Twilight Sparkle's diary

by ScarletandLunaRcool

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life
Length: 285

Ponyville is a town of idiots, and Twilight isn't sure she likes living there...

Ponyville is a town of idiots, and Twilight isn't sure she likes living there.

(WARNING: SWEARS)

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-31 22:29:24 UTC

Why, Celestia? (Pilot)

Summer 31, 130

Okay, so, a few days ago, I was reading (What else would I be doing?), and apparently, 1,000 years ago, Nightmare Fucking Moon was banished. So, I sent a letter to Celestia saying, "Oh, you might want to look into that," and what did she say? What did she fucking say?!?!?! "Go and make some friends, you read too much." Then she sent me to Ponyville, a.k.a. Dumpyville Mc. Backwater, and had me, "Check out the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration," and, "Make some friends." My Faust, she's batshit insane! (Lucky she won't read this) Anyhoof, after I arrived, I decided to check out the Food Manager, or whatever her name was, but ran into some idiotic pink mud pony who was drunk or something. I mean, I said hello, and she gasped and sprinted off. What the fuck?!?!?! So, after running into Drunk Idiot Mud Pony, I set off for Sweet Apple Acres, apparently the Food Capital of Ponyville. I walk in, and this orange mud pony with this dumpy mane walks up, and nearly breaks my hoof! Then she and her mud pony family try to kill me by over feeding me, (Or maybe they were just idiots. I mean, they are mud ponies) and I barely escape. Then  I go to check on the Weather Manager (Seriously, who comes up with these names?), and it's this Rainbow-Maned Air Head who doesn't give a shit about work. Seriously, Unicorns really are the master race. So, I met Air Head because she crashed into me, knocking me into a mud puddle! Then, she absolutely RUINS my mane, and clears the sky in 10 seconds. Not that impressive.