Where's Faust When I'm S-Scared?

   A simple white background, two mares are about to start the show:

"Ok Pinkie! It's time for the theme song!"

"Okie Dokie Twilight, uh what do I do?"

"Hmm let's see, I know you play the guitar!"

"Twi, I don't know how to play that."

"Oh you're right. Well ok, how about this?"

"I don't want to play that! I'll look stupid!"

"Oh come on! It'll be fun!"

"Nope, not gonna do it!"

"It's for the fillies."

"Oh ok, but they better not think of me differently!"

"Alright, better go on out there!"

    A pink mare looks at the camera, gives a small grin, then hops to the middle of the screen and blows into her sousaphone at a steady beat.  Then twilight starts to sing:

If you like to talk to alicorns,

if a mule can get to smile.

If you like to fly with Pegasi,

if that is your kind of style!

"Have we got a show for you!"

                     Twilight gives a big toothy grin to the camera, then a chorus of nowhere to be seen ponies sing:

PonyTa-a-ails!

PonyTa-a-ails!

PonyTa-a-ails!

PonyTa-a-ails!

PonyTa-a-ails!

PonyTa-a-ails!

PonyTa-a-ails!

Po-nyTails!

Oats and hay, work all day, then we play, PonyTails!

Changeling queen, Gilda's mean, pinkie keen, PonyTails!

Ursa minor, pony power, half an hour, PonyTails!

There's never, ever, ever, ever, ever, been a show like PonyTails!

There's never, ever, ever, ever, ever, been a show like PonyTails!

It's time for PonyTa-a-a-a-a-a-a-ails!

Pinkie falls over from exhaustion and gives one last blow through the Sousaphone, flowers come out of it, everypony laughs, and now the show begins.

We now open in a bedroom with two mares looking at the camera and then twilight says:

"Hi fillies, and welcome to PonyTails! I'm twilight the unicorn."

"And I'm Pinkie the earth pony!"

"And we're here to answer your questions." Twilight said.

"That's right!" said Pinkie.

Twilight then walks over to a desk with a letter and says:

Now today we got a letter from Lotus Blossom from Phoenix, Air Zone who writes:

Dear Twilight and Pinkie,

I am six years old. And sometimes I think there are monsters in my closet.

That makes me really scared! Can you help me?

"Ooh! I remember once I thought there were monsters in my closet!" said Pinkie.

"Yeah, well, what happened pinkie?" asked twilight.

"Well, it turns out they weren't really monsters at all. Just my fluffy bunny slippers. And they're not so scary, just kind of squishy."

"Oh, I see. Well Lotus Blossom, first check to see if it's just your slippers. And look at this story of how Scootaloo the Pegasus filly got a little bit scared."