Author's Note

Awkwardness shall intensify as of this point.

Chapter 23: Dinner With the Benoits

Twilight Sparkle found herself before the evil manifestation of vile foodstuffs composed entirely of unsavory ichor and turgid flesh. However the absence of the vital necessities in her life have left her debilitated for the most part and desperate, leading her to only one conclusion. It, the unmentionable thing, was already in her possession, recently purchased, and to toss it aside would be wasteful. She wished she could hesitate, but she was far too gone and starving. So without further hesitation, she opened her mouth and prepared to fill it up with copious amounts of hot dog with mustard.

But then the Canadian Crippler, Chris Benoit, slapped the hot dog out of her magic and yelled “Twilight, don’t eat that!”

And then Twilight suddenly snapped out of her hunger induced senselessness and caught a glimpse of the sign next to the stand proclaiming “100 percent beef.” Meat plus horses equals sad times.

Twilight wiped her brow and took a deep breath. “Thanks, I almost made a big mistake.”

“That’s right.” He then looked at the sign and back to Twilight. “Oh, not because of that, that’s just a lie. There’s no meat in hot dogs. Still, you shouldn’t eat them.”

Twilight’s jaw dropped drastically and then she stared at the discarded frankfurter on the ground, that was already halfway eaten away by a swarm of roaches. “But, Chris,” She began. “I haven’t had anything except junk food since I got here. I am about to die!”

“Really?” Chris said in befuddlement. “You’ve been undefeated and you haven’t been eating right?” He then let out a chuckle and gave a pat to Twilight’s head. “Well let me tell you what, how about you join me and Nancy for dinner at my house? I’m sure she won’t mind.”

“Really? That’d be great! I really should thank her for the salad the other day, anyways.”

“Well then let’s go after work!” And with this final remark to a nodding Twilight, the duo made plans to eat dinner at the Benoit household.

Later that day, at the Benoit household, Chris was dressed in more casual attire composed of a T-shirt and jeans while Twilight was bare naked, as always. However, before they entered, Benoit stopped Twilight outside and talked with her.

“Alright, so try and act casual, y’know? It seems I’m the only one around that sees you as a horse, so try and act human, okay?”

“Of course, I learned a little bit since the last time I was here.”

“Great. Also,” He continued, “Be careful around my son, alright? His name is Daniel, he’s only seven, and he’s a little shy, but he’s real friendly once you get to know him.”

“Yes, sir.”

Chris gave a bit of a laugh at this official affirmation. “Other than that, just try and be a good guest. Oh, and welcome to my home!” He then advanced and opened the door to a rather perturbed yet beautiful and blonde Nancy Benoit standing in the doorway.

“Uh oh.” Chris Benoit said as he started to get wet with nervous sweat. “Uh, hi honey!”

Nancy’s cheeks rose to form a smile but one of her eyebrows stayed high and she shook her head. She then leaned in and gave Chris a pleasant smooch on the cheek. “Welcome back home. We thought you’d never get here.”

When she stepped back from her kiss she then spotted the purple unicorn princess next to Chris Benoit and covered her mouth as she burst out with a giggle. “Hehe, I think one of the neighbors’ horses followed you.”

Twilight then came into the light of the doorway aside Benoit and looked up at the black haired beauty. “Actually, my name is Twilight Sparkle.”

“Oh good heavens she talks.” Nancy then slapped her head and got the most confused look on her face she could muster.

“Wait, hold up,” Chris said as he held his hands up. “You can see she,” he then pointed at Twilight, “Is a pony?”

“Well, yeah! But she’s purple, she talks, and she’s got wings and a horn. What’s going on, am I being punked or something? Is this some sort of performance art piece?”

Chris then took Nancy in his arms and held her very close. “This is great! Here I was, thinking I was the only one.”

After some minor suffocation, his wife pushed away and began to rub the back of her neck nervously. “Alright, well welcome home I guess. You’re friend going to be staying long?”

