Playing Cards

by dark ganymede

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Crossover, Human, Main 6, Original Character, Trixie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Adventure, Sex
Length: 11269

Bruce Willis, Yu-gi-oh! and ponies. What else could you want?

-Cancelled- (If anyone wants to continue it contact me, but I can tell this isn't going to get any better.) Bruce Willis (Not the action hero mind you) somehow gets into Equestria, and finds that Yu-gi-oh cards have made it there too. Although the cards are very different in this new pastel world.

Published 2012-04-10 23:04:03 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-29 04:40:40 UTC

Chapter One

To everyone else in the household it was the average Saturday. But to Bruce Willis, it was the greatest day of his life. A brand new episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic would be showing in about ten minutes. Bruce was a brony of course and like many other bronies around the world he was a closet brony. It wasn't hard for him to hide his interests in the pastel coloured ponies as he was a closet fan of many other shows too. But one show in particular had a profound effect on him. Yu-gi-oh. An anime about a Japanese turn based card game. He had thousands of cards but eventually stopped playing with them. His friends grew out of the trend and poor Bruce had to assimilate with them.

After watching the new episode (which was exceptionally good in Bruce's mind) he decided to take a nap. Masturbating to ponies always took a toll on the poor sixteen year old. His head still had some dirty images of Twilight in a saddle or Luna in some panties and stockings, and he quickly fell asleep.

"Twilight, what in tarnation are we gonna do with this, this thing?"

"Oh! I know, lets through him a welcoming party!"

Bruce Willis opened his eyes, and saw the mane six before him. Their gaze from their wide eyes pinned him down, and he thought he was dreaming. Without a word from anyone, he felt the wooden floors of Twilight's library and saw he still had fingers, and he knew he was definitely in Equestria; no doubts about it.

Being a brony, Bruce had read a lion's share of fanfiction, and remembered all of the human in Equestria stories he had read. Every single character in those stories freaked out or did something stupid when they realized where they were. But Bruce was smarter then them, and much more perverse. Just looking at the ponies fueled his sex drive, and his eyes grew wide with lust. His blue jeans got tighter, and his mouth started to water.

With his sudden rage he knocked down Applejack with his bare hands. He turned to Pinkie Pie and grabbed her tail; swinging her like a baseball bat at Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Fluttershy. After knocking the three of them unconscious, Bruce tossed Pinkie to the side.

"That was....fuun." She said dazed. Her pink, poofy mane was now a matted mess of sweat.

"Stay away from me!" Twilight said as Bruce approached her. But he didn't listen. The gleam in his eyes conflicted with the glow of Twilight Sparkle's horn.

"I'm, I'm warning you!"

Bruce grabbed Twilight's horn and slammed her face-first into the ground. She let out an oof, but went speechless when she heard the un-buckling of Bruce's jeans.

"Oh no...." Twilight was quivering, and surprisingly, starting to become wet.

Bruce's blue jeans dropped to the floor with with a thud, and just before he slid his member into Twilight, a bright yellow beam struck him in the back and knocked him to the ground.

"Twilight, are you alright?" Princess Celestia asked. She looked at the odd creature that lay half clothed before her.

"Um yes I'm fine I suppose. Could be worse." She said halfheartedly.

"What about the others? Are they alright?"

"They should be fine Princess. Now what is that thing that attacked us?"

"In all honesty Twilight I have no idea. But regardless of that he or it did try to attack you. Therefore he shall be imprisoned until he regains consciousness."

At that moment two royal guard walked in, pegasi, and lifted Bruce up with their wings. His face was hung down, and his back was slightly disfigured from the Princess' spell.

"Report back to me later Twilight, and don't worry if you don't hear from me in a while. I'm sure you can already imagine what I'll have to deal with." She gestured to Bruce.

What a strange being. She thought. He has no magic yet he somehow got here. Interesting...

As the Princess and her guards left the library, Twilight could only look at her still unconscious friends. She knew they would be fine and would wake up momentarily, but she was still bothered by something. That feeling she had, right before that thing attacked her, she had never felt that before. It was indescribable.

"Ow. Hey Twilight you alright?" Pinkie Pie said. She had her head turned in her usual questioning way.

Her neck is probably even more flexible then Owloscious. Twilight thought.

"You saw what happened? And yes I'm fine. Just a little shaken."

"Yah I saw what happened! He was all GRRRRR and you were like AAHHHH and then Princess Celestia was like I'M A FIRIN MAH LAZAH! And now we're here."

"Heh, yeah.....listen Pinkie Pie....could we keep what happened between us?"

"Is something wrong Twi?" Pinkie's eyebrows were raised like sails.

"Its....its complicated. Just promise me you won't tell anypony. Not even Spike."

Glad he decided to go for walk before all this happened. Twilight thought.

"Don't worry Twilight! It's a Pinkie promise. Nopony will know. It's gonna be our little secret." She gave Twilight a quick, but sultry look.

"I sure hope so..."

As Bruce opened his eyes, he saw the Princess herself standing before him. She really was radiant, just like the sun.

"Well. What do you have to say for yourself." As Bruce heard her voice, he could only think of one thing.

"Please don't send me to the moon. Or molest me or touch me with bananas or anything else."

"Thats funny. You attacked six ponies and you're telling me what to do?"

"Well uh, heh funny thing is I thought this was a dream. See where I come from, you guys er ponies, are all fictional characters. And I know all about your society and everything if you don't believe."

"In all honesty, I do not believe you. Prove it."

And Bruce Willis did prove it. He explained the purpose of the Elements of Harmony, how they were created, the founding of Equestria and all the side memes he remembered that spawned from the show. It took Celestia a while, but she did eventually believe him.

"I see." She sighed deeply. "Well there are multiple worlds, as an alicorn I always knew that. I just never thought I would encounter someone from another world."

"Me neither." At least we're at some sort of understanding. He thought.

"Princess!" A royal guard burst into the room. He was sweating profusely, and his pungent odor filled the room.

"Yes?" Celestia said.

"You need to see this, now!"

The exhausted colt pointed to the window, and outside, thousands of square shaped objects were falling from the sky. Celestia turned to the creature she now knew as Bruce Willis.

"Do you know anything about this?" She asked.

"I swear, cross my heart and hope to die, stick a cupcake in my eye, I have no idea what those things are."

"Princess!" A second guard ran into the room. She had a sack that was filled to the brim with the square like objects. In her rush, she slipped on the royal carpet, and the bag fell, spilling its contents out on the floor.

"Hey I know those! Those are Yu-Gi-Oh cards!"

"Yu-Gi-Oh cards?" The ponies said in unison.

"Yeah!" He turned to the princess. "Where I come from there playing cards. Based of another T.V show. I have some in my pocket. Don't leave home without them."

Bruce eagerly whipped out his deck and showed to the ponies. It was average size, forty four cards.

"RRRROOOOOOAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR" The castle grounds shook, and Bruce lost his balance and landed on the ground. From the castle window he could see a large dragon. Not an Equestrian dragon, but a blue eyes white dragon.

"Whoa...."

"Sweet Celestia what is that thing!" The colt asked.

