Captial Wasteland Unicorn: Return to Equestria (title is subject to change)

by Twi74r8934274

Rating: mature
Tags: Crossover, Dark, Alternate Universe, Human, Comedy, Romance
Length: 517

Jake and Twilight have returned to Equestria, but will they be able to readjust to the peaceful Equestria?

In the eyes of Equestria it’s only been a week since Twilight Sparkle was replaced by a Changeling, but for Twilight it’s been three years and six months. Banished by Queen Chrysalis to a supposedly lifeless world to die, but instead of an isolated hell Twilight was sent to an entirely different hell.

The hell of the Capital Wasteland, a post-apoctolyptic wasteland where survival is the only Law.

There Twilight was saved from a pack of feral ghouls by Jake Davidson; the Lone Wanderer amongst other things. Jake took Twilight under his protection and taught her how to survive in this land where it’s kill or be killed.

Together the two endured the worst the wasteland threw at them. They survived The Pitt, they survived motherfucking aliens, they (well Jake more so) survived the Outcast with a cache of technological marvels all to themselves, they survived Point Lookout, and more.

But the wasteland changes you; for the worst more often then not. So how will Twilight readapt to the peaceful land of Equestria and how will Jake deal in a land where nothing is actively trying to kill him?

This is their story.

————————————————————————————————————————————-

I’ll be writing all their adventures in the Wasteland as a prequel so don’t worry about the lack of flashbacks to the wasteland.

Also if you can’t tell this is going to have humanxpony relations, if you don’t like it then don’t bother reading it.

This will also be my first attempt at a herd, I doubt it’ll measure up to Xenophila and others but I’m going to try regardless!

Also I’m going to get my friend WhoNeedsSanityAnyways to be my editor…if I can’t ever figure out why I can’t post on his user page!!

Anyway I hope everyone (everypony?) enjoys this story! And just to make this clear…I have no idea what I’m doing! Yep I’m going this off the top of my head! Gods above and below I hope this doesn’t suck as bad as I think it will!

Also the sex and gore tags are there because I'm a paranoid bastard and if I have clop it won't be written by me cause I have no talent regarding clop.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-30 04:19:54 UTC

Prologue

Dear Princess Celestia,

It's been over a week since myself and my coltfriend Jake returned to Equestria from the Wasteland and helped fight off the Changeling invasion. As I've told you and the other girls what was a week for you, was roughly three and a half years give or take a few months. I would like to believe Jake and I have adjusted, or readjusted in my case, rather well to Equestria.

However that would be a lie.

I'm not sure if either I or Jake made this clear or not... but the Wasteland changes you, and not for the better usually. Thankfully I believe I have changed for the better as I've became far more physically active and healthy. However Jake had issues even before he left the Vault, but I'm sure we've already covered that. Besides it I did go over them again this letter would be a few pages long at least!

While I've resettled into my job as a librarian Jake sought out work; with mixed results, some more amusing then others admittedly.

The spa sisters, Aloe and Lotus, found his hands to be divine gifts from the Maker. However were ultimately unable to employ him when as a result of messaging Aloe she went into a faux-estrus cycle. They wanted to hire him so bad too, however they feared the rumors his "magic touch" would cause and regretfully told him they couldn't hire him. Though they did offer him a half-off discount whenever he visits.

Though personally I'm relieved, I don't want my coltfriend touching anypony like that but me and any future herd-mates!

Hmm... now that I think about it I never did explain how relationships work here... I'll have to put it on my check list.

Oh Jake met our local dentist Colgate earlier today! It was a rather amusing meeting I do admit. Honestly I don't know why the notion of Colgate having a teeth fetish isn't surprising...

Maybe because how she would lovingly check Spike's teeth whenever I take him for a check up perhaps?

Anyway Jake eventually found a job at Sweet Apple Acres as a labourer and repairman. Though he had to repeatedly remind AJ that he was only looking for work and wasn't trying to prove AJ couldn't handle the work load!

By the way... has Blueblood ever recovered from his "tramatic" first meeting with Jake? Not that I care but as a fellow unicorn I know how sensitive a horn can be. Even I felt sorry for Blueblood when Jake nearly snapped his horn off, but then again Blueblood did start it so... it's his own fault really.

Well I think this is enough for now so I think I'll finish this letter off and have Spike send it.

Your Faithful Student,

Twilight Sparkle

P.S. Is it just me or did Luna seem a little... hot and bothered when during breakfast before we left the castle? ...I certainly hope she didn't peak into our room or dreams... she did didn't she? Well then... I hope she enjoyed the show then! HAHAHA!!