A Fool's Bargain

by coppertoe1215

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Sad, Tragedy, Discord, Human, Main 6
Length: 2556

Their is always an alternative to suicide, but it my not always be better.

A man sick of his day to day life attempts suicide, but Discord steps in and gives him a second option. He learns that Equestria is not what is seems...

Published 2014-06-24 20:20:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-03 15:04:38 UTC

Remember

I began to walk towards the village. I could see some of the residents happily walking through the streets. It was just after sundown and lights glowed from the windows of each house. On the horizon I could see Twilight’s castle, the giant crystal star twinkled in the moonlight.

“Whoa, hold on their skipper,” Discord’s voice rang in my ears, “You can’t just walk into town looking like THAT. You’re a draconequus now, you have the power to do whatever you want.”

I looked at my hands, then to the “Welcome to Ponyville” sign. I reached out my hand and clasped it shut. The sign crumpled like tin foil. I moved it around, exploring my new found power. The sound of a passing train caught my attention. Without hesitation I hurled the ball at the train, striking the engine. Before I even realized what I had done it was too late to stop it. The engine tipped and fell onto its side, followed the rest of the train cars. I wanted to feel bad, but all I felt was emptiness. I just turned and began walking towards the town.

“A much more direct and violent approach than I would have taken, but oh well, you’ll grow into enjoying the little things like I do.” And with that Discord was gone.

I took on the appearance of a unicorn, very generic. Brown mane, brown coat, barrel for a cutie make. I made my way towards the treehouse were Twilight used to live. I was hoping it was vacant so I would have somewhere to stay while I do whatever it is Discord has planned for me. Ponies passed by me on their way to the train crash. I knocked on the door of the treehouse. It wasn’t abandoned like I’d hoped. A lot of rustling came from inside be for the door swung open.

“Can I help you?” Twilight asked, silhouetted in the door frame. Seeing her an immense pain to shot through my head, worse than any migraine. I propped myself against the doorframe, nearly collapsed from the pain. The images of what she did to Spike flashed through my head.

“Are you alright?” Her voice was barely audible. Then, it just went away. I regained my balance and stood up.

“Yes, I’m fine.” I replied. My voice was droll, monotone. I avoided making eye contact with her.

“Okay then…” She said warily, “How can I help you?”

My previous episode gave me the perfect excuse,

“I’m looking for a book on healing magic. This is the library, correct?”

“Yes, but we’re packing up our books to move to the castle. You can browse what is left on the shelves if you’d like.”

Without saying anything I walked past her and into the library. The shelves were mostly bear next to a few scattered books. I used my magic to gather them and place them on the table in the middle of the room. I flipped through them, studying each’s cover. None of them were spell books, but one caught my eye, “Pre-Equestrian History.” I opened the book and began shuffling through the pages.

“So, what’s your name?” Twilight asked. I stopped in my tracks. My… name…

“I… don’t… remember…”

“Remember?” She asked. I gave a nod, still looking at the book.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Remember, I’m Prin…”

“Princess Twilight Sparkle, I know.” I cut her off. I levitated the book, “I’d like to borrow this book.”

“That’s fine, just make sure to return it.”

I walked out the door without another word. The town seemed to have settled down from the accident. Some royal guard had shown up and were shooing people away from the wreckage. I began to walk towards the Everfree Forest. There was a vacant castle I could stay in. I surveyed the ponies trotting away from the wreckage, name each as a looked at them. In my preoccupied state I didn’t notice the pony I walked straight into. My levitation spell broke and the booked dropped to the ground. As I looked up from book my eyes locked with the mares. It was Pinkie Pie. Another sharp pain shot through my head, worse than before. I collapsed to my knees. The images of what she had done haunted my mind’s eye. I could taste iron in my mouth. It hurt so badly. But, just like before, it subsided quickly. I coughed a couple times as I pushed myself to my hooves.

“Hi, I’m Pinkie. Are you new in town? What’s your name? Did you see the train wreck? That’s crazy huh?” She spoke a mile a minute. I just levitated the book by my side and began to walk away.

