Twilight Sparkle Against Smackdown Versus Raw 2008

The screen flickered to light and erupted with color, unfortunately the color was black. After some time, a barrage of white boxes filled with black text appeared and then disappeared on the screen, but only for a second each before they went away. Then came forth a proverbial wall of text containing rather daunting language like “World Wrestling Federation” and “Legal” And “Ducks.” And then everything came to a rather calm result as the screen then showed the title of the game in giant letters which read Smack Down Vs Raw 2008. And, below all this were words of a letter importance which instructed to PRESS START.

“Luna?” Twilight looked over at Luna who had an unhealthy fixed stare on the screen. “You want to start this? I’m new to this after all.”

“No need to worry, simply press the button on your controller that says ‘start’ and it’ll begin.”

Twilight looked down at the black boomerang she was provided earlier and was genuinely befuddled. But after squinting her eyes a bit, she finally found some triangular protrusion with the text ‘Start’ over it. She held the controller about a full foot ahead of her and cautiously pressed it. The moment she did, a screen appeared which read something about ‘Hardcore’ and ‘Character Classes’ but then it went away in favor of another screen. This one appeared to be much more lively, with the logo from before appearing in the bottom left corner and on the right there were a number of single phrases, one of which being Exhibition which happened to be highlighted at this moment.

“Alright, so just keep pressing the ‘X’ button until it’ll let you choose your character. Exhibition is just a one-on-one match so it’ll help you to learn the basics.”

Twilight constantly had to look up from the controller and back to it, but yet she managed to follow these instructions to the letter and soon came upon a screen which showed two different human figures.

“So these are the characters I can choose from?”

“Yeah, there’s about half a million. The device has been modified so as to allow greater options, but for now just choose Gregory Helms.”

“Is this guy any good?”

“Not at all.”

Win or lose, Twilight knew she would gain some experience at this game so she kept hammering the X button until the highlights swapped from the top left to the bottom right of the screen. Luna took over the controls from her standpoint and swiftly chose the other character to be Ric Flair.

“Is that guy any good?”

“He’s ancient, so he shouldn’t provide too much of a problem.”

Considering Luna, the pony who spent a thousand years on the moon, is saying this then this Ric Flair guy must be really old. After some waiting, the screen eventually came to the game itself by which it showed a view of one guy wearing a skullcap standing opposite from a fossil of a man in a speedo in a squared wrestling ring with only a referee to stop them.

“Luna, you said this is one-on-one!” Twilight said upon seeing the guy in black and white striped shirt

“But it is Twilight. With haste, lay siege to your opponent!”

“Which one do I shoot?”

“You don’t have any way to shoot in this game.”

“How do I even attack?”

Twilight’s newly founded nightmare came to fruition when the mummy in his undies started walking slowly at her character.

“Quick, how do I play?!” Twilight exclaimed whilst shaking in fright.

“Just press the square button!”

“But all the buttons on this thing are circles!”

“Press different buttons and see what they do!”

Twilight started monkeying about with the controller and eventually got Gregory Helms to start running from one end of the ring, bouncing off of the ropes, and running at Ric Flair. Unfortunately, this was all she could get him to do.

“Alright, so you’re in the running position. So when you come up to him press up on the right stick and you’ll do an attack.”

Twilight followed these instructions and was treated to a camera shot of her character jumping on Ric Flair, and flattening him on the ground and then unleashing a flurry of punches to Ric’s cranium.

“Jeez, Luna, this is brutal. So how do I use magic?”

“Just a moment, I have with me the instructions.” Luna pulled out a paltry sized set of pages stapled together and glanced at them briefly. “According to this, the only magic done in wrestling is behind the scenes. So I guess you can’t cast any spells.”

“Alright, well where’s the swords at?”

“There’s no swords in this game. Besides, if you try and use a weapon then you’ll get disqualified for this match.”

“Fine. I suppose I’ll just try attacking him again.”

Twilight attempted another running-grapple maneuver, but once her character got up to Ric Flair he just came to a dead stop, then he started walking slowly over with both feet planted on either side of Ric. Gregory Helms leaned down, and Ric Flair poked him right in the eyes! Stunned and blinded, Ric Flair escaped from his vulnerable position and readied himself to deliver a finishing blow. This, as it turns out, never arrived. Ric Flair just stood perfectly still.

“What’s going on? He’s not doing anything.”

“That’s great, now you may land a strike on your foe! But whatever you do, don’t climb the turnbuckle.”

Twilight took to her usual strategy and guided Gregory to one of the corners of the ring, or as they are known in the wrestling realm, the turnbuckle. Immediately her character scaled to the top of it, but Ric Flair got a good running start and threw a punch that connected to Gregory! Gregory then fell backwards off of the turnbuckle, dropped midway and almost hit the floor outside before appearing inside the ring corner on his back.

