Starswirl and the Purple Terror

by ValdimarGreen

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 14331

Starswirl the Bearded is not used to dealing with fans, not surprising since he never had one before. But when a certain purple unicorn of the distant future discovers time traveling, Starswirl soon finds his comfortable days coming to an abrupt end.

Starswirl the Bearded is not used to dealing with fans, not surprising since he never had one before. But when a certain purple unicorn of the distant future discovers time traveling, Starswirl soon finds his comfortable days coming to an abrupt end.

Featured 7th Jul 2014! So much glory... what do I do with it all?
Chapter 1 of the sequel is out.

Published 2014-06-30 21:10:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-08-02 22:51:59 UTC

Day 1,2 and 3

Starswirl and the Purple Terror

By ValdimarGreen

Day 1

The chalk moved over the blackboard, outlining the basic relation between nexus acceleration and the magical fields angular momentum. Starswirl the Bearded frowned, something was missing… but what? He glanced at the list of data collected from the experiments this morning. Nope, something was definitely wrong… either with his own measurements or with the equation itself. Dismissing the former as impossible, he shot a glare at the offending equation. Its was complete jibber jabber, the simpleton who had discovered the relation must have limited his range of tests to weak acceleration only.

Starswirl swore loudly and flung the chalk across the room. He would have to go back through all the work he had ever done using the equation and add the notation: Results only reliable with acceleration less than two solar units per square second. Starswirl the Bearded took a deep breath, as he tried in vain to quell his rage. This is what he got for relying on the work of other ponies.

Since the breathing exercises hadn't produced any real result, Starswirl decided that writing a strongly worded letter was the only solution. He would make it a really nasty one with words such as: nincompoop, lummox and flibbertigibbet. Starswirl rubbed his hooves together in eager anticipation. It was time for a reckoning.

He wouldn't actually send it of course, but he liked to pretend that he would.

Suddenly there was a flash of white light behind him. He spun around and saw a dazed looking purple unicorn sitting on the carpet. Who was this? Where had she come from? The window? He somehow doubted it, he had built his mage tower three times taller than normal for the express purpose of discouraging visitors.

He eyed the unicorn warily, she was probably selling something. And whatever it was, he wanted no part of it.

The purple unicorn, coming out of her daze and noticing Starswirl, shot to her hooves. “Hello my name is Twilight Sparkle,” she said excitedly.

Starswirl opened his mouth to reply, but was immediately interrupted as a stream of words gushed out of the mare, “Oohh and its really you, I can’t believe the spell actually worked. But it did! And here you are! Or rather here I am! Twilight Sparkle, but I already said that didn't I. Silly me! It’s such an honor to finally meet you, I'm your biggest fan.” She seemed to realize that she was babbling and went quiet.

Starswirl blinked, his mind quickly sorting through the new information. “You are my biggest… what now?”

“Fan,” she replied, eyes glittering, “Deriving from the word fanatic, it describes a pony with enthusiastic devotion in regards to something. Like a nice stalker that's not creepy at all.”

“I see...” Starswirl said slowly, as he took a careful step backwards. “So... what do you want?” he asked before mentally adding, Please let it be something minor… He had never been any good at dealing with ponies, especially mares. The fact that he apparently had a stalker of said gender, wasn't a little unsettling.

“Oh its nothing really!” Twilight said, waving a dismissive hoof, “I just want to observe you, while you work. Don’t worry, I will be quiet as a mouse. You won't even know I'm here.”

Starswirl shivered, he did not like the sound of that, not one bit. He needed to dissuade her, “Now listen here…” He was interrupted as the purple unicorn rushed past him and stared up at the blackboard.

“Oh wow! Is that your beginning analysis of THE magical field acceleration problem?” she asked.

“Yes...” he replied cautiously, “But how do you know about that?”

“I'm your biggest fan, remember? I know everything you ever did or will ever do!” Twilight said with a big grin.

“But how is that even possible?” Starswirl asked, baffled.

Twilight turned to him excitedly, “Oh, didn’t I say? I'm from the future. I combined my own teleportation spell with with your time travel one! Of course, since I needed something with longer duration, I had to encase it all in a 5-layered spellmatix for the extra power to be effectively utilized.”

Starswirl stared at the purple unicorn in shock. Time travel? Teleportation? A FIVE layered spellmatrix? They were all impossible, he had dismissed each one of them in the early stages of development.

Twilight blinked, taking in Starswirl's reaction. Then she sat down, slapping her forehooves over her mouth. “Oh no, I wasn’t supposed to tell you that, was I? You haven't discovered them yet...”

“What else have I discovered?” Starswirl asked.

“Nothing” she replied quickly, her eyes looking everywhere but at Starswirl.

Starswirl frowned before he opened his mouth to ask again. But he was interrupted as the purple unicorn began glowing. She grinned sheepishly, “Looks like my time is up. But don’t worry, I will be back!”

And with a ‘poof’ she was gone. Starswirl stared at the spot for a long moment. Well, that had definitely been time travel or at least teleportation. Wait… was she planning on just popping in on him whenever she felt like it? Starswirl felt a rising dread within him, how was he supposed to deal with this?! After thinking hard for a few moments, he allowed himself a small smile, he would simply approach it the same way he approached all new problems; with a brainstorm chart and a lot of coffee.

Day 2

Starswirl levitated the chalk over the blackboard, trying desperately to ignore Twilight Sparkles intense stare from behind him. He had been such a fool, after eight cups of coffee the day before he had concluded; that telling her to sod off, was the only reasonable solution. But when he had tried to do it however, her eyes seemed to grow larger and brighter. He could have sworn that there had been actual stars twinkling inside… Anyway, he hadn’t had the heart to go through with it, and had instead ended up giving her leave to come and go as she pleased. And now he was paying the price.

The chalk slowly traced the beginnings of a number three on the board. There was a loud throat clearing behind him. One of Starswirl's eyes twitched, he erased the number three and wrote the number four instead. “Uhhumm uhhhheeeem,” came the sound again.

Starswirl spun around, “Is there something amiss, Miss Sparkle?”

The purple unicorn looked taken aback, “NO, of course not! Why would there be?”

Starswirl narrowed his eyes at her. She looked a bit sheepish before amending, “Okey, maybe there is just this teeny tiny thing… ”

“What?” Starswirl asked from behind gritted teeth.

“Thirteen times four is fiftytwo,” Twilight replied awkwardly.

Starswirl felt himself blush with embarrassment. Bollocks.

Day 3

“What did you base solar units on anyway? I only know they were abandoned after three hundred years for being imprecise,” Twilight said, frowning.

“You must be mistaken,” Starswirl replied sounding annoyed, “There can’t possibly be a more precise unit of measurement since its based on the immortal and eternal Princess Celestia.”

“It is?” Twilight asked, sounding intrigued.

“Yes, one solar unit, is the precise distance between the Princesses chest and her rump.” Starswirl replied.

The purple unicorn was silent for a long moment as she processed that. “What if she begins gorging herself on cake?”

“What is ‘cake’ ?” Starswirl asked.

“Nevermind, its nothing,” Twilight said “I guess they haven't been discovered yet”.

Starswirl turned back to his work, “Then, could you please refrain from further interruptions, I'm trying to work here.”

Day 5

Day 5

“How come you never have any visitors?” Twilight Sparkle asked. “I understand that a scientist needs a calm and orderly study environment. But I thought that at least Clover the Clever would be around.”

Starswirl , absorbed in the work of measuring up different fluids and powders for a coming chemistry experiment, took a moment to respond, “Who?”

“Clover the Clever,” Twilight repeated.

Something clicked in Starswirl's mind and he spun around to face Twilight. “CLOVER? Since when was that little abomination ever clever?!” he growled.

Twilight took a step back, taken aback by his anger. “But… what? Shes not your apprentice then?”

Starswirl laughed without mirth, “Apprentice? APPRENTICE? Over my dead body!” he snarled, “If Miss Rosebud were to force me to babysit her again, I would rather jump off the roof and spare myself the suffering!”

“Rosebud?” Twilight asked, looking even more confused than before.

“My neighbor, and the mare responsible for bringing the little abomination into this world.” Starswirl replied. “Believe me that little filly has it out for me, she keeps breaking my windows and leaving things on my lawn.” Starswirl was warming to the subject as he continued, “ She even snuck into my tower once and put a bucket of water on top of my bedroom door! And worst of all; she keeps giving me these smug self-satisfied smiles whenever her mother isn't looking.”

“I'm sure she can’t be that bad,” Twilight replied soothingly, “Maybe I could talk to her.”

“Be my guest,” Starswirl said as he turned back to his work.

Starswirl worked in blessed silence without interruptions for almost a whole half hour, before Twilight returned. Her mane disheveled and muddy, her body covered in nicks and bruises. Her eye darting from side to side as if expecting an attack. Locking the door behind her, she seemed to relax a bit.

She looked over at Starswirl from across the room, “That little filly is CRAZY!”

Day 6

Day 6

Starswirl heard the now familiar pinging sound, announcing Twilight's arrival. He didn't know what to think of the purple unicorn that had been materializing in his study everyday, for almost a week now. It had been both annoying and awkward from the beginning. He had done his best to act natural, but it was hard especially when she got too close or when she held eye-contact for too long. On the other hoof, she was also both brilliant and well-educated, allowing him to talk to her freely without worrying if she understood or not. In fact, looking past her weirdness, she wasn't too bad. Still, everything would have been a lot easier if she had been a stallion.

