The Cutie Mark Crusaders Get Lost in North Carolina

by totallynotabrony

Rating: everyone
Tags: Adventure, Alternate Universe, Human, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other
Length: 6311

Exactly what it sounds like

Applejack has taken a job on Earth, and agrees to host the Crusaders for a visit. When an emergency comes up, the fillies are left to take care of themselves.

A comedy.

Published 2012-04-11 18:24:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-28 04:21:54 UTC

Chapter 1

This is in the ‘Battleship’ series, but with a little lighter tone than the others.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders Get Lost in North Carolina

The terminal was busy as always. While most of the traffic traveling through the doorways between worlds was government business, there were some civilians on vacation as well. Tourism to Equestria was rapidly becoming a booming industry.

Applejack waited patiently near the doorway to Ponyville. She glanced at the clock on the wall, noting that it was just about time for her visitors to arrive.

The pony had been living and working on Earth for a few months. Her talent with finding the truth had led to a job with the Equestrian Royal Intelligence Service. She'd been sent to liaise with US military security groups. It was not her idea of engaging work, but somepony had to do it.

Camp Lejeune, North Carolina, was the largest Marine Corps base on the east coast of the United States. While there wasn’t very much else in the area aside from the city of Jacksonville to the north, it had become an important hub for dimensional travel. Applejack's job was to work with the marines and sailors who administered to the base's doorway hub. The military people she had been introduced to were mostly a likeable bunch, despite their excessive profanity. Applejack had learned how to work with them, and was on good terms with most.

The mare tipped her hat back and took a few steps toward the doorway as it energized to allow passage. A filly wearing a pink bow stepped through. It was her sister, Apple Bloom. There were two others with her, her friends Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.

The three of them showed their passports to the security agent and then walked over to meet Applejack.

“Hey AJ!” called Apple Bloom. The two of them shared a hug.

“It’s good to see ya, sis,” said Applejack. “You too, girls.”

The other two fillies smiled. “This is going to be so awesome!” said Scootaloo.

“Yeah,” agreed Sweetie Belle. “Whenever I’ve been to Earth before, Rarity just wanted to go shopping or something.”

“Well, Ah’ve got the day off today,” said Applejack. “We can have some fun.” She led the three younger ponies out of the building.

Fences surrounded the base, the fenceposts mostly planted in sand that blew in off the coast. Coniferous trees grew in clumps, occasionally reaching dozens of feet high. The brush had been cleared from around the gates to give the appearance of neatness.

Beside the base's main entrance, the red, white, and blue flags of the United States and North Carolina fluttered in the breeze next to the red Marine Corps flag. The four ponies passed through the security checkpoint and entered Jacksonville.

Human architecture was markedly different than anything ponies built. All the buildings in this part of Earth were rather drab and utilitarian. Not a bad place to live, just not much to look at.

The apartment that Applejack had rented was not far, only a few minutes’ walk past the base perimeter. It was a relatively modern building and boasted keycard locks that were easier for a pony to use than metal keys.

Applejack swiped her card to open the door and directed the fillies to where they would be staying. The couch had a hideable bed built into it, and it was large enough to accomodate the three of them.

The apartment had been rented fully furnished, and Applejack had no reason to add much. She was planning to move back to Equestria as soon as her duty assignment at Lejeune was up. Except for a small picture of her stallionfriend, there were few personal touches.

“What is there to do around here?” asked Apple Bloom, sitting down on the couch with her friends.

Applejack sat with them. “Well, there’s a couple of parks around here, and there’s a beach. If you want, we could go to a movie theater.”

The three young ponies began talking amongst themselves to decide what to do. Much of the conversation centered around what might earn them their cutie marks, the symbol that displayed a pony’s unique talent. None of the young fillies had them yet, and the three had taken to calling themselves the Cutie Mark Crusaders in their quest to acquire their marks.

The telephone rang. Applejack glanced at the clock, which read a few minutes past ten in the morning. Perhaps it was the parents of Scootaloo or Sweetie Belle calling to make sure they’d arrived all right. The telephone system had only recently been extended to Ponyville. The concept of dial tones and electronic keying were confusing to many ponies, to say nothing of fax machines.

The mare got up and balanced the phone receiver awkwardly with her hooves. Someday, she hoped a telephone made specifically for ponies would be designed.

