Chapter One: My Golden Light
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell, I know right now you don't care. But soon enough you're gonna think of me... and how I used to be.
Hey, if you are reading this... well you found my personal diary! Hey, don't say that's uncool! I mean... Daring Doo has a diary too! And she is cool! So therefore I am 20% cooler! Haha! But this diary has been doing me justice. Twilight was right in me keeping one. You see, it's been five months now and I been battling severe depression. I haven't felt the need to fly, to hangout with my friends, or do any type of activity ever! I was even called out on a competition and still had no desire to go through with it! And we all know I don't turn don't any type of competition! Twilight said writing my thoughts down in this notebook would help me realize what I needed in order to move past this. Its a pretty awesome notebook just like myself! It has a rainbow prism on the front of it! I miss doing Sonic Rainbooms! But... that of course I can't do anymore. Neither will the wonderbolts even look at me! The only one who has been by my side is Applejack... all the other ponies don't know what to say to me. They even stated they were scared of me! Friends... what are they anymore? Seems they turn their back on you so fast...
Just breathe Dash... breath. I took a deep breath in and left my cloud for what seemed like years. I let my wings stretch out as I glided my way to land. As I did, I looked around Ponyville to find that everyone was going about their business. Not even noticing that this was the first time they had all seen me in weeks. But, I guess that didn't matter. What did matter was my best friends. I looked to my left to see Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie Pie is probably inside working on some type of new cupcake invention. As I got up the strength to move my hooves forward, the sudden feeling of not wanting to be social overwhelmed me. Ugh, I have to do this. Do this for your friends or you're going to lose them! I pleaded to myself as I headed inside.
"Pinkie, dear. Are you alright? This isn't like you! You haven't been making anything at the bakery for weeks!" Mrs.Cake knocked against the door. Her husband, whose face was flushed full of worry chimed in behind her.
"Yeah, I'm starting to miss your happy cake accidents! And your songs!" There was no answer, just a solid door that led to Pinkie's room and a worried couple staring blankly at it. They turned to see me staring at them and their faces went white, as if they saw a ghost.
"Rainbow dash!" Mrs.Cake quivered as she saw me. Her eyes then lightened up as she heard the latch to Pinkie's door swing open.
"Dashie?" I heard a cry yelp as sad blue eyes showed from the shadows behind the door. When her eyes locked with mine she ran outside and right up into my face. The sight of her almost unnerved me, her hair was flat. It was missing her bouncy curls. Her eyes were the same blue but full of tears. She sobbed against me and left me in an awkward position to pat the back of her head. "I can't believe it's you! I missed you like CRAZY! Are you okay? Are you coming back to me?" I flinched, I never seen Pinkie this distraught but I manage to nod my head. I then began to stutter.
"D-d-d do you know w-w-where Ah-ah-apple Jack is?" Pinkie's eyes narrowed as she sat in place.
"You come back to me and you just start talking apple Apple Jack?" She huffed as her hair swayed in front of her face.
"What's up with you?" I managed to choke out. "You been acting like this for awhile."
"I just want time with you too... and you never let us tag along when you go to Sweet Apple Acres." She sighed, looking up at me with a pouty face.
"I just find it easier to talk to her, that's all. You guys treat me like I'm Gilda or something!"
"WHAT?!" She shrieked as I turned to head out the door.
"I promise. I will see you all later at the library, okay?" My head was full of Apple Jack and how I wished to see her. I trudged my way through the dirt until I saw the heart that swayed back and forth in the breeze. It made a creaking sound as I got closer to the farm. But as the farm got closer to my view, I saw a golden wind at the corner of my eye.
As I turned there was a grassy green hill that descended up to a beautiful apple tree that grew green apples. It was a rare sight because the apples mostly grew red apples. The tree was so out of the ordinary that Apple Jack called it her favorite tree and to no surprise was I at to find her there sitting underneath it. The golden wind I saw was Apple Jack's hair flowing forward as she sat looking up at the setting sun, chewing on a piece of hay. She turned to see me staring up at her and the first thing she did when she saw me wasn't yell, scream, cry, or run to throw her arms around me. But acted as she always did-- like my best friend.
"It's truly unnerving to see you walking on your hooves there Rainbow. I didn't think ya knew how ta' walk at all!" She managed to put a small smile on my face as I walked up to her and sat right down in the shade next to her. "How about some of mah cider?" She winked at me as she handed me the mug she was drinking from. I graciously accepted it and drank the cup dry.
"Sorry, AJ, It just been so long since I tasted that sweet cider.." She tipped her hat down.
