It was an average day in Ponyville, Celestia's sun was shining, various ponies were bargaining prices at the midday bazaar, and a certain sect of blank flanks were out and about causing mischief and mayhem. It was on this day two weeks, five days, and 16 hours after the Canterlot wedding that a gray stallion carrying a briefcase stalked into the town. Moments later a pink pony happily bounced past him in the opposite direction. Several seconds after that, the bright pink pony froze mid-bounce, did a double take, and promptly gasped. Then she began to speak at hyper-sonic speeds, "I'veneverseenyoubeforeandifI'veneverseenyoubeforethenthatmeansyou'renewbecauseIknoweveryponyinPonyvilleandifyou'reknewthenthatmeansyou'venevermetanyponyandifyou'venevermetanyponythenthatmeansyoumustnothaveanyfriendsandifyoudon'thaveanyfriendsthenyoumustbelonelyandthatmakesmesosadsoIjusthadanideatohaveagreatbigginormoussuperduperspectacularwelcomingpartyandinviteeveryponyinPonyvillesothatmeansI'llneedyouradresssoIcanknowwheretoplanforthepartytobesowecanallshouttogether," She took a deep breath for the next three words, "WELCOME TO PONYVIIIIIIIIIIIIILLE!"
"…Let me get this straight." Began the grey earth pony slowly, lifting up his head to peer at the slightly vibrating pink pony. Suddenly his hoof shot out to point at her, "You," He shifted his hoof to point at his questioning face, "Want to know where I'm going to be living," Turning his hoof back towards the pony with sky-blue eyes he continued, "So that you can throw a party," He ended his bout of clarification with his hoof pointed at his own face, "To welcome me to Ponyville."
"Exactly! You got it perfect-werfect! You must be a super-duper smarty pony!" The exuberant pony nodded her head sagely, "Normally I'm forced to repeat myself because they didn't understand the first time."
The grey stallion chucked with a slight smile, "The ability to listen has nothing to do with being smart Miss…" He trailed off expecting for the energetic mare to divulge her name unto him.
"You silly. I'm not Miss, I'm Pinkie Pie but all my friends just call me Pinkie, what's your name?" She tilted her head and curiously gazed into the stallion's shining silver eyes.
"I am called Ironwood, as for where I am staying…" He chuckled nervously and scratched at the back of his messy head of jet-black hair, "Could you point me in the direction of the nearest inn?"
"There's only one inn in Ponyville, silly-wily, and to get to Berry Punch's Bed 'n Bar you must,"The exuberant pony struck an epic pose, "Cross the way of the warrior without being seen," Pinkie ran in place on the tip of her hooves, "Amble through the alicorn alleyways of unimaginable terror," She switched to teetering on her hind legs with her fore legs raised above her considerably poofy mane, "Survive the sea of rooftops and chimneys," At this point Pinkie was using her ninja skills in tandem with her inexplicable ability to bend and stretch reality to reappear in a different spot for each challenge that she stated. This went on for about a minute before the pink pony ended with, "…Or you could just go down the path until you arrive at the place that you're going to but I recommend the first way, it'll be a lot more fun!" With that Pinkie pie, element of laughter, resident super duper party pony of Ponyville, walked in a seemingly random direction and disappeared into thin air.
The gray stallion blinked his silver eyes in wonder at the spot that the energetic pony had just disappeared from. He shrugged, resolving to ponder the question of why she was able to do what she did at a later date, and turned towards the direction he planned to go in. "I think I'll take the direct path." With that Ironwood hoisted his briefcase and started down the path.
As Ironwood traveled down the road he noticed a couple of mares arguing in the front yard of one of the houses that flanked the cobblestone street. One was a soft shade of washed sea green, a unicorn, while the other an earth pony sporting a two-tone blue and pink mane.
The faded-yellow earth pony was yelling heatedly at the golden eyed unicorn about some obsession that was driving her insane while said unicorn defended herself by shouting.
This is what fell upon the ears of the passing stallion, "Come on Lyra, you've gotta' forget about those imaginary creatures that you're always obsessing over. I swear with Celestia as my witness that your 'research' is driving me crazy!"
