It was the wonderful day at the arena where the show was to occur, but the week before it was decided that the doors would open briefly so that the wrestlers would have the chance to meet and talk with their fans. Everybody seemed to have fun, even one Twilight Sparkle. For a pony with no fingers, her handwriting was impeccable, and she genuinely began to enjoy signing autographs on pictures and magazines that fan after fan held out for her, each fan not seemingly noticing her equine nature.

Indeed, the majority of the cast of both Smackdown and Raw rosters were gathered on this fine afternoon and everything was going perfectly. The only thing missing in particular was that one wrestler was not present, but that was all very fine and dandy as every superstar who knew him were rather relieved he was not there.

Yet still, even though most of the wrestlers showed up, and even Gregory Helms managed to keep Twilight some company by having his booth set up next to hers, she still missed the presence of her friend Chris Benoit. How was he? What was he doing right now? She hoped greatly that he was enjoying himself with his family. But with the growing line of fans wanting to get their merch autographed, Twilight found herself too preoccupied for daydreaming.

“Yo, Twilight, how come you got such a bigger line than mine? I mean, the site says you got literally no fans.”

“I have no clue. Teddy burst into my room a while ago and gave me a lecture about it, but really nothing seems to be wrong. I suspect the ‘site’ is run by liars.”

“Damn, and here I was thinking I’d get a fair shake. You know, I don’t mean any hate but I’m just really pissed about how I’ve been in wrestling since the 90’s and yet you come in and it’s like ‘Boom! He’s the hottest thing since the Hurricane.’ Come on, that’s real stupid, man.”

“Trust me, I don’t like all this as much as you’d think. I had a bad time with this one pony who wanted all the glory and it really put things in perspective.”

“Again with this pony junk. Man, we already had this crazy guy in wrestling once and he was called the Ultimate Warrior. And no offense, but you ain’t no Warrior, man.”

“Fair enough.”

This conversation, along with many others, was interrupted by the sudden surprise appearance of a very angry, very drunk, and very bald man.

“Stone Cold Steve Austin in the house, ladies!” Shouted the Texas Rattlesnake, as he marched his way towards the booth of Montel Vontavious Porter with a six pack of Budweiser in one hand and shoved crowds of children and men aside with the other .

“What’s up, Austin? Looking for an autograph?”

“Get outta my booth you son of a bitch!” Stone Cold then laid a hard right fist right into the chin of MVP and knocked him flat on his rear end. He then went to the other side of the booth and let out a loud burp and opened up each of the cans of beers he had and just started pouring them in a volumetric cone towards his mouth. Most of it just splashed against his face, though.

“Ah crap, here’s Austin. Man, this is garbage!” Helms exclaimed to Twilight in exasperation.

After finishing his beverage of choice, Austin chucked the empty cans at a little old lady wearing a Hulkamania shirt and knocked her out. MVP, meanwhile, just slithered on out of the area as he did not want to be anywhere around the powder keg that was the liquored up Texan.

“Jeez, shouldn’t somebody stop him?” Twilight mused to Gregory.

Austin then noticed this remark briefly and waltzed up to the two. “Oh, I’m sorry, am I interrupting your gossiping, ladies?”

Twilight took a more stern stance and braced herself for a fight. “Well, actually I’d like to say-”

“What?”

“As I was saying-”

“What!?”

“Please stop this-”

“WHAT?”

“G’ah!” Twilight gave up on trying to explain herself.

Austin, meanwhile, was all too amused by this and started laughing harshly. “Ha ha ha! What? The workhorse of the WWE can’t talk? What are you, stupid? Stupid like a horse?”

“As a pony I take offense to that.”

“As a pony you should shut the hell up!”

Twilight gave up, there was simply no reasoning with this buffoon. But that didn’t dissuade said buffoon.

“You know,” He continued. “I can see why people would be into you. Some people don’t drink enough to see through your bullcrap! Hell, the only one more full of crap than you is that Canadian you hang around.”

“Oh, soory, you mean me?” And then everyone in the room turned around to see that none other than the Canadian Crippler Chris Benoit in full wrestling attire entered the room with the light from outside splashed across his back in almost angelic imagery, while also casting Stone Cold Steve Austin into the dark of his shadow.

“Back off, Benoit, this isn’t about you!”

“Really? Well, I guess I’ll just turn around and head out the door.”

“Damn straight you will!”

“But then that would mean the only other guys you’re talking about would be Edge, Christian, Triple H, and I’m sure I could give Abdullah The Butcher a call. But let’s face it, nobody wants to see Abdullah here, right?”

“Shut up, smartass!” Stone Cold yelled out as he started stomping his way at Benoit.

“No, you shut up! I’ve had it up to here with you, Stone Cold!” Benoit said, doing much of the same.

At that point in time it seemed as though everything seemed to revolve around these two superstars as they faced off against each other in that crowded area as the fans and fellow formed a circle around the two. They stared daggers at each other, yet the gaze of one was from unmitigated drunken fury and the other was of moral disdain. Though the tension was high, the words shared between the wrestlers after the initial outbursts were little but whispers.

“You’re dead, Benoit.”

“Bring it, Austin.”

Just then a small band of security guards came, two of them ushering Benoit out of the building while the rest focus primarily on keeping a thrashing and flailing Austin from going totally out of control. After Benoit left the remaining two guards forced all the guests out of the building and the wrestlers. Twilight Sparkle, meanwhile joined the leaving droves of disappointed fans to meet up with Chris Benoit outside, who was shaking hands with said disappointed fans in a consolation to a failed signing event.

“Hey Chris!” Twilight called out as she went to his side.

“Heh, hey there Twilight. Soory about how I acted back there, it was a little brash.”

“Honestly, I can’t blame you. He’s a bit on the rough side himself.”

“I get that. But I really lost my cool in there, and that could’ve gotten nasty because of it. I knew I should’ve just backed off or tried to calm him down, but instead I challenged him and now this whole event thing is ruined.”

“It’s alright Chris, we can always have another one. It’s important that nobody was hurt during this one, though. So don’t beat yourself up over it.”

Eventually everyone went back to their cars and tents to better prepare for the event seeing as the festivities were pretty much officially over. Chris Benoit looked upon these crowds moving away and sighed in acceptance. “Yeah, alright.”

A thought then manifested itself suddenly in Twilight’s mind. “By the way, why are you here?”

“Oh!” Chris snapped out of his drudgery and focused his attention back at Twilight with a smile on his face. “That’s right! I came here to tell you that Daniel is only having a half day at school in a few days, so I think that would be a great time for you to meet up with all of us for once!”

“That sounds great! I’ll make sure to show up. When, specifically, should I show up?”

“About next week, on June 26. I’ll make sure we’re all ready for you. Hah, just wait until my son gets a look at you!”

Twilight let out a giggle at the thought of this but soon recognized the potential outcome of this. “Sounds like it’ll be great, but like you warned me, I’ll try and be careful.”

“I’m sure you will. We’ll have ourselves a great time.”

Author's Note

I'm vaguely certain there was a real skit where Austin knocks out an old hulkamaniac with a bunch of empty beer cans. I mean, they had Shawn Michaels deliver Sweet Chin Music to a little girl once while he was out of work.