As he got up and brushed off his t-shirt and turned his head to the ponies. "That, is a blue eyes white dragon. I have one."

"You mean that creature is from your human card game?" Celestia gasped.

"Yes but the cards don't actually bring out dragons and monsters. That only happens in the anime!"

"Anime?" The guard mare asked.

"Its a type of cartoon show."

"Oh. What the buck is a cartoon show?"

How ironic.... Bruce thought.

Chapter Two

"Alright. Princess, I need you to make a public announcement." Bruce said.

"Well it will take some time for all my subjects to arrive here." Celestia said.

"No no.....they need to be here now! Pronto."

Celestia rolled her eyes, just barely out of the view of Bruce.

"Fine."

With a sigh, her horn glowed a golden yellow, and all ponies, either from Fillydelphia or Los Pegasus, were teleported within earshot of the princess. Thousands of ponies were crammed into the small town of Ponyville or the skies of Cloudsdale. Most of the space was taken up by one thing, the Blue Eyes White dragon. Everypony got used to it eventually, after they realized it wasn't going to eat them.

Celestia walked up to her balcony, and Bruce followed; the crowd went silent, and all eyes and wings were on the princess.

"My faithful subjects," Her voice rang across all of Equestria, with an even tone of authority. "For those of you who have not come here before, welcome to Ponyville and Cloudsdale. Now, as I'm sure many of you know some strange things have happened in the past few minutes. I am going to shed some light on the events that have brought you here today."

"YEEEAAAAH!"

Bruce looked up at the sky and saw a muscular pegasus flexing his arms.

Ah, good ol' Roid Rage. He kept his thoughts to himself however, as the princess was not amused.

"That dragon you see there, is known as a Blue Eyes White dragon. And this creature right next to me, is a human."

"SQUUEEEEE! I TOLD YOU BON BON! HAH!"

"If you are all done with you needless outbursts, I would like to finish. According to this human....Bruce, these monsters are from a card game. A human card game. Now he tells me the beasts are harmless, and are controlled by anypony who summons them with their respective card. They will not attack the towns in anyway, shape or form so have no fear."

The crowd let out an audible sigh of relief.

"However," Bruce started. "These cards are for entertainment purposes. And you should all enjoy them. Now that said, let me explain the rules."

Glad these are Yu-Gi-Oh cards not Pokemon cards. That would take hours to explain. He thought.

"Ok, anymore questions?" Bruce asked.

"Yes just one." The voice came from a small filly who was standing on another ponies back. "If the Yu-Gi-Oh monsters are summoned, and none of us knew how to summon them before, who summoned the dragon?"

"Thats a good point. Any pony know who did it?" He shouted.

"OHOHOH I do! Me me me me!" Pinkie Pie could be seen bouncing in the front row of the crowd.

"Pinkie, you summoned the dragon? How?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Well, when I'm bored I like to go peek in on other dimensions and stuff and one time I saw one with the same cards! I was only there for a few seconds but I heard them say 'I summon you! Blue Eyes White dragon!' So I tried that and it worked."

So there are other universes. The princess was right! If only I landed in the Lucky Star universe..... Bruce thought.

"Ah. No harm then. Has everypony got their cards?" All the ponies shook their heads.

"Good. These cards are going to be part of your lifestyle from now on as I've just told you. Go forth, and duel!"

The crowd stomped their hooves in applause and Bruce made two peace signs, and thrust his hands into the air. Celestia smiled.

"Thats all for now everypony. In about two seconds you will all be returned back to your hometowns. Farewell."

Celestia's horn turned into a bright gold once more, and a large majority of the ponies below disappeared.

"Bruce, considering your'e our only expert on this....game, would you mind teaching Twilight and her friends how to master it? It is the least you could do for them." Celestia said.

"Of course."

"Well well, looky here." Applejack said.

"Yes I'm back." Bruce sighed. "Look I'm sorry for what I did before and such. The princess said she spoke with you mares already so lets get this over with."

"I don't know about A.J, but those cards look sick!" Rainbow Dash said.

"Yes. Anyway, I explained the rules before and you all know them pretty well, but in order to win at this game; or any other game for that matter, you need skill. But first, I need to see where your skill levels stand. Mine is over....heh nine thousand."

"Whats the scale go up to?" Twilight said, un-phased by Bruce's vain attempt to lighten the mood.

"That was a joke. It goes up to eleven." Bruce laid out his deck on the floor, and gestured to the ponies to sit. They complied, some more willingly than others. But their eyes all grew wide when they saw the fantastical cards that covered most of the floor.

"Wow. Thats a pretty impressive collection you have. Its quite shiny too. Do you think I could use the dresses they're wearing?" Rarity asked.

"You mean the outfits on the card characters? Why not. People do that all the time where I come from."

"Really? And how do they look?" Rarity's eye for fashion was kicking in.

"Well they look nice. Some are even better then the picture on the card. Maybe even better then some of your dresses Rarity." He mused.

"Well! I don't see how a human can produce truly artistic and fashionable clothing, but-"

Spike turned to Rarity, along with everypony else and her tone immediately changed.

"I suppose I'll just have to better then I suppose." She blushed, and Bruce grinned.

What an adorable marshmallow.

"Alright, Twilight, lets say somepony summons a monster with four hundred attack points, and two hundred defense points in attack position. You have a monster with six hundred attack points and five hundred defense points. What do you do?"

"Play a magic card from your deck, and set at least one trap card. Then attack the enemy's monster. Simple."

"Excelent! I didn't doubt you for a second Twilight." Finally someone who's around my skill level. Bruce thought. "Fluttershy, what would you do when you first summon a monster?"

"Um...put it face down in defense mode?" She whispered.

"Good! Now what about the second monster you summon?" Bruce asked.

"Um....the same thing?"

"Ok..a bit odd but could work. What about later on in the game?"

"Put them all in defensive mode? Sorry I'm not very good at this..."

"Its alright Fluttershy...." Bruce sighed. "If it wasn't for your cuteness......OK! Everypony listen up. You can't be afraid to attack. Attacking is the only way you can win. That said, defense and magic cards and other tactics are just as effective. Understand?"

"Yah I got this. Easy peasy dragon quesy." Spike's confidence brought Bruce to smile.

"Ok Spike," Bruce turned his head to the rest of students. "I want you all to pay close attention, this is how you duel."

With speed that rivaled even Rainbow Dash, he swiped up his deck from the floor and reshuffled all the cards. Spike grabbed his deck from the from his bed and winked towards Rarity.

"I challenge you, lets duel!" Spike said.

Bruce could only smile devilishly. Everypony in the room knew he was hiding something, but Spike was far too blind with confidence.

They each drew six cards, and Bruce motioned to Spike to go first.

"Oh no its fine, after you." He said. Humans before dragons.

"HAH!" Bruce's hearty laugh sent an eerie chill through the room.

Spike's smile dropped.

"Heh, heheh, hehe, hahah, HAHAH!" Bruce had his face hidden behind his cards, but he quickly flipped them to show Spike and the others. "You see these six cards? One is an ordinary trap card....but these five cards, these are the five pieces of Exodia."

