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               From the Flames of a Phoenix                
                       -by Tailgate-                       
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                         Chapter 1                         
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Chapter 1
        “We’ve got a village up ahead. Keep your eyes peeled and your weapons loaded.”
        Johnson kept his eyes to the path ahead as we approached the desert village. Our squad, Sergeant Johnson, Corporal Simons, Private First Class Bellsworth, and myself, was assigned to patrolling the desert tundra for insurgents in a humvee.
        I moved my finger onto the safety switch of my M16A2. Locked and loaded, I’ve had this gun since my initial departure from U.S. soil two months back. It has not seen a proper firefight, but I have trained with it in firing range.
        Simons turned back to face Bellsworth and I from the shotgun seat, “Bellsworth, mount the .50 cal.”
        Bellsworth nodded, opened the hatch, and climbed up. A few seconds later, he called back down, “Ready to fire corporal.”
        We rode in silence during our drive through the village and I fumbled with the end of my M16’s stock the entire time. The locals did not bother us, but they would stop and stare as we passed by. The village itself was eerily quiet and the tension was thick enough to cut with a knife.
I could feel my squadmates relaxing as we finally exited the town.
I wiped the sweat off my brow and commented to no one,“Wheh- Those villagers creeped me the hell out, don’t they normally keep working while we pass by? Seriously, they just stared at us the whole time.”
Johnson spoke up from the driver’s seat, “I agree, something feels off today. Bellsworth, keep the .50 cal primed.”
“Yes Sergeant!”
I pondered for a second about what might happen. I tightened my grip on my M16.
“Simons, I remember you saying you were struck by an ied during your last deployment. Were there any signs beforehand that we can watch out for?”
        “Yeah, I guess, my convoy was approaching a town. No one from the town could be seen and when the first humvee reached the town a line of ieds went off below us. They swarmed out from inside the buildings and started firing on us.”
        Simons put his head down and sighed, “I was one of six survivors from my platoon.”
        Not sure what to say, I decided on a general response, “Damn. Sorry to hear that man.”
        Bellsworth bent down and poked his head out from the hatch, “Don’t worry about that Corporal, I ain’t planning on dying anytime soon!”
        I reached forwards and patted Simons on his shoulder, “Yeah man, we’re here with you, so don’t you worry about a thing.”
        I pulled my hand back from Simons and gripped the stock of my gun once more. After a few minutes, Johnson spoke from the front seat.
        “Unknown contacts, three o’clock. Bellsworth, keep an eye out on all sides. Report any strange activity.”
        Simons perked up and grabbed his gun from its perch on the dashboard and his finger hovered over the safety while I watched Bellsworth’s feet spin around as he scanned the desert dunes.
        “No hostile activity, sergeant.”
        Johnson leaned forward to get a better view of the contacts. After a few seconds he pulled back and stated, “Looks like a trading caravan, Bellsworth, keep an eye on them while we approach.”
        “Yes sergeant!”
        We reached the caravan and found out, that yes, it was a trading caravan. Simons and I searched the group for any weapons or explosives, but found nothing. We boarded the humvee once more and continued our patrol. The next hour was pretty boring and the four of us ended up just talking about our pasts.
        Turns out that Johnson was a mechanic before he enlisted. He knew a lot more about the humvee than I had given him credit for. Simons went on his first deployment after graduating from high school several years back. Both Bellsworth and I’ve done the same, except more recently.
        Eventually Bellsworth came down from his perch on the .50 cal and I replaced him for the time being. We kept to the sandy path made by countless patrols before us and currently, we’re in the middle of nowhere. Just sand dunes and the occasional brush as far as the eye can see. Shadows were casting along the ground as the sun started to fall below the horizon.
        Johnson called up from below, “I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first, Richard?”
        I kept my gaze on the dunes around us and replied, “Hm- Good news first then bad news.”
        Bellsworth spoke up, “Yeah! Let’s hear the good news first.”
        “Okay boys, the good news is that we only have two hours left on our patrol.”
        Bellsworth asked, “And? What’s the bad news?”
        I heard a chuckle from inside, “The bad news is that we have two hours left.”
        A small smile hit my face and I laughed silently. I could still hear Johnson’s chuckling from down below.