"Don't fret it, Rainbow. Its a mighty nice compliment that ya like mah cider that much!" She gave me a smug smile as the sun started to slowly disappear from sight. She analyzed me and noticed that I was feeling down. I was, I wanted to be wearing that wonderbolt uniform and flying past her in the sky. Showing her all that I got. But that's when it struck me, why did I care so much? It didn't bother me when I thought about Pinkie Pie, Twilight, Rarity, or Fluttershy. It just bothered me when it came to Apple Jack. I always sought after Apple Jack, I always wanted her to be proud of me. To always smile at me not with just her lips but with her gorgeous green eyes. She was the one I first looked for after competitions, after I finally stepped hoof out of my house... but why? She's just a friend... but why am I in constant thought about her?
"Rainbow? You alright there sugarcube?" She waved her hoof in front of me as I nodded.
"I just got a lot on the ol' noggin."
"Well shoot there Rainbow. You only talk ta me and not ta any of the other girls ya know? They say whenever they even try to mutter a word to you, that you just ignore them or don't act like ya'self. If I didn't know them any better I'd think they'd be lyin'!" I scooted away from her a bit and sat up.
"I don't know AJ! I mean, every time I step out of my house all I look for is you! I find comfort and you! I don't seem to give a flying wonderbolt about the other---" I stopped myself cold, that was a horrible thing for me to say. "That's not what I meant. I do care about them, it's just you matter to me most." Then when I said that my eyes widened. Was that really it? My heart began to pound and my cheeks flushed. What sounded like came out of my mouth was a confession... was this it all along? Was I suppressing it? The fact that I had feelings for my best friend? Oh Celestia! I know AJ doesn't like me like that! What am I going to-- I looked over at her to find her green eyes wide. Her cheeks were flushed and as I was about to say something, she covered my mouth with her hoof.
"Yesterday I saw a sunrise, then I saw rabbit, then I saw a rainbow, today it was you." She smiled like crazy as I was trying to decipher what she was saying to me. What she trying to reciprocate what I had just told her? Before I knew it, her face came close to me and her lips pressed against mine. My fur stood straight up and my eyes could not have gone any larger. It was warm and passionate.
Suddenly, the bushes across the path from the hill we were sitting on began to rustle. I then saw a pink hurricane whisk away as Apple Jack broke the kiss. It should of alarmed me but I didn't care, I stared Apple Jack in the eyes and finally felt something that I haven't felt for a long time.... that empty abyss that I was trying to break out of....finally shattered right before my eyes and the world was full of colors once again.
But that was months ago, that depression. This is a whole new one on an entire different level. I now have nothing to feel anymore, not the air, the sky, nor the ground. Not the warmth of a hug, the smell of a new book, or the joy of the holidays. Everything is pitch black and I wish I could go back to the days where none of this went down...
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Twilight Sparkle gritted her teeth as she trotted her way up a rocky stone path.
"Yes, please..." A young colt whimpered, hiding his face with a hat.
"You know the dangers of this... Me and Princess Celestia locked her up in here with a protection seal for a reason." He nodded his head at her as she sighed, feeling remorse for the colt.
"Okay, but truly. This is the last time." Twilight used her magic to banish the seal that lead to an entrance of a dark shallow cave for just five minutes. "Every minute counts." She chimed as she used her horn for a source of light to guide him. In the back of the cave was a rusty cage frame. The colt ran over to it and grasped at the bars. His gasps of air, tears, and hiccuping made Twilight feel like she was the most evil person for locking her up in there. They began to whisper and speak to each other simultaneously. Twilight was counting the minutes in her head and his time was almost up.
"I'm sorry, but we have to get going I have to seal this back up again." The colt turned around and began to sob.
"I'm sorry.... Princess Twilight... I just can't!" He round house kicked her with the back of his legs and she landed on the ground, unable to move.
"No, please! Don't do this! I know your heart is in the right place, but please! She's dangerous!" He trotted over to her and brought his hoof up high in the air.
"I'm sorry.... I just can't leave her here to suffer anymore! You may have given up on her! But I haven't!" His hoof came clashing down and smacked Twilight out cold. He then went back over to the jail cell and smashed through the rusty locks. Thank goodness they were rusty, otherwise this would of proved more difficult. The mare came prancing out of the cell as she went ahead of him out of the cave. He turned to grab Twilight and dragged her out too.
As Twilight awoke, the seal was returned back onto the cave... and she saw that the cage was broken.
"No... no, no!" Tears streamed out of her eyes. "I didn't give up on her... I just didn't want to lose her!" She flew up into the sky and headed towards Canterlot. "I need to tell Princess Celestia at once!"
This is not where my story ends, but only begins. As I write here trapped in the midst of the darkness, I'm desperately searching for my golden light, the one that set the fire back to my burnt out wick... the one who always lifted me when I thought I couldn't continue.... Friends? Who needs friends... when all they do is just give up on you...
Chapter 1 [END].
