New Dawn

The afternoon sun reached the peak of it's journey, finally able to send it's vengeful rays out on a quest to seek out those who dared sleep this late. Today those rays found the window of a familiar library. Oh how they enjoyed torturing the lavender mare who lived in it's confines. Today however they found something new. A creature reeking of alcohol and vomit. He lay contentedly snoring in the guest room, blissfully unaware of the vengeful rays aiming straight at his eyes. Those lids would offer no protection from there hate this afternoon, they would have their vengeance against this poor unsuspecting blasphemer. No one was allowed to miss the glorious hours of morning without incurring the wrath these rays now aimed at him.

Striking true they bathed his face in their hate and relished in the loud pained groan that was pulled from him. By the bloody moon, why? It's to early for this much pain. For the love of  all that is holy, someone please rescue me from this pain. The morning blasphemer pulled the covers over his head, shielding himself from the hate of the midday sun. Mm, these smell like lavender. Wait I don't use...SHIT! This is not good. What happened last night-

The sound of a door opening and the voice that called out effectively destroying any form of thought he had. “Good afternoon. I'm glad to see you aren't dead.”

“MMMF” The poor sufferer murmured into the covers he had cocooned himself in to avoid the wrath of the sun.

He heard a girly giggle before his mysterious benefactor responded. “Well it's your fault your in so much pain. I am amazed you're even alive. The amount of alcohol in your body was more than enough to kill a creature twice your size and mass. You're lucky you didn't succumb to alcohol poisoning or anything.”

Pulling the covers tighter around himself he attempted to bury his head under the pillow in a vain attempt to block out some of the noise around. “Please lower your voice, every time you allow a syllable free the tympani band currently residing in my skull plays a concert.”

“Sorry, I thought I was being quiet.” The strange benefactor lowered her voice to barely above a whisper. “So can I get you anything?”

“Gatorade please, and a trashcan.”

“Gatorade?”

The guest smirked and winced as it caused a fresh wave of nausea inducing pain. “A drink full of electrolytes to aid in re-hydration. Ha, who hasn't heard of Gatorade before.”

“Aw, a sports drink, I think I have a few. Rainbow likes to leave them here in case she drops by after her training.”

“Thank you, umm I don't think I caught your name.”

“Twilight Sparkle, and your welcome.”

For moment he was silent before he spoke up tentatively. “Excuse me, did you just say Twilight Sparkle?”

He felt the bed shift a little as a weight settle near the edge. “That is what I said. My name is Twilight Sparkle. I am the personal student of Princess Celestia.”

Twilight's guest mimicked her as she finished her sentence. “Haha, very funny. Did my friends put you up to this. I watched one episode, I am not a brony, and in no way identify with them.”

The room was silent for a moment before he felt something poke his side, larger and sharper than a finger and feeling like something he did not want to consider. “Episode? Brony? What are you talking about, are you sure the copious amounts of ethanol you consumed didn't cause any long term mental effects?”

The creature buried under the covers groaned in frustration. “Really, fine we can play it your way. Episode, it's like a chapter but for a play. Brony, a fan of the show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. My friends caught me watching it once and now they won't let me live it down.”

The guest felt the bed shift as the weight moved closer. “Show, like a play? Why would they tease you for that?”

The guest loosened his grip on the pillow and sighed. “Because the show is written and aimed at an audience of young girls. Though the writer wanted to prove that such a show could tailor to young boys as well, hence why it amassed a following of males, though no one expected it to gather so many.”

Squinting Twilight's guest was able to peak out from the sanctuary of his covers at the wall behind the head of the bed he occupied. For a moment he was silent, letting the nausea pass before he attempted to roll over only for the covers to stop him.

The covers shifted as the one claiming to be Twilight Sparkle spoke up. “Are you telling me that the life of Twilight Sparkle is a play meant to entertain little fillies?”

“Yes, all of it is fiction-” The beds occupant stopped short as a purple log passed in front of his face. Small hairs on it tickled his nose forcing him to crinkle it. “Impressive, to go such lengths for a prank, I commend thee.” Crinkling his nose he rolled over and found himself staring into two purple orbs full of concern. “Ummm, nice contacts but could you back...” A hoof passed across his face and he felt something press against his forehead.

The eyes shifted away as the feeling on his forehead vanished. “You don't seem to be running a fever. I can't believe somepony wrote a play about my life but for it to have a cult following.” She jumped off the bed and her guest watched as she walked towards the door and paused. Turning back she smiled. “I'll be right back with that sports drink and something for you to eat. Can I get you anything else?”

Her guest took a deep breath, held it for a moment then opened it and... “AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW”

~ ~ ~

A painful moan caused Twilight to roll her eyes again as she looked at her guest curled up into the corner of the seat shielding his face and ears from the world around him. “Is your hangover really that bad?”