        Eventually, the sun disappeared and only a few fragments of light from behind the dunes reminded us that it ever existed. The temperature dropped from sweating our balls off to freezing our balls off.
        As the path grew darker my eyes adjusted to the low light. I turned occasionally to inspect for any signs of movement in the darkness. At one point I turned to face the front. The headlights shone far out from the front of our humvee and that light was reflected back by something.
        Whatever reflected the light was only about ten seconds ahead of us if we kept at this speed.
        “Sergeant! Stop the humvee!”
        The humvee lurched and came to a stop and Johnson yelled back, “What the hell is it private? Do you see something?”
        I skimmed the darkness around us once more, looking for any hostile contact. “Sir, there is something reflecting light in the road. It looked metallic. Also, we fucking need lights mounted on this .50 cal.”
        Johnson changed the humvee’s gear and drove backwards on the path until the object became visible in the headlights once more.
        “Well shit. Richard, keep your head low while I call this in.”
        I heard a click from below, “This is Sergeant Johnson, we are at fifty klicks east and twenty three klicks south of Foxtrot. There is an unknown device in the road, suspected to be an ied. The ground around it is disturbed and it is made of a metallic material.”
        A crackly voice from the radio spoke, “Roger, hold your position and watch for any insurgents. We are sending a bomb squad to your location.”
        “Yes sir, heading out.” Another click. “Alright boys, keep your guns loaded and watch the dunes.”
        We sat in the humvee for a good five minutes until Simons spotted movement to our right.
        “Sergeant, we have movement at two o’ cl- Fuck get down!”
        I turned the .50 cal to face the contacts, I expected shadows in the darkness to meet my gaze. Instead I saw a bright flash and smoke trailing behind something out in the distance.
Fuck!
I opened fire on the incoming rpg. The bullets impacting the sand behind it and left dents in the dune’s natural smooth landscape.
        The sound of the .50 cal blaring as it shot bullets was overwhelmed by the rpg striking the side of our humvee and detonating. The explosion rocked the humvee, and the right side was heavily damaged, but whoever constructed this humvee did a hell of a job because it was still together.
        “Oh god! My arm! My fucking arm!”
        Over the blasts from my .50 cal I heard Sergeant Johnson’s yell, “Our vehicle is compromised and we have an injury! Get that fucking squad over here!”
        I felt something grab my foot and heard Johnson once more, “Richard! Load those fuckers with bullets, and keep them off of us.”
        Instead of the standard ‘yes sir’, I aimed my sight down on the figures that launched the rpg and started firing lead at the bastards. The insurgents responded with bullets of their own, speaking in another language. One that anyone can speak, the language of war. I could hear the bullets impacting the metal shielding around me.
        The constant flashing of gun muzzles lit up the desert night. Through the flashes I could see the insurgents hiding behind sand. I only stopped firing when the shadows dropped and stopped moving entirely.  I figured I hit about six by the time I saw another group rise from behind another dune.
        Bullet casings clinked on the top of the humvee as I fired at the new group. At this moment I had all their fire on me instead of on my squadmates. Fuck, if I live through this shit, even I’ll be surprised. I could see the dents forming on the metal of my cover as each shot they fired was blocked by it. I downed at least two more before a bullet found its way into my left shoulder. My shoulder slammed onto the roof behind me.
        “Fuck! Johnson, I’m hit!”
        I let my left arm drop and I continued my assault with my uninjured arm.
Click. Click.
        Fuck fuck fuck. I ducked below the roof and slid to the left side of our humvee and exited, slamming the door behind me. Simons was sitting down and leaning back on the driver’s door with his head down. He had blood covering his chest and he was missing most of his right arm.
        Johnson was bent down over Simons and was applying a tourniquet to the stub that remained of Simon’s arm. Johnson looked up at me and yelled, “Keep those bastards off of us!” I did an impromptu salute and took a place by the hood of the humvee. At the backside of our vehicle, Bellsworth was firing from the corner at the insurgents.
        I peeked over the hood and saw the shadows advancing towards us. At the pace of their charge, they would arrive in less than twenty seconds. I ducked back down and checked my injured shoulder. Blood was trailing down from a bullet hole in my ACUs and I doubted I could use my arm for anything without experiencing some intense pain.
