Combustible Apples, in which Applejack destroys Cloudhouses

by HapHazred

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Sex, Random, Slice of Life, Main 6, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy
Length: 3453

Rainbow Dash survives the explosion of her house, and is furious at the accidental perpetrator of the deed: Applejack. The remainder of the mane six attempt to put things together.

Rainbow Dash is retrieved from the ruins of her cloud house after Applejack accidentally and mysteriously destroys it. How she survived, as well as how the house was destroyed, remains unclear. Sorting through the facts and attempting to mend the friendship between Rainbow and Applejack, Twilight and her other friends learn that there's possibly more to the argument than the simple matter of property destruction.

A semi-comedic Appledash, rated teen for sex themes and very little else.

Published 2014-06-30 18:00:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-30 18:00:03 UTC

Combustible Apples

Smoke. Smoke, and ash drifting on the soft breeze. A small, soft feeling brushes over her side as she finds herself unable to focus her vision. Her hearing cannot quite make out sounds beside the incessant ringing, reminding her of those many crashes she unwillingly partook in after a dozen too many ciders...

She feels her head move. Her brain is like cotton, or jelly. It bounces around in her skull, not quite painfully, but very uncomfortably.She tries to figure out if she can see: her conclusion is unclear. She can quite definitely make out colour: namely purple. An awful lot of purple, with some blue around the edges.

The ringing is dying out a little, but no sound is discernible, like she's stuck her head underwater. She'd consider the possibility that she might be drowning, but she is pretty sure she can breathe. She panics momentarily.

Nope, she can definitely breathe. She relaxes a little.

"...bow...ash..."

She isn't really awake enough to be confused. If she was, she'd wonder why the purple blob was discussing archery. And wood. She tries listening again.

"...kay? Rainbow..."

Wait, was that her name? She tries paying a little more attention. For good measure. She's sure she will get it this time.

"...Hey? Are you okay? Rainbow? Can you hear me?"

Ah ha! Yes, that was a question. Directed at her. Wait, had she overslept? Had she drank? That would explain the jelly brain. Come to think of it, weren't brains made of some kind of jelly anyway? She isn't sure. She considers asking Twilight later.

Suddenly she recognizes purple blob. It's Twilight! Of course, she'd recognize that voice anywhere, so long as it wasn't underwater.

"...whey?" she tries asking. She sighs internally. That didn't come out right. She'll try again later.

"She's alive! Quick, get her to the hospital! Oh, this is awful!"

Horsefeathers. She had drunk a lot, apparently.

"F...Five more minutes..." she grumbles, feeling herself drift asleep again. This place was comfy. Twilight looms over her like a wide eyed umbrella.

"Are you in pain? Can you talk?"

"Mmf. My head feels weird..." she replies. Twilight seems to panic more.

"Oh, no, she's hurt her head! Quick, administer some painkillers!"

She feels a slight jab in her right hoof. Suddenly her entire world changes.

Wow. Something happened. Something really awesome just happened.

She blacks out.

***

Twilight left the unconscious pegasus in the hospital room, the door slowly sliding behind her. She turns to see the assembled ponies before her, each of them displaying various expressions of worry and concern. Except for Applejack, who was displaying some form of emotion that would require a special dissertation to the princess to cover.

"She'll be fine. She just hit her head on the way down is all." she told them. Fluttershy let out a sigh of relief, the first of many from the entire group.

"Oh, thank goodness. I saw the explosion from across town, it looked horrible." she said in her usual, quiet tone, quickly upstaged by Rarity's elegant yet somehow boisterous declaration.

"You're sure she's fine? She's not even going to lose the use of her wings or something?" she asks. Twilight would normally find such a question a bit out of turn, had she not witnessed the conflagration herself. The roiling torrent of flame had almost spilled out into the rest of Ponyville, and it was a wonder Rainbow hadn't exited the chaos without losing large amounts of fur. In fact, it was amazing she was even alive.

