Ponies In Space

by EverlastingKnightmare

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Random, Princess Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, Princess Luna, Original Character, Trixie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 5942

In the year 1977 A.S. (After Sparkle) the Lunar Republic still rules, as does the equally-powerful, yet underrated Coal and Oil Superpowers of Equestria, or COSE, until several long-forgotten ponies emerge from the darkness: Celestia, Twilight Sparkle, and the old king Father Night. Join these hero's as they try to stop the Lunar Republic and COSE from doing whatever it is there doing.

A story from the mind of Fleetwood_Brougham and written by myself. Please enjoy.

Published 2012-04-09 18:34:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-15 21:36:56 UTC

it begins, and stuff

“Right, LIGHT IT UP!” A pony yelled up to a platform to a few others. One of them nodded and flipped a switch, the large ship it the dock area came to life, its engines glowed showing that it was ready to take flight until something sparked. “What happened?” The pony called up to the others.

“Something’s wrong! It’s not responding!”

“Well fix it! If we can’t get this thing to work we have to build a whole new one!” He growled and looked at the ship, it started making a humming noise that was all to known by everypony. “EVERYPONY OUT! THIS THINGS GOING TO BLOW!” Everypony in the large dock began running towards the doors. The pony looked up to the platform to see the others still there. “GET DOWN YOU FOOLS! ITS GOING TO EXPLODE!” One of them looked down at him and waved.

“WE DON’T HAVE TIME TO GET OUT! RUN!” And he did just that, he ran to the door and pressed a button making it open. He ran through and hit the button on the other side, closing it. He then punched in a code that reinforced the door. He ran down the hall and around the corner to see all of the other ponies there. “Everypony alright?” They all nodded, soon enough the ship inside the large dock let out a thundering noise and the whole base shook as the explosion destroyed the dock and everyone in it. “DAMMIT!” The pony yelled and bucked the wall. “I thought for sure that would work! Now we have to hire more engineers!” Some of the other ponies looked scared of this one.

“Fleetwood sir Luna is here! And she looks mad!” A voice came over a intercom. Fleetwood walked over to a device on the wall and hit a button.

“Tell her I’ll be in my office.” He sighed and began walking through the complex until he came to a fancy looking door with two guards at each end. He walked in and looked around, it was a bit old western in his office. He walked over to a painting and took it off the wall to reveal a safe put into the wall. He put in a quick code and opened it, he quickly too out a rather large bag of bits and set it on his desk. He then jumped up into his chair and waited. Soon enough a dark mist covered the floor and rose up into a pony type being, the mist cleared and there stood princesse Luna with a angry glare on her face.

“FLEETWOOD BROUGHAM! YOU HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO!” She used her royal Canterlot voice and blew a few things off his desk, excluding the bag of bits.

“Your Majesty, its wonderful to see you again, I do apologize for the explosion earlier but given enough time I will have-” He was cut off by Luna’s FOS RO DAH type of voice.

“I HAVE BEEN WAITING LONG ENOUGH FOR THAT SHIP AND YOU GO AND BLOW IT UP! GIVE ME A REASON WHY I SHOULDN’T END YOU!” He cleared his throat and pushed the bag of bits forward with his hoof. Luna looked at the bag a moment then picked it up with her magic and opened it to look inside. She slowly let a grin on her face and place the bag on her back. “You have 5 months.”

“Thank you Your Majesty.” He grinned and bowed his head slightly. Luna left with a grin and the bits.

HOLY SHIT COLD! That was all I thought as the pod opened slowly. I went face first into the ground, my teeth chattering. “F-f-FUCK!” I yelled getting up, shivering.

[*Yawn* Morning guys, what did I miss?]

[FUCK WHY IS IT SO COLD!?]
{THAT’S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW!}

I looked around the room with a glare seeing if anyone was around to send to the moon. “Hello? Anypony here?” The room stayed quiet as I walked around.

[I hope there’s no monster under the desk or on the ceiling.]
{Jinx it one more time motherfucker and I swear I will-}

I sighed and looked at what I thing was the door, but it had no knob.

[Dude remember those space movies?]
{Ya?}
[Press a button on the side.]

I looked for the button and found one, big and red. “Sweet.” I smiled and pressed it with my hoof. When it opened there were two stallion’s right there with stunned looks. “Um, mind telling me what is going on and why I was in a freezer?” They did not move. One lifted his hoof to his mouth and I heard a beep.

