Dash woke up as sun shined through a window landing on her face. She let out a groan as she sat up.
"This isn't my house," she said looking at the fancy sheets and no lotion on the night stand. She looked over and saw Spitfire sleeping next to her.
"Oh yea" she just remembered last night she "auditioned" for the wonderbolts. She got out of bed and could barely stand, Spitfire had stamina. Dash walked out into the kitchen and took note on how clean it was, the polar opposite of her kitchen. She let out a yawn and went to get a glass of gin and tonic, Dash has had a serious drinking problem ever since Angel Bunny beat and molested her.
"Arg I have a killer headache," she whined. She decided to look and see if Spitfire had any sort of tylenol or maybe ketamine.
"Hmm," Dash looked through her house until she finally found a bathroom. She opened up the drug cabinet and saw an arrangement of pill bottles, Spitfire had become a heavy drug addict ever since Angel Bunny shot and killed her parents. She looked until she saw a bottle with pills that looked like tylenol.
"Hmm I think three should do it," Dash opened the bottle and popped three pills then took a swig of her drink.
"Oh Dashie" called Spitfire walking down the hallway.
"Oh there you are," she smiled.
"What are you looking for?" she asked seeing the cabinet opened as well as a bottle of pills.
"I just had a headache so I took some tylenol," she said putting the cap back on it. Spitfire caught a glimpse of the pills and saw it was her acid.
"Umm how many did you take?" she asked Dash.
"Erm about three," and with that she closed the cabinet leaving Spitfire stunned.
"Dis motherfucker is gonna be so fuck up," she thought remembering the dealer (Pinkie Pie) said only half a pill will get you high.
"Well I should probably get going I have to feed Tank," Dash walked past her fire mane lover. Before Spitfire could protest she ran out the door and took flight.
"Oh shit I better go find her," Spitfire ran out the door than came back inside and cut a line.
"Oh yea that's the shit," she moaned as her eyes rolled back.
*Knock knock knock* Heavy knocking came from Twilights door.
"Oh shit its the feds!" she yelled dropping her blunt, "quickly Spike eat this!"
"Oh and the rest up stairs!" she yelled and Spike ran off up stairs swallowing the two blunts. Twilight walked over to the door and fixed her mane.
"Hello officers...... Dash," she said letting out a sigh of relief, she would never last in jail.
"Hey Twilight, do you have the new Daring Do book yet?" Dash walked in.
"It should be here tomorrow," Twilight said trying to get her heart rate back down. She looked over and saw Dash standing in place frozen. Dash's pupils tripled in size.
"Oh fuck," she said. She look as the book got off the self and began fighting each other. She ducked as a book flew at her and she then quickly took flight and stormed out of the door.
"What was that about?" asked Spike walking down the stairs.
"I have no idea," Twilight said getting some cash together.
"Where are you going?" Spike asked puzzled.
"Well I need some more kush," she said running out of the door.
Dash flew through the street dodging trees and flaming kittens singing satanic death country. Dash smacked into a building causing her to fell to the ground.
"Shit that hurt," she said.
"How ya doin Dash," asked a high pitched voice. Dash looked over to see Applebloom.
"Oh hi," she said to the filly, "what are you up to kid?"
"I was tryin to get mah cutie mark," she frowned, "I guess mah special talent ain't giving hoofjobs". Dash looked over to her shocked, she missed out on a free hoofjob 'dammit' she thought.
"Why you fly into a building?" asked Applebloom remembering when she tried getting her cutie mark in suicide bombing, she obviously failed.
"I think I took too many pills or something," Dash said still disappointed about missing that hoofjob.
"Oh well, you want any help getting to the doc?" asked Applebloom.
"I don't need a hospital," said Dash.
"Oh well ok, Oh wait did ya hear Spitfire got syphilis," Applebloom said causing Dash to perk up.
"On second thought yea I could get over there," Dash said with colour draining from her face.
"Eh yo what be shaking dog," said Tank flying down to Rainbow
"Tank you can talk?" questioned Rainbow Dash.
"Who are ya talkin to," Applebloom looked around for anyone Rainbow Dash might have been talking to.
"Eh G na you tripping dog you know what I layin down," Tank then pulled out a bong and lit up.
"Tank you cant do that in public," waved RD.
"Who the hell are ya talkin do?" Applebloom asked franticly looking for anyone talking to her.
"Oh umm nothing, I actually need to go to Fluttershy's place," Dash said while Tank listened to some tupac.
