E.G.G.P.O.N.Y.

Eggman sat in his comically tall velvet chair, sipping tea in front of a fireplace while wearing an equally comical velvet robe and ascot.

He sipped.

And sipped again.

And then he took something that was too large to be called a sip, but not necessarily big enough to be a gulp.

And then he sipped again.

Suddenly he stood straight up out of his chair and flung his teacup against the fireplace with a loud grunt of exertion, listening to it sizzle satisfactorily.

"Curse that little blue pestilence!" he announced vehemently to his library, "even in my Me-Time he invades my every thought! This is tortuous!"

His energy from the tea spent, he sunk back down into his special relaxation chair and festered, "Every one of my plans, Ev-ry sINgle One! Foiled! ...I need a new plan, something big! Something convoluted! Something that will end the blue menance once and-"

"Dr. Eggman," a tinny robotic voice interrupted his ranting.

Eggman looked down next to his chair to find one of his small robotic butlers. The urgency light on it's head was blinking rapidly orange - the complementary color of blue.

"What?" Eggman demanded, "cant you see I'm ranting about my arch nemesis?"

"Sir, I-I-I just came to inform you, sir," the butler stammered nervously.

(Eggman had knowingly programmed nervousness into all his robot butlers because he loved it when people feared him. Unfortunately this has lead to him finding more than one love shrines dedicated to him built by his robots and many "notice me senpai" notes stuck in various places left for him)

"What is it? Spit it out!" Eggman demanded, quickly losing his mental rage tangent aimed at Sonic.

Sonic!

"Well?" Eggman slammed his fist onto the armrest of his fancy velvet chair.

The butler flinched at the slamming and spat out, "Y-y-your astronomer robots have discovered a new planet within warping distance of Earth, sir,-"

"Is that all? We find those all the time!" Eggman turned away, gesturing dismissively, "Begone! I'm ranting."

"N-not just that, sir," the butler said, wheeling his way around to the front of the chair, "We've discovered life on it!"

Eggman sat up in his chair, "What kind of life? More Wisps?"

"No sir, it's....well, it's ponies, sir," the butler explained awkwardly.

"Ponies?" Eggman breathed disbelievingly, letting out hoots and chortles and other forms of laughter, "Bahaha! Ponies? Really?"

"Yes sir!" The butler said eagerly, "Sentient, verbally communicative, societally advanced ponies! With the capabilities for flight, large scale agriculture, and biological quantum dislocation!"

Eggman stopped laughing. "...Is that so?" he said, standing up from his chair again. "Societally advanced..." he stood for several more moments, pantomiming a teacup to help him muse thoughtfully.

The butler stood at his heels, unsure of what to do.

Eggman cracked a devious smile as his eyeglasses twinkled with the beginnings of a plan, "Well, maybe it's time I tried taking over some other planet than Earth...wouldn't you say?"

"U-uhh," the butler responded noncommittally.

"Because, of course," Eggman reasoned quickly, "on a planet full of ponies...there's no room for a...hedgehog, don't you agree?"

"Y-yes?" the butler answered warily.

Eggman spun on his bunny slippered heels, "Make ready the necessary preparations! I think I'd like to observe this planet...personally."

"Yes sir!" the butler said, speeding off.

Eggman nodded and turned back to the fire, musing further on what sort of dictatorship he could sustain on the backs of a highly intelligent pony species.

Eggman suddenly started with a realization, "Swig!"

The butler stopped, "S-sorry, sir?"

Eggman looked over his shoulder, "Halfway between a sip and a gulp! The word is, 'Swig'!"

The butler looked at him, unsure of what to do with this information.

"GO!" Eggman ordered, "And alert the genetics department! I think I'll be in need of...a disguiiiiise," he said with an evil smile.

"Yes sir!" the butler saluted, speeding off out of the library.

Eggman named the new planet Robotnikland, or RBK-1, as it was the one and only planet orbiting it's star. His geneticists had done a quick study on the biology of the pony species, and Eggman himself had designed an android in accordance with their notes, with his own personal flair added in.

His body was now floating in a tube of oxygenated perfluorocarbon, hooked up to life support and wearing a sophisticated EEG helmet so that he could control the android remotely with his mind, and he was now standing in front of a mirror, inspecting his creation.

His pony android had trim, charcoal fur, while his mane was left spiky, unruly, and auburn to make the color of his glorious mustache. The mustache itself, however, could not be ideally replicated on the pony snout, and thus his mug was left conspicuously shaven.

(still, it was nice to have hair on tOp of his head again. it's been so many years...)

Yet Eggman had no further complaints on his design. It didn't look anything like a pony from Earth, but then again he wasn't trying to look like a pony from Earth. He wanted to look like a pony from RBK-1.

Eggman made his pony face smile deviously and said in his own voice, "mission accomplished."

"Sir," another robot butler said, appearing next to his feet. In his delivery appendages he held two items which would give the android just that eggman flair he was looking for.

Eggman took the items gratefully and put them on, admiring himself in the mirror again.

Now, his pony android was fully decked out in a red and gold jacket like his very own, tailored to fit on the pony body, and his unnaturally large eyes were hidden behind an extra large pair of blue glasses, just like his very own.

"Excellent!" Eggman cheered, "This disguiiiise is perfect!"

He turned to the delivery robot and gestured grandly with his hoof, "Ready the warp station! It's time to show these ponies their new leaderrrrr." he growled with a great big evil smile.

"Y-yes sir!" the butler saluted, and sped off.

Eggman turned to where his body was floating in a chamber of liquid and put his hoof on the glass, "In due time, this will be the form that those ponies will be bowing down to." he vowed.

Eggman stepped back, turned, and walked towards the warp zone.