It was a bright day in the Wonderbolt Academy, the weather team did a fine job at clearing off the clouds that hung in the skies to make it a perfect day to train the new recruits. The other Wonderbolt captains liked new recruit day but Spitfire hated it, almost everything about it put her in a bad mood, how the recruits thought they were Celestia's gift, how they thought they'd eventually be captains like Spitfire, Soarin, and Fleetfoot, things like that brutally pissed her off.
"When'll the newbies arrive?" Spitfire asked one of her advisers in an annoyed tone.
"Some time in the next five minutes, ma'am." the pegasus responded.
Spitfire sighed and stood up from her chair and walked over to the small mirror the hung on the wall in her office. She glared at herself in the mirror, seeing how menacing she could look but she wasn't convincing herself, she walked over to her desk and slipped on her beloved purple shades and tried glaring into the mirror again. This'll make me scare the shit out of them Spitfire thought to herself triumphantly.
"Spitfire, the recruits have arrived, ma'am!" one of the pegasi that worked at the academy said.
"Okay, get them to where they're supposed to go and I'll be there shortly." Spitfire groaned.
Spitfire walked out onto the green grass and viewed the new meat that had arrived a few minutes ago. Upon seeing Spitfire the noobs stiffened up.
"Alright you useless sacks of ass! As some of you may know, my name is Spitfire, lead captain of the Wonderbolts! I will be your commanding officer throughout your time at the academy, do I make myself clear?!"
All of the noobs responded with a loud 'ma'am, yes, ma'am!'
"Good, now that we have that out of way, I'm going to learn some things about you." what Spitfire really mean't was she was going to go down the line of noobs and roast most if not all of them.
While going down the line her first bit of prey, she was a blue pegasus with a white mane.
"What's your name, scum?" Spitfire asked.
"Sky Fire, m-ma'am." the blue pegasus said, shaking slightly of nervousness.
"Well, your new nickname is Blue Waffle! Do you like that name, Private Blue Waffle?" Spitfire barked.
"Well ma'am... actually-"
"Good, I knew you'd love that name, now get the hell out of my face!" Spitfire said, cutting the blue waffle-I mean pegasus off.
Moving on to a new OC nobody cares about she placed her shades on her head, little did she know that this was a huge mistake.
Upon stopping in front of another pegasus Spitfire noticed the slight grin on his face.
"What are you smiling about? Do you think that you're home free for the insults coming your way? If so you are wrong, as a matter of fact you're the ugliest organism I've ever seen in my entire life, you're lucky I have an iron stomach cause if I didn't I would blow chunks all over the ground here due to the ugly features of your face! Now be a darling young stallion and wipe that stupid fucking grin off of your face!" Spitfire yelled.
The pegasus continued to smile, he couldn't help it, it didn't matter to Spitfire though, she planted a hoof into his chest, knocking the wind out of him and making him collapse to the ground.
"Get up now, candy ass or I'll have you sent back to where you came! You know, that's your new nickname, Candy Ass." Spitfire said as she flicked her head to the right, causing her shades to unknowingly slid off of her head and launch onto the ground. Spitfire walked on to roast more noobs when she heard a crunch, Spitfire stopped, wondering what that sound was. Finally she boiled it down to one of two things either someponys dignity was crushed or it was her shades, she thought about the two very distinct sounds and remembered the sound of crushed dignity was more of a shatter than a crunch, Spitfire's heart dropped, she slowly moved her hoof and her fears had been confirmed. Her shades had been crushed. Spitfire brought up a hoof full of crushed sunglasses to her eyes. What have I done Spitfire thought to herself before turning around and sulking to her office. Halfway to her office Spitfire heard a familiar voice, it was Soarin.
"Spitfire, what are you doing? You have recruits to train, you can't just leave." Soarin said.
"I'm sorry... I just can't do that right now..." Spitfire responded in a rather sad voice.
"Hey, what's the matter? You seem sad, did something happen? You can tell me." Soarin exclaimed, trying to help his friend and teammate.
"I just need some time alone right now, I just lost somepony close to me." Spitfire mumbled and walked away from Soarin.
Upon returning to her office, Spitfire slumped into her chair, causing it to roll and tap up against the wall under the window that stood behind her. She placed the mangled bits of dead sunglasses on the table and buried her face into her hooves, she began crying.
"Why did I ever do that, placing you on my head was such a bad idea." she said to herself as she cried.