He placed the five holy cards on the ground and they light up. Then out of all the pieces, the mighty Exodia himself appeared. How he managed to fit inside the library was unbeknownst, especially to Twilight.

"When Exodia is summoned, its GAME OVER MAAAAAAN!"

Bruce pointed to Spike dramatically with one finger, and a ball of pure, unadulterated energy formed in Exodia's palms.

"WWOOOOOOHHHHOOOOOO!"

Exodia unleashed his limitless energy, and the beam ripped through the library walls. Spike took the full impact of the blast, and Rarity just stared. The monster returned back to its respective cards, and the smoke cleared. Spike had lost all eight thousand life points.

"Pretty impressive eh?" Bruce said, his face beaming with pride.

"My books!" Twilight said.

"Oh. Uh sorry about that. Heh you can uh...you can replace them right? Right?"

"I suggest you run mister." Applejack said.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" Twilight screamed as her mane burst into flames.

"FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" Bruce shouted at the top of his lungs, as he ran away from quite literally, flaming mare.

"That Exodia was pretty crazy, but nothing is crazier then Twilight." Spike lectured.

"What was that!?" Twilight's head whipped around and she gritted her teeth.

"Bruce wait up!" He shouted.

Chapter Three

Bruce and Spike looked up at the sky, the sun was starting to set and it turned the grasslands of the forest to a golden sea. But neither Bruce nor Spike were concerned with the beauty of nature, they were concerned about how to get back home.

"Hey do you think Twilight has cooled down?" Bruce snickered.

"I don't know, she was quite a hot head earlier." Spike replied.

They both laughed in unison, and heard howl from the nearby woods.

"I think we should get back." Spike said.

"Agreed."

The pair cautiously crept away from the fringe of the forest, turned to head back.

"You know Bruce, you're not a bad...human thingy."

"Thanks. You're a pretty cool dragon too. Not that I'm a dragon though."

"Heh, tell me, how did you get Exodia on the first draw?"

"Simple. I cheated. Nopony, actually, nobody draws the best cards on the first try." He smiled and looked up at the clouds, which were starting to transition into stars. "The whole point was to test Twilight's patience."

"Test her patience?" Spike asked as he looked up from the ground and displayed the puzzled look on his face.

"I wanted to see how long it would take her to get mad, or rather how mad she could get. Like stuff that would make her mad basically."

"Oh ok. But why?"

"Its complicated."

"Nothings complicated when you look at it a certain way. Twilight told me that."

"Fair enough, I like her. I, a human, like a mare. I feel like a complete creep for saying that."

"Nothing wrong with it. I like Rarity and she likes me I think, and everything works out fine."

"Right. I'm not sure if she likes me though, thats the whole thing. Considering I'm here, I thought I would have the confidence to ask her to dinner or something by now."

"Well, there was this plan I had to take Rarity out on a dream date. I could give it to you."

"You'd do that?"

"Yeah. I'm too young to drink alcohol anyway."

So it's that kind of plan. Bruce thought. Kid's pretty chill.

As the two schemers walked up to the library door, Bruce's stomach dropped violently. The now black skies helped to hide his nervousness.

"Jeez, it's like my stomach is playing dubstep."

"Dubstep?"

Bruce turned to Spike and mouthed a never-mind. He took in a deep breath, and slowly, brought his trembling had to the door and knocked. Twilight peered at the door from her book, is Fluttershy back? she thought. She unraveled her hooves and stood up from the floor. Her horn tingled while she walked up to it, sensing the powerful magic from her mentor. Using her magic, the door glowed and swung open; and her face dropped.

"Oh. Its you two." She said.

"Yeah sorry about the door and everything." Bruce blushed and glanced towards Spike. "I see you fixed the library."

"Yes...thanks to Princess Celestia who also informed me that you have no place to stay.....and you'll be staying here."

"Well then," Spike broke the silence. "I'll leave you two alone. I'm sooooo tired from walking in the woods all day so I'm going to sleep for a really long time. Goodnight."

Spike walked past the two, and gave a nonchalant wink to Bruce, and a grin to Twilight. Twilight responded with an uneasy smile in return. She looked back at Bruce who was scratching the back of his head. She rolled her eyes, much like her mentor, and went back to reading her book.

"So, uh what are you reading? You seem to be pretty into that book."

Buck. She thought, and snapped the book closed. "Nothing nothing, nothing at all! Just uh, spell book. Gotta study you know? Eh heh..." Her eyes started to shift rapidly from left to right, and she tossed the book into one of the shelves. Unfortunately for Twilight, Bruce saw exactly where the book landed. It was the only black book in that shelf after-all, although she could move it later.

"Ah. Okey dokey lokey then, can you show me where I'm staying exactly?" Pinkie Pie popped out of nowhere, causing Bruce Willis and Twilight Sparkle to flinch.

"Celestia! Don't scare me like that Pinkie." Twilight said, still gasping for breath.

"Fiiiinneeeee. So, where am I staying huh!?"

"Pinkie! What did we discuss earlier?" Twilight lectured to her good friend.

"I know silly filly! Just making sure you remember the plan. Hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge? Looots of 'nudge nudge' if you know what I mean." Pinkie Pie smiled in her deviously adorable way.

"Get out Pinkie." The purple mare was definitely not in the mood for nonsense, Bruce and Spike knew that as a fact.

The pink mare bounced out of the library smiling and winking to Bruce, and Twilight shut the door and sighed.

"Sorry about that. You see that room up there? That's Spike's room. Next to that is my room. You'll be sleeping in there."

"What about you?"

"I'll be sleeping....with you...." Her cheeks turned to a bright red, along with Bruce.

"Oh. Oh! Uh yeah hah, sure."

"Now before you get all excited, I have a few more things to tell you. Since you wear clothing the Princess decided to have Rarity make dresses for you."

"Nice." Trollestia indeed. He thought.

"You can even tell her what style you want it in. Just don't be too demanding."

"Right right, she can get stressful at times I'm guessing?"

"Yes. Now I can't believe I'm saying this, but lets go to sleep."

"Yeah, sleep." Thats some pretty heavy innuendo Twi. He thought.

Phase one of your plan had better work Pinkie. Twilight thought about the various things that could go wrong with the plan.

They both slowly, and awkwardly, walked up the staircase to their new room. Bruce went in on the right, while Twilight went on the left. They looked at each other for some time before Twilight blinked and said good night. As the night went on, both the strange otherworldly human, and the super-intelligent mare fell asleep. With sleep comes dreams, and Bruce was lost in the wonderland of Lucky Star, while Twilight was dreaming of spending time with her old doll smarty pants.

Oh smarty pants, how I love you so. She smiled, and unconsciously, placed a single hoof upon her "bed fellow's" shoulder.

Chapter Four

The inside of the Library was surprisingly warm to Spike, Twilight and Bruce Willis. But on the outside, it was cold and dark, particularly for one unicorn. Her name is Trixie Lulamoon. She along with the rest of Equestria had heard the news of these new cards, and was awestruck by the power they displayed. As soon as she had seen them, she wanted to have that power. To be the best dueler in all of Equestria. After all, it was the only way she would ever regain her fame, after being humiliated by that sniveling Twilight Sparkle.

