SplashyHorse

by Burlacious Soldier

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Comedy, Random, Tragedy
Length: 2672

She's just a bit splashy

SplashyHorse only wants one thing. She wants to splash.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-24 14:17:16 UTC

The Feud

Once upon a time, there was a magnificent creature known by the name SplashyHorse. True to its name, this horse was indeed quite splashy. If she could, she would splash all day, every day. In fact, she usually does. On the rare occasion that she is not splashing, she is likely spending time with her fiance, JHaller. Unfortunately, this tale is not all splashes and giggles. Neigh, the tale brought before you today is a tale filled with as much woe as it is filled with joy.

This fine little tale begins on a day just like any other, with SplashyHorse blissfully splashing without a care in the world. As SplashyHorse splashed, her soon to be husband, JHaller, was busy entertaining a bunch of strange men/women on the internet by playing games for them. SplashyHorse thought it strange that so many ‘Humans’ would waste their time watching someone else play a game, but she could care less as she had splashing to do. As fate would have it, however, this day would not be so peaceful. On this very day, Splashy’s good friend BookHorse decided to visit Splashy at her splashing pool.

“Hey Splashy! Still splashing I see.” BookHorse greeted cheerfully as she approached.

“Of course. What else?” Splashy replied with a grin.

“Hmm… Not much else, if I know you correctly.” BookHorse laid down next to the splashing pool, a mirthful gleam in her eyes, “Besides spending time with that ‘Human’ of yours.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Splashy replied sarcastically, her grin still present.

“Of course not. Hey, do you mind if I read here? CleaningDragon is still doing his chores so the library is too loud to get any reading done.” BookHorse pulled a book from the saddlebag on her back and held it aloft for Splashy to see.

“Go ahead. I wouldn’t mind the company.” Splashy continued to splash.

BookHorse nodded in gratitude and opened her book. Seeing her companion was thoroughly occupied by her book, Splashy returned to her blissful state of splashing. And for a while, all was calm. SplashyHorse continued to do her favorite thing, splashing, while BookHorse began her favorite thing, reading. This is the unfortunate occurrence that begins the sadness of our tale.

As it often likes to do, entropy reared its ugly head at a most unfortunate time. Splashy’s splashing, although magnificent, was rather chaotic. This uncontrolled splashing eventually led to the formation of currents in the water of the splashing pool. These currents then collided in a most unruly manner, causing a small wave to form on the top of the water. As luck would have it, this wave just so happened to be on a direct path towards an oblivious BookHorse. This probably would have been okay if it were not for two facts. The first fact being that BookHorse was still reading a book, which is generally an object that does not enjoy being attacked by water. The second fact was that this particular book was the last remaining copy of the book. Maybe had this not been so, the events that are about to unfold would not have happened. Sadly, it was so and the events did happen. And it all began with a little… splash.

Bookhorse’s ears flicked as they registered something amiss in BookHorse’s vicinity. When she finally heeded her instincts’ warning, it was too late. BookHorse looked up right as the tiny wave hit the shore of the pool, sending a thick spray of water all over BookHorse. The sudden attack by the water caused BookHorse to jump to her hooves but she quickly relaxed as she realized it was just water. It wasn’t until she was laying back down that she realized what the water had done besides attack her.

“Oh no! My book!” BookHorse exclaimed with a gasp, “Ohhh no. No no no. This can’t be happening. This was the last copy in existence! Th- Splashy!!!”

“Hmm?” Splashy’s briefly stopped splashing, “What’s wrong, BookHorse? Did something happen?”

“I don’t know. You tell me!” BookHorse replied angrily, displaying the now drenched book to Splashy.

“Oh my… Your book got all wet. Did ya drop it in the pool or something?” Splashy asked, concern in her eyes.

“You think I would be so clumsy?! Are you serious?” BookHorse’s voice cracked.

“Well, what happened then?” Splashy asked once more, her concern still apparent.

“Your stupid splashing! That’s what happened!” BookHorse brought the dripping book to her chest, briefly becoming quiet, “It was the very last one of its kind…”

“Well, hey. It was your idea to read here in the first place. Look, I’m sorry-” Splashy began.

“Sorry?! Sorry isn’t going to bring the book back! You and your…. RRRGHGH!!! I’m going to go see if I can salvage anything before it’s all destroyed.” BookHorse quickly stood and began galloping towards town.

SplashyHorse watched her friend go, her mouth still open from her interrupted sentence. She closed her mouth and knit her eyebrows together in an irritated look. She didn’t understand how it was her fault that BookHorse had been reading next to the SPLASHING pool and her book had gotten wet. Surely that was her fault… right?