“Hello?” Applejack frowned. “When?” She listened. “Well, that sounds just terrible.”

Her words had caught the attention of the Crusaders, and they listened to her side of the conversation quietly. To make sure she was understood, Applejack’s “telephone voice" was a little more polished than her usual drawl.

“But it’s my day off! My sister and her friends are here.” Applejack glanced at the three fillies. “No, not really.” She paused. “Well... I reckon I can if it’s that important. Yes, sir, I’ll be there.”

Putting down the phone, Applejack turned to the Crusaders. “Ah’m mighty sorry, girls, but somethin’ just came up.”

“Do you have to go to work, sis?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Yes, it’s an emergency. Ah wish y’all didn’t have to go back so soon. Ah'll take you to the terminal.”

“We can stay here,” said Sweetie Belle.

Applejack’s eyes narrowed. “And do what, exactly?”

“We could watch TV,” said Scootaloo.

“I have a deck of cards,” added Sweetie Belle.

It didn’t look like the older pony fully trusted the Crusaders, but relented. “All right, but don’t get into no trouble, y’hear? Ah’ll be back as soon as Ah can.” She adjusted her hat and went out the door.

“I wonder what happened?” said Sweetie Belle. “I bet it was important.”

“Maybe she’ll tell us later,” said Apple Bloom. “It didn’t sound good.”

“I know!” said Scootaloo. “We should do something nice for Applejack! It sounded like she was going to be having a bad day at work.”

“But what can we do?” asked Apple Bloom.

“We could paint her a picture,” suggested Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle glanced down at the apartment’s carpet with concern. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. Besides, does Applejack even have art supplies?”

The three of them thought silently for a moment. “How about we make her dinner?” proposed Apple Bloom.

“That could work,” said Scootaloo. “Something simple, though.” The Crusaders had already tried their luck at getting cooking cutie marks. They’d ended up producing messes and charcoal instead of food.

“I wonder what Applejack has in the refrigerator?” said Sweetie Belle. The three fillies scampered into the kitchen. On the outside of the fridge there was a long list of food to buy stuck to the metal with a magnet. There wasn't much to eat inside. Scootaloo propelled herself up to the cabinets and found them mostly bare.

“Darn it!” said Apple Bloom. “Ah thought that was a good idea, too.”

“Hey, my sister gave me some local cash!” said Sweetie Belle. “She said it was always good to have spending money, just in case. We could go shopping.” She trotted over to where her saddle bags had been dropped and pulled out a green bill. On the front was a portrait of a man identified only as “Franklin.”

“But where can we buy food?” questioned Scootaloo.

The three of them looked at the closed front door of the apartment. Applejack had told them not to get into trouble, but…she hadn’t said anything about staying indoors.

As if they had choreographed the movement, the Crusaders sprang into action. Apple Bloom collected a spare keycard that was lying on the kitchen counter. Sweetie Belle stuffed the money back into her bags and slung them on her back. Scootaloo got the door open and the three of them rushed out.

The midmorning sun shone brightly as the three fillies trotted away from the front door of the building. A place to obtain food was not immediately obvious.

“Should we split up?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Ah don’t think that’s a good idea,” said Apple Bloom. “Besides, you’ve got the money.”

“How about we ask him?” said Scootaloo, indicating a nearby gardener.

The man’s work clothes were covered in dirt, despite the early hour. He was on his knees in a flowerbed, and appeared to be hard at work.

“Pardon us, sir,” said Sweetie Belle. The man turned his head, surprised to see three young ponies. While the doorways between worlds had been active for a few years, visitors from Equestria were still a relatively rare sight.

“Yes?”

“Can you tell us where we can get some groceries?” asked Scootaloo.

“Well, there’s a Wal-Mart and a Food Lion over yonder.” He pointed.

“Thanks!” said Apple Bloom.

“No problem.”

The Crusaders walked in the direction the man had indicated.

"He talked kind of funny," said Scootaloo.

"Ah didn't notice anythin'." replied Apple Bloom.

Sweetie Belle looked thoughtful. “What’s a Wal-Mart?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” answered Scootaloo. “I’ve never heard of a Food Lion, either. I wonder what he’s like?”