        I grabbed a grenade from my chest and pulled its pin with my teeth.
        One. Two. Throw the bitch!
        I twisted my body to fling the grenade towards the insurgents. The grenade arced over the humvee and exploded in the air above some of the occupied dunes. Screams pierced the air in a language I could not understand. I grabbed my M16 from its strap and switched the safety off. I grabbed the handguard with my injured arm to brace the gun from recoil, even if it will hurt like a motherfucker.
        Using my uninjured hand, I snapped the charging handle back and I grabbed the grip and placed my index finger over the trigger.
Fuck these assholes.
I positioned myself just barely over the hood and aimed towards the insurgents and started firing. To my left, out on the path I could see lights approaching, hopefully it was the bomb squad, else we were fucked. Oh shit, the bomb.
I turned to see a convoy of ours speeding down the road, they were aware of the attacking insurgents, but seemed to have forgotten about the ied in the road. About seventeen seconds before they will hit it if they don’t stop.
Fuck, I hate this job.
I aimed my sights down on the ied in the road and fired the rest of my clip at it. Every shot missed its mark and so I sprinted towards the ied while releasing the clip and replacing it.
Ten seconds.
Johnson yelled out from behind the humvee, “What the fuck are you doing Richard!?”
Now out of cover, three of the insurgents focused on firing at me. I ignored the pain lancing from my left arm and pulled the charging handle back once more. I lifted the sights onto the ied while sprinting towards it for a better shot.
Five seconds.
A bullet pierced my right leg and I felt my knee give in. With a final push from my left leg I jumped and flew towards my target while simultaneously pulling the trigger. Finally, a bullet hit my target in just the right place and the explosive detonated before the convoy reached it. Fire and scraps of metal shot out from the explosion.
While I did detonate it before the convoy could reach it, I however, ended up closer to it than I would have wanted. The flames engulfed my vision and I felt shrapnel slam into my chest before I finally blacked out from the pain.
        The sounds of a broom sweeping across the floor was the only thing I could hear. I used my hands to feel around me. I was in some sort of bed, but- wait, wasn’t I in that explosion? I snapped my eyes open, I was laying in a white bed and was covered by a white sheet. In front of my bed was a pony.
        However, this pony was not normal. It’s coat was white, but its mane was -well- red. It also had some mark in the shape of a red plus sign right above its thigh. It must have heard me moving and it was staring right back at me. After an impromptu staring contest, the pony ran out of the room.
        I just rubbed my eyes and decided I must have gone crazy. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and tried standing up, my right leg seared with pain and my knee gave in and I crumpled to the floor. I was about to push myself up when I heard the clip-clop of heels approach from the doorway. The bed was in the way so I could not see my visitor.
        “Here, let me help you up.” A rather feminine voice stated, I then felt myself being lifted by something, but I could not see anything. It felt like it was gripping my entire body at once and it was freaking me out. I plopped back down onto the bed and got to see my visitor. Instead of a nurse, which I was expecting, there was a horse. Not the same one as earlier, as this one was also white and taller, but it had some sort of mixture of different pastel colors for its mane and it’s thigh mark was a sun. It also had wings and a horn on its head.
        I continued scanning the room to see if anyone besides the horse was with me or if I was just hallucinating.
        “Hello creature, I assume your name is Richard?”
        Slightly confused, I responded,  “Uh… Yeah. How did you know? And also how are you talking to me right now?”
        The horse smirked -seriously, how is that even possible?- and answered me, “I found it on your outfit when you arrived. Also, we’ve been speaking in my native tongue, Equestrian.”
        Okay. So apparently this ‘Equestrian’ is the same as English, and this horse can speak it.
        I did a quick analysis of my injuries and found the hole in my left shoulder was gone. No sign of injury to my right leg either, but it hurt like a bitch. My chest was fine, except it felt sore. I pinched myself to check if I was really awake. Ouch- Yup, I was awake.
        I sighed and put my head in my hands. The horse trotted up to the front of my bed as I looked back up. Upon closer examination I could see that the horse’s face was nothing like a real horse. Rather, it was a softer face in general and much bigger eyes that could show expression much like a human face.
