"Bobobo-Bo Bo-Bobo, the Bo-tector of hair. Bobobo has sworn to protect the hair of the people from the hair hunters."
"Really, hair hunters? Might as well call them shavers."
"Bobobo has managed to master a powerful skill, known as the Super Fist of the Nose Hair."
"It may sound stupid, but boy can it lay down that hurting. He can use his nose hair to whip away all who dare oppose him. Not only that, but he can use his nose hair to constrict his enemies as well. I sure as hell would not want any of that touching me."
"Not only is he a fist master, but also a hajikelist."
"A what?"
"A hajikelist, and because of this, he tends to be very random and unpredictable in his moves."
"And unpredictable he is, one moment you could see him caring for a young child, the next, you find a fist in your gut."
"Bobobo can also summon "Bobobo World" a world completely under his control. He uses this technique to baffle his opponents, and leave them open to attacks."
"And unlike most death battles, where we don't allow any third party help. We can't really do anything about this one, as Bobobo's friends just appear in this world."
"Even so, they may be his friends, but that doesn't mean he won't fight them as well."
"Good point."
"In this world, just about anything can happen."
"Do you know how many times this show has fucked with my head? It's a miracle I'm still sane."
"Bobobo may be able to use his nose hair to fight, but his strength is something to behold."
"The man's all muscle, I mean just look at him! You don't want to start a fight with this guy."
"But will that muscle be able to save him in this fight?"
"Discord, the creature that makes you ask, 'What the fuck is this thing?'"
"Discord is a draconequus, a creature composed of different parts from animals."
"Discord is the spirit of chaos, and with a title like that, you can be sure that when he is around, there is no such thing as peace."
"He uses his magic to perform acts of disharmony."
"This guy can do almost anything, such as having cotton candy clouds rain chocolate milk, or control a pile of apples using some strings."
"Discord is very mischievous, able to use this and trick his enemies. He also able to 'discord' his enemies, making them have the opposite personality."
"Such as turning the honest into the liar, the kind into the brute, the generous into the greedy, the-"
"I think they get it. But will that help in this battle?"
"Now the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all."
"IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!"
Discord popped into a small town, looking around he got small grin on his face.
"Oh, this should be a great place to start chaos." He said, chuckling to himself. Suddenly, he heard a noise, turning around, he saw a man with a golden afro, biker clothes and sunglasses riding in on a motorcycle. Within ten feet of Discord, the man stopped his vehicle and got off.
"Is your name Discord?" The man asked.
"Yes, who wants to know?"
"I do silly billy!" The man said in a more feminine voice, now wearing a pink dress. "Can I have your autograph?" He asked, handing Discord a piece of paper.
"Well, I guess. Didn't know I was this popular." He said, snapping a pen into his paw.
FIGHT!
Bobobo, now in his normal clothes of black pants and a blue shirt, proceeded to punch Discord in the jaw.
"I don't take no autograph from some freaky lizard!" He yelled as Discord flew back from the force of the punch. Discord used his wings to keep himself from hitting the ground.
"That was rude, who are you even?" Discord asked.
"My name is Bobobo, but my full name is Bobobo-Bo Bo-Bobo! And I've got a bone to pick with you." He said, as he sent his nose hair after him. Discord snapped his talons, disappearing in a flash, causing Bobobo's nose hairs to miss. Discord reappeared behind Bobobo, he snapped his talons again, causing an anvil to fall on Bobobo's head. But the man didn't even flinch.
"Didn't that hurt?" Discord asked, confused. Suddenly, Bobobo's afro started moving, shaking the anvil off.
"Of course it hurt!" The golden hair said. "What did you expect, for it to not hurt me!? I'm delicate you know, you shouldn't drop an anvil on me! Mess him up Bobobo!"
"Yes master." The human responded, heading towards Discord, nose hair at the ready. Discord was to stunned to move, he was just yelled at by some hair. Bobobo whipped him with his nose hair. The draconiquus recovered himself, landing on his feet.