"Ah feel so stupid..." Applejack mutters, but she is ignored as Pinkie, ever at the centre of attention, at least when Rainbow wasn't around or Twilight wasn't wearing some form of regal accessory, joined in the clamour.

"This calls for a get well soon party! I'll need loads of help! We all need to stick together to give Dashie as much good juju as we can!"

Twilight nods, but she doesn't appear to be completely convinced.

"That sounds like a great idea... but we're forgetting that Rainbow might not be in the best of moods when she wakes up..." she says. Applejack holds her head in her hooves.

"The house..."

Twilight says nothing. She was the first on the scene, and very little had remained of the elegant and beautiful example of low atmosphere architecture. Only small items that had once belonged to Rainbow were scattered across the countryside, some catapulted as far as the Everfree forest, Twilight reckoned.

"What on earth had happened?" Rarity eventually asks, confused. The rest of the ponies become silent, as the same question is on everypony's minds. Applejack remains particularly quiet.

"It was mah fault." she says quietly, her air of stoic confidence dissipated into thin air. All eyes are now on her.

"What was that?" asked Twilight, her brow furrowed in absolute puzzlement, unsure if she had understood correctly. "You blew up Rainbow Dash's house?"

"You're sure she didn't just... leave a fork in the microwave or something?" Rarity asked. Applejack shook her head.

"Nope. Ah..." she begins, quickly interrupted by nurse Redheart exiting the room Rainbow lay within. She took off a paper mask and smiled in a kind, yet businesslike manner.

"She's awake. It'll do her good to have some friends to talk to." she said. Applejack's eyes widen. She looks at the rest of her companions, lips and hooves trembling.

"Ah... Ah have to go." she suddenly declares, fleeing her position, tail between her legs and head held low. Twilight looks with her mouth wide open. She isn't sure how to respond to this turn of events.

"...I suppose we'd better say hi to Rainbow." Fluttershy proposes. Eager to get to a less confusing topic, the four ponies enter the room.

***

Rainbow yawns. She can hear and think properly again, now, and grins as she sees her friends enter the room, minus one. The absence stings a little, but she ignores it for now.

"Hey guys. Okay, give it to me straight: was it a crash? Was it cider? A robbery, an elements of harmony thing, what?"

Pinkie Pie snickered.

"Don't be silly. We're right in the middle of the season!"

Twilight approached the side of the bed, and put her hoof on Rainbow Dash's shoulder, who licked her lips, suddenly a bit worried.

"Rainbow Dash... we have absolutely no idea what happened." she confessed.

Rainbow is silent for a second.

"Did I get hit by a carriage?" she asks.

"Darling, you're house... exploded." explained Rarity. Rainbow raised an eyebrow.

"Um. Come again?" she asks, disbelieving. "I think I would remember that."

"I think you'd remember an elements of harmony thing, too." Twilight pointed out. Rainbow Dash conceded this point.

"I guess. Wait... wait, what happened to my house? Is it okay?"

Twilight briefly considered that if a crater could have possibly been left in the sky, there would be one.

"...there might be some stuff that survived?" she attempts. Rainbow's face falls. She looks around the room.

"Hey, where's AJ?" she asks. Twilight feels her vocal chords freeze up. After stalling a few times, she eventually manages to regain her ability to convey sound.

"She's under the impression she blew it up."

Rainbow Dash doesn't immediately react. Twilight smiles nervously: the rest of the girls follow suit. Eventually Rainbow frowns.

"So she's not here because she's embarrassed, huh?" is her response.

"More like scared." Fluttershy replied. Rainbow snorted.

"Yeah, I bet. What kind of a reason is that for not visiting a friend in the hospital?"

Silence fills the room. Everypony feels awkward. Rainbow also has the added feeling of anger and hurt. Nopony knows whether they should be supporting Rainbow's anger and hurt, or Applejack for being afraid at admitting to have hurt Rainbow.

"I want to be alone for a bit, guys." Rainbow says. The rest of the room respectfully nods.

