When The Saints Come Marching In
It was a glorious day in equestria, everything was calm and quiet. Pinkie was sleeping, for like the first time in ever (or at least
in a while.) Applejack was busy with apple buck season. Rarity had to cater to the new trend for those stupid hipsters. Fluttershy
was busy tending to her animals. Rainbow was busy being rainbow, and twilight was experimenting with portals. Which was stupid
of her, what was she trying to do, bring aptaure science to equestria? How thoughtful of her, lets just throw all of my friends into
some kind of death trap science experiment, but that's getting off track. Apologies. Anyways, she was doing experiments with
portals anyhow. She was close to a breakthrough. The portal was getting bigger and bigger. What would happen? She thought to
herself. Well, soon she had her answer. Nothing! The portal simply collapsed in on itself and left her wondering, what went wrong?
She shrugged it off. Knowing that now all answers should be answered. She merely trotted away. Not really caring about the failed
experiment. Which is normally unlike her, but she thought about the consequences that she would face had she did open a portal.
Those consequences doing more bad than good. So how you ask did the saints get into equestria?
Well shut your mouth and keep reading, the best is to come. Possibly, I don't know. Your the one reading! You make the call,
either keep reading or just leave. Oh wait, I'm breaking the fourth wall again. I must stop doing that, I'm already stealing pinkies job. I
don't want to upset her in any way, shape, or form. So I'm going to just get on with the story now. Anyhow, Twilight pondered on
what she would do for the rest of the day, She didn't know, she couldn't really read a book. She read every book in her library!
Cadence was most likely busy dealing with the crystal empire. Celestia was probably jerking off in the corner. Oops, get that out of
your head twilight. Naughty girl, anyhow. She couldn't think of what to do. It then occurred to her that she might be what every pony
calls, bored. Yes twilight sparkle is bored. That most certainly cant be! She must have something to do! Twilight sparkle the
princess of lazers, i mean princess of friendship cant be bored! Speaking of which, how did all of her books come back?
She saw them all burn, with her very own eye holes, I mean eyes. Whatever, point being is that it is impossible for her books
to be back. Come to think of it, who is this man narrating her life? Perhaps Morgan Freeman, or some random human with a good
voice? No? Well that is truly terrible twilight. However, your just going to have to suck it up like a mare. Besides, you've gone
through worse. So shut your mouth, or brain... Shut your brain twilight, I'm in control. [So shut your mouth, or brain... Shut your
brain twilight, I'm in control At least I think, I could be being controlled by some higher power while being in control of twilight! Oh
god, what has my life come to! Contemplating on if there is some kind of higher force controlling my life. I mean whoops, I can't get
religious otherwise I'll get lots of hate, and not advance my writing dream at all. Not a single bit, I'll be forced to actually focus on
things that matter like getting into a good collage, and getting a good job, and starting a good family with good children. Who
always do good things in their life. So that they can grow up, and go to a good collage, and have good lives. What am I even talking
about?! This is supposed to be a fanfic not a diary! Dear fanfic, today i wrote some shit that wont matter in my future. I hope i get
super popular and stuff so I can afford nice things in my life. What am i even talking about? God dammit this is supposed to be a
serious fanfic! People are gonna get mad now! Everyone is gonna get mad! No one is gonna like this anymore! God dammit i failed
you all! I failed everyone! Wait, I just realized, I'm having a mental breaking down in the middle of my fanfic.... Sweet.
I mean uh.... Stuff. Anyhow, she didn't see a point to it all. She thought, ya know. I wanna see celestia jerking off in the
corner. I mean, its something i could use against her if i wanted to take over the world. Well, equestria. Take over equestria, its
something i could use! Well twilight, your wrong. Gotta set your expectations a lot lower twilight. You'll never become princess of
equestria. Maybe you'll be a worker or someone who works at some fancy restaurant and kiss ass for money. Maybe you'll be a
lighting mare at a porn shoot. What i mean by that is you just hold a flashlight up as adults do things. Wait hold on readers, I'm
being yelled at by my superiors. I'll be right back....... Okay sorry. They had issues with what i just said, So scratch everything i
said. Act like you didn't read it. No, don't write it on a piece of paper and then import my story to your own thing. No don't do. DON'T
DO IT. Aw, you did it anyways. Oh well, its against the rules anyways, so i win! Anyhow, where was i? Ah yes. Twilight really did
want to see celestia jerking off in the corner. But decided against it, seeing as this is not a clop fic. But rather a serious fanfic,
seriously. This is a serious fanfic. You got problems with that, there's a door right there. Just walk out... No wait i didn't mean it
awww.... shit. Anyways, twilight started to question the very fabric of everything which as we all know isn't good at all. Right before
she came to a conclusion, a loud noise like the fabric of space and time ripping sounded right outside her window. She looked out
her window, only to fine some kind of worm hole in equestria. That my friends, is how the saints got to equestria.