Starswirl retied the scroll he had been studying and turned around to greet his guest. He froze, Twilight Sparkle wasn't alone, next to her stood a pink earthpony, her blue eyes staring at Starswirl with the intensity of a predator whom had just spotted a prey.
Starswirl looked into those blue eyes and felt goosebumps over his entire body. This could not be good.

Twilight cleared her throat uncertainly, before holding out a hoof in Starswirl's direction, "Pinkie Pie, let me introduce Starswirl the Bearded." She shifted hoof and pointed to the pink mare, "Starswirl this is my friend Pi–"

Twilight's introduction was cut short as Pinkie shot across the room, stopping right in front of Starswirl, "Hello! My name is Pinkie Pie! Twilight have told me so much about you, Swirly! But, then she said that you have never ever tried cake before or cupcakes or anything. I knew I had to see you right away!"

Starswirl took a step back, trying to create some distance between them. However, it turned out to be a futile effort as Pinkie Pie simply took a step forward, closing the distance again. Starswirl tried to say something, but his mind was blank, she was close, way too close. After a while he finally managed a "Thank you?"

"Hehe don't thank me yet, silly!" the pink pony replied, giggling. "I haven't even made you anything yet!" She sat down and leaned back and tapped her chin with a hoof, "I wonder what I should make first..."

Starswirl breathed a sigh of relief, with her out of his personal space he could think again. He shot Twilight an annoyed look, "Charming friends you have Twilight Sparkle. I'm so glad you decided to share one of them with me."

"It's nothing, really!" Twilight replied with a forced grin. She was probably thinking that if she ignored the sarcasm, It would go away. Her hopes were dashed however, as Starswirl narrowed his eyes at her. Twilight flinched, "I'm sorry! She really wanted to come along and... where did she go?"

Starswirl and Twilight both looked at the spot that moments before had held the pink earthpony. After a shortpause, Starswirl asked, "Did...did she teleport?"

Twilight shook her head, "I don't know, Pinkie just does weird things sometimes. In fact, that's one of the reasons I brought her along. I was hoping, I could get your take on it."

Starswirl raised an eyebrow, now this was interesting, "What else can she do?"

Twilight told him.

"Fascinating" Starswirl said, as he contemplated everything Twilight had told him, "So this Pinkie Sense allows her to predict the future?"

"I believe so," Twilight replied, "Though it seems to be rather imprecise and unaffected by scale."

"Hmm, I would like to run some tests. I would especially like to examine her magical hoofprint." Starswirl said.

Twilight's mouth dropped open, "Of course!, Why didn't I think of that? It's so obvious!"

Their conversation was interrupted as the door to the circular room slammed open. In bounced Pinkie Pie, a tray of pastries
balanced on her head. As she crossed the distance between them she began to sing.

"Yummy Yummy yay!

Time for some cake.

Yummy Yummy yay!

It will be great.

Yummy Yummy yay!

So have some cake toooooodaaaaaaaayyyyy!"

Starswirl raised both his eyebrows and looked at Twilight, who simply responded with a shrug.

Starswirl levitated off one of the strange looking items from the proffered tray and took a bite. His face contorted in a grimace, it was sweet, way to sweet, several orders of magnitude sweeter than anything he had tasted before in fact. Tears gathered in the corners of his eyes, he had never tasted anything so horrible.

"Awww would you look at that," Pinkie Pie said draping a hoof over Twilight's shoulders, "He's so happy he's crying."

Day 7, Part 1

Day 7, Part 1

The moonlight coming in from the window illuminated Starswirl the Bearded's study. Starswirl himself sat by his desk, intently studying two separate sheets of parchment. Normally he would have been well asleep by now, but not tonight, the test results from Pinkie Pie had been too intriguing to wait for the morrow. Besides, after ingesting that abominable 'cake', his mouth felt raw and his stomach had been in constant upheaval, so he doubted he could have slept even if he had wanted to.

On the sheet to the left was Pinkie Pies magical hoofmark, a spectrum of colors displaying the fundamental types of magic that made up her essence. Roughly 70% were a solid amber orange, not surprising since she had been born an earthpony. 9% was a pure white and 5% a sky blue, revealing that Pinkie Pie had at least some Unicorn and Pegasi blood in her, respectively. This was to be expected as well, what Starswirl had not been expecting however, was the color of the remaining 16%, it was a dark blue smeared with pink blurs and, crisscrossed with red lines. He had never seen anything like it.

He glanced over at the other sheet, it held the magical hoof print of Twilight Sparkle. It had none of the strange color, however he had noted two other interesting things regarding it. Firstly, it was strong, all the colors seemed to almost glow, her magical output had to be huge. Secondly, there was at least 2% of lime green in it. The purple unicorn had been dabbling in dark magic, and recently.

With a sigh, Starswirl made a notation in his notebook, before pushing himself away from the table. Should he talk to her about it?... Nah, she's too intelligent not to know about the risks. It was her business and he would stay out of it. Research and let research. Pushing Twilight from his mind Starswirl looked back at Pinkie Pies results. The color intrigued him like nothing ever had before, he needed to study it, even if it meant that he had to rework his study schedule for this entire week!

He turned around, intent on getting to work right away. However, that was the moment when his sugar-rush ended and tiredness lunged on-top of him like an angry puma. Starswirl slumped down on the thick carpet as the metaphorical puma ripped out his throat. Oh well... there was always tomorrow.

Starswirl awoke with a start, the floor was vibrating under his cheek. Lifting his head and looking around he noticed Twilight Sparkle dancing anxiously in place. She was babbling to herself, "Oh no, Oh no he has collapsed! I need to check his vital signs right away!" She gasped, "But I promised not to ever do that again! Oh no, Oh no What to do Twilight? What to do?!"

"Twilight," Starswirl said.

Twilight froze in mid motion, her ear swiveled towards Starswirl.

"In this situation, you bring me coffee, and lots of it." Starswirl continued.

Twilight relaxed, breathing out a sigh of relief, "Sorry, I didn't think even you would sleep past 4 pm and on the floor..."

Starswirl frowned, 4 pm? For some reason he felt he had forgotten something, but what? Outside, trumpets began to sound. Twilight and Starswirl both looked towards the open window.

"What is that?" Twilight asked.

"Ah" Starswirl said as he remembered, "Princess Celestia is due for a visit today."

"WHAT?!" Twilight shouted, her face filling with horror. "Oh no this is not good, not good at all! I can't let her see me!"

Starswirl frowned at her "Why not?"

"Because she told me not to time travel! And if she sees me she'll remember that I did it anyway!" Twilight whimpered.

"Can't you just go back to the future now then?" Starswirl asked.

"No I can't!" Twilight wailed, "Traveling backwards is completely different from traveling forwards, that's why I worked in a cancellation timer in the original spell! Oh sweet Celestia help me! I'm stuck here for at least another hour!"

Outside, a stallion began shouting, "BEHOLD THE SUN GODDESS, SHE WHO SHINES AS BRIGHT AS THE SUN ITSELF, SHE WHO STAND BETWEEN US AND THE DARKNESS AND ALL THE EVIL THAT LURKS THEREIN, SHE WHOSE BEAUTY KNOWS NO BOUNDS, SHE WHOSE..." The announcer continued in the same fashion without showing any sign of stopping.

Twilight was getting more and more worried by the minute. Starswirl was actually somewhat enjoying the situation. He lifted a hoof and pointed towards his supply cabinet. "You could always hide in there until she's gone," He said with a smile, not really meaning it. But Twilight eyes fixed in the cabinet as if it held all the secrets of the universe. And before Starswirl could stop her she had sprinted to it and hurled herself inside.

Not a moment too soon, because as the cabinet doors slammed shut the stallion outside finished his proclamation, "SHE WHO BEARS THE NAME... CELESTIA!" A bright light filled the room and in strode Celestia in all her glory.

Starswirl rolled his eyes, "Why must your visits always be so flamboyant?"

Celestia smiled a benevolent smile ignoring the fact that he hadn't bowed."If our faithful subjects wishes to announce us so, who are we to deny them?"

Starswirl had never liked the Princess, in fact in his opinion, she was little more than a pompous strut. Still, he didn't want to outright offend her if he could help it. Changing the subject he asked, "I hope all is well with you and Princess Luna." He could be polite if he put his mind to it.

"We are well, thank you" Celestia replied, "We are sure Princess Luna is also well, even though she spends more and more time in her rooms as of late..." The princess trailed off as she sniffed the air, "What is that smell?"

Starswirl sniffed the air as well, and he realized immediately what Celestia must be referring to. The leftover cakes and pastries from the day before, still stood on a side-table next to the fireplace. He had forgotten to burn them after Pinkie and Twilight had left yesterday. Oh well.

Celestia had quickly moved over to the tray, "What is this?"

Starswirl felt a malicious smile on his lips, "They are some excellent baked goods a friend of mine made for me, please help yourself."

"You have friends?" Celestia asked, levitating up a slice before taking a bite.

Starswirl held his breath, he had done it in the spur of the moment, but if she fainted, her guard might pound him into mush.

