Little Clop of Horrors

by Dinkeldash

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Comedy, Big Macintosh, Random, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Colgate
Length: 6961

An heroic pony porno musical comedy. With tentacles!

Fluttershy finds an unusual plant in the Everfree Forest that appears to have the both vegetative and animalistic properties, so she digs it up, pots it and brings it to her cottage for further research. It appears to have unusual dietary requirements, so Fluttershy searches for ways to feed it what it craves. Contains ponies, tentacles and perverted vegetation. Guest starring Colgate as The Dentist!

Cover art sources for fluttershy and background.

This is a parody of Little Shop of Horrors and contains parody lyrics of several of the songs in the show. Here are the original songs:
Prologue
Suddenly Seymour
Mean Green Mother from Outer Space

This account is the dark side account for this guy.

Published 2014-06-29 07:30:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-29 07:30:05 UTC

Little Clop of Horrors

Once upon a time, terrible events took place in a quaint, out-of-the-way town known as Ponyville, the most seemingly innocent and unlikely of places. These events threatened the existence of the entire pony race, and it was only through the bravery and sacrifice of six selfless ponies that evil was defeated, that dark day...

Little clop,
Little cloppa horrors.
Bop-sh'bop,
You'll never stop the cloppers.
Little clop,
Little cloppa horrors.
No, oh, oh, no, oh, oh, no, oh, oh, no!

"That wasn't bad at all, Applebloom!" Applebloom smiled as Sweetie Belle smoothed the shimmering white gown she was wearing, which matched those of her two best friends. "Scootaloo, you're still a little flat at the bridge. Sorry, I know you're trying." Scootaloo kicked a pebble in frustration. "If we want our Motown cutie marks, our harmony is going to have to be perfect, so from the top!"

Little clop
Little cloppa...

They were interrupted as Fluttershy walked out of her cottage. "Hello girls. What are you doing, and why are you doing it outside of my cottage at six in the morning? I mean, if you don't mind my asking."

"Oh we don't mahnd!" Applebloom grinned. "We're just practicing our doo-wop, tryin' to get our cutie marks, as usual!"

"But why are you doing your wop in front of my cottage? I mean... that's OK, I'm just sort of curious." Fluttershy blushed, worried that she might have to have an extended conversation.

"Because everypony else chased us away and we figured you would be conflict-avoidant as usual." Scootaloo smiled an angelic smile and a halo appeared over her head. "Besides, it says in the script here you needed some opening music."

"You have the script? Can I see it?" Sweetie Belle excitedly asked, as both she and Applebloom crowded in to look at the stapled sheets Scootaloo was holding. Their eyes scanned the pages with delight, which turned to embarrassed dismay shortly thereafter.

"Ah don't know if we're s'posed to be in thishere kinda story!" Applebloom was blushing like a Delicious.

"Our sisters are in this! In this scene! Together! Ew!" Sweetie Belle looked like she wanted to crawl under a rock.

"Don't worry about it girls, we just sing! Nothing weird happens to us. And we may get our cutie marks!" Scootaloo breezily dismissed their objections and the other two Crusaders nodded reluctantly.

"What are you three looking at?" Fluttershy felt very confused, like she'd just had a conversation with Pinkie Pie.

"Nothing!" sang the crusaders in three part harmony, matching halos appearing over Applebloom and Sweetie Belle's heads as Scootaloo hid the incriminating pages behind her back.

"Oh. Well, I guess I'll just go out to visit my animal friends a little early today. Big Mac should be out working in the orchard already, so I'll just say hi to him on the way over. See you later, girls." She walked away as the Crusaders sang an ominous minor chord.

______

Fluttershy listened to the birds chirping as she cantered up the road to the Everfree. As always, she passed by the Sweet Apple Acres south orchard, and this morning, she heard the rhythmic thump, thump of apple bucking. She imagined, once again, that she was a tree. Being bucked, repeatedly, by Big Macintosh. I wish I was a tree. Really I do...

Then she started to feel the telltale moisture. Not again! No more accidents! She started to think of her innocent animal friends, cold showers and being imprisoned in the place you've been banished to. Then Big Macintosh showed up in her daydream outside of her cage, wearing a guard's uniform and twirling a set of keys. Stop it!!!

The real reason for Fluttershy's paralyzing social anxiety was that she was spontaneously orgasmic. It was her secret shame; she was terrified of being in front of crowds or even having long conversations, needing to vanish from time-to-time to either cool down or maresturbate, depending on the situation and time available.

It started when she was little more than a filly. Her wings were especially sensitive, and whenever she tried to fly, she found it almost impossible to concentrate. It was so bad that she couldn't even recover from her dive when Rainbow Dash knocked her off a cloud because the high speed winds were causing her to cream herself continuously. She thought she was going to die, albeit die deliriously happy, when she was saved by that highly fortuitous cushion of butterflies. Therefore, she kept her speed down to a minimum, except that one time during the tornado incident when it was so loud nopony could hear her screams of pleasure.