Apple bloom frowned. “Ah didn’t think the animals here on Earth were sent—senti—”

“Smart,” suggested Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo smiled. “Well, girls, I guess we’re about to find out! Let’s go!”

Chapter 2

“What do you reckon we should be lookin’ for?” asked Apple Bloom.

“I don’t know,” mused Sweetie Belle. “What does Applejack like to eat?”

“I meant the Wal-Mart. What does it look like?” The three fillies made their way down the sidewalk, their heads swiveling to take in everything the city had to offer. The weather was warm and sunny, and it was a good day to be walking.

“It probably has a sign or something,” said Scootaloo.

The Crusaders stuck to the edge of the sidewalk away from the road. While none of them had received formal traffic safety instruction, they all stayed away from the rapidly moving vehicles.

“Why do those things move so fast?” asked Scootaloo, indicating the cars and trucks that passed them by.

Apple Bloom shrugged. “They’re in a hurry, I guess.”

“I don’t know why they don’t put up a fence or something,” grumbled Sweetie Belle. “Somepony could get hurt.”

“Well, just don’t go out in the road,” said Scootaloo. “It’s just common sense.”

“Common sense ain’t so common,” replied Apple Bloom. “Speakin’ of sense, what in the world do they mean by ‘Subway Sandwiches’?” She indicated a nearby restaurant.

“A subway is like an underground train,” explained Sweetie Belle. “I heard about them when I visited New York with my sister.”

“Why would a train be underground?” wondered Scootaloo. “And anyway, what’s that got to do with sandwiches?”

“Can we agree that it’s just Earth bein’ weird?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Sure.”

“Totally.”

They walked on.

The Wal-Mart was eventually located and the Crusaders went inside. Sweetie Belle mentioned how automatic doors could sometimes be a problem for ponies, but the weather was warm and these were held open.

“I’ve never seen so much…stuff before,” said Scootaloo, gazing on the contents of the store.

“Isn’t some of it supposed to be food?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“That sign says grocery.” Apple Bloom pointed. The three fillies walked in that direction.

While the food section of the store was larger than any that the three of them had ever seen before, it looked remarkably incomplete.

“Isn’t there supposed to be more stuff here?” asked Apple Bloom.

“There aren’t any flowers, or raw wheat, or hay,” said Scootaloo.

“Maybe they keep it somewhere else,” suggested Sweetie Belle.

Apple Bloom shrugged. “We can ask.” The three of them looked around, but no store employees were in the produce section. A woman in a Marine camouflage uniform stood nearby, examining the frozen food inside the glass-fronted cooler.

“Pardon us,” said Sweetie Belle. “Do you know if they stock pony-specific foods here?”

The woman turned, looking surprised to find three young ponies staring at her.. Her uniform displayed a single rank chevron and a nametag that read "Pickens."

“I don’t think there’s anything like that in Wal-Mart,” she answered.

“What about the Food Lion?” asked Scootaloo.

“They have a better selection, but probably not what you’re looking for.” The woman shrugged.

“You said ‘they’,” Apple Bloom commented. “Are there a lot of Food Lions?”

“There’s one in pretty much every big city in the south. If it’s not that, it’s Winn-Dixie.”

Apple Bloom had no idea what the Marine woman was talking about, and let the subject drop.

“So where can we get pony food?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“I don’t know,” answered the woman. “Maybe the health food store has something similar.”

“Well, healthy food is good food, right?” said Apple Bloom. “Where’s the store?”

The woman glanced at the frozen dinners again. “Why don’t I go with you? It’s probably better than eating this crap.” She put the box in her hand back in the cooler.

The four of them walked towards the exit. “Pardon me for asking,” said the human, “but aren’t all of you a little young to be out on your own?”

“My sister trusts us,” said Apple Bloom.

“She does security work,” offered Scootaloo.

“There aren’t very many ponies on base. Maybe I know her.”

“Her name is Applejack.”

The Marine looked surprised.

“Is somethin’ wrong, ma’am?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Uh, no, nothing. And you can call me Beth.”

The fillies introduced themselves. Apple Bloom was still somewhat suspicious of the woman’s reaction to Applejack’s name, but kept it to herself.

The health food store was in the same shopping complex as the Wal-Mart. The clunking of the Marine’s boots was a stark contrast to the lighter sound of the fillies’ small hooves.