"These are marvelous!" Celestia said, before wolfing down the rest of the slice, "We must have the recipe!"

Starswirl gaped at her, that was alicorns for you. "Ill send it over..." he said, sounding defeated.

"Wonderful!" Celestia replied before taking another slice from the tray. There was a muffled gasp and some clatter from inside the supply cabinet. Celestia and Starswirl both looked towards the cabinet. "Hoho, Starswirl you sly old dog, are you hiding a pony in there?" Celestia asked, her eyes glittering. "Did our visit interrupt something... personal?"

Starswirl, only now realizing how the situation could be misinterpreted, froze. Seeing his reaction, Celestia smile widened. She walked over to the cabinet, grabbing the doors with her magic and flinging them wide. Inside, pressed to the back wall sat Twilight, blushing furiously.

Celestia looked at her for a moment before turning back to Starswirl, a bemused look on her face "Isn't she a bit young for you?"

Starswirl wanted to sink through the floor and disappear, forever.

Day 8

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Day 9

Day 9

The strange magic seemed to ripple within the crystal orb. Extracting the magic from Pinkie Pie’s blood sample had proven exceedingly difficult. When he had tried to pull on it with his own magic, it had reacted very strangely, morphing, shifting and generally misbehaving. The red streaked darkblue magic behaved like nothing he had ever seen before. After several hours, he had finally given up and had simply poured all of the blood into the magical orb. Then he had carefully extracted all the other types of magic, one by one. It had been tedious and difficult work, but it worked.

Starswirl, now armed with both quill and paper, took rapid notes on the state of the magic as he adjusted some of the crystal knobs on the metal structure that kept the orb

hovering in the air. He charged the knob that increased the temperature of the orb, and noted happily how the magical cloud shot out spikes of energy, making it resemble a Porcupine. Fascinating.

There was a brilliant flash behind him, briefly illuminating the walls. He had come to terms with the purple unicorns daily visits, he even enjoyed their discussions. But, at this stage in the research, she would only be a distraction. It irked him that he now would had to talk to her, why couldn't she just leave him alone to do his thing?

“Look behind you,” Twilight said sounding giddy.

“Oh, for goodness sake!” Starswirl said as he turned around, “Can’t you see I'm trying to concentrate over here?”

Twilight was wearing a full dress in pink, yellow and white, on her head rested a golden tiara and on her hooves there were hoof-guards, also in gold.

“Please, don’t tell me this is another costume you want signed.” Starswirl asked.

“What? No, this is real.” Twilight said with a smile, “My coronation just ended and I wanted to let you know.”

Starswirl frowned at her, “Coronation? What did you do? Marry a prince?”

Twilight blinked, “Oh whoops, I’m sorry. I’m not very good at controlling these things yet,” and with those words she unfurled two purple wings.

Starswirl the Bearded gaped at the feathery appendages, his mind in a state of complete shock. Moments past as Starswirl’s mind frantically tried to make sense of the situation “What?” he felt himself say. Then more forcefully, “WHAT?!”

Twilight shifted, clearly embarrassed, “I figured out the spell, you know the one you couldn't solve. And it turned me into an alicorn.”

Starswirl narrowed his eyes at her as he felt rage building within him. “Is this supposed to be amusing, Twilight Sparkle?! I don’t know what kind of joke this is, or what kind of illusion magic you are using. But you will cease it this instance!”

Hearing the anger in his voice, Twilight took an uncertain step backwards. “But, it’s no joke...”

“Oh please” Starswirl snarled, “You can’t just cast a spell and, Ta-Ta! Alicorn! That’s ludicrous, you would need to incorporate every single type of magical energy and weave them all together. And then you would need to keep it stable, despite the fact that some types of magic reacts to each other not unlike how cesium reacts to water.”

Twilight opened her mouth like she wanted to say something, but Starswirl rolled over her.

“THEN you would have to transfer this magic into the subject pony, which would without doubt cause said pony to explode, leaving nothing behind but dust. And not to mention the need to break at least two fundamental laws of magic to do it. So please excuse my skepticism when you claim to have turned into an alicorn.”

Twilight adopted a serious expression, something Starswirl rarely saw from the her, “I know it sounds strange, but I had your notes, the elements of harmony and my friends. And together we made it happen.”

“Prove it” Starswirl said coldly.

Twilight frowned, “How?”

“Easy” Starswirl said, “We will simply take a look at your ‘new’ magical hoofprint.”

Starswirl stared at the parchment in front of him, he couldn't believe it, he just couldn't. The spectrum displayed a perfect rainbow, without a doubt, confirming her as an alicorn. How could this be? He let out a deep sigh. He was beginning to feel embarrassed over his earlier outburst, but he had been so sure that she had been toying with him.

He shook his head before turning to Twilight, giving her a wry smile, “I'm sorry Twilight. But, it's not scientifically possible for you to have transformed into an alicorn. You –” he pointed a hoof a Twilight “– are not scientifically possible.”

His proclamation seemed to strike the purple alicorn like a physical blow, she swayed a bit. “I’m... not?” she asked, sounding unsettled.

“Like creating energy from nothing,” Starswirl hissed.

Twilight flinched, “That bad?”

“Worse,” he replied, “But tell me again how you managed it. You said something about a spell I couldn't solve?”

“Yes on the last page in your private journal.” Twilight said.

“Wait” Starswirl said, “You aren't talking about my private journal, right?”

“Ehh” Twilight hesitated, “I believe so.”

Starswirl felt that feeling again, the one with which he had become familiar with since meeting this purple terror. It was a mix of horror and awful inevitability that tended to settle in his gut. “How did you get your hooves on my private journal” he asked quietly.

“Princess Celestia sent it to me” Twilight replied, with a smile, “She believed that I could solve your unfinished masterpiece.”

“So… Celestia got her hooves on my private journal, read it and then spent decades passing it around to whomever she chose?” Starswirl asked, feeling oddly numb.

“I guess so” Twilight said frowning, “But I don’t see what you are worrying about… It’s not like there was anything embarrassing in it.”

“THERE WASN’T?” Starswirl asked, sounding both surprised and relieved. Then he blinked, something clicked in his mind, a puzzle piece had fallen into place, revealing the whole puzzle. Starswirl tossed his head back and laughed uproariously, “HAHA I see, I get it now!”

Twilight frowned at him, “What?”

In answer Starswirl levitated down his ‘current’ journal from the bookshelf and proceeded to start ripping out pages. “Lets see” Starswirl murmured, “Page 14, 16 and 22 definitely must go –” he ripped them out “– Ah, page 42, no one must ever see that one. Hmm, next is Page 68 122 and 132…” He continued in the same fashion, throughout the book, Twilight looking on in confusion.

“I take it you have the older journal with you?” Starswirl asked, “Knowing you, you were probably hoping to discuss the spell with me.”

Twilight nodded warily, levitating out the old tome from a satchel he hadn't noticed before, “What are you planning?”

Starswirl grinned mischievously as he grabbed the proffered book with his own magic, then he spun it around and opened it on the last page. He quickly scanned the text, before grabbing a pen.

Twilight looked on with growing unease as Starswirl copied everything that was written in his style from the old journal into the current one, on its empty last page.

“A mark off one's destiny singled out alone fulfilled,” he murmured as he finished. Then he grinned wide at Twilight, snapping the book shut and holding it up. “Oh woe is me” he said, his voice thick with sarcasm, “ I have worked so long on this spell, BUT I JUST CAN'T MAKE IT WORK, TRULY THIS IS MY SECRET UNFINISHED MASTERPIECE.”

Twilight stared at him, her face a mask of horror, “You...you can't do that!”

“I just did,” he said smugly.

“But aren't you worried about time paradoxes?”

“Twilight, don’t you think it’s a bit late for you to start worrying about time paradoxes,” Starswirl said sounding amused, “But if it makes you feel any better, know that there is no such thing as a time paradox.”

“There isn't?” Twilight asked doubtfully.

Starswirl, enjoying Twilight’s confusion, replied, “Let me give you an example.” He thought for a moment before asking, “Who invented cake?”

Twilight opened her mouth to say something, then paused, frowning.

“Ah, I see you understand,” Starswirl said, “Celestia got the recipe from Pinkie Pie whom probably got it from her mother, who in turn perhaps got it from a friend of her parents and so on, back all the way to Celestia. The truth is, cake has no inventor, it was spawned by an infinite loop in time.

Twilight frowned, “But surely every loop must has a beginning?”

“There are neither beginnings nor endings to the turning of the wheel of time” Starswirl intoned gravely.

The purple alicorn pondered that for a moment, “Okay what about this: What if I were to travel back in time five minutes from now and tell myself not to go?”

“Well,” Starswirl replied, “Since you weren't here five minutes ago, that would be impossible. If you tried, there would be something ultimately preventing you from doing it.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow.

“What you don't believe me?” Starswirl asked, “Here –” he tossed his current journal to her “– try destroying this. I promise you, somehow it will end up unharmed.”

“Are you sure?” Twilight asked, “What if we completely mess up time?”

“There!” Starswirl said, pointing a hoof at her, “The first obstacle presents itself. Uncertainty if it would be safe. As you can see it’s a very probable reason why you wouldn't go through with it.”