Big Macintosh stopped bucking to admire Fluttershy walking up the road. I wonder why she's always walking everywhere? Well, it's done wonders for that su-weet ass of hers. What I wouldn't give to be buried hilt deep in that cutie pie right now... but she's so shy and easily embarrassed. It's impossible to talk to her; she's always blushing and excusing herself. And besides... I have Colgate. Maybe one of these days, she'll be able to... sigh... He went back to his work. Don't want her to think I was staring.

She walked past him and stopped, turning to face him, and blushing as always, keeping her distance. "Oh, hello Big Macintosh. I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

He smiled. "Not at all, Fluttershy. I hope you're having a good day!"

"Oh! Oh, yes, a very good day. How are you?" She blushed even brighter. Poor filly, why is she so shy? She needs medication or something.

"Say, Fluttershy, why don't you come over here. I'll give you some fresh picked apples for breakfast. And we can talk, you know, at less than maximum range?" He grinned at his joke, showing all his teeth.

He's so nice and handsome and... big... and strong... and sweaty from working. Oh no! It's starting! "No-gotta-go-I-hear-a-squirrel-calling-me-he's-stuck-in-a-tree-bye!" She shot off leaving behind only a cloud of dust. Big Macintosh sighed and went back to work.

Fluttershy's current speed, generating high speed winds over her wings certainly didn't help anything, but once she caught his musky scent, she was a goner. I have to have to jill off somewhere... that bush! She dove into it and rolled over on her back, moaning. Her hoof immediately went to her throbbing, soaking wet slit and she started rubbing, imagining Big Macintosh was on top of her, filling her with stallionhood. "Oh Mac! Buck me baby!" She threw her head back and closed her eyes as her hoof rubbed up and down very quickly; she didn't need to warm up at all; she was always primed and ready. She imagined his thick, red, veinous penis penetrating her, dreamed of being covered in his salty sweat as he bucked her deeply, thump, thump, thump and then he stopped, his face screwing up at the moment of ecstasy as they both went over the edge together...

Her brain exploded in pleasure as waves of contractions reduced her to a twitching, helpless mess. She bit her lip to keep from screaming as she sprayed all over a nearby patch of flowers. The usual horde of butterflies fluttered over to sip up her pussy juices, which saved her life once and has been a source of embarrassment ever since. Nopony would ever be able to look at her cutie mark again without laughing if they knew what it really meant.

She lay back on the grass, breathing hard and shooing away butterflies from between her legs. The last thing I need right now is butterfly kisses! Suddenly, she saw something unusual happening in the sky. Both the moon and the sun were in the sky at the same time! How odd! I wonder if one of those Luna-vs-Celestia fanfics is happening concurrently? In a moment, the moon had blotted out the sun, pitching Equestria into darkness. After a few minutes during which Fluttershy recovered, and the butterflies cleaned up, the moon passed from in front of the sun, but not without giving it a kiss on the cheek first. Oh, a princesst shipfic! The sun blushed and hoped nopony had noticed.

She sat up and noticed something very odd; an unusual plant she could swear hadn't been there before. It was a few inches tall and had a single, oversized, bulbous bud. But what was most odd was that it seemed to be... smiling? She waved her hoof at it and it seemed to be tracking her movements. "Hello little fellow! My, aren't you unusual? You look like a plant but you're acting sort of like an animal. Would you like to come home with me?" The plant nodded. "Oh, how wonderful! I'll introduce you to all my other animal friends and put you on the windowsill and you'll get a lot of sun, unless you're a shade plant that is. Could I dig you up? I'll take you straight back to my house and pot you. Would that be OK?" The plant nodded again.

Fluttershy quickly scooped the plant up with a generous amount of dirt and put it in her saddlebag. "I'll take you home right away!" She decided it was worth the risk, especially since she had just gotten off, so she flew back to her cottage. When she got there, she took the plant and put it into a small container, watered it and placed it on the shelf under the window. Then she took care of her critters and went about her other business for the day, only having to satisfy herself two more times before sundown. She felt it had been a good day for self-control. Before turning in for the night, consisting of a last frig followed by a sweet drifting off to sleep, she decided to check on the plant. It looked sickly, near to death.

"I don't understand! I gave you water... wait! Plants need food, don't they?" The little plant nodded weakly. "Wait, maybe I have some plant food up in the cupboard here. I'll just check here... oops!" Flutters flew up above the plant to get to the plant food and the action of the warm night air against her wings, coupled with her relative deprivation, caused a small discharge from her nether region as she searched the cupboard. Some of it dribbled down her leg and trailed down onto the drooping head of the plant.

