Me and My Shadow

Chapters

Standby for Titanfall
Big Punch
Breaking and Entry
Cash Is King

Standby for Titanfall

“Pilots, this is Captain Miles speaking. We have tracked the rebel carrier to this backwater settlement of theirs. She’s badly wounded, and has stopped here to take on water after our last engagement. As such, the rebels have deployed a small ground force on the coast, and a considerable number of fighters. Your objective is to take the coastline from the rebels so our anti-air teams can neutralize their airforce. Once that is done, we can finally take down these rebels and rejoin the fleet. Pilots, prepare for titanfall.”

Pilot Dillemuth sighed as the captain finished his announcement. They had been chasing this one Militia carrier for the past three weeks and had only managed to damage her water tanks. But now it finally seemed like they would be able to take down their target.

While most other IMC pilots were excited to get the chance to kill more of the Militia, Dillemuth was rather indifferent about the whole affair. He was a mercenary, a soldier of fortune. He didn’t share the same hatred and bloodlust of many of his fellow pilots. To him, this was simply a job.

Being a mercenary in the IMC carried its own issues. He was constantly ridiculed and looked down upon by his superiors and fellow pilots. But he didn’t care. Everyone was motivated by something different, his motivation just happened to be a paycheck.

As many other pilots began to climb into their titans, Dillemuth continued to fiddle with his own Ogre titan. The IMC allowed a maximum of two titan upgrades and two pilot equipment upgrades per pilot. In Dillemuth’s eyes, this was a stupid policy. Why not give pilots whatever support they wanted? It was something the young mercenary didn’t understand, nor did he respect it. Giving a cautionary look around to make sure no one was watching, Dillemuth pulled a fist-sized chip out of his pocket and plugged it into his titan.

“Join the IMC, they said. They’ll provide you with everything you need, they said,” the pilot muttered as he closed the access hatch of his titan.

The pilot chuckled to himself as he climbed into his Ogre. He would be riding down with the first wave of the assault. Typically, first wave pilots didn’t last very long. But Dillemuth had a plan. He would stay back and fight defensively and allow the really aggressive and insane IMC pilots to rush headlong into the enemy. If he was lucky, he could just pick off the survivors with his 40mm cannon.

While his Ogre wasn’t the fastest, or most agile, it was built like a tank. He had once seen a single veteran Ogre pilots take on three Atlas titans, taking only moderate hull damage in the process.

Now it was his turn. While this wasn’t his first fight, he was still relatively new to the IMC. The one thing he never enjoyed was dropping into a battlefield. He would have much preferred to ride down in a dropship, and then meet his titan on the ground. Unfortunately for him, that was not an option today. Resigned to his fate, Dillemuth closed the hatch on his titan and prepared for titanfall.

The young mercenary ran through a quick mental checklist as the other titans joined him in the drop zone. Each titan would be secured inside a fairing before being dropped from the carrier. The ride from low orbit would be quite short, about two minutes. Though for Dillemuth, it was two minutes too long.

Just as he was reflecting on how much he hated dropping from orbit, the countdown timer began to beep. With one last deep breath, the timer sounded a long, high pitched tone. Suddenly, Dillemuth found himself falling from the bottom of the ship. As his titan hurtled toward the surface, it felt like his stomach had just tried to occupy the same space as his brain.

After a few seconds of what would later be described as one of the worst possible feeling known to man, the fairing around his titan broke away. As soon as the debris were clear of the titan, it extended its arms in preparation for landing. Only seconds later, Dillemuth’s titan landed with a thunderous boom.

Quickly standing up, the Ogre removed the 40mm cannon from its back as the other five titans landed nearby. This was it, time to earn his paycheck.

“Alright pilots, this is a battle of attrition. Kill all the Militia fighters in the area,” announced the captain over the radio.

His group’s leader, riding in an Atlas, turned to face the other four titans. “Alright, you heard him. If it isn’t IMC, you kill it. There isn’t a whole lot of cover around here, so be careful. Watch for Stryders in the tree line to our right. Dillemuth, Johannas, you’re with me. We’re going along the left side by those hills. Guyy, Ramirez, you two take the tree line and cover us.”

“Uhhh, shouldn’t I go on the right with Ramirez? We both have longer range weapons,” Dillemuth

stated, not wanting to be in the first group to charge into the Militia.

“Yeah, fine. Guyy, with me. Let’s go kill ‘em all!”

The three titans began their charge toward the hills on the left, while Dillemuth and Ramirez made their way to the edge of the tree line. While Dillemuth’s Ogre wielded a 40mm cannon, Ramirez’s Atlas used a plasma railgun.

“Man, I can’t wait to kill some fucking Militia. BOOM! Headshot! Right through his fucking domepiece!” Ramirez exclaimed over the shortwave radio as the pair made their way along the forest edge.

Dillemuth rolled his eyes as he continued forward. “Yeah, that’s great dude. Now do you mind keeping your focus on our left flank?”

“Yeah whatever man. These Militia fucks couldn’t hit the broadside of a barn. Why do you think they haven’t beaten us yet?” Ramirez stated with excitement.

“I guess you’re right. On the other hand, they did kinda destroy Demeter. Ya know, that one critical link back to the core worlds? The thing that is literally our only line of reinforcements and resupply. But if you don’t count any of that, then I guess you’re pretty spot on,” Dillemuth stated sarcastically.

“The only reason they did that is because they’re too scared to fight us head on. That’s why they did a pussy move like that,” Ramirez continued.

“I got an idea, let’s play the don’t-speak-unless-actually-necessary, game.” Dillemuth replied dryly.

“Man, fuck you,” Ramirez shouted back.

It was at that moment that a single shot was fired from inside the treeline, striking the Atlas in the body. Dillemuth couldn’t help but chuckle at the very precise shot managed to completely disable the shields of the Atlas. Both pilots now began to scan the forest for the source of the projectile. Though the dense trees made that much more difficult.

“Hey Ramirez, what was that about the Militia not being able to hit a barn?” Dillemuth chuckled.

“Fuck you dude!” The other pilot shouted back as another round impacted his titan.

This time Dillemuth was able to see where the round came from. Though it came at the cost of Ramirez’s titan, which was now on fire. Seeing that his partner would soon be forced to eject, Dillemuth began to fire into the woods, hoping to hit whatever was in there.

“Mother fuckers! I’ll fucking- Oh shit!”

Dillemuth turned to his partner in time to see a Stryder dash out of the woods, only to punch straight into the cockpit of the doomed Atlas. In one swift motion, the titan ripped Ramirez from his seat before crushing him like a tomato.

While Dillemuth wasn’t happy to watch the Militia kill his partner, he also wasn’t all too sad to see the loudmouth go. What did make him happy was to see the Stryder in front of him had quite a few blast marks on its hull. Deciding to put his Ogre to good use, he began to sprint at the enemy titan.

Before the Stryder had a chance to finish discarding the dead Atlas, Dillemuth’s Ogre slammed into its side. The IMC mercenary quickly brought up his cannon and quickly fired two shots into the unshielded Stryder. With his target now critically damaged, Dillemuth dashed forward before using his titan’s superior strength to finish off the enemy.

Rather than try punching through the badly damaged titan, Dillemuth knocked the weapon away from the enemy titan before grabbing each of its hands. With a quick tug, the Ogre ripped the arms off the Stryder and proceeded to use them to bash the enemy titan into the ground. Seeing that the Stryder’s arms were now firmly embedded in the cockpit, Dillemuth picked up his own cannon and continued heading toward the coast.

“Hey, Kessel. Ramirez is dead. Stryder got him from the woods,” Dillemuth stated calmly over the radio.

“Shit,” came the voice of their team leader, “Guyy is also dead. Are there any more titans in your area?”

Dillemuth took a quick glance around as he walked onward. “Not sure. I haven’t been shot at in the past minute.”

“Alright, we’re here at the beach fighting four Militia pilots. I’m not sure where the other two are.”

Dillemuth turned around to glance at the burning Stryder behind him. “I managed to decapitate the Stryder that popped Ramirez, so that eliminates one of your missing titans.”

“Good work. Head into the woods and see if you can find the other missing pilot. Good hunting.” With that, the line went dead.

Now on his own, Dillemuth stopped to look at the forest. It was very possible that another Militia pilot was lurking somewhere in the woods, just waiting for him to drop his guard. Dillemuth quickly reloaded his cannon before starting the trek into the woods.

Moving a large titan through the woods was no easy task. The large pine trees were packed tightly enough to inhibit visibility, without always preventing the titan from moving. As he continued to move through the woods, there was a loud crack as the tree next to him exploded in a shower of splinters and wood. Without pausing, Dillemuth sent his titan into a sprint, easily trampling any trees in his way.

As he continued to run, more trees began to explode around him. Gradually he was beginning to pinpoint just where the shot were coming from. Keeping pace with him only a hundred meters away was a Militia Stryder with a railgun. Knowing that his opponent was faster and more agile than he was, Dillemuth changed course and began to run at the Stryder, forcing it to take time to evade the charging Ogre.

As the young mercenary pilot sent the enemy titan fleeing into the woods, he began to really take in his surroundings. He was standing on the edge of a small grassy clearing. Oddly enough, railroad tracks cut through the left hand side of the clearing. Dillemuth found this exceptionally odd. Trains hadn’t been widely used in centuries.

However, the young pilot would not get a chance to reflect further on this development, as his titan was hit in the back by a fully charged railgun slug.

“Warning, we have sustained severe damage. Seek cover immediately,” warned the onboard AI in a male British accent.

What his attacker didn’t know was that he had a fully charged ability core. With the flip of a switch, his titan’s core began to shimmer and glow as the external energy shields were supercharged. Now that his titan's shields were even stronger than before, Dillemuth once again charged his opponent.