She had no sense of style, no cape, no hat, nothing a real magician would have. But Twilight did have something that Trixie would always long for...friends. The blue colored mare looked up at the moon, and its light reflected off of her mane, causing it to stand out from the rest of her body. It was one of the few things anypony knew about her, and in her mother's opinion, it was her most beautiful trait. Trixie removed her signature hat, and pulled out her deck from inside it. She rummaged through her thirty (or was it forty?) cards and pulled out her favorite one.

"Dark Magician. The ultimate wizard in terms of attack and defense." She read aloud.

The card had a special foil on it, that seemed holographic in nature when it was in the light. But in the moonlight, the magician stood even more so. Just like Trixie. Maybe this is what connected her to the card, an unspoken mutual feeling of understanding. The card was not in mint condition however, far from it, and it had to gone through some hard times. Just like Trixie. It could be fate, that brought Bruce into the world of Equestria and brought Trixie to find that one specific card, or it could be a simple coincidence. In either case, each event was meant to be.

"Ribbit."

"Who dares to disturb the great and powerful Trixie!?"

The blue mare spun around horn lit, and confronted the daring frog. Despite the deadly spell Trixie had in her horn the rather small amphibian did not flinch; it simply stared at the mare's glowing mane.

"Ah, so you are a worshiper of the great and powerful?"

"Ribbit."

"The great and powerful Trixie takes that as a yes. Kneel before Trixie, and she shall spare you."

The frog bounded from the grass, and landed on her nose. She started pounding her nose with her hooves to through the wet and slimy beast off her, but it managed to stay attached to her, and after a few more irritated minutes, it finally crawled under her hat.

"So you have submitted yourself to the great and powerful Trixie eh? You will serve her every wish and whim understand?"

"Ribbit."

"Good."

Trixie smirked at her new servant. Sure it was an extra mouth to feed, and she barely had any food herself; it was still worth it to her. She lifted the card with her magic, and slid it back under her hat, along with her new "pet".

I wonder if Twilight has any pets. As that thought graced her mind, she looked back up to the stars and moon. The frog peered out from her hat and looked right at her. She was a bit startled, but chuckled. She would have to come up with a name for it eventually......

Twilight's crusted eyes snapped open, and realized it was still night time. She knew there was no reason for her to be awake now, she certainly didn't have anything to study. But something was amiss, she had no idea what it pertained to, it was a hidden discomfort. Small in the grand scheme of things, but large enough to be recognized.

"Bruce?" She mumbled. "Bruce."

Still no answer.

"Probably nothing." She yawned as she closed her eyes.

Silly unicorn. Did she really think I was going to sleep? I'm in Ponyville! Gotta sight see at some point. Bruce thought.

It would only be a few more hours before it was daytime again, and Twilight would certainly be awake then. He shut the door ever so gingerly, and started to sprint towards the center of the town. The houses were uniform, but he knew which pony lived in which house. He knew everything about the town, the entire world even. Out of context, knowing about an entire world could become utterly boring, but to Bruce it was quite magical. After all, what better way to see what was "canon" and "fanon" then experiment it for yourself?

He started to hum the theme of a popular myth busting show, and jumped as high as he could into the air.

Nothing different gravity wise. Aw hell what am I even doing. I should be doing something productive, like homework. Wait nope, I'm in Equestria. Huh, I really am in Equestria.....

Bruce stood there, finally comprehending his situation. There was no way back that he knew of, or anypony knew of. He couldn't even comprehend how he had gotten there in the first place. Luckily for him, it didn't bother him in the slightest. Here he was free.

"Whatcha' thinking bout Willis?"

Pinkie Pie's head was somehow level with Bruce's, and she had the appearance of a baby giraffe.

"Oh uh nothing."

"Nothing! Nopony thinks of nothing. Thinking of nothing means you're thinking of something, which means nothing is something, so you have to be thinking of something or else if you weren't thinking at all you would be dead! And that wouldn't be any good. You'd miss the tournament, all my parties, oh yeah I haven't given you any parties yet! Anyway dying isn't good. Unless you dye your hair! I heard Rainbow Dash does that but I think she's born with her mane you know?"

"Wait what tournament?" Bruce asked.

"Oh the Princess just announced she was going to host a tournament. It's really just part of her re-election campaign though."

"The Princess gets elected? I'm pretty sure that's un-true Pinkie."

"Well duh! Everypony knows that! Anyway its later on today in the afternoon hope you can make it! Adios amigo! Arriba arriba!"

Pinkie flew off, leaving behind a cloud of dust. As she went to tell all her friends, and everypony in between, about the tournament Bruce headed back to the library. The sun was just starting to rise, and it's individual rays pierced the sky. He reached the door which was still unlocked, and snuck inside.

"So where did you go so early?"

Bruce cringed at the door and his body was ready for another long run. "Oh hey Twilight," He stuttered. "Just went out for a walk."

"Haha, it's just me."

"Spike?" Bruce asked. "You sounded just like Twilight Sparkle!"

Spike walked out from under the carpet and turned the lights on.

"Guess I really got you good. Pinkie Pie came by earlier and woke me up. She rambled about some tournament and twenty other things. She said she saw you outside so I figured it would be fun to scare you when you came back." Spike said.

"Well you got me. How did you copy her voice?"

"When you take orders from Twilight long enough, you know exactly how she sounds." He sighed. "But I still like her as friend." He smiled.

"I hope it's only as a friend." Bruce said jokingly.

They both laughed, and hidden behind her bed sheets, so did Twilight.

Chapter Five

"So The Princess is holding a tournament? She never told me about it." Twilight said.

"Pinkie Pie came by earlier she was supposed to tell you but you were still asleep. So I just took the message." Spike said.

"These eggs are pretty good Spike." Bruce complimented. "Much better then the ones I had back home."

"Ach. Haaacck." Spike wheezed.

"Spike are you ok?" Twilight asked.

The baby dragon's face had gone from its natural green, to a more sinister blue. With another cough he belched out a flame and a scroll. Twilight used her magic and opened it.

"Glad you're not choking." Twilight mused. "Dear Twilight Sparkle, by now you must have heard about this dueling tournament. Its been a while since anything like this has happened. Ever since the pie incident with Soarin we couldn't exactly host food eating competitions anymore. Regardless of those past events this one will be splendid. It will take place in three of the major cities of Equestria, with the final four rounds in the Canterlot dueling center."

Twilight looked at Bruce and raised an eyebrow.

"Never told me anything about a dueling center. Just keep reading." He said.

"Alright. The winner of these matches will receive private lessons in any subject of the winner's choice! I like the sound of that." Her face was illuminated with joy.

Egghead. Bruce thought. Not in a sinister way however, in a playful way.

"I have also sent you this letter to remind you that the tournament starts in five minutes! Do hurry or you will be eliminated along with Spike and your human friend! Ah! Lets go lets go!" Twilight shouted.

The mare grabbed her deck from the bookshelf, and magically threw the table under the rug.

"Twilight relax. Can't you just teleport us or something?" Bruce reasoned.

"Oh." Her face became a bright pink. "I guess I could. We don't have enough time for your new clothes though."

