Adorable Infestation

by Chewed Pencil

Rating: teen
Tags: Queen Chrysalis, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Comedy
Length: 2876

Jameson White finds a special surprise in his cupboards.

Jameson White is a successful baker with his own shop in Welden. One day, he finds a filly Changeling Queen in his cupboards eating his food. Now he has taken it upon himself to raise Chrysalis as has own child.

Part of The Unexpected Pony Adoption Center which was inspired by a blog postby Harmony Charmer. Which we were graciously allowed to rip off completely...

Published 2014-06-26 15:40:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-26 15:40:03 UTC

The First Two Days

I yawned loudly. It had been a long day of baking and I was covered in so much flour by the end of it, that I might as well have been baked into a cupcake or something. Oh, right! I almost forgot to introduce myself. My name is Jameson White, I am only 26 years old and I have a thriving bakery called ‘Sugar and Spice’. I guess you could say that my life is rather boring, for a baker, but that is where you are wrong. Well, after today, that is.

The sun was starting its descent and I flipped the sign to closed. Pretty basic deal. The last employee, a blond haired girl by the name of Debbie Hayes, finally left the building, leaving me alone in the dark shop. Everything was clean, tidy, and best of all, organized! Flour was where it needed to be, the sprinkles and glaze were idly waiting in their places for the next day. I paused with the key in the door, trying to think if I forgot anything. Lights off, check; alarm set, check; delicious, all-natural ingredients secure, double check. Pleased with my mental checklist, I shut the glass door the rest of the way and locked it with a satisfying 'Clunk'.

The drive through Welden at twilight is an interesting experience. With the setting sun hitting the business offices just right, it makes it look like they are on fire. Which is funny because 911 has gotten call about it. Welden is a strange city to live in. Mostly for the fact that it is half city and half rural. The further out you get from the center, the less there is until you hit farmland. Welden even has its own apple orchard. Never been there, but I know it is there. I live in the suburban neighborhoods myself. Quiet, clean, and best of all is that nothing ever happens.

Oh, how I was going to regret that statement.

I pulled into the driveway of my lovely two story home, the light blue outer walls setting it apart from the rest of the street. It was my grandmother's place, and she gave it to me before she died. It technically has a garage, but it is full to the brim of old stuff my Grammy collected. Walking up the stone path, I kick a loose stone back into place and playfully step over a large crack in another. Carefully, I attempted to sneak up the creaky old stairs, only to fail as the last step creaked loudly. For a moment, I half expected Grammy to open the door with a large plate of her homemade snickerdoodles.

I guess you could say that she was a big influence in my life. She taught me how to bake and how to do a lot of things a parent is supposed to do. She was the reason I named my bakery 'Sugar and Spice', mostly because she had always wanted to open a bakery with that name, but never had the money to start.

I opened the door, the scent of cinnamon hitting me like a brick wall of memories. This was not a house, but a home. I was raised here, and by God's third testicle, I was going to die here. Wow, just listen to me. I sound like such a sap right now.

Putting the sappiness behind me, I placed the mail down on the table and grabbed the milk out of the fridge. There was one thing I always had after work. Sure, I didn't make them, but I always had a glass of milk and a few Oreos. Headed for the cupboards where the glorious cookies were stored in safety, I heard a strange buzzing sound followed by an 'Mmmmm'. I squinted my eyes and inched towards the offending sound. Something was in my cookie cupboard and it sounded like it was enjoying a nice snack. Slowly, I grabbed the knob and threw the door open to reveal the culprit.

I'll tell you this. I was expecting a rat or two, but instead I got what looked to be some sort of insectoid horse filly. At least, I found out afterwards that she was a girl. We both stared at each other for what felt like hours before she slowly took took one of my Oreos and ate it in one bite.

"Those are mine!" I yelled, reaching for the now scrambling bug horse. She jumped over my head and landed on the table, knocking the mail and the milk to the floor as she tried to dash across the polished surface. No matter how fast she ran, she couldn't get anywhere. Which meant that I could easily grab her and hold her up.

"No! No eat kikrii~!" She cried after a few minutes of flailing her holey hooves. Her bawling was starting to make me feel bad, so I let my feeble left parenting skills kick in.

"Woah, geez kid. I'm not gonna eat you. What do I look like, a monster?" I paused. "Don't answer that..." I smiled as a thought popped into my head. I gripped her under her barrel, my arm reaching along her underside. I picked up the fallen box of chocolatey goodness and got another glass, making sure to avoid the glass from its fallen brother. She was struggling in my grip, not quite reaching my fingers with her sharp teeth. I sat down and dunked a cookie in the milk, her eyes going wide.