“Warning, the king is awake, I repeat, the king is awake!” I sat there staring at them blankly.

“Roger that, you may subdue.” Well, shit.

[Fuck man we’er in the future, AND WE ARE TARGETS!]
{}

I jumped back as one of them tried to tackle me. “Halt! I order you to halt!” They ignored me and kept trying to tackle me. “FUCK THIS!” I punched one as hard as I could and sent him into the nearest wall. The other one went wide eyed and looked at me. “Now then, are you going to tell me anything?” He shook his head getting a determined look, trying on last time to tackle me. “Wrong answer.” I punched him into the wall also.

[Duck Nukem can suck it!]
{We are awesome, I have to say.}

I laughed and walked out into the hall.

{What?}

[Seems legit.]

I walked back into the room and took the two stallion’s off the wall, I checked pockets and all the saddlebags and only found a key-card and HOLY SHIT A LAZER PISTOL!

[Aww yea we guna rock the house now!]

I laughed and took one of the saddlebags with me so I could at least put stuff out of the way and everything. I finally left the room, the hall felt a bit crowded, no windows or anything, it was also empty. “GAH! I’m so bored! I could just- h hey a door!” I cheered as I bounced over to the door and hit the button to open it. I was surprised to see that it opened to a desert type landscape, I mean there was grass and trees but hey it was still a bit empty. I heard a car in the distent’s and decided to hitch a ride.

[Fuck that just jack the car!]

{I’m going with New on this one.}
[Pussy...]

I ran up to the road flailing my hooves like I was dieing. The car slowed to a stop right in front of me [Like a boss] and out came the two I would least expect. “Snips? Snails?” They both had a shocked yet happy face.

“Hey Snips, is that who I think it is?” Snails looked at Snips.

“If you start talking like I’m not here I’m sending you both to the moon free of charge.” I growled, they both gulped and Snips looked at me.

“Um, hey there Night, we kinda wondered where you went.” I sighed.

[OH PLEASE LET ME PUNCH ONE OF THEM! PLEASE!]
{No, we need a ride.}

“Ya I want to know too, can you two give me a ride to a town near by?” Snails, who was driving, nodded and got back in the car.

“Dude let him ride up front.” He called out to Snips.

“What!? Why!?”

“Cause he can really hurt us!” Snips ‘oh’ed and got in the back. I laughed silently to my self as I walked to the side and got in, it smelled like soda and pizza!

[Sweet, maybe if we hang with these two we can get into some party’s!]
{Maybe later, I want to know what happened.}

Snails turned on the car and hit the gas, speeding down the road. “HOLY SHIT! THIS CAN’T BE THE SPEED LIMIT! SLOW THE HELL DOWN! AHHHHHH!” I complained the whole way! [And might I add with was pretty damn funny!

Once we stopped ad found the nearest trash can and let loss the lunch I never ate. “I hate you two...” I muttered. When I got up I saw them laughing their ass’s off. “I’l end you two...... What the hell happened?” I looked around the town which I remembered as Ponyville, it looked like...........Full Moon mind for a little help? [A compleat shit hole.] Thank you. I walked back over to Snips and Snails. “Is there anyplace I can crash for the night?” They both nodded.

“You could stay with one of us-” Snips said as Snails picked up.

“Or you could go to that new inn they got up next to town.” He pointed with his horn the the north.

[Sines when do we get earth quacks in the north!?]
{HA!}

I turned and started walking north. “Thanks for the offer but I’ll stay at the inn.” They nodded and I walked out of sight. “Boy those two look a lot older. I must have been out for a while.” I kept going until I saw a old run down looking inn. “Thats suppose to be new? Oh well it’ll do.” I walked up to it and opened the door. It smelled worse then it looked.

[GAH! BURN IT ALL WITH FIRE!]

[Meh, still.]

I walked up to the counter and place a few bits on it. “Room for the night please?” The old looking pony smiled and took the bits, she then levitated a key over to me.

“Here ya go hun.” I must have been forgotten cause around the lobby I was getting glares like I was a bad guy or something. I walked up the stairs and found my room, slipping the key in the keyhole [Hehehe] and opening the door. I looked around the old time room, it’s not that bad in here to tell the truth. I was tired as all hell and the bed looked inviting.