"No problem. Lets see, deck check, well, I'm ready to go." He said confidently.

"Should we bring that letter Twi?" Spike asked.

"I don't think so. Just put it back in your bed or something." She said.

The freshly sent letter levitated to Spike, and he mumbled something under his breath before shoving it in his pillow. He walked back towards Twilight and Bruce, and in a flash of purple light they disappeared. In another flash, they warped back to the Canterlot grounds. The festivities had yet to start, but everypony in Ponyville was there.

"Last call for entries!"

The three of them rushed past their friends to get to the unfamiliar voice. Sitting at a table was a dark blue unicorn with a guitar cutie mark.

"Looks like you just made it. Just put down your name and race." He said with a monotone voice.

"Race? What do you need that for?" Twilight asked.

"The games are separated by divisions. For example, you'll be in the unicorn division, that dragon will be in the....dragon division? And the human will be in the human division? Hang on you three."

Spike and Bruce looked at each with equally puzzled faces. Neither one had any idea of what was going on.

Twilight filled out the form and wrote her name down, and the gamekeeper came back.

"Ok," He read the paper and mouthed the purple unicorn's name. "Twilight Sparkle." He pointed to a corner off in the distance with a hoof. "That is the unicorn section. This," He pointed directly at a card attached to a string necklace, and levitated it on the mare. "This is your ticket. It will be checked before and after matches to signify a win, loss or tie. Do not lose your ticket. Do not make illegal copies of your ticket for distribution. Lastly, on no circumstance, do not, do, not eat your ticket. Understood?"

Twilight nodded her head in agreement. Thats odd. Why would anypony eat a ticket? She thought.

"Now back to you two. Due to your.....features, I'm afraid I can't let you in. There isn't a dragon or human bracket in Ponyville. There is one in Fillydelphia however that allows dragons.....but none for humans." He said solemnly.

"Are you kidding me!? I can't go all the way to Fillydelphia!" Spike shouted. He placed his hands on the colt's table, and stared into his eyes.

Bruce brushed the irritated dragon aside and approached the colt.

"Look here pal.....I don't care about your rules. I do care for your safety. Now, I'm sure you care for your safety too am I right? And it would be a shame if your safety was......threatened correct?"

"I'm sorry but rules are rules. No matter what you do to me." He said.

"Alright." Bruce smiled. "Fluttershy can you come here for a moment!"

The timid mare flew in for once, and landed gracefully, careful not to disturb any earth worms that may have gotten in her path.

"Um yes?" She said softly.

Bruce went up to the mare whispered in her ear, and pointed to the colt.

"Are you sure it won't hurt him?" She asked.

Bruce nodded to her, and winked at Spike.

"Ok then....." Fluttershy took a deep breath of air, and looked right at the colt.

At first he didn't flinch. But then as Fluttershy's eyes widened, he started to rock back and forth uneasily. Then came the sweat. In Fluttershy's lifetime, she only had to use the stare on rare occasions, but over the years it became more and more deadly. The colt started to shake much more noticeably now and his eyes were becoming quite shifty. But after a few moments, the second phase of the stare kicked in; the freeze. He couldn't move his joints, and his eyes locked with Fluttershy's. If he hadn't run to the little foal's room earlier he would have leaked his nervousness all across the ground.

Fluttershy started to approach the table, eyes still targeted on the colt like lasers, and her eyes grew. She was initiating part three of the stare, the mental shutdown. The cream colored mare had total control over the stallion.

"Now, what do you have to say?" She said.

"Here are your tickets don't lose your copies of illegal tickets enjoy your meal."

"Good. Hope you two do well in the tournament!" Fluttershy said in her normal voice as she flew off to the pegasi division.

The two were then escorted to a room filled with earth ponies. There were two sets of doors, one was a normal wooden door, and the other appeared to be made of glass.

"Hiya Spike!" Pinkie Pie said. "Oh and hi Bruce! You guys excited? This is gonna be so much fun!"

"Yeah I'm pretty pumped!" Bruce said.

"Ah' guess that means your'e excited?" Applejack asked.

Bruce nodded his head.

"Heck I'm pumped too then. So is Applebloom and Big Macintosh." She grinned.

"Applebloom is entering?" Bruce questioned.

"Yeah. Trying tah get their cutie marks in dueling." She rolled her eyes.

With a click, the glass doors slid open and revealed an oasis of dueling rings and waiting areas. The entire labyrinth was made of nothing but glass, and there were dozens of building sized monitors.

Whoa......this is awesome...... Spike thought.

The ceiling was made up of nothing but florescent lights, which had just started to dim. The entire complex was dark for a few seconds, and the monitors slowly lit up. They revealed a live image of Princess Celestia standing behind a podium, in her bedroom.

"Welcome everypony," Her voice boomed through the building. "To the first annual Yu-Gi-Oh games. We hope you will enjoy your time at the Dueling Grounds. The rules of the card game have already been explained to you, so we shall tell you the rules of the tournament, and the Dueling Grounds. When you are not in a match, you are expected to be in one of the waiting areas, or on your way to your next match. Dueling outside of the designated areas is forbidden, and will result in immediate disqualification. Be sure to keep your ticket on your neck at all times, and do not consume it. If you miss your match, you will also be eliminated from the games."

The monitors changed from the shady image of Celestia to three large brackets. One for each division.

"These brackets have your name, as well as your opponent's name. These brackets will be updated after every match, and will be displayed for the entirety of the games. Be sure to remember your place in these brackets. There will be fifteen winners in total, and these winners will move on to the Dueling Grounds in Appleloosa. We hope you enjoy your stay at the Dueling Grounds."

The lights went back up, and as promised the brackets stayed. These brackets were different from the average bracket, as they had no names whatsoever. Nopony knew who they would be facing. With another click, nine names appeared on the monitors; two in each bracket.

"Attention duelists, the three matches are about to begin. Please make your way to your match, or the waiting areas." It was Princess Luna's voice this time. "......Thats not funny Tia."

Unicorn Circuit
Flim Vs. Fleur de lis

Pegasi Circuit
Thunderlane Vs. Scootaloo

Earth Pony/Dragon/Human/Luna smells Circuit
Silver Spoon Vs. Bruce Willis

Chapter Six

"Looks like you're up first partner. Go get'm." Applejack said supportively.

"Right." Bruce said.

He started to make his way through the garden like paths of the dueling grounds, and made it to the earth pony ring. There was one stallion in a checkered uniform who stood in the center of the square. Silver Spoon was already opposite Bruce, and eager battle.

"Duelers, show me you decks."

As the gamekeeper spoke, three of the monitors produced a live feed of the different circuits. Bruce pulled out his deck, and it instantly flew to the gamekeeper who shuffled his cards, and Silver Spoon's cards. He glanced at the screen and saw himself looking at himself. He looked just like a cartoon character, in fact he was indeed a cartoon character at this point.

The ground beneath him lit up, and table formed in front of him. It too was entirely glass, and he noticed that Silver Spoon had one too. In the center of the square, as well as in the other circuits, a holographic field appeared. It was a larger version of the smaller "command center" that was in front of Bruce. It was set up just like he remembered it, five spots for the monster cards on top, five for the trap, magic, and spell cards on the bottom, and four spaces for the fusion deck, graveyard, out of play area, and lastly, the deck. There was however, an additional row for any cards you draw.

