Twilight never quite learned to think with portals, which isn’t that surprising given that portals are never much interest in Equestria despite having immense possibilities. There was that one portal in Canterlot that led to a realm where everypony was in high-school and humans, there was that one in Stalliongrad which led to a pure green room that constantly played boy band music and thus became the number one torture method in Equestria, and then there was that one portal that led from Laugh Riot’s living room to Laugh Riot’s basement.

And it’s because of this that Twilight ended up face-first on the concrete floor of some strange room. She quickly regained conscious and looked around her surroundings.

“Where in the world am I?”

She saw on the ground scattered garments bearing a chickenscratch “W” on them, a plank of wood spanning across one of the walls that served as a table and had on it a cellular phone and on a steel chair before the workbench was an opened laptop both of which were quite alien to Twilight, and a large number of boxes and crates that appeared to be recently introduced to the area. Against the wall above the table was a calendar with several dates already crossed out but what she could gather was that the month was March and the year was 2007. Twilight already has a rather fractured past with time travel that ended up with an ontological paradox and a bad hairdo, so none of this particularly bodes well with her at that moment.

Luckily there appeared to be a door against a bare wall in the room, which meant escape. Twilight was in no hurry to stay and so she walked over to it, when a eery beeping noise ruined her concentration and forced her to hide behind a box.

“Hello?” She called out. “Is anypony there?”

The beeping repeated and repeated again at regular intervals, and when Twilight peered out from behind her fortress of cardboard she found it emanated from the cell phone laying on the makeshift workbench. She picked it up with her magic but kept it at a decent distance away and pressed the green button on it. On the miniscule screen appeared a message that stated From Long to Twilight Sparkle with a red exclamation point. Another press of the green button then showed a picture of some bald man wearing dorky glasses in the corner of the screen with a page of text.

“Playa, welcome to Smackdown!” It read.

“So here’s my offer to you: Go through a few matches on HEAT to let us check you out. Then we’ll decide on your final salary.

Sorry about your temporary Locker Room, but I expect a lot out of you, so you won’t be parked there long.

Let me know if you accept and we’ll get that preseason ball rolling!

Best,

Teddy”

It wasn’t exactly as eloquent as she has become accustomed to in her currently brief tenure as a princess, but she got that she clearly didn’t want any part of this.

She pressed the green button again and she was then presented with two options: Accept Smackdown’s Offer or don’t even reply to it.

“Do not reply.” She ordered to the phone. This didn’t do jack, so that when she pressed the green button on the phone again she accepted.

With that done and out of the way, Twilight set the phone aside and trotted up to the door and opened it up. She was immediately met with a man wearing shades and a goofy looking white suit.

“Yo playa, what up? Glad to see you accepted the offer, you gonna give us a good show on Friday, amiright?”

Twilight backed away slowly. Two arms, two legs, a round head, clothes? In her mind this strange creature surely was something of great evil.

“I’m sorry, I think you have the wrong person. I’m Twilight Sparkle, who are you?”

“Who am I? Aw baby, that’s harsh! I’m Teddy Long, general manager of Smackdown. And if you do real good for the next few weeks then face or heel I’ll be managing you. You follow?”

“Face? Heel? I’m sorry, I didn’t apply for this Smackdown thing you’re talking about. I don’t even know what that is.”

“Playa, you don’t know about Smackdown? Well lemme give you a refresher course. Smackdown is the single greatest sports entertainment entity to exist all across the world, and you have the chance to be a part of it.”

“That’s, um, flattering Mister Long, but I don’t think I’m cut out for this.”

“I hear ya, you’re getting cold feet. But I feel you playa, I just know you can do this. How about we take a tour of the facilities, meet some of the other stars who showed up early, and talk about this a little more to help settle everything. Come on.”

Long left the decision to Twilight, and while she must be getting home right now it probably wouldn’t hurt to take a look around after all. And so she followed him out the door and into the corridors of the stadium.

Author's Note

Much of the dialogue in the form of text messages and phones calls will be as faithfully adapted from the Smackdown route of the 24/7 Mode of Smackdown Vs. Raw 2008. All of the dialogue portrayed by characters interacting will be as faithfully stereotyped as I could try.