Spike Gets The Polio and only has 72 hours to touch Rarity’s butt and achieve everlasting Euphoria before he explodes.
Spike walked through a golden wheat field; it was sunset, and the sea of crop shone majestically before him as the gentle breeze formed waves all around him; rays of golden sunlight painting the skies above.
Our hero paid no attention to that. For in the crop field, was something even better that had caught his eye: something white. Something round. Something with three diamonds on the side and a purple protrusion. Rarity’s butt.
Rarity stood before him, staring longingly into Spike’s eyes. Spike ran towards her with an outstretched claw through the wheat that would one day be made into Celesti-O’s cereal (part of a complete breakfast!). Then something began to go wrong; oh, something went terribly wrong.
The landscape had become warped and twisted, as though it were a frame being vacuumed up from all four sides, leaving only darkness in its wake. Spike cried “Noooo!” melodramatically as his dream began to fade. But he couldn’t give up, he was so close. Just a few more steps and he would place his claw on Rarity’s–
Spike woke with a start. This wasn’t his normal bed, IT WAS A HOSPITAL BED. “What am I doing in a hospital...?” Spike wondered aloud, scanning his surroundings. It was the Ponyville hospital, where that doctor whose name nopony in the right mind should remember worked. There was a blanket covering his legs.
Suddenly, that Doctor walked in the room. “Spike... I’m sorry to say what’s happened...”
“What is it, Doc?”
“Spike...” the Doctor began, sitting down on a stool next to him. “I’m sorry, my dear boy, I am so truly sorry. But you’ve been diagnosed with The Polio.”
Spike’s heart began racing. How would he ever be able to run to Rarity’s to get a view of her truly divine, exquisite, beautiful home-grown booty? How could one be subjected to this reality!? The Doctor removed the curtain over Spike’s legs. They were limp and jello-like protrusions on his body, as though his bones had been removed. It was horrible, disgusting; repulsive. But, there was hope. Yes, a flicker of hope lit up in Spike’s heart.
“Doc!? Has it spread to my cock!?”
The Doctor looked at his medical clipboard as he spoke, “No, Spike, the polio has only affected your legs.”
Spike took a deep breath, dramatically turning towards the window with a heroic and dramatic glare. “Get me my wheelchair. I’ve got work to do.”
“Spike, The Polio is not something to be trifled with. And you’ve only got 3 days left. After that time, you’ll explode.”
The purple dragon continued looking out towards the distance. “A lot can be done in seventy-two hours, Doc.”
. . .
T-Minus 20 hours to explosion.
Spike wheeled his way into the crypt of Twilight’s Castle. It was time. After over two days of research, he’d finally found the answer. Here in the crypt lay an artifact of unspeakable power. It was produced by the Tree of Harmony itself upon restoring peace to the land after the first return of Tirek.
Before Spike lay a treasure chest. Picking the lock with his claws, Spike clicked it open. He pulled out the artifact. It was beautiful, mind-numbingly beautiful. In his hands was a perfect, gem-studded and gold plated fedora.
And HOLY SHIT ON A DICK SANDWICH, DID HE FEEL THE EUPHORIA HIT HIM LIKE A BUNCH FROM BRUCE LEE. ANY OTHER CREATURE WOULD’VE IMPLODED FROM THE SHEER EUPHORIA, BUT NOT SPIKE. HE WAS A MAN WITH A MISSION: A MISSION TO TOUCH RARITY’S BUTT.
Ever since Vinyl Scratch’s coronation, ponies all around had heard of Octavia’s sexual perfection, but there was hidden talent in Ponyville, a pony who could match the pleasure of even Octavia: Rarity. Rarity and her butt were pleasurable enough to turn even the purest cleric into a hedonistic heathen. The last pony who spanked Rarity’s perfect behind had a paralyzed hoof and an orgasm as they heard the delectable and gratifying smack of hoof upon flesh. And... fur. Anyway.
Spike knew there was more he had to do. True, TRUE euphoria comes from more than just gold-plated Fedora and the power of atheism. He had to perform a sacrifice to Luna (peace be upon her).
Using his newfound euphoric powers, Spike flew through the ceiling still attached to his wheelchair, exiting through the ground leaving behind a cosmic trail behind him. On his way up, he inexplicably retrieved a .50 calibur sniper rifle, akin to the one used to no-scope Tirek. The same kind of rifle that caused Blueblood to COMBUST INTO FLAME because he hardscoped (fuckin’ casual).
Spike flew into the air, basking in the light of the full moon with the wheelchair still somehow attached. It was as Luna (peace be upon her) would want. But he needed a sacrifice. A living sacrifice. Hopping along the ground he saw Angel Bunny, but no Fluttershy was around. Perfect.
Quickly raising his rifle, Spike QUICKSCOPE THE BITCH.
The last thing Angel heard was an epic bass drop before he FUCKING EXPLODED. Spike flew down to the crater formerly known as Angel Bunny. “Just as planned...” the devilish dragon proclaimed as a mustache and monocle sprouted forth onto his face. From his cloak, he pulled a 2 liter bottle of Mountain Dew: Goat-blood Red flavored and poured it on the ground in the shape of an upside-down pentagram.