        “What’s wrong creature? Also, what are you?”
        I sighed again, “Well, to start, I don’t know where I am, what you are, how my squad is, if they think I’m dead, how I got here, or why I’m speaking to a horse.”
        The horse seemed to give me a look a pity and she begun to answer my thoughts, “You are in Canterlot Castle, in Equestria.  I am named Celestia, I’m an alicorn, one of the subspecies of ponies. I am one of four known alicorns. There are three other subspecies which you will meet in time.
        “I do not know anything about this squad of yours or where you came from, but I found you in my garden covered in my phoenix’s, Philomena, ashes.”
        Wait- a phoenix? What else lives here! Also, why the hell was I in its ashes?
        “Well, I’ve never heard of Equestria, and phoenixes are only legends from where I’m from. But that still doesn’t explain how I got here.”
        A purple pony head with a horn peeked around the corner. It’s mane was a darker purple with lighter highlights.
        “Celestia! Can I examine it?”
        Celestia turned to face her, “No Twilight, there are things that must be done before you can meet it.”
        Twilight was visibly downtrodden by this news and she slipped away. Celestia turned back to face me.
        “That was Twilight, my personal student, she is a unicorn and is very curious about what you are. So, Richard, what are you?”
        “I’m a human, I’m from the United States of America.”
        Celestia seemed to ponder this information for a second, but quickly responded, “What is the last thing you remember?”
        I moved into a more comfortable position in the bed and prepared myself to tell my story of the past day, or rather, what seemed to be the past day’s events to Celestia. She sat down on her haunches and waited for me to start.

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     Chapter 2 - Am I supposed to name these? ... Nah      
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Chapter 2 - Am I supposed to name these? ... Nah
        Celestia occasionally spoke up to question me about one thing or another, namely human technology. After finishing recalling the memories up to me arriving, I gave her the basics of our world. This included describing the political, religious, and economical conflict between civilizations on earth.
        Afterwards, she explained some basic history of Equestria, she overthrew chaos incarnate and has ruled for the past few thousand years. To the north is Gryponia, east is Zebrica, and west lies the land of the minotaurs and some other herbivorous species like bison. She did not really mention what was to the south of Equestria, but she did say that it was mostly frozen wastes.
        The strangest thing she told me was that this chaos incarnate, unicorns, and herself are all able to do magic. Like- Not fancy magic tricks magic, but real fucking magic. I don’t want to fuck with any of them if it means my head will blow up if they get even slightly angry.
        She must have saw my fear when she mentioned magic, because she promised that no one would use magic to hurt anyone else, especially in Equestria. I explained to her how it would be used on Earth if humans had magic, but then again, we have weapons that can travel across the world unmanned and kill millions, so would magic really be that bad?
        She was not fazed when I explained that I’m an omnivore, she mentioned that she often has gryphon ambassadors, so she has stocks of meat for their visits that I can eat. Non-sentient meat while at it. So I got that going for me.
        That purple unicorn, Twilight, came back in and mentioned something about royal duties. Thankfully, before Celestia left, she magicked up some sort of healing spell and numbed the pain in my leg so I could actually get up and walk around. She told me that her sister, Luna, would be visiting me in a few hours after the sun falls. Why then, I don’t know.
        I got myself out of the bed and left the room. Now I know how those pirates who lose a leg feel. The numbness in my leg makes it feel like I’m walking on a wooden peg. As I waddled through the doorway, a dark blue mare unicorn with a black mane that trailed down to the bottom of her neck approached.
        “He-he-hello s-sir!” She quickly stammered.
        I just merely wave a hand and reply, “Hey. You need anything?”
        She nodded urgently, “Y-yes sir, I’m to show you to your room. F-follow me please!”
        “Alright, lead the way Ma’am.”
        I took a place beside her and followed her through the castle halls. She had a hard time keeping still and she kept frantically looking at me and turning away when I returned her glance.
        “Are you alright ma’am?”
        “Y-yes, I’m fine s-sir!”
        “Are you sure? You seem reall-”
        She stopped in front of a door and opened it.
        “W-we’re here, sir! C-call me if you need me!”
