Embracing the Sun

If god was merciful right now, he would be showing me some mercy from having a pony on top of me. And by on top of me I mean that she is literally on my body with her hooves pressed against my palms while the guards are outside of the door, listening to our little argument.

It hasn't been a whole ten minutes and I was already against my will. Celestia was holding me down, practically grinding against me because of how much I was struggling to free myself. I was pissed and ready to give a good ass kicking to the brat known as Blueblood, but Ms. Sunny Butt decided to levitate me back into the bedroom and seal it up with her magic so that we can have a nice conversation about me being here.

Nice, pfft, yeah right...

"Just one kick!" I begged to the stern alicorn, throwing a lip quiver as she lightened up on pressing her hooves against my palms.

The anger in her is something I have seen for the first time in my life. She held her decision as strongly she held me to this bed with her body. Her eyes donned that same beauty of ruby as we glared at one another with opposite intentions, but the mirth she usually carries did not show in her orbs.

It was like she was desperate to stop me from making a mistake I cannot see through my ignorance. And even so I was still wanting to break free so that I could teach Blue Bitch the meaning of manners.

"I said no and I meant it." she rebuked, voice deep and authoritative. "Besides, you're well-being is already in jeopardy because you foolishly made yourself present to two of my guards."

I stopped and stared in wonder of her. I...I didn't know what to say when that part passed so darkly through her muzzle. I had this incredulous look on me when the fighting and arguing ended, in turn became a heated lashing with said mare giving a reality check about her world.

I just wished that she said it much more calmly than venomously right now.

"What are you-"

"Did you really think coming to my world, my home, would be so simple with you having rights to be here!?" she yelled. I was too caught up in my thinking to flinch at her. "No, you have no right to be in my world, no citizenship, and that risks my position with the other rulers of Equus."

I wanted to retort and lash at her for that. If anything remotely to my control, the need to back myself up with my own set of hurtful words lasted for the remainder of her statement.

And as tempting as it was to act on my according, I had to realize that this is not like the fanfictions people write about on a daily basis. I'm not in a story that is rainbows and butterflies, along with ponies being friendly and accepting in an instant.

I'm in the real deal, I'm in the reality of things.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I snarked, only to be put in my place.

"You're not a citizen of any country in Equus, you're a foreign creature that does not exist. You have no citizenship, no right to be here, and just having you here risks everything about me."

"So I'm an alien, an illegal immigrant." I said quietly...wondering if whether or not I was in actual danger with said mare keeping me here. She moved from being on top me, but kept me pinned. "And I just need to go back home?"

Evidently I just put myself in the wrong position of this conversation. Her eyes no longer donned that beauty I was talking about, but with that frightening possession I have witnessed over the last few days of us being together.

The obsession, the desperation, the determination to keep others away from me, I was staring into her eyes and seeing all of that play out as a blind fury that curled with the pursing of her lips. Not that it was bad or a terrible sign to a darker fate, it was just fucking terrifying to see this a second time.

The first was when she made that pedophile disappear.

"No!" she snapped, voice drowned with power and neediness. "I will not do such a thing, nor could I when you belong to Equus now!"

That last part of her sentence, that one bit of her talking put me on edge with trepidation as she glared at me. Unfortunately her glare shifted to a soft scrunching with the tears. Her eyes were not just sparkling but pouring while the strength in her left my palms, allowing me to sit up and feel...bewildered.

Celestia was not being the usual mare I know. Her calm and collected attitude, or the darkened one with possession, was nowhere to be seen or felt with this weird link we have. She wasn't acting like a monarch, she was no different from a child dropping their ice cream onto a dirty sidewalk.

Sobbing, crying, weeping, it was all she did as I sat in front of her with not a damn clue as to why she was so frazzled.

And yet I felt compelled to figuring out this crazy change in her...by touching her.

"Celestia?" I cooed. Her eyes moved to mine, shocking me with she appeared to be nonplussed over this. "What's wrong with you? Why are you acting so desperate?"