It took a moment for him to roll over but when he did he kept his eyes closed and spoke in a whisper. “Please, not so loud, the sound of the train is more than enough. Also, yes it is that bad. I may be able to drink a lot but I am not resistant to the resulting withdrawal symptoms from consuming ones body weight in alcoholic beverages.” He cracked a bloodshot eye. “Plus I think all the screaming we did earlier may have given me a headache on top of the hangover.” He closed his eyes and huddled back down into the seat with a cranky sigh. “That stupid dragon didn't help much with his girly scream either.”

“HEY!” The aforementioned dragon spoke up angrily. “I do not have a girly scream.”

The hungover passenger winced and growled. “Not so loud you f-”

A purple aura sealed his lips before he finished the sentence. “Language, he's still young and I don't want him running around town using language like that.” The would be bad influence nodded once and she released him.  He glared at her for a moment before looking back to the dragon and sticking his tongue out at him. Twilight smirked at him. “So you never gave me your name, I had to write to Princess Celestia that I had a hungover thing that I think she should meet.”

“Oh, right, you told me yours and I forgot to tell you mine. It's Jerrod.” He smiled and winced as the doors to the compartment slid open with a squeal and a food cart was pushed in.

A maroon mare pushed her cart along the aisle till she reached the only occupants. “MORNING!!” She trilled in a high pitched voice that caused Jerrod to slam back against the wall clutching his head.

He looked up at her with a pained expression and spoke in a hushed tone as he tried not to cry in pain. “For the love of all that's holy. Please, don't speak again, whatever you do, do not open your mouth and subject me to that torturous sound again, I will do anything you ask just please don't speak again.”

The mare frowned at him. “Sorry.” Her ears folded back. “I didn't mean to offend you.”

Twilight waved her hoof dismissively. “I'm sorry, my friend is just cranky because he's still sobering up from last night.”

The mare brightened a little. “Oh, I have the perfect thing for that.” She reached into her cart and pulled out a plate of eggs and a sports drink. “This should help.” She leaned over and placed it on the bench next to Jerrod. “So what are you, I don't think I have ever seen anything like you before on the train. I been all over Equestria and I have never seen anything like you before.”

Jerrod glared up at the mare from the plate of food. “I'm not from here, I come from far far away.”

“Oh, well I hope you enjoy your visit, can I get you anything else.”

Jerrod was silent for a moment before speaking. “Hmm, could you perhaps kill me and end my suffering?”

The mare turned pale and she backpedaled away from Jerrod. “WHAT! I COULD NEVER, HOW COULD YOU EVEN JOKE ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT!”

Jerrod winced back. “FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK...OH GOD WHY AM I SCREAMING...MY HANGOVER!” He clutched his head and started whimpering as he rocked back and forth causing Twilight to titter.

“I'm sorry about that, he's just a little cranky. I think we should be good now.” She smiled and pulled out her bit purse and handed over some bits with a little extra. “Sorry for my friend here again, he's new to Equestria and a little bit cranky. I hope the rest of your day is better.” The mare nodded and trotted off, still a little shaken. Twilight turned back to Jerrod. “Would you like some more painkillers?”

Jerrod nodded slightly and Twilight pulled out two more and placed them next to his eggs and watched as he devoured both in short order. Shortly after she heard his snores start up again and she turned to the window to watch the scenery go by.

~ ~ ~

Many ponies often claim that Canterlot is a normal place. It's the seat of power in Equestria but nothing really strange aside from politics happens there, and would tell you a town like Ponyville has more strange happenings in it than any other town in Equestria. Those ponies would be wrong, though Ponyville is extremely strange because of it's proximity to the Everfree Forest it still has nothing on Canterlot. Canterlot is not only the seat of power of in Equestria but it is also the seat of higher education and almost all research facilities.

Now one might wonder why that means it's stranger than Ponyville but usually you're answered with an explosion or possibly the after effects of some researcher poking at the fabric of reality. Needless to say Canterlot can be very strange, a place full of highly powerful unicorns being taught to harness their power and to follow what ever fancy they dreamed up can have very odd effects. Add to that mix two immortal goddesses with a penchant for tom foolery and well, beyond the antics of the nobles, most ponies in Canterlot are phased by very little.

With that said this day had managed to top things that many drunken college students had done to the locals and might possibly have scared a pony or two. It all started very normal, the train rolled up and the conductor called out the stop and the doors swung open. A few ponies trickled out then a small dragon followed by the fourth Equestrian princess. Then it got weird, a large bipedal creature stumbled out and cursed under his breath as he shielded his eyes from the afternoon sun. This would not have been strange if a very famous DJ had not walked by in her trademark sunglasses.

Everypony's account of the moment is the same at this moment. First the DJ paused and turned to look at the creature and the creature looked down at her. She smiled and opened her mouth and then the creature attacked her and the whole crowd exploded. Now this only marginally accurate, the creature did not in fact attack her, he did lunge towards her but he tripped so he mostly fell into her. He was aiming for her sunglasses but instead ended up head butting her and then wrapping his arms around her as he twisted so he wouldn’t squish her and she wouldn't hurt herself as she fell.