SplashyHorse tried to shrug the event off as one of her friend’s ‘episodes’ and continue splashing but BookHorse’s words kept bothering her. Eventually Splashy pulled herself out of the splashing pool and shook herself dry. She seriously doubted she would get over this by herself, so who better to help her with her emotions than her significant other, JHaller. Now that she was dry, Splashy turned away from the splashing pool and began to head home to her fiance so she could tell him about her argument with her friend.

Reconciliation

SplashyHorse was back in her splashing pool, splashing as blissfully as she had been earlier that day. With more grace than a swan, she gesticulated wildly in the water, causing a great but beautiful ripple that reverberated around the pool rhythmically. Were someone observing Splashy, they would easily see how magnificent and divine her splashing was and they would ask to join her. In fact, that’s almost exactly what was about to happen.

“Hey, Splashy…”

Splashy slowed her splashing slightly and gave her attention to the voice calling her. Approaching the pool exactly as she had that morning was BookHorse, though Splashy noticed her expression was full of embarrassment. Splashy waited for BookHorse to reach the edge of the pool before responding.

“Hey, BookHorse. Is your book alright?” Splashy asked calmly.

“It’s… It’s a little complicated. The book was ruined, but… it wasn’t the last copy. Princess MoonButt sent it to me with a note saying ‘Important: Last Edition’. I thought it meant the last of it’s kind, but she meant the last version that was published… Turns out there’s several copies in the Canterlot library… I’m sorry, Splashy. I blew up at you for something that was my fault and overreacted. Again… I hope you can forgive me.” BookHorse lowered her head.

“Hmmm.” SplashyHorse hummed slowly, “Well, I suppose… I’m just teasing. Of course I forgive you. We’re friends, remember?”

“Thank you, Splashy. I’m so relieved.” BookHorse’s expression brightened considerably.

“Hehe, that’s good. So, I already forgive you but I think you owe me one thing.” Splashy gave BookHorse a teasing look.

“What do I owe you?” BookHorse’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Oh, not much. It’s just I remember somepony calling my splashing ‘stupid’, so you have to come splash with me. Don’t judge something until you try it.” Splashy grinned mischievously.

“Oh, I don’t think-” BookHorse rubbed the back of her neck with a hoof.

“Come on. You called my splashing stupid. Don’t tell me you won’t make it up to me.” Splashy gave BookHorse a fake pout.

BookHorse sighed. “Fine.”

BookHorse gazed tentatively at the water. After a while, she gently prodded it with a hoof. Finally, after taking a breath and screwing her eyes shut, BookHorse leapt into the water with SplashyHorse. BookHorse sputtered a bit as she surfaced and looked at Splashy. Splashy simply looked back and continued splashing. After a long and awkward pause, BookHorse finally drew back a hoof and slapped at the water with it. She paused for a moment before repeating the process. Then she repeated it again. And again. And again. A few more repeats and suddenly Splashy and BookHorse were both splashing at equal rates. A slow smile spread across BookHorse’s face as she realized how amazing splashing really was.

“Wow! This is fantastic!” BookHorse splashed happily.

“I’m glad you think so. You know, if you want, you can come splash with me any time you want. I’m here pretty much all the time.” Splashy offered.

“Really? That’d be wonderful! Who knew something so simplistic could be so… amazing. Thanks for showing me this, Splashy.” BookHorse said gratefully.

“No problem. I’d recommend stopping for now though. Splashing is addictive. Any more and you’ll be here all night. Come by and the morning and we can splash again.”

BookHorse nodded and stopped splashing, though her face betrayed the urge to splash. Fortunately, BookHorse seemed to resist the urge and got out of the splashing pool. BookHorse started to walk away but stopped for a moment and turned back to Splashy.

“Thanks again, Splashy. For forgiving me, I mean.”

“It’s no problem. Really. I even got a splashing buddy out of it.” Splashy gave BookHorse a reassuring look.

“Yea. Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks for letting me try your hobby. It was a real.. splash.” BookHorse said with a snicker.

Splashy stared at BookHorse with a dead expression. BookHorse gazed back briefly before breaking eye contact and blushing.

“Right, bad joke. Sorry. I’ll just be going.”

And BookHorse left, leaving Splashy to her splashing. And as was told, this tale was filled with joy. It had some woe too, but most of the woe was BookHorse’s bad pun. From those days onward, splashing remained a peaceful event. Splashy no longer had drama (at least any caused by splashing) and she remained happily engaged to JHaller, to be married at a date currently undetermined. And they lived splashily ever after.