[Finally we don’t have to sleep with frosty nuts.]

{Ha.} I jumped onto the bed and sighed, closing my eye. I would find everything out in morning.

INTO SPACE!

[url=Music starts]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BmEGm-mraE

I woke with a start, there was a loud noise coming from outside that sounded like a bloody tank going over gravel!

[THEY FOUND US! HIT THE DECK!]
{Calm down full, let’s go check it out.} I jumped out of the bed and looked out the window. Oh shit I was right it is a tank! Well a few of them but thats not the point . I walked out of my room and down the hall to the stairs when I over heard some of the patrons talking.

“Looks like the rebels are here, what do you think they want.”

“Ain’t cookies, thats for damn sure.”

“Don’t be a smart ass!”

“I’m smart, and I’m a ass, I can’t help it.”

“You idiots! their here to refuel the tanks!” They all let out a ‘oh’ and went back to playing that card game I would never get.

[For the love of pony hell these guys have gotten a bit stupider ever sines we went to sleep.]
{Your right, must be in the air or something.}

I laughed and walked down the stairs and out the door to avoid glares. When I stepped out I saw the tanks in a line, so I walked the way they were lined up and found a gas station where a guy in some old looking army uniform from the civil war. “Um, hey.” I called walking up to him. “Whats all this?” He looked at me as if I was stupid.

“We’er refueling the tanks so they wont, you know, STOP during battle.” I looked at him a moment then face hoofed.

“No I mean what are they being used for?” [Fucking idiot!]

“Oh, well these are for the war between us rebels and the Lunar Republic!” Where have I heard that before?

“Alright, thanks.” I turned and walked away. I need to find a bloody bus stop and get some nachos in Canterlot. I was stumbling around for a hour until I found Snips and Snails again, eating some popcorn around that car of theirs. “Yo Snips! Snails!” They turned to me. “No where I can get a ride? Wait! Idea! Are there any flying vehicles?” I was the stupidest pony alive [I amd Full Moon and I approve this!] asking them ifd there are any flying cars! HA! There’s no way there are-

“Ya! You can take the bus to the Manehattan Intergalactic Bus Depot and get a ship up to Space Station 7, up there you can buy a ship!” ............

[OH FUCK YES! DO IT! DO IT! I COMMAND YOU! DO IT!]

{......Alighty then!}

“Thanks fellas!” I then ran to the bus stop as fast as I could as the bus was just getting ready to leave. I jumped on and put a few bits in the small box the driver had by him and took a seat.

[Siting on a bus! Siting on a bus!]

[What? Thats some good traveling music right there!]
{Shut up the both of you!}

I sighed and looked out the window, watching the almost dessert looking landscape roll by.

After about 10 hours the sun was going down and I had to get off this bus before I lose the lunch I never ate again.

[Man we don’t need to eat a lot.]

As the bus slowed down I ran to the front and waited for the doors to open, and when they did I was amazed! This was one of those space movie type things, flying buses taking off and going into orbit [Gum.]! I ran into the building and place a few bits on the counter where a very old mare sat. “Bus to Space Station 7 please.” She smiled and took the bits.

“Bus number 76. Hurry up, it’s about to take off.” I waisted no time running as fast as I could until I saw where it was docked.

“Final call! Get the hell on!” A pony shouted. I bolted up and into the space bus before the doors shut. I took a seat by the window and watched as the bus lifted slowly in the air and spun towards opening doors.

[Here we go!]

We were all acting like little school filly’s with new ribbons! I prodly say that cause I was going to SPACE! SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! I looked to my side and saw Full looking out the window with me but closer, then I looked at New reading a random news paper. I looked back out the window and saw we were outside! HERE WE GO! ADVENTURE!

MAKE IT STOP! I sat in my seat curled up in a ball holding my stomach as we began to land on the medium sized space station. When I heard the door open I Shot out and to the nearest trash can I could find and let lose the acid waters. “WHY SPACE!? WHHHHHHYYYY!?” I cried as I let lose some more stomach pie. A random pony walked past me.

“First timer?” I nodded still in the trash bin. “Good luck getting down!” I let lose and yell of rage as the pony ran down the hall laughing.

[Get yourself together man! We have a space ship to buy!]
{Right.......One more.}

I let lose another flood and got up. “Ok I’m good. Now let’s go by a space ship!” I bounced down the hall happily.