Scootaloo pointed that out. “Beth, aren’t soldiers supposed to be quiet and stealthy?”

The woman laughed. “Well, most wars aren’t fought on pavement.” She took a few steps through the grass next to sidewalk, considerably diminishing the sound of her passage.

“And anyway,” she continued, “I’m not a soldier. I’m a Marine.”

“What’s the difference?” asked Sweetie Belle innocently.

Apple Bloom shushed her. “My sister once asked that question and all she got was a half-hour lecture.”

“Sounds about right,” said Beth, laughing.

They reached the health food store. The sign out front touted herbs, naturals, and organics. The woman pushed the door open and held it for the ponies.

The shop had an earthy, fragrant odor. Many of the products weren’t wrapped in plastic like in a traditional grocery store.

“It smells like the hay loft at the place where I grew up,” commented Beth. “Or maybe that one restaurant in Ponyville.”

“You’ve been to Ponyville?” asked Apple Bloom.

“It was, uh, a night out.” She seemed to be uncomfortable with talking about it, so Apple Bloom didn’t press.

There wasn’t hay for sale, but there were enough whole grains and other foods to please the fillies. Beth looked a little surprised when Sweetie Belle pulled out the one hundred dollar bill to pay, but didn’t comment.

The Crusaders waited while the woman paid for her own groceries and they exited the store together. Outside, a large trailer truck was backing up to the business next door.

“Dunkin’ Donuts,” said Scootaloo, reading the lettering on the side of the trailer. “What are you supposed to dunk them in?”

Beth laughed. “Coffee, I think.”

“I’ve got a lot of money left over,” said Sweetie Belle. “A donut sounds good right now.” The other fillies agreed, and they convinced the Marine to come with them.

"What the heck," she said. "I worked out earlier today."

The selection of flavors was larger than any of the ponies had ever seen before. Some of the pastries were so stuffed with filling and piled with frosting that they had ceased to resemble donuts.

"I don't claim to know how pony metabolism works," said Beth, "but I think I should warn you that these things are literally full of sugar."

"She's right," said Sweetie Belle. "We probably should limit ourselves. Maybe one donut each."

"But there's so many to choose from!" protested Scootaloo.

"Well, it looks like they have a good business here," noted Apple Bloom. "Ah'm sure the store will still be open the next time we visit Earth."

Beth nodded. "You're probably right. Dunkin' doesn't have any competition here. Despite the fact that Krispy Kreme is headquartered nearby in Winston-Salem, they don't have any stores in Jacksonville. It's a shame."

"We can talk about this later," said Scootaloo. "I'd like a donut now!"

Chapter 3

After the consumption of several donuts, the three young ponies and the Marine exited the shop. The sun was still high in the sky.

“Ah think Sugarcube Corner makes better treats,” said Apple Bloom, “but they don’t have as many kinds for sale at one time.”

“It was still really good,” said Scootaloo.

“If Sugarcube Corner is as good as you say, I might have to visit Ponyville again soon,” commented the Marine. “I’ve got some leave coming up.”

The four of them paused outside on the sidewalk. They hadn’t made plans past this point.

“It was really nice to meet you, Beth,” said Sweetie Belle.

The woman nodded. “You too. It was fun.”

“We should probably be gettin’ back now,” said Apple Bloom.

“I’ll see you three later, then.” Beth turned to go, and found herself walking beside the fillies.

“This is that awkward moment when you say goodbye but keep going in the same direction, isn’t it?” asked Scootaloo.

All of them laughed. “I suppose so,” answered Beth. “Where are you going?”

Sweetie Belle remembered the name of the apartment complex and told her.

“Talk about coincidences. That’s near where I live.” Beth frowned. “Wait, you’re staying with Applejack, right?”

Apple Bloom again noticed her reaction to AJ’s name.

“That’s right,” said Sweetie Belle. “She’s at work right now.”

The woman appeared to relax a little. “Well, I guess I might as well walk back with you. We can keep talking about sweets, if you want.”

“Sure!” said Scootaloo, smiling.

There seemed to be a little more traffic on the road than before, but the Marine was used to it, and her relaxed attitude gave the ponies confidence.

As they walked, their conversation didn’t stick to one subject. The Crusaders were still unfamiliar with Earth, and had lots of questions to ask.