“Well, she’s going to head back to her place but I really want to make sure she gets a good meal first. That’s not going to be a problem, is it?”

“Not really, I guess. Well, come on in.” Nancy then stepped out of the way and allowed Chris Benoit and his purple alicorn princess friend from another world/dimension waltz on into his home.

Inside the home was a rather modest yet clean family setting that was quite unfamiliar to Twilight. Perhaps the most distinguishing features of this room, though, were a large flat screen set atop a shelf before a nearly as large couch. Though she wished to learn more of this, she was ushered into the modest dining room by one Nancy Benoit.

In the dining room, Chris sat at the head of a rather bare wooden table that could seat eight people comfortably. Twilight, meanwhile, was a tad confused as to her placement. Before Twilight could ask for some modicum of accommodation for her as a guest at dinner, Nancy went in the kitchen.

Chris noticed Twilight standing absent-mindedly and suddenly stood up. “Sorry about that, whenever someone stops by they usually just take a spot anywhere. But being you’re, you know, I guess you can go ahead and pull out a chair from one of the spots. You can eat at the table, right?”

Twilight took the chair at the foot of the table and set it aside against a wall and found that she could manage to get her mouth up on the table if needed. “Yeah, this looks like it’ll be alright.”

A few moments of awkward silence hung in the room which was then broken by the arrival of Nancy who entered with a large pot, which caused her husband to exclaim. “Oh good, soups on!”

“I’d have to say literally,” Nancy said as she set two places at the table with bowls and a spoon and placed a third bowl on the floor. “I made sure to make a hearty veggie soup for my loving husband. I hope that’s okay with you, um,” She then gestured to their rather unusual guest as she ladled out the soup.

“Twilight Sparkle, and it sounds great!” Twilight waited until her bowl was properly served and she used her magic to lift it up and place it at her spot. She could sympathize with Nancy’s confusion as to proper dinner etiquette with a horse.

“Oh, um, wow!” Nancy said followed by a nervous chuckle. She then sat at the table next to her husband and turned to him. “Chris, honey, have you been dipping into the hard sauce again? Because I think I’m getting drunk just off of being around you right now.”

Just as Chris was about to dig in, he then set the spoon aside and dry swallowed at this rather sly insult. “Of course not! I mean, I understand it’s freaky with this pony but she’s real. Trust me. Besides, you know I don’t drink a lot lately.”

“Chris, that’s the problem. I don’t know. You’re away from home so much lately, and I don’t know what’s going on. I trust you, but I miss you.”

Chris thought on this for a bit and then placed his hand over his wife’s and gave it a firm grasp. “Nancy, I love you. I guess I got caught up in the craziness lately what with Twilight here and training her and finding out what’s been going on with everybody that I forgot that you’re a great woman, and I’m lucky to have you.”

Nancy looked into Benoit’s eyes and nearly broke down to tears. She embraced her husband of eight years and smothered him in kisses before she held him as close as she could, awkward as it may have been what with the table in the way.

“Please, spend more time with me. With your son. We miss you.”

Chris looked from his dear wife to Twilight and then back to his wife. It didn’t take much thought from him to come up with his decision. “I will. I promise I will. From now on, I’ll try and spend as much time as I can. But you know I can’t be here all the time.”

“I understand that, Chris. It’s the kind of commitment I made when I married someone in the business. I just want to know that when you can, you will spend time with your family.”

“And I will, honey. From now on out.”

Nancy wiped the tears from her eyes with a finger and Chris bit his lip to stifle the emotions welling up in himself. Though this brief conflict was handled, the air was still perfumed with feelings of the unresolved. That, and steamed broccoli.

After some time had passed and the two had returned to a neutral position in their seats, quietly eating soup, Twilight came out and said “You know, it’s usually a bad idea to eat soup when sad.”

And with this, the two Benoit and Twilight all joined in a hearty laugh.