"We'll let you get some rest." Twilight says as she leaves, the last in line. Rainbow Dash makes no sound, lost in thought. That is the first sign Twilight gets that she is really, really furious.

***

The Bean Bag is a very pleasant coffee shop, most often frequented by Rarity, but also by most ponies when the mood struck them for a small pick me up, both before, after, and sometimes during work. It was here that the group elected to discuss their newest and largest friendship conundrum.

"Okay... first things first. I propose we try to resolve matters logically, which means we have to start with the obvious question." Twilight began. Hearing no argument, she continued. "How the hay did Applejack blow up Rainbow Dash's house?"

The table was silent. Eventually a waiter pony came with four cups, and a slice of cake for Pinkie. Rarity took a gentle sip from her mocha before proposing her first idea.

"Maybe... it was some applebucking gone wrong." she said. Twilight frowned, attempting to sort through, in her mind, how such a thing could have happened, and failed miserably.

"How is that even remotely scientifically possible?" she asked. Rarity shrugged.

"I am the sort of mare who is quite content enjoying apples, but have no formal education on the inner workings of the subject." she declared haughtily. Twilight snorted.

"Well, I think we're missing the obvious solution here." she began.

***

"Cutie mark crusaders demolition mares! Yay!"

***

Rarity gasped, affronted.

"Sweetie Belle would never!" she exclaimed. Twilight narrowed her eyes and glanced off to the side.

"I wouldn't put it past them..." she muttered. Fluttershy coughed.

"Um, well, if it was them, I don't think it would have impacted Applejack so strongly. She'd probably have been more angry at Applebloom than ashamed..." Fluttershy countered. She swallowed nervously. "Um, maybe."

Twilight sighed in defeat.

"No, it's a good point Fluttershy. I hadn't thought of that."

Fluttershy beamed, but before she could present her own idea, Pinkie leapt onto the table.

"I know how it happened!" she declared.

It took about five minutes for Pinkie to finish her explanation, which, in all fairness, was quite good indeed. It had plot, developed characters, and good wording, but fell short on one very important aspect: it's believability.

"...I don't think so, Pinkie." Twilight responded.

Pinkie frowned.

"Well, last time I didn't accuse Applejack and accused all those bakers without proof instead, you didn't listen! Now, I am accusing Applejack without proof, and once again, little miss Twilight isn't happy!"

"I'm not sure Applejack would be so regretful if she blew up Rainbow's house with combustible apples." Twilight replied. Rarity made a noise that bespoke volumes of her contempt for that particular notion.

"Indeed, because none of us have ever done anything we haven't instantly regretted." she said, sarcastically.

Once again, it was Fluttershy who spoke up.

"Um, I think we're forgetting that apples don't explode."

The table was once again plunged into momentary reflection.

"Yes, indeed. Good point." Twilight eventually said. Fluttershy opened her mouth to continue, but Rarity beat her to the punch.

"What about:"

***

Applejack was smiling broadly as she trotted down the street underneath Rainbow's house, whistling as she went, before, out of the corner of her eyes, she spotted the most magnificent sight: upon an apple tree, were an entire harvest's worth of apples. She was so amazed that she tripped over a stone.

"Oh no! Ah have tripped and fallen!" she exclaimed.

***

"And then she destroyed the house." Rarity finished triumphantly.

"You don't have a very high opinion of Applejack, do you?" Twilight commented. Rarity sighed.

"She's a wonderful mare, but it does me good to get these feelings out from time to time. Fine, I admit it, I have no idea how she managed such a feat."

"Maybe it has something to do with the catapult Rainbow tried using to fly faster that one time..." began Fluttershy, but she quickly realized that all eyes were turned away from her, fixed upon the orange farmpony who was trotting towards them. Fluttershy glared.

"Nevermind..." she muttered darkly.