Twilight stood up and shot the older unicorn a defiant look, then she hurled his journal into the fireplace. They both looked at flames as they licked against the sides of the journal. Time stretched, but the journal remained unharmed. Suddenly Starswirl slapped a hoof to his forehead, “Ah, that's right! I flameproofed it way back when, I had totally forgotten.”

Twilight looked at him incredulously, “This can’t be for real, are you saying that if we keep trying something will keep getting in our way like this? Like if you hadn't flameproofed it, a wormhole would have appeared and teleported the book back to the shelf?”

“Nah the probability for such a thing is way too tiny” Starswirl replied, “It would be much more likely that you suffered a stroke and died before you could toss it.”

Twilight gaped at him, she had clearly not considered that possibility.

“Now that I think about it, trying to cause time paradoxes might be a lot more dangerous than one would think.” Starswirl said with a grin.

Author's Note

And there it is, hope you liked it. And I wrote that reference without even thinking.

Keeeep on turning!

Day 10, Part 1

Day 10, Part 1

“Hey! Stop that! What are you doing?” Twilight said aghast, before backing away.

What does it look like? I’m taking your measurements” Starswirl replied, “Now hold still.”

“I can see that! But why?” she replied, batting her hooves at the persistent measuring tape.

Starswirl paused his efforts, “Isn't it obvious? I should have done it yesterday, but our discussion distracted me. You are an alicorn now, think of all the things we can learn!”

“What have my measurements to do with that?” Twilight shouted.

“Everything!” the older unicorn replied with fervor, “Is you physical form affected by your use of magic? Or will you grow at the same pace as a normal pony? How long have you been an alicorn exactly? Do feel a need for extra nourishment in this new form?” As he kept showering her with questions, he renewed the battle for her measurements.

Twilight gasped, “EEEHAA! DON’T MEASURE THAT!”

“Stop being so squeamish, it's only your rump. Everypony has one.” Starswirl chided, as he noted the number down. He frowned down at the figure and murmured, “...Definitely alicorn sized.”

“WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?” Twilight shrieked, her voice cracking slightly.

“Nothing,” Starswirl replied hastily, closing the notebook. He didn’t get it, wasn’t a mare with a big rump a good thing? He cleared his throat, “Lets move on… Next, I will need some samples.”

Twilight, face red, eyed him warily, “Samples?”

“You know, blood, hair and saliva. The works,” Starswirl replied as he levitated out a syringe. Lighting a candle with a magical pink flame, he proceeded to sterilize the needle over it.

Twilight stared at the needle with wide eyes. Her wings puffed out, before spreading wide.

Starswirl, noticing the motion in the corner from his eye, turned to the alicorn, “Fascinating, is that some alicorn stress reflex? Your body trying to appear larger to scare away potential predators?”

“I don’t know! I have only been like this for a day and a half.” Twilight replied, blushing furiously.

Was she still angry about the rump thing? Starswirl shook his head, mares… he would never understand them. He glanced at the syringe, and realized that it was as clean as it would ever be. Pulling it out of the pink flame, he turned back to the agitated alicorn. “Okay Twilight, grit your teeth. This should only hurt for a moment.”

Twilight backed away, her stiff left wing pushing some quills and papers from a worktable. She didn’t notice, all her attention was fixed on the syringe in the older unicorn's magical grasp. “I don’t know if this is such a great idea... Maybe we should stick to hair and saliva only,” Twilight hazarded.

“Nonsense,” Starswirl replied, “Now hold still... HEY! DON’T RUN!”

Fortunately, she didn’t get far as her flight was impeded by the doorway, its geometry disagreeing with the current state of her wings.

“Really Twilight, you are a grown mare, and a Princess no less. A little needle should be nothing to you.” Starswirl said as he approached. He reached out and grabbed her with his magic.

The alicorn yelped and spun on the spot, ripping apart Starswirl's magic as if it was paper. She rushed across the room, towards the window.

“Oh no you don’t!” Starswirl said, hurling himself at her.

They collided, sending them both careening off their hooves before landing and rolling over the thick carpet. They ended up in a heap, with Starswirl on top, his chest pressing down on her side. “Ha! If I’m so old, how come I could do that!”

Twilight squirmed a bit before lying still. “Fine, do it then,” she said between gritted teeth.

“Finally, you see sense!” Starswirl said as he levitated the syringe closer. He could feel her body under him, warm and soft, her heart,hammering like a terrified rabbits. He felt it speed up even more as he placed the needle against her throat. “You must hold still Twilight.”

Her only response was to squeeze her eyes shut. Not wasting any time, Starswirl pushed the needle into the vein before drawing out her blood. When he was done, he quickly healed her with his magic.

“See that wasn’t so bad, now was it” he asked.

Twilight relaxed under him, her body going limp, “Starswirl...”

“Yes?” he asked.

“How long are you planning to stay on top of me?”

Author's Note

Wow... Over a thousand views and 315 subscribers, that's crazy. (or at least to me it is)
And hey, I have twelve followers now, TWELVE! Just like Jesus! I sure hope no one comes along and brings it up to unlucky number thirteen.

Day 10, Part 2

Day 10, Part 2

Outside, clinging to the tower just below the window, Clover the Clever watched the two ponies wrestle. In her heart, Clover was cheering loudly for Uncle Swirly, it was about time the purple one was put in her place. Clover’s face spread in a vicious grin as Uncle Swirly ended up on top, pinning the purple pony beneath him. A moment passed, Clover furrowed her brow, why wasn’t he punching her in the face?

Clover’s eyes went wide with a sudden horrible thought; What if they weren’t actually fighting? But rather, playing a game? Fury filled the little filly. It would be just like the purple one. Always trying to make Uncle Swirly pay attention to her. Clover snarled, just who does this hussy think she is? Trying to be all cuddly with HER Uncle.

Deciding she needed to get a better view, she climbed up next to the window and leaned her head into it. What she saw almost made her lose her grip on the stones, which would have resulted in her plummeting all the way down to the ground, a distance of at least fifty solar.

The purple one HAD WINGS! Clover couldn't believe it. The strumpet had somehow managed to turn herself into an alicorn. That wasn’t supposed to be possible, Celestia had said so herself! She wouldn't lie, not to her most secret and special agent, right? Clover growled deep in her throat. She and Celestia would have words later. For now, Clover really wanted to know how the purple one had done it. For if somepony deserved to be an alicorn, it was Clover the Clever.

Inside the tower, Uncle Swirly held up a blood filled syringe. “I can’t wait to study it in detail!” he said eagerly. “To think, alicorn magic finally within my reach.”

The purple one seemed confused at this, “What do you mean ‘finally’? Couldn't you just get some from Princess Celestia or Princess Luna?”

“They always refused, and kept going on about how it was ‘forbidden’ and more ‘dangerous’ than I could possibly know,” the older unicorn said with a huff. “Complete jibber jabber if you ask me. They are most likely just afraid of the needle, like you.”

Clover’s golden eyes locked on the small syringe. The secret was in there, she had heard enough to be certain of that. Too bad she probably wouldn't be able to get her hooves on it, Uncle Swirly had grown quite adept at protecting his more valuable possessions from her. No, she would most likely have to get her own sample. Clover’s eyes glittered as they slid over to the alicorn.

Suddenly she was enveloped by a blue glow and forcibly janked from the wall. Clover let out a squeal and paddled desperately in the air. Realizing she was simply hovering over the windowsill, she stopped.

“Just what kind of demon are you?” Uncle Swirly asked before peering past her, down at the ground. “You actually managed to climb all the way up here? No wonder you have been able to get into my tower.”

Clover flung her forehooves wide and gave him her very best smile, “Congratulations! You caught me! You win one free hug!”

He looked at her deadpan, “Give me one good reason why I shouldn't toss you out the window right now.”

She hesitated, before giving a sheepish smile, “Because you love me?”

Clover felt herself accelerated hard backwards, and then she was flying through the warm afternoon air, screaming her lungs out.

Twilight gaped at the window where Starswirl had just magically launched a small filly to her certain death.

Starswirl, noticing her reaction, rolled his eyes. “She will be fine.”

“She will?” Twilight asked, sounding doubtful.

“Yes, she will. I once told her mother that if I caught Clover in my tower again, I would toss her out the nearest window. Guess what she did? She taught the little monster a spell for soft landings!”

Author's Note

"The things I do for love." The reference I just couldn't get to fit.

Day 11

“EEEEEARTHQUAAAAAAKE!” Clover’s mother shouted as she shook her daughter's bed violently.

Clover the Clever tumbled off the mattress with a high pitched squeal. “Mom!”

“Good morning Sweetie,” Rosebud replied with a wide grin. “I'm surprised you are up already, don’t you normally sleep for another hour?”

Clover stared incredulously at her mother for a moment before coming to grips with the situation. She pointed an accusing hoof at the older mare. “YOU SHOOK THE BED!”

Looking stunned, Rosebud lifted a hoof and placed it to her chest “Me?”

“Yes, YOU!” Clover shouted.

Rosebud simply smiled at her daughter’s outrage. “I was planning to make pancakes for breakfast... But now, I just don’t know.”

Clover the Clever’s ears had perked up at the mention of pancakes. By the time Rosebud finished, Clover was smiling broadly. “Mom, did you also feel that huge earthquake shaking the whole house just now? I even fell off my bed!”