The Stryder pilot was quite surprised to see the Ogre turn and charge after having been shot in the back. Even more startling was the fact that it’s shields were now back to full. Now with an angry Ogre pilot bearing down on him, the Stryder pilot took aim and began to charge up another shot. Just as his gun was about to be fully charged, the Ogre had moved within striking distance.

With a quick dash to the left, the nimble Stryder managed to evade the Ogre, but at the cost of a missed shot. Now having to charge the rifle again, the pilot once again took aim. Only to watch a single missile fly from the Ogre’s shoulder. before he could react, the missile hit him dead center. As the primary explosive detonated, dozens of smaller charges flew into the air and began raining down on the area.

Quickly, the Stryder pilot used another quick dash to avoid taking any more damage from the cluster bomb. Finally, with enough distance between them, the Stryder took aim and fired another fully charged round from the railgun. This time it found its mark, causing the Ogre to stumble slightly as its shields strained from the impact.

Dillemuth recognized the glow coming from the Stryder’s weapon and quickly deployed his titan’s electric smoke. While this was effective for electrocuting and killing anything within the smoke, it was also very useful for obscuring the vision of enemy pilots and missiles. Utilizing the smoke to his advantage, Dillemuth quickly moved back into the tree line in hopes of surprising his opponent.

Sure enough, as soon as the smoke faded, the sound of a railgun shot echoed through the clearing. Surprised to see his opponent was no longer with him, the Stryder pilot began looking around, only to be nearly knocked to the ground by a sudden impact from behind.

Rather than take his opponent at range, Dillemuth decided to engage the enemy titan up close where his Ogre was much better suited. The Stryder pilot tried to throw a quick punch before dashing backward, only to have his punch caught by the much stronger Ogre.

Now with one hand caught and the other one soon grabbed as well, it looked like the Ogre was going to give this Stryder the same treatment as the other one before. Wanting to keep things a bit more lively, Dillemuth began to force the enemy titan to the ground where he could easily smash him.

Though as the Stryder was forced to a knee, a thunderous boom and blinding flash of light forced a pause in the combat. Off in the distance, the Militia carrier had burst into flames and was in the process of crashing. Surprisingly, the IMC carrier was also gravely wounded and looked to be on the verge of death as well.

“All pilots! This is Captain Miles, we have sustained heavy damage from Militia fighters. I doubt we’re going to last much longer up here. Do whatever you have to, but get clear of the coast. You’re all on your own now. Miles out.”

With another massive explosion, the IMC carrier cracked in two and began to fall. Just as both pilots finished watching their respective ships die, a third explosion tore through the forest, this one much closer than the others. Looking to the left, a large ball of fire and smoke began rising from just beyond the clearing. Strangely, the sounds of screaming and yelling echoed through the woods.

The two pilots continued to stand there, frozen in their combat. Suddenly a very loud, and very sinister sounding laugh, echoed over the screams of terror. Both pilots couldn’t help but feel a sense of dread at the evil sound. Slowly, Dillemuth reached forward and opened a channel to the Stryder pilot pinned below him.

“Alright, look. Seeing as my employer just exploded, I have no more reason to kill you. In fact, I would rather go see what’s happening over there. So either I can let you go and you can not shoot me, or I can kill you now if you think you lack the discipline. You’r call,” Dillemuth stated bluntly.

“Fuck you! If you think that just because our ships ship exploded, I’m just gonna let you walk away, then you IMC guys are more retarded than I thought,” the Stryder pilot shouted in response.

Dillemuth sighed and simply continued to press down on the titan. The Sytrder’s shields tried for a moment to reactivate, only to be shut down the the Ogre on top of it. The Stryder pilot knew he was in trouble. His titan was beginning to break under the strain of wrestling with the Ogre. Perhaps living to fight another day was better than needlessly dying here.

“Fine! Fine! You win!”

Dillemuth smirked at this and slowly let up his assault. The Stryder slowly stumbled to its feet before raising its railgun. Dillemuth just stood there in his Ogre, waiting for the other pilot to make a move.

Inside the Stryder, pilot Villarreal was having a serious problem. If he tried to take out the Ogre now, he would probably die. But if he went along with this other titan, perhaps he could eliminate him later when he had the element of surprise.

Leaving the Stryder behind, Dillemuth began to pilot his Ogre toward the source of the now subsided screaming. As he walked away, the Ogre raised its middle finger up over its shoulder, in plain view of the fuming Stryder pilot.

“Hey fucktard, wait up!” Called the Stryder pilot.

Dillemuth’s Ogre looked to the right as the Stryder caught up and began walking next to him. “Oh, what’s this? Is the big bad Militia pilot scared of being alone?”

“What? No! Fuck you man. I’d just... rather not be... left to die in the wilderness,” muttered Villarreal.

“Uh huh, sure. So what’s your name?”

“Why the fuck would I tell you that? You were trying to kill me just a few minutes ago!” Exclaimed the irate Militia pilot.

“Alright, guess I’ll just have to call you... Shit-face Mcgee. How’s that sound?” Dillemuth said with a chuckle.

Oh fuck you! You think you can just call me whatever the fuck you want and I won’t do anything about it! Is that what you fucking think!?” Villarreal shouted as he brought his Stryder to a stop.

“If you are so insistent on doing something then you can do one of two things. You can try to hurt me, or you can just tell me your fucking name,” Dillemuth replied as he stopped to face the Stryder.

“Fine, you wanna know my name so fucking badly?! It’s Villarreal. There, happy?” The Militia pilot said with a huff.

“Thank you, Shit-face Villarreal Mcgee.” Dillemuth answered with a flourish and bow of his titan.

The Stryder pilot was at a total loss for words as the Ogre in front of him did a bow before turning and continuing on toward whatever lie ahead. With a quick dash forward, the Stryder caught up to the slower Ogre.

“So... any idea what the fuck is causing all this?” The Stryder pilot asked while looking up at the rising smoke and flames.

“Nope,” replied the Ogre pilot.

“So we’re just gonna walk in and see what happens?”

“Yup.”

“This plan is fucking stupid, I hope you know,” Villarreal chidded.

“I didn’t hear you suggest anything. So if you have something better, I’m all ears,” Dillemuth replied with a frustrated sigh. The agitated Stryder pilot quickly stopped talking after hearing that.

After a few more minutes of walking, the glow of fire could be seen through the trees. Without missing a beat, both titan pilots jogged out into the clearing. Before them was a scene out of a bad monster movie.

Standing over a burning and wrecked train was a creature easily as tall as a standing titan. Its coloration of red and black, coupled with the massive curved horns on its head, gave it a demonic look. Attached to what looked like the body of a horse, was the upper torso of a man with curved black horns, forming what could only be described as a centaur. Between the base of the horns sat a glowing ball of light, gently floating in mid air. Making matters even more complicated, the centaur seemed to be holding a white horse with wings and its own horn protruding from its forehead.

While the white horse seemed to be being slowly crushed by the centaur, everything stopped when the titans emerged from the forest. The eyes of the centaur, and the eyes of dozens of other creatures around the wreckage were fixed on the two pilots.

“Hey Shit-face?” Dillemuth asked with concern.

“Uh huh?” Villarreal quietly responded.

“What the fuck is that?”

“I dunno...” the pilot replied timidly.

“I kinda wanna kill it. Wanna help?” Dillemuth asked.

“Not really, I kinda wanna just go back into the woods. This clearing sucks,” Villarreal pleaded.

“Don’t be a bitch. Either you help me fight this... thing, or I tear off your legs and leave you here. Deal?” Dillemuth said in a very threatening tone.

“...kay.” Villarreal said as he brought up his railgun and fired.

Big Punch

Tirek smirked inwardly as he dug through the burning wreckage of the train. His minions had done well at stopping the train, allowing him to search for his prize with little resistance. Going from car to car, Tirek happily drained the magic from each pony along his search. While they were only drops in the bucket that was his growing power, they were still worth collecting. Though for Tirek, he was really looking forward to finding the two powerful beings on this train.

After tearing through five train cars, and draining all of the occupants, Tirek finally came to what he was looking for. As he tore off the roof, he was met with a blast of light that struck him in the face. It was a very powerful magical attack that would have caused him serious harm if he hadn’t been expecting at least a little resistance from his prey.

Rather than allow the magic attack to hit him for full force, he quickly inhaled it and added it to his growing stores of power. With a smug grin, he looked down at the caster.

“Princess Celestia, you dissapoint me. I would have expected you to put up a better fight. Has years of peace made you soft?” Tirek said in a taunting voice.

As Tirek reached for the solar diarch, a light purple dome formed over the wrecked train car.

“What’s this?” Tirek asked with a bemused grin. “Honestly, you think a petty shield will save you? Have you learned nothing? Your magic belongs to me!”

Tirek once again opened his mouth and began to siphon the energy straight from Shining Armor’s shield spell. Unfortunately for Shining, Tirek didn’t stop with the shield and continued to pull power straight from the young unicorn. After a few moments of agonizing pain, Shining Armor collapsed as the last vestiges of magic were ripped from his body. Seeing her husband writhing on the floor in agony, Princess Cadance rushed from her hiding spot behind some overturned furniture.

“Look around you. Demons, Diamond Dogs, gryphons, and even some minotaurs, all of them my faithful servants. They understand their place in this world. It’s time you all do the same,” Tirek said as he narrowed his gaze on Cadance.

Celestia seized the moment as Tirek’s attention was drawn to the pink alicorn. With a quick thought, Celestia formed a magical ring around Tirek’s neck and began to squeeze. Surprised, and amused, by the brazen attack, Tirek shot his hand forward and grabbed the solar alicorn by the neck and lifted her up. Cadance could only watch in horror as Celestia screamed out in agony while Tirek tore the magic from her.

As Tirek was just about done, the sound of trees breaking and falling echoed over the sounds of his nearby minions and the burning train. Stopping what he was doing for a moment, Tirek looked to see what the cause of the sound was.