"Here we go! Some lovely banana peels, coffee grounds and egg shells! I'll just chop this up and... why, look at you!" The plant had perked right up, even more upright than she had found it. "Are you better now?" The plant nodded and seemed to smile more broadly. "What happened? Did I... wait... did I drip on you? Is that what I smell?" The plant nodded vigorously. "So you thrive on pussy juice?" Fluttershy's eyes went wide as she considered the ramifications.

"Well, I suppose I could take care of your needs... if you don't mind, that is. It's been almost six hours, after all. For me that's rather," she placed the plant on the floor and straddled it, "a long time." She reached her hoof down between her legs and started stroking herself, imagining that she was sitting on the face of a certain red stallion, his lips and tongue teasing her soft mound, lightly licking her tenderly, then grasping her buttocks and forcing her down onto his muzzle as he varied pressure and tempo, saying how he loved her taste, her smell, how he loved her... she came with a high shuddering moan. It was a real squirter this time, and she soaked the plant with her tangy twat juice, her legs spasming as convulsions emanated from deep in her womb. No butterflies this time, the juices seeped into the soil before they could be summoned by the magic of her cutie mark.

She kissed the plant goodnight, tasting herself on it, imagining it was Big Macintosh's pussy juice-soaked face she was touched to her lips. "You're my Big Mac II," she said fondly. Then she set it back on the shelf and turned in for the night.

At midnight, as the nocturnal critters eyed the plant with suspicion, there was a crashing sound as the pot shattered. The plant sat, having ground twice as large, healthy, squatting on its roots in amidst the pottery shards and soil. It grinned in the moonlight and the critters shuddered.

______

The next morning, Fluttershy awoke and as she was feeding her little friends, she noticed with amazement that the plant had grown so much. "Well, it looks like we know what to feed you!" She moved the plant to a new, larger pot, and then gave a cry of "Who wants some breakfast?" Her animal friends perked up, Angel running up towards her with an empty food bowl. He dropped it with a clatter when he saw just what was for breakfast. Fluttershy was grinding herself on the plant, rubbing her vagina up and down the bulb. The animals stood in shock as she came with a cry, her vagina spraying the strange, bulbous vegetation with the sticky product of her orgasm. Angel rolled his eyes and stalked off.

Having finished her morning constitutional, Fluttershy fixed breakfast for the animals who still had a stomach for eating. The plant grinned, and the critters saw a tongue lick the obscene, fleshy lips. As the pegasus chopped lettuce, there was a commotion outside. Fluttershy went to the window to see what was happening and she saw Big Macintosh being scolded by Colgate. Again.

"Darn it Mac! How many times have I told you, cream-colored roses! Not red! Red clashes with my coat!" Big Macintosh looked down at his own coat and the red roses strewn in the street. "And don't get me started on that coat of yours! Yeah, sure, you 'can't help it' but you don't even try, do you?" He shrugged.

"Ah'm sorry darlin'..."

"Don't you sorry darlin' me! No WONDER you can't get me to orgasm! Now you go out and bring back cream colored roses, or else!" She shook a toothbrush in his face. "Or else THIS will be used for a purpose not approved by the Equestrian Dental Association! Got it?"

He backed off. "Yes, dear. Sorry." Then he galloped off in the direction of the florist.

"That Colgate is such a meanie! I could just rinse and spit! The way she treats Big Macintosh... wait. Did she just say he can't make her cum? Angel, did you hear that?" Angel nodded, chewing on carrots that for once had not been the recipients of Fluttershy's 'special sauce' and were therefore more crunchy than usual. "What mare would have that kind of stallion rutting her and not be able to orgasm? And she's a bitch of course. A frigid bitch! Poor Mac!" Fluttershy shook with anger.

"She doesn't deserve him!" said a voice beside her. She jumped.

"Who said that? Angel, did you say that?" The rabbit put his fists on his hip and cocked his head at her, scowling. He then pointed at the leering green plant on the windowsill. Fluttershy approached the plant. "Did you say something, little guy?"

"Well.. yeah." Admitted the plant. Fluttershy blushed.

"Oh! Well... that's interesting. Say, you aren't going to tell anypony about..."

"The fact that you are a plant fucker? A hopeless nymphomaniac and chronic maresturbator?"

She blushed crimson as Angel munched, enjoying the floorshow. "Er... yes."

"Listen here filly, you ain't got nothing to be ashamed about! Nobody should judge someone when it comes to their sexuality! You can't help the fact that you've got yourself a hairtrigger pussy. Which is delicious, by the way. You must have a really healthy diet. But I digress! You should be happy about your orgasmic nature! What about that 'frigid bitch' you were just talking about? I saw the way she was treating that stallion. She's taking the fact that she can't experience sexual pleasure out on him and that's just wrong, sister!" The plant crossed its little branches in front of its stalk.