"Both decks have been shuffled, and no cards have been added, or removed from either deck." Bruce's deck slowly, and ominously floated to its proper place on the table. His side of the field lit up, as did Silver Spoon's. "Before the game is played," The keeper spoke directly to the large crowd of earth ponies, "A bit shall be tossed to determine which player has the first move." He pulled out a shiny new bit, and flipped it; the piece landed on heads, and the keeper spoke once more. "Silver Spoon has the first move, the game is now in play."

A roar of cheering came from all circuits, as the first duel in history began.

Alright Bruce. You've done this before. Stay confident, and think before you act. He drew six cards, and placed them on the bottom row.

Great. First round and I have to play against an expert. What luck. Silver Spoon thought. She drew six cards, and placed them on the bottom row. The crowd went completely silent.

She placed one card face down in attack position, and two cards in the second row.

"I end my turn." She said.

She's bluffing. She threw those two cards down too fast. Lets see.....ah good ol' Buster Blader. I'll save you for later.

"I summon winged dragon guardian of the fortress #1, and attack your face down card." Bruce said.

Buck! I thought he would go for defense.

Silver Spoon's card flipped over, and revealed a Gemini Elf card. 800 attack, 2000 defense. The field showed the image of her helpless elf, as the 1400 attack point dragon barreled toward her, and slashed it into glass shards. It flew back to its rightful place on Bruce's side of the field.

So even the monsters are glass interesting. Well, did 600 damage to her life points so now she has....3400 left. Easy.

The crowd of ponies cheered at the sight of destruction.

"I end my turn."

Ok just relax relax. Just a little damage you'll be fine. Silver Spoon drew another card. Ugh! Another useless spell card. I'm an earth pony not a unicorn. Whatever the more the merrier.

Another card went into the second row.

Hmm.....she could be setting up a chain. Bruce thought.

He drew a card, and sent it right to the field.

"I place a card in defense mode face down, and one in the uh, second row? I end my turn." He said.

"What is that row called anyway?" Silver Spoon asked. "Just second row?"

"I think so. I thought Celestia said it in the rules."

"No she didn't." She turned to the monitor. "Princess Celestia! Whats the name of the second row!?"

"Omomnom. Oh." The muffled voice of the Princess could be heard. "You camf coll it dah spefial dow."

"What?" Bruce asked.

"She said you can call it the special row." Luna's voice rang through the screen. "She's busy eating. Pig."

"Ok. The game has returned to play." The gamekeeper said.

Hmmm lets see... ah! This soul exchange thing just might work. It may be a spell card but it's worth a try.

Silver Spoon placed the spell card down, and Bruce's dragon burst into shards of glass. The thousands of pieces gracefully floated over to the opposite side of the field.

"Now, with your monster as tribute I summoned skull. I mean, summon summoned skull." Silver Spoon stuttered.

The shards formed the mythical beast, and its wings spread open with a flourish.

"I can't attack yet so I end my turn." She said confidently.

"I activate my magic card, change of heart." Bruce said.

"What." Silver Spoon's face went blank.

"I also sacrifice my new summoned skull, and my face down card; to summon Buster Blader." He was relaxed, and had a poker face that rivaled Equestria's own poker champions. Many of whom, were actually here in the Dueling Grounds.

Summoned Skull split into even more shards, as did Bruce's face down right leg of the forbidden one. They merged in the center of the field, and then flew back to Bruce's side, slowly forming a sword, and then the rest of the creature. It was poised, ready to strike the unnerving mare that stood trembling before it.

"I also attack you directly."

The creature flew across the field and stopped right in front of the mare. Silver Spoon had become a grey ball of fear. The monster struck with its frightening blade, and poked the mare's nose. As soft as the impact was, Silver Spoon's life points dropped drastically; down to a pathetic 800 life points.

What? That sword barely touched me! Buck this!

"I end my turn." Bruce said cooly.

Well, I give up. Lets see what I draw. Please be something good! She thought.

Perhaps the irony was that Silver Spoon's card was too good. Or maybe that irony laid in the card's name: Buster Blader.

Great.

"I end my turn." She mumbled.

My first win. Hopefully I'll have more like it.

"I attack you directly." Bruce said with a slight smile.

The monster flew towards her once more, and rammed its sword through her tiny pony body. She winced, but didn't feel a thing.

"Fillies and gentlecolts, the first match has ended. The victor is Bruce Willis." Before the gamekeeper even finished speaking, the grounds were filled with shouts of joy.

Fillies, please. Contain your orgasms. Bruce thought.

The holographic field shattered, into balls this time, and fell back into the ground. Bruce walked off the field, and turned to the monitors.

Unicorn Circuit
Flim Vs. Fleur de lis Winner

Pegasi Circuit
Thunderlane Vs. Scootaloo Winner

Earth Pony/Dragon/Bruce Willis/Luna is dumb pony with no friends Circuit
Silver Spoon Vs. Bruce Willis Winner

Chapter Seven

"Hello contestants. This is your queen er, Princess speaking." Celestia could only hope no-pony heard her falter. "The first three matches have concluded successfully, and we will be moving right along to the next three rounds. Congratulations to the winners! The losers will now be escorted out of the premises. The monitors will now show the next three matches. Please enjoy your stay at the Dueling Grounds."

Unicorn Circuit
ERROR

Pegasi Circuit
ERROR

Earth Pony/Dragon/Bruce Willis Circuit
ERROR

That can't be right? Whats wrong with the monitors? Bruce thought.

"Uh, fillies and gentleponies, we are having some slight technical difficulties." Princess Celestia's worried voice could be heard from the monitors once more. "Please standby until we fix these issues. Thank you."

Issues? Bruce thought. What issues could there be? It's only the first round right?

"Hey, hey, hey!" Three voices called out to Bruce in succession. He spun around tentatively, and saw three familiar faces.

"Nice job in that there match sugarcube. Mighty fine duelin." Applejack said. "Shame about whatever problems are goin down. Ya know anything bout that?"

"Nope. Just as clueless as anypony is about it." Bruce said.

"Ahem."

"Anybody" Bruce rolled his eyes as Spike wore a satisfied look.

"Anyway, that was pretty cool! All those explosions and, and ball thingies, and swords, and explosions!" Pinkie Pie said ecstatically.

"What explosions?" Spike asked.

"You know! In the other two dueling rings? Big explosions? Giant dragon like things?" She said.

"Wait, what did they look like?" Bruce asked, intrigued by Pinkie Pie's response.

"Well, Flim had this golden dragon like thingy, and Scootaloo had this fire red dragon thingy, and you had a sword guy. Then, they both glowed, before they attacked I mean, and won with huge explosions! It was like Trixie's shows all over again!" She said.

So they have the god cards huh....wait, what about Obelisk? Bruce thought.

"Pinkie, did you see any blue monsters? Similar to the two glowing ones you saw before?"

"Uhmmm.....hmmm.......nnnope!" She said with a smile.

"Interesting." Bruce said.