“What the hay just happened? Did I do a teleport?”

“Well, yes. Technically. I mean, you were not supposed to teleport but it appears you have. Human teleport, it’s what they do I suppose.”

Gregory Helms got back to his feet all on his own, but Ric Flair was already prepared to set off his next ingenious plan. Ric Flair was at the other end of the ring, far away from Gregory, and he grabbed ahold of the referee and shoved him at Twilight’s character!

“Ah! I told you it was two-on-one! They’re teaming up on me!”

The referee fell flat on his face in the middle of the ring and didn’t even bother to get up, probably out of shame. Twilight then went back to her reliable and probably ancient technique and ran at Ric Flair to try another vicious pounding but Ric Flair countered by somehow grabbing ahold of Gregory Helms’ arm and tossing him backwards. Oddly enough, even though they were both rubbing against the ropes meaning that Gregory should’ve just been chucked outta the ring, Ric Flair’s body just started sliding back and Gregory just ended up face-down on the floor in the corner of the ring.

A prompt came up on the screen that demanded Twilight press all the buttons to get back up, which Twilight of course followed. This made absolutely no difference as Helms apparently thought it’d be a great idea to take a nap at this moment and refused to get up. Ric Flair approached Gregory’s feet and Gregory finally got to his hands and knees to try and get up, but then Ric stood over him and raked his fingernails down Gregory’s back causing him to howl in pain!

“What the hay did that guy just do?”

“I believe he clawed you with his elderly nails.”

“That’s it then. No more games!”

Gregory got back up and faced off against a perfectly still Ric Flair. Twilight guided her character into a run and he started going straight at her enemy! And then Gregory totally slipped by and tackled the referee and punched his face several times.

“Twilight, you missed!”

“No I didn’t.”

With the striped villain disposed of, Gregory went back over to Ric Flair and started to unleash a series of sick punches and elbow hits in conjunction with Twilight’s mashing of random buttons on the controller. But one blow appeared to be too many, and Ric Flair caught Helms’ fist. He then let go, opened his arms wide, and lifted Gregory Helms onto his shoulders like a fireman carrying a victim. And with the force of gravity at his side, Ric Flair dropped Gregory Helms onto the solid floor of the ring with a resounding crash! With the exhausted Helms on the ground, Ric delivered another back scratch with similar results as the last time. Gregory was on his feet from this soon enough, and so was the referee.

“Twilght Sparkle, the referee is not the bad guy in this. He’s not fighting you. Please don’t attack him again.”

It was too late, Twilight is in the zone now with vigor boiling inside her, although in reality that vigor was probably just indigestion. But anyways, Twilight forced Helms to deliver yet another running smackdown to the referee, pounding at his face again! And when her attack had finished, a bell was struck several times and the letters “DQ” Showed up in the middle of the screen and the game just stopped.

“I won?” Twilight then got the biggest grin ever on her face and was on her feet cheering. “I won!”

“No, you didn’t. You got disqualified.” Luna scooted away from the purple princess next to her who abruptly stopped with her gallivanting.

“Wait, huh? But I did the thing!”

“You’re not supposed to attack the referee.”

“But he was teaming up with the Flair guy!”

“No, Flair tried to throw him into you. Flair fights dirty like that.”

Twilight’s joy was sapped the instant defeat reached her. Had she known she had lost, it wouldn’t have been as big a deal, but this was messed up.

“Well, let’s try something else in this.” Luna said, trying to change the subject so that she won’t have to deal with a depressed Twilight for the second time this month. “There’s a create-a-wrestler mode in this game that is quite fun to use and is more extensive thanks to the modifications. Why not try that?”

“No.”

“Princess Sparkle?”

“No Luna. That’s it. Please turn this off. This game clearly isn’t for me. I think Rainbow Dash would like to play though.”

Luna indeed turned off the power to the system and was about to respond but her position on the floor was such that when she turned to Twilight she looked out the window and saw something that didn’t really fit.

“Twilight, you may be shocked to hear this but it’s nighttime.”

Twilight glanced at the window and her jaw just fell, and had it not been connected with tissue and muscle it would’ve bonked on the floor.

“But I just woke up!”

“I believe the game too longer to load up the match than I initially planned.”

“You’re telling me that I just spent a whole day playing this game?”

“My apologies, had I known I would have warned you.”

“Luna?”

“Yes Twilight?”

“Get out of my house.”

While this wasn’t the first time Twilight said that exact sentence to her, it was still rather disheartening. Still, Luna reasoned that it may be best to leave on good terms. “Very well. I’ll come by tomorrow to retrieve this equipment, since the day is over I must guard the night.”

Luna left the house and Twilight Sparkle retreated to her room. After the next day this will all be over.