A truck from the Carolina Bottling Company drove by, and Beth debated the fillies on the topic of national soda companies versus local brands.

Apple Bloom asked about all the NASCAR stickers she kept seeing on cars, and the woman explained the subject of auto racing.

Scootaloo kept trying to shift the discussion back to donuts, and succeeded a few times.

When they reached the gate of the apartment complex where Applejack lived, Beth paused, preparing to say goodbye.

“Why don’t you come in?” suggested Apple Bloom. “You know my sister, and we could sure use some help cookin’ up this food.”

“We can have a little party!” added Sweetie Belle.

“Well, I guess I could. Just for a little while.” Being invited to an informal party by three fillies was clearly not what Beth had been expecting when she got up that morning. She followed them up the walk and into the building.

It soon became obvious that the Crusaders’ cooking skills had not improved much since their last attempt at getting food-related cutie marks. They reached the decision to promote Beth to head chef.

“I hope you realize that I can barely boil water,” she said, laughing.

“That’s still better than the last time we tried,” said Apple Bloom. She looked at Sweetie Belle. “How did you even get concrete out of gelatin, anyway?”

“It wasn’t concrete! It was just really hard!” retorted the other filly. “And anyway, who baked bread so crispy that it warped the knife?”

“Calm down, you two,” said Scootaloo, pushing her way in between the other two Crusaders.

“Who put the milk in before the cereal…” said Apple Bloom.

“…and then somehow caught it on fire?” finished Sweetie Belle.

“Um, whoops,” chuckled Scootaloo nervously.

“Wow, maybe I am the best qualified,” said Beth.

A little while later, and with no serious mishaps, the food was coming off the stovetop in great quantity. While there was no meat, Beth had managed to create several dishes that she was happy with. The spice rack in the apartment was not well stocked, but enough flavors were available to satisfy any tongue.

While the ponies were not familiar with “Mexican” and “Asian” types of seasoning, they were willing to try almost anything.

They hadn’t started eating yet, and were only proceeding with initial taste-testing when the front door lock clicked open and Applejack walked in.

“Hi sis,” said Apple Bloom, trotting forward.

Applejack stopped short at the sight of the person in her kitchen. Beth looked up and froze. For a moment, the two of them stared at each other.

“Beth Pickens,” said Applejack, looking surprised.

“Uh, hello.” The woman looked nervous.

The three Crusaders glanced back and forth between the two of them. Something was happening, and they didn’t want to miss a minute of it.

“Can Ah talk to you outside?” asked Applejack.

The Marine nodded and dried her hands on a towel before following the pony out the door. The door clicked shut behind them.

“What was that all about?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“If AJ wanted us to know, she wouldn’t have left,” observed Apple Bloom.

“I guess we’ll just wait, then,” said Scootaloo.

Several minutes passed.

“This is boring!” cried Sweetie Belle. “I know it’s polite to wait on guests, but we’ve got all this food ready to go!”

“Well, it’s still afternoon,” said Apple Bloom. “Maybe we should have waited a little while before we started cooking.”

“Hey, maybe if Applejack and Beth are going to be very long, we can go back to the donut shop and pick up something for desert!” said Scootaloo.

Several more minutes passed.

“Yeah, let’s go get donuts,” said Apple Bloom.

“Right,” agreed Sweetie Belle.

The fillies transferred the food into the refrigerator and left a note on the kitchen counter about their whereabouts. They discovered that Applejack and Beth were not outside the apartment door, so maybe they’d taken a walk.

“This is going to be a great dinner!” said Sweetie Belle. “I hope Beth can stay.”

“Ah still kind of wonder what Applejack wanted to talk to her about,” said Apple Bloom. “And why it’s takin’ so long.”

“Less talking, more donuts,” advised Scootaloo.

Chapter 4

Applejack and Beth exited the apartment. Neither had said a word since the pony had asked the human to step outside.

The door swung closed. “How did you come to be here?” asked Applejack.

Beth shrugged. “I just happened to run into your sister and her friends at Wal-Mart.”

“What in tarnation were they doin’ there?” demanded Applejack.

“They wanted to buy groceries to make you dinner. They thought you might be having a tough time at work today. Once I told them I knew you, they invited me back.”

