Twilight Sparkle Against Smackdown Versus Raw 2008

“Welcome ladies and gentlemen, I’m Jim Ross.”

“And I’m your host, Jerry ‘the King’ Lawler!”

“And we’re here to welcome you to another special event! We’ve seen a lot of strong contenders ready to oppose the rising star, Twilight Sparkle. Right, King?”

“That’s right JR, and even though he’s fought against some of the already present wrestlers we got at Smackdown, I think it’s high time she gets to play in the big leagues.”

“Come on, King. I mean, he’s got himself some good moves, but against wrestlers like Kane or Mark Henry, Twilight doesn’t stand a chance!”

“Oh really?” King said with a hint of sarcasm. “Well I guess it’s going to be a bloodbath tonight. But who’s going to be doing the spilling will be decided here as we got an interesting tag match tonight.”

“King’s not lying, folks! I mean, after all, one of the guys just for tonight re-adopted his name the Master of Pain, and it seems the other guy’s gone back to his old mask from 2006. Right now it looks like we got ourselves a real blast from the past!”

“That’s right. So we should introduce the first ones to make their debut first. So coming to you live, or rather unlive in one of their cases, are the Undertaker and Rey Mysterio!”

From the entrance ramp arriving from opposite sides came two wrestlers of astounding fame. From the left strode a man of grand height, dressed in a black trenchcoat and a large brim dark hat, and his simple presence emanated despair. But from the other side bounced out a wiry framed short guy without a shirt dressed only in a Mexican decorated white mask which matched his equally elaborate trousers. Together they served as opposites, one being the bearer of darkness and the other rather joyful and athletic. But this schism of powers may very well result in a great collision of ultimate brutality. And so together they gathered in the ring.

“But don’t worry, anybody. Twilight’s not going to receive an unfair fight,” King continued. “Right JR?”

“That’s right, King. Twilight’s hard fighting style serves against Rey’s high flying maneuvers. So who’s the best to fight the man who feels nothing? Heck, the man who fears nothing of course! So teaming up with Twilight Sparkle here tonight is Chris Benoit!”

Arriving from the left part of the entrance ramp, the duo ran down the entrance side-by-side and both climbed onto the stage and stared down their opponents, Twilight to Rey and Benoit to the Undertaker.

“Look at this JR, not a bit of animosity from them to be seen, and it looks like we’ll get a pretty friendly match.”

“You sure about that? Because it looks like Undertaker has something to say.”

Indeed. The Dead Man took up a Microphone and confronted Benoit. “How cute this is. A new, original wrestler teamed up with hack and a rip off.”

Twilight spoke loud enough so that her voice could also be heard on the mic. “What do you mean? I don’t think anyone else looks a thing like Chris.”

“Oh, but you’re right. Nobody else looks like this man. But that doesn’t take away from the attitude he stole. An emotionless husk of acute physical form. Remorseless, compassionless, humorless. I wonder who did that first?” Undertaker leaned in and held a finger to his chest. “It was me!” And Undertaker let out a loud roar of a laugh over the sound of a booing crowd.

After he finished, Chris only smiled before taking the mic from Twilight “You know, this reminds me a lot of something I was accused of in the 6th of June, 2000 show of Smackdown. And I think that’s applicable here.” Chris steadied himself and looked dead eyed at the Dead Man.

“You don’t see any remorse. . . Because I don’t have any. You don’t see any compassion because I have none. I don’t need a sense of humor. And I sure as hell don’t have to explain myself to you, or anyone else!”

The cheers broke out again and then the microphones shifted to the other two standing off, Twilight and Rey.

“Heh, I get that both these guys are working with Smackdown but I don’t think they’ve ever met!”

“All the more reason to start some friendly rivalry JR! Trust me on this, I know it never fails.”

Rey nodded a bit while keeping a positive expression on his face. “You know, my kids would really love to get a ride from an absolutely beautiful morado caballo like you.” He said, rolling the l’s on the word “caballo.”

Twilight blushed a bit. Beautiful? How very nice of him! “Why thank you, maybe after the match I can visit and we can all get to know each other.”

Rey held a hand in front of him as though halting Twilight’s train of thought. “No way Jose, after the cracked ribs I’m gonna give you tonight I don’t think you’ll have anybody riding you for a while, horsie.”

Twilight’s ears drooped. This was going to be a painful match, for sure. So after the introductions were out of the way, the Undertaker and Benoit left out of the mat on opposite sides and hung around by opposite turnbuckles.

“Now if I recall, this is Twilight’s first tag team match up. So, King, still got confidence in the rising superstar?”

“You betcha, JR. Simple tag match, simple rules. Two opponents square off in the ring who can swap out by tagging their partner. Besides, you can just feel the confidence rising from these superstars!”

“Well that sure is a lot of talk. We’ll have to see if it means squat.”

And so with that the bell rang and the match began. Rey immediately started running at her with astounding speed and leapt high into the air. Twilight tried to back away but Rey grabbed hold of her by the neck and swung himself into a riding position on her and used his other hand to take hold of her mane. Twilight went buck wild and started bucking all over the place and thrashing about as Rey held on!

“Would you look at that! You must feel right at home, huh JR?”

“A tiny man riding on the back of a large wrestler? You better not be insinuating anything!”

Rey luckily used Twilight’s senseless to his advantage. Yanking her mane to the right and left appropriately, he steered her right into a turnbuckle and she accidentally slammed her own head against it, knocking her down.

