Chapter 31: Na-na-na-na. . .

Twilight Sparkle had some difficulty in making her way to the home on one Chris Benoit because as she couldn’t control the teleportation on her bedroom, but with some effort and one plane ride later she was finally in a cab heading straight for his home. Her first visit was somewhat enjoyable, though the reaction from his wife was different than expected, but Twilight found that the more she left the stadium that she lived at the more weird looks she would receive from people as though the world finally caught up to her not necessarily fitting in.

Perhaps most unusual of all was that the cab driver was most accommodating of this.

“You know, usually I charge extra for anyone who’s really, y’know, large. But considering I don’t always get the chance to drive a purple horse around, you’re worth the exception.” The man said from the cordoned off front seat of the vehicle.

“Thanks again for that, I mean I’d be willing to pay.”

“Nah, don’t mention it! Although I guess it makes sense you going here, on account of all the horse farms and whatnot.”

Twilight could only help but smile at this. “Well, I’m not exactly visiting those places. I’m just going to visit a friend.”

“A friend? That wouldn’t happen to be Mister Ed, would it? I loved that show!”

“Mister who, now?”

“Ah, sorry about that. I guess I made the assumption all you talking horses know each other.”

“Well, if there are any that talk then I’d be glad to speak to them about something. But this is the first I’ve heard about it.”

“I hear you, I hear you. By the way, we still got a bit of a ride left, so if you wanna check out the magazines I got back there then feel free, just don’t mess them up, alright?”

Twilight nodded and looked into a pouch hidden behind the seat. Sure enough, there were several publications behind it, hardly suitable reading material but enough to occupy her time. As luck would have it, though, after passing up an issue of Vanity Fair and a copy of IGN Monthly, Twilight found herself a fairly recent copy of some sort of professional wrestling themed magazine featuring some Diva on the cover.

It was filled with what she expected from such trashy material, but what did catch her eye was an interview with Vince McMahon. In it, she read that apparently Vince, her boss, was getting caught up with the surge in wrestlers wanting a piece of none other than herself, something she was not too fond of.

“We need to push the entire cast of Katawa Shoujo for Summerslam!” She read to herself, wondering what in the world this means but knowing that hopefully Teddy Long would dissuade Vince from this. She had no idea what a Katawa Shoujo was, but she sure didn’t like the sounds of it. She also didn’t like the other names being thrown out either; DMX, Ultimate Warrior, Shadow Jago, Tom Clancy, The Tick, Fritz the Cat, and Kazuma Kiryu.

Apparently one of the most upsetting suggestions from Vince McMahon was a woman named Marie Curie, as the interviewer asked “Sir, she’s been dead for, like, eighty years. I don’t think she can wrestle.”

“Sure she can!” She read his response. “You ever see Weekend At Burnie’s? We’ll just do that!”

Twilight hoped very much that Vince would have enough respect for those who have fallen in their own time not to force them to wrestle her. She didn’t know what this Weekend At Burnie’s was, but she knew it was dark magic.

“Alright horsey, here’s your stop.” Said the cab driver just before he slammed on the brakes causing Twilight to fall to the floor of the back seat area. After recovering from her fall, Twilight lifted her head up to see that she was near enough to the Benoit house, but still about a mile away from it.

“Um, this isn’t where I wanted to be dropped off.”

“Yeah yeah yeah, a lot of people say that. Now get out.”

“Come on, it’s only a little bit more. Please?”

“Horse, do I look like someone who cares about that? Trick question, no. I’m a cab driver, now get out of my cab!”

Twilight left the ugly yellow vehicle and was left stranded on the side of the road. Still, at least she was only a mile away. Although she sure would have to give Benoit a stern look for recommending taking a cab, given the driver’s sudden rude service. But such was in the past, and she did not deliberate on the subject any longer and headed down the lone road.

It was the most boring mile that she had ever walked, and reminded her all the more that she really needed to begin using her wings more casually if this was going to be a common occurrence. Twilight was soon snapped out of her regretful decision making as she plodded along by a bustling commotion and flashing of blue and red lights up ahead. Up ahead at the Benoit house.