“I told them not to get into any trouble!”

Beth glanced at the door. She hoped Applejack’s voice wouldn’t be heard inside the apartment. The pony caught the look, and motioned for the woman to follow her.

“Well, I don’t think they were causing any problems,” said Beth as they walked. “We had a good time.”

“You didn’t tell them anything about…what happened?”

“God no. As far as I’m concerned, the less said about that, the better.”

They walked in silence for a moment.

“We need to get this settled between us,” Applejack said quietly.

Beth looked at her. “You really want to talk about it?”

“The rest of the base has forgotten, but you and Ah have been avoidin’ the subject.”

“They haven’t forgotten! Just the other day somebody called me a pony fu—”

Applejack stopped her. “Look sugarcube, we both know that nothin’ happened. It’s too bad that it looked like we were doin' somethin’ else in that hotel room, but we just have to move on.”

Beth sighed. “I guess I have been avoiding you since then. I’m sorry.”

“Ah shoulda been more responsible and not let either of us get drunk in the first place,” said Applejack.

“I forgive you.”

Applejack nodded. “So, would you like to stay for supper?”

“That’d be great.” The two of them turned around and headed back towards the apartment. It had been a little while since they’d left, and Applejack hoped that the fillies hadn’t gotten impatient and dug into the food without them.

She opened the door. “Girls?” There was no reply.

The food was put away, and the note left on the counter advised that the Crusaders had headed back to the donut shop to pick up dessert.

“We already stopped there once,” said Beth. She explained a little more about the shopping trip.

“Well, I guess that’s nice of them,” said Applejack. “So what exactly did y’all do today?”

The two of them sat on the couch and talked. It was much less awkward than their earlier conversation. Beth was reminded why she and Applejack had first begun hanging out together. The mare was a good friend, and she felt ashamed that she had let the opinions of a few people push them apart.

Beth glanced at the picture of AJ’s stallionfriend. “So when was the last time you spoke to Constant?”

“Yesterday.”

“It’s too bad you’re here on Earth and he still doesn’t want to visit,” observed the woman.

“Sure, but can you blame him?” Like Applejack, Constant Clock also worked for the Royal Intelligence Service. His run-in with the Chicago mafia a few years back had soured him to people in general.

Beth nodded. “Well, it’s good that you’re still together. Long distance relationships usually don’t work out. Lord knows that I’ve been through that.”

Applejack glanced at the digital time readout on the microwave. “How long did it take to get to that donut shop?”

“It’s over there by Wal-Mart. Do you know which one I’m talking about? It doesn’t take very long to get there.”

Applejack nodded. “It’s not too far. Ah hope they didn’t get held up with eatin’ donuts ‘stead of carryin’ some back.”

Beth laughed. “They told me I should try Sugarcube Corner in Ponyville. Their stuff is better.”

“Sure is,” Applejack agreed. The two of them were silent for a moment.

“Do you think we should go look for them?” asked Beth.

“Probably.”

Applejack and Beth were nowhere to be seen when the Crusaders stuck their heads out the door, so they decided that there was probably enough time to go back to the donut shop after all.

“It was down this way, wasn’t it?” asked Sweetie Belle.

Apple Bloom shrugged. “That looks right. Ah don’t remember the street name.”

Scootaloo glanced at the sky. “When did it get cloudy? Is there rain scheduled?”

“Since when is weather a big concern for you?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Well, I thought I could work as a weather pony someday,” answered Scootaloo. “Besides, isn’t weather an important thing to everypony?”

“The difference is, on Earth the weather just happens,” said Apple Bloom, reminding the other two. “There’s nothin' controllin’ it.”

“Earth’s weird,” said Scootaloo.

“Yeah,” agreed Sweetie Belle.

“What kinda donuts do you think we should get?” asked Apple Bloom.

“That might be a hard question to answer,” laughed Sweetie Belle. “We’ll just have to see when we get there.”

“This is the right direction, isn’t it?” said Scootaloo.

Author note:
I lifted a little bit of the dialogue from Fernin's Strange Bedfellows. It's a pretty good story.

The word count per chapter appears to be dwindling as we go along. I’ll probably take a few days off and come up with a larger chapter. Thanks for reading.

Chapter 5

“I don’t think this is the way to the donut shop,” said Sweetie Belle.