“That the guy who broke out of cryo prison?” A random pony dressed in a police uniform pointed at a screen with Father Night on it.

“Thats the one! He even took on of their bags!” Another pointed out.

“Alright, I’ll send a detachment down there to subdue him then we’ll send him right on back.” The first one pressed a button.

Here it is! Oh and there’s one for sale!

[Fuck that get a war ship!]

[Oh, get something with lazer’s!]
{Can do!}

I walked in and looked around, all the ships were holographic and stuff! They must be stored somewhere else. “Hello!” I turned to see a pony in a suit and a huge grin. “Can I help you?”

“Naw, just browsing.” He nodded and turned away from me to walk back to the counter. I kept looking around until I saw one, it was simple and had two firing points on the front! “Hello my good sir!” I called to the pony in the suit. “I would like this one!” He smiled wider and bounced over.

“Very good sir! That will be 9,000 bits please!” I reached into my saddle bag and with the powers of awesome pulled out a large bag.

“Here you go!” He looked at me in shock but smiled and took the bag.

“Alright then! Let me go get you card key and you can be on your way!” He ran over to the counter with me following slowly. He ducked behind the desk and popped back out with a card in his mouth, I took it with my magic and put it in my bag. “You have a wonderful day sir!” I nodded and walked out of the stor with a smile on my face.

[Was it really that easy? Holy shit.]

And as if the universe diden’t hate me enough I heard sirens. “Duh fuck...” I turned and saw FUCKING COP CARS COMING RIGHT AT ME!

[CHEESE IT! IT’S THE FUZZ!]

I turned tail and bolted down the hall at full speed. “SHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHITSHIT!” I chanted as I ran around the halls away from the coming cop cars. I pulled the card out of my bag and looked at it, dock 9! Got to get to dock 9! The cars were getting closer and closer and I don’t think flying would help! I saw a colt riding a hover bored laughing without a care in the world. “HEY KID!” He looked at me wide eyes. “300 BITS FOR THE BORD!” His eyes got wider and he nodded. He jumped off of it and I droped a bag of bit by him. “Thanks kid!” He nodded and took the bag of bit in his mouth. I jumped up on the bored and looked ahead. “BACK TO THE FUTURE STYLE! AWAY!” I flapped my wings and I shot forward.

{[< HOLY SHIT! >]}

I sped down the hall like I was on speed! [Don’t do drugs kids.] I was away from the cops now and getting closer and closer to dock 9! We were going to make it!

Luna watched the whole chase on cameras set up in the station. “FLEETWOOD!” She called, soon enough Fleetwood was right there.

“Yes, your majesty?”

“Father Night is finally unfrozen, it's time we took care of him once and for all. The SS Chevron is leaving at dock 3, get on board and command her against him.” Fleetwood got a disgusted look.

“The Chevron? I HATE that ship! Just think what her sailors could be doing now.... “

By the Chevron the workers were in bridge dancing the robot to the beginning of Disco 79 When Fleetwood opened the door and saw them all. They all stopped and lined up in a salute.

“Fleetwood, Sir!” Fleetwood looked at them all for a moment then facehoofed.

“Start the ship.”

THE HOME RUN! WE ARE ON THE LAST TURN!

[YES! FREEDOM!]

I Turned the corner and sped down the hall and into dock 9. I hit a button that locked the door from this side and ran over to the ship, sweet, sweet ship! I saw the card thing and put the card in it. I heard a dig and the door to the ship opened! “We are out of here!” I laughed and ran in. Being the ideot I am I sat in the main seat and presed a lot of colorful buttons, which worked! The ship rose slowly off the ground amd turned to the door. I heard a voice on the radio thing.

“Ship Bumble Bee approved for take off.”

{[< We need to change the fucking name of this ship...>]} As the doors opened I could hear the cops trying to get through the door. I threw everything to the space wind and hit the ‘go’ button. I shot out of the door and into space. “YES! WE MADE IT! WOOHOO!” I cheered.

“Hello Father Night.” Ah fuck... I screen lowered for the ceiling and showed the face of a pony that looked pissed. “I am Fleetwood of the SS Chevron and I have orders to take you in. Come quietly and we will not destroy your ship.”

“Fuck that! I didn’t do anything wrong!”