Standing at the edge of the clearing were two massive metal giants, unlike anything he had ever seen. One of the giants was considerably bulkier, much more round, and probably slower. The other, however, seemed to be thinner, more box-like, and probably quite a bit faster. The two giants looked to each other for a moment before looking back at Tirek. Suddenly, the thin one raised a long, strange looking, object that began to glow. Before Tirek had a chance to react, a thunderous boom echoed as something flew out of the open end of the object, striking him in the side. To Tirek’s absolute surprise, it really hurt.

~~~<<<>>>~~~

As soon as Villarreal fired, Dillemuth too raised his cannon and began to fire while running forward. As the large Ogre ran forward, it began crushing the numerous creatures that were trying to strike the sprinting titan. Soon though, Dillemuth found himself needing to reload his cannon while Villarreal skirted around the edge of the clearing, firing his railgun the entire time.

Rather than take the time to reload his cannon, Dillemuth dropped it, killing a few minions who were unlucky enough to stand underneath it. Now without a weapon, the Ogre pilot dashed forward and closed the distance to the strange creature. Using his titan’s left hand to grab the centaur, Dillemuth drove his right fist into the torso of his opponent. Letting go with his left hand, he quickly brought it back and slammed it into the side of the centaur’s head.

That was when another railgun shot slammed into the back of the centaur, causing it to howl in pain. Quickly, Dillemuth delivered another bone-shattering blow with his titan, while simultaneously grabbing the dangling body of the white horse. Using his left hand, the pilot grabbed onto the centaur’s wrist and quickly squeezed until he felt bones break. With his opponent unable to hold on the the horse’s neck, Dillemuth deployed his electric smoke before dashing backward, carrying the horse with him.

~~~<<<>>>~~~

Cadance couldn’t believe what she was seeing. What looked like two giant robots straight from one of her husbands favorite sci-fi movies, were now fighting Tirek. Even more surprising was when the bigger one seemed to rip Princess Celestia from his grasp. The smoke cloud that came from the giant was now crackling with electricity, causing Tirek to scream in pain, That was when a red light began to glow from within the cloud.

Without warning, a beam of pure force shot out of the smoke and hit the larger giant in the chest. Oddly, though, the giant flashed blue and seemed to shrug off the attack. Now that the smoke had cleared, Tirek turned to take a shot at the thinner giant. Charging up another shot, Tirek aimed at the giant and fired. Surprisingly, the giant seemed to simply slide to the left as the beam passed by harmlessly.

Infuriated, Tirek began firing faster shots at the smaller giant.

While the three giants began to battle it out, Cadance returned her attention to her fallen husband, trying to just keep him alive.

~~~<<<>>>~~~

Villarreal chuckled as he dodged the first beam with absolute ease. Now his target was shooting smaller beams at faster intervals. Realizing that he would need as much mobility as possible, the Stryder pilot activated his tactical core.

“Dash core, online.” Announced the voice of his titan’s AI.

Now the Stryder really began to show its strength. Rather than running around the battlefield, it simply used the jets on its back to constantly slide around in whatever direction it wanted. If the Stryder was hard to hit before, now it was damn near impossible.

As the titan continued to dance around the clearing, occasionally firing its railgun, the Ogre titan was starting to target the centaur with its shoulder mounted ordnance launcher. With a smile, Dillemuth fired the single cluster missile and effortlessly guided it to its target. The centaur roared in pain as the missile slammed into it and began bathing the area in high explosives.

“Enough!” Tirek shouted as he reared up and slammed down on his front legs. As he looked around the field, he could only see the smashed bodies of his minions and even a few ponies whom he had fed to his group. As another railgun shell impacted his side, he roared in agony and turned to flee.

Both pilots turned their titans to look at eachother. “The fuck did that thing just say?”

Dillemuth’s Ogre shrugged. “No clue, but its gone now. And look, I won a prize!”

Wondering what the mercenary pilot was talking about, Villarreal jogged over to inspect it.

~~~<<<>>>~~~

As Celestia finally regained consciousness, the first thing she realized was that she was laying on her side. Secondly, she was laying on what felt like metal. As she opened her eyes weakly to look around, she froze. Looking at her was what looked like a large eye with three pupils. Though this one seemed to be made of metal and glass. In fact, there now seemed to be another one approaching her from the side.

Her heart was racing as he looked these giants up and down. As she tried to figure out what was behind her, she spotted what looked almost like fingers. Giant metal fingers. That was when she figure it out; she was in the hand of this massive metal giant. Then, to her absolute horror, the face of the the one holding her seemed to swing upward, exposing what was inside.

Sitting in a chair was a creature that Celestia had never seen before. It wore what looked like blue and white clothing, with a full helmet where she guessed the head was. Hoping for a slight miracle, she looked up at the strange creature and spoke.

“Can you understand me?” She asked weakly.

Dillemuth’s face dropped as he listened to the horse speak. Now, he was no biologist, but horses generally didn’t speak. Slowly looking over at the Stryder standing next to him, he pointed at the white horse in his titans hand.

“So Shit-face, did you just hear this thing make noises that sounded like a language?” He asked with a shaky voice.

Villareal then opened his own titan in order to lean out and get a closer look. “It kinda sounded like it.”

“Thought so,” Dillemuth muttered as he removed his helmet and sat down on the edge of his open titan, allowing his legs to dangle over the edge.

Celestia was slightly disheartened to know that she couldn’t communicate with these strangers. She wanted desperately to communicate with them, to learn who they were, why they were here, and just about everything else. Worse though, she knew the spell that would allow them to understand her, and she them. Though she knew her magic reserves were dangerously low. Deciding that communication was more important, she gritted her teeth and began to cast the spell.

She watched the creature sitting on the edge of the giant recoil in caution as her horn lit up. Celestia could feel the very last drops of her magic waning as she finally cast the spell. As the glow from her horn faded, she weakly looked up at the creature.

“Can you understand me now?”

Dillemuth shrieked as she spoke, causing him to clamber back into his seat. Villarreal was so surprised that he lost his grip on the side of his titan, causing him to fall from the open cockpit. Lucky for him, his Stryder was quick to catch him before putting him back into his seat. A few tense seconds passed as the young mercenary tried to process what he just heard.

“Y-you can talk?” He asked with disbelief.

Celestia chuckled as she nodded weakly. “I can. Though I’m afraid I won’t be very talkative at the moment.”

While the solar princess sounded calm and collected, she was anything but. Suddenly Celestia’s eyes went wide as she looked back at the ruined train through the fingers of the giant hand. Cadance and Shining were still onboard the burning wreckage.

“Please, there are two other ponies onboard the fifth car. One is white and blue, the other is pink,” Celestia pleaded as she looked back and forth between the giants.

Dillemuth looked at her expression and sighed. “C’mon Shit-face. You heard her.”

“One of these times I’m just gonna fucking kill you,” Villarreal called back as he shut the hatch on his titan.

Celestia weakly sat up and rested against one of the giant fingers, hoping to spot her niece in the raging inferno. Luckily for the pilots, the two still living ponies were rather easy to spot among the debris. The pink one seemed to look up at the Stryder as it towered over her before looking up and seeing Celestia sitting in the hand of the other

“Cadance, is he okay?” Celestia called out.

Cadance looked back to her husband before nodding. “I’ve given him some of my magic. He needs rest now.”

“Thank harmony. Listen to me carefully, these... things don’t appear to be aligned with Tirek, and right now that’s good enough for me,” Celestia called down.

The hatch of the titan holding Celestia opened up, revealing the pilot. “Ya know, I do have a name.”

Celestia looked back at him and smiled. “Well, I would very much like to know it.”

“Pilot Dillemuth, or just Dillemuth. And this here is Ogre,” the young pilot said as he patted the hull of his titan.

“Really? Naming you titan after its chassis? How fucking stupid are you that you couldn’t come up with a good name?” Came the voice of the Stryder pilot.

Dillemuth sighed as he pointed to Villarreal. “And that’s Pilot Shit-face Villarreal McGee and his Stryder.”

Celestia raised an eyebrow in curiosity at the vulgar name. “You two don’t really seem to get along very well.”

Villarreal scoffed as he stomped out part of the flames, making a path for Cadance and Shining to safely disembark. Dillemuth shook his head in disappointment.

“That’s quite the understatement,” Dillemuth stated as he looked toward the Stryder with contempt.

“So what the fuck are we doing here? Cause he ‘aint moving, and I’m tired of standing around in the open while that other big fucker is still around,” Villarreal asked as he scanned the treeline with his railgun.

Dillemuth looked to Celestia for input, “So... since I’m guessing this land is yours, what are our options?”

Celestia looked at the pilot with surprise. “I’m surprised that you trust me enough to ask that question.”

The pilot sighed as he leaned back into his seat, “I don’t. But I know when I’m in over my head. You’re not trying to murder me, and that’s more than I can say for that other asshole. Right now, you’re my best bet for surviving this.”

The princess pondered his words for a moment before nodding. “Well said. I can give you directions to our capital. As long as I am with you, nopony will question you. Both of you will be given safe passage. Just... please take those two with us,” Celestia said as she motioned toward Cadance and Shining.

Dillemuth bobbed his head side to side as the thought about carrying more passengers. “Alright, alright. I’ll grab them, then we should get going.”

Gently, the mercenary pilot lowered his titan’s left hand to the ground. Cadance looked at the metal appendage suspiciously before looking up to Celestia for reassurance. The older mare looked down at her niece and nodded. Cadance let out a long sigh before helping her husband onto the hand before climbing on herself.

Seeing that his new passengers were fully onboard, Dillemuth began to look for a direction to head. Realizing that he had no idea where to go, he looked to the ponies for directions.