"Noooo! You ruins it!" She cried, trying to grab the rest of the cookies. I placed them out of reach and brought the moist cookie to her mouth.

"It is good. See?" I ate the deliciousness right in front of her and rubbed my belly with a 'Mmmmmm'. I dunked another and held it for her. "You wanna tell me where you came from?" I asked as she nibbled, then devoured the snack.

"Krii I dunno..." She looked kinda down, so I bounced her in my arm and delivered a new cookie for her.

"Well then... How about we finish these off, and then you can stay with me till we figure out just where you came from. Maybe find your parents?" She looked up at me with big, teary eyes, at the verge of tears.

"I just wanna go hoooome krikiii~!" She cried into my shirt. It was at this moment that my heart broke for her. I promised her, and myself, that I would find a way to get her home. If not, then I would care for her as my Grammy cared for me. Just... maybe fewer cookies. Cause I may not be the pinnacle of physical fitness, but I have a heart of cookie dough. At least, that was what Grammy said when that bird I found died after I tried to make it better. I guess this was a similar situation.

It was starting to get late, and I called my only real employee, Debbie Hayes (Nice girl. Blond hair and a bubbly personality. I believe she is a single mother) and told her the store would be closed for the next few days because of family issues. She tried to remind me that I had no immediate family, but stopped herself and thanked me because her daughter had a recital in a few days and that she could now go to it. After that was taken care of, I took the sleeping filly and tucked her into my old bed, watching her grab Mr. Fluffy Buns (a plush cinnamon roll) in a death grip.

Much later, nearing midnight, my door cracked open and I could hear the faint thumping of hooves on the carpet. Like a cat, the filly lept into my bed and snuggled between my arm and my body, laying her head on my shoulder, and slipped into the covers. I wouldn't learn this for a few more days, but the reason she was cuddling me was because she was feeding off the compassion I was exuding. Not that I mind...

I awoke to a loud crash. Leaping from my sheets like Lazarus from his tomb, I rushed down, baseball bat in hand, ready to assail my would be assailants when I saw the filly on top of my Grammy's cabinet of priceless, yet fragile, china. I gasped, not that my Grammy didn't have like 20 sets of cheap china, but that wasn't the point. She was taking the dishes and smashing them against the wood floor. So, I did the thing Grammy did when I was in trouble. I loudly cleared my throat and gave that filly the most disapproving glare I could muster. It must not have been very good because she dropped another and stuck her tongue out at me. I frowned harder.

"If you are going to stay here, there are going to be some ground rules around here you are going to follow." She only frowned and blew another raspberry at me.

"Nu uh... You can't make krii!"

"Oh? Only good and well behaved girls get cookies..." That got her attention. You always hear the stories about how a misbehaving child gets spanked, but that never worked for me. Cookies were like smokes in prison. Currency of the young. Cookies were love, cookies were life. Cookies were the only thing worth living for to a child. At least, it was for me.

"No... Cookriis?" She said, her lip quivering.

"That's right. Only good little girls get cookies. Bad girls only get sent to their rooms." She looked down at the mess she made, her brow furrowed in deep thought. She was like this till I cleared my throat again.

"So?" I asked.

"I... I'm sowwy..." She said dejectedly. I smiled.

"You can have cookies if you apologize and promise not to make any more messes and be a good girl. Can you do that?" She nodded and I smiled. I had a feeling that was all I was going to get from her right now. I picked her off the cabinet. I grabbed a few cookies and let her eat those before taking her to my old room. I set her down and pulled out some of my old action figures from the closet.

"I am going to be gone for a bit, so I need you to behave. Can you do that for me, Chryssi?" Even to this day, I have no idea where that name came from. It was like I had always known it. She answered to it though, so I guess there was some small miracles.

She nodded and picked up one of my old G.I. Joes, Cobra Commander to be exact, and inspected it as I left the room. Alright, hopefully she wouldn't make any more messes before I get back. I went ahead and cleaned up the mess from earlier before I left for the store.

Ahh, Wal-Mart. How I love you and your great selection of baby diapers. I went ahead and picked up more necessities for toddlers. I wasn't sure if Chryssi was potty trained, so I went ahead and grabbed some diapers for her. No need to not have them when I needed them. I was busy looking over some of those toddler snacks/baby food when I heard a familiar voice.

"Look mommy! It's Mistah Jay!" Little Dakota said, tugging on her mother's sleeve. I froze and turned to the two blonds and awkwardly smiled.