“My name is… Remember…”

As I walked Pinkie bounced next to me, asking me question after question. I gave simple replies, most of which were lies. Every time I felt bad I remembered what she did, the feelings dissipated quickly afterward. I felt a gust of wind brush my mane. Looking up, I saw Rainbow Dash hovering over me. I looked down at the ground as a dull pain raked my head.

“Hey Pinkie, who’s the dweeb?” Rainbow said, landing next to me. I just stared at the ground silently.

“Hey man, I’m just kidding.” She put her arm around my shoulders. Her fur was soft… so soft. I felt an immense rage build up inside me. I let out an unnatural roar to the heavens, a mix of a thousand unholy voices. A pulse of energy sent the two mare soaring and leveled two nearby buildings. I violently reverted to the form Discord had given me. Rainbow Dash turned around midair and charged at me. I caught her by the throat. She struggled to get out of my grip. It was… adorable, her having no escape but still trying. Heat flashed against my back. I turned to see the royal guard charging at me. One of the unicorns had cast a very ineffective fireball. I looked back at Rainbow Dash with a smile and then hurled her at the unicorn. They collided with a hard thud and several crack. My guess it was their bones. They laid motionless on the ground. There was only four guard left, unfazed by their comrade’s fate. I threw my hands towards the sky, creating two pillars of sharp rock that impaled two of the guard. I teleported a spear from one of the dead guards two me and used my magic to launch it at a living one. It went clear through his chest, dropping him instantly. The last one still charged, but I could sense his fear. I snapped my fingers. His head disappeared from his body and reappeared in my hand, still alive. I held him by his mane and watched as the life left his eyes. I casually tossed it over my shoulder.

“You’re… a big… Meany.”

I turned to the Pink pony. She was trying to push herself to her hooves, but collapsed. I charged at her, intending to finish what I started. A blinding flash of light stopped me. A bolt of lightning struck my chest, knocking me down. I instantly pulled myself back to me feet. Twilight was standing over Pinkie, using a force field spell to protect her. Tears streamed down her face.

“Why?” She asked simply. I looked around at the mayhem I caused… the chaos. I looked at my hand then back to Twilight and Pinkie.

“You’re a monster!” She screamed. Tears weld up in my eyes. I made a gun with my fingers and placed it to my temple.

“Please forgive me.” I let my thumb drop. I fell over with a hard thud. I saw Twilight run over to me as my vision faded, then darkness… only Darkness.

A Second Chance

I have no friends nor family. I am surrounded by idiots constantly. It was driving me crazy. I couldn’t take it anymore. I grabbed my gun and wrote the note.

“To life, Love, and the Pursuit of Happiness”

I stuffed the note in my pockets and sat on my bed, placing the gun to the side of my head. I had no emotion at the moment. No sadness, no fear, no loathing. I closed my eyes and squeezed the trigger, but nothing happened. A villainous laugh echoed through my dark room.

“Something the matter?” A voice beckoned. I looked around but there was no one. The voice had a sarcastic, humorous tone to it. It was familiar, almost inviting.

“I’m crazy, aren’t I?” I mused the voice.

“No, not yet.” It replied with a snicker. That voice… who is it?

“Still haven’t figured it out, have you? I’m the Disharmony in your life.”

“Disharmony…” I repeated. Then, it hit me, but I didn’t believe it, this couldn’t be real.

“Oh, it’s quite real.” The face behind the voice materialized, yet I still didn’t believe. I stared at the creature, amazed at his presence.

“Star struck? I know it’s not every day you meet a god.”

“What are you doing here, Discord?” I asked, regaining my composure.

“I saw what you were going to do and I wanted to offer you a second chance. Let me guess, you’re depressed because you’re love life sucks? No, no, no, it’s because you can’t make friends and you’re surrounded by imbecils, am I right?” He said, getting really close to my face. I nodded, not wanted to talk about it.

“Well, today is your lucky day, not only am I going to give you a second chance at making friends, but I’m going to let you do it in the land of friendship itself!”

I instantly perked up. I didn’t believe him, I didn’t even trust him. I had to ask,

“What’s the catch?”

“Only that you let me give you a little introduction to the land and give you a little makeover.”