“So I just remembered that I have no idea where to go.” Dillemuth stated from the open cockpit.

Celestia chuckled and looked toward the railroad tracks. “Just follow the train tracks south. Then we will want to follow the east line to Ponyville.”

Dillemuth blinked as he processed what she had said. “Alright. Hey, Shit-face! You’re on point.”

“Uh, fuck that,” the Stryder pilot replied.

“Allow me to rephrase that. Take point before I break your legs and leave you here for that faggy centaur thing.” Dillemuth said with an intense glare.

“His name is Tirek,” one of the ponies replied.

“Right, I’ll leave you to be raped by Tirek. I’m sure he’ll need a new bottom bitch after I killed most of his little shits,” Dillemuth continued to shout.

“Fine! I’ll take point. That way if he comes up behind us you’ll be the first one to get eaten,” Villarreal replied.

“Less talky, more walky!” the mercenary shouted.

~~~<<<>>>~~~

The sun had gone down in the two hours since the group began their trek. Luckily, the group failed to encounter a single living being during their journey so far. Now though, the train tracks split into two directions as the forest ended, giving way to rolling green hills.

“Alright Shit-face, let’s stop for a sec,” Dillemuth called out over the radio as he opened his cockpit. “Hey, um.... uhh...”

Celestia looked back to the human as he stumbled for words. He was looking at her with a painfully confused expression. “My name is Celestia.”

Dillemuth snapped his finger as he pointed at her. “Ah, that’s it. Celestia, you said we needed to head east?”

The princess nodded. “Yes. This line will take us east toward Ponyville. Once there we can contact Princess Twilight and have her inform my sister about what has transpired.”

“Wow, you know a princess? What’s that like?” Dillemuth asked with an impressed expression.

Celestia chuckled as she looked to Cadance. “It can be a hooffull sometimes, but I’ve learned to manage it.”

“Hey! Asshole! Are we going somewhere, or are you just gonna have social hour?” Villarreal called out from his Stryder.

“Watch your tone, creature! That is no way to speak to two princesses of Equestria!” Shining Armor shouted from the hand of the Ogre.

Dillemuth’s eyes went wide as the pony shouted. “Waiiiiit a sec. He just said....”

Celestia simply nodded with a slight smile.

“Well... that would’ve been nice to know earlier,” Dillemuth mumbled as he sat back down in his seat.

“To be fair, you didn’t ask.” Celestia replied with a chuckle.

Dillemuth wanted to protest, but knew that she brought up a valid point. He had only just learned her name, so learning her title shortly after was still his fault. “So is there, like, some proper way I should be speaking to you? I don’t wanna have some angry king come swinging for my head for disrespecting his daughter.”

Celestia shook her head. “You don’t have to worry about that. Though my sister may be less... understanding, than me. Besides, she and I are the two main rulers of this land. Twilight was only recently coronated, and Cadance here rules the land up north.”

Dillemuth sat there in shocked silence as he listened to everything she said. “That... doesn’t really reassure me.”

“As I said before, as long as I’m with you, you have nothing to worry about,” Celestia repeated.

“Right... so, east?” Dillemuth asked as he tried to forget what he had just heard.

“Yes, east.”

As the group made their way east, Celestia couldn’t help but worry about her new acquaintance. She didn’t know what he was, where he was from, or even why he was here. Worse though, she still wasn’t sure if she could really trust him. While he had indeed saved her from certain death at the hands of Tirek, she had no idea how long he would remain even slightly friendly. For now though, she had no choice but to trust him. Both of their survivals depended on working together.

Author's Note

So here we are. Titanfall. This is my attempt at giving a fairly repetitive FPS that claimed to have a story, an actual story. Not sure what else needs to be said here, so as usual...

Questions, comments, concerns, things you liked, things you didn't like, haiku poetry, toss 'em bellow.

Breaking and Entry

Dillemuth sighed contently as his titan continued to run across hills. His passengers were contently talking amongst themselves while Villarreal’s titan ran ahead. Occasionally Dillemuth would have to tell the faster pilot to slow down. This was usually met with a snarky remark about how much slower and dumber IMC pilots were. As usual, the mercenary pilot replied with a threat that involved the forceful removal of certain limbs.

Now though, it seemed that the two pilots had reached a silent understanding. Threats were exchanged slightly less, with both pilots opting to make the cross-country journey in silence. Celestia, however, took this opportunity to learn a bit more about the one she knew as Dillemuth. Taking a break from watching the world through the fingers of a titan, she casually looked over her back toward the swiveling triple-eye of the Ogre.

“So, Mister Dillemuth, I just realized that I know next to nothing about you, aside from your name,” Celestia stated.

“This is true, I take it you have some burning questions?” The pilot asked over his titan’s loudspeaker.

“I do. Would you be opposed to me asking a few?”

“Eh, you’re going to find out sooner of later, might as well make it sooner. Ask away,” Dillemuth replied.

“I guess a good starting question would be ‘what are you?” Celestia asked.

Inside the titan, Dillemuth’s wandering mind was brought back to reality by the pony addressing him. Hitting a switch on the wall, the hatch on his cockpit swung up. He thought for a moment about putting on his full-face helmet, but found himself rather enjoying the cool night wind.

Celestia was intrigued to see the pilot’s true face. He was a fair skinned man, with short, light brown hair. His lower face was covered in a bit of light colored stubble, making the scars on his left jawbone almost invisible. Even in his sitting position, Celestia knew he was capable of looking her in the eye when standing. Though most noticeable was how tired he looked.

“Fair enough. My race are called humans, we’re an advanced species of apex predatory primates. Personally, I live on Mars with my mom and sister. Now I’m out here fighting terrorists and insurgents.”

Celestia did not seem at all satisfied with the pilot’s answer. “There must be more to your life than that. Like, your family, what made you leave them behind and come here?”

Dillemuth sighed as he looked up to the stars. “My sister suffers from a genetic disorder that basically makes everyday life for her nearly impossible without assistance. Because of that, my mother is the primary caregiver, leaving me to make enough money to support our family.”

“Your father wasn’t around?” Celestia asked with a raised eyebrow.

Dillemuth shook his head. “No. He died in a mining accident on Phobos when I was sixteen. That’s where I got this titan from. Originally, titans were created to help in large mining operations. Then someone thought that if you gave it a big gun, you could really ruin someone’s day. Anyway, after my dad died, I took his place in the mines. For a few years I bounced around from mines on Phobos and Mars, barely making enough to live on. Then this war on the frontier broke out.”

Celestia couldn’t help but feel a pang of sorrow for the pilot. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

The young pilot simply shook his head. “I’ve had time to come to terms with it. Anyway, when I was twenty two, I got offered a job with the IMC. While I didn’t really care about the whole civil war thing, I needed the money. So I signed up as a mercenary pilot for the IMC. I’ve been fighting the Militia for almost a year now.”

“I see. I must confess, I believed you to just be a hired sword looking for riches in the suffering of others. I’m sorry for that,” the Princess replied with a bow of her head.

“It’s alright. I’ve gotten used to it. Hell, almost all the IMC soldiers I worked with hated me just as much as the Militia did. Most of the other soldiers thought I wasn’t loyal enough to the IMC. They were expecting me to betray them at any given moment,” Dillemuth said with a shrug.

“That must have been difficult.”

“Again, I got used to it,” Dillemuth replied dryly.

The two sat in silence for a few minutes until Celestia spoke up again. “So what will you do now? Try to contact your own people again?”

“I’m not sure if that’s possible anymore. Our two ships did a great job of blowing each other straight to hell. So for the time being, Shit-face and I are stranded here. If I’m really lucky, the IMC will consider me dead,” Dillemuth said with a chuckle.

“Why would you want that? Don’t you want to go home to your family?” Celestia asked with shock.

“I would. But that’s no longer possible, even if I got back with the IMC. A few months ago, the Militia blew up our main refueling depot, effectively stranding us light years away from the core worlds. It’ll be years before we can even think about going home.” For Dillemuth, it hurt to admit this to the Princess. He had since come to terms with it, but having to vocalize it brought up repressed feelings.

“Wouldn’t it be worth it to wait? Surely you will be able to return home some day?”

“That’s the thing. I was only supposed to do two tours with the IMC; so six months. I chose that number because I was afraid of the war changing me into someone my own mother wouldn’t recognize. At this point, it would be better if my family just thought I was dead. I wouldn’t want their memory of me to be tainted by what I have become…” Dillemuth said as he looked down at the passing ground.

“And what is that?” Celestia asked, even though she could easily predict what he would say next.

“An absolute monster,” muttered the young pilot.

A few more minutes passed before the Princess thought of another question. “So… if this ‘IMC’ thinks you’re dead, what will that mean for your family? Don’t they still rely on your paycheck?”

Dillemuth chuckled at this. “That’s the other half of it. My contract with the IMC includes a ‘Death Clause’. If I were to die while on my tour, my family would continue to receive my salary for at least fifty years. It’s the IMC’s way of maintaining a positive image. Nothing makes people happier than seeing a corporation take care of the families of fallen soldiers.”

“What about him?” Celestia asked as she motioned toward the Stryder.

“No clue. Only met him today after we tried to kill each other,” Dillemuth replied with a shrug.

This left Celestia to wonder about the other pilot. She still wasn’t quite sure what to think of the two humans. Dillemuth had quite a lot more to him, other than the title of mercenary. This left the Princess to wonder what Villarreal had in store.

As the Ogre crested yet another hill, Dillemuth was surprised to see Villarreal standing just under the crest, looking through the scope on his railgun. Before the pair was what looked like a massive orchard, leading to a small farm house and barn.

“An orchard, huh? See anything cool, Shit-face?” Dillemuth asked as he lowered the hatch on his cockpit.

“Fuck you, and yeah. Remember those little fucks that we kept running over while fighting What’s-his-fuck?” Villarreal replied as he kept his weapon leveled.

“Yeah, the little things that were with Tirek. Why?”

“Because I see five of the little shits running through those trees. Looks like they’re heading up the hill toward the head of that farm,” the Stryder pilot announced over the radio.

Popping open his titan once again, Dillemuth looked to Celestia through the opening. “Does this area seem familiar?”

“Why yes, this looks like Applejack’s farm. Ponyville should be just over that hill,” Celestia replied with a nod.

“Oh…kay… Is there a way you could, like, hang on to something? I might need the use of my hands soon,” Dillemuth asked as he looked between Celestia and the other two ponies.

“Well, this thing is metal, right? A simple magnetism spell would let us essentially latch on to anywhere. Why do you ask?” Celestia replied with a question of her own.

“Remember those little minions of Tirek’s? Shit-face over there spotted a group of them moving through the trees down there,” Dillemuth stated as he leaned back into his seat.

“The Diamond Dogs? Are you sure?” Celestia’s tone taking on an air of seriousness.

“Yup. So I might need to move you three up higher. The best place for you would be on my back, right above the reactor pack. So I would appreciate if you did that magic thingy of yours,” the pilot stated as he closed the cover on his titan.

Quickly, Celestia looked to Cadance and Shining. “Cadance, can you cast a magnetism spell on the three of us? Dillemuth needs us to move up high on his titan.”

With a simple nod, Cadance cast the spell on herself and the other two ponies. Seeing the flash of light from the pink pony, Dillemuth first raised his left arm up to the top of his titan. He listened for the tell-tale sounds of someone climbing on his hull before lowering the hand and raising up Celestia. After a few more moments of noise, the young pilot reached back and pulled his titan’s weapon from the magnetic clamp underneath the reactor pack.

“Alright Shit-face, let’s go fuck shit up,” Dillemuth said with a chuckle.

“Ah, now that’s something I would be happy to do. Shall we make chase?” Villarreal asked over the radio.

“Yes, we shall.”

The two titans took off at a full sprint toward the orchard ahead. The plan was simple, cut off the Diamond Dogs and try to capture them, otherwise destroy with all due prejudice. The night was about to get a whole lot more interesting.