She looked away from me, falling onto her hooves for a short approach to the curtained window. Her tears still fell with the sniveling that glowed in the crevice of her light, shining akin to the magnificent light while I left the bed.

It had me worried, almost scared for the mare. The Celestia that I read in fanfiction was not tyrannical, or Molestia, or this kind and forgiving Celestia that acts so maternal to every living creature around her. The goddess before me was hurting, engrossed with whatever is on her mind, and most of all she was...terror-stricken.

But why?

"Tia?" I beckoned for her attention, sliding my hand across her back until it met the back of her neck.

She turned to me, a whimper left her quivering lip as the sorrow in her orbs glinted her muzzle. A soft wing unfolded from her left and wrapped around me with tenderness and the need to never let me go. My balance was lost by how fast she pulled me to her, only to be regained with the surprising leverage of her muzzle retreating into my neck.

Her words, her...actions....they...

"I can't." she blubbered, unaware of her horn grazing my earlobe. "I can't do this alone anymore, I...I can't stand it anymore."

"What?" I soothed. My arms around her, causing the hysterical princess to melt into my hold with her emotions.

"Being alone, a ruler, a monarch, I-I can't do it anymore, I-I need you to be with me. You are my mate and I need you to stand next to me through this...because...because I can't do it alone anymore."

I was starting to see part of the picture, maybe a little more on how the princess is in real life than from the stories in fiction. A little disbelieving to see that Celestia was upset like this, I mean it is not like her to be so...opposite of what is written.

She really does have a personality to her, a character that no one sees. Her crown may be part of her, but underneath it this delicate flower that pretends to be a rose for her subjects.

In other words, Celestia is actually...scared.

"But you're not alone, you have your sister and-"

"But she has someone to love, someone that is next to her during the night. Luna has her stallion while I have the problem of you being taken away from me for what you are."

"For what I am?" I chuckled questioningly. "So me being human is a bad thing to you."

"No it is not. However I am at a standstill with you being a trespasser of this country. Joshua, you have no citizenship in any country of Equus, you are something that no one has ever seen and it frightens me with the idea of what the other ruling bodies will do to you."

"What could they possibly do to me?" I asked sarcastically.

Said mare glared at me; not out of spite or displeasure of how I talked to her, but of how ignorant I was of the situation. By now I should have known that this is not some story where the main character gets a happy ending with the girl of his dreams. I am in the real thing with the real princess worrying about me, concerning herself with risks that I fail to see.

They are not invisible to me, it is just my ignorance and arrogance blinding me from what it all.

"You wish to know?" she whispered angrily, venomously...dangerously. Her teeth clenched, and the hold on her wing was gone with how fast she turned away from me. Now I was scared for myself, as she stood away and scowled. "Okay Joshua, to put it simply I would be forced to arrest and lock you up for a trial with the other ruling bodies of Equus. Or I would be forced to surrender you to them and watch as they drag you away for worse."

"Like that would happen; they're just midgets to me."

"Darn it Joshua, open your eyes. This is my kingdom, a kingdom that is ruled with peace and harmony, whilst the other countries are merciless to foreign creatures. If I were to surrender you, you would be made a slave, or executed, or even experimented on before they tire of you. Bigger or not, you are not a citizen of Equestria!"

It's time like these that I feel idiotic. Unlike the previous times I made a fool of myself, this was definitely my biggest blunder of seeing the truth that she was hitting me over the head with her aggression. My arrogant smirk was gone again, replaced with a small fear that matched my sorrow.

I finally got the big picture of what was making Celestia so angry and hurt. And for it to take me this long to have epiphany only made me look like an ass.

This is earth, this is Equestria and I am standing on land that I am not welcome to. I am nothing more than a human that is doing no different than what an illegal immigrant does.

Cross the border.

"Don't you see now?" she said and approached.