"First of all, Bonbon, humans are not imaginary! I have an extremely reliable source that tells me of ancient ruins that contain hard evidence that humans did used to exist in Equestria, billions of years ago! And second of all-"
"You're crazy to believe that something your uncle heard from his drinking buddy who heard it from his colleague who heard it from his town's resident old coot who heard it from some jerk off named Luffy rings with any more truth than a chronic liar!"
At that point the grey earth pony tuned out the two mares and their shouting match as he continued down the way. He did note them down next to Pinkie on his mental list of crazy ponies though.
Soon enough Ironwood's shining eyes caught sight of a sign portraying the words that he was searching for, Berry Punch's Bed 'n Bar. The two story building looked nice enough, It was built of bricks unlike nearly every house in the town which meant that it had a much better chance at surviving if the town caught fire, and it only had windows on the second story leading the observant stallion to believe that all of the residential rooms were on that floor. The lot itself appeared to take up the same amount of space as two separate houses, and was relatively clean as far as bars went.
As Ironwood stood in front of the double doors that led into the building he desired to enter, a thought struck him. "It's quiet… Too quiet." The grey earth pony mentally and physically smacked himself, "Ugh, this isn't the time for one liners." With that he slowly raised his hoof to the double doors and with a single flick of his fetlock he flung them open.
"SURPRISE!!!"
"Aaah!" A startled Ironwood flung himself backwards with a backflip into some nearby shrubbery. From said shrubbery, the stallion could hear a raspy voice laughing. It was distinctly female.
"Ha! Did you see the look on his face? It was like his eyes were gonna pop out!" It was the same mare who had been laughing.
A much deeper voice sounded, "Eeyup."
"Huh. Ah didn't 'xpect he'd react quite like that."
"Yeah, it was totally awesome how he just disappeared into that bush!"
"Hey! Maybe we could get our cutiemarks for being awesome!" It was a younger voice, though still raspy like the first.
"What would a cutiemark for awesomeness even look like?" The new speaker sounded like an equally young filly.
"Well…" The young raspy voice trailed off for a moment, "Well of course, it would look like Rainbow Dash's cutiemark! She's the awesomest pony in Ponyville! No, in all of Equestria!"
At this point the stallion had crept out of the bush and past the entrance unnoticed by any of the many ponies inside. They were all busy enjoying the spectacle that the two fillies were putting on.
"Hey yeah I'm the awesomest pony in Equestria!" The black-maned stallion saw a blue pegasus do a loop-de-loop threw the air. Now he was in the back of the crowd standing next to a brown earth pony with the image of an hourglass on his hindquarters.
Ironwood whispered to the spiky maned pony next to him, "Hey buddy, do you know who this party is for?"
He answered without looking at the stallion that was talking to him, "The poor chap we just scared into the bushes, apparently his name is something like steel timber, or tungsten oak, or gold tree, or-"
"Ironwood."
"Yeah that sounds about right, anyway I guess he just arrived in Ponyville today so just like always Pinkie organized a surprise party for 'im." His voice held a slight accent, "Hey, come to think of it you. Should. Know. That…" His speech slowed to a halt as he finally turned to look at the one he'd been conversing with.
"Actually, no. Ya see I don't know if you know but I'm new here so I don't know all the things that you would know about the town, ya know?" Ironwood smirked.
"How did you, sneak up on me?" The grey stallion deepened his smirk at the shocked look that was shone to him.
"That's my little secret."
Then, "OH OH OH! WHAT'S YOUR SECRET? I WANNA KNOW YOUR SECRET! DID YOU KNOW I'M GREAT AT KEEPING SECRETS!!!" Pinkie happened.
At the sound of Pinkie's voice all eyes in the room turned to see the pink party pony balancing on one hoof on the back of the guest of honor. An awkward silence then set in as every pony took in the sight of him. Rainbow Dash was the one to brake the silence.
"How'd you sneak in here without any pony noticing?! Are you a spy?!" Her yell sounded angry so when Equestria's fastest flier zoomed strait at him he rolled to the side in an attempt to dodge, and in the process threw Pinkie off of his back. Seeing that her target had moved Rainbow Dash quickly changed trajectory. She landed with her face a few inches from his and whispered so that only he could hear. "By the way could you teach me how to do that jumpy-flipy thing you did before?"
He chuckled nervously and scratched the back of his messy jet-black mane, "Sure, I guess we could schedule something."