Twilight galloped ahead to see what was going on, and grew intimidated as she approached to see the section of the horse cordoned off by yellow tape and a crowd of people, most of which she knew by now to be reporters, all shoving each other just barely over the makeshift line as men dressed in dark blue uniforms attempted to keep the crowd back. She saw one patch that was relatively unattended and came closer to it, only to be stopped from entering as one of the men in blue stood before her yet behind the yellow line.

“Shoo, shoo horsey! Go on, get out of here!” The man said, waving his hands at Twilight.

“Damnit Hererra, what the hell are you doing?” Shouted another man in a chastising manner.

“Sorry, this stupid horse was about to enter the scene!” The man continued to wave his hands and try and shoo her away. “Go on, there’s no salt licks or whatever here.”

“Sir, I can talk.”

The man predictably let his jaw drop at the utter fascination of this.

“This is the part where you go ‘Oh dear heavens, it can talk,’ right?”

The man breathed silently to himself the very words Twilight assumed he would say and did his best to remain calm despite the clear violations of natural laws that this situation presented.

“Alright, so, uh, what is it you want, Miss Horse?”

“My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I’m a friend of someone who lives here. Can you tell me what’s going on?”

“Welp,” The man clapped his hands together and smacked his lips in resignation. “I suppose nobody’s going to believe a talking horse, so I’m going to be honest. We’re the police, we solve crimes and basically do all the good guy stuff. You understand that, right?”

Twilight nodded in response.

“Okay, so we’re here because somebody asked us to do a check up on the guy at the house to make sure he’s okay.”

“This ‘guy’ wouldn’t happen to be named Chris Benoit, would he?” Twilight felt herself tense up at the prospect of this.

“That’s right, actually.” As the police officer scratched at his head, Twilight felt herself worry further. “Anyways, long story short is that he isn’t okay.”

Like that, Twilight felt her heart skip a beat. “What do you mean he isn’t okay? What happened!”

The cop waved his hands down. “Settle down, alright. Getting pissed won’t help anything. Did you know Mister Benoit?”

Twilight managed to restrain herself, but remained worried. “Yes, I’m his friend. Please, tell me, what happened?”

“Well,” The officer waved his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry to tell you this, but we found the bodies of what we believe to be Mister Benoit, a woman, and a boy. They’re,” the officer paused briefly as the words he said had some impact even on him. “They’re dead.”

Twilight felt a shudder wash over her whole body as she heard this. She managed to fight back tears, more easily than she would have imagined. She had no reason to doubt the officer, but still she wanted to doubt that what he said was true. However she wished, still she came to accept the idea that one of her best friends in this new world was gone.

“This isn’t right. Who did this?”

“I’m sorry, we don’t know. I don’t know much, I only just got here a few hours ago, but I’m sure they’ll probably publish the details in some magazine. The guy was pretty famous, he was in some sports or something.”

This only furthered Twilight’s distraught feelings over the whole ordeal, as she felt as though her friend, even in death, had been disrespected some way.

“Hey,” The officer placed his hand on Twilight’s frontmost shoulder. “I know what you’re going through, we all lose someone in our life. I might not understand specifically, but I can tell you it’s going to be hard from now on. You may be a horse, but I’m sure even you got feelings, and I’m telling you now that you don’t have to bottle it all up. When you’re ready to cry, go ahead. But whoever this Benoit guy was, I’m sure he’d want you to get on with your life as soon as possible, so don’t hesitate to grieve.”

These words offered Twilight some kindness, and though she was still mostly shocked over the incident she made a mental note of what the man said.

“Now go on home, wherever the home of talking horses is.”

Seeing that it looked like the professionals of this world had the situation under control, Twilight agreed with the officer’s well placed, albeit rude, statement. She turned away and plodded along with her head held low.

Author's Note

As of now, I don't think I'm going to put in any more Create-a-Wrestler chapters.

Man, Benoit . . . I hope nobody starts singing Kiss Him Goodbye by Steam.