        She turned to walk away, but I called out to stop her, “Wait! What’s your name ma’am?”
        She jumped a inch then sighed and turned back around, “Inkwell, s-sir!”
I waved a farewell and walked through the open door to my quarters. The room seemed pretty simple for one inside of a castle. The room was garnished with a red rug, but not much else. In the center of room, against the wall, was a bed with navy blue sheets and similarly-colored pillows. The bed was as wide as a queen sized bed back home, but the length between the foot of the bed and the backboard was much shorter than I’m used to. It’s not exactly surprising since it was meant for quadrupeds, but you would think they would have a room suited for a minotaur that I could use. Oh well.
        I took a look outside through a window. It looks like I have another hour or so until nightfall; Luna will be looking for me then. Content, I left the room and took note of its number: 5. I waited outside my room for a few minutes until I got tired of waiting for someone to pass by and resolved to just walk around the castle until I can find a guard or Inkwell again.
        I found two guards stationed outside a door and asked them what I could do around the castle to pass time. One of them told me of the various things meant for guests, but I had already made up my mind when he mentioned the royal garden. He gave me directions to the gate outside and so I left him to his post once again.
        Left. Pass the intersection. Right. Throu-
        “H-hello sir, do you need anything?”
        I spun around and saw that Inkwell had found me again. I shook my head and said, “No, I’m fine. Thank you for asking Inkwell, but feel free to call me Richard instead of sir.”
        “Y-yes si- Richard.”
        I patted the top of her head, “No need to be so nervous, Inkwell. I’ll see you around.”
        I passed through the castle door to the gardens outside. Off to the right was what looked to be a giant hedge maze. To the left was more of what I was expecting. A sort of mini forest if you will.
        I entered the garden and was pleasantly surprised to see various animals roaming around. Some I did not recognize, but I did see creatures like rabbits and a turtle like from back home.
        I walked up to said turtle and bent down in front of it. The slow creature just looked up at my face and opened its mouth in a yawning motion.
        “Hello? Do you talk turtle?”
        I stared at it a bit longer before I realized it wasn’t going to respond. I’m not sure why, but I expected it to speak. Just seemed plausible after waking up in a world inhabited by talking ponies and mythical creatures.
        I shrugged it off and continued walking through the garden. I admired the natural beauty of it and stopped in a field. The field was covered in a short, very green grass free of blights or imperfections.
        I walked to the center of the field and laid back and put my hands behind my head so I could watch the sky and relax. The darkness of the night had started settling in and the sun’s last rays of the day were hardly visible.
        I stared at the changing sky until finally the light was replaced with darkness. The sky was broken apart by stars haphazardly laid out, forming unfamiliar constellations. I studied the formations until I became aware of a presence approaching. I sat up and turned to face my visitor.
        A midnight blue alicorn mare, like Celestia but shorter, with a mane speckling with stars had come to visit me.
        I took the initiative and stated, “I assume you are Luna? Name’s Richard, Celestia told me you would visit me.”
        “Thou is correct in thy assumption. Does thou enjoy my night?”
        I raised an eyebrow at that, “Your night? Do you mean you designed it all?”
        “Of course, I am the princess of the night.”
        “The-” Luna, night. I facepalmed and groaned, “Oh. Luna, moon and all that, how did I not see that before?”
        I regained my composition and discussed the same things as I did earlier with Celestia. Luna seemed pretty down to earth, but the way she spoke made it seem like I was in a shakespeare play.
        “So, why do you speak archaic?”
        “I was banished by my sister to the moon for a millennium until recent times.”
        “Oka-” I backtracked on that thought, “a millennium?! Holy shit, how old are you?”
        Luna just waved a hoof at me and blushed, “One does not ask a lady her age.”
        We sat in silence for a brief moment before I spoke up, “Well, I’m getting tired. I’ll be retiring for the night, if you ever need help adjusting to modern language, feel free to come visit me again.”
        She nodded, “I shall remember that, farewell Richard.”
        “Goodnight.”
        I left the garden and found my way through the castle back to my room. I tried to lock the door, but quickly found that it does not even have a lock. These ponies must be trusting, oh well.
Lacking a change of clothes to wear besides the pants and shirt I had on and the rest of my ACUs, I just laid down in what I woke up in.