"Do you have to go there, Angel put safety pins in my,"
"Yes we do and just stop right there," she interrupted Applebloom knowing where it was going. Applebloom put her head down and followed Dash as she talked to noting she could see.
"Ey yo Angel 420 blaze it faggot," Fluttershy said to Angel getting a lighter to light her bong up. Angel stared waiting, he laced her weed with arsenic and was going to be rid of the only thing stopping his reign of terror. Fluttershy stopped when she heard a knock at her door, she laid down the bong and lighter which angered the Angel of death aka Angel Bunny.
"Eh yo we gon bone dis bitch or what yo?" asked imaginary ghetto Tank.
"No Fluttershy is way to fragile," she responded.
"What are yeh talkin bout?" asked Applebloom getting anxious wanting to know.
"Oh hey I wasn't really expecting guest" she said hiding behind her mane.
"Eh yo Flutters show me dat ass gurl," Tank said to which RD shot him a glare.
"Hey I was wondering if you now you're done with it?" asked Rainbow Dash starting to blush.
"Oh yea the cream," Flutter~~shit~~shy said. She got down to Appleblooms level.
"We have crabs, you can to if you want," she winked at the clearly underaged filly, Fluttershy was a foalphile but has yet to be caught, she would be screwed if anyone found the files.
"Just hurry up and get it!" Dashie washie snapped. Fluttershy ran off and got it.
"Don't ever tell anyone about this you little shit," RD threatened Applebloom. Fluttershy came back with the cream and some candy, she gave the candy to Applebloom and winked.
"Don't eat that," whispered Rainbow Dash having fallen for that trick 4 times at the local night club.
They where making their way to the hospital when it suddenly turned to night, at least for RD.
"What's going on?" she asked.
"What are you talkin bout?" Applebloom puzzled at the older slutty pony.
"Eh yo G I aint feelin dis you get what im layin down yo?" Tank was now tying a tourniquet around his arm pulling out some morphine.
"Bwahahaha it is I the great and power...... wait no I'm actually Nightmare Moon!" said Nightmare Moon falling from the sky landing on Kenny from south park. Dash gasped.
"Oh my god you killed Kenny! You bastard!" yelled Dash causing everyone around to stare at her.
"You cannot stop me!" laughed the even Luna persona.
"Oh yea?" she said grabbing Applebloom. She lunged Applebloom at the imaginary figure, causing her to go flying into a fine china stand because shit.
"NOOOO!" yelled Nightmare Moon as she blew up killing everyone in town in Dash's mind.
"You bastard!" yelled Applebloom crawling away form the stand of now broken glass.
"Get over it," said Dash walking to the hospital. While walking she accidentally bumped into a neck bearded obese pony.
"Oh sorry my bad," Dash apologized. The neck beard stared at her.
"What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Royal Canterlot Guards, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Queen Chrysalis's hive, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire Equestrian armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across all of Equestria and your address is being found right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hooves. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Canterlot Royal Guards and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo." he snapped at her. Dash nearly collapsed from the autism he gave off as well as the smell of body odor and failure.
"Eh you little fuckin shit ill fill yea full of so much lead you'll be used as a fuckin pencil im from the streets nigga," said Tank pulling a glock form his shell.
"What the fucks happening?" asked Dash.
"I'm not sure," said Applebloom melting and bursting into flames.
"Fuck," said Dash running past the smelly pony being followed by Applebloom.
"Hey meh friend," Applebloom was cut off.
"Hey listen you cannot try to get a 'necrophilia' cutie mark here for the last time!" yelled Nurse Redheart.
"That's not why am here ma'am," said the filly turning away from Dash's gaze.
"I think I took a few too many pills," said Dash throwing up on the counter.
Dash was given a room and got her stomach pumped and all that good stuff. She was later arrested and had to serve 3 days in jail for drug possession, Applebloom was also arrested and served 3 days for drug possession (evidence was planted on her but meh).
"Hey there girl," said a large buff mare walking up to Applebloom in the showers. She started crying, she knew where this was going.
"Why aint I in da juvy thing," she whined as the larger mare manhandled her. At the end of the day Twilight had to go and buy more pot, Spitfire forgot about helping RD, Rainbow Dash found out jail isn't that bad, Applebloom found out jail was extremely bad, and Angel shot and killed 14 people and framed Scootaloo who is now facing the death penalty for a crime she didn't commit.