Her expression was calm, desperately so. I could not remember her becoming this calm when she was staying at my house, nor help in recalling the same fear I received from my grandmother when I screwed up.

Celestia isn't her though, she is someone I care about and wish to know more. She is more than more my friend, but less than my lover, and only getting deeper into my heart with each second we spend together.

And so I showed my shame by frowning before looking away. I stared somberly at my reflection and tensed up to what I felt would be necessary for her to remain in the clear. It hurt, it really hurt to think how the only option for her to be safe from politics would be for me to do the obvious.

Why does it hurt? Why do I not want to leave her?

...

...

Am I falling for her already?

"Then-" I took a deep breath, finding my courage. "-You need to send me back to-"

Her interruption startled me, normally with the emotional outburst she presses against my lips. This time, however, she took into both of her wings and dragged me don to the floor with the collapsing of her body. She was silent, like the sound of death, and holding me so deeply that I kneeling into her underside.

She kissed the back of my head, forcing a soft shudder down my spine that matches with the scratching of hair clippers. It itched but felt so relaxing after she nuzzled me.

Who was I to say that it isn't enjoyable? After all, this is a dream come true with the most powerful goddess of this world holding for her own comfort and reassurance.

I just wished that things did not have to be this way; where I have to go back to-

"I can't let you go." she whispered lovingly, a smile forming on her as we stared into the mirror, watching a little magic form around her horn. "I won't let you go Joshua, I need you to be here for me and the foals."

It was a gentle glow, a small flash of light that grew bigger around us. Her eyes became white, blank with no other color in them, and all I could think of is what she was doing right now.

"Why?" I asked, disheartened by my own low self-esteem.

She chuckled, then turned me around to see the power in her. "Whether or not you wish to believe me, an alicorn is not one to be judged lightly. Our feelings are not like other ponies, our love is not a long process, it is quick to grow and become permanent because we are the sum of the three breeds, which means our everything is three times faster."

"Faster?"

Brighter and brighter with each passing second. It continued with the alicorn smiling and crying joyfully as the energy in her burned through me.

The heat, the intensity, the power of emotions flooded my body with this touch she has to me. I was not feeling the least bit stronger or wiser, I was...no, I am experiencing a piece of the alicorn's feelings for me. She was pouring herself into every fiber of my body with the magic she possesses.

I could see and feel her, I could...I can read her thoughts as she reads mine. Her warmth was not the usual cascading of another's love and care, it is a thousand hot suns washing over me while being drawn to her, as if it is the sweetest honey.

So...warm...comforting.

"Yes." Celestia crooned across my lips, smiling warmly as she teased me by retracting from my lips. "Do you feel it now, the love I have for you, the need to own you as much as you do to me? Do you know now that what I feel is not an animal's lust, but a true feeling that you made in my heart?"

I nodded and fought the tears. I remembered my grandparents loving me so much that it was impossible to be angry at them, but this...this light inside her was an inferno that took me away from the world around us.

"For me...please." she whispered. We broke apart and stared at one another, thinking oppositely of what she meant. "Please Joshua, alter to one...for me."

"To what?" I chuckled nervously.

"To a pony." My throat went dry, I assumed the worst and stepped away from her without the slightest idea of what she could do. But she kept...approaching. "Please...for me."

I kept backing away until my back touched the wall. I was trapped and scared of what she was doing or maybe going to do to me without my permission. I didn't agree to all this, to changing myself for her, I only meant to make her happy as who I am.

"You want to change me into a pony...for good?" I asked defensively, scrunching from when her lips touched me again.

"No my dear, just long enough to where no one suspects of you being human. When you are with me, helping me through the day, you will be a pony, but when we are alone you will be yourself."

I still did not like her idea of covering this shit up by making me a pony. Although it would drop suspicion to a low level of me being a new pony, it still didn't change the fact of being a big lie that Celestia carries with her all the time. Not to mention it would run the risk of being found out if someone were to notice anything different.

