. But the colors were wrong. Twilight was blue, the chandelier was pink, her mirrors were green....

Then everything warped into white, and her eyesight fell until she couldn't see.

It was like her mind was playing tricks on her.

That's when everything went black.

Tricks.