Derpy's Diary

by Obselescence

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life
Length: 3364

Please do not read. -Derpy Hooves

"Really secret. Please don't read!"

-Derpy Hooves.

Heavily revised with assistance from NorsePony and Denim_Blue.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-04-11 16:34:02 UTC

The Nice Day

Dear Diary,

Today was a nice day in Ponyville.

Every day is a nice day in Ponyville.

But today was still pretty great even so. Not all great, but still pretty great!

First, I brushed my teeth like my dentist told me to. She said it was the most important thing I could do after waking up, so it's something I've been trying to do a lot more often. She told me that I needed to work harder on my plack(?) when I saw her last Tuesday. I think that meant that I wasn't doing a very good job with brushing my teeth, so I've been trying to brush as much as I can. That way she’ll be proud of me the next time I go in.

I did a really good job at brushing today! I didn’t drop my toothbrush or bonk my head on my mirror like I do sometimes when I’m not paying attention. That was good, because the last time I bonked my head, it broke the mirror, and that’s bad luck!

Breakfast was oatmeal, since I keep forgetting to go to the market. It's sort of goopy, mushy, and not very good without a whole bunch of brown sugar on it, but it's a lot simpler to make than what I normally eat, so I think I will be cooking oatmeal for breakfast more often. I was getting tired of eating burned burnt black toast all the time anyway.

I cleaned up after eating (fourth day without breaking any dishes, yay! laenlane says that my mane is all messy and that I should comb it more when I go outside. I think my mane looks fine mostly, but Thunderlane is better at weather patrol than I am, so I try to do what he says.

I've noticed that I'm doing a lot more stuff in my mornings these days. I comb my teeth and brush my mane (Whoops!) comb my mane and brush my teeth and a lot of other things now just because my friends said I should. I don't mind that much though. They know a lot more about most things than me, even when they sound kind of bossy about it. Whenever they tell me I should do something, it's usually really good advice.

Sometimes it's not, like that one time Rainbow Dash told me to sit there and I fell through the roof, but I don’t think that was on purpose.

So I combed my mane a whole bunch so that it would be extra straight and not messy. I'm not sure if it looked any better after I combed it a bazillion times though. Maybe it was a little less tangled? I guess???

I don't know!

Thunderlane would have told me if my mane looked better, but he's still sick with the Feather Flu, and I'm not supposed to go near him for a week. I hope he gets better soon.

I had everything ready to go out the door when the little hand on my clock was on the eight and the big hand was on the ten. Weather Patrol always starts when the little hand is on the nine and the big hand is on the twelve, so that meant I could get there just in time. Go me again!

I flew to Rainbow Dash's house, because today is Wednesday and that's where Weather Patrol always meets on Wednesdays. Rainbow Dash's house is really cool, since it's built up in the sky and has a little waterfall of rainbow with it. I still like my house down in Ponyville, but I think it'd be neat to have a cloud house like Rainbow Dash does. Maybe I should ask her where she got hers?

Rainbow Dash was giving orders to a lot of the other Weather Patrol ponies when I got there. She is really great at leading Weather Patrol when it's her turn, and all the other pegasus ponies listened close when she told them where she needed to go. There was one group that got sent out to town square, and another that she sent flying off to Sweet Apple Acres, and finally, when there were no other pegasi pegasuses left, she turned to me.

I waved at her and said Hi Rainbow Dash, but she didn't say Hi back. I think that's because being in charge of Weather Patrol means you have to act really important and serious all the time. Thunderlane is always strict too when he's in charge on Thursdays.

So instead of Hi, she just said that I was present, which is a smart way of saying that I was there. Then she said that we were going to go to some place where I could work without causing too much trouble.

I thought that was nice of her, because I break stuff sometimes and then ponies get mad at me. Remember, Diary, when I worked for the moving company and I dropped those boxes on the ground and my boss got really angry at me for costing the company money? I do! That’s why I work for Weather Patrol now instead of the moving company. Because it’s not as bad for me to mess up at kicking clouds as it is to mess up at delivering stuff.

(I almost forgot! This is what Rainbow Dash looks like. Sorry, I am not very good at drawing her.)

We flew all the way out to the edge of the town where there were still a load of clouds hanging around. I thought that meant that we were going to be doing Weather Patrol together, and that would have been awesome, but it was only more training. I hate training.

Rainbow Dash said that it was going to be work like usual, and that it was my job to clear out all those clouds so she could see how I could get better. I don't like training much, but I know Rainbow Dash is a good teacher, so I said Yes Sir! and went to go clear out those clouds.

I remembered that really big and fluffy clouds were bad, so I started kicking those away first. That was a good idea, because Rainbow Dash said that I was doing great so far, and that I should keep it up.