There was a loud click, and the monitors changed from the generic "stand by" screen, to another live video. Of the Princess no less, but she had a 'friend'.

"Hello. This is your other, lesser known Princess speaking. After this announcement, the games will be continuing as scheduled; but I suggest you listen to what I have to say. As you can see, I bear a resemblance to that mare right beside me. Albeit my mane is a different color but you get the general idea. I was recently dropped off here by some whimsical forces of the universe, along with those playing cards. Still don't know who I am?" Many of the ponies in the large center shook their heads.

"Of course. My name is Princess Molestia. The sexiest pony in all of Equestria. Now that this ravishing, juicy announcement is through, continue your games." She said with a sultry smile. The pink haired knock off of Celestia turned, and gave the audience of ponies (and dragon) a full view of what Molestia herself called, the peace-maker; a.k.a the plot.

A loud, very audible gasp was heard from the audience, and the monitors returned to their normal state; showing the next three matches.

Unicorn Circuit
Trixie Lulamoon vs. Lyra Heartstrings

Pegasi Circuit
Fluttershy vs. Spitfire

Earth Pony/Dragon/Bruce Willis Circuit
Applebloom vs. Diamond Tiara

"Wow. I don't even know what to say to that honestly." Bruce said, eyes still fixated on the monitors.

"I know what Dashie would say if she saw that!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

Bruce stifled a laugh. "We should get back to the waiting area before we get kicked out."

They all agreed, and started to make their way back to the designated Earth Pony waiting area; where they could see two young fillies, already about to start the next match. They each took their seats, side by side, and their eyes were eager to see another action packed duel. They were seated in the third row of the bleacher like waiting area, and Bruce was already reading each of the duelists faces. He may have to duel one of them later on after all. Diamond Tiara was calm and smug of course, but Applebloom was nerve wracked and shivering with fear.

Beyond Bruce's perception, another match was just starting in both the unicorn and pegasi circuits. The timid Fluttershy was already on her side of the huge dueling field, as was Spitfire; (who looked very different in without her trademark Wonderbolts uniform) but there was something different about Fluttershy. As timid as she seemed to everypony else, she was surprisingly confident in her dueling abilities. After all, she finally got over her fear of the large holographic creatures that appeared when summoned, as well as the strange events that occur when a magic or trap card is used.

In the unicorn circuit things were a bit different. Trixie had her hat and cape on of course, along with her little frog friend, but Lyra too was dressed up. She was wearing two large metal bands on her front hooves, and had necklace with poorly made replica of the millennium puzzle. Her version of the golden pyramid was not one piece, but three separate triangles formed together, with triangular space in the center. Trixie could only chuckle at the sight of somepony trying so hard to look like a professional. She magically removed her deck from underneath her hat, and placed it on the large dueling board.

"C'mon Applebloom! Show em' how its done!" Applejack shouted.

With a quick glance, the young filly saw her older sister standing the crowd on her hind hooves, cheering for her.

"You got it sis!" She said with a smile.

"Alright duelists. Since you're both fairly young, you each get 2000 life points." The gamekeeper took their decks, shuffled them, and returned them back to their rightful owners. "As you can see," He was speaking to the audience. "I have shuffled both duelist's decks, and have neither added nor removed a card. Since these are two younger duelists, they each get 2000 life points instead of the standard 4000. The game is now in play, with Applebloom having the first move."

Both duelists drew their five cards, and placed them on the designated card holder. Applebloom drew one card, officially beginning her turn. It was a decent draw considering she couldn't attack just yet. Without a word she put one monster face down in defense position, and two more face down cards in the spell and trap zone.

"Ah end mah turn." She said with a confident smile.

Diamond Tiara drew a card, and looked at her reflection in the holofoil of the card. After her brief self admiration, she looked at the other cards that were in her possession.

"I summon Amazoness Chain Master." She said with a smirk. As the card hit the monster card zone, the large image of the fierce Amazoness appeared ready to strike.

"Not so fast Diamond Tiara! You just activated mah trap card." Applebloom said. And indeed her trap card was activated, the infamous torrential tribute. In a flash of blue, both monsters were obliterated.

What a playa! Bruce thought.

"I but you think you're a pretty cunning strategist don't you? Now that my card is destroyed, I can use it's effect. Which just so happens to let me see the cards in your hand? Whats a hand? Whatever. I still get to see those cards and take one monster." As Diamond Tiara said that, the three remaining cards in Applebloom's "hand" were enlarged on the holographic field. Just as luck would have it, only one of the cards was a monster card; the Red Eyes Black Dragon.

"I'll take that one." She said pointing to the black beast. The card flew over to Diamond Tiara's side of the field, and Applebloom's cards returned to their normal position. "I also place one monster face down in defense mode; and end my turn."

"C'mon sis, you can do this!" Applejack shouted.

"Applebloom! Applebloom!" Spike said.

With a few more cheers from Pinkie Pie, the whole crowd erupted in a chant for Applebloom. The young filly was now bursting with confidence, and drew a card.

Dahrn it! It's too high level for me tah summon. She thought. "I end mah turn." She sighed, unable to place down any card at all.

Diamond Tiara drew a card from her deck, and sent it down into the monster card zone, face down and in defense position.

"I end my turn." She said regally.

Beads of sweat were starting to form on Applebloom's brow, and she drew the next card from her deck. Her luck was starting to change. Without haste, she summoned the three star monster.

"Ah summon ancient brain! And uh, attack your monster. The one on the left, no right! Yeah right!" Applebloom said.

The shriveled creature cast a bolt of lightning with its scepter to Diamond Tiara's card, but to no avail. The bolt bounced back, and did 1000 damage to Applebloom's life points. The card flipped over, revealing the giant solider of stone. A mighty warrior made entirely of stone, with 2000 defense points.

"Awww......well, I end mah turn ah guess." Applebloom said.

"Good." Diamond Tiara replied. She drew one more card from her deck, and placed it with the rest of her unused cards. "I use both of my monsters as a tribute, and summon Red Eyes Black Dragon!" The pink colored filly was starting to get giddy, if all went well she would win this round, and maybe even the whole tournament.

Her two cards broke into hundreds of shards of glass, and with the slight plop of Diamond Tiara placing the mighty dragon down, they slowly moved to resemble the shape of a rather large dragon. Soon this resemblance became a full look a like, and the beast let out a mighty roar. Luckily for Fluttershy, she had more problems to worry about then the roar of a dragon; such as trying not to lose her duel.

"And I attack your pathetic little brain." Diamond Tiara said. The dragon opened up it's mouth, and instantly, a large flame struck Applebloom's only monster. There was the sound of glass shattering, and the game was over. The field disintegrated into the ground and the gamekeeper announced the victor. The entire crowd of earth ponies was cheering, not for Diamond Tiara, but for the impressive display of the dragon's power. Not all the ponies were ecstatic, and one cream colored pony, with a bright red mane, was crying.

Ahm sorry sis....

Chapter Eight

"Ah jus don' get it! How in Equestria did she loose?" Applejack shouted from the fields bleachers.

"Something minor in a duel can turn into something huge." Bruce said.

"What do you mean Bruce?" Spike asked as he turned to face the human.