"Well, yes, that is wrong. Poor Big Macintosh. I named you Big Mac II after him, you know. And I'm Fluttershy. Oh, and we say 'nopony' and 'anypony' here." Her blush was cooling.

The plant rubbed under the part of the bulb that corresponded to its chin. "Maybe she's not really into stallions. What do you think of that?"

"Oh! Oh goodness! Do you really think she's a lesbimare?"

"Maybe you could find out? Oh, and do me a teensy favor... I love your pussy juice of course, but I really need to get it from a variety of sources. So go and make that pony cum like a firehose and bring me back a nice cup of it because I'm getting really hungry."

"But I'm not... I mean... I never..." Fluttershy blushed as red as Big Macintosh.

"Come on, Fluttershy! I'm hungry! Feed me, please?" The plant wrung its leaves. "I'm shriveling! Besides, when she realizes she's a lesbimare, you can have Big Macintosh all you yourself!"

"Well... I suppose I can try. Alright! I'll do it!" She blushed with determination, grabbed a measuring cup and marched out the door. The plant chuckled evilly as Angel glared at it.

Fluttershy knocked on the door to the dentist's office and was almost knocked over by the Cutie Mark Crusaders as they opened the door and left, frowns on their faces. Colgate chased them out, yelling, "For the last time, no full musical numbers! Fair use doctrine or not, they don't work in a written story. And that song was really only good because of the camera angle from inside of the patient's mouth and how the heck is that supposed to work in a fic?"

"Oh, well. We tried, girls." Sweetie Belle led the trio away. "Oh, and Colgate, have fun with your Fluttergate scene!"

"I'm sure I will, thanks!" The Crusaders sadly doo-wopped away. "Well, hello there Fluttershy! Do you have an appointment?"

Fluttershy glanced at the retreating Crusaders, confused again. "Um... no, actually, but I was wondering if, well, if you could see me anyway. That is, if its alright with you."

"I suppose I can squeeze you in. Come on!" Colgate led her to the examination room and indicated for her to get in the chair. Fluttershy complied, hiding the measuring cup behind her back as she did so. "So, what's the problem? Toothache?"

"Well no, not exactly."

Colgate frowned. "What is it then?"

"What's it like, being with Big Macintosh?"

"Oh. Well, I suppose I should be grateful that you're asking somepony about sex, finally. Not that I'm any kind of expert, but the way you're always getting yourself off, alone in that cottage..."

"What!? Who? How?" Fluttershy squirmed, blushing in places she'd never blushed before.

"I've been your neighbor for a few years now and you aren't exactly quiet when you're pleasing yourself." Colgate smiled. "I mean, I don't mind. I wish I could do that, but I've never been able to have an orgasm myself. I wish I knew what it was like."

"Well, maybe you're just not with the right pony, Colgate." Fluttershy lowered herself in the chair, slightly.

Colgate's face dropped. "Big Macintosh is a very good stallion. And I don't feel good about the way I treat him... I just get SO frustrated, that no matter gently he kisses me," Fluttershy's blush deepened, "or how much he rubs and teases me with that big cock of his," Fluttershy gasped, "no matter how deeply he penetrates me," Flurttshy bit her lip, "or how long and lovingly he eats me out," fluids dripped between the yellow pegasus' legs, "I just can't seem to come."

"Maybe," said Fluttershy with a ragged breath, "you aren't with the right kind of pony." Her pupils were dilated and she was fully aroused.

"No, I've been with unicorns and pegasi, really nice guys, but it's always the same thing." Colgate sighed.

"Maybe..." said Fluttershy, reaching out to stroke Colgate's face, "you aren't supposed to be with stallions."

"Oh? Well, I um..." Colgate looked flustered and started to blush, herself. "Whatever do you mean?"

"I mean, maybe you're supposed to like mares. I mean, do you like me?"

"Everypony likes you Fluttershy! I mean, you're like the most adorable pony ever! But I mean, I never, well... not a lot, but maybe once in a while I've thought about it. What's it like, being with a mare?" Colgate's voice was husky.

"I have no idea. I've never been with anypony!" Colgate's eyes widened as Fluttershy scooted lower in the chair, her enormous eyes looking into Colgate's as her pink make spilled all around. "I'm scared, Colgate. But I want somepony to make love to me. I need somepony to make love to me. Would you please make love to me?"

Colgate stared, her blush staining her skin almost purple, muttered "I can't bucking believe I'm doing this," and then leaned slowly forward and kissed Fluttershy gently on her lips. Fluttershy had never been kissed that way before; it has always been mommy kisses and daddy kisses, and more recently butterfly kisses. She was amazed by how soft and warm Colgate's lips were on her own. And goodness, her breath is so fresh! She returned the kiss, her mouth opening slightly as Colgate started to press her lips harder, more urgently. Colgate's tongue quested into Fluttershy's mouth, which confused her because she always thought quests required at least six ponies, but it felt so wonderful she didn't care. She relaxed and quested back, their tongues meeting in a wonderful PvP encounter.