~~~<<<>>>~~~

It was the perfect night for this. Lord Tirek had ordered Snapper and her small pack to gather as much information about Princess Sparkle and her friends as possible. For the five Diamond Dogs, this was going to be an easy night. Moving through the orchard toward the Element of Honesty, the pack moved almost undetected. Almost.

With the sound of a loud crack, the trunk of the tree directly behind them exploded in a shower of splinters. Two of the dogs let out loud yelps as pieces of wood tore through their backs. While not fatal, it was incredibly painful. As her pack members recovered from the sudden attack, Snapper began looking behind them, trying to pinpoint the source.

The Diamond Dog didn’t need to look far, coming at them from the side was a massive monster the likes of which Snapper had never seen. With a quick bark, the other dogs split up and headed in random directions.

Dirtpad was one of the newer members of Snapper’s pack. For the young Diamond Dog, this was his very first mission for Lord Tirek. Now, it was looking like it would be his last. In a spark of panic, the Diamond Dog tried to dig into the ground, only to be stopped by the intricate root system of the trees around him. Doing the next best thing, he quickly ascended the nearest tree.

While he couldn’t see past the leaves, he could easily hear everything. His pack mates were growing more distant, as the mechanical thumping sounds also faded. It had seemed like his hiding place had paid off. Just as he was about to drop from his hiding spot, a deep thud caused him to freeze.

*THUD*

The sound was very steady and slow. Almost like something was slowly walking around.

*THUD*

The dog’s heart-rate skyrocketed as he listened to the sound get closer.

*THUD*

Dirtpad clenched his eyes shut as his tree began to shake with each step.

*THUD*

The tree shook even more as the sound continued to get closed. He could barely hear a constant high pitched whining sound. The dog opened a single eye, only to see the leaves in front of his face. After a few seconds, only the high pitched whine was audible. Curiously, Dirtpad moved forward to see what was outside. Slowly, the dog began to part the leaves.

As soon as he moved the branch, a massive hand reached into the tree, grabbing his entire body. The Diamond Dog screamed in terror as he was ripped out of the tree by one of the massive metal monsters. The monster held Dirtpad up to what he thought might be its face, before turning around and walking away with him still in its grasp.

Dirtpad began to struggle in the monster’s grip as it began to jog through a path of ruined trees. He couldn’t hear the sounds of his packmates anymore. Only the sounds of machinery from this monster filled the night time air. The Diamond Dog cast a quick glance up the hill toward the farmhouse, only to see all the lights on, and a number of ponies leaning out the window. In a split second decision, the dog began shouting and wiggling. In a single fluid motion, the titan slammed its palm into a nearby tree, smashing the dog instantly.

~~~<<<>>>~~~

Dillemuth charged down the dirt road in hot pursuit of the other four dogs. Villarreal had broken off to chase a straggler deeper into the orchard. As the Ogre came up on the village, certain features began to come into view.

On the outskirts of the town was a large area surrounded by what looked like bleachers, making it look like a temporary stadium. However, half of the seats looked to be made of a white fluffy substance. Ahead of them on the road were a number of banners and flags erected on poles. Rather than try to avoid the oncoming obstacles, the Ogre titan simply ran straight through. With a quick swipe of his titan’s hand, Dillemuth ripped the banner out of his titan’s face.

As he entered the town, the dogs split into two groups. One group headed deeper into the village, while another group headed for the stadium. Figuring the Stryder would catch up shortly, Dillemuth charged after the group heading toward the stadium.

The dogs were making it rather difficult for the young mercenary pilot to line up any shots. Rather than waste ammo trying to hit his targets with no certainty of scoring a kill, Dillemuth opted to continue his pursuit. Unbeknownst to him, the ponies riding on top of him were hatching their own plan.

“Cadance,” Celestia nearly had to shout over the sound of the titan, “take Shining and go find Twilight! Tell her what happened and get word to my sister. I’ll stay here and do what I can to keep him from hurting anypony.”

Cadance nodded and quickly teleported away with her husband. Now, Celestia was on her own. Standing atop the shoulders of a titan, she had a perfect view of everything around her. Surprisingly, most of Ponyville still slumbered, with only a few lights coming on around the outskirts of town.

Dillemuth weaved around another tree before coming into the main arena of the stadium. Slowly, he began to sweep the grandstands with his cannon, looking for any sign of movement. With the lack of any artificial light, Dillemuth was forced to turn on his titan’s night optics. With the flip of a switch, everything became bright as day.

This sudden change in visibility gave the pilot the edge he needed. Crawling behind one of the benches was a single Diamond Dog. As soon as he raised his weapon, the dog got up and took off running. Unfortunately, the Diamond Dog wasn’t fast enough to dodge the titan’s fist.

With a loud crack, Dillemuth punched clear through the large wooden grandstands. As soon as he removed his fist from the grandstands, the second dog took off running across the arena. To the pilot’s absolute surprise, the dog seemed to run straight through the white bleachers. Following close behind, Dillemuth too charged straight through. As expected, he passed clean through. Unexpectedly, however, the white material seemed to dissipate as soon as he passed through it, leaving a perfect titan-shaped hole.

Just behind the bleachers were a number of boxes, crates, and a few other wooden object the pilot couldn’t identify. However, what he could identify was his target trying to hide among the crates. Rather than alert his target that he had been spotted, the Ogre merely ran through the crates, destroying and crushing everything, including the hiding dog.

As soon as he charged through the crates, flocks of birds seemed to flee from some of the broken boxes. Satisfied that this area was clear, Dillemuth began to work his way back toward the road leading into town.

~~~<<<>>>~~~

Cadance pounded on the door to Twilight’s home as the sounds of the nearby titan grew slightly more distant. After a few moments of pounding on the door, it finally opened. Rather than Twilight, Spike stood in the entryway.

“Princess Cadance!? What brings you here?” Spike asked groggily.

“Spike, is Twilight here?” Cadance asked with urgency.

“No, she’s not. Princess Luna summoned her to Canterlot a few hours ago. She didn’t say what it was, but I bet it was important. She looked really worried,” Spike replied as he began to hear odd sounds. “Is something going on?”