Emotional Support

Splashy pushed open the door to her house and walked inside. Once inside, she closed the door and walked to the ‘computer’ room where her fiance was usually located. As she entered the room, though, she noticed it was empty. Splashy’s ears drooped in disappointment. She knew that when her fiance wasn’t at home in the computer room, he was usually off at some weird ritual known as a ‘convention’. Splashy sighed and walked out of the computer room, deciding that a snack would ease her stress a bit. Splashy entered the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. After removing a crisp apple from it, she closed the refrigerator, walked over to the sink, and began to absent-mindedly much on the apple as she splashed a hoof in the sink.

“Hey, Splashy. What’s up?”

Splashy jumped and dropped her apple. Splashy turned to face the mysterious voice and saw her friend SpeedHorse standing in the doorway. SpeedHorse crossed the kitchen and put a supportive hoof on Splashy’s shoulder.

“Hope you don’t mind. I let myself in. You feeling alright? You looked kinda upset.” SpeedHorse gave Splashy a worried look.

“Y-yea. I’m fine. Just had a little argument with BookHorse, that’s all. What are you doing here, though? You don’t visit often.” SplashyHorse said.

“Oh, I had some time off from the Quickstreaks. Thought I’d drop by and say hi to my friends. So what’d you say about an argument?” SpeedHorse ruffled her wings and sat down on the kitchen floor.

“Well, BookHorse visited me at my splashing pool and brought a book so she could read there. Some water got on her book and she blamed me for it, but I don’t think it’s my fault. She’s the one who brought a book to a splashing pool!” Splashy huffed angrily.

“Yea, that does sound like her fault. You know how BookHorse is, though. She always overreacts. Give her a bit of time and she’ll realize her mistake. Hey, I know what’ll cheer you up.” SpeedHorse nudged Splashy playfully, “How about a race? We can have CrazyHorse ref, since we’re both competitive.”

“Hey, you know PartyHorse doesn’t like being called that… But yea. A race sounds fun. The usual course?” Splashy asked with a smile.

“You know it. I’ll go get CrazyHorse. I’ll meet you at the starting line in ten.” SpeedHorse nodded then quickly took off and left the room, zooming out of the house at an insane speed.

Splashy sat a moment longer in the kitchen, contemplating SpeedHorse’s words. Splashy smiled. She’d forgotten that BookHorse was the type to fly off the handle for the smallest things. Chances were that everything would be smoothed out by the end of the day. Brightened by this thought, Splashy left her house in a positive mood and headed towards the usual starting line.

Significant Other

“I will fly to Sweden- I will fly all the way to Sweden, Karl, and I will cut your god damn eyes out.”

Splashy’s ears perked at the sound of her husband, likely talking with one of his human friends. Splashy had just finished her race with SpeedHorse, which had been a tie, and decided to return home for a quick rest before going back to the splashing pool. However with her fiance home, she figured she might as well vent to him a little.

Splashy nudged open the front door and made her way to the computer room. Sitting in front of the computer was her fiance, JHaller. He seemed to be playing one of his games, as was usual, and responding to endless waves of text that kept popping up in a little box on the computer. Splashy watched in wonder at the strange display for several moments before remembering why she had come into the computer room. Splashy coughed gently, causing JHaller to jump and turn his head towards her.

“Shit, uh… Something came up, stream. I’ll be back in a few.” JHaller said before making a couple clicks and spinning his chair around to face Splashy directly. “Something up? I thought you’d be, y’know, splashing right about now.”

“I… uh… I got in a fight with BookHorse.” Splashy explained, “Everything should be fine, but I came home to hang out with you cause that always cheers me up.”

“...So you and… what made you fight?” JHaller asked.

“Oh, I splashed one of her books and-” Splashy started.

“Ooh, hold that thought.” JHaller pulled out his phone and quickly tapped away at it before putting it away again, “Sorry, had to tweet at Nash. This situation is too golden. I’m sorry, please continue.”

“So… anyway, she got mad that her book got wet, but technically it’s her fault for bringing the book to the splashing pool. Don’t you think?”

“Yea, definitely her fault. Who the hell reads next to a pool of water? That’s kind of dumb.” JHaller said with sarcasm.

Splashy giggled, “Yeah, it’s pretty silly. For being such a smart pony, she does some stupid stuff sometimes, huh?”

“Yea, she’s the ‘adorkable’ type. You’re better though, of course.” JHaller winked.

Splashy blushed, “I-i’ll let you get back to your fans. I’m gonna go back to the splashing pool.”

“You sure?” Splashy nodded, “Alright then. Have fun splashing. I’ll probably be here if you need me. Likely drunk.”

“But not that drunk.” Splashy returned with a smile, remembering one of his favorite phrases, “See you later then.”

JHaller gave Splashy a little wave of goodbye and turned back to the computer. Splashy left the room and exited the house, a little spring in her step. As always, spending time with her fiance left her cheerful. Splashy was so cheerful, in fact, that she would probably splash twice as much as usual when she got back to her splashing pool.