The unicorn used her magic to tickle Fluttershy's pinions, causing her to squirm. "Oh, goodness! What are you doing!"

"It's called foreplay, my little bicuspid. The pegasus stallions seemed to like it."

"I like it too, but you're getting me so hot!" Steam arose from between the Flutterthighs, and Colgate moved her hoof down in response.

"Why, it's like an autoclave down there, you dirty little filly! Hmm..." Colgate massaged Fluttershy gently between her legs, the pegasus arching her back and quivering. For some reason, letting somepony else do the driving made the sensation of her impending orgasm all the more tantalizing. Then she felt Colgate move lower, her mouth teasing down her belly, slowly pausing a few inches above her sex.

"Oooh! Do it, I need it! Please!"

"Not so fast! Who's the one in the chair? This is my office you know, my rules!" Colgate moved her head to the right and started kissing and nipping the inside of Flutterhsy's leg, so close to her now inflamed, hot marehood. "Mmmm... I must say, this smells utterly heavenly. And you're so pretty down here! I didn't realize that a mare could be beautiful viewed from this particular angle!"

"Oh Celestia's mane! You're torturing me!"

"Well, I am a dentist you know. It comes with the territory. However, I don't think I'll be able to resist much longer... let's see what this tastes like, shall we?" She bent her head and placed her tongue along Fluttershy's labiae, slowly licking upwards as the pegasus quaked under her.

"Oh my sweet flight feathers! This is gonna be something else!"

"Yum! What do you mean, sweetheart?" mumbled the unicorn from between her legs.

"You're making me cu-u-u-um!!!" Fluttershy's hips started to buck as she experienced a freedom that she never had before, her orgasm generated by another. Her incipient feeling of gratitude was quickly overwhelmed by the massive endorphin rush and she grabbed Colgate's head, pushing her pelvis up, throwing her head back and screaming something unintelligible with a lot of vowels, like one of those draws you get in Scrabble when all you need is an 'S' for a triple word score.

Nothing like it had ever happened. Fluttershy hadn't had to imagine something else happening, somepony else doing something to her, because it was actually somepony else doing something to her, for once! "Woah! Oh, Colgate, that was incredible!"

Colgate emerged from between her legs, her face soaking wet, her eyes half-lidded. "Oh baby, you taste just like bubblegum toothpaste!" A dollop of clear liquid dripped off her chin and her hoof caught it. She stuck it her mouth and sucked it, looking deeply into Fluttershy's eyes. "Ahhmmm... that's so good. I think you may have been right about me. Because, I don't know exactly, but my goodness, I feel so... relaxed right now! Receptive, maybe?"

Fluttershy scootched herself lower in the chair. "Maybe you'd like to be on top? Your office, right?" She smiled as Colgate closed her eyes and thanked Celestia. Then the beautiful blue mare with the toothpaste colored mane raised herself onto the arms of the chair, presenting herself to Fluttershy. The pegasus leaned forward and kissed the dentist gently upon the clitoris, eliciting a gasp and a little shiver.

"What is this feeling?" Then, she broke into song while grinding her pussy down on Fluttershy's face.

"Suddenly Flutters is letting me ride her,
my tongue was inside her,
just moments ago!
Suddenly Flutters, her face is my slider,
orgasm provider,
I'll go with the flow!"

Fluttershy grabbed the measuring cup and stuck it under her chin as years worth of pent up frustration broke forth from Colgate's marehood, flooding her face with a very clean-tasting spray. It seemed to go on for a whole minute, the measuring cup filling up about three quarters of the way with the blue fluid. She quickly hid it and cleaned the juices from Colgate's thighs.

"I can never thank you enough!" Colgate bent down and kissed Fluttershy firmly. "I'll have to break the news to Mac later. Poor guy, but I never knew. Thank you again so much, you were wonderful!"

Fluttershy brushed her hoof through the dentist's mane "Oh no, you don't owe me a thing. That was incredible. I can't believe what I was missing out on! And you have a lovely voice, so powerful!"

"Thanks! Tell me something... you love that big red lunk, don't you?" Colgate's smile was happy and free. The expression on her face was of a pony released from the prison of the wrong sexual orientation.

"Yeah, I love him." Fluttershy blushed. "So, um, could you tell me... um..."

Colgate make a gesture with her hooves and Fluttershy squeaked.

"I really hate to rush you out, babe, but I have another patient coming in." Colgate have Fluttershy a warm hug.

"Oh, that's quite alright. Who is it?"

"Rainbow Dash." Fluttershy smiled a sly smile at Colgate as the realization hit her. "Rainbow Dash! Yes!!!"