“You might be right,” said Scootaloo.

“How could we have gotten lost?” asked Apple Bloom. “We’ve were there earlier today.”

“I hope we find it soon,” said Scootaloo, glancing skyward. “It looks like it’s going to rain.”

The clouds that had replaced the sun from that morning were growing darker and heavier. The Crusaders quickened their pace.

“Now I know we ain’t seen that before,” said Apple Bloom, indicating a restaurant. The sign out front read Pig Pickin’ and BBQ. It included a stylized picture of a roasted pig. The three fillies shuddered.

“But where in the world are we?” asked Sweetie Belle. “I know we headed in the right direction, but we must have taken a wrong turn somewhere.”

“Was that a raindrop?” said Scootaloo.

“Looks like some weather comin’ in,” said Applejack, tipping her hat back.

“The TV news said there was going to be a thunderstorm tonight,” commented Beth. She peered at the sky from under the distinctive eight-pointed cover the Marines issued.

They walked towards the donut shop in silence for a few minutes.

“What have you been up to since Ah saw you last?” asked Applejack.

“I get up. PT. Eat, work, back to bed.”

“That’s all?”

“Well, there’s not much to tell. What about you?”

“Ah ain’t touched liquor since then,” said Applejack. They both laughed.

On a more serious note, the pony said, “You need to stop livin’ in the past. The best you can do is set the record straight. Some might not believe you, but some will.”

“What am I supposed to say? ‘I did not have sexual relations with that pony’?”

Applejack flushed a little. “It’s a start.”

They kept walking. Beth kicked a rock off the sidewalk with her boot. “At least there’s nothing in the UCMJ about it yet.” The rules for military personnel were notoriously strict, but slow to be revised.

Applejack laughed. “Only a matter of time before they either legalize it or outlaw it completely. Those poor politicians have no idea how to go about getting’ ponies and people to live together.”

“That’s probably the first time I’ve ever heard someone feel sorry for a politician,” remarked Beth. “Anyway, I like you AJ, but I’m not up for a roll in the hay.”

“Same here, sugarcube.”

Shortly, they reached Dunkin’ Donuts. “Have you seen three little ponies in here?” asked Applejack.

“They were in here earlier with her,” said the man behind the counter, nodding to Beth.

“They didn’t come back?” asked the Marine.

“No, I would have remembered appetites like that.”

“We have a problem,” said Applejack.

Several blocks away, Apple Bloom echoed her sister’s words. “This is a big problem, girls! We have no idea where we are!”

“Calm down. I’m sure we’re just a little lost,” said Scootaloo.

“A little lost is like saying a cake is a little burned!”

“Well, we can always ask for help,” pointed out Sweetie Belle. “It worked last time. Maybe we’ll even make a new friend.”

The Crusaders looked around. The rain was beginning to sprinkle, and they were on a stretch of cracked sidewalk along a back street in the city. The traffic was lighter, but so was the number of people available to ask for directions.

A bright orange vehicle pulled into a parking lot ahead. Blue lettering spelled out “General Lee Taxi Service.”

“Most taxis are yellow,” commented Sweetie Belle. Seeing the confused looks on the faces of the other two fillies, she clarified, “You give the driver money and they take you where you want to go.”

“That sounds great,” said Scootaloo. The three of them ran up to the car.

The man sitting behind the steering wheel was chomping on a sandwich when the Crusaders approached. He swallowed in surprise and said, “Can I help you with something?”

“Do you know where the Dunkin’ Donuts is?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Sure.”

Sweetie Belle flashed some money. “How fast can you get us there?”

Applejack stormed out of the donut shop. Her anger wasn’t directed at a specific target, and Beth didn’t want to become one.

“When Ah get my hooves on them—” the pony started.

“Whoa, take it easy,” said the Marine. “They could be lost and scared somewhere.”

Applejack let out a deep sigh. “Ah suppose you’re right. We should really get to lookin’ for ‘em.”

They walked back towards Applejack’s apartment. The raindrops were picking up now, although not enough to warrant a sprint for cover.

Beth gave a short chuckle.

“What is it?” asked Applejack. Her tone suggested that it was not the time to be laughing.

“Nothing. This rain reminds me a little of a time during boot camp. I was feeling pretty desperate then, too.”

