The Brick Layer's Lament

by RedmoonLevee

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Original Character
Length: 1054

A letter from Ponyvill, about how good friends can make you laugh at your self.

Celestia receives a letter. laughter ensues.

Published 2014-06-29 15:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-29 15:50:02 UTC

The story

Princess Celestia dropped her paperwork onto the small table and sighed as she settled into her chair. Gripping her coffee cup in her hooves, she gently sipped at the molten liquid, letting out a low moan at the simple pleasure of the act and taste. Still clinging to the cup, she started to rifle through the papers before her.

“Let's see, Report from Captain of the Guard, a threat from Griffin Warlord, Marriage proposal from Griffin Warlord, junk, junk, junk,” she huffed. “Can no one write me anymore?”

That was when a green puff of smoke dropped a scroll on the table before her. She smiled. Leave it to Twilight to brighten up her day with a friendship report.

She unrolled it and began to read.

Dear Princess Celestia,

My name is Brick Layer, and I'm writing under the suggestion of your former student and new Princess, Twilight Sparkle. The reason I'm writing is to tell you what happened to me and what I learned about friendship. Just so you know, I'm a construction worker for the Ponyvill township. We've been working on several buildings that were damaged during the fight last month.

I was working on the fifth floor of one of the building, finishing up one of the walls. I had many bricks left over from the work I was doing that I needed to move back to the ground. The Foreman wanted me to move them by hoof (I don't think he likes me very much) and that would make the work take far too long for my taste. So I made the choice to haul them down in a barrel that I hoisted up and tied off on the ground. (This, by the way, was my first mistake.)

After I filled the barrel with my bricks (I managed to get about sixty inside without a fuss), I trotted down to where I tied the rope off. Now you can keep something heavier than you off the ground, normally by lifting it from underneath and lower something from above it, I was trying to lower something from a greater height to the ground, from the ground (this was my second mistake). Gravity kicked in the moment the rope came undone and ripped me up into the air.

Now to say I was expecting this would be like saying that Luna was coming to my birthday party. I was so shocked at being given flight without wings (or being a pegasus for that matter) that I held onto that rope for dear life (mistake number three). My angle was just enough that I hit the falling barrel, smashing my shoulder and jarring me further. Once I reached the top, my momentum smashed my head into the pulley, giving me a concussion.

Not to say I was done for the day at this point, but I noted that the barrel had dumped out some of the bricks when it landed (about half of them to be precise). Since it was missing half it's weight, I now out weighted it and started down at an alarming rate. I was still recovering from the concussion, so I couldn't swing myself away from the barrel. It smashed into me once again, cutting and bruising me pretty badly and snapping one of my legs (I don't think the barrel liked me that much either).

Now I've been banged up pretty badly before. I had once been too close to a demolition when I was young, stayed in the hospital for about a month after they dug me out. Got my cuity mark for brick laying then too. When they found I was building supports for the hole I was in to keep the roof from caving in. But this was just too much, even for a tough earth pony like me.

After my harsh meeting with the barrel, I fell onto the bricks that had fallen out onto the ground. By now many ponies were gathering to see what was happening, many of them were my friends. I was moaning on this pile of bricks when I heard a loud crack from above me. The barrel has shattered its bottom upon hitting the pulley at the top. The final bricks within the barrel fell down, slamming into me and cracking my ribs.

My friends keep telling me that it is the funniest thing to watch, they even had a unicorn pull the memory and put it into something they could watch over and over again (I've seen it, and yes it is funny until I remember that it's me falling). Now as for the final thing that happened, I thought I had finally reached the end of this trouble. What I didn't know was, I still had the rope gripped firmly, and I was starting to relax, thinking I was safe. The rope slipped from my grip, allowing the barrel to start down once again. It landed right on my head, knocking me out cold for the rest of the day.

All of this happened in the span of thirty seconds to about a minute, but it felt like forever to me. When I woke up the next day, my friends had gathered around my bed, watching the memory over and over, laughing at the whole thing. I watched as I bounced and crashed, groaning at the scene and my antics.

This made my friends laugh harder at me. We talked and looking back I did what any good friend would do, I let them laugh at the whole thing and joined them in some instances. We spent my time in the hospital joking and laughing, putting merit to the phrase Laughter is the best medicine.

So, in conclusion, the lesson I learned is this. Friends will, no matter what, make you laugh at yourself, even when you don't want to.

Your Loyal Subject

Brick Layer

Celestia had to read the letter over and over, just to make some kind of seance of the thing. By this time Luna had walked in and read the thing over her shoulder. Luna was rolling on the floor, laughing until she started to cry.

Celestia soon started to laugh herself.

Author's Note

Had this one going for a bit.

Got the idea from this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fx7aoEBtPXA