"Well you have fun cleaning her teeth or whatever! See you around!" Colgate waved happily at Fluttershy who walked out of the office, hiding the purloined liquid under her wing.

______

Fluttershy got back to her cottage, holding the measuring cup.

"Do you have it?" The plant asked, its voice full of greed.

"Yes, I, um, got some. I hope you like it." A vine-like appendage whipped out and grabbed the cup. The plant tilted its bulb-like head back, which split open to reveal a thick red tongue and where teeth would normally be, a whole lot of other little tongues, writhing around. The thing poured the blue marejuice down its gullet, then gargled, swished, and swallowed.

"Ah! Minty fresh! So I was right about..."

"Oh yes! And now that she's confirmed in her sexual orientation, she's going to break up with Big Macintosh, so... I'll be able to date him! Yay!" She danced a little. "Thank you!"

"Anything for love, Fluttershy. Now, that was very refreshing, a delightful aperitif, but I could use something, I don't know, a little more... substantial?"

Fluttershy suddenly looked at the clock. "Oh goodness! It's almost two-o-clock! On a Wednesday! It's almost Rarijack time! I better get to my knothole!"

"What are you talking about?" The plant titled its bulb to the side, curious.

"Oh, my friends Rarity and Applejack come here every Wednesday at two-o'clock for their romantic little trysts. Nopony is supposed to know, because I'm scheduled to be out having a tea party, but I've moved that to three ever since one day when it started raining and I came home and saw them through the window. Now I have a little place in my closet and I can watch through a knothole. I like to watch." She smiled and shifted her weight from one hoof to another, coquettishly.

"You are one sick chick. I like that in a mare! But what am I supposed to do?"

"Um, act botanical? Oops, here they come!" She scampered to the closet while Big Mac II assumed what it hoped was a vegetative posture.

The door opened. "All clear!" Applejack tiptoed in, followed by Rarity. "Do you think anypony saw us, sugarcube?"

"Darling, I simply don't see why we're sneaking around like this. These days nopony cares. Our friends will approve, you know that." Rarity pouted.

"Darlin', you know Ah love you more than lahf itself, but Ah also love mah Granny Smiith, and she's a mite bit ol' fashioned. Ah'm afraid she'd get so upset that she'd up and shuffle off th' mortal coil! So Ah'm afraid it has to be this way." Applejack put her hoof on Rarity's neck. "Please don't be cross with me."

"Oh Applejack, honey. I could never be cross with you." She put her hoof over Applejack's and stroked it. This is gettin' interestin'! thought Big Mac II, as they leaned in to kiss.

"What in tarnation?" said Applejack as their lips came apart.

"What is wrong, darling?" Rarity wasn't sure whether she should be hurt.

"What the hay is THAT thing?" Rarity looked down AJ's pointing foreleg to the bizarre plant, squatting in a large clay pot on the floor. It was the size of an easy chair.

"Well, that's certainly an interesting decorative statement by Fluttershy, I must say! But don't let it distract you, darling!"

Yes, don't let me distract you, thought Big Mac II.

Yes, don't let it distract you, though Fluttershy.

"I just got the feelin' it's, I dunno, watching us or something!" The plant chuckled silently.

"AJ, darling... don't be silly. Besides, I kind of like the thought that somepony may be watching us." Rarity leaned forward to Applejack. "Don't you think it's time for you to take your hat off?"

"Ah only take mah hat of fer one thing, sugarcube."

"Don't I know it, darling?" Rarity breathed into Applejack's mouth, as AJ grinned, knocking her hat onto the floor, and laying back in front of the plant. Rarity climbed on top of her country-mare lover and straddled her. rubbing her smooth white body up and down AJ's muscular form as goosepimples formed under her coat. Big Mac II and Fluttershy both watched intently, though the plant certainly had the better view.

"Now sugarcube, we don't have much time before Flutters gets back from her little critter party, so let's jest dispense with all that hoofin' around and get busy." Her voice was thick with desire.

"Oh honey, that's why I want do stop sneaking around, so we can take our time and mmph!" Applejack had grabbed Rarity's head and pushed it down between her thighs. She immediately started mouthing her lover's crotch, licking up and down, sided to side, round and round, spreading her pussy lips with her hooves and tickling her clitoris. Good work, thought Big Mac II. AJ shivered as pleasurable sensations emanated through her toned abdomen.

"Yeah, Rares... that's so good, but you know what would be better?"

"Of course I do, lover." Rarity giggled, lifting her face and pivoting her alabaster plot directly over AJ's muzzle.

"Now that there's a sight to se- mpfh!" Rarity planted her puss right in AJ's face and ground down as she stretched her neck to get a better angle on her filly-friend's farm-fresh vagina. The two sixty-nined directly in front of Big Mac II for a solid minute, not even coming up for air. The vegetation started to twitch.

