The trip through the portal was over in but a few seconds, and soon enough Twilight plopped right onto the floor of a turret in the grand Canterlot castle. The portal, as always, seemed to disappear before she could look back on it, but Twilight swiftly decided not to focus too much on it. After all, she had spent way too much time away from home and while she had made a few friends, she still had things to do.

Speaking of which, upon looking around the room, Twilight saw the machines accompanied by a mountain of what looked to be the same book-case things that Luna had brought over. Knowing firmly that this would only leave room for further trouble, and probably a great deal of fun misadventures, she blasted the entire collection to smithereens until it was beyond repair. After she had finished, Twilight heard a commotion outside the tower and looked outside to behold a spectacle that required her intervention. And so Twilight leapt from the window and began to glide to finish what should’ve been finished a long time ago.

“Attention everypony!” The commandant of the Royal Canterlot Guard, Shining Armor, stood atop a stage and silenced the gossiping crowd before him. “Thank you for being here today, Princess Celestia would like to say something about the continued disappearance of Twilight Sparkle.” He then stepped aside and assumed a stance almost off of the stage as Celestia appeared front and center.

“Hello my dear ponies, I am glad to see such a crowd gathered here today. As many of you should know, Twilight Sparkle has been missing for some time now and there is a growing concern that something nefarious may be ahoof. I would like to request that every one of us finds it in our hearts to find a dear friend of Equestria and if anypony has any information on her possible whereabouts, we will listen with open ears.”

Princess Celestia stepped aside from the center of the stage and Shining Armor took her position. “We hope that information on Twily, I mean, Twilight Sparkle will come with great haste. Also, while we have your attention, Princess Luna would like to have a word.” He then returned to his station as the proud princess of the night assumed a stern pose in the midst of the stage.

“Salutations my citizens, we understand that some grieving has been undertaken yet that does not excuse the sloth that has befallen many. We will not stand for any absence or failure to stand proud in the face of defeat.” As should be expected, many of the ponies engaged in confused chatter about what Luna was going on about.

“Art thou being honest with thine incomprehension? Very well then, allow us to elaborate. Not a single pony here has the sheer finesse nor ability to combat me in SVR2008! Not a one! Thou art the scrubbiest of scrubs! And once I figure out how to pin, I shall be undefeatable!”

Celestia swiftly ran to her sister and pulled her aside. “Luna, what are you talking about? This isn’t the time to go on about this.”

“Sister, I assure you, this is the best time to speak on the subject, otherwise how will I keep our perfect ratio of losses to wins?”

“Ratio? Luna, I sent you to the moon once! I’d think that counts as a loss. Please, let’s just go home and you can have a moon pie all to yourself, okay?”

“We shall stand before this audience and call out these so called ‘Marks’ and we shall receive a moon pie later as well. Thou may leave when thine wishes.”

Celestia just shook her head in disappointment. A thousand years on the moon and Luna will still always be the little sister she knew. Still, if only for appearances sake, Celestia went over to the corner where she was out of the way and Luna cleared her throat before going on to speak again.

But before Luna could go on another rant about how everybody was too chicken to 1v1 her mad elite skillz, she was tackled by the flying champion of the WWE, Twilight Sparkle!

“Twilight!” Shouted everyone in the crowd and on stage, except for Princess Luna who was busy being grappled by Twilight.

Shining Armor was about to break the two up, but Princess Celestia stepped between him and the wrastlin’ alicorns and gave him a disapproving look. “I can handle this.” She then turned to the crowd and waved a hoof. “Ladies and Gentlecolts, it seems we have a real match on our hooves! I will declare this match official as of this moment! This will be the greatest contest of wills Canterlot will ever see!”

Luna struggled, pathetically, but her body was sluggish with a lunch of crayons and glue couldn’t stand to test against Twilight’s mad-rad wrestle-katas! No sooner had the match been officiated had Twilight taken the chance to seize the opportunity to show off her newly learned skills from the WWE.

Twilight mounted Luna, not unlike how one would do with a horse, and she hiked Luna’s forelegs onto her own rear knees. Luna couldn’t escape from such a complex hold, and so Twilight took the advantage and grasped her two front hooves together under Luna’s chin and pulled back, delivering a sickening chokehold from the rear!

“Would you look at that, it seems Twilight has the Princess of the Night in a hold! Twilight is riding Luna like a camel while clutching her neck! It’s like a Camel Clutch or something! Luna, you have to tap out! Just start tapping Twilight’s thigh, you can do it!”

Luna couldn’t take much more of this punishment, and so she followed her sister’s instructions right away. Meanwhile, Princess Celestia was busy looking in a totally opposite direction.

“Wow, would you look at that? I think that is a butterfly over there. I am just so captivated by that butterfly that I don’t think I’ll be able to look back on what’s going on in this match for a full five minutes. Woo hoo, look at that butter fly!” While most ponies were distracted by the ongoing onslaught in the makeshift arena, the few curious crowdgoers looked to the same direction as Celestia and saw absolutely no dairy-based insects of the sort.

While after the match, everything went pretty much back to normal, that day marked the incident colloquially known as the Canterlot Screwjob, an event that will go down in history as one of the most hotly contested topics of discussion in Equestrian politics. One of the most prevailing ideas regarding the Canterlot Screwjob was that it came as a direct result of Twilight Sparkle’s disappearance and the whole event was planned beforehand and constructed by a team of crack writers. The ponies who believe that are fools because, as we all know, everything in wrestling isn’t fake.

The End.

Author's Note

Carry on in peace, Benoit. May there be many an angel to be put in the crossface.