It was going really well for a while, because the sky was getting bluer the more I kicked and that meant I was getting rid of the clouds I was supposed to get rid of. Rainbow Dash was even cheering me on!

I liked that a lot, because Rainbow Dash doesn't say things like Good Job Derpy or Keep It Up very often, and it makes me really happy whenever she does.

But I guess it wasn't all good, because I got excited and started kicking faster and faster. I could tell Rainbow Dash was yelling and really excited too, but I couldn’t really tell what she was saying until I ak akc acksidently kicked a black cloud and it shocked me. Ouch!

Rainbow Dash flew over really quick and got mad at me and the cloud. She pulled me off the black cloud and blew it away with her wings. Then she shouted really loud at me that I needed to be a lot more careful and that I could have been hurt, and I felt bad because I knew that meant I screwed up. I didn’t let it hurt my feelings though, because I know Rainbow Dash only yells at me a lot when she’s worried about me. She shouted some more things about how I could have been shocked to death if I weren’t so lucky, but after a while she just kind of sighed and said Derpy we've been over this before.

I said that I was sorry. I tried to sound as sorry as I was, and I was really sorry, but I don't think I sounded sorry enough, because she started lekchuring me again.

She started saying a lot of stuff about nimbocoomcumulus clouds and what kind I needed to stay away from, and what kind I needed to be really careful with, and then she asked if I was even listening to her.

I WAS listening to her. I just nod a lot when she says stuff I don't understand because I don't want to look stupid. But I think Rainbow Dash is starting to think that means I'm not listening.

I wasn't sure about all the types of clouds, but I thought I knew what she was saying, so I told her that Yes I was listening and that she was saying black clouds were bad.

Rainbow Dash laughed when I said that and said Close enough, so I guess that meant my answer was right. Then she slapped me on the back and said I’d be a great Weather Patroller if I just remembered that, so I’m going to write it down now:

(Kick)

(Don't Kick)

Rainbow Dash said that I could go home early today if I wanted, and that she would take care of everything for me, and I said yes to that. I used to think that being told to leave early meant I was a screw-up, like when they told me to go home all the time at the moving company, but Rainbow Dash doesn't mean it in a bad way because she always tells me to come back next time. Rainbow Dash even says that I’m not as awful at clearing out clouds since we started training on Wednesdays, so I think that's a good sign! I’m still not as good at Weather Patrol as Rainbow Dash or Thunderlane yet, but maybe if I keep working hard at it I will be someday. I would like it a lot if I could learn how to kick clouds without getting hurt.

I didn’t have that much to do, since I got out of Weather Patrol early, so I ate lunch at the Mane Street Cafe, where all the waiters are really nice. The daisy sandwiches were great like always and I drank all my water without spilling any of it. I kind of wished that I could get out of Weather Patrol early every day so I could eat there more often, but I know I shouldn’t think things like that.

After I had lunch, I went to go say Hi to all my friends. Flying around town and saying Hi to everypony is really exhosting, but it's something I like to do when I’m done working on Weather Patrol. There should always be time to be nice to friends.

I said Hi to Lyra, Bon Bon, Rose, Daisy, and a bunch of other ponies when I saw them trot by. They all said Hi and waved back at me when they saw me. That’s one of the reasons why I like Ponyville so much. I went to Canterlot once, and when you try to talk to ponies over there, they just sort of put their noses up and ignore you like you're not really there. I’m not as lonely in Ponyville as I was when I went to Canterlot.

I went to go say Hi to Rarity too, but I saw one of her pretty flowerpots while I was there and I acksidently knocked it over when I went to go see it up close. It got dirt all over the floor when it broke, and that made a huge mess. I was really worried because I know Rarity doesn't like things to get messy, but she didn't yell at me for it. She just said that it was fine and that she had other flowerpots, so I shouldn’t worry too much about it.

I don’t know if it was really all right though. That flowerpot seemed really fancy and ekspen expensive, and Rarity looked sad when I knocked it over. She kept saying it was okay when I asked her, but she had that weird look on her face that ponies get when I break important things, and that makes me feel sad since I know I messed up. I told her that I was super-duper sorry for what I did, but she smiled and said it was okay.

But I could tell that she wasn’t really happy, so I don’t think she was being very honest with me. I felt bad about breaking that flowerpot and I told her I would pay her for it, but she said she wasn’t going to have any of that. I didn’t really know what to do, so I tried not to bother her any more after that.

I think I will try to send her a I’m Sorry card tomorrow though. I’ve got the glitter and crayons and everything ready, so I hope it will make her feel better.

I was feeling really sad on the way back from Rarity’s House, but then I saw Pinkie Pie. She gave me an invitation to a party, and that cheered me up a lot. She asked why I was sad and said that a great party can turn any frown upside down, so I told her that I would be at Sugarcube Corner right after saying Hi to all my other friends. Pinkie Pie's parties are always really fun, and I always enjoy going to them, even those I wasn’t really invited to.