        Sleep took little time in overtaking me and I quickly found myself in a black void. I tried turning around, but couldn’t. I felt fear envelop my still body. No no no, why can’t I move? A talon reached over my right side and laid itself upon my shoulder.
        “Good, you’re finally here. I thought you would never leave that princess to join me.”
        I tried turning to face whoever or whatever was talking to me, but still found my body to be unresponsive. I started trying to thrash my arms to at least try and turn a little bit. Whatever force was holding me disappeared and I spun around and was rewarded with a heavy sense of vertigo for my efforts.
        After my head stopped reeling, I scanned the void around me. The talon and its owner was gone, but its voice stayed.
        “I summoned you upon the event of your death, Richard. You did not truly die, as I called upon your form before you were consumed by the explosion. However, I summoned you to complete a task.”
        The voice trailed off and so I asked it, “And what is this task? And why me?”
        A cackle pierced my ears, “Hahahah! You see, I am the harbinger of harmony. Before harmony came chaos. My immortal life has allowed me to control this realm you currently reside in and my favorite playthings, the ponies of Equestria, are in mortal danger. I watched your sacrifice for the greater good, even at the cost of your life to those that you have never met.”
        “Alright, but what dangers are they facing and how can I help?”
        “Two old monarchs will rise again and cooperate to invade Equestria. I will let you decide as to what to do, however, you will not remember the details of this conversation. You will remember what I have said, but not who said it. It will become a feeling you cannot ignore. Stop the invasion and keep my playthings from enslavement and death and I will grant you one reward of any nature. Now leave.”
        The darkness around me remained unchanged, but once again a sense of vertigo overcame me as the nothingness I stood upon gave in and I fell through the endless void.

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         Chapter 3 - Something Something Timeskip          
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Chapter 3 - Something Something Timeskip
Smack.
        I pulled myself off the floor where I landed face first and sat on the bed.
        “Argh- fuck that hurt.”
        I rubbed my face with my hands and groaned. I sat in silence for a few moments until I walked to a window and peeked outside. The sun was barely over the horizon and the slice of Canterlot outside my window had a few ponies wandering about.
        I breathed in the fresh morning air. But along with that air came the unwashed stench of sweat. Damn, I have to shower.
        I walked away from the window and made my way into the bathroom. I guess you could say it was like bathrooms on Earth. You know, except for the fact that I would have to crouch down to use the sink, the shower was more the size of a hot tub than a regular tub, and don’t even get me started on the toilet.
        I fiddled with the knobs at the shower. Water streamed out of the shower head, which was conveniently located at neck height. I tried adjusting the nozzle, but had no luck in getting it to adjust. Damnit.
        One good thing about the shower is that there was a constant supply of warm water, so while I did have to bend down to wash myself, at least I wasn’t freezing my ass off doing so.
        The shower lacked soap, but it did have plenty of the shampoo equivalent. I’m not sure what I was expecting considering ponies are covered in fur, but come on! Regardless, I washed myself and dried myself off with a towel.
        Wait… Fuck I forget to look into getting new clothes. I sighed and resided in wearing the same exact outfit. ACU pants and an undershirt.
        Might as well go talk to Celestia to see about getting some clothes.
        I left my room and made my way to the throne room. Pretty much every pony I passed by stopped what they were doing and just started at me. However, the guards posted around the castle did not seem to pay any more attention to me than anyone else. Must’ve been briefed already.
        When I arrived, no guards were posted inside, but two sat outside. One of them lifted a hoof to block my path, but the other looked at him and nodded. The first one took the visual cue and let me pass. I walked in and saw that Celestia sat in a seat positioned at middle of the end of the room.
        I looked around and took notice of stained-glass windows adorning the walls. Each depicted some sort of event. One looked to be six ponies firing some laser at a much larger -and darker- pony. Another was of two alicorns, I assume Celestia and Luna, circling some weird ass creature. I’d have to ask about that.
        “Welcome Richard, what can I do for?”
        I directed my attention back to Celestia and answered her, “Well, since I’ve been here, I’ve lacked a change of clothes and am wondering where I can get the services of a tailor. Besides that, not much. However, I do want to know what that glass mirror over there depicts.”