"Well, it seems you need a hair cut. Luckily I can give you one free of charge." Discord said, as he manifested a pair of giant scissors.
"No, no not that!" Bobobo yelled as he ran in the opposite direction, leaving behind a giant trail of dirt and dust. As the dust settled, all that was left was Discord with a confused look on his face. He watched as the man soon ran out of sight.
"Did... I win?" He asked himself. Soon, there was a rumbling as the ground beneath Discord began to crack. He had no time to react as a giant fist appeared from the ground, hitting him and launching into the sky.
"Never let your guard down, you never know when a giant foam fist will pop out of the ground!" Bobobo yelled as he came up from the pavement. Discord landed hard on the ground, facing away from Bobobo.
"This man, he's crazy! And that's coming from me, so that's saying something." Discord thought as he started to pick himself up from the ground. But a shadow loomed over him, gulping, he turned around to see Bobobo holding a giant trout by the tail. The man raised the fish up and brought it down on the draconiquus.
"I heard you dragons like fish! So here! I brought you some, so I hope you enjoy it!" Bobobo yelled as he began smacking Discord around. After a while, Discord swiped his talons at the fish, cutting it in half. The man stopped his assault as he looked at his weapon, he blinked a few times, before looking back at Discord. "Uh, I didn't mean any of that back there." Bobobo tried to reason with the draconiquus, but Discord had it.
He punched Bobobo square in the jaw, causing spit to fly out of his mouth. As the man landed on the ground, Discord summoned a bunch of apples, having them fall on him. Thinking he had won, Discord appeared in front of the pile.
"That's why you never make a draconiquus angry." Discord said annoyed. However, the pile moved a bit, causing Discord to lift an eyebrow. Suddenly, Bobobo flew out from the mound of apples, riding on a sled being pulled by two bull dogs. Discord's eyes popped out of his head, as he ran away from the crazy man, his eyes following close behind.
"Super Fist of the Nose Hair! Doggy, Doggy, chase that bone!" Bobobo announced.
"I'm no bone!" Discord yelled back.
"To these puppies you are! Now mush!" Bobobo said. Discord quickly summoned a tree to block the dogs path. The two dogs went separate ways to avoid the tree, sending the sled and Bobobo ramming into the tree. Bobobo gasped at the sudden tree as he fell from it, leaving an imprint in the tree. Discord quickly flew towards the downed man and poked him on the forehead with his talon.
"Gah!" Bobobo gasped, standing back up. "What have you done?" He asked, looking down at his hands. Suddenly, a bright flash occurred, once it vanished, Bobobo was still there. But instead, he was sitting in a wooden rocking chair, he had a long gray beard and a grey afro, he also held a book. "Today," he began in a very dull voice. "we will be reading a story of a man in a uniform." Discorded Bobobo then opened the book and began to read.
Discord took advantage of the situation and ran to him, ready to punch the living daylight out of him. However, when getting close to him, a shark suddenly popped out of the ground, it's jaws wide open.
"Sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-SHARK!" Discord screamed as he tried to get away from the beast, but the shark had already clamped down onto him, shaking him from side to side.
"Ja-Ja-Jaws: The Movie, coming soon to a theater near you." Bobobo said, now dressed in a sailor outfit. As everything reverted to normal, Bobobo turned to Discord, who was happy to get the shark off of him. "You're tougher then I thought." He said, Discord simply looked at him. "You know what this calls for?" He asked. "A trip to Bobobo World!" He yelled out into the sky, as the world around them both changed. The town around them morphed into an open field, complete with trees in the distance, and flowers on the ground.
"Here everything is under my control, so I would sit back and try to adapt." Bobobo said. "Oh, and another thing, you powers won't work here." Discord looked at him in disbelief, but then smirked.