Don't tell anypony that, Diary!

When I was done going around town to say Hi to all my other friends, like Twilight Sparkle, Colgate, Cheerilee, and way more ponies than I can write down, the sun was starting to go down. I had no clue what time it was, and I'd already lost the invitation, so I was a little afraid of missing the party.

It turned out that I didn't need to worry though, because the party was just getting started when I showed up at Sugarcube Corner. That was good, because usually I’m late to the party instead of early.

Pinkie Pie was there at the door when I showed up, so she gave me a hug and let me in. She wanted to give me a muffin from a huge stack of food that was baked special just for the party, but I told her no thanks and that I didn't really want a muffin. Not even a sugary blueberry one.

I haven't had a muffin in forever, because I never forgot the last time Pinkie Pie gave out free muffins, and I still get kind of sick when I think about them. I imagine earthworms and other nasty stuff sticking out of muffins all the time now, so I don't like to eat those any more. I hope I get over that soon. I really miss banana nut muffins.

Pinkie didn't seem to mind much though. She gave me a plain old vanilla cupcake instead, and I nibbled on that while all the other ponies were still showing up at the door. It was a Sugarcube Corner cupcake, so it tasted really good.

The music that Pinkie had playing was really cool and dancey. I love dancing, but I don't do it much because I always bump into stuff when I do. But it was a really good song, and all the other ponies looked like they were having fun, so I wanted to join in. I started shaking and moving my hooves to try and stay with the music and I was having a lot of fun at first, but then I ended up knocking over the punch bowl and breaking it.

There was punch all over the floor, and some ponies slipped and fell on it and I think they hurt themselves. I said I was sorry to them, but they were angry and yelled at me that they didn’t want to hear it. Then I saw that everypony had stopped dancing and that nopony was talking, and I think they all knew that I was the one who broke the punch bowl because they all had that look on their faces. I was really embearassed, because I knew I shouldn’t have been dancing, but I couldn’t help myself and I ruined the party.

Some ponies came and helped up the ones who slipped. Then the ponies who slipped stopped yelling and laughed at me, and told me that my cutie mark must be bubbles because I bust everything that I touch and maybe because my head was full of bubbles too.

I started crying then, because they were right and I do break things a lot and mess things up, even though I try my best not to, and I felt awful because everypony was staring at me. I wanted to run away and hide somewhere so that I wouldn’t be teased any more, but then Rainbow Dash came up and said Hey she didn’t do it on purpose. Then some other ponies said She already said she was sorry, and Pinkie Pie said that what those ponies were doing wasn’t very nice at all, and that they could leave if they were going to act that way. She looked like she was really angry, but at them, not at me.

I'm really glad that I have friends who stop ponies from being mean to me like that. Sometimes I get scared and can’t think straight, so it’s good to know that I have friends who can be there for me.

The ponies who teased me got really quiet. They came up to me and said they were sorry. I told them it was all right, but they left right away after that. I hope they’re not still too angry at me for making them slip on punch.

Everypony was still just standing there, even after they left, but then Pinkie Pie said Hey there’s still a lot of partying left to do, and everypony started dancing again. Then she said Hey Derpy you should dance with us. I didn’t want to at first, but then she dragged me out and made me dance when I said no. All of my friends said Go Derpy, and told me I should dance too. It turns out that dancing is a lot more fun when you're doing it with your friends.

The party went on for a long, long time, but that was fine because it was such a great party! I said Hi to all of my friends again and said thanks for helping me and ate some more cupcakes. I danced some more too, and this time I was super careful so that I wouldn't break anything. Honest! I didn't knock over anything else all night.

Rainbow Dash smiled and waved back at me when she saw me waving at her. She doesn't always do that, so I was happy that she did.

The party couldn’t last forever though. Ponies started going home, saying that they couldn't stay up TOO late, and it was probably way past my usual bedtime too. Pinkie Pie started looking a little sad near the end like she does sometimes when her parties end, but we all told her how much we enjoyed it right before we left. That seemed to cheer her up a lot.

There wasn't much left to do when I got home. I was all full of cupcakes from the party, so I didn't need any dinner, and I remembered to brush my teeth before getting ready for bed.

And that was my day!

I thought it was nice enough to write down in my diary (that's you!), because even though I did mess up sometimes, my friends still liked me anyway and didn't get too mad at me for it. It’s great that I have friends like Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie who always try to help me out no matter what. I think that's why lots of days are so great in Ponyville.

I can't stop yawning for some reason, so I think I am going to go to bed now. Good night, diary! Wish me another great day tomorrow!

Love, Dorpy Derpy.