Embracing the Sun

"Josh, are you okay?" Celestia asked for the fifth time, her concern being unnecessary as I watched the kids eat their pancakes.

I nodded at the mare, sharing very little of an answer as we sat in I-hop and enjoyed our first day outside of the house together. She was much like me when it came to breakfast, finishing fast so that a conversation can be made while the others ate and minded their own business.

Sadly I was not feeling okay, not when we are risking everything with her using magic to create an illusion that makes them look fully clothed. If it wasn't for the foals wanting breakfast first, I would already be in Dillards and purchasing a crap load of clothes for the four ponies that are now basically part of my life.

Then again I really cannot complain about having some time out of the house; what with things being chaotic these last few days of being with Ms. Sunny Butt. Her boldness has grown quite annoying, almost unbearable because of waking up to her snuggling me. At the same time though, I feel happy and relieved of my stress whenever said mare does her snuggling or cuddling with me.

Lately it has gone from just sitting next to one another to some small degree of kissing and touching without going below the belt. As hard as I try to fight the mare's intentions, my body keeps on betraying me, forcing my mind to relax and go blank with each small dip that is Celestia's affection.

I may be a normal person, but I am getting the distinct feeling that these moments of kissing will soon roll into the level of tongue.

"I'm fine Celestia" I whispered, never veering from the foals. "I just have a lot on my mind"

Indeed I do have a lot of stuff on my mind. The first being that we are out in the open with said princess using whatever magic she needs to keep things very discreet for us, the second thing being that we are in an I-Hop restaurant that is not really the best place to eat in this part of town, and thirdly I am having weird signs of being more than infatuated with her.

Arousal, the need to kiss her, to hold her as tightly as I can, and to have her next to me as much as she wants me next to her.

Oh yeah, I'm losing my mind because of her, losing my reason to be a jackass that doesn't give a shit about others. What's worse is that I am actually falling for her, but not just any kind of falling that is common for couples.

No, I'm actually wanting to fall for her to the point of thinking about the biggest change in my life.

Going with her to Equestria, to be with her forever.

Geez...I'm screwed up.

Still it was quite peaceful with the foals enjoying their pancakes and orange juice, the way their smiles showed certainly brings out the happiness I have yet to feel. Though entering fatherhood has been the most awkward thing in my life, they still see reasons to smile at a guy like me.

Yeah...a guy that hates life...and many people.

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...

Maybe I'm just not opening up enough to this whole father idea, maybe I need to stop being a little bitch and grow a pair while I still can?

Either way, I really need to man up sometime soon.

"What is on your mind, my beloved?" Celestia asked, her words ending with a loving purr as she rested against my shoulder and held my hand.

Thank god she can make illusions around us, making it so they look clothed when in reality they are wearing shorts and shirts that were enchanted to fit their sizes. Even if it is cold outside, their magic keeps them warm while I remain in real clothing that is meant for an Eskimo.

Strangely this was not a bad thing at all, the feeling that comes with her snuggling became a relaxer to my worries as her fingers curled around mine. The interlocking was tempting enough, but to be brushed on the cheek with her human nose made me shiver with delight while Sombra finished up and hopped out of his seat.

If it wasn't for my eagle vision, obviously an analogy to my carefulness, I wouldn't have noticed that Sombra used his magic to slip out a couple of dollars from my wallet after he stood up and brushed himself of any toast crumbs.

Of course I reacted to this, knowing what he just did is stealing from well...his father.

"Sombra, come here son" I said in a calm tone, pretending that I didn't notice anything.

He was hesitant at first, almost like he was afraid enough to run away, but seeing as how I am the authority figure made him approach with a low stare to the floor as he put his hands behind him.

Hands behind his back...common way to hide things.

At first I wanted to yell and scold him like most parents I see in this restaurant, basically berate them with insults and a feeling of being down graded. However it was his sadness just now that stopped me from doing so, the sorrow and guilt he held in his innocent eyes destroyed the anger I have over him being a thief just now.

Silence was between us for a few seconds, much to my displeasure of reaching out and pulling his hands in front of me to see he did take two dollars. When I saw this, I became disappointed in myself instead of him, seeing as how I should be teaching him and the girls the difference between right and wrong. But no, instead I have been so selfish of keeping them quiet and happy that I've been shutting them up by spoiling them.

As much as I hate to admit it, I know nothing about parenthood and have a long way to go.

With that in mind, I stared blankly at Sombra and gently took both dollar bills from him, only to hold them out and give what is to be my first set of wise words.

"Sombra Duncan" I whispered with authority, adding the last name to emphasize that he was caught red-handed. "You are to ask me for any money, you do not take it or anything whatsoever without permission because it is called stealing"

He looked away from me, his shame being enough as it is.

Wow...I'm seriously jacked up in the head. Since when did I ever act so mature and be a good father like this?