Cadance cast a quick glance over toward the edge of town before ushering Spike back into the house. “Shining and I will explain everything inside.”

~~~<<<>>>~~~

Villarreal and Dillemuth slowly crept through the town. They had tracked the last two dogs into the town, and were now methodically searching in between every building. On Dillemuth’s Ogre, Celestia was trying to get the pilot’s attention, but to no avail. Inside the cockpit, the pilot was totally focused on the search for the dogs.

The pair had been searching a block of the village when the Stryder pilot spotted movement across the street. The block was long and narrow, with a line of back to back houses. This provided a small alleyway behind, and next to, each building. Slowly, and on opposite sides, the two titans began to scrutinize every dark corner of the alleys. It was then that Dillemuth spotted the Diamond Dogs hiding next to a group of trashcans.

As soon as the dogs noticed the titans, they took off running at a full sprint. Both the Ogre and Stryder kept pace with the running dogs along the length of the alley. As Villarreal’s titan sidestepped along with the dogs, he began to charge his railgun. With a loud crack, the railgun discharged, sending a plasma round into the alleyway. Unfortunately, the round impacted the ground right behind the dogs. It did, however, break the windows of the houses near the Stryder. Dillemuth sighed as the Stryder fired it’s first shot. If the town didn’t know the titans were there, they sure did now.

With the block running out, Dillemuth dashed toward the upcoming intersection, intent on cutting off the fleeing dogs. As the Ogre charged further up the street, Villarreal kept the pressure on the dogs. In a matter of seconds, he would drive the filthy beasts into the hands of the waiting titan.

“Alright, who wants to eat shit first?” Dillemuth muttered as he waited to the side of the block.

As if on cue, the first dog came running out of the alleyway at a full sprint, followed closely by the second one. Unfortunately for the pilot, the first dog split away from the second while the Stryder was still trying to catch up, allowing the Diamond Dog to escape into a nearby building. The second dog was much less fortunate.

After watching the Diamond Dog in front of him get away, the second dog paused to look for a new hiding spot. Unfortunately for him, the Ogre titan noticed this, and moved in for the kill. With a quick dash forward, Dillemuth was standing practically right on top of the last remaining dog. Rather than just kill it outright, he decided to squeeze this one for some information. Reaching down, Dillemuth quickly snatched up the dog in his titan’s hand. Bringing his new prisoner up to eye level, he popped the cockpit hatch before crouching on the open edge.

“Alright, nod if you can understand me.” The dog nodded an affirmative. “Great, let’s make this quick and just get the cliche questions out of the way. Who are you, where are you from, who do you work for, and why are you here? Go.”

The Diamond Dog looked at the pilot and titan with absolute terror. “M-m-my name Quartz.”

Dillemuth nodded as he pulled a large revolver from under his seat. “Alright Quartz, where are you from?”

“Badlands. Me and pack live in Badlands,” Quartz replied shakily.

“There’s nothing in the Badlands except for changelings and a few nomadic tribes of buffalo. What possible purpose could you have there?” Celestia asked from the back of the Ogre.

Quartz quickly began shaking his head. “Pony wrong! Pony very wrong! Stupid pony know nothing about Him!”

“Hey! Eyes forward fuck-face. Who the fuck is ‘Him’?” Dillemuth demanded as he lazily pointed the hand cannon at the fearful dog.

“Lord Tirek, of course! Lord Tirek true master. Lord Tirek crush stupid ponies. Won’t make mistakes like last time!” Quartz exclaimed with vigor.

“That’s great, cupcake. Now why are you here?” Dillemuth asked.

However, the Diamond Dog took no notice of this question and continued to rant about Tirek. As the dog continued to shout about the wonderful nature of Tirek, Dillemuth began to really take notice that the town was waking up. It would only be a matter of time before ponies started coming out to investigate. The young mercenary tapped the side of his helmet as he looked to the Stryder standing at the end of the block.

“Hey Shit-face. This guy is useless. Wanna play a game?” Dillemuth asked as he closed the hatch on his titan.

“Fuck you, and it depends on the game.” Villarreal stated as he too began looking around town.

“Catch!”

The Ogre titan quickly tossed the Diamond Dog straight at the unsuspecting Stryder. However, Villarreal was quick enough to activate his titan’s Vortex Shield, effectively catching the dog and keeping it suspended at the end of the titan’s arm.

“Right back at ya, fuck-tard!” Villarreal shouted over the radio as he deactivated the shield.

While the Vortex Shield was designed to catch enemy projectiles and then throw them back at the target, it worked surprisingly well with a live target. Dillemuth chuckled while the dog screamed as it flew through the air back at the Ogre. Rather than try to catch the flying dog, the mercenary pilot simply slapped the dog out of the air and straight into the ground.

Looking around, Dillemuth and the Stryder continued their search for the last dog. The Ogre pilot had seen which direction his target had headed off toward. Carefully moving around the block, both pilots scrutinized every building for signs of forced entry. It didn’t take long.

As the pair approached a large structure that looked almost like a giant gingerbread house, Dillemuth spotted a broken window in a smaller structure behind the gingerbread house. Dillemuth held up a hand with his titan and pointed toward the small building. Villarreal slowly walked up to stand next to the Ogre.

“In there?” Villarreal asked over the radio.

“Broken window. I’d wager he’s in there. Lemme check,” Dillemuth replied as he reached into a bag under his seat.

Over the course of his time with the IMC, Dillemuth had “requisitioned” some extra supplies. One such supply was a small microchip. Dillemuth carefully picked it up and removed his helmet. With a quick press on the back of the helmet, the pilot opened up a small slot. Carefully inserting the chip, the pilot closed up his bag and placed it back under his seat.

“Alright Shit-face, gimme a few seconds and I’ll have this guy spotted...” Dillemuth slowly began to scan the building from inside his titan.

“Then what? You gonna go kick down the door and shoot him?” Villarreal asked sarcastically.

“More or less.”

Every few seconds, a radar pulse shot out from his titan, revealing every living being in a short radius around him. Looking to his right, Dillemuth could see five ponies sleeping in the gingerbread house. With a chuckle, he turned back to the smaller building, just as his active radar pulse echoed again.

~~~<<<>>>~~~

Dredger had never been so scared in his whole life. He had just managed to escape the two metal monsters and was now hiding in the refrigerated storage locker for the local bakery. The small building was full of freshly baked delights for the upcoming Summer Sun Celebration. Breathing heavily, Dredger finally began to bring his heart rate down. Sadly for him, it didn’t stay that way.

A bright light began to shine through the window he had smashed to get into the building. Fear once again sent his heart into overdrive. Defying what any sane being would do at the time, Dredger slowly peeked through the open window, only to see the the metal monsters shining some kind of light at his hiding spot.

He quickly jumped over a nearby table and hid behind it. Just as he thought the monsters couldn’t reach him, the entire structure exploded in a shower of splinters and wood as the larger monster simply charged through the building. The dog couldn’t even scream before a pile of debris crushed him.

~~~<<<>>>~~~

“Damn son, you IMC guys can be fucking brutal,” Villarreal remarked over the radio as the Ogre walked back through the ruined building.

“I have my moments.” Dillemuth replied as he looked around town. “So... I think we’ve caused enough damage here. Shall we, I dunno, run like hell before a lynch mob tries to chase us down with pitchforks and torches?”

“While I despise the idea that an IMC pilot could say anything intelligent, I will have to agree with that. Let’s get the fuck outta here, after we grab your other two passengers.” Villarreal answered as he turned and took off running down the street.

“Shit... where the fuck did they go?” Dillemuth muttered.

“Ask your other passenger, retard. I bet she knows.”

“Uhh, Princess? Where did the other two ponies run off to?” Dillemuth asked over his titan’s loudspeaker on the quietest volume setting.

Silence.

“Princess?”

“Was all of this necessary? Destroying so much of the town?” Celestia demanded.

“To be fair, we didn’t do that much damage,” Dillemuth replied cautiously.

“How can you justify destroying the livelihood and property of so many ponies?!” The Princess asked with anger in her voice.

“Because if we hadn’t eliminated the Diamond Dogs, then they would have gone back to Tirek with who knows what kind of information, endangering the lives of everyone. Buildings can be replaced, lives can’t.”

Celestia sighed in frustration as she looked at the ruined building behind Sugar Cube Corner. “You’re right, I apologize for my outburst. It’s been a rather stressful day.”

“I totally understand. We’ve all had different people trying to kill us today,” Dillemuth replied.

“But don’t think for a second that I’m just going to let you two off the hook for this. You will pay for the damage you have done,” Celestia said sternly

“Alright, alright, fair enough. Now, about the other two.”

“I told them to head to Twilight’s house. They’ll be safer with her,” Celestia stated as she looked to Twilight’s home.

“If you say so,” Dillemuth replied.

With their work in the village concluded, the two titans quickly sprinted out of town and continued heading toward the city atop the mountain.

Author's Note

More giant robots breaking shit.

Comments, questions, concerns, things you liked, things you didn't like, haiku poetry, toss 'em bellow.

Cash Is King

It was a lovely weekend evening in Canterlot. It was still fairly warm out, despite it being just past ten. Many ponies packed Imperial Boulevard, eager to enjoy the abundant nightlife. Whether it was the most popular night club, an evening at the theater, or just a nice dinner with friends and family, Canterlot had it all.

Oak Whisper rolled his eyes as he trotted next to his marefriend. She had wanted him to come with her for a night out at a club with some of her other friends. While Oak didn’t mind spending time with her, she had sprung this on him after he had already made plans..Sadly for Oak, his buddies wanted tonight to be a game night, a night he was now missing out on.

That was when the ground started to shake lightly. As the shaking became easier to feel, a rhythmic booming faintly crept into the night air. Ponies began stopping and looking to the open city gates for the source of the sound.

Slowly, the sound and shaking grew more intense. Ponies throughout the boulevard were stopping and waiting to see what was coming. Luckily, they didn’t have to wait long.

Dashing around the corner just outside the city gates, were two metal giants sprinting right for the the open gates. Directly behind them were over eighty guards in hot pursuit. For some reason, the guards seemed to only be chasing the giants, not trying to stop them.

Standing on the sidewalk, Oak watched in slow motion as the lead giant ran past him. For the briefest of moments, Oak could have sworn the giant was carrying a large white pony. Even stranger, was that he could have sworn it looked like Princess Celestia. Though before he could really get a good look, the giants had already passed.

~~~<<<>>>~~~

*Whoop Whoop*

“Warning, you are outnumbered eighty seven to one.”

Dillemuth gritted his teeth as he and Villarreal ran up the main street of Canterlot. As soon as the pair had come into view of the city they had been swarmed by guard ponies of all types. Pegasi were constantly swarming around them, unicorns were constantly teleporting and trying to slow the titans, while earth ponies were just trying to keep pace.

Now the pair were running through the main boulevard of the capital city. Celestia was now sitting in the hand of the Ogre, as riding on the back would have been quite difficult in her weakened state. While not the most ideal situation, it was the one they were currently faced with.

