The arrival of a Mary-sue
Author's Note
I know, there are probably quite a few stories to do with Twilight and fanfictions, but I figured that this would be fun. Also, sorry for the terrible cover-art. I'm lazy :P
The arrival of a Mary-sue
Twilight sat calmly at the computer, her hooves poised above the keyboard. A pair of eager, excited eyes flickered over the last paragraph she had written, and she gave a contented smile. Perfect, it was so enrapturing, so…so perfect! Spike came downstairs from the upper section of the library, a book tucked under his arm. “What’re you doing there Twi?” he asked, wandering closer to peer at the screen.
“Oh, only writing out a fanfiction so beautiful and flawless, it will make everypony’s eyes bleed!” Twilight giggled, holding a disconcerting amount of joy in the previous sentence.
“Right,” Spike muttered, shooting an eyebrow upwards. He squinted at the wall of text. “Nice, nice…good grammar, decent spelling, and- wait. What, no, it can’t be…” Spike trailed off, releasing the book from his grip. It fell to the floor, pages fluttering open.
“What is it?” Twilight begged to know, her voice panicked and worried.
“Twilight, I’ll be straight with you-”
“But that wouldn't work out for my new fanfics at all!” the princess-to-be cried in desperation. “You see, I've got this brilliant, yet slightly unusual, ship with you and Big-“
“That’s not what I meant!” Spike cut in, blushing. “Your…character is a Mary-sue.”
“Mary-what?”
“A Mary-sue, a main character. They’re these characters that are perfect in every way. They look great, even if they've been in battle or something, nothing bad ever happens to them, or if it does, they instantly avert it, they have an overly tragic past…and worst of all, the amount of mares and stallions they can attract!”
“But…Moonbeam Sugar Beauty Stardust has only been shipped with two stallions and three mares! Well, so far, I mean; in this chapter.” Spike shook his head in dismay and sorrow. He thought…he though Twilight was a pony with innovative and originality? What sort of virus had wormed its way into her brain?
“Well…well, let’s have a read over,” he burbled quickly, eyes hastily flying over the intro to the story, if you could call it that.
My name is Moonbeam Sugar Beauty Stardust, but all ten of my friends simply call me Moonbeam. I have a long, shiny torrent of silky violet hair and a coat as glossy as delicate arctic ice. It is a deep, poisonous purple in coloring. My eyes are glowing orbs of fiery aqua flames. I try to be a good person, but sometimes my evil bat-pony side takes over, overthrowing my pure unicorn persona, spilling a trail of sweet crimson blood in her path. Of course, everyone forgives me, for they know that it is truly not my fault. My elegant, dashing Prince Ice Blade loves me for who I am. I love to read oh-so-much, and the internet adores and praises my fanfictions. All ponies around know I have a great intelligence. The haters are evil and corrupted, so the entirety of the web shuns and ignores them.
“T-Twilight…I…I didn't think you’d stoop this low!” Spike was almost crying and weeping at the horrific sight of the fanfic, as much as he hated to admit it, but for some strange reason, he couldn't help but swivel his head around and resume fighting through the rest of it.
When I was but a young filly, a tragic event occurred. My mother was awfully killed in a blazing house-fire, unfortunately of my own demonic making when my evil side took control and blasted a plume of fire onto our house. I managed to break free of my possession and escape, but my mother was not as lucky. My father has hated me ever since that tragedy, and banished me from his sight. Luckily, due to the arrival of a beautiful floating pegasus with luxuriant, snowy-white hair, I found of my special ancient powers within my soul that could be used to defeat any villain, monster or creature that attempted to mess with me, no matter how corrupted.
“Oh, sweet Celestia. You've gone too far, you’re in too deep, she’s become overpowered.”
“What do you mean?” Twilight questioned a look of mock innocence on her face.
“She defeats a hoard of ginormous dragons with a single blast of magic,” Spike dead-panned, his green eyes dead.
“Y-yeah…but there are far worse cases out there, and you know it, Spike!” she protested frantically, frowning.
“Whatever. Also, you've given her the most tragic back-story possible, posing her father as the bad guy!” he whined, splaying his hands pathetically.
“She was just an innocent little filly! Of course he’s the bad guy, he kicked her out of her own home due to something far beyond her control!”
“SHE BURNT THE HOUSE DOWN AND KILLED HER MOTHER!” Spike cried in distressed anguish. “WHAT WOULD YOU DO?!” Twilight was silent.
“Twilight, she’s practically you with a slightly tweaked appearance.”
“No way!”
“I love to read? The whole glorified fanfiction thing? At one point, you even mentioned that she was being trained by Princess Sunbutt to become a princess and learn the magic of love!” he wailed, stomping furiously.
“That’s nothing like me!” Twilight argued, her face flushing slightly red in the heat of the rage.
“All of her friends admire her like she’s a god! Kings and Queens bow down to her like servants, and the bad guys are the only people that hate her!”
“Well I guess you must be a bad guy then,” Twilight hissed, a scowl screwing up her mouth. Alarmed, but refusing to let it show, Spike glared up at her. He was…a little scared, to be honest. He’d never had such a heated argument with Twilight before.
“Fine,” he muttered, crossing his scaly arms and turning away from the angry unicorn at the computer.
“I’m still publishing it though,” Twilight said, her voice followed by the swift clicking of a mouse. “Ha-ha! It’s done!” Spike clenched his pointed teeth, claws digging into his scales. Why was Twi being so arrogant all of a sudden? It was probably because her last fanfic had been so immensely popular and famous. She simply believed that she could just earn that same respect by writing any old thing.
It took an agonizing hour of anxious pacing from Twilight and a comforting bowl of jewels for Spike, but finally the story had been, miraculously, accepted and posted up for the whole community to see and judge, and the internet was certainly not kind. Spike cringed discreetly behind Twilight’s back, worried about her reaction to the responses to her story, if it could even be called one.
“Look, Spike, I’ve got a comment!” Twilight announced smugly, checking it out instantly. Spike shuffled reluctantly over, squinting towards the comment box.
“This thing sucks. Was it written by a filly?”
Twilight’s eyes became purple pin-pricks. The stuffy temperature of the library seemed to plummet to the minus side. Her mouth worked silently in an attempt to speak.
“W-What…?”
“I’m sorry to say this, Twi, but I told yo…” Spike was cut off as a cheery pinging sound alerted the unicorn that there was a new comment.
“I just took the Mary-sue test on that atrocity Moonbeam. She got 239, and 50 is the sign of having an absolutely terrible Mary-sue.”
“I… I can’t believe my story has dropped to the degrading point of a…an extreme Mary-sue.” Twilight’s lip trembled pitifully.
“It’s ok, Twi. There’s always a chance to start over, try again. It’s never too late to improve,” Spike encouraged the whimpering pony, patting her back in the friendly way he always had when Twilight moped.
“Yeah, you’re right, Spike,” she sniffed with a weak smile, straightening out her back. Twilight exited out of the comment section and opened up a new document to begin typing in.
“What’s that for?” Spike asked, confused.
“I’m gonna make a sequel to my story! And this time, there’ll be even more hot scenes to please the masses!”