"So, am I to believe that you have a kid of your own, or did it just appear out of nowhere?" Debbie said as she made her way over to me. I chuckled awkwardly.

"Kind of a long story..." I replied, rubbing the back of my neck.

"Well, I do like stories!" She smiled. I sighed. This woman had a one track mind. Once she wanted something, she would not relent until she got what she wanted. "I like stories too, Mistah Jay!" Dakota chipped in.

I slumped. "Well... It is more of a 'You-won't-believe-me-if I-told-you-so-I-have to-show-you' kinda story..." Debbie gave me a look that said 'Well?'. "Just come to my place later, I'll explain everything..."

"Alright... Its a date." She smiled and left the aisle, 'Kota waving at me. This was just great... I had to run into the one person I cannot say no to. Fuck My Life.

I arrived home and put away the groceries, and checked up on Chryssi. She was still in, I guess it is her room now, and playing with the action figures. Apparently Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow were being wed by Mr. Fluffy Buns, only to have the proceedings interrupted by Cobra Commander, who professed his undying love to Storm. It was then that I realised that she probably didn't know what a girl looked like, and this homosexual wedding could be normal because of that.

"Hey Chryssi..." I said, knocking on the door frame. "There is someone coming over soon that I need you to meet, so just stay in here until I call for you."

"Shadow-krii, how could you do this to us! I thought our love was absolute!" She replied in a falsetto female tone for Snake Eyes. "I'm sorry kiii, but my heart belongs to another..." Storm and Cobra Commander were pressed against each other while Chryssi made kissing sounds.

I left the room and shut the door, trying to forget that my childhood was being torn to shreds in there. I shook off the horrors and made my way to the kitchen where I began to prepare dinner, seeing as it wasn't just going to be me and Chryssi tonight. I was really nervous about tonight. Not because I was going to reveal Chryssi to Debbie, but rather that she called this a date. I'll be honest. I haven't been on a date in a loong time. My last date was my high school prom, and that totally bombed. No really, there was a bomb threat and we had to evacuate. It turned out to be a simple pile of bottle rockets taped to a timer. It wouldn't go off, but it looked the part.

Lasagna. She likes lasagna, right? I mean, who doesn't like lasagna! Except vegetarians. Oh gods... She isn't a vegan, was she? Should I make it without the sausage? But it tastes bad without it... Wait, I remember her eating a turkey sandwich a week ago. Whew, that crisis was averted.

I went ahead and put the lasagna in the oven and set it to cook. There was a knock at the door so I put away my apron and made sure my nice shirt was mess free before answering the door. Debbie was standing there in a little black dress. She looked... Well... Ravishing. She giggled and shut my mouth with a finger and walked into my home. I had the feeling she might like me. Just a hunch...

We both sat in the living room on my excessively fluffy blue couch. I was feeling rather clammy as we sat in silence. Debbie was the first to speak up.

"So, there was something you wanted to show me?" She asked. I chuckled nervously.

"Y-yeah. Just a moment." I walked to the stairs and called up to Chryssi. "Hey Chryssi, could you come downstairs for a moment?"

Chryssi stared down at me from the top of the stairs with a glare. "No... I don't wanna..." I gave her a pouty face.

"Please? I have cookies!" This caught her attention. She came down the stairs with a slow grace that told me that she didn't need cookies.

"Carry me krii." She said, sitting on the last step. I sighed and picked her up, taking her to the living room. Before I entered, I called out to Debbie.

"Alright. Can you promise not to freak out?" I asked.

"Jay... Why would I freak out over a child? It isn't like I have one of those too..."

"Don't say I didn't warn you..." I stepped out into the room with Chryssi in my arms. Debbie was silent for a moment before she cooed at Chryssie.

"Awww... She is adorable. Why did you think I would freak out over such a cutie?" I sighed and sat down next Debbie on the couch. Chryssie sat between us enjoying the head scratches.

The rest of the evening went by smoothly. Chryssi was kept in line with the promise of baked goods, the lasagna was a bit overcooked, and I was a nervous wreck. All in all, a good night. I was laying back on the couch, Chryssi in her new diaper sleeping on my chest(I'm glad I got Debbie to teach me how to change a diaper.), and looking out the window at the moon. Strangely enough, life was looking up. I saw a shooting star and silently wished that this could continue...

Author's Note

So yeah, I wrote most of this from my phone, so the formatting is a bit odd.

I have to thank Harmony Charmer for allowing us to go through with this idea. So yeah... Go check out the group.