Dick Figures for Hire: The Only Crossover You'll See Here!

"Hey, Sonic. Sonic. Sonic. Sonic. Sonic."

"What?"

"Space blows donkey butt."

"Thanks for pointing that out, Dumbass." Sonic replied to Eggman.

Sonic had it all, money, fame, power, and then he (actually Tails) blew all his money on Dreamcast stock. As a result, he lost all of his money, and ended up going on random odd jobs, getting into trouble with Mario's mafia, killing Mario, taking over Mario's mafia, Tails blowing the mafia and the money, Tails getting rich and becoming an asshole, trying to kill Tails, and ending up in Space where they barely got food, and almost lost stuff while riding space ostriches. All in all, it was becoming normal for Sonic.

And as it turned out, space fucking blows!

"Yeah, thanks for the narration of almost everything I've done so far, dipshit."

Yeah, this is Sonic!

FOR HIRE!

"Sonic, what the hell is that voice in the sky, it sounds like a douchebag got to the microphone." Tails asked.

"The hell if I know."

"Yeah, it came after I said 'Space blows donkey butt' and then I though I could have pork butt for lunch, ohohohoho fuck yeah, let's stop for something to eat!" Eggman said.

"Why is that voice saying something everytime someone new talks?" Earthworm Jim asked. "Seriously, what the hell is that?"

"I dunno, I kinda like it!"

"Hey, dipshits, how about we ignore that voice and get to finding some fucking food!" Sonic yelled out. "And you, shut. The fuck. Up!"

Well, this is fanfiction Sonic.

"Shitballs."

"Oh my God, this is gonna be a fucking mess." Tails said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Let's fly to a random planet!" Eggman yelled out, chuckling to himself.

A random screen next to them turned on.

"Hello, I've got a mission, fly to the nearest planet and eradicate the-"

"Yeah, no thanks, doggy." Sonic said as he turned off the screen.

"Random planet, here we fucking come!"

The group cheered on (except Tails, because he's a wad.)

"Hey!"

And they flew down to nearby planet to perform... stuff!

Sonic got on the mic, and spoke into it.

"Attention random planet, all your booze are belong to us!"

"And your deep-fried tacos!!! Especially your deep-fried tacos!!!"

"Shut up Eggman, you fat fuck!"

"Hey retards, now that you said some shit, how about we land, like right fucking now?"

"Fuck you Tails."

"Yeah, fuck you!"

"You're a dicknut!"

"Fuck you Sonic. Fuck you Eggman. Fuck you Jim. Fuck you all." Tails said as he flipped off everyone.

They landed their huge-as-fuck ship onto a random field, and opened up the ramp doorway, crushing something, splattering some muted yellow onto the ground.

"WASSUP, BITCHES!!!" Sonic yelled out as he introduced himself.

"Holy crap, that ship's awesome, but it could be more awesome." A red stick figure said.

"Oh yeah fuckface, how're you planning on doing that?"

"Oh trust me, I know, dude."

"Wait, is that a porcupine?" A purple horse asked. "And what's that voice? I'm not a horse."

"Woah, just like us!"

"What?"

That's right!"

"AWW, no fucking way, your announcer is fucking awesome!" Sonic complained.

"Your name's Sonic? Dude, that's weird." Red said.

"Not as weird as Red."

"Fuck you, we need to challenge each othaaaaaaaa!!!"

"How?"

Hmm... I do not know.

How about a game of...

EXTREME BOOZE DRINKING MARATHON EXTRAVAGANZA!!!!!!!!!!!

"Extreme booze drinking marathon extravaganza! Now you're speaking my fucking language! To the bar!" Sonic then sped off, while Red floated away, hellbent on winning his game.

"W-W-Wait, Sonic!" Tail yelled out as he flew after Sonic, with Eggman and Earthworm Jim running down the stairs.

"HOH! HOH! Fuck me, I'm tired!" Eggman panted.

"You ran like, 20 feet, downhill." Earthworm Jim said.

"Great, another human." Twilight snarked out.

"And he seems kinda..."

"Fat?" Blue suggested to Rainbow Dash.

"Yeah."

"Hey, I'm big-boned, not fat!"

"No, you're fucking fat, dude."

"Go to Hell!"

"Hey, shouldn't we go after Sonic and Red?" Jim asked pretty much everyone.

"OH FUCK!!!" Blue ran as fucking fast as he can and-

"Okay, I want the deep voice narrating us!"

"Sonic, Red, booze!"

"FUCK!!!" Eggman ran off, with the rest joining the group.

Prologue 1 complete.

Prologue 2 begins next!