What he had planned couldn’t be worse than here. Nothing can be worse than here. I agreed. Discord smiled and snapped his fingers, sending shivers down my spine. I felt something coil around my arm. Before I had a chance to react my arms were bound behind my back. I tried to scream, only to discover I no longer had a mouth. I began breathing heavily, not able to get enough air through my nose.

“Shhh, relax…” Discord said, putting a finger over where my mouth used to be, “Time to see what ponies are really like. We’ll save your favorite for last.”

A window appeared, showing Spike in a dim lit room. He had a collar and what looked to be mascara on. He looked like he’d been crying. A door swung open, flooding the room with light.

“You have another customer, Spike. He’s got five minute.” It was Twilights voice. The stallion stepped forward. All I could see was his hooves and his…. My eyes widened. What the fuck! This couldn’t be happening. I closed my eyes, but Discord forced them back open.

“You need to watch this, it was part of the agreement.” He said. He began to laugh sadistically as I watched Spike begin to… pleasure the stallion. I felt my stomach churn and vomit filled my mouth and sit there, having nowhere to go. Those five minutes felt like an eternity. The stallion finished on Spike face and Spike gladly thanked him for it. As the stallion left the room Spike burst into tears, quietly sobbing. The window faded to black.

“And we’re just getting started. How fun.” Discord said, whirling me around to another window.

Rainbow Dash was doing wing-ups in her cloud house, counting aloud. She was drenched in sweat and seemed to be struggling.

“Two hundred and forty-two… two hundred and forty-three…” She puffed. She collapsed after the last number.

“No, no, NO!” She screamed, “I need to do better!”

She trotted through the house to her room and rummaged through a drawer. She pulled out a syringe and uncapped it. She plunged the needle into her rump and let its content flow into her system. She replaced the needle and immediately started doing wing-ups again.

“It won’t show up on any kind of drug test.” Discord stated as the window faded. This window had the least profound impact of the lot, but still it hit hard.

Discord dragged me to another window.

This one had a beat up looking Applebloom. Her nose was bleeding and her eye was nearly swollen shut. Tears stained her yellow check. Merely this sight broke my heard and I nearly started crying, but what came next was much worst.

“Can’t you do anything right?!” A voice demanded. An orange hoof stuck Applebloom across the face, knocking her to the floor. The window turned and revealed Applejack as the assailant.

“Ah told yah not to touch the cart!” She shouted.

“A-ah’m sorry sis.” Applebloom got out between sobs. Applejack stuck her again. From the door in the background Scootaloo and Sweetbelle watched as their friend got abused. Blackness filled the window. I was in tears. Discord began to stroke my hair. It was strangely comforting.

“Were halfway there.” He sing-songed. On to the next window.

This one was of an alley, and by the muffled music I was guessing it was a bar or club. A stallion stood over a disheveled and drunken white mare. Rarity was leaning against the wall next to a dumpster. The stallion said something to her, but because of the music I couldn’t hear what. Rarity replied and the stallion seemed to become angry. He grabbed Rarity by the neck and dragged her into the alley. He then forced himself on her… several times. She screamed and cried, but no one heard her. The stallion left her there when he was done and walked away. Once again, darkness.

“Those stains don’t wash out.” Discord said with a laugh. I laughed too. Why did I laugh? What’s wrong with me?

Another window…

This one was straight and to the point. It was Pinkie and she with three stallions. She was just… taking it from them. Each their own hole. She was enjoying it. It was like someone was slowly inserting a knife into my heart. More tears weld up in my already sore eyes. I wish I had just pulled the trigger…

After the window went black Discord stepped out in from of me and looked me dead in the eyes. My expression was deadpan, it couldn’t be anything else.

“You’re ready.” He stated and snapped his fingers. An immense pain shot through my body. It was indescribable. My body broke and rebroke itself to change to what Discord wanted. I collapsed to the ground and blacked out, I don’t know for how long. I woke up and pushed myself to my new feet. Discord held a mirror up to me. I looked almost exactly like him, the only difference being I had retained my shaggy brown hair and didn’t have his goatee.

“I think we’re done here.” He said with a smile. I just looked at him, emotionless.

“Time to go to the land of Ponies and Sunshine.” He said, snapping his fingers one last time.

I stood in front of a wooden sign that read, “Welcome to Ponyville”