"Hey! Hey, Applejack! Come talk to us!" Twilight shouted. Applejack pulled up a seat and squeezed in between Rarity and Pinkie, who was looking at her suspiciously, still not entirely convinced she didn't have an arsenal of explosive fruit. It took a grand total of three seconds before her head hit the table and Aplejack's groan of despair could be heard through the entire street.

"What am Ah going to do! Ah can't face her!" she wailed. Rarity patted her on the back reassuringly, quick to attempt to reassure her miserable friend.

"There, there... of course you can, it's just a matter of honesty..." Rarity explained gently, hoping the mention of her element would get her talking. Applejack made no sign of having heard.

"Ah destroyed everything she has... had, Ah guess... Ah'll never get forgiveness. Ah might as well never talk to her again..."

Twilight smiled gently. It was her turn to reassure Applejack.

"Remember when you made a horde of bunnies stampede through Ponyville, and it trampled all the crops and gardens?" she asked. Applejack only groaned louded. Rarity glared at Twilight.

"Not helping." she spat.

"I'm getting to it!" she replied snappily. "Well, you bounced right back from that and were all over Ponyville again! Despite ruining plenty of ponies livelihoods..."

Applejack snorted back what could only have been some quite horrendous nasal fuilds.

"This is different! This is Rainbow Dash. She ain't like those pushovers..."

"I say!" exclaimed one of the clientèle. Twilight glared at her. The pony slunk back into her chair. "Sorry..."

"She'll hate me forever!"

"Listen, Applejack..." began Fluttershy, "I know it's hard, but you'll never get forgiveness unless you ask for it."

Applejack looked up at Fluttershy briefly. For a minute she thought she had gotten through to Applejack, but she frowned when she realized that Applejack looked more tormented than she probably had a right to be.

"Ah just can't." she finally declared.

***

Rainbow Dash stared at the ruins of her life, strewn across the field under her house. She walked forwards, slowly, followed closely by Twilight, assigned to keep an eye on her.

"You okay?" Twilight asked. Rainbow shrugged.

"I guess. This was my whole adult life, Twi... also some of my teen life too." she said. "I had a lot of stuff here..."

Rainbow Dash felt something soft under her hoof. She looked down at the plushie of the former wonderbolt captain. She picked it up. Half of it had been burnt off. She sighed.

"Collector's edition. Maybe I can find somepony to fix it up for me." she said. Twilight roamed around the wreckage, trying to find anything salvageable. There was very little to choose from. She decided to attempt fixing Rainbow's friendship with Applejack: perhaps she would prove more tractable than the farmpony.

"Are you still mad at Applejack?" Twilight asked eventually. Rainbow Dash growled.

"Yeah. I am." she replied. Twilight sighed, before stumbling over the remains of a Daring Do book. She sighed. That was one of hers.

"She feels terrible. It was just an accident, Rainbow." Twilight said. Rainbow shrugged.

"I don't care. I'm not going to stop being mad until she comes here and apologizes."

Twilight guessed that was reasonable... but also cruel. In the meantime, Applejack was being torn apart.

Twilight spotted something: a large, pale bedside cabinet that looked relatively unharmed. Exited, she cantered over to it.

"Hey, Rainbow! Look what I've found!" she exclaimed. Rainbow turned to see what it was, and her eyes widened.

"Uh oh..."

Twilight approached the bedside cabinet and opened it. It was filled with magazines.

"Hey, look! You still have some of your reading material!" she said, pulling one out. Rainbow Dash swallowed nervously.

"Just put that back! Thank you, just put that back, right now, please..."

Twilight looked at the cover. Her eyes widened as she realized what kind of magazine they were.

"Oh. Um, yes, okay."

The magazine was returned to it's rather incredibly large pile in the battered bedside cabinet. Rainbow Dash quickly arrived to shut the door. She smiled, her grin awkward and false.

"Heh. I'll be taking those, thanks." she said, picking up the cabinet and carrying it off for storage.