Bruce stayed motionless, gazing into the abyss that was the dueling grounds. After a few moments bruce took a deep sigh. "When it comes to dueling, any mistake big or small is still a mistake. A simple thought perceived in overconfidence, can lead to a whole mess of problems. Dueling isn't just about luck you see, and it isn't just about skill either. It's all about the cards." He grinned like an aging man, relieving childhood memories. "A skilled duelist spots the right cards, and puts them in their deck, making sure no matter what card they draw, they'll always stand a chance. A lucky duelist just overloads their deck with level 8 cards and hopes for the best. A true duelist doesn't make a deck, he lets it come to him. Wait, and all the right cards will come; whether you're in a duel or not."

"That's some fine rhetoric son, but my daughter has already won."

The misfit group of Bruce and his new friends turned were stunned to see Filthy Rich standing right hehind them, in a "simple" gbright into his eyes. suit and tie.

"And the rest of the Rich family will be winning too. You might as well cut your losses this early in the games, I think I would too if I had a failure of a sister. Sorry, I meant family." He chuckled.

"You'd best be watchin' yourself Mr. Filthy. The Apple family can whoop yer little Filthy family intah tomorrow." Applejack said staring right into his eyes.

"Oh Celestia whatever shall I do? A bunch of farmers are going to duel me. You should be thankful I haven't bought your pathetic farm yet. I would love to stay and chat, but I need to congratulate my daughter on her astounding victory." With that, Filthy Rich trotted off to find Diamond Tiara.

"What a meanie. Applebloom may not have won, but sure is a lot nicer then that talentless Diamond Tiara." Pinkie Pie said.

"Thanks Pinkie." Applejack said. "Ah really appreciate yer standin up for me."

Standing up for you? I'm sitting down for myself." The pink mare planted herself on the glass like seats. "I don't know ifvhe knows it or not, but I'm a farmer too! And a rock farmer at that! Considering he gave birth to some pony who wears a worn out tiara, trying to be some sort of important pony in her silly little classroom-"

"Would you guys chill out? You'll have plenty of time to get back at anypony later on. You're starting to cause a scene." Spike reasoned. The two farmers nodded and shook hooves. Pinkie Pie's hair was just starting to to lose poofyness. "Plus," He added. "I have to calm my nerves. You two arguing won't help them, or anyone else's nerves."

"Spike's right. Hey, why don't we check out the other dueling rings? Their matches are just about finishing up." Bruce suggested.

"Eh, why not. No harm in watchin a few matches." Applejack said.

With that, they trotted off to the pegasi ring, and saw Fluttershy, still in mid duel. They decided to instead see the unicorn circuit, and the current battle between Trixie and Lyra. They did this out of respect for Equestria's shyest mare, she was already under enough pressure as it was after all.

Trixie looked at her cards, and back at her still unnamed pet frog. The critter was eyeing Lyra and her respectable outfit. However it wasn't Lyra's turn just yet, it was Trixie's. She had all the time in world of course, there are no time limits when it comes to a duel. She was also winning. It was partly due to her general practice of Equestria's newest sport, but mostly due to her little green friend; as unbeknownst to her, (or even the princesses for that matter) her "frog" was quite special.

As the four took their seats Bruce eyed Lyra and her equipment. Despite her two metal hoofbands, and her spiked up hair, (a very pitiful attempt to imitate a certain someone's hairstyle) Lyra was still losing. Nopony knew it better then her. Except for that frog perhaps, he knows a lot of things.

"Looks like tha shows almost over sugarcube." Applejack said to no one in particular.

"Indeed. I think Trixie has this one." Bruce said.

Lyra's ears perked up at the sound of that voice. Was it really him? She whipped her head around and searched the glass bleachers; and within seconds, spotted him. He was the only human there after all. With a loud squee, she galloped away from the field, and her cards flew high into the air. Trixie's green little friend turned it's head to the side, and hopped off to Lyra's side of the field.

"Human!" Lyra shouted as she plowed through the highly confused pony crowd, and right into Bruce.

The brown gamekeeper paused, then shook his head and turned to the audience. "Well then. Lyra Heartstrings, you are now disqualified from the match. Trixie Lulamoon, congratulations, you win by default."

"The Great and Powerful Trixie is pleased by this. You were wise to surrender little hayseed." Trixie mused.

As she said that, her still unnamed frog hopped over to the mare and landed in it's favorite place, her mane. Luckily for him, Trixie had gotten used to that habit by now.

"What's that in your mouth?" The light blue mare used her magic, and removed a very soggy card shaped object.

"Hey! What did we say about eating cards? Get that frog out of here!" The gamekeeper said.

"Calm yourself. The Great and Powerful Trixie will dispose of the card." With that, the card vanished in a flash of blue light. "Watch yourself peasant." She murmured to the frog.

"Ribbit."

"I catch that frog with a card again and it's going to be dissected understand?" The gamekeeper asked.

"Yes, Trixie and her pe-slave understand."

"Celestia Lyra! Leave the poor guy alone!" Applejack said.

"Sorry." Lyra said. "But that was definitely worth it." Lyra tentatively got off of Bruce and smiled.

"What's the matter A.J? Jealous?" Spike said with a smirk.

"No. Ah sure as buck ain't no filly fooler. Ya'll know that." She said with a slightly irritated tone.

"I don't mind." Bruce said patting Lyra on the head. "So soft....." Bruce rubbed his face in Lyra's coat. "Your mane is a different story though." He said, muffled by her fur.

"Awwww! You two look so adorable!" Pinkie Pie said. "You should go on a date!"

"Very funny Pinkie." Bruce said as he rolled his eyes.

"No I'm super duper serious!" The pink mare shouted as she bounced around Bruce and Lyra. "I'll start making dinner reservations right away!"

Pinkie Pie sped off in a streak of bright pink, leaving the two "lovers" together with Spike and Applejack.

As Pinkie Pie ran out of the dueling room, something caught her eye. It was a card.

"Ooooohhhhh!" She said. She picked up the rectangular object, but instantly dropped it. "Ew ew ew! Frog saliva." With her back hoof, she kicked the card far off somewhere into the royal garden, near the statues.

A Chat With Princess Molestia

Hello you foals. This is Queen Molestia speaking. Despite what many of you filly foolers think I am a Queen not a Princess. Now that that is out of the way, there are many things I would like to show you. Like my plot for example but that is for later with a certain bookworm. From what I have heard, many of you wonder what the rules are for these silly little games, instead of serving your leader. So for that I'll have my very special guest come and explain them to you.

Hello everypony. My name is Twilight Sparkle. While the princess is busy doing uh.....something, I'll be here explaining to you the whole concept of the Dueling Grounds. I did help design it myself after all. Now normally when you summon a monster outside the actual creature appears. But in the dueling grounds its a bit different. For starters, the playing field that you put the card on loads an image based on the card, and then displays that image on the field. There is no real monster at all! Isn't that amazing?

How this holographic thing works is a different story. It involves alicorn magic and a whole mess of things the Princess says too secret to talk about. Anyway, that's gonna be for another conversation I suppose. The Princesses and I hope you enjoy your stay at the dueling grounds!