The flighty pegasus took to the air and hollered in joy, "AWESOME! With skills like those I'll be 25% cooler! Then the wonderbolts'll be begin' me to join!" When she noticed all eyes in the room were now on her she lowered herself to the floor and chuckled sheepishly, "Heh, I mean. Cool, I'm up for whatever."
Every pony chuckled at the mare's display. From the back of the crowd there was a shout, "LET'S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!!!" Unsurprisingly the culprit was Pinkie Pie. She one of her pink hooves shot straight through the crowd and wrapped itself around Ironwood's shoulders and pulled him over to where she was across the room. She took a deep breath, "I want you to meet…" Then she went on an introduction spree, "ApplejackFluttershyRainbowdashRarityTwilightsparkleVinylscratchBulkbicepsDerpyhoovesDoctorhoovesDinkyhoovesSpikeThunderlaneCloudkickerApplebloomSweetiebelleScootalooCherilyDiamondtiaraSilverspoonMrcakeMrscakepumpkincakepoundcakeCloudchaserFlitterCarmelColgateCarrottopRoseluckFeatherweightPipsqueakBigmacGrannysmithSnipsSnailsBerrypunchTwistNurseredheart…" Pinkie Pie continued to rush through the crowd naming off all of the ponies they ran into. It was done in less than half a minute.
With wide eyes the newest resident of Ponyville slowly turned to see the smoke trail that marked the path they had taken to meet the nigh-on two hundred ponies crammed into the space of one huge room. He gulped and smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his messy black mane. "Hi every pony, My name is Ironwood."
It's an interesting feeling to have nearly two-hundred different voices all saying the same thing to you, WELCOME TO PONYVILLE IRONWOOD!" with that they all turned to each other and chatted happily.
Figuring it better to secure a room actually socializing the raven-haired stallion searched for the mare named 'Berry Punch' because chances were that she owned Berry Punch's Bed 'n Bar. As he searched the crowd he mused to himself, "This Berry Punch must have quite the left hook."
"You bet you're flank I gotta' jaw shattering left hook! Come to think of it my right hook isn't bad either."
The stallion turned towards the voice and saw a light purple coat with a dark pink mane. The mare had a foreleg curled in such a way to show off her cut muscles. "It would seem that my search has ended, I presume that you are the hostess of this establishment?" Sometimes it's just a lot of fun to use big words.
"Yeah I own this joint, you're the new guy, right?"
"That I am, and being said newcomer I am without a space to stay. It is thus why I have come to you, to secure lodgings for the extent of my stay, or until I decide to make this place my permanent place of residence." He flashed the mare a small yet hopeful smile.
She began tapping her hoof on the floor "Hmm…" She squinted in thought, "Yeah, I think I've got an empty room you can use. And don't worry about paying me straight away, I use a monthly payment system."
"Thank's a million! I was worried I'd have to stay out in the cold until I built a shelter." The relief was visible on the stallion's face as he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.
"No probs my friend, just make sure you pay on time." She tossed him a key, "Room 13, go up those stairs to get to the residential area. Oh, and before I forget, It's an even hundred bits a month."
Ironwood closed his eyes and nodded sagely, "I see… That's a lot of bits."
~Ironwood closed his eyes and nodded sagely, "I see… That's a lot of bits."~
The raven-maned stallion looked between the key in his hoof and the crowd around him. He shrugged, "They won't mind if I disappear for a few…" And so he made his way towards the set of stairs that supposedly led up to the residential area.
Just before his hoof landed on the first step he felt a chill crawl up his spine. Looking up with a blank face he saw Pinkie Pie looming above him, her smile a little too wide. "You should know the guest of honor doesn't leave the party early."
"Huh," Ironwood chose to play it cool while inside he was panicking, "Y'know Pinkie, you're right." The stallion flashed her a pleasant smile, actually keeping the terror off of his face as he continued, "I do know the guest of honor doesn't leave the party early…" He brushed his mane back with one of his forelegs, "But y'see I'm not actually leaving the party. Technically it's in Berry Punch's Bed 'n Bar, not specifically any part of this fine establishment. Since I'm not leaving the building, I am by extent, not leaving the party. Either way I'll be back down in a few jiffies." With that he confidently strode past the stunned mare, the gears turning in her head almost visible.