Rosebud grinned down at her daughter. “I sure did, and I'm glad it waked you, since somepony needs to go ‘borrow’ some milk from our good neighbor. I would go myself but... He will probably be asleep for another couple of hours.”

Clover flung her forehooves around her mother and gave her a big hug. “I love you Mom,” she said, her face nuzzled into her mother's white fur.

Rosebud hugged her back. “Awww, I love you too, Sweetie –” she paused for a moment before adding “– just bring me that milk.”

“I will see the world burn before I fail,” Clover replied, already planning her approach.

As Clover rushed out of the room, Rosebud called after her. “Sweetie, I'm going to the post office this afternoon, so have your report to Princess Celestia ready before then!”

“Okay mom” Clover called back, before leaving the house.

Starswirl’s eyes hurt, and his head ached, staying up all night and been a bad idea. Still, he allowed himself a small smile as he gazed at the second crystal orb, holding pure alicorn magic. It had taken all night to extract it from Twilights blood, but now it was done. It spun gently within its container, a mass of white with shades of pink and cyan.

Starswirl stretched, he needed coffee and a lot of it. Since it was monday, the day for organizing and scheduling, Twilight would probably be popping in at any moment. Maybe he should make a cup for her as well. He paused, what a strange thought.

He left his study and headed down the curving staircase that followed the inner wall. His kitchen was located at the base of the tower so it would take him a few minutes to get down there. A poor design choice, in retrospect. But, now that he could teleport, maybe he should move the kitchen up and then fill the bottom three levels with rocks. That way, his potential visitors would be limited to pegasi and alicorns only. Starswirl smiled, liking the idea.

Upon opening the kitchen door, his smile fell away, replaced by outrage. “YOU!”

Clover spun around, and tried to hide the bag containing her newly acquired milk bottle, behind her back. “ME!” she replied, with as much bravado as she could muster. But on the inside, her heart was hammering. This mission was too important, it mustn't fail!

Uncle Swirly took a step into the kitchen, narrowing his eyes at her. “How did you get in here? I have warded all the upper windows as well as the lower ones now.” He paused and peered at her, “ What are those smudges all over your coat? Wait… Is that soot? YOU CLIMBED DOWN THE CHIMNEY?!”

Clover swore softly, she had hoped to keep that entrance a secret, at least until the tunnel was finished. But that wasn’t important right now, what was important, was the mission, to get the milk home. She needed to stall him while she thought of a plan. “Don’t be silly Uncle Swirly, ME going down the chimney? That must be the silliest thing I ever heard.”

The older unicorn took a step closer, narrowing his eyes even further, “I'm starting to wonder why you go to such lengths just to vex me...”

Clover flinched. “No reason,” she said quickly, too quickly.

Uncle Swirly stared suspiciously at her, “So there is a reason, something more than your personal enjoyment?”

This was bad, very bad. Clover took a step backwards, and accidentally bumped the bag with the milk bottle. It tipped over and fell to the stone floor with an audible “clink“.

Uncle Swirly tilted his head to the side, looking past her. “Is that my milk?” he asked, outraged. He probably needed it for his coffee.

“What? Nooo No Nooo,” Clover replied, forcing a grin on her face. “I… I brought this with me from home. I… I was planning to help you organize your stuff today, and organizing sure makes a pony thirsty!”

Uncle Swirly took an aggressive stance, “You will return that bottle to me, now.”

Clover the Clever was truly worried now, she cast her eyes about, trying to think of something. What would Celestia do in a situation like this? That question had only one possible answer. Clover flung the bag over her back and charged, letting out a battlecry for good measure. “FOR CELESTIA AND PANCAKES!”

Starswirl’s eyes went wide as the tiny unicorn charged him, her golden eyes burning with purpose. He tried to grab her with his magic, but she zigzagged wildly, avoiding his grasp. However, when she tried to pass him in the doorway, Starswirl managed to get a foreleg around her and pinned her to his chest. “Got you, you little monster!” he said smugly as she writhed in his grip. “Now you will–” Starswirl yelped in pain as Clover bit him.

Cursing, he released her. A moment later she was past him and running up the stairs shouting back over her shoulder. “I'm sorry Uncle Swirly, but the mission must come first! Viva la Panqueques!”

“I'm not your Uncle! And don’t go spouting your fancy griffin sayings at me!” Starswirl called after her. He tried to teleport up to his study, but he realized quickly that he was just too drained at the moment. Cursing, he ran up the stairs after the little demon. He had to catch her before she reached the fireplace and crawled up the chimney.

But the little miscreation was fast. And he had been up all night. When he finally reached his study door, he was breathing heavily and he knew it was too late, she would already be crawling into the chimney by now. But then his ears perked up as a muffled shout came from inside the door.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

Starswirl swung the door open and stepped inside, and was met by the beautiful sight of Twilight Sparkle holding a struggling pink filly in her magical grip. Twilight turned to him as he walked inside, “She burst in here, laughing like crazy. So I grabbed her just in case.”

Starswirl grinned wide at her, “Twilight, I could kiss you!” Then he turned his attention to Clover the Clever, and didn’t see Twilight’s face turning bright red.

“Release me” Clover demanded, paddling her legs in a futile effort to escape the magical field.

“Nothing would please me more than to throw you out the window again. But first I'm taking my milk back.” Starswirl said, somewhat enjoying the situation, it wasn't often he won against her.

Clover’s eyes went wide, and she clutched the bag to her chest. “Stay away!”

Starswirl grabbed the bag with his mouth and pulled. Clover clung desperately to the bag, her face one of desperation. Starswirl slowly worked the bag free. Clover looked like it was her soul being torn from her rather than a bottle of milk.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” she wailed.

“Don’t be so dramatic you little thief,” Starswirl murmured around the bag in his mouth. Still, Clovers anguish seemed so real, that he actually felt a little bad for her. Which just served to make him even more annoyed.

“It’s time you told me everything,” Starswirl said. “Why do you do what you do?”

“NEVER!” Clover shouted, eyes filled with defiance.

Starswirl smiled wickedly, “Speak, or we will have to force you.”

Clover set her jaw, “Torture is it? Well, bring it on! I can take it!”

Starswirl turned to Twilight, “Twilight, could you please take those two feather quills on the table over there and use them to tickle her until I tell you to stop?”

Twilight blinked then turned to Clover with a smile, “She did toss mudballs at me last week, I guess there is nothing wrong with a little payback.”

“You wouldn’t…” Clover said, her defiance draining away.

Clover cracked 20 seconds later, laughing and shaking while desperately trying to keep the wiggling feathers at bay. “HAHAHahaha, Celestia, hahah, made, hihihi, Not there! Hahaha, She made me her special agent! Hahahaha, Curse you purple one! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I was to make Uncle Swirly’s life interesting, Hahaha, because Celestia was worried about him since he didn't have any friends.”

Starswirl and Twilight both gaped at the pink filly. “He doesn't?” Twilight asked.

But Starswirl shouted over her. “ CELESTIA DID WHAT?! THAT CAKE GORGELING TROLLOP. Ohh, when I get my hooves on her, I will give her a piece of my mind!” He glared daggers at Clover, “You tell her, that my social affairs are none of her business, I’m perfectly happy here in my tower.”

“You don’t have any friends?” Twilight asked again, this time addressing herself to Starswirl. “None at all?”

Starswirl frowned at Twilight, “Define the word friend.”

“Somepony you can trust and depend on, who cares for you and that you care for.” Twilight replied seriously.

Starswirl made a face, “Ehhh I guess… you maybe.”

“What do you mean ‘maybe’?” Twilight asked. “No, this wont do! Tomorrow, we are going out and you will make some friends and learn about the magic of friendship!”

Starswirl stared at her, she couldn't be serious… could she?

Author's Note

People, you need to let me know if I need to change the rating from "Everyone" to "Teen". I'm not sure myself anymore. Also we DON'T have a new front cover! Just look at it, isn't it amazing?

Day 12, Part 1

“Wake up Starswirl, it’s time to go,” Twilight said as she pushed at the pile of blankets on top of the bed with her forehooves.

Deep within the mound, Starswirl coughed. “Uhhgghh, I’m sick. I think we’ll have to do this another day... Uhhgghh.” There was a long silence, long enough that Starswirl was pretty sure that he had gotten away with it. Then he was levitated out of the bed, blankets and all.

Twilight’s voice came from below him, “Thats not going to work Starswirl. Procrastination is the greatest enemy of ponykind.”

“I don’t see why I have to do this anyway. I’m perfectly happy right here. This whole farce is just a waste of time, TIME I could be using to unlock the secrets of the universe!”

“The magic of friendship makes a researcher more effective in the long run.” Twilight said sagely, as if she wasn't 20 years younger than him.

Starswirl pushed away the blankets, then teleported out of Twilight’s levitation field and appeared in front of her. “That’s complete jibber jabber and you know it!” Twilight looked like she wanted to interrupt, but Starswirl plowed ahead. “Besides I’m a big stallion, I can make my own decisions and you can’t stop me.”

Twilight narrowed her eyes at him. “I could.”

“Really?” Starswirl asked sarcastically, “What are you going to do? Hold me down and force me?”