She looked up from her intimate cry to look at a picture that sat on her desk, it was of her when she had just entered the Wonderbolts, she was wearing her beloved shades that cared for more that her own family.
"You guys were my pride and joy, now... you're gone." Spitfire said to herself before she began intimately crying again.
Spitfire sat with her head in her arms, crying until she heard a knock at her door and Fleetfoot's voice.
"Hey Spits, you alright, Soarin said he saw you come in here and when he talked to you, you were sad, what's up?" said the arctic blue mare.
Spitfire looked up and saw Fleetfoot had her shades resting on her head which caused Spitfire to produce more tears.
"Somepony I was really good friends with has passed recently.." Spitfire responded between sobs.
"Who has passed?" Fleetfoot asked, cocking her head to the right slightly.
"Somepony by the same of... Shades..." Spitfire painfully responded.
"Spitfire, we all suffer losses in our lives." Fleetfoot said, not knowing that Shades was a pair of sunglasses.
"Please go... I-I just want to be alone right now..." Spitfire said.
Fleetfoot did as told and went to leave but halfway across Spitfire's office said " If you need to talk about about anything tell me and I'll be there for you."
Spitfire heard the door close and began to sob and cry loudly. She looked out the window at all of the recruits training.
"I wish I hadn't fucked up. I would have enjoyed yelling at them in a brutal manner." Spitfire said sniffling.
After the day was over, the other two Wonderbolt captains stood down the hall from Spitfire's office.
"What should we do, she's been in her office all day." Soarin asked Fleetfoot.
"I don't know, she said something about losing a loved one, somepony by the name of Shades." Fleetfoot said being as confused as Soarin to why their friend was sad.
"Wanna go talk to her now?" Soarin asked.
"Let's go." Fleetfoot responded.
The two pegasi opened Spitfire's office door slowly, being sure not to be too loud.
"Uh... hey Spitfire, we came to see if we could cheer you up." Soarin said, scratching his leg awkwardly with a hoof.
"Oh... h-hey guys." Spitfire said through sobs. The Fleetfoot and Soarin wondered how Spitfire was still alive and hasn't died of dehydration because of her constant crying.
Fleetfoot walked over to Spitfire. "Um.. wanna tell us what happened, we're curious, y'know?"
"Okay. I can't hold it back forever, I might as well tell you both now about why I am sad and who I lost." Spitfire said, trying to hold back sobs. "Earlier today" she continued "I was roasting the noobs n' stuff, y'know... I made a mistake while doing that and I accidentally killed the things that make my life worth living... my... my..." Spitfire couldn't continue and began crying stereo-typically like in a crappy cliche'd romance movie where someone or something dies.
"Who? Who was it that you killed?" Soarin asked in a rather concerned tone.
"Shades... my shades..." Spitfire whimpered out.
Spitfire's two friends just stood there looking at her.
"What the fuck. Are you fuckin' serious?" Soarin said.
"Wh-what?" Spitfire asked with tears rolling down her face.
"You're going through a life crisis over your sunglasses... is this really necessary?" Fleetfoot said in a frustrated tone.
The two Wonderbolt's just stood looking at Spitfire in disbelief, they had no clue why they were concerned anymore, as a matter of fact they gave absolutely no fucks whatsoever about their good friends dilemma.
"Ya know what? I'm done. I'm going to leave, go to the nearest fast food joint, pick up an oat burger and a pie, head to my place, and finally rethink my life and why I deal with the stuff I deal with every day." Soarin said as he exited the office.
"Spitfire. Buy new shades. I'm going with Soarin except I am stopping at the nearest bar and getting as many hard ciders as possible so I can drink myself into a coma and not have to deal with this. If you wanna quit being a pussy and come with, I'll have Soarin wait." Fleetfoot said as she stepped out of the door.
Spitfire stood up, walked over to her mirror, and gave herself a good look in the eye did I seriously just spend my day doing absolutely nothing but mourn over my sunglasses all day she thought to herself.
"Fuck this, I'm going with Fleetfoot and Soarin." Spitfire said to herself as she moved toward her door.
The three pegasi flew off into the night, Spitfire stopped mourning her shades, Fleetfoot didn't drink herself into a coma but did get pretty plastered, and Soarin couldn't find the brainpower to rethink his life but he didn't care, he had food. Later that month Spitfire had a monument built in front of the academy where her shades are buried in the clouds. Never forget. R.I.P Spitfire's shades.