As soon as he turned the corner he let out a breath as he took shaky steps towards room number 13. "I have never met such a scary mare in my entire life." The silver eyed stallion decided to note the pink pony under his list of ponies to avoid as much as possible.
He slid the steel key into it's hole and twisted. With nothing more than a click, the door glided open to reveal a dark room. One bed, one window, one desk, one cushion, one sink, one door presumably to the washroom, one dresser, one bookshelf, one overhead light, no stove, no refrigerator, no pictures, no cabinets, half a potted plant, no holes in the walls, no coatrack, no mirrors. Over all, pretty bare, but not unlivable. Casting a look over his shoulder at a pink shape down the hall, Ironwood tossed his briefcase on the bed. Shutting and locking the door he approached the stairs where the equine shape was spying on him.
Before he got too close though, it disappeared. Putting the snooper down for later investigation, Ironwood returned to the party where it seemed a large group of them were playing pin the tail on the pony. There were other games strewn about the bar on one side of the room and one in particular caught his silver eye's interest. He walked over and put his hoof to one of the pieces. The black pawn.
"Are you familiar with the game of chess?" The voice sounded worn, like that of one who had been many places and seen many sights.
It turned out that the speaker was an old donkey wearing a blond toupee. Ironwood wracked his brain for the name, "What was your name? Clanky? Pranky? Franky?"
"It's Cranky. Plain and simple." The donkey held a look of indifference as he pushed his queen side center pawn two squares forward. "New in town, eh?"
"Yeah, I arrived today." Ironwood plucked one of the black knights off of the board and inspected it, "Though I didn't see to many ponies on my way here." Done with the inspection, the stallion placed his knight in front of the row of black pawns.
"With the exception of Pinkie Pie." A pawn moved to back up it's comrade. "She welcomes any and every newcomer to Ponyville." Crankey somewhat snorted as he lifted his hoof off of the piece, "Even when they don't want a welcome."
Ironwood smiled as he moved his pawn up to block the precession of the enemy, "I suppose you speak from experience?"
A knight moved to attack the black pawn, "Let's just say that on my first day in Ponyville I got the exact opposite of what I came here for, compliments of Pinkie." The donkey had a hell of a poker face.
The move was mirrored to attack the white pawn, "I sense there is more of a story than you're letting on."
Cranky nodded as he inspected the board, "You're right, shenanigans had defiantly ensued on that day." Suddenly the white bishop was attacking a pinned black knight.
Ironwood raised an eyebrow at the apparently foolhardy move. "What sort of shenanigans are we talking about?" The black pawn on the end traveled forward one square to attack the white bishop.
"The kind involving cake batter," The bishop backed up to the edge of the board, while still keeping the black knight pinned.
A second black pawn was driven forward two spaces to continue chasing the white bishop, "Wagons,"
The white knight swooped in and gobbled the offending pawn, "Singing and dancing,"
The pawn protecting it's brother killed the knight in an act of revenge, which also freed up the black rook, "Running in terror,"
The bishop simultaneously slaughtered the avenging pawn and sidestepped the rook's deadly sights, while keeping a certain black knight pinned. "Pinkie Pie,"
Ironwood shoved his white-square black bishop in between his knight and king, thus protecting said knight from meaningless obliteration and also freeing it up for movement. "And last but not least, a romantic reunion."
They were both silent as Cranky observed the board and debated his next move. The silver-eyed stallion licked his lips in anticipation, attempting to calculate what the donkey's next move in this game of war would be. Finally Cranky pushed his pawn up two squares to C-4 and both protected his bishop from potential dangers and attacked the black pawn on D-5.
It was then that Ironwood decided to continue their conversation, "Sounds like that day had a pretty unique type of shenanigans."
"Yes, yes it did."
And so the game of chess continued, both sides too engaged in mental combat to pay attention to the party around them. They remained focused even after the ponies with offspring went home and the hard apple cider was broken out for the ponies of age. They remained focused even after a pair of drunk mares tried to duke it out before being taken care of by the owner of the establishment. At one point or another there was a musical number about what it meant to be a decent mare but the two couldn't care less about how embarrassingly drunk some ponies were acting.