Originally, the plan was for Dillemuth and Celestia to confront the city guard outside the city and explain calmly what had happened. Unfortunately for everyone, the city guard captain assumed the titans had captured his Princess and was now giving chase.

~~~<<<>>>~~~

Princess Luna sat in night court listening to a terribly boring presentation from a terribly boring pony. For the past hour and a half, he had rambled on about the need for the development of weapons to fight off the possibility of giant robots. At this point, Luna was secretly hoping for a distraction of any kind. As if her wish had been answered, her guard captain came cantering in.

“Your Highness, I apologize for the interruption. but we have a developing situation.” The pony seemed shaken as he continuously looked over his shoulder toward the door.

“Mister Bay, I’m afraid we are going to have to reschedule at a later date,” the Princess stated firmly. “Now Captain, what is the issue?”

“It’s... complex. It has to do with your sister’s train being delayed, but there’s more. Some... thing, has shown up in the city and is making its way toward the palace. We need to get you to safety,” the pony pleaded.

“If my sister is involved then I shall not be leaving. Now, are your guards engaging this unknown being?” Luna inquired as she walked toward the doors to the courtyard.

“No, your highness. They are simply traveling with them and making sure any civilians are not in its path,” the pony replied as he trailed the Lunar Princess.

“Them? Are there more than one?”

“Yes, Princess. There are two. So far they seem to be uninterested in the city,” the guard captain stated.

Stepping out into the brisk night air, Luna slowly walked through the courtyard. There were at least eighty guards in the courtyard, all watching the entrance. As Luna walked, she could just faintly hear what sounded like heavy machinery. The Princess looked around at the guards as the sound slowly got louder. Not surprisingly, most of the guards seemed confused or scared.

“Captain, you mentioned my sister was involved in this?” Luna asked as she continued to watch the open drawbridge.

“Yes, Princess. One of the giants seems to be...”

Luna raised an eyebrow as she looked down at the pony. “Seems to be...?”
The guard captain gulped audibly before he spoke. “Seems to be carrying her.”

~~~<<<>>>~~~

This was it. Finally after almost fourteen hours of running, the pair were moments from arriving at the castle. For the past ten minutes they had been surrounded by almost a hundred angry guard ponies. Dillemuth was positive the only reason they didn’t attack was because of Celestia.

“Hey, Shit-face. It kinda feels like we’re in the middle of a mosquito swarm, but none of them will bite us because I’m holding a can of DDT,” Dillemuth mused as he watched the ponies around him.

“Shut the fuck up. You’re not funny.” Villarreal muttered as he stayed as close to the Ogre as possible without touching it.

*Whoop Whoop*

“Warning, the bridge ahead will not support the titan’s weight. Recommend finding an alternate route.”

Dillemuth grumbled as he looked ahead. At the end of the road was a simple wooden drawbridge and moat. If he was fast enough, he might be able to cross the bridge before it shattered. Best case scenario, he made it across without issue. Worst case, the bridge broke and he ended up swimming with a bunch of angry ponies and a Princess.

*Whoop Whoop*

“Warning, bridge unsafe. Seek an alternate route.”

Ignoring the AIs protests, Dillemuth continued sprinting to the edge of the bridge. As soon as his titan’s foot touched the wood, he quickly dashed across, followed closely by the Stryder. Luckily, the bridge didn’t collapse instantly, but instead creaked a groaned as the two moved quickly across. Unluckily, the two titans dashed into a courtyard filled with even more angry guards. Looking behind him, Dillemuth watched as the drawbridge was raised, effectively trapping them in this courtyard. Of course, if Dillemuth really wanted to escape, he could. Not much could hold a rampaging titan.

Both titans stood back to back as they looked at the massive ring of guards around them. Dillemuth held Celestia close to his titan’s chest while he kept his right hand ready to strike anything that attacked him. As he continued to scan the group for any sudden movement, Celestia looked up at him with a shake of her head.

“Dillemuth, you need to put me down now. These ponies are only agitated because they think you are trying to harm me,” Celestia said reassuringly.

“But if I let go of you, then there won’t be anything to keep them from trying to jump me. You said it yourself, they won’t attack as long as you’re with me,” Dillemuth replied with a hint of worry.

Celestia chuckled. “Yes, I did. But now we’re at the castle. You have my word that none of my guards will cause you harm.”

Dillemuth sighed as he looked around one last time. Now standing at the edge of the ring of guards was a much taller pony, much like Celestia. However, her coloration seemed to be the polar opposite of Celestia’s. Not only was her coat different, but so was her overall attitude. From within his titan, Dillemuth could easily tell that the dark blue alicorn was glaring straight at him. She knew what he was holding and was not happy about it.

Knowing that the only peaceful way out of this situation was to give up his only insurance policy, Dillemuth slowly knelt down and set his titan’s left hand flat on the ground. The guards all tensed up and numerous horns ignited as the titan knelt. Slowly, Celestia got to her hooves and stepped off the hand. Taking her time, the Solar Princess slowly walked toward her sister. As soon as she reached the halfway point, no less than two dozen guards put themselves between her and the titans.

Celestia smiled warmly as Luna trotted forward and embraced her sister in her massive wingspan. “It’s alright, Luna. I’m okay.”

“How can you say that?! You show up in the hands of these... things, I can barely feel your magic, and to be frank you look terrible.” Luna shouted with worry. “What happened to your train? Twilight came here in a panic when it didn’t show up, and I was beginning to consider dispatching the guard to find it.”

“That... is a bit complicated,” Celestia replied.

“Alright, we can talk inside. What do you want to do with those... things?” Luna asked as she took a series of deep breaths before nodding toward the titans with a frown.

“Those things are titans, and they are responsible for saving my life,” Celestia stated firmly.

Luna’s eyes went wide as she looked at the two titans. “I... I think we should go have that talk now.”

“I agree. But first,” Celestia looked to the guard captain behind Luna, “have your ponies stand down. You can all return to your duties.”

The guard captain looked rather unsure of the order and looked to Luna for confirmation. The Lunar Princess only offered a nod in response. Slowly, the mass of ponies began to filter out of the courtyard, leaving the two Princesses with the two titans.

“Dillemuth, Villarreal, you two need to come with us.” Celestia called up. “Sister, you may want to cast a quick translation spell.”

Luna watched in wonder as the titans opened up, only for a bipedal creature to drop down from the openings. As the two pilots walked up, she cast the spell. At first glances, they seemed to carry themselves with dignity and pride. That quickly evaporated as one of the pilots stuck his foot out and tripped the other one, while looking away innocently.

“Wow, you IMC guys sure know how to be graceful. No wonder everyone hates you, you make shitty first impressions,” Villarreal whispered with a chuckle as he continued to walk forward.

Dillemuth grumbled as he slowly got up. Walking briskly, he caught up to Villarreal, only to quickly spin around and roundhouse kick him in the chest, sending the pilot to the floor. That was it. Using his jump pack to get back on his feet, Villarreal quickly lunged forward and began to unleash a barrage of quick punches on the mercenary pilot. While Dillemuth was successful in blocking a few, even more were getting through.

As the Militia pilot tried to knock Dillemuth to the ground once more, the young mercenary lunged forward and tackled his assailant. Now straddling the Stryder pilot, Dillemuth grabbed the side of Villarreal’s helmet and ripped it off before sending a flurry of blows into his face. Unfortunately, the IMC pilot was so caught up in the moment that he hardly noticed Villarreal grab his side and flip him over.

Now on bottom, Dillemuth’s helmet was forcefully removed just before receiving an elbow to his head. For only a second or two, Dillemuth was subjected to a number of painful blows to his head. Just as a fist was about to hit him, he quickly grabbed Villarreal by the collar and brought his head down just in time to impact with Dillemuth’s. For a split second before impact, Dillemuth remembered something he heard from Sergeant Blisk.

“Remember, pilots. There are no winners in a headbutt. That’s why it’s better to just stab the bastard, or not get grappled in the first place.”

Princess Luna watched with an unamused expression as the two pilots wrestled and fought on the ground. There were a few guards who wanted to intervene, but a quick glance from the Lunar Princess stopped them in their tracks. Celestia looked to her sister with a shake of her head.

“Can you please put an end to this? I’d rather they not kill each other,” Celestia asked.

Luna mumbled something under her breath as she picked up both pilots in her magic before prying them apart. The two humans were too stunned to really recognize that they were floating toward the dark blue alicorn.

