purgatory

by Rwanda Boulevard

Rating: everyone
Tags:
Length: 1257

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Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-10-03 02:24:46 UTC

hangover

   *BOOM*.

   Barney fell of the couch. He picked his throbbing head off the floor and looked around. How did I get here?He got up looking down at his messy clothes.

    " God damn it." He swore. He was stuck in another world with a hangover and he couldn't even put on a fresh suit. He sat down and ran his fingers through his greasy hair.

    " Oh man my head. I must have lost it last night. Fricken horses man." He got up to go upstairs then, *BOOM*!!!!!! The whole house/library shook violently. Barney fell over due to a still lingering lack of coordination. Suddenly everything smelled like smoke. He grabbed his coat which was covered in conspicuous stains and made his way up the dusty stairs and to the door. He grabbed the handle to turn it only for the door to fall forward.

    He stood there and looked down at the handle still in his hands. " Ok then." Barney chucked the handle behind his head.I'm sure that wasn't my fault.He made his way out of the basement and into a chard and completely destroyed library.I really hope I didn't due this.He made his way through the smoking wreckage. He got glimpses of photos, books, and many personal items. All of which where destroyed by what ever came upon the library house thing.

    Once Barney cleared the remains he made his way to nearest house to find out the fate which had befallen the one he was staying at. He stopped at a tall looking pastel house with a kinda of fairy tale look about it and knocked. He received no answer so he moved on to the next house, and the next one, and the next one.Apparently everyone on the block is gone.Not deterred by this he continued to go house to house like a Mormon knocking in hopes that there was someone still left in the town. He heard strange bellows and explosions coming from the mountains but ignored it. After all if there can be talking horses surely there could be noisy mountains.

    After about an hour Barney was convinced that everypony died. He made his ways back to the exploded library. Suddenly he noticed that all the ponies had not disappeared but had come out of there homes to look up at the sky which for some reason was filled with rainbows. He could also now hear singing. " LET RAINBOW REMIND YOU!!!". He made his way over with the rest of the town's ponies to the place where the library used to be. Only know for some odd reason a giant demented monolith was protruding from the ground. Everypony had gathered around it and was singing in harmony. Including Rainbow Dash, Twilight, some other ponies he didn't know wearing regal regalia, and a some crazy creature that could only be described as a taxidermists wet dream where all standing at the doors of the weird crystal castle thing. He made his way through the large crowed until he finally made his way to Rainbow Dash and friend who where in the middle of song. Barney's hangover was killing him and this didn't help. He also didn't get why they where so happy, why that castle thing was thing there, why Twilight looked like she just went ten rounds with a dragon ball z type monster, and how everyone new the lyrics to the song they where singing, did they rehearse this? These where the questions pushed Barney just a little to far.

    " WHAT THEY HELL IS GOING ON AND WHY DIDNT ANYONE PREP ME FOR A MUSICAL NUMBER?!?!?!?!" Barney was fuming. Suddenly the singing stopped and all eyes turned to him.

   Rainbow Dashes gasped as she saw her new found friend looking so terrible from the events that lead to this very odd moment. She flew over to him and said, " Oh my gosh I'm so sorry I forgot about you. But something really crazy came up and, ummm, well it's a long story." She looked her friend in his baggy eyes. " Lets get you inside you can wash off and talk."

  " So you're telling me that she." Barney pointed across the grand dining room table at Twilight, " Fought some evil magic eating demon from the bowels of hell, opened a box full of more magic shenanigans, and brought ever lasting peace to the land whilst becoming the princess of friendship and lord of the town." He leaned back in his chair and put his hands in the bath robe pockets and laughed. " That sounds like you girls had one hell of a time. But wait what where all of you doing when this was going on?" The lone human motioned at the rest of the girls.

   " Well darling the thing is....um." Rarity twirled her mane.

   " It kinda a long story see well." Applejack hide behind her that.

   "  We where coming to the save the day all cool looking but uuuuh." Rainbow Dash struck a pose.

   " Eh....um." Fluttershy hid behind her chair.

   " What happened was Twilight had been acting all weird and she was like zoom zoom. Then she shot up in the sky and when bam and was flying real fast. Then we tried to help her and she said, not today. Then she flew off, then we got betrayed by Discord and all our magic was suck out by lord big horns. There was an awesome show down then T-rex was like, give me your magic or you won't have your friends. Then she gave up and then deus ex machina now we won and she has a new house." Pinkie's wild explanation caused Barney lean back so far that he fell out of his chair.

   " Well then ladies." Barney stood up, " This is a cause for celebration. I say we head to the bar and party. To honor the town princess." He raised his hand in salute to Twilight.

   " I could go for a drink right about know." Twilight nodded in agreement to Barney's proposal.

   " SUIT UP! Oh wait a minute, Dash you wouldn't happen to know a tailor? I am running dangerously low on clothes. Not that it's a bad thing considering my company." The girls all blushed with the exception of Dash and PInkie Pie who  was swinging on the chandelier from the mention of a possible party.

   " I don't know Barney we don't have many tailors. I certainly don't know anypony who knows anything about fashion, or sewing I jus." Rarity came up and smacked the sarcastic look off Rainbow Dash's face.

   " Well Barney it would seem that your in good company. My best friend Rarity is the town fashionista." Rainbow rubbed the back of her head giving Rarity the stink eye.

   " Daring it would be my pleasure to help you outfit a new suit."

   " Excellent. Now everyone the bar at seven and remember to suit up." He grabbed his old clothes and made his way out with Rarity.

   " Ah Twi? What do ya reckon he ment by suit up?" AJ was confused.

   Twilight zapped a book into her hoof. " Suiting up, is defined in the Marester dictionary as the art of becoming awesome via wearing a suit. It's also a official Barney Stinson catch phrase, copyright pending. Wait what???

   " I'M SO NERVEXCITED."

grilled mormons

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tltobsard

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3am

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the bar

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jumper

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