"Heh, watch me." He said as he snapped his fingers, at first nothing happened, but then an anvil fell onto Discord's head. He let out a grunt of pain as the anvil faded away. Discord rubbed his head, trying to sooth the pain. Suddenly, the ground begun to shake, looking behind him, he saw a sun creature riding a giant hotdog, and it was headed strait towards him. He tried to move out of the way, but was unable to and was flung away.
"Out of the way! This wiener has puppies to feed!" Don Patch yelled as he stopped next to a basket of pineapples. "Oh, did my babies miss me, I told you I would be back soon." He said, wearing an apron. Meanwhile, Bobobo was running full speed towards the sun being.
"Those aren't your children!" He yelled as he kicked Don Patch into the sky.
"I was only taking care of them!" Don screamed as he flew through the sky. Discord just looked at this with a mouth wide open, what exactly was going on here? Suddenly, something moist touched his shoulder. He looked back to see some sort of jelly man.
"Hey." Jelly Jiggler said. "I'm Jelly Jiggler." He said. Discord just looked at him with utter confusement. Bobobo looked back, seeing Discord with Jelly.
"Oh no! He's trying to take control of Jelly!" He thought. "Don't worry Jelly! I'll save you!" He yelled out as he took out a bazooka, firing it at the two. Discord and Jelly screamed in pain from the explosion as they were sent flying. "Whew, another life saved." He said, waiting for something. "Oh right, Beauty isn't here to yell at me." He said, but she was indeed watching him, through a TV screen that is, along with Gasser.
"So this is what happened after our show ended." Gasser commented.
"Yeah, and it think it's worse then when the show was still running." Beauty deadpanned. Back to the fight, Discord was picking himself off from the ground after the explosion. He looked up to see Bobobo, Don, and Jelly setting up some fireworks. Once they were done, they backed away from them, allowing them to go off.
"Happy Fourth Of July!" Bobobo yelled into the sky.
"But Bobobo, it's the fifth of July!" Don Patch said, suddenly everything stopped, with the fireworks poofing out of existence.
"In that case... Meteor shower!" Bobobo said, as he rained down hell onto Don, Jelly and Discord. Bobobo then grabbed Don Patch by the head, winding up for a throw. "Back to Jupiter with you!"
"But I belong on Pluto!" He screamed as he left Earth's orbit. Meanwhile on the moon, Luna was just relaxing, away from the craziness of royalty. She then head the sound of screaming, looking up, she saw as Don Patch passed by, screaming with wide eyes. The moon princess just looked at him for a moment before getting up.
"Oookay, that's enough moon time for now." She said as she headed back to Equestria. Meanwhile, Discord was watching as Bobobo and Jelly talked to eachother.
"Now remember son, after you leave the house, you are on your own. I just wanted to say I'm so proud of what a success you've been." He said.
"Thanks dad." Jelly responded.
"NOW EAT YOUR VEGGIES BOY!" Bobobo suddenly yelled.
"Yes sir!" Jelly then proceeded to shove a tree down his thought.
"Wha-what is this madness!?" Discord asked as he fell down, nearly passing out. Bobobo world then faded away, leaving him and Bobobo back in the town.
"I must say, you were a good opponent, but now is the end." Bobobo said.
"You-you think this is the end? I'll show you!" Discord said, trying to stand back up.
"It's the end if I say it is!" Bobobo retorted, wrapping his nose hairs around him. "And you are going back into the China Shop!" He started spinning Discord around, winding him up for a toss. He finally let go, allowing Discord to fly through the air. He soon landed in a China Shop. Promptly passing out with pupiless eyes. Bobobo just stared off into the distance, before saying. "You know, I forgot something.... I NEVER GOT HIS AUTOGRAPH!" He said, lifting up a piece of paper with tears streaming down his face.
K.O.!
"Whelp, there you have it."
"Bobobo and Discord may have been equally crazy, but Bobobo's random personalty was the downfall of Discord."
"That and that trippy ass world of his!"
"The winner is Bobobo-Bo Bo-Bobo!"