“Have it your way.”

Fleetwood turned to his right. “Wilcox, engage tractor beam!” Wilcox nodded and pressed a button, my ship was suddenly going towards the big ass one to my left!

[GAH! DAMMIT I TOLD YOU GUYS!]
{I WARNED YOU ABOUT STAIRS BRO!}
< NO TIME TO MESS AROUND tho that was funny,>
[*Nods*]
Alright let's see........... Aha! I pressed a red button and a lazer shot at the Chevron. It hit where the beam was coming from and stopped me form being pulled in.

[........Yup, we are space fucked.]

The plan made by a drunk pony

[We are fucked,]
{No time to laugh, running.}

Twi and I were running through the temple towards the back exit as the place was coming down. “Hey you think everypony will be alright?” I look over my shoulder at Twilight.

“Meh, they’l be fine.” I stared at her a moment before shrugging and looking back ahead. I saw he exit!

[FREEDOM! Again.]

I kicked down the door and looked around. “Oh my night a motorcycle! I’m driving you get in the side car!” I jumped on it and Twi jumped into the side car.

“Wait arn’t you going to put on a helmet?” She gave me a concerned look as I started the bike.

“Nope!” I laugh like a mad pony and shot down into the sand.

“Fleetwood, sir! They escaped out the back!” Fleetwood’s eye twitched slightly.

“Then let’s get after him! NOW WILCOX!” Wilcox mumbles something before spinning the car around and seeing a highway.

Luna stared at it blankly before saying. “Has that been there the whole time?” Fleetwood and Wilcox nodded slowly before face-hoofing. “GET A MOVE ON!” She ordered making them both jump. “EVERYPONY FOLLOW WITH! WE ARE NOT LETTING HIM GET AWAY!” All the vehicles roared to life and began following Wilcox, Fleetwood, and Luna’s car out onto the highway.

“WE ARE HOME FREE!” I shouted still laughing. Twilight was scared witless, looking forward with wide eyes.

“I NEVER REMEMBER YOU BEING THIS CRAZY!” She shouted over the engine.

“LOOKS LIKE YOU NEVER GOT TO KNOW ME!”

[FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY DON”T HAVE A CASUAL TALK! IT DOS NOT END WELL!]

And Full was right! Lazer’s had started shooting at us from behind. “FUCK!” I yelled and reached into my saddlebag. I gave Twi the lazer pistol. “I HOPE YOUR NOT A PASSIVIST!” She shook her head with a grin.

“NOPE!” With her magic she aimed back and started firing randomly at our followers.

“HOLY SHIT! MOVE!” Fleetwood yelled as a lazer pasted by his head. Wilcox swerved out of the way of a few but behind them their vehicles started to pile up and wreak. “Well, fuck.” Fleetwood muttered.

“OI! NICE SHOT!” I yelled over to Twilight.

“I LEARNED HOW TO SHOOT FROM APPLEJACK!” She yelled back. “BUT WE’RE STILL BEING CHASED!” I look back to see a car speeding towards us. I Look around franticly before spotting a mall.

“QUICK! INTO THAT RANDOMLY PLACED MALL!” He drives off the freeway and looks as tho he is going to crash into the mall but suddenly turns into parking spot.

“FUCK!” Wilcox yelled as he was right behind them when they turned, at the speed he was going there was no stopping.

“WILCOX YOU IDIOT!” Fleetwood and Luna yelled at the same time as the car broke down the front door to the ,all and crashed into a popcorn. The car was turned over. Fleetwood shot up and ran over to Luna.

“Luna! Are you alright?” He crouched next to her as she slowly got up.

“Yes I’m fine.”

“ARGH! IT BURNS! IT BURNS SO MUCH! ARGH THE PAIN!” Luna and Fleetwood looked over at Wilcox who was covered in hot butter and oil.

“Oh don’t be such a baby Wilcox.” Luna’s horn glowed.

“Now that that’s out of the way, let’s go get a drink.” I laughed and walked into the mall where the door use to be.

“That’s was actually very fun.” Twilight laughed along with me as we neared a bar. “So, which one of us is paying?”

“If what I think happens, happens. The neither of us.” I laughed.

[I see what your planning, and I approve.]

{Nothing can go wrong!}

We entered the bar and took a seat by the counter. I looked at the bar keep. “I will have a Skittles please.” He nodded and walked off. Twilight gave me a look.