"Look at me son" I requested, surprisingly receiving his cooperation while Celestia and the fillies watched out of curiosity. "To be a thief makes you a low-life that has no respect for others, and I do not want you to grow up to be a low-life; should you want something, all you have to do is ask and I will do what I can...okay?"

He didn't say anything, this being hard enough for the little colt as I narrowed my gaze.

"Sombra, I believe you owe me an apology and explanation" I enforced.

He nodded this time and hugged my torso. "I'm sorry daddy, I just wanted what that lady has over there"

I chuckled for a moment, watching as he retreated from my arm and pointed at the waitress that was walking with a chocolate shake on her tray. She was definitely not the kind of girl you want to date and keep in your life.

Even if she is nineteen and gorgeous, this girl has built a reputation for  finding sugar daddies that will give her anything she wants for just a quick beat of their junk.

Not sure who this girl is, I only know her because of a few guys informing me that she is a money lover, but I could tell that she is a senior and a new employee that has been eyeing me like a new purse. Clearly she was out of her mind if she thinks she can hook up with me, but I guess I could let it continue so that Celestia would break her down with our little lie about our group.

Said lie being that we are married, wearing my grandparents wedding rings in order to make it look legit.

Oh well, what's a little fun without teasing some people, especially when the one that has claimed you looks like Bayonetta.

Now if I could just make her hair do that weird twirl like in the video game.

Anyway, I switched the two dollar bills with a ten dollar bill to make sure Celestia, Chrysalis and Nightmare Moon got shakes of their own. I wanted nothing since I had my scrambled eggs, hash browns, and french toast, which is more than enough to keep me going until lunch. Still I stared at Sombra when I handed him the money and rubbed his head, the lesson being over, but I felt that something was missing.

"What do you say son?" I asked, my mental process not even alarming to the last word that was genuine and...incredible to say.

"Thank you" the little colt, well human, chimed, followed by rushing over to the counter and climbing the stool.

As this went on, I watched him order the milkshakes by pointing out what the waitress had on her tray while Celestia was taking advantage of my obliviousness. With lips as soft as pillows, I shivered at her wet touch landing on my neck while her hand gripped mine even tighter. Her teeth sank a little into my sink, producing an arousing tickle that I found hard to like.

"I love you" she whispered, those three words being the heart stopper for me as I returned from my stupor.

I pulled away from the princess and ripped my hand from hers, stopping all of this with a scared look on my face. Now I stared into her eyes, her deeply purple eyes that shifted into sorrow and betrayal of my feelings for her. She nervously whimpered at me, the fear around her being almost a clear canvas, its' tension being too much for me to handle with silence and shock.

My mind was blank at first, but the echoing those words did in my head brought me to the desire of clarifying where we stand in this relationship. Though it would hurt her, I could not return the words she gave me because of the one fact I have yet to feel and accept.

I just wished it wasn't so hard to say when she asked the worst question.

"Do you" she took my hand again, her desperation making it harder to be honest. "love me back?"

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...

...

"No"

She gasped once more, retracting her hands from mine with a tearful jerk that I was terrified to see. Celestia was definitely upset over that and going to get worse unless I clarified what I meant when I just said.

I do have feelings for her, I want to be with her, but I can't say those words because I don't feel it...yet.

And thus she tried to stand up and leave, but my hands quickly thrust to her arms and pulled her back down before grabbing both of her trembling hands. She fought for maybe a second, struggling to break free and leave, but I pulled her close and crashed myself into her lips while my arms had the chance to wrap around her. Of course Chrysalis and Nightmare Moon were disgusted to see this, but I was thinking that they were more worried of what is happening between Celestia and I.

Sadly the princess nipped my tongue when I tried to go deeper, so I pulled away and quickly stood the two of us up for a little more privacy over this. Sure it is wrong to leave the foals alone in the restaurant, but the only way in or out is the entrance we passed through.

"Stay here kids" I then pointed at Sombra. "Son, stay with your sisters"

Once that was done, I dragged the human-like alicorn into the cold and brought her around the restaurant where it was vacant. She wasn't willing to go there, but I made the princess follow and pushed her again the stone wall so that she didn't try to run.

Surprising that no one was calling the cops right now, seeing as how I forced Celestia outside.

"Get away from me" she sobbed, trying to push me away with her human strength. "Leave me to go back to Equestria!"

"Celestia, liste-HEY!" she threw a slap, leaving a nice red mark until I grabbed her wrists. "Stop it and listen for a minute, just let me say this!"

"What!?" she spat, saliva now on my chin. "That you are never going to love me, that I am not the one for you, that this was all just a mistake"

"No" I calmly answered, only to get a bit more of her thrashing.

"Oh well maybe then you can't love a mare!?" she sarcastically laughed, having no sense of control. "Maybe you're keeping me here, tending to me because I am a princess that is vulnerable and innocent" her tears didn't stop, but worsened. "Is that it Joshua, are you wanting to take my innocence and make me your breeding toy!?"