“Yes... YES!!!”
The pentagram glowed, shining crimson red light onto Spike. Now all he had to do was perform the rest of the ritual.
Spike put a claw on the rim of his divine fedora. The euphoria was pumping, he began sweating on his scales (do dragons sweat? Most reptiles don’t...) in nervous anticipation. He did what he had to do: he tipped it and spoke the sacred phrase, completing the spell of Booty’s Desire.
“M’lady.”
The dark essence of the spell took hold of Spike, levitating him in the air as the aura of Luna’s (peace be upon her) divine magic poured into his body: enhancing the Euuphoria googolfold. For this moment, even the Gods of Euphoria like Neil DeGrasse Tyson, Richard Dawkins, and Sagan would bow before him. He had to finish it, otherwise the sheer Euphoria would evaporate him, and he would never get to touch Rarity’s butt.
“In this moment...” Spike began. The euphoria was so strong, could he master it? Could he win this epic battle!? “In this moment, I AM EUPHORIC!” he shouted into the night. “NOT BECAUSE OF SOME PHONY GOD’S BLESSING, BUT BECAUSE I AM ENLIGHTENED BY MY OWN INTELLIGENCE!”
The dark energy dissipated, and Spike fell back into his wheelchair, which now had Euphoric runes inscribed into it.
FEELING THE EUPHORIA COURSE THROUGH HIS VEINS, SPIKE ROLLED TO RARITY’S BOUTIQUE. HE RAMMED DOWN THE DOOR AND YELLED “RARITY, I’M HERE TO TOUCH YOUR BUTT!”
“What is the meaning of all this!? Rarity shouted as she made her way downstairs in her sexy nightdress. She then saw SPIKE IN ALL HIS EUPHORIC GLORY, AND THAT NIGHTDRESS DISAPPEARED RIGHT OFF OF HER. “LOVE ME!!” SHE SHOUTED TO SPIKE AS SHE TACKLED HIM WITH LUST.
WITHIN MINUTES, SPIKE HAD RARITY MAKE LIKE A ROCKING HORSE, COMPLETE WITH A CURVED AS HE RODE BACK AND FORTH ON HER BACK. HE WASN’T EVEN INSIDE OF HER, AND YET SHE WAS NOW HOT, BOTHERED, AND PLEASURED BY THE SHEER MIGHT OF SPIKE’S EUPHORIA, THE FEELING OF SPIKE’S BODY SIMPLY RIDING ATOP HER.
“Oh... oh Spike! This is simply divine!”
“SHUT UP, BITCH, AND KEEP ROCKING YOU SLUT!” SHOUTED SPIKE AS HE ROCKED HER BACK AND FORTH, EACH MOTION GIVING RARITY EVEN MORE PLEASURE. BACK, FORTH. BACK, FORTH. BACK FORTH, BACK FORTH. RARITY’S BREATHING INTENSIFIED INTO EROTIC AND LONGING AFFECTIONATE MOANS AS SHE ROCKED FASTER AND FASTER.
“OH CELESTIA, I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE, SPIKE! GET INSIDE OF ME, I NEED YOU SO BADLY!”
Meanwhile in Sweetie Belle’s room, she heard her sister’s cries. What in Celestia’s name is goin’ on down there?
Sweetie Belle approached Rarity’s room. The door was open by a crack. She opened the door to see acts that DEFINITELY SHOULD NOT BE VIEWED BY A FILLY, AND ARE SO JUICY THEY CAN’T EVEN BE PUT IN THE STORY.
. . .
Many hours later, Spike had finished. The fedora was now silver, as though all Euphoria had been drained from it. He looked at his watch. It was almost time. He looked over to his side to see Rarity wide-eyed and twitching in shock. She did orgasm over 420,000 times in the past nearly 20 hours. It had been a good run for Spike.
In his life, he’d done many accomplishments. He’d saved the Crystal Empire, he had sex with Rarity, it was all perfect. He noted a traumatized Sweetie Belle in the corner, but that was okay. Because you know what? He didn’t care anymore. He didn’t have reason to be worried about the consequences of destroying the life of an innocent child.
Spike looked at his watch. “Shit, not even a minute...” he said to himself. He placed a claw on Rarity’s butt. Although he’d done it many times before in the past twenty hours, this was not of lust but of satisfaction; of achievement. He was doing it. He was touching Rarity’s butt.
Tears came to his eyes. If there was any perfect way to go, this was it. Rarity calmed with satisfaction at the feeling of his hands on her butt. She wanted him, even without the euphoria. He realized she was still in to much shock to say anything.
“Rarity, I–”
Spike collapsed next to her, unable to speak. It was beginning. He pushed Rarity off the bed to save her and then went limp He was dead. Rarity rolled over off mattress, hearing an explosion.
Spike was now asplode.
Fin
Author's Note
Alright, it's been remixed! The story is now better!