Besides...I LIKE BEING HUMAN.

"Nope, nope, no way, not happening!" I blurted, throwing my hands out in front of me as we heard the doors open.

Once again I was in the presence of Princess Luna and having myself a hissy fit of what Celestia wants to do. Citizenship, cover up, it did not matter because I am not one to go so far for one female.

I am human and that's how I like it because humans are the shit. We can do things no other animal can do, and just the thought of having no thumbs pisses me off.

I mean come on, clopping instead of jacking off...yeah...FUCK THAT!

"I thought you would have him changed by now, sister?" Luna suspected. Her brow raised with mine as we stared at the nervous alicorn in confusion.

"I just told him Luna." Celestia barked quietly. "It's harder than it looks because he is refusing to change for me."

"Well yeah, because I did not sign up for this shit, I did not sign up to becoming a pony!" I protested.

"What is so hard about it? I mean I changed into a human for you."

"No you didn't-" I pointed a finger at her. "-You did that to get out of the house and see what my world is like. So don't be trying that with me."

And just as we were about to argue some more, possibly yell and bicker...

"ENOUGH!" Luna yelled with the stomp of her hoof, silencing the two of us before things got really heated.

We looked away from one another. I crossed my arms and huffed while Sunny Butt snorted and walked away. We said nothing to each other after that, but Luna had a good set of words for me.

Talk about taking the family's side and making me look like the bad guy.

"Joshua-" she barked. "-There is no other way for you to step hoof out of this room. You must let us temporarily change you so that no one suspects as much. Tis the only way for you to be around my sister and fill that void she has in her heart."

I remained cold on the subject, silent and cold.

"If you were to step into the throne room you would be put in shackles and locked away until the other royals were informed of you. Our only choice then would be to put you on trial for trespassing and assume that you are a dangerous threat, in which leaves me to the assumption of what the other royals would do."

"And what's that exactly?" I snarked, receiving that deepened glare of hers.

"Send you to Tartarus forever."

I gulped and freshened my mind a little, thinking a little more clearly with the weight of my situation. Tartarus is not the place I want to be in at all, nor around since it showed enough of what it is season.

But with things being so different than from the stories, there is a possibility that the cartoon is not the same either. For all I know there could be some jacked up creatures that wait to torture their prisoners.

Jeez, this was crappy and unfair in every way. I didn't really have a choice or a say-so in the matter, nor anyone on my side about this.

"You were just a mistake, a mistake I wish I could take back." Celestia said rashly.

"Sister!" Luna exclaimed, but we both knew where this going after she said that.

"Really?" I sighed at the window. "Princess Luna...please send me home."

As much I say about being a tough-hearted bastard, nothing prepared me for hearing Celestia say that I am probably a mistake. It stung...a lot, and it drew out a different set of tears as she and Luna gasped.

You could guess what happened next. Celestia realized what she just said and tried to take it back, but I was done hearing her and tolerating this bullshit she has with me. As much as I enjoy having those soft lips move to mine, the sheer force of my hand blocking her just now implied how painful it was to hear her say such things.

"Joshua I am so sorry for saying that." she apologized, voice filled with desperation and sorrow. "I did not mean that, I'm just angry, I don't meant what I just said, I-I care about you...I love you."

Before another word could pass her mouth, I yelled 'NOW' and watched the blue mare flinch with her magic released as a startling blast of white. I was in tears because I didn't know what was going to happen, but it didn't change that I am going to end this bullshit right now."

Sadly when the beam touched my chest, it did what I wanted. When I opened my eyes I saw nothing but what is familiar and a welcoming to me.

A loneliness that I saw all around me, and with no princesses screaming at me. And yet I was crying, almost sobbing as the warm air licked my skin.

Before I could comprehend what just happened...I...I fell to my knees...and suddenly screamed.

...

...

Why was I...hurting now?

...

Oh yeah...I just...broke up with-

"Joshua!"