With her down and barely out, he climbed over her and onto the top of the turnbuckle. From there, he jumped high into the air and slammed himself with his arms and legs held underneath him. It didn’t hit hard given his light frame, but it sure was enough to splay her out in the corner!

“The Frog Splash!”

“And in the corner like that, he could’ve taken her head clean off!”

Chris Benoit was in the corner in a moment. “Twilight, you okay?”

Twilight’s head waved from side to side and she was seeing stars. “No thank you Smarty Pants, I don’t like sugar with my tea!”

Chris started freaking out and just gave her hoof a slap and hopped in the ring. “Yeah, you’re gonna need to sit this out for a bit.” And he shoved her out with his foot.

“The Crippler’s tagged in! Now Rey’s gonna be in a world of hurt!”

Chris and Rey began staring each other down and walking in circles. It was a stalemate, if Rey made the first move Chris would smash him and if Chris went first Rey would just dodge and parry. The referee saw that this was going to be pretty boring and took a spot next to the ropes to rest up.

But while he was resting against the ropes, a purple gloved hand snuck from behind and yanked him out of the ring and slammed him hard onto the floor. He was going to be out for a bit.

“Uh oh, no ref!”

“Come on, Chris! Look behind you!”

The announcer’s pleas fell on deaf ears in the ring, as a large figure loomed his shadow over the two dueling men. Chris saw the light fade from Rey’s form and turned around to see the pale face of the Undertaker! He had removed his robe and hat and was sporting the attire he wore back in 1994: A black sleeveless shirt, ebon pants, and a pair of purple gloves.

Chris tried to react but he was met immediately by the Undertaker’s hand clasping itself around Chris’ throat. The Undertaker lifted him up and began to strangle the Canadian Crippler. But before he could pass out to dreamland, Undertaker slammed him down right onto the mat!

“The chokeslam! Poor Chris, he’s not going to survive for long!”

The Undertaker lifted Chris up by the arm, who remained dazed and just barely on his feet. Rey threw his partner a thumbs up and ran to one side of the ropes. Following suit, the Undertaker Irish whipped Chris towards the same direction. Rey arrived at the ropes with plenty of time and slipped between the top and middles ones, span around and kicked his legs at where Chris was going to land.

“Chris is going to get 619’d! This is just turning out to be a real slobberknocker!”

He was almost there, but a flash of purple appeared next to him, turned around, and kicked Rey off of the ropes and into the barricades! The force was so great that he knocked the barricade over and crushed several fans in the crowd.

“Twilight’s back!” King shouted and hugged JR. He then realized what he was doing and let go. “Um, so how about them bears?”

Chris rested on the ropes and could barely make out the figure of Twilight next to him.

“You get out and keep tiny busy, I’ll handle the big guy.”

He managed to hear what she said through cauliflower ears and slipped out of the ropes, trying to get back his senses. Twilight, meanwhile, faced off against one of the tallest guys she saw. Seeing that he was clearly two or three times her size, she was intimidated but feared not in his presence.

“Hey you! You smell like death!”

Undertaker got real mad. She wasn’t wrong, but it’s still a harsh thing to say. So he ran right at her and tried to hit her with a hard right punch, but Twilight easily ducked it and went behind him. He couldn’t keep up with her, her legs were far too long and she had four of them, allowing for easy maneuverability.

And once behind, Twilight wrapped her two front hooves around the Undertaker’s waist, lifted him into the air, and slammed him onto the mat behind her.

“GERMAN SUPLEX!” Was the one phrase that rang through the crowd. As they clapped and chanted out the name of one of Twilight’s now signature moves.

But lifting the heavyweight left her exhausted, but still on her hooves. And she was still on her feet. The Dead Man was visibly harmed by this, but showed no sign of giving up. He walked her over and delivered his delayed right punch right into her cheek, knocking her almost off her feet. She was disoriented enough for him to take one of her offending front hooves and drag her by it over to one of the turnbuckles. Once there, he climbed it while still holding her leg, and began to demonstrate a feet of amazing prowess that only he could perform: He began to walk on the top rope while holding her hoof.

“He’s walking the rope! He’s walking the rope! Oh boy, it’s been a while since I’ve seen that!”

Undertaker jumped off and smashed his forearm against Twilight’s back, knocking her to the floor. The astounding strength of it all was enough to incapacitate even the largest of men. And so, confident that he won, he dragged Twilight into the middle of the ring and then stood tall above the flattened pony. He stuck out his thumb and dragged it across his neck from ear to ear, and in a loud, raspy, monotone voice he only said “Rest. In. Piece.”

He grabbed her by the sides and hoisted her to his feet while holding her by the neck with his massive thighs. He then gripped her by the belly and prepared to deliver his finishing move.

“It’s the Last Ride! That’s it folks, this is the end of Twilight’s career.”

Yanking her from between his legs and hoisting her up in the air, the Undertaker was ready to slam her back down to the mat and finish the match. Nobody can make it after getting hit with such a powerful upcoming powerbomb!

But Twilight regained her senses and grabbed the Undertaker by the back of his head. The Undertaker was a surprised, a brief flash of emotion on his otherwise emotionless face, as Twilight used gravity to her advantage and slammed the Undertaker face-first into the mat. Sure, he probably didn’t feel that pain, but he ain’t exactly moving either!

Twilight took this advantage and flipped the Undertaker over as the ref slid into the ring and immediately started spanking the mat.

“One! Two! Three!” Shouted the referee. When he finished the bell clanged and the match was over.

Chris joined his partner in the ring and they both held their heads high in celebration of a well fought victory.