“Since it seems you two are acting like foals, I suppose I must treat you as such,” Luna stated bluntly as she turned and walked alongside her sister toward the castle.

~~~<<<>>>~~~

Ten minutes later, both pilots were sitting on opposite sides of a long table with numerous bandages and bruises on their faces. Princess Luna was giving both of them a rather critical gaze while her guards stood at the edge of the room. Celestia had since gone to bed, leaving Luna to question the two humans.

Underneath the bandages and bruises, Luna could see Villarreal’s skin was a bit darker than the fair-skinned IMC pilot. His head was covered in short black hair with very little chin stubble showing through the multiple bruises. Overall, his build seemed quite similar to Dillemuth, though he was just a bit shorter than the IMC pilot. Luna watched silently as Dillemuth’s green eyes stayed locked with Villarreal’s dark brown. With a sigh, the alicorn spoke.

“Alright, so let me see if I have this straight. You two are fighting an interstellar war that just happened to show up on my doorstep, during which both your ships destroyed each other, effectively stranding you both here,” Luna stated as she reviewed a notepad in front of her face.

“Pretty much,” Dillemuth replied as he held an icepack over his right eye.

“Question,” Villarreal said as he raised a hand.

Luna nodded at him, “Yes?”

“How the fuck are you levitating that thing!” The Militia pilot shouted while pointing at the notepad.

“Watch your language,” Luna hissed. “A simple levitation spell. Now, after you two decided to stop trying to murder each other, you headed into the forest to investigate a nearby fire.”

Dillemuth nodded. “And screaming. Don’t forget the screaming.”

“Yes, the screaming. So you appeared in a clearing with railroad tracks where you came across a burning train, an army of Diamond Dogs, and Tirek,” Luna stated with a skeptical gaze.

“Levitation... what, is that like, magic and shit?” Villarreal asked as he leaned forward.

“What did I say about watching your language?!” Luna replied as she rubbed her temple with a hoof. “Yes, it’s magic.”

“I apologize for Shit-face here. I don’t think he knows how to hold a conversation with any civilized individual,” Dillemuth announced.

“The same goes for you. While you are here, you will be mindful of your language. Understood?” Luna demanded as she looked between the two pilots.

“Yes ma’am,” Dillemuth replied with a defeated nod.

Luna turned her glare toward Villarreal as the pilot seemed to be contemplating her words. “I expect an answer.”

“What? Oh fine... this is bullshit...” Villarreal muttered as he crossed his arms in a pout.

Luna began to grind her teeth as she looked at the belligerent human with utter contempt. How her sister dealt with these two psychopaths was totally beyond her. With a sigh she reached down next to her and levitated a pair of small brown bags onto the table.

“Now, while I would rather deport you both to the badlands for acts of terrorism...”

“Terrorism!?” Both pilots explained, only to be silenced as Luna held up a hoof.

“You rampaged through a town, killed five unarmed individuals, and caused tens of thousands of bits worth of damage. Deporting you would save me the trouble of having to spend resources and time keeping you in prison.” Luna deadpanned.

“Yeah, but we only did that so Tirek wouldn’t get any information from those scouts. Celestia was there, she can vouch for us on that one,” Dillemuth protested “She said the cost was worth it and that we wouldn’t be punished too severely.”

“Yes, I am aware of that. As such, you did save my sister from one of our greatest enemies. Because of this, you are both being given a reward for your selfless acts. While neither of you are citizens of our nation, at least let us express our gratitude to you.” With her rather forced speech concluded, Luna slid a bag in front of each pilot.

“Keep it,” Villarreal replied as he pushed the bag back to the center of the table. “The only thing I want is a pile of IMC corpses. So unless this bag is going to let me kill them all, I’m not interested.”

Ignoring Villarreal’s comment, Dillemuth untied the string holding the bag closed. His eyes went wide as the light hit the contents. Inside what looked like a very small purse were what seemed like hundreds of golden coins. Ever so gently, Dillemuth reached in and rubbed one of the coins. Each coin was easily two inches wide of what looked like, and felt like, pure gold. As Villarreal pushed his bag away, Dillemuth lunged over the table and quickly grabbed it before standing up and walking toward the head of the table.

Luna watched with interest as one human refused the reward, only for the other one to quickly scoop it up. Now he was walking right toward her. Unsure of his motives, Luna quickly began thinking of a spell to keep him at bay. To her surprise, he simply pulled out a chair to her left and took a seat next to the head of the table.

“Is this solid gold?” He asked quietly

Luna stared at him blankly before bringing herself back to reality. “Those coins? They’re ten percent copper and ninety percent gold. Why? Is there something else you would rather have?”

“What? No no no no, gold is good. Gold is great, actually. Though I am curious as to how this tiny purse can hold this many coins.” Dillemuth chuckled as he set the two coin purses on the table.

“A basic holding enchantment. Simply put, the bag is bigger on the inside,” Luna stated. “In total, there are five thousand bits in both purses.”

Dillemuth blinked dumbly at the Princess as he began to chuckle manically. “Your Highness, you just paid me enough to buy my service for the next hundred years.”

Villarreal looked at the now former IMC pilot with disgust. “Here he goes. Changing sides to the ones who pay him the most.”

Dillemuth shrugged. “So what? The Militia doesn’t pay enough, the IMC doesn’t pay in solid gold, but these wonderful ponies sure know how to show gratitude.”

Luna raised an eyebrow at the human to her left. “Yes, my sister mentioned your... situation. My condolences.”

The mercenary pilot shook his head. “It’s fine. Anyway, you now own the service, expertise, and loyalty of a titan and pilot.”

“Hmmm, well you did manage to stand up to Tirek and walk away fairly unharmed... I suppose your insight might be useful to our own guards,” Luna muttered as she looked at the pilot to her left.

Dillemuth began looking at his arms before spotting his IMC patch. With a quick motion he tore the patch from his shoulder and threw it on the table. “Any chance I could get a more appropriate patch? I feel my contract with the IMC has run its course, and I would like a way to signify my new employment.”

Luna still couldn’t believe what had just happened. This human had just proclaimed himself now under her employ after having been given a mere ten thousand bits in both bags. Nothing about this made sense to the Princess.

“Yes, well, I’ll see what I can find.”

“Great. Is there anything else we need to discuss tonight?” Dillemuth asked cheerfully.

“There is,” Luna replied as she once again picked up her notepad. “The damage to Ponyville that you two caused. My sister and I feel it would be best if you two repaired the damage, and made amends with the ponies who worked hard to make the decorations and such.”

“Well, I happen to have just come into some money...” Dillemuth said as he slowly reached for the coins.

“Nice try. It isn’t about the monetary cost that needs to be addressed. This is especially important to you, Mr. Dillemuth. If you want to work for me, you will need to start making yourself more known to the general population. What better way than spending some time with national heroes. So, you will instead be working for the ponies who made what you broke,” Luna announced with a smug grin.

“So I’m now being used for slave labor?” Villarreal cried out.

“You were given coin. It’s not my fault that you refused it,” Luna countered. “So, starting in a day or two, both of you will be going back to Ponyville and meeting up with your respective supervisors. I will be sure to have them informed of what happened and what is being done to rectify the situation. A word of warning though, I expect you both to be on your best behavior. I can’t expect they will be all too pleased to see their hard work destroyed in the morning.”

Dillemuth rubbed the back of his head as he thought back to less than three hours ago. “Yeah... things kinda got out of hand.”

“Indeed they did. Now, I need to speak with Princess Twilight about this arrangement. These guards here will show you to your rooms for the night. Keep in mind, you may leave your rooms, but you will have a four pony escort at all times. Understand?” Luna asked with a pointed glare at Villarreal.

“Fine, though I don’t need a stupid babysitter...” the Militia pilot retorted.

“Your actions this evening prove otherwise,” Luna deadpanned.

“Fair enough. Wouldn’t want to get lost anyway,” Dillemuth replied with an understanding nod.

Luna sighed. “I’m glad one of you has a semblance of decency. Now, I must ask you to take your leave.”

With a polite nod, Dillemuth grabbed the purses and followed his four guards into the depths of the castle. Villarreal followed close behind, though much more irritated by the circumstances.

As soon as the humans were out of the room, Luna’s head hit the table with a thud as she let out a loud groan. Concerned, Twilight trotted up to the distraught Lunar Princess.

“Was your meeting that bad?” Twilight asked as she placed a wing on the dark alicorn.

“It was... difficult. I believe one of them was being belligerent just for the sake of being difficult, the other one was quite pleasant once I provided the reward from my sister,” Luna said with a sigh. “Have fun with those two.”

“What do you mean?” Twilight asked with a raised brow.

Luna chuckled. “I’m turning them over to you. After all, it was your town they wrecked. It’s only fitting that you oversee the punishment.”

“Oh...kay... Didn’t you say they were trying to kill each other just a few minutes ago?” Twilight asked with concern.

“Oh yes, they hate each other more than anything. But you’re Twilight Sparkle, getting them to be friendly should be easy for you, right?” Luna stated with a grin.

“Well, yeah. But this is different. I know nothing about them. How do you expect me to get them to stop when what we know is so limited?” Twilight asked with a hint of anxiety

“Well then I guess you’re about to make two new friends,” Luna replied with another chuckle.

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” Twilight deadpanned.

“Maybe a bit,” Luna teased. “In all seriousness though, I do think you’re the best pony for this job. Not only have you been rather successful in bringing ponies together who would normally be mortal adversaries, but you also have immense magical power and ability. Don’t be afraid to get rough with them; they seem to respond well to force.”

Twilight had to take a few deep breaths as she paced next to Luna. “I’m not sure about this. Appleoosa was a long time ago, and that was with two groups that I was familiar with.”

Luna rolled her eyes as she lifted her face off of the table. “True, but there are only two of these humans. Perhaps you should start with getting to know one at a time. My advice is to keep them separated until you are sure they will listen to you.”

“Why does this sound like you’re giving me tips on how to train an aggressive animal?” Twilight asked with a sigh.

“Because they are aggressive and they sometimes act like animals. I have to be fair though, all of their aggression seems to be directed at each other,” Luna replied with a shrug.

“I guess. You really think I can do this?” Twilight asked with a hint of optimism.

Luna deadpanned at the lavender alicorn. “Twilight, remember that one time you reformed the Avatar of Chaos?”

“...yeah?”

“Would you consider that to be a fairly difficult time in your life?” Luna continued.

“...yeah.”

“So what do you think would be more difficult? Reforming the avatar of chaos and disharmony, or getting two relatively intelligent animals to stop trying to murder each other?” Luna asked as she held up her hooves.

“But these aren’t just animals, didn’t you mention that these are aliens?!” Twilight exclaimed.

Luna dragged a hoof across her face. “Don’t remind me... Alright, think of it like this, the sooner you get them to stop murdering each other, the sooner you can drill them for all that alien knowledge.”

Twilight went wide eyed as a grin slowly formed on her face. “This is true...”

“Discord was harder to fix, and he didn’t really have a whole lot that you didn’t know. These humans though, might know things you never imagined. So how about it Twilight? Feeling up to the challenge?” Luna said with an encouraging smile.

“You’re right, if we can reform Discord then we can reform these two,” Twilight said enthusiastically as she trotted out of the castle.

Luna fought back a bout of giggles as the younger mare walked out. “Oh Twilight, I hope your enthusiasm survives this.”

Author's Note

Well here we are again. It's always such a pleasure.

Questions, comments, concerns, things you like, things you didn't like, haiku poetry, drop 'em bellow.