This is the point at which we defer to a very famous earth pony cellist. She was nearby when she saw her best friend and part time lover attacked by a very strange creature and by her count the creature also sexually assaulted her lover on a part time basis. This is when a guard nearby discovered why earth ponies were highly regarded in combat classes and also that an earth pony can in fact excel at jujitsu. He also discovered for a brief moment how it feels to be in free fall unexpectedly, something he hadn't felt for a very a long time but his confusion and fear were short lived as the one he had been sent to escort to the palace was in the path he had been sent along.

All told the five minutes between the creature disembarking from the train and order being restored a lot of damage was caused and a guard discovered that there are some things in this world that have no boundaries and can in fact find the chance to poke things one shouldn't in polite company. A DJ discovered that her part time lover might want to be more and that. She also discovered might have a fetish for fingers and taller beings, preferably with two legs and unique in the world. She also realized she might like her cello playing roommate more than ever, or that might be fear of a mare willing to use a guard pony as an impromptu weapon. The fourth Equestrian Princess discovered that she had far more patience than she previously believed and the crowd at the train station discovered that the world can always surprise you, even if you live in a city devoted to advancing the magical sciences under the influence of copious amounts of alcohol and the knowledge that almost anything you do can be cleaned up by one of two goddesses or if they need to, the newest addition to the goddess family.

Now we move forward to inside the carriage and the center stage for the fiasco as he nurses a new headache and gloats over his new amazing shades. “Well that was rather eventful wouldn't you say Twilight. That mare with the shades was quite friendly.”

Twilight's head was hung low as she rubbed her temples. “You haven't even been here a day. First contact with a new species and this is how you act. Not only did you grope me when I was taking you home but now you have groped two mares and a guard stallion.”

Spike chuckled to himself and patted Twilight's side. “There's no need to be jealous Twilight. I bet if you asked him-” Spike stopped short and shrunk back as he found himself the subject of Twilight's DEFCON two stare.

Twilight took a few deep breathes just how Cadence taught her. Breath in and pull your hoof to your chest, breath out and extend you hoof. She repeated this several times before speaking up. “Spike, lets not rehash what our guest did while I brought him home. Two, I am not jealous, embarrassed yes, but not jealous.” Her stare turned to her guest. “Jerrod, please try and behave. I realize you might have different norms were your from but here in Equestria randomly kissing ponies is not considered good behavior, especially if they have shown a large distaste for you.”

Jerrod's lips split into a cocky grin as he leaned forward. “Now now Miss Sparkle, I don't think she objected that much. I think the guard was more surprised than anything, not to mention I think it brought those two closer together.” He reached out and cupped Twilight's cheek gently causing her to blush a little as his breath danced over her nose. “As for you, all you had to do was ask.”

Spike ducked at the perfect moment but Jerrod had his eyes closed and found himself taking the full brunt of a golden shod hoof to the cheek bone. Needless to say Twilight was confused and Jerrod, well he was rather pleased, he enjoyed sleep a lot so this was a nice transition and it happened so fast it didn't even hurt this time.

Twilight furrowed her brow and looked to the guard. “What was that for?”

The guard saluted and tried to sit and stand at attention. “I was merely protecting the princess from harm.”

Twilight sighed. “I was not in any danger, he was merely being, well I am not sure what to call it but it was harmless.”

“Ma'am.” The guard stiffened. “I also really wanted to.”

Spike broke into laughter and Twilight sighed. “Please refrain from hurting him in the future. I know his actions may be vexing but he is harmless, I think.”

The guard scowled at the crumpled deviant on the floor. “No one who can use fingers like him is harmless.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

The guard suddenly turned bright red and shrunk back a little as he tapped his hooves together. “Well umm, when Miss Octavia threw me he took a moment to...check my gender. I...well lets just say his quick exam was far more thorough than it had any right to be in public.”

Spike tilted his head as Twilight found herself blushing again and turned her head down. “Oh.” was all Twilight said and it left Spike trying to figure out what was going on, something he was fairly sure no one would explain to him.

Slowly the crumpled heap on the floor stirred and looked up from the floor. “Well I can't say this is an unwelcome way to wake up.” He smiled up at the three faces that turned to look down at him. “Did any of you perchance get the number of the train that hit me.”

The guard shifted and Twilight smiled. “It wasn't a train it was your comeuppance. Please refrain from teasing the guards in the future, most of them can hit harder than that.”

Jerrod paled slightly and gulped as he nodded to Twilight. The next moment the door he was leaning against opened and he rolled out and landed on the cobblestone path, his head looking up at a grandiose set of double doors flanked by a pair of guards. He smiled sheepishly at them and then grimaced as a pair of hooves landed on his gut as the guard from the carriage walked over him. Twilight stuck her head out and picked him up with her magic and turned him over, placing him down on is feet before she exited the carriage. “This way Jerrod, it's time to meet the two rulers of Canterlot and Equestria.”

Jerrod looked around at the castle and all the guards before down to Twilight. “Save me.”