***

The earth underneath her hooves was somewhat churned up, which didn't make Applejack feel any happier. There used to be a time that whenever she wanted to be alone to think, she could go and sit under her favourite tree. Unfortunately, since she wasn't keen on taking a trip to Appleoosa, she would have to make do with a rather bare patch of hill.

She saw the little yellow pegasus fly towards her, but barely made a move to let her know she had. She just wanted to be left alone. She had really messed up this time.

"Applejack?" asked Fluttershy. There was no response. Their conversations seemed to be filled with silences these days.

"Applejack, what's going on? There's something else between you and Rainbow Dash, isn't there?"

Applejack slowly nodded. "Eeyup. But she won't want anything to do with me after what happened..."

"Won't she? Applejack, Rainbow Dash would never give up on her friends unless she absolutely felt she had no other choice." Fluttershy replied.

"Ah don't know... by rights, she shouldn't even be alive."

"That... is a rather confusing point."

Applejack kicked the ground dejectedly. Fluttershy decided to test her theory.

"Um... were you, like... dating? Is that why this is so hard?"

"...yeah, we were." Applejack replied. Fluttershy sighed

"Oh, Applejack, then why aren't you talking to her right now? I'm sure she'll find it in her heart to forgive you if you only try. Please trust me."

Applejack gulped, then nodded.

***

The street was empty, save for Rainbow, who was slowly trudging down it, pondering which of her friends she'd ask to stay with in the meantime.

"Rainbow!" came the familiar voice. Rainbow Dash turned sharply, glaring at Applejack as she cantered towards her.

"AJ. You finally turned up."

Applejack slowed down as she approached Rainbow Dash. She looked down at her hooves.

"Rainbow, Ah am so sorry Ah blew up your house... Ah didn't meant to, it was an accident."

Rainbow didn't answer. She was still glaring at Applejack.

"Ah was just afraid you'd want to leave me if Ah... Ah was just afraid, Rainbow. Ah'm sorry."

"Darn straight you are!" Rainbow shot back. "I didn't put two and two together when I was high on painkillers, but I would have thought that, of all ponies, my marefriend would have been there for me after my life gets turned on it's head."

Applejack continues to stare at her hooves.

"Not to mention you almost killed me and didn't even visit me in the hospital, which was pretty low. I mean, what kind of friend does that, let alone somepony like you. Did you know I had to go through the ruins of my house with Twilight? It should have been you."

"Ah wasn't thinking straight..." Applejack began, but was interrupted by Rainbow Dash.

"You left me hanging. You blew up my house and didn't even try to help me through it when I needed you, AJ."

"Ah'm sorry!" Applejack repeated, loudly. Getting yelled at by Rainbow Dash was probably one of the last things she had wanted to happen this week. Rainbow Dash took a deep breath.

"...I know you're sorry. And hey, I guess you're forgiven." she said. Applejack looked up at her hopefully.

"Really? That's it?"

Rainbow Dash shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess. But I don't want you running off because you're scared of me again, 'kay?" she said, giving Applejack a very warm and forgiving hug. "I'll always need you way more than you think I hate you."

Applejack returned the hug gratefully. She chuckled after they remained there for a few brief moments.

"Y'all just saying that cause you got no place to stay." she joked. Rainbow Dash pulled back, eyeing her. Applejack grinned.

"Heck yeah! Can I have a room with a window?"

"Ah wasn't going to put you in a cell, Rainbow." Applejack replied. Rainbow Dash shrugged.

"Just making sure. You might be into that sort of thing." she retorted. "But seriously, though, I get your room, right?"

"Course you do. It comes fully furnished with bed, closet, desk, and me."

"Sweet. I really wanted a desk."

"Oh? Ah'd have thought you'd want the bed a little more." Applejack said, putting her hoof around Rainbow's side. Rainbow herself simply chuckled.

"Hey, desks can be cool too. Shall we head?"

Applejack nodded, and the pair slowly made their way towards Sweet Apple Acres, both very much satisfied with the way things had turned out.