I... I can't... I just can't take it! I need... I need... "I need pussy!" yelled the plant, its vines whipping out to grab the two mares and haul them up above its open mouth.

"WHAT THE HAY!?" yelled Applejack as Rarity shrieked wordlessly.

Fluttershy's eye widened behind the knothole and she almost stopped maresturbating to help her friends. Almost.

"Yearghlblarglblarg!" howled Big Mac II as it lowered the struggling Applejack into its maw.

"Applejack! No!!!" screamed Rarity as the bulbous jaws shut on her friend. Inside the vast bulb, there was a shape writhing. Then it went still. "No!!! Oh Celestia!" All was quiet except for Rarity's sobs and a faint fapping sound from the closet.

Suddenly, AJ's head popped out the top of the bulb. "Rarity, you REALLY have t' trah this, it's outta this wo--" her head got sucked back in.

"Applejack?" Rarity stopped crying as Fluttershy frigged furiously. Then the bulb split open, revealing Applejack at the center, with the plant's fleshy tongue stuck firmly up her twat. "Applejack! I thought we meant something to each other!"

"Rarity, this ain't what it looks like!" Applejack blushed as she twisted on the plant's rigid tongue, the tentacle wrapped around her waist jamming her up and down on it. "Well, OK, Ah guess it is what it looks like, but this plant, it don't mean nothin' to me! Rares, you're the only thing Ah care about! Oh gosh, Ahmma gonna..." She closed her eyes and shook as her orgasm took control.

The plant pulled her off. "Ahh! That's the good stuff! Applejuice, I love it! Hold on ladies, just a second; there'll be room for two in here presently!" The plant shivered and then grew suddenly to twice the height of a pony. "Ah! There we go! Get back in here you, and your little friend too!"

"Oh, heavens!" cried Rarity.

"It's a little weird at first, Rares, but..." the lips closed over the two.

Fluttershy watched.

Fapfapfapfapfap!

______

Pinkie Pie knocked on Twilight's door at the Fortress of Friendship. "Hi Pinkie!" Twilight exclaimed as she opened the door. "Would you like to come in and see the new Friendship Lab? We have seven different friendship experiments going on with test subjects, electroencephalograms, this button that ponies press to electrocute one another, you know, to test which ones are better friends... its lots of fun!"

"Maybe some other time Twilight! Right now I'm here to tell you that I'm getting some mighty unusual twitching!" Pinkie made a face. "There it is again!"

"Was it your mane?" Twilight looked concerned.

"Nope!"

"Was it your tail?" Twilight looked alarmed.

"Not this time!"

"Well, what was it?" Twilight looked confused.

"My pubes! Whoops! There it goes again! Looks like we have a level seven incursion and it is centered at Fluttershy's house!" Twilight looked faintly disgusted.

"Your pubes? I thought you shaved!"

"I do, but I carry them around in this box, see?" She whipped out a small white box that was rattling, shaking and quaking all over the place.

"Ew." Twilight stuck out her tongue. "Well, I suppose we need to get over to Flutter's place. Where is everypony?"

"Here comes Dashie. Hi Dashie!"

"Hi guys! Boy, I just had the best dental checkup EVER!" Rainbow Dash was grinning ear-to-ear. "What's up?"

"Level seven pubic incursion." Pinkie smiled.

"AWESOME! Could this day get any better? Wait, what?"

"We have to fight a bad guy." Twilight spoke slowly to her friend.

"I knew that! OK, where is everypony else?"

______

Big Macintosh was just walking out of Colgate's office, a spring in his step. "That was the nicest darned breakup ever! And Fluttershy loves me! I'm a comin' Flutters!"

He trotted over to the cottage and opened the door. There he saw a giant bulb squatting on its roots in the middle of the floor.

"WHAT THE HAY!?"

The plant popped open its mouth, reached in with a couple of vines and pulled out Rarity and Applejack, both of them smoking a cigarette and looking practically sedated. "Hey, bro," drawled AJ. "Ahm kind of a lesbimare."

"Not much of a surprise there; Granny Smith always said you were." Rarity chuckled. "But what is that thing supposed to be?" He glared at the pussynivorous potted plant.

"Hey stud! Why don't you come over here and find out?" A tentacle whipped around Big Macintosh's neck and started to drag him.

"Hey, wait a minute! What the?" Big Mac II brought forth another appendage. One of the vines now sported a large cucumber, or perhaps a zucchini, on the end. "What exactly are you going to do with that?" The plant grinned and chuckled evilly. "Oh HAY no!" The red stallion bucked against the power of the vine while Rarity and Applejack strongly suggested that this wasn't cool any more.