Yeah, that was a low blow right there; how dare she say something like that when I am trying to let her know my feelings are not that deep yet!?

As careless as I am about what others think, I could not help feeling hurt by those words while holding her against the wall. Though our height difference is her being just a couple inches shorter, I felt small and pathetic, seen no different from other men, after those words passed her mouth as an insult from the anger she feels.

Strangely terrifying to feel, almost petrifying, I felt a couple of tears escape as the words I returned shut her down.

"I JUST DON'T LOVE YOU YET" I screamed. "MY FEELINGS FOR YOU ARE NOT THAT DEEP...YET...NOT JUST" I let her go. "...yet"

And so the silence came around, our feelings for one another being so different that we hurt one another. Now that we knew the pace was different between us, we had some idea of where we are as a couple, or in her terms...as mates. But being accused so harshly by Celestia, assumed to be another common male that only wants sex, I felt the twinge in my heart twist and fall further into my chest while the magnitude of her wrongdoing crashed onto her shoulders.

Neither of us said anything for a moment, and we probably should have remained silent, but the apology she tried to give triggered something I could not suppress or hide.

Now her voice was quiet, full of sorrow, but most of all...irritating.

"Josh, I...I'm so-"

"You know what Celestia, just shut up and listen!" I barked, startling said princess as I glared at her and trembled with all the anger...all the...rage from being seen as nothing more than a rich man that girls can manipulate.

Oh god, it felt so horrible to see her afraid like this, afraid to see me so angry... to lose me, but the pain and unsettling rage continued to blind me with justifiable words.

"I know you want someone to love you for who you are, but you cannot make them love you, you cannot make me love you right now. Believe me when I say my feelings for you are growing every single day we are together, believe me when I say I know you have a heart and soul, I know you are not just some princess that protects your subjects and makes them happy, I know you are not a machine...but a lonely mare that wants someone to be with forever...as you have been trying"

Her eyes widened. "You mean...you-"

"Of course I knew, I've known all along" I answered, scaring her much worse with the truth that has shown as signs over the weeks. "The headaches, the hallucinating, being so full of energy, I know what this link is doing, that it is making me like you...eternal...but-"

"But?" she whispered, trying to hold my hand...only to have it retract before she could.

I looked away from her, from the princess I see...not the human.

I took in a deep breath and mustered my courage.

"But doing so makes me feel that I cannot trust you, seeing as how you did this without my approval" I clenched my fists, holding in the need to hit something. "And for you to say such things just now, when you know I respect you, appreciate you, want to love you in the future...is the most hurtful thing to come out of your mouth...because your the first...to hurt me"

At that point I walked away from her, the end of this conversation being now because I had to make sure the foals were okay. I cared about Celestia still, my feelings for her being the same, but what she does now is her choice to make. My priority is to make sure everyone is safe and happy, and right now I needed...no, I wanted to make sure that three foals were safe and happy in the restaurant.

To my happiness I was returning to see them sitting at the table still, but this time with their milkshakes in their hands. However I returned with the princess rushing inside and grabbing my hand before my mind processed who was next to Sombra, who was touching his neck, slowly reaching down his back.

"Joshua" Celestia whispered, her lips pressing against mine for but a moment after she turned me. "Forgive me for being so stupid, please stay with me...please"

My mind barely took in what she said, her presence being numb to me as my eyes locked onto the horror that was next to the human-like unicorn. I took in the moment with a dark feeling that has never been felt before, or even thought of.

And when I did feel it...embraced it so...quickly...I reacted furiously.

"Of course Tia" I said calmly, but that was all I could say before seeing the man draw his hand around Sombra's waist, curling his dirty fingers to where they almost touched his rump.

The sight, the gall to touch Sombra, the nerve to show up and try to play buddies with my...my son... when he just got out of prison. I lost all sense of humanity with the cringe Sombra expressed when the man went for his leg. Celestia was oblivious of these actions, but I knew very well what this rounded sicko was trying to do while the parents were not around.

That being Celestia and I.

It was infuriating, overwhelming my nerves with the desire to murder him on the spot. Every hair on my arms stood up from the blistering fury in my chest, matching the heat of a forest fire.

The intensity of stopping this bastard eroded me, screamed in my head, controlled with a frightening rage that travelled to my gun.

"Sombra" the man chuckled in his southern voice, his greasy brown hair hardly covering his rotten teeth. "That's a nice name you have, and you have pretty sisters"

"Brock...Rivers" I growled, knowing this man from the jailbird newspaper I bought last week.

First Degree Rape, Molestation of a six year old boy, and sexual assault; all at the age of eighteen...and now...he's fifty-nine.

"Joshua, what's wrong?" Celestia asked me, the sound of her voice being a drifting echo to the reality I am focused on.

"Why don't we go find your mommy and daddy, I'm sure they-"

His hand squeezed Sombra's leg...it...squeezed...

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(Gunshot)

To Be Continued...