The commotion was a lot to bear. Ponies were in a herd surrounding something that was worth watching in awe. With packets held in the hooves of a majority of them from the morning grocery shopping, this scene was amiss from the daily activities.
I stand there trying to push past ponies. Some were shouting while some were busy whispering to one another in some strange language I didn't understand. I patted an elderly stallion's shoulders, but he didn't look at me; might be he ignored me. I, somehow adamant on finding out what the commotion was, took another step forward.
"Call the police?" somepony from the crowd said.
Police?
Why police?
Curious - I push forward. With a peek over the shoulder of the brittle looking stallion in front of me, I saw a body lying face first on the ground. A pool of blood was now covering the floor, almost engulfing the entire place. The thick red of the blood was now getting thicker, the mane completely soaked in it, a huge contrast to what the white of the cemented road was.
"Did she jump?" somepony asked from behind my back.
"Of course she jumped. These kinds of things are common these days, don't know what gets into the heads of these youngsters," somepony else replied.
"Yeah. Right," a third pony agreed.
"Don't know what their parents teach them? These kids think their lives are messed up. One fight and it's messed up?" somepony else, who is clearly judgmental, asked.
"Must have been a coltfriend problem."
"Could be."
"Might even be results. Some result was announced yesterday."
"Whatever it be, nothing can be serious enough to end your life like this. What can possibly go wrong with this almost 20 year old mare?"
"I don't know. But yes, I agree th-"
I cut them off. I didn't need to hear their conversation. Somepony died and they didn't even spare one second without judging?
The morning, which had seemed brighter a few moments ago, now looked dull. The mare's face was not visible and I wished I could go over and brush aside her mane.
The group was only getting bigger. From a distance a siren could be heard piercing the quiet of the windy winter morning. The city guard along with a medical van arrived and hurriedly shoved ponies away from he scene and marked it RESTRICTED.
I took a step forward to see what was happening. Somehow I couldn't let that mare go away from my sight. The mare was laid on the stretcher and was being pulled up from the ground. Her one wing was hanging down from the place, a beautiful silver ring shone in the soft light of the sun. I wish I could have it.
Something caught my ears - one particular conversation.
"What a waste. She should have talked to somepony, but these ponies, they just don't," a fairly young guy shook his head looking sad and pitied over the incident.
"Yes. Somepony could have helped; she should have tried," the other pony agreed with a shallow voice.
My ears were heating up from rage. How could they be so judgmental without seeing the other side of it? I was on the other side, and I could still see it; why can't they?
"No. Nopony could have helped. Nopony did when she asked for it. Nopony agreed when she said she wanted to visit a psychiatrist. Nopony asked her if she was okay. Nopony!" I shouted at them with all that I had in me.
Sometimes, it isn't the overflowing of emotions that forces your teeth to find solace in your leg. Sometimes, it's the lack of emotions that pushes you to find any type of emotions.
She did not have a self-harming problem, at least that was what she said to herself every time, most probably to console herself. Contrary to most ponies, actually screw that, everypony's beliefs, the nineteen year old did not dig her teeth into her leg because she was depressed. Or something along that line. She did it, because she had no idea what she was feeling. In fact, she couldn't feel anything at all, just something heavy yet empty at the same time. It scared her before, but it became an everyday occurrence.
She remembered that she wasn't always like this. Somepony had told her she did not owe anypony anything nor deserve to be act like that. Is she really free? Everything she held back, suddenly went haywire. No longer was she the mare who cowered, obeyed everyone's whims like a toy. No longer did she have to look at somepony's face to do something. She could do whatever she wanted. And she would.
There are countless scars upon her foreleg, but most ponies shrugged it off as injuries from intensive activities. The truth was much darker than that, and in fact much more simpler. She couldn't tell anypony. Everywhere lead to a brick wall right in her face. She messed with everything, just to feel something she could understand. She tried to smoke, to feel the exhilaration that all the teenagers had talked about. She tried to intake ecstasy to find the 'high' that was promised. Nothing worked. She tried socializing, but she was shunned, for everything she had done.
They didn't understand.
She was a kind-hearted mare deep down, but fate cruelly twisted her life and led her to be standing at the edge of some building. The wind swept past her, blowing her mane out of her face. It was just a normal day, with everypony milling around underneath her. Spreading her legs, she embraced the hard ground. No one understood. The building was soon demolished for accusations of being haunted by the mare.
Nopony.
Even after giving away my life, nopony actually cared about what I went through, they were still judging, they were still expecting.
Yes. That was me. That was my dead body. I jumped off the terrace of the high rise. I ended my life.
Just like always, nopony ever heard me. Nopony heard me cry.
I turned around and walked away. I didn't turn to take another look at the lifeless body. That silver ring though. It was something I wanted......badly.