"JUST A MINUTE!" Fluttershy came out of her closet, sweaty, with her hair in disarray. "You can't anally penetrate Big Macintosh against his will! That's not very nice!"

"And how are you gonna stop me, sugarpussy?"

"With the STARE!" Fluttershy blazed a stare of terrifying intensity.

The plant whipped out a vine and wrapped her up, bringing her to its lips. It smiled. "No eyes."

"Oops." Fluttershy attempted a weak grin.

"And besides," continued the plant...

The door slammed open and in ran the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

"... hit it girls!"

They started to doo-wop for their backup singer cutie marks with maniacal smiles on their faces

Get this straight!
I'm just a pussy eater from Tartarus
and I'm bad.

(Pus-sy eat-er)
sang the CMC backup singers, as Rarity and Applejack scolded Sweetie Belle and Applebloom respectively.

I'm just a pussy eater from Tartarus
and it looks like you been had.
I'm just a pussy eater from Tartarus
So get on your back, 'n gimme your puss,
'Cause I eat the vaj
And I am bad.

It lifted Fluttershy up above its throat and tickled her with a dozen tongues.

Ya don't know what you're dealin' with.
You think I just got sass,
But I'm gonna take your coltfriend now
And fuck him in the ass!
(ass-ass-ass!)

Big Macintosh's eyes got wide as dinner plates.

Watch me now!
I'm just a pussy eater from Tartarus
And I'm bad.
(pus-sy-eat-er)
I'm just a pussy eater, I like to cuss,
And you've got me fightin' mad.
I'm just a pussy eater from Tartarus
Gonna fuck his ass! Gonna cuke his tush!
I eat the vaj,
And I am bad.

"JUST A MINUTE!" Twilight Sparkle, her wings extended for maximum intimidation, flanked by Pinkie and Rainbow Dash, entered the room and confronted the ravening vegetable, just as the Crusaders ran out. 'Let go of all those ponies, RIGHT NOW!"

Big Mac II grinned wider. "More ponies, more pussy!" Vines quickly encircled the three newcomers, tickling them and torturing them. Now it had the six friends suspended in the air above the its obscene mouth, while Big Macintosh was pinned down, a questing elongate vegetable of indeterminate taxonomy throbbing in his direction. "And now, with the alicorn pussy, and the stallion ass, I will spawn dozens of... um... spawn. That will conquer all of Equestria! Soon, all the pony pussies and the stallion discosticks will belong to me! Muahaha!" It started to lower the ponies into its mighty mouth, pausing to admire Pinkie Pie. "Hello Telly Savalas!"

Twilight Sparkle thought fast. "It's a Tartarus Pussy Trap! Quick girls! Rainbow Pussy Power!"

"Rainbow Pussy Power!" they all yelled together. Light started to shoot out of each of their pussies into each other pony's pussy, a different color light from each pony, and the lights reflected and built up until... they had a collective orgasm. It was such a strong orgasm that their color schemes and manes immediately became ridiculously tacky.

The discharge from their pussies was brilliantly colored and pulsed with energy. It poured into the open maw of the Pussy Trap, which immediately started to grow rapidly.

"Whoa! Hey, that's, that's too much! Stop! Hey wait a minute! Can we talk about this?" It screamed and then there was an enormous explosion.

The girls all got up off the floor, which was covered with a thick layer of vegetation and rainbow colored vaginal discharges. Big Macintosh wiped his face and looked at AJ. "Hey, is some of this yours?" She shrugged and tried to ignore him.

Fluttershy ran up to Big Macintosh and tripped over her outrageously long mane. Then they want back to normal, causing Rarity to breathe an extra loud sigh of relief.

Rarity and Applejack kissed tenderly. Fluttershy and Big Macintosh held hooves and headed for Fluttershy's closet. Angel chewed on a piece of lettuce and wrinked his nose, looking miserable.

Rainbow Dash looked down at her empty wrist. "Look, time for another cleaning!" and zipped away.

Pinkie walked up to Twilight and pulled a snack out of thin air. "Twinkie?"

Twilight grinned. "Anytime is the right time for a Twinkie."

And in Fluttershy's backyard, a strange little plant grinned.

THE END?

Little clop,
Little cloppa horrors.
Little clop,
Little cloppa terror.
Gotta clop.
Little cloppa horrors.
No, oh, oh, no-oh!

"Anything girls?" Applebloom asked.

"Nah!" said Sweetie Belle.

"Nope!" said Scotaloo. "Man, we're NEVER gonna get our cutie marks at this rate!"

"Ah well, we'll just have to trah somethin' else. Hey,! Ah just found this weird little plant! Maybe we'all should trah fer our hortyculture cuties marks!"

"Sweet!" yelled Scootaloo.

"Can I see?" cried Sweetie Belle.

"Cutie Mark Crusaders Horticulture cutie marks!" all three called in unison...