And just when I thought I was in the clear, the mare I thought to hate me forever was indeed possessive enough to do this. Of course I looked up to the door with tears falling, but I never expected the light to fade away and reveal an upset Celestia in the doorway.

Seriously, her moment of going without me was brought to this. She was staring at me, crying her eyes out while mine were just trickling. And before I could say another word, she runs to me and pounces before my mind can process what the hell is up with her.

For fuck's sake she just doesn't give up!

"Celestia...please!" I struggled under her...again, only to be squeezed like a plushy as I listened to her sobbing and...footsteps?

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I never meant those things." she cried in an instant, unleashing her emotions like a monsoon. "But you're not leaving me, you're not going to leave me. I love you and I'm taking you back with me!"

As flattering as that sounded, the little man in my head was telling me otherwise. And knowing what it was telling me, I said...

"Fine, I love you to!"

WHAT THE FUCK!? WHY DID I JUST SAY THAT!?

You would think that the weird making up would happen right here and now, maybe even some weird idea of foreplay to bump up this oddball of a relationship.

Oh no, not here and now...because shit keeps hitting the ceiling fan right fucking now.

Much to my pleasure of feeling the mare kiss me all over, the sound of laughing and metal banging together made us stop. Just before Celestia could put another kiss to my cheek, a soft and malicious giggle echoed in the room, along with the door closing and locking on its own.

Or so we thought...

When Celestia moved away from me, the first thing I did was sit up and follow the sound that was not coming from her. Tia was...dammit I'm already forgiving her, somebody shoot me!

Fucking confidence.

As I said, Tia was across the bed and gasping. I was staring up to a familiar face with a gun suddenly pointed at my head, cocked, and that damn giggle petrifying me.

And just as I became frozen with fear...

"Hi baby." she murmured into my ear, forcing a soft nibble. "Did you miss me? Because I really missed you."

She was different and in orange. Her eyes were as black as I recalled the day she murdered my dogs and shot me, but something was horribly wrong with her, something that terrified me as I shivered at the pistol shaking in her hand.

Her teeth were broken, as though she got into fights, the blond hair she was born with was now a black with a strange redness dripping from the strands to all over her body.

"Who are you, and what are doing to my mate!?" Celestia asked angrily.

That's when my eyes widened at her other hand. For in her fingers were tufts of hair that held onto a severed head, grasping for dear life to the gray face I recognized.

It was the veteran, it was...Isaac.

"I'm Joshua's woman, you..." oh no, she realized that- "You're a pony from that weird cartoon, and you called him...your mate!?"

I always knew that she had a weird grasp of things, but for her to act out on jealousy and anger frightened me the most. She didn't act confused or scared of Celestia, rather unfazed and nefarious with whatever is on her mind. Not that truly scared me, and I knew for a fact that this is the beginning of Celestia and I making up...if we survive.

"Yes he is my mate, my prince-"

"Celestia, don't antagonize her!" I begged furiously, causing my 'old friend' to shove the barrel against my head.

"And you touching him like that is only angering me more; now release my Joshua or face the consequences."

Oh god, Celestia, you just screwed us over!

"Celestia, shut your mouth because Lacy will shoot us!" I pleaded. My hands were practically shaking from how much peril we are in. I could almost cry and beg for my life while having the silence now come in.

Not the silence, not the silence!

...

...

...

Suddenly I was forced to my feet, jerked by the collar of my shirt and turned to the enraged princess with the gun to my neck. And yet the woman I hate so much made things worse for and me with irritating her anger.

And by irritating...I mean...

"Well...Celestia-" Lacy snickered. Her other hand remained around me, but slowly slid down my pants until she got what she wanted to hold, causing the alicorn to snort uncontrollably. "-Joshua is mine and always will be, so take a seat in the corner...because I'm gonna fuck him in front of you...then kill him."

...

I should have let Celestia turn me into a pony instead...

To Be Continued...