Twilight’s cheeks went slightly red, “Since that’s what you did to me when you wanted a blood sample. It’d be only fair if I did the same too you.” Twilight paused before continuing, “If you don’t give it your best today I don’t see why I should let you continue experimenting with my alicorn magic.”

One of Starswirl’s eyes twitched, “You wouldn't!”

Twilight crouched down, narrowing her eyes, “Try me.”

Starswirl gritted his teeth, the little alicorn had him by the beard, or more specifically by the crystal ball filled with her purified magical essence. “Fine,” he grumbled. “But if it doesn't work out today, you’ll stop pestering me with this whole friendship thing.”

“Great!” Twilight said with a beaming smile, as if she hadn’t just blackmailed the older unicorn. “Let’s start with your neighbor, you can introduce us.”

Starswirl immediately had second thoughts about the whole thing. Rosebud could be even worse than her daughter. Starswirl cast his mind back to the few times when he had left his tower. What ponies had he met? There was that baker… a complete bint. What about the mare at the post office? An utter twerp. The mailmare? The very definition of a knob head. Starswirl grimaced, He’d rather make friends with a timberwolf than any of them.

Twilight titled her head at him, still smiling. “Shall we go?”

“If we have to do this… can we at least make it interesting?” Starswirl asked.

Twilight shot him a suspicious glance, “What do you have in mind?”

Starswirl adopted a thoughtful expression, tapping his chin. “Well, since all the ponies of today are all muppets of one form or another. I propose that we travel forward in time and look for friendship there. Preferably to a time when everypony was better educated.” Starswirl smiled to himself, this way, no potential ‘friends’ he made would be able to come bother him in his tower later.

Twilight looked sceptical, “Wouldn't that defeat the purpose?”

Starswirl raised both his eyebrows with pretend shock. “Twilight, are you saying that friendship can’t bridge a gap in time?... Are you saying that our friendship is meaningless?”

It was Twilight’s turn to grit her teeth, “No, that’s not what I’m saying!”

“So you have no objections to travel forward a few centuries then?” Starswirl asked.

“I suppose I don’t,” Twilight replied grudgingly, teeth still gritted.

“Excellent,” Starswirl said with a smile, "Lets begin the preparations".

Princess Celestia sat in her throne, a cup of tea in her hooves and a tray with several slices of cake just to the side. Cake, what a marvelous thing. Celestia smiled to herself, she needed to think of a reward for Clover the Clever. Had the little filly not informed her that Starswirl was hosting a female guest each day, Celestia wouldn't have set that fated appointment that taught her the wonder of cake. Celestia shuddered, thinking on what she could have missed. Clover should definitely be rewarded. Maybe a promotion?

“Chamberlain, is our spymaster still around?” Celestia asked.

“We never had one, Your Highness” replied the unicorn, standing by the base of her throne.

Celestia tapped her chin, frowning. “Sure we did! What was his name again… hmm, Oregano!”

“The SPICE master?” the chamberlain asked.

“Yes him! Demote him back down to special agent.” Celestia replied. The chamberlain blinked, as he tried to make sense of his orders. Realizing that there must be some kind of misunderstanding, he opened his mouth. But before he could say anything, Celestia continued, “Then head down to the archives and let them know that Clover the Clever is our new spymaster.” Celestia paused for a moment. “Also, give her a title, something fitting… like ‘Mistress of Whispers.’”

The chamberlain raised both his eyebrows in a look that said ‘you can’t be serious’, “The Mistress of Whispers…”

“What?” Celestia asked, narrowing her eyes at the unicorn, “It’s a good title.”

“If you say so Princess,” the chamberlain replied resignedly, before turning and trotting away to do her bidding.

“And bring up today’s letters from our subjects, we wish to read them!” Celestia shouted after him, before leaning back in her throne, and helping herself to another slice of cake. The alicorn wondered how many letters would she get today. 30? 40? She gasped, maybe even 50!

She didn’t have to wait long before the chamberlain trotted back up to her throne, two letters clutched in his magical grip. She blinked at them, “That’s it?”

The chamberlain sighed, “Why are you always surprised? Most of your subjects can't write. And those who can mostly send complaints, which as you surely recall, you instructed me to burn.”

Celestia waved a dismissive hoof, “Yes, yes... of course. Still, only two?”

The chamberlain sighed, “If you want more subjects, why not take Princess Platinum up on her offer and merge your kingdom with the one she is establishing up north. In fact, I think one of these letters are from her, asking Your Highness to do just that.”

“We shall consider it… later,” Celestia said.

“But...” the Chamberlain began before being interrupted.

“Is the other letter from our new spymaster?” Celestia asked eagerly, as she grabbed the mentioned letter with her magic, and levitating it up to her face. “Ooooooh, this is wonderful.” Celestia enjoyed reading Clover’s reports almost as much as she enjoyed acclamations of her subjects, almost. Lowering her eyes to the text she began to read.

To Princess Celestia with all titles attached. This is status report #103 sent by your most secret and special agent Clover the Clever.

A lot of things have happened this week, so for the sake of limited paperspace, I’m forced to limit the amount of ‘juicy details’ as you call them.

Celestia felt a little surge of disappointment at that, the details were the best part.

Know that Uncle Swirly smiled a whole 40% more this week than ever before. I’m positive that it would've been even more, if my efforts hadn’t been impeded by that purple unicorn, Twilight Sparkle. Whom has been hounding Uncle Swirly all week making his life miserable. I’m not sure of her purpose, but I think she might be a time traveling tailor trying to push her outfits and herself at Uncle Swirly. (Attached to this letter you’ll find sketches of both her and the costume she forced Uncle Swirly to wear.)

Celestia grinned, so Twilight Sparkle had been that adorable unicorns name. She unclipped the mentioned sketches from the back of the report. She looked at the one depicting Starswirl, and began laughing uncontrollably. Are… Are those bells? Oh, this was just too good. Celestia swallowed, trying to get herself under control. “Chamberlain go and show this to our sister. Maybe it’ll put a smile on her face for once.”

The chamberlain took the sketch, looked at it, and snickered.

“We’re glad to see that you have a sense of humor after all,” Celestia said smiling, as the chamberlain trotted off. Celestia turned back to the report.

However, I’ve had to reevaluate this assessment after Twilight Sparkle appeared as an alicorn this saturday. Something I had been informed, WAS IMPOSSIBLE, by a certain Princess with suns on her butt.

Celestia blinked at the text before reading it again, just to be sure. That… that was impossible. But if it was true, Celestia would need to sit down and have a long talk with this Twilight Sparkle. Frowning, Celestia read on.

Now, using the purple one as a sample, Uncle Swirly is researching alicorn magic. Something I know that you didn’t want him to do.

Your most secret and special agent Clover the Clever.

PS: The purple one used her wicked alicorn magic on me to make me confess my true purpose. Uncle Swirly is really angry with you. I suggest you stay away from windows in the near future.

Celestia sucked in air between clenched teeth. This was bad, very bad. Hadn’t she informed him on multiple occasions of the extreme danger such research would entail. And still he was doing it. Celetia had to put a stop to it.

Grabbing a quill and a fresh piece of paper, Celestia wrote quickly.

To our most secret and special agent Clover the Clever.

Our royal self have a request of the utmost importance to make of you. You must break into the tower and destroy everything related to Starswirl’s alicorn research, and bring the research journal to us. Do this and we swear that the name ‘Clover the Clever’ will be remembered and respected throughout the ages, gaining a place in all history books.

We’re aware that this will be your most dangerous mission yet. However, we have complete faith in your abilities. Make us proud.

Author's Note

Sorry for taking so long with this this chapter. I'm blaming the heat. I long for the cold and dark of winter.

Day 12, Part 2

The preparations for the time travel spell were complex and took quite some time. A fact that pleased Starswirl immensely. He wished he could spend all of Twilight’s limited friendship-making-time on calculations and spellcasting… Oh well, you can’t have everything.

“That should do it,” Twilight said. “Now we just need to step into the circle and activate it, and we will be transported 500 years into the future.”

“Wonderful,” Starswirl said with false cheer. “Lets just go over everything again to make sure we didn’t miss anything…”

“No,” Twilight said flatly. “We have wasted too much time already, get into the circle.”

“What about lunch? I could go downstairs and pack a saddlebag...”

“NO!”

“There is no need to shout, Twilight. I was only asking,” Starswirl said as he stepped into the circle. “It never hurts to be prepared.”

Twilight let out an exasperated sigh, “This is important, Starswirl. I need you to cooperate with me or this will never work.”.

“But I am cooperating,” Starswirl said innocently. On the inside however, he was grinning wide. He would make sure that they made less progress than the griffins’ scientific community.

Twilight shot him a suspicious look. Then she stepped into the circle as well. “Okay, here we go.” Her horn started glowing. There was a sucking sensation in Starswirl's chest, followed by a burst of bright white light.

The first thing Starswirl noticed, was that he was falling. His mane and beard was rippling in the wind. Looking down he saw the ground rushing up to meet him. Being a very intelligent pony, Starswirl did the only reasonable thing a pony in his position could do. He panicked.

“AAAAAAAAHHHH! BOOOOOOLLOOOOOCKS!” he shouted while frantically beating his legs at the air, causing himself to tumble. Which was great, because it brought a startled looking Twilight Sparkle into his field of view. Starswirl latched onto her, as if she was his long lost mother.