“And how was that funny?”

“There were a lot of us that were feeling bad about getting kicked around. Then the sky opened up. The drill instructor told us, ‘The rain makes you strong! All of you will learn to love it. Right now, you should be so motivated that your motoboner is hard. Mine is!’.”

“What the…” said Applejack.

“Yeah, I couldn’t figure it out either,” said Beth. “It was a female DI.”

Applejack snorted, and then laughed hard. Beth joined her.

A little while later, the woman said, “I’m sorry to bring that up. I know it doesn’t have much to do with anything.”

“It’s all right. I suppose I needed somethin’ to take my mind off things for a little while.” Applejack’s voice didn't hold the same note of depression as before.

“Don’t worry,” Beth assured her. “I’m sure we’ll find them soon.”

“This is amazing! Way better than the scooter!” squealed Scootaloo. The vehicle’s engine roared as the driver skillfully weaved in and out of traffic. Apple Bloom looked fascinated, but cautious. Sweetie Belle hung on for dear life.

The orange car slid to a stop in front of the donut shop. “Just a minute!” called Scootaloo. The three fillies ran inside.

“One dozen to take with us, please,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Sure. Good to see you again, by the way.” The man behind the counter grabbed a donut box. “Another pony and that woman you were with earlier came by asking about you.”

“If they were here, they must be lookin’ for us!” said Apple Bloom. “They’re probably worried.”

“We’d better hurry, then,” said Sweetie Belle. She quickly advised the man which donuts the three of them would like.

After paying, they dashed back outside to the taxi.

Apple Bloom told the driver the name of her sister’s apartment complex.

“And step on it!”

Chapter 6

“My sister and Beth aren’t here!” called Apple Bloom. She’d just opened the apartment door and taken a quick look inside.

“Maybe they’re still out looking for us,” suggested Sweetie Belle.

“Or maybe they’re lost!” added Scootaloo.

The three fillies looked at each other. Thunder rumbled in the background.

“The taxi’s still outside…” said Sweetie Belle.

“But what if we leave here and they come back?” questioned Apple Bloom.

“We can leave a note,” pointed out Scootaloo.

Each of them stared at the others. It was time to make a tough decision.

“Ah don’t believe this,” muttered Applejack.

“What, the fact that the street’s blocked, or the fact that it was caused by donut truck losing control in the rain and running into a coffee shop?” asked Beth.

“Either one,” said the pony. “This is the last thing we needed.” They picked their way around the assembled emergency vehicles and headed for a cross street to go around the accident.

“I think my pen’s bleeding,” said the woman. The rain had been coming down steadily for a while now.

“Does it show on that camo uniform?” asked Applejack. Her hat was sopping wet and her mane hung limply, dripping water.

“I guess not.” Beth took the offending writing instrument out of her pocket and dropped it down a gutter.

“My sister and her friends may lack common sense,” said Applejack, “but I’m sure they managed to get themselves safe and dry somewhere.”

“If they’re the ones who lack common sense, then what are we?” Beth laughed.

Applejack chuckled. “Soaked, that’s what.”

A few minutes passed.

“Do you think we should go to the police?”

“Ah don’t know. Ah don’t want to make a fuss, but Ah’m worried sick. We probably should.”

The two of them navigated around the road closure and returned to Applejack’s place a short while later. The mare hoped with every bone in her body that the fillies would be waiting there.

The door clicked open to reveal a darkened apartment. “Have they been here?” asked Beth.

The pony and the human ventured past the threshold, dripping water on the carpeted floor. Neither one of them cared.

There was a note lying on the kitchen counter.

AJ and Beth – We’re OK.

“That’s it?” shouted Applejack. “Ah’m gonna—”

“Surprise!” cried three young voices. The lights flicked on. The mare and the Marine looked stunned.

“What in tarnation—” began Applejack.

“Donuts?” asked Beth, spotting the box the fillies had carried in.

“A whole dozen!” confirmed Sweetie Belle. “These are for dessert, though.”

“Why don’t you two get dried off while we heat up supper?” said Apple Bloom.

“And try not to make a mess of the carpet,” added Scootaloo.

“What just happened?” muttered Applejack as she and Beth headed for the linen closet to get towels.

Beth shook her head. “I’m lost.”