“That’s some strong stuff, you sure you can handle it?” I nodded with a grin.

“I’m going to have to be drunk off my ass if my plan is going to work.” She gave me a long, confused look before sighing and ordering wine.

After Luna healed Wilcox (To stop his whining) they all decided to go get a drink. Before entering Fleetwood and Luna began talking about something that did not interest Wilcox in the slightest so he just walked in as Night was downing his drink. “THERE YOU ARE! LUNA! FLEETWOOD I FOund..........fuck.” He said right before a bar stool broke on his face. Night stood tall.

Fleetwood, Wilcox, and Luna vs. Drunk Father Night, and Twilight with a light buzz.

[AND BEGIN!]

“BOOM HEAD SHOT! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” He laughs drunk off his ass. Fleetwood took notice and tred to tackle him but Night easily grabbed him and throw him into a wall. Wilcox was up and staring down Twilight.

“Hey, heh, hey Twilight! What would Starswirl The Bearded do now? Run!” Just then Twilight flew across the bar and tackled him, beating him savagely. Fleetwood got up and grabbed a beer bottle and broke the end off on a table.

“Oh, I got you now!” Out of no where Twilight brakes a chair over his head, making him fall over. Luna charged towards Twilight but she threw her agents the wall with her magic.

“LUNA!” Fleetwood get’s up and tackles Twilight, struggling to remain conscious he starts to hit her until he finally passes out. Twilight got up and glared at him before walking over to Night.

“Now what?” She asked him as he swayed a little.

“MY GOOD MAN!” He says in a drunken voice pointing at the bar keeper. “This guy.......This guy right here is going to be paying for everything. Ok? Ok, bye bye now!” He pointed at Fleetwood and began stumbling out the door with Twilight following close behind.

We have Twilight!

The Chevron shook when Father Night’s beam it the ship. “What was that?!” Fleetwood looked down a Wilcox who was looking at a screen.

“A lazer beam, sir!” Fleetwood looked bemused.

“You mean he actually learned how to shoot at us?”

“Yes, sir.”

Fleetwood glared at the screen showing Father Night’s ship. “Well, return fire!” One of the large lazer canons on the ship spun around to aim at Night’s ship when it hit the control tower of the Chevron, denting its haul. A voice came over the intercom.

“Warning, breach in hallway 3.” Fleetwood turned and looked around the bridge.

“Who’s manning that gun?!” A gray mare with blond hair and crossed eyes turned to him for where she sat.

“Me, sir!” Fleetwood stared at her eyes for a moment and leaned in close to Wilcox.

“What’s with her?” Wilcox looked at him.

“She’s a asshole, sir. Major-” He began to crack up. “Major Asshole!” He then began laughing like a mad man when Fleetwood shoved his hoof in Wilcox’s mouth.

“Oh, no, you don't! I'm not being sued by Mel Brooks today! Continue firing-and reassign Derpy to another job!” Wilcox nodded and turned back to his computer.

“Wait, where did he go?” He looked at the screen to see that Father Night had left.

Fleetwood looked at the screen a moment, facehoofed, then “FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-”

[I can not believe that worked! HAHAHAHAHA!]
{Ya! Their not even following us! Thats funny as all hell!}

While they were distracted by the gun hitting the ship I turned tail and ran! I mean this ship ain’t fit for combat!

{Alright kids, let’s land somewhere in Equestria so we can try and hide.}
[Aww but I want to fly around some more!]
{No! We are landing and thats final!}
<[AWWW!]>

I turned the ship around and was met by a bigger ship. “Well, fuck.”

On the large destroyer the pony watching the radar called his commander over. “Commander, wir haben ein kleines Schiff entdeckt, dass Befehl identifiziert hat als Vater Nacht! Sollen wir Feuer auf ihn?” The commander gave him a confused look.

“What?” The radar operator smiled sheepishly.

“Oh, sorry. Commander, we have spotted a small ship that command has identified as Father Night! Should we fire upon him? “ The commander looked at him for a few moments then facehoofed.

“Herman, ever since I gave you that English to German dictionary from me for hearth's warming eve, you've been acting like hot shit! Fire upon the enemy craft!”

Herman did a salute. “Yes, sir.”