Finally after hours of mental warfare both Cranky and Ironwood were left with only their kings. Ironwood was the one to speak first "Well. I guess that's stalemate. Good conversation and game, Cranky."
The toupee wearing donkey nodded, saying "Anytime, my friend."
Suddenly there was a large gasp from across the emptying room. "WHAT?" Pinkie Pie's voice cracked with shock "How did you become Cranky's friend in just a couple of hours, when it took me a whole DAY to get him to say it?" She eyed Ironwood suspiciously "What's your secret?" When the raven haired stallion shrugged Pinkie 'Hrumph'ed and slowly backed away from the table saying "I got my eye on you…"
"And I you, Pinkie. And I you..." At the donkey's questioning eyebrow the grey stallion shrugged, "She's quite the character."
Cranky nodded his head in affirmation, "That she is." The donkey craned his head over the board and ran a practiced eye over the positioning of the pieces, his brow scrunched in concentration.
The raven maned stallion turned away from the battle of wills and faced towards the ponies who'd gathered a few tables away and were betting up a storm from the sound of bits hitting the table. "-think? Who'll win? The local champion or this no-name new guy? Five to one odds on the grey stallion, do I have any more takers?"
Just as the earth pony was about to put a stop to the betting, Cranky spoke, "Ah let them have their fun, those stallions ain't got nothin' else but each other to keep 'em company. They, like so many others came here for the peace that you can only get from a place like Ponyville."
Ironwood sighed, "I know that better than most, it's why I came. It's just, it doesn't sit well with me, leaving it up to chance like that." The stallion's silver eyes lowered for a moment as his mouth creased into a reminiscent frown, "I know from experience that Lady Luck up there just loves to shove her dirty socks down our throats every chance she gets."
Cranky's eyebrow ascended once more, "I sense there is a story here."
The stallion released a sigh, "For another time." He glanced down at the board and moved a piece, "And, checkmate. Good game you old coot."
"Heh, cheeky brat." The two players turned away from each other, smiling greatly.
Ironwood stared at the ceiling from his perch on his bed. Sleep had never come easy for the stallion but it was especially hard for him that night. His mind was full of possibilities, he wondered if Ponyville would truly be a new start for him and he wondered if the past would try to gobble him up as it did his father.
Banishing such thoughts from his mind the stallion sat up, thinking about how he'd pay for his stay. He supposed he'd have to fall back on his special talent to get himself those bits. He opened his briefcase, reaching in. What he pulled out was a small contraption. One flick of the fetlock later and the contraption was revealed as a silver extendable axe. An identical axe was also depicted on the grey stallion's rump.
Ironwood gave the axe a few experimental twirls, allowing himself a small smile, "Perfectly balanced as always." Staring at his prized possession, the raven maned stallion's mind began to whirl as an idea began to form. The earth pony began to pace as he twirled the extendable axe unconsciously, almost as if it where a habit, "Yes, no one would miss a tree here or there in that Everfree forest, and those trees themselves are almost undoubtedly magical. After all, the forest itself is, while not as well known as, say, the fires of Morhorse, it is somewhat known. Perhaps I'd be able to fashion charms of a sort out of the wood?" The earth pony shook his head, "No, ponies wouldn't want any kind of product from a place they believe to be cursed. That leaves me with the question of what I could provide that anypony around here would want. Well, I could probably get by as an employee? But, what if they manage to track me down? No, better to involve only myself, for the safety of others. That still leaves the question of what I'll be able to do for money." The tired stallion turned his gaze toward the night sky, a flick of the fetlock and the axe collapsed back into itself. Ironwood rested his head on the cushion at the head of the bed, pondering what he should do.
Berry Punch had just finished her normal morning setup when she happened to look up. She hadn't noticed the new guy sitting there when she came in. It bothered the feisty bar tender that her gaze had just passed right over him. "It's a bit early to be smelling the coffee don't you think?"
"I could say the same to you, but I agree." The stallion nodded to the purple mare, "Yeah, it's kind of habit for me, rising early I mean? Right now I'm extra tired, though. I couldn't sleep a wink, I was so busy pondering the question of how I'm going to make some enough money for an extended stay here in Ponyville."
An eyebrow was raised, "Money problems, you say? I've seen some of your moves so I can confidently say I think I can help you with that. If your up for it, of course."