With Starswirl’s legs locked around her, Twilight seemed to come out of her daze. She blinked at him. “What?”

“WINGS!” Starswirl shouted, his voice shrill.

“Wings?” Twilight repeated stupidly. “OH! WINGS! RIGHT!” She unfurled her wings and began flapping for all she was worth. As a result, they only crashed somewhat hard into the thornbush below.

Starswirl ended up on his back, with Twilight on top of him. He groaned as a multitude of thorns dug painfully into his back. He opened his eyes, with their noses only inches apart, Twilight's sheepish grin filled his entire vision. “I told you to double check the spell,” he growled between clenched teeth.

Twilight's ears fell back, and she chuckled nervously, “Whoopsie…” She shifted slightly, causing them both to yelp in pain as the thorns dug in deeper.

“How could you fail to consider the possibility that my tower might be gone?!” Starswirl snarled.

Twilight jerked away from his voice, cowering as if it had been a physical blow. “I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have missed something so obvious… I’m so sorry.”

“You’re a dimwit, Miss Sparkle. A plonker of the worst kind, and you will be the death of me. Now get off me, you’re heavy.”

Twilight’s ears went up again, and she glowered at him. “Are you calling me fat?”

“Yes. Yes I am. You ARE fat. Like a pig with wings.”

Twilight’s mouth fell open, her eyes going wide as if she couldn't believe what she had just heard. Then her face contorted with rage. Suddenly, Starswirl had a creeping suspicion that he might have gone too far. “Ehmm... only an average sized pig” he amended quickly. For some reason that only seemed to make the purple alicorn even more angry. Oh Bollocks.

Several minutes later, they were sitting outside the bush with Twilight pulling at a particularly large thorn stuck in Starswirl's back. “You are a very violent princess” Starswirl said.

“You had it coming,” Twilight stated flatly. “Now hold still, this is the last one.” She janked at the thorn and it came loose with yelp from the older unicorn. “Now, repeat what I told you.”

Starswirl gritted his teeth, and forced out the words that had literally been hammered into him, “You are not fat, but rather a product of a more healthy way of life. The ponies of my time are scrawny due to malnourishment and overwork. As such, comparing you to any of them would be pointless.”

Twilight nodded, a satisfied smile on her face. “Now, let’s go and make you some friends.”

“I can hardly wait,” Starswirl murmured under his breath. He turned and looked up at the point, high above, where they had appeared. That had been terrifying, no wonder Clover always screamed when he tossed her out the window. Feeling a bit guilty, he resolved to be nicer to her in the future... or at least not toss her out the window any more.

Clover the Clever sneezed, the dust in the tunnel kept getting in her nose. She rubbed at it with a hoof, if only Uncle Swirly hadn’t found out about the chimney and warded it, she would already be inside. But as it was, she had little choice but to keep digging, the Princess was counting on her, and Clover had no intention of letting her down. She would get inside, and she would destroy it all as per instruction. Clover felt a bit sorry for Uncle Swirly, but he was a big pony, he would get over it… eventually.

She drove her spade into the earth wall, there was a scraping sound as rocks grated against other rocks. Then there was a hoof sized hole connecting the tunnel with Uncle Swirls cellar. Clover smiled a wicked smile. She was in.

It took them three hours to find a road, something that Starswirl was very happy about, though he did his best not to show it. Twilight was getting more and more agitated, as the time dragged by.

“Where is everypony?” she asked.

Starswirl was about respond when his ears picked up the sound of crying in the distance. “Can you hear that?”

Twilight’s ears perked up as well, then she grinned. “Sounds like somepony needs your help!”

Starswirl grimaced, he had secretly been hoping to miss out on this part all together. “Maybe we should let it be... Whoever is crying, probably wants to be left alone...”

“Nonsense!” Twilight said as she began pushing him towards the sound.

The source of the sound was not a pony at all, but rather a strange monster that looked like a blend of a minotaur, a lion, a bat and an albino alligator. Upon seeing them it raised a paw and waved at them, tears still streaming down its face. “Hello ponies!”

Twilight gaped at it. Starswirl, seeing Twilight reaction, decided to just roll with it. If for no other reason but to annoy her. He walked forward and greeted the monster.

“Hello, I am Starswirl the Bearded and this is my assistant Twilight Jiggle.” Starswirl said, smiling inwardly at the outraged intake of breath behind him.

“Cute ponies, Scorpan will call you Swirlyswirl and Jigglejiggle” the monster said, rubbing at his red rimmed eyes.

“If I may ask, why were you crying?” Starswirl asked.

The monster let out a loud moan of anguish, and started crying again. “Scorpan’s brother wants to hurt ponies, but ponies are so cute! Scorpan doesn't know what to do!”

Starswirl tried to exchange a look with Twilight, only to realize too late that her gaze held nothing but fury and promise of retribution. He looked away quickly, before he could get singed. Naming her Twilight Jiggle suddenly seemed like a very stupid thing to have done.

Starswirl turned back to the monster, “Well Scorpan… why don’t you and I become friends? And together, I am sure we can figure something out that will make everypony happy.”

Scorpan sniffed, “Really? Swirlyswirl really thinks so?”

“Suuuurrree,” Starswirl replied, a forced grin on his face. “Why don’t you tell me all about it.” Twilight had at some point walked off and was now punching a tree. Starswirl did his best to ignore her as he sat down next to Scorpan.

The monster took a couple of moments to calm himself before beginning, “Scorpan’s brother Tirek heard that Discord was gone, so he came to Scorpan and said: Scorpan lets go and take all the magic in Equestria. Scorpan thought it sounded like fun, so Scorpan agreed. But then there was cute Ponies everywhere and Scorpan felt bad for taking their magic. And now Scorpan has no idea what to do!”

“Okayyy...” Starswirl said slowly, “Eeehmm, Okay, here is what you do. Go to the big white pony named Celestia… Do you know who I am talking about?”

Scorpan nodded.

“Okay good, Go to her and tell her that you’re a friend of Starswirl the Bearded, and that your brother is up to no good. Then you go home and she will go and talk to Tirek and convince him to stop hurting the cute ponies.”

“Really?” Scorpan asked, his voice filled with hope.

Starswirl grinned at him, “Absolutely.”

Clover stepped into Uncle Swirly’s study and her gaze was immediately drawn to the two crystal orbs that illuminated the room. One was glowing with a dark blue colour mixed with red, the other was white mixed with pink.

Clover frowned, Which one held the alicorn magic? She was pretty sure it was the white one, but she wasn’t completely sure . She shrugged, might as well break both.

Author's Note

Once again, sorry for taking so long to get the chapter out. Inspiration for another story struck me... hard... with a baseball bat. So for the sake of my sanity, I have been writing on that instead.(It's a romantic comedy by the way. *wink, wink, nudge, nudge*) It might also have something to do with the fact that the end of Starswirl and the Purple Terror is fast approaching, shouting battle cries and making rude gestures. I could beat it back with a club called "Caverns of Maretania", but no one would want to see that.

Also, I got more fan-art! A picture of Clover being flung from Starswirl's Tower! :D

Day 12, Part 3, FINALE

“That didn’t count,” Twilight said with a growl. “We are doing this all over again tomorrow. And this time we are NOT doing it in the future.”

Starswirl frowned at the purple alicorn, as she paced back and forth on the dirt road. The fading light were stretching both their shadows long. “But I did make a friend...” Starswirl said.

Twilight ground her teeth, “Do you actually think you and Scorpan are friends? You basically tricked him into betraying his brother! And I bet he doesn't care more about you than any other ‘cute pony’!”

Starswirl shrugged, he couldn't really argue with that assessment. “How long until the spell ends and we are returned to my time?” he asked.

Twilight sighed deeply, “Half an hour... more or less. Not enough time to do anything but wait.”

Starswirl sat down on the road. “Well, when we get back lets have some coffee and chocolate. Then we can decide this argument with a game of chess.”

Twilight sighed, “I would like that.” She gave him a tiny smile.

Clover spun the wheel that controlled the metal construction’s levitation field. She watched the crystal orb slowly sink to the ground, landing with a gentle thud. Putting her hoof on it, the white and pink light within seemed to intensify. Heart hammering, Clover quickly rolled it over the thick carpet, towards the newly lit fireplace. She would smash both the orbs into it, and the fire would take care of the rest.

Clover rose up on her rearlegs, holding the orb over her head. “BANZAI!” she shouted and hurled it into the fire. The room filled with the sound of breaking glass as the crystal container broke against the stones of the fireplace. The fire blazed up in a frenzy, and waves of heat flowed over Clover’s body.

“Woooow” Clover said, her voice full of awe. “That’s sooooo cool!”

Hurriedly she ran over the the other orb and lowered it just like she had with the first. The darkblue magic within, bubbled and spun in what seemed like, complete peace. Clover rolled it over to the fireplace and lifted it. She stopped for a moment, looking into the roiling white and pink flames. This was it, Clover the Clever, the hero of the ages was about to take her place in history.

Then there was a popping sound behind her, followed by a voice she knew all too well. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?”

Clover felt cold dread down her spine, but she had come too far to stop now. “I am sorry Uncle Swirly, but this is for Clover the Clever!” And with those words Clover tossed the second orb into the fire.

