Author's Note

The first half of this chapter may be skipped if you already know about the basics of professional wrestling. The rest explains why there is always a sledgehammer under literally every wrestling ring. Special appearance by Triple H.

Chapter 7: A Very Benoit Training

Twilight and Benoit gathered in the center of a wrestling ring in a grand auditorium with the only true spectators being the empty seats that surrounded them. Twilight was a bit wary of the canvas mat that they both stood on, but it appeared to be relatively stable enough for slamming and or jamming.

“Alright, so let’s learn you some of the basics. The goal of professional wrestling for the majority of scenarios is to either pin your opponent or get them to submit. You pin a person by keeping their shoulders to the mat of the ring for a three count as prescribed by the referee. Your opponent can submit by tapping out or essentially giving up, usually because of a very painful maneuver that is inflicted on them that they can’t escape. In both these situations, you should try and do it in the center of the ring as much as possible and away from the ropes, because if they touch them then you gotta release them. Got it?”

“Got it.”

Chris Benoit nodded with a sense of appreciation as an instructor. “Good, and however you achieve your victory is up to you.”

“Thanks. This actually sounds sort of easy. I mean, how hard can it be to pin or submit someone?”

“It’s harder than you’d think. You would not believe how many times a guy can get powerbombed through a table covered in barbed wire before he’d be willing to let himself lose. That’s why you gotta be able to take your opponent down with all sorts of really creative moves. I’ll teach you one that’ll be super effective. It’s called the German Suplex.”

“Alright, I”m listening.”

“So what you wanna do is get behind your opponent and grab them by the waist. Then you lift them up, fall backwards, and slam them onto the mat. This way, they might be stunned long enough for you to pin them at the same time.”

“And that’s it?”

“That’s it. You’ll have to tire them out first, but it’s a huge game changer. Silent but violent, that’s the power of the German Suplex.”

“Sounds really effective.”

“Another move that’ll be key to victory is the Irish Whip. Now, you’ve got four legs so this might be a problem though. The Irish Whip is when you grab a guy by the arm and throw a him into the ropes or into the turnbuckle.” Benoit went over to one of the corners of the rings where the ropes from two sides connected. “From the turnbuckle you can get a huge payoff by doing moves you can’t do anywhere else in the ring, I’m talking high risk maneuvers that can make or break a wrestler. Just make sure they make you and break the other guy.”

“Thanks Benoit, this was a great help. I think I got a good grip on this.”

“Not a problem. They’ll be setting you up against a few jobbers anyways so you’ll have time to practice both in and out of the ring for the next few weeks.”

“I thought I was going against wrestlers?”

“Oh, a jobber is basically a lame wrestler. You know, like MVP. So there shouldn’t be a huge problem.”

“Okay, got it. Also, what’s a face and a heel? Everybody’s been saying things like that around here and I don’t think they’re talking about heads and ankles.”

“A face is short for babyface, which means a wrestler who’s earned the appreciation of the crowd. They fight clean and they win clean. Heels are your typical bad guys, and they lie, cheat, and steal to try and win a match.”

“Sounds simple enough, bad guys versus good guys. And for my last question, who is that next to the ring?” Twilight pointed with a hoof to some guy with tendrils of hair pouring forth from his head who appeared to be fiddling with something next to the ring.

Chris Benoit turned around and crossed his arms disapprovingly, as though the man disturbing this little practice were some child. “Hey Helmsley, what’re you up to?”

Triple H practically jumped at this and looked back up. “Oh uh, you know. Admiring the stage.”

“You’re not even supposed to show up this week. Come on friend, what’s the deal?”

Triple H just kicked some leftover sticky popcorn on the floor and held his hands behind his back. “I dunno.”

“Triple H, you’re not setting up a trap for Vince McMahon again, are you? Remember what happened last time and everybody couldn’t look at Chyna the same way again?”

“No no no!” Hunter Hearst Helmsley protested. “I was just, y’know, putting sledgehammers under the ring.”

At first, Chris Benoit looked at Twilight and saw a face that was as equally as confused as his, if not more so given that she was a pony. As such, he accepted that what he heard was indeed true and decided to follow up. “Why are you hiding sledgehammers under the ring?”

“Don’t judge me, okay? Some wrestlers do drugs, some have anger issues, some beat their wives, I sneak hammers under wrestling rings. Besides, what are you doing here?” Triple H held up an accusatory finger at the Canadian and his pony compatriot. “Trying to sneak attack some of the new blood?”

“Actually,” Twilight interjected “We’re just training.”

“Well ain’t that peachy keen?” Triple H said in as sarcastic a manner he could, which just came out as some disgruntled yelling grumble. “Feel free to use any of the weapons I stashed under the ring, just make sure you do it when the ref’s not looking or else you’ll get DQ’d!”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Twilight said, although she clearly hadn’t the intentions to use a weapon. “Thanks for the help.”

Triple H just skulked off towards the backstage as Twilight and Benoit watched him go away.

“So who was that?”

“That there, Twilight, is one of the more influential men in the WWE, and if everything with Steph and him is true he may be running the company in the place of McMahon. A legend they call him, and he’s earned that right several times over. He may be full of it, but if you look between the lines you can find kernels of wisdom founded upon years of experience. So try not to let him get to you.”

Twilight nodded at this and they both squared off.

“Alright, now let’s see what you learned.”