“FUCK! THEY ARE POINTING THE CANONS AT US!” I pressed a lot of buttons trying to get the hell out of the wat but it was all in vain as it opened fire and almost all the shots hit my fucking ship! MY NEW FUCKING SHIP! I heard a lot of beeping and stuff so I did the only thing a captan could do!

Go down with the ship agents his will saying a LOT of swear words.

[Censored for all you little kids out there!]

As we got closer and closer the the planet I got more frantic. “WHERE THE HELL AM I LANDING THIS!? GAH!”

{Good idea! Oh this is going to hurt like hell...}

I steered the ship as best as I could to crash in the sand and for once karma felt good to me as landed without much problems. Of course I went head first out of the window of the ship and got stuck for a moment. “Dur furk....” I muttered pulling myself out. “Alright, now to find a place.” I looked around until I saw a rusty sign. “Well what does this say?” I looked at it closely. “Welcome to Marizona?!”

[Well we’re fucked.]

I looked around and saw no roads. “SON OF A BITCH!” I stomped on the sand. “Oh well, let’s find some water.” I began walking through the desert landscape looking for water.

Fleetwood waited by the door as the Chevron landed. “Fool me once shame on me fool me twice shame on you. I’m going to get that bloody king!” He growled as the door’s opened. He jumped out and looked around the desert for any signs of life. “Hmm.” He turned to the door and called. “ALRIGHT YOU GUYS! GET EVERYTHING UNLOADED AND SET UP!” His outfit changed to a wild west villian look. A lot of ponies started unloading vehicles and such. Suddenly Luna showed up in a summer dress.

“Fleetwood, I will be joining you on your hunt.” He nodded as one of the cars, a Cadillac Series 62, was unloaded with Wilcox in the drivers seat.

“Almost done, sir!” He called pulling the car up to them. “Greeting your majesty.” He did a little bow with his head.

“Shut up Wilcox.” She muttered getting in the back. Fleetwood looked at him and grinned.

“Ya shut up Wilcox.”

“Well what the hell did I do?!” Fleetwood shrugged and got in the car. After the other vehicles got unloaded they set off. After a few miles their car stopped moving.

“I know we haven’t found him yet.” Fleetwood glared at Wilcox.

“Um, sorry, the car is stuck.” Luna and Fleetwood glard death at him. Wilcox shover his head out the window. “PUSH THE FUCKING CAR OUT OF THE SAND!” He yelled to some ponies. As soon as they were un-stuck they went on until it got stuck again.

“WILCOX!” Both Luna and Fleetwood shouted.

“Water......Dieing.......Something.” I went face first into the sand as the sun was going down.

[By our beard we are going to die out here!]

{I want one...}

I finally passed the fuck out.

Twilight was out for a random walk when she spotted Father Night. “What the?” She muttered galloping over to him. “NIGHT!?” She picked his passed out ass up. “You don’t look do good, I have to get you back to the temple.” She muttered running back the way she came, as soon as she got to there she was greeted by a sign. It said ‘Marizona Temple of Celestia’. She pushed opened the huge door and walked past all the shocked ponies as they stared at her carrying Night’s passed out form. She got to a empty room and splashed a bowl of water, which was on a table beside the bed, on his face.

“WHAA! COLD!” I flinched at the sudden coolness as it splashed over me. “What the he- TWILIGHT!” I lunched forward and grabbed her in a hug. “I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SEE YOU AGAIN! or anypony for that matter.” I let her go and back up. “So what go’s on?” She thought for a moment then looked up at me.

“Well I run a temple now, one of the last few for that matter.” I nodded and looked around.

“Nice place, I must say.” She laughed and nodded.

“Ya, why just the other day I-”

[Oh my god talking for no reason! Shit is going to hit the fan!]
<{3....2.....1....}>

Just then a sudden crash shook the building. “Eeyup! I knew it! They found me!” Twilight looked at me blankly.

“I have a new found hatred for you...” I laughed.

“Just a normal Monday then!”

“Keep firing!” Fleetwood ordered the Afrika Ponies to keep firing. [No duh shit head.]

Luna sat there and watched the temple start falling to pieces.

“What are we suppose to do now!?” Twilight glared at me.

“It's alright, I know how these si-fi fics go: You hold them off while I get away. Thanks!” She watched me a moment then started following.

“Hell no, I'm coming with you!”

It's finally done! YES! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAA!