When She Dies

“Look at the brightside, Twilight! Princess Celestia arranged you to stay at the library in town so you at least can look forwards to reading tonight!” Came a familiar voice.

Twilight opened her eyes and looked around to find herself riding the carriage pulled by two pegasi of the Canterlot Royal Guard. Besides her stood Spike, parishment in hand and with a familiar smile on his face. Twilight thought to herself for a moment remembering as much as she could before realizing that this must be the work of Insanity. She turned to Spike with a smile.

“Hey Spike, can you do me a favor?”

“Sure, what do you need?”

The chariot landed and Twilight thanked the two guards before turning towards Spike again. “I have to do something really quick, can you start the inspection without me? I’m sure you can handle it.”

“Wait, Twilight!” Spike called out to her as she didn’t even bother waiting for a reply. But instead of heading straight to the Golden Oaks Library, she decided she would get to the castle as quickly as possible. Maybe if she could get there early, she could find the Elements of Harmony before Nightmare Moon does, she could discover how to use them and defeat Nightmare Moon.

Twilight’s gallop slowed to a trot and then to a slow walk as she approached the Everfree Forest’s edge. She took a deep breath and pushed herself forwards, hoping that she would not encounter the terrifying creatures that chased her last time. Her eyes darted from shadow to shadow as she started to go deeper into the forest, thankful that the sun’s light was strong enough to pierce through the leaves and light up the pathway. She only hoped that this pathway would take her straight to the castle itself.

About a quarter mile into the forest, Twilight came across a fork in the road with no indication on where to go. She looked into the distance of each pathway, unable to see if either leads to the castle but both turns in opposite directions. Twilight sat on her haunches, hoof to chin, as she thought about the last time she went into the forest. Could she determine the direction of the castle even though it was so dark out that she couldn’t tell which way she was facing?

She decided to take the left path, as she felt she ducked to the left more when being chased by the Timberwolves, trotting down the path as fast as she was willing to go. The trees started to blend into a brownish blur as she went down the path, merely scanning for trouble before turning the corner where she broke into a full gallop. It wasn’t long before Twilight encountered an obstacle.

She happened across a rather large and fast flowing river with a single bridge spanning it’s width but the top of it was blocked by what looked like a giant rock. Twilight groaned as she approached the rock, wondering how she was going to move it. Her horn lit up as she attempted to move it but jumped back when the rock started to move on it’s own. It stood up on it’s hind legs and turned around to face Twilight with a gravelly voice, “Who trying to cross MY bridge?”

The creature was hunched forwards but still stood nearly seven feet tall. It’s skin was rough and cracked with bumps all over, some of them oozing out pus. Scars ran deep in its skin showing that it has fought hard to keep its bridge. It’s beady black eyes stared down at Twilight as it swung the makeshift club against it’s hand in a threatening manner.

Twilight took a step back, intimidated by the creature at first but decided that if it could talk, maybe she could reason with it. “Er, Good day Mr. Troll. I, um, I would like to cross your bridge if that is alright with you.”

“No,” said the Troll. His breath was so vile, Twilight could feel herself almost throw up as soon as she got a whiff. “You no cross my bridge. You go away.” The troll froze as they both heard its stomach growl. “Hungry… Okay, you cross when you give food.” With that, the troll curled up into his sleeping position without another word.

“Give food? But… What do trolls eat?” Wondered Twilight to herself as she turned around, heading back to the pathway. She looked around and noticed a tree with a curious type of fruit.

She levitated it down with her telekinesis and inspected it closer. It’s skin was thin and waxy, kind of like a lemon’s skin and had five prominent ridges that ran from the top to the bottom.She pulled it in half and looked at the inside and noticed that the fruit made a star shape.

Taking a lick of the fruit, she pulled back a little bit but thought that the combination of sweet and sour was rather delicious. She ate the rest of the star fruit herself before pulling off several off the tree and headed back to the bridge.

“Hello? I brought you some food Mr. Troll.”

The creature stood up and once again, turned towards Twilight. It’s eyes focusing on the fruit that she had brought before looking back towards her. He takes the fruit as she levitates them towards him and throws them all into his mouth in one go. As he chewed, Twilight thought it was safe to cross but suddenly she felt a large hand wrap around her.

“Wa-wait! What are you doing?! I thought we had an agreement.” Shouted Twilight as she frantically tried to break free of the creature’s grasp.

“Still hungry. You no pass,” said the Troll as he started to squeeze a little tighter. “You make good meal too.” Twilight screamed as the troll lifted his club with his free hand and swung down hard…

______________________________________________________________________________

Twilight jolted up in a familiar room. The couch, red and bouncy, cushioned her exasperated sigh as she let herself lay back down. She stared at the light above her wondering if this was real still before a familiar face came into view and hovered over her.

“Welcome back my dear, Twilight. Nasty creatures those trolls are. Not satisfied with anything and will never let anything across their bridge without a wallop.” Said Insanity with a smiling sigh. He shrugged his shoulders, palms open to the ceiling before backing out of Twilight’s sight.

“Insanity? So this is real…” Said Twilight as she sat up, only to have her ears droop upon the realization.

“Oh why so glum, chum? Disappointed I wasn’t your dear Princess Celestia? Come now, I thought you would be glad to have another crack at those Elements of Harmony!” Said Insanity as he sat down in his office chair and kicked up his feet onto his desk. He reached towards the ground and then proceeded to lift up two tea cup, a tea pot, a plate piled high with triangle sandwiches, a stand holding a plate of scones with a glass dome lid over it, a few napkins, and a greyish pony holding a cello and bow.

“What the- what happened? Where am I?” Asked the pony looking around frantically.

“Miss Octavia, it seems you have died with some doubts in your past life. I think it had something to do with an object that wubs,” said Insanity as he set the pony down. As she looked at him, he turned towards Twilight and motioned for her to sit down. “So I’ll make you a deal. Play some music for me and my friend here while we have a friendly little chat, and I’ll send you back to before you and Vinyl had that ‘heated’ argument.”

Octavia was going to say start asking questions but then sighed. “I suppose… I didn’t think that the bass cannon was something she actually made but… I guess I’m wrong.”

“Yes, yes. You’ll have your chance to apologize, so please play for us, if you would.” Said Insanity as he started to pour tea into the cups.

Octavia gave another sigh before putting the bow to the cello, producing the most entrancing music ever as Twilight reluctantly walked over and sat down opposite of Insanity. Twilight kept glancing over towards Octavia, wondering if she knew of Insanity as well.

“So… Why do you keep doing this?” Asked Twilight, her horn glowing as she levitated her tea cup to her lips.

“Doing what?”

“This. Making us relive our lives until we live the best life possible?”

Insanity looked at Twilight with a solemn look as he set down the tea cup on the saucer. He rested his hands upon the knee of a leg he crossed before taking in a slow deep breath.

“This may be hard for you to believe, but my kind are not all inherently evil. In fact, we don’t understand this moral system of good and evil you mortals have developed. No, we take interest in a particular aspect of each one of your lives and observe. My interests lies in the tenacity of those who cling to life, trying to make the best out of it as they can.”

“So this game is a way for you to help us?”

“Oh no, no, no. Far from it. Your struggles are just so interesting and entertaining because if you are given the same situation to deal with, you all take another route than you normally do with the hopes of the same results you imagined in the first place. Much to the opposite of my name, if I may add.”

“What do you mean?”

“Tell me Twilight, do you know the definition of Insanity?”

“Of course, it’s the process of doing the same steps over and over again but expecting different results… Oh, I see what you mean. So you are interested in our sanity then?”

“My dear Twilight, there is no such thing as sanity or insanity. Think about it: No matter the situation, you try something new every time expecting the results you want to happen. Do this enough times and the process itself is insanity. They just end up cancelling each other out by definition.”

Twilight didn’t have a response for that. Hypothetical debates are hardly ever won or even worth the effort to pursue. She started eating a sandwich as Insanity went back to enjoying his tea, wondering what he was going to do next. Nearly five minutes of silence passed before Twilight set down her tea cup with a loud clang before slamming her hooves on the table. Octavia stopped playing, startled by the sudden upstart from Twilight.

“I can’t take it! What do you want from me?!”

“What, can’t I have a simple cup of tea with a friend?”

“We are not friends, Insanity.”

“Just because you don’t see me as a friend doesn’t mean I can’t see you as one. Besides, come here enough times and you will learn to enjoy my company. But if you want to go back so badly without enjoying yourself for a while longer, I’ll be happy to oblige.”

Before Twilight could say anything, Insanity lifted a hand while taking a sip of tea and snapped his fingers enveloping Twilight in darkness.

______________________________________________________________________________

Twilight opened her eyes to see a familiar sight. She was back at the bridge, the troll was slowly laying back down on the bridge. She looked around and saw the star fruit tree that she picked fruit from the last time. She looked towards the ground with a sigh.

”He sent me back to this point? I guess this would be where I’d ask him to put me if he could instead of the beginning..” She thought to herself with a weary smile.

Twilight looked back to the troll and thought about it, the creature was not satisfied with the star fruits that she brought it and insisted on eating her. At least it had the decency of knocking her out before it did that. ”So the creature is an omnivore? That means it eats fruits, vegetables and meats, right? Oh, why did I have to encounter such a creature..”

Twilight walked back a bit deeper into the forest before slipping between the trees to look for something for the troll to eat. It was not long before she happened across a gathering of rabbits that immediately scattered in every direction. Twilight gave chase to every single rabbit that was closest to her but eventually gave up in frustration.

“Get back here you furry balls of cotton,” shouted Twilight as he horn started to glow, lifting several of the rabbits into the air. Levitating them close to her, she look at each and every one of them with sorrowful eyes as they gazed back at her with looks of despair and fear. “I’m sorry but I need to get to the Castle of the Two Sisters. Please forgive me…”

With that, Twilight returned to the bridge with more fruit from the tree she found earlier and presented them to the troll. It grabbed the rabbits, still alive and trying to squirm free, and gruesomely bit off their heads in one fell bite. Twilight cringed at the sight of the blood splashing all over the trolls hand and even a few drops falling upon her.

The troll finished eating and looked back to Twilight, licking the remaining blood off it’s fingers. He reached over and picked up Twilight in one of it’s grimy hands. “W-wait! I thought you had enough to eat! What are you-”

Then the troll placed her down on the opposite side of the bridge. “Pony feed me. Grull did as pony ask and let pony pass. Grull goes to sleep now.”

Twilight watched as the troll laid down back on the bridge and went to sleep. It was a curious sight, a creature so brutal could also have enough sense of honor to keep its word. Twilight shook her head to clear her thoughts as she refocused herself to the task at hand. Continuing forwards, Twilight continued down the path hoping to get to the castle before it grew dark.

As she continued down the path, she found herself staring into a cavern where the path seemed to continue on through. Twilight wondered if this was pony-made and was also a way to the castle but when she looked towards the sky through an opening in the trees, she could tell that she would have to ponder on that another time; the sun was quickly going down.

She ventured into the cave, keeping to the pathway as best as she could in the darkness but it wasn’t long before she heard a familiar sound: a low raspy growl. Her immediate thought was that she had wandered into a den of Timberwolves as she brightened up her surroundings with her horn… But instead she found herself face to face with an Ursa Major with her cub, just waking up because of the light.

Oh no, thought Twilight as she started to back away from the two. The Ursa’s rubbed the sleepiness out of their eyes before they got a good look at whoever just rudely woke them up. Their first reaction was curiousity, what was this creature in front of them? Is it a threat? Is it food? Why does she glow a bright light in such a dark cave?

Finally, the minor started to get tired of the light and swiped its paw at Twilight. Twilight lowered her horn and a beam of magic came out in defense, knocking back the cub’s paw and causing the Ursa Minor to give a cry of surprise. The Ursa Major was not too fond of Twilight doing that.

The Major gave out a roar with Twilight in near point blank range, throwing Twilight against the wall with the force of it’s voice. The unicorn didn’t know what to do at this point, her eyes darting from left to right and back to the left trying in vain to find a fast way out. Her attention turned back to the Ursa Major as it lifted a giant paw and swung it at her… The last thing Twilight felt was her head ripping off her shoulders from the sheer force.

______________________________________________________________________________

Twilight awoke in the office yet again, groaning upon recognition. She slowly deadpanned to her left as if expecting Insanity to be sitting next to her doing something utterly ridiculous as he normally did.

“I’d say welcome back but then I’d just be repeating myself for the twentieth time.” Said Insanity from Twilight’s right, causing her to jump. Twilight turned towards Insanity to find him in a chef’s top hat and wearing an apron that had the words ‘Kiss the cook” designed on it. Oddly enough, it was encrusted with a rather large amount of gemstones that Twilight thought looked familiar but couldn’t quite put her hoof on it.

“You know, if you could just lend me a hoof, things would be easier and you wouldn’t be so annoyed all the time. You do know what I need to do to defeat Nightmare Moon, right?” Asked Twilight moreover annoyed with Insanity refusing to help her. That was the thirteenth time she had died to the Ursas. She already tried stealth, rushing through, appeasing, outright fighting, pretty much everything one could think of doing but the results were the same. She couldn’t just get by the mother and her cub.

“Twilight, my dear. You know I hate spoiling an ending for anypony, right? Besides, you know as well as I do that your story is still an ongoing one and thus… There is no ending to be told.” Insanity flipped a patty on a grill, smiling to himself as he continued to cook.

“If there is no ending, why do you always act as if you know what I should be doing in the first place?” Cried out Twilight in frustration. She threw up her hooves to bring them down on the sofa that she sat upon only to find herself hitting nothing. She looked around to now find herself at a dinner table on a seat being pushed in by Insanity. In front of her was a freshly grilled hay burger, one of the few delights she experienced in Canterlot.

Twilight eyed the burger and Insanity as the man walked around the table and sat down with his food, a wonderfully grilled steak with a side salad. Twilight shuddered at the thought of a sentient creature being eaten but forced herself to remember that Insanity was not really part of her world.

Insanity picked up a bottle that read ‘A1 Steak Sauce’ before looking back towards Twilight with a sigh. “It’s true, I already have spoiled myself to your ending by being involved with another pony in your world. Her fate was rather tied to yours in the end but that was only her story. Truth be told Twilight, though I am interested in seeing you live the happiest life you can have, I’m more interested in the failed attempts you take to get there.

“As such, I just refuse to give you the answer straight out of the gate. To see what lengths you will go to in order to defeat Nightmare Moon and return Eqeustria to the peaceful lands it once was.” Finished Insanity after drowning his meal in the steak sauce. Twilight grumbled under her breath for a moment, levitating the burger to her mouth before taking a bite.

Much to her surprise, it tasted like the very first hay burger she ever had when she was a filly, before her taste buds had even considered the burger something edible. She quickly scarfed the burger down, reminiscing in her childhood with her brother and foalsitter, Cadence. Then she was rudely awoken by Insanity as he handed her a napkin, explaining she had grease and ketchup all over her face.

Twilight grew a bit embarrassed that Insanity saw that part of her, accepting the napkin with her magic. Insanity however, paid no attention to it. He immediately went back to his meal finishing up the last few bites before wiping his own mouth. “So have to figured out how to get by the Ursas? Or are you going to try a different path?”

Twilight looked towards Insanity in surprise. This was the first time he asked her if she would like to try something different further back in her timeline. “What do you mean?” Asked Twilight wondering if her guess was what Insanity offered.

Insanity took a few drinks from his cup before setting it down with a satisfied sigh. “I mean that I don’t have to send you moments before your last death. If you want, I can send you further back in your life to another milestone so you can try something different.”

Insanity leaned back in his chair as he looked towards Twilight with a sly smile. It wasn’t like his usual toothy grin which made Twilight believe that he had an ulterior motive for his actions.

“You’re getting a laugh out of how I die aren’t you?”

“Of course I am! What makes you think otherwise? It’s so interesting to see how many times you are going to repeat yourself until you finally decide that what you are doing will get you nowhere. Once that happens, I’ll let you start off at any point in time you have already lived. So in the end, I’m still helping you.”

Twilight sat back and contemplated the new opportunities that Insanity had just presented her. She realized now that she could easily change any decision she made before and change her own future, not having to keep tackling the same obstacle again and again. Twilight looked towards Insanity with hopeful eyes and with a small smile asked, “Can you send me back to the fork in the road?”

“Your will be done my dear.” Said Insanity with a toothy smile and snapped his fingers.