Starswirl watched the orb fly through the air, as if in slow motion. All that work, heading right for the fire. Wait… why was the fire pink?! Don’t tell me...oh dear. The second crystal orb exploded inside the fireplace, darkblue magic mixing with pink flames. The room started to shake.

“What's happening?” Twilight shouted as she held on to him for balance.

“I don’t know!” Starswirl shouted back. “Clover mixed your’s and Pinkie Pies’ magic with each other. But that shouldn’t be possible! It doesn't make any sense.”

“Oohooruggu buuuut whhhhaaaaat fun is there iiinnnnn making sense?” the fire gurgled.

Clover shrieked in panic and galloped away from the fire, screaming, “IT’S ALIVE!”

“Alive… yeeeessss! But not yet complete!” the fire hissed as it rippled with every color imaginable.

Starswirl nudged Twilight in the ribs, her wide eyes turned and met his. “What?” she asked.

“Try talking to it,” Starswirl murmured.

“Why me?” Twilight hissed back.

“You’re it’s mother, aren’t you?”

Twilight’s eyes went wide, and her jaw dropped open. She slowly lifted a hoof and pointed to herself.

“Yes you,” Starswirl confirmed. “And Pinkie Pie too… you really ought to tell her.”

Twilight just continued to gape at Starswirl, her brain clearly not processing anything. Starswirl sighed before turning back to the fire. “Greeti-”

His greeting was drowned out as the sound of a drum roll filled the room. The flames coalesced into a strange elongated shape. Stepping out of the fireplace, it spread it’s newly formed arms wide. The drum roll ended. “TA TA!” it said, in a new happy sounding voice.

Twilight gaped at the creature, “Discord?!”

“Discord? Hmm, I suppose that’s as good name as any,” the thing said. “Yes, I AM DISCORD! Lord of… hmm I suppose I need to think of a good title.” He made a snapping sound with his claws. Every inanimate object in the room came alive and began running up the walls.

What in bloody tartarus… What kind of magic is this?! Starswirl spun on the spot, trying to take it all in. Then he noticed years worth of research journals flying out the window. “NOOOOOOOOO!” he shouted and flung himself after them. But before he could do anything, Discord snapped his claws again, and they were outside. Looking around, Starswirl couldn't help but to notice that his beloved tower was now a banana.

Starswirl gaped at the giant fruit that used to be his home. Feeling numb, he could only think, Well that explains why my tower was gone in the future…

Discord placed a claw on Starswirl’s shoulder, “No need to thank me, it was my pleasure! BruhahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” The creature took a step off to the side, “Now if you excuse me, I have a world to improve!” And with another snap of his claws, he was gone.

Clover rubbed at the back of her neck before looking up with a sheepish smile. ”Whoops.”

“YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!” Starswirl roared, he was up in an instant, rushing the younger unicorn.

Clover shrieked and ran around Twilight, trying to keep the alicorn between herself and Starswirl. Twilight just sat in the grass, her mouth still hanging open as the two ponies darted around her.

Clover ended the stalemate by flinging a hoof-full of dirt in Starswirl’s eyes and then galloping away into the darkness. Starswirl rubbed at his eyes as he shouted profanities after her. He turned around and looked at Twilight, “Don’t just sit there we must go after that creature!”

Twilight blinked and met his gaze. “It’s no use! Discord will reign as the Lord of Chaos for roughly 500 years before Celestia and Luna are finally able to defeat him.” Twilight lifted a hoof and pointed to the sky. “Look he has already turned the sky green and the clouds into crabs.”

Starswirl glanced at the sky and saw that Twilight was indeed correct. He closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh, “Well then… I think I know what to do.”

Twilight tilted her head to the side. “What?”

“I’m going to timetravel away from now and rebuild my tower. I refuse to live in a land that is not going to make sense.”

“But what about all your research? All your journals?”

A pained expression came over Starswirl’s face, “Well… I believe I will cry manly tears over them later.”

Twilight grimaced, “I am sorry about all of this.”

“Don’t be Twilight Sparkle. In these two weeks you have taught me something very valuable.”

“I have?” Twilight asked doubtfully. Then her eyes widened, “Wait… you do intend to tell me where in time you are going to travel, right? So I can find you.”

“Nope” Starswirl said with a grin, as he turned and trotted off. He heard Twilight calling out after him, but he ignored her. They would meet again soon enough, since the time he planned to travel to, was in fact only a couple of thousand years ahead.

Because in that time, there lives at least one pony that is not a complete nincompoop.

THE END

Author's Note

Okay folks, that's it. The End. I hope you enjoyed this headcanon story of what really happened back in the day. Now it's time to hit that thumbs up (or down) and let me know what you thought.

Then I guess it's Goodbye... unless you are following my new story. *cough* *cough*

Day 4

Day 4

Starswirl wasn't a morning pony, had never been. So when the warm light of the newly raised sun hit his body through the window, he stubbornly ignored it. The sun shone on, mercilessly. After a shot internal debate, he decided to crack one eye open ever so slightly, so he could use his magic to pull the drapes closed. However, when he did, his vision was obscured by two humongous purple eyes.

Starswirl let out a loud yelp, scrambling backwards, resulting in him tumbling out of the bed. Tangled in the bed sheets, he remained on the floor for several moment as he tried to catch his breath. "Are you trying to kill me Twilight Sparkle?" he finally managed.

Twilight had the grace to look embarrassed. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to... It was just that, the sun went up and you didn't move and I thought that maybe you had... you know. So I was just gonna check for some vital signs, honest!"

Starswirl crawled up into bed again, pulling the blanket over his head as he did so. "I'm going back to sleep." he said grumpily from underneath the covers.

"What?" Twilight asked, taken aback, "But the sun is up! Its a beautiful new day, filled with new amazing discoveries to be made!"

"They can bite my shaggy hindquarters for all I care!" Starswirl replied.

Twilight gaped at the sorcerer shaped mound on the bed. "How can you even say that?!" she asked.

"Because its Monday!" Starswirl snapped, "I don't study on Mondays."

Twilight seemed even more baffled at this revelation, but after overcoming her initial apprehension her voice took on a sad note. "Oh I'm sorry, I was just looking forward to work with you today. But, I suppose that at your age it's not strange to take a day off for rest."

Starswirl poked his head out from underneath the covers, "What do you mean... at my age?! Can't a stallion grow a respectable beard without being considered both half-dead and senile?" Twilight opened her mouth to respond, but Starswirl rolled right over her as he continued, "And for your information I'm not taking the whole day off, Mondays are the days when I reorganize everything and make a checklist for the coming week."

Twilight blinked a few times as the last part sunk in, then tears began welling up in her eyes. "I see."

Starswirl peered at her under a raised eyebrow, "Are you okay Miss Sparkle?"

"Yeah" Twilight sniffed, wiping at her eyes with a foreleg, "I'm just so happy."

Day 7, Part 2

Author's Note

Mapu made a comment on wanting more, so here you go, have some more.

Day 7, Part 2

Day 7, Part 2

Starswirl mind raced, there had to be a way to clear up this misunderstanding, there just had too! Shooting Celestia a quick glance, he realized it was futile, she looked like she was having way too much fun. Still, Starswirl had to try, for the sake of his reputation if for nothing else.

“I'm not that old!” he blurted out. No you fool! What are you doing, sounding all defensive?

“Hoho,” Celestia’s smile grew even wider, before she turned back to Twilight. “Would you agree with that statement my little pony?” she asked sweetly.

Twilights covered her head with forehooves, her blush deepening, “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? You don’t have to be sorry,” Celestia said, making no effort to hide her amusement, “We feel that this should all be put into verse... wouldn't you agree Starswirl?”

Starswirl felt sweat at the back of his neck, this was rapidly getting out of control, and Twilight wasn’t helping. He needed to derail Celestia and quickly before this got any worse.

“She's actually... my apprentice AND a relative of mine,” he lied.

Celestia lifted an eyebrow, clearly not believing a word of it, “Really?” she said with a chuckle, “Then, what was she doing hiding in the supply cabinet?”

Starswirl had to quell his first impulse to claim that she had been gathering supplies. That wouldn't work and would only serve to make the situation completely unsalvageable. Think Starswirl! There has to be something you can work with… Suddenly he had it, he could use her vanity against her.

“Well the truth is that my apprentice is a huge admirer of yours,” Starswirls said, feeling a bit smug as he noticed Celestia's ears twitch.

“Is she now?” Celestia asked as she turned back to Twilight.

“Yes,” Starswirl replied, “But she's also very shy. So when she heard the trumpets she panicked and ended up hiding in the cabinet. The reason she's blushing like that is because she feels unworthy to be so close to your esteemed presence.”

For a brief moment Celestia seemed unsure what version of events she wanted to believe, the one that would make for excellent gossip or the one that meant she would have another fervent admirer. Her vanity proved stronger than her inner sadist however and she gave Twilight a kindly smile, “Is this true?”

Twilight simple whimpered that she was sorry again.

This seemed to confirm it for Celestia and she scooped Twilight up in a warm hug. “You don’t have to feel unworthy, We love all our subjects equally.”

Twilight, her eyes wide, looked over Celestia's shoulder at Starswirl, who was doing a small victory dance.