        I pointed to the image of the two alicorns and the creature and put my hand back down.
        “I can send a servant to your room to acquire your measurements and a tailor will make you new clothing. I don’t suppose you mind what it looks like?”
        I shrugged, “As long as it’s not frilly or too colorful, I’m fine. Practical use over design.”
        Celestia nodded, “Then I will make sure of that. As for the window… That is of my sister and I using the elements of harmony to trap Discord in stone.”
        “Alright, soo... who’s Discord?”
        “Discord is a draconequus. He is chaos incarnate and his physical appearance is just a reminder. His body has similarities to several species, but as far as anypony knows, he is the only one of his kind.”
        I frowned, “Well, that’s depressing. Is he still encased in stone?”
        “Yes, he is.”
        “Alright then, I have nothing else to ask, so I’ll just leave you to do… whatever you do.”
        We said our farewells and I left both the throne room and the castle. I found my way to a clearing out behind the castle near a maze. The clearing had a platoon of guards running in formation of four squads arranged in columns around the edge of the clearing. In the center of the clearing was a single white unicorn stallion. His hair consisted of several shades of blue and he wore a lavender colored armor, but lacked a helmet. His armor was trimmed with a gold outline while that of the guards running around the clearing had armor composed of pure gold.
        The stallion in question took notice of my appearance and motioned for me to approach. The platoon made their rounds by me and I continued after they passed.
        “Whitestorm! Pick up the pace or your entire squad will do push-ups till dawn!” Shining armor yelled at a pegasus guard falling behind the platoon.
        “Yes sir!”
The guard picked up his pace and quickly caught up, possibly fearing his life because of this stallion or perhaps because of his squad if they are forced to do push-ups because of him.
        Ahh. Peer pressure is such a great way to motivate.
        I stopped in front of him and held out my hand to shake his. Then I promptly remembered our height difference. Most ponies are about two feet shorter than myself. Being 5”9’ put at around average in the U.S., but here, compared to ponies I was an anomaly. However, both Luna and Celestia were my height, take a couple inches.
        Regardless, he used his hoof to shake my hand and introduced himself, “Hello Richard, Captain Shining Armor of the Equestrian Solar Guards. Celestia informed us you were involved in your world’s military. What position did you hold?”
        Quick and to the point. I like this guy.
        “Private. I was deployed out in the field before arriving here. I’ve had training in close-combat situations. My duty was to protect and uphold the peace.”
        Shining Armor turned his head to check on the progress of the platoon and satisfied, looked back at me.
        “Normally I would not consider this, but since you are previously trained and possibly have knowledge we can use, I am offering a position in the Solar Guard without having to go to bootcamp. I assume you have done something like that before, yes?”
        “Yeah. I accept your offer Captain Armor, however, first I have to get some measurements done back at my room for new clothes.”
        He smiled, “Perfect, I’ll have one of my lieutenants escort you to the barracks in around twenty minutes. We will discuss more on this topic later Richard. Unless you have any more questions, you are dismissed.”
        I straightened my posture and saluted him, “Yes Captain!”
        He saluted in return, “Just call me sir.”
        “Yes Sir!”
        I held my salute until he dropped his salute and took one step backwards and turned around. I entered the castle and made my ways through the halls until I found my room.
        Just gotta get my measurements taken and I should be good.
        I entered and found Inkwell waiting for me inside. I waved at her in greeting.
        “Hey Inkwell, what’s up?”
        She looked up at the ceiling and looked back to me. I could see she was biting her lip and her face screamed nervous.
        “U-u-uhh… I don’t know Richard.”
        I closed the door behind me and walked up to her and rubbed the top of her head, “What did I say about being nervous, Inkwell? No need to be. Also saying ‘what’s up’ is a greeting where I’m from. So, what do you need?”
        She looked up at me as I removed my hand from her head and said, “I’m here to take your measurements.”
        The way she was looking at me was overwhelming with cute. Damn, these ponies are just too adorable for their own good.
        “I’m going to have to ask you to take off your clothes.”
        “Oka- Wait what.”
        “The princess told me to get your measurements for new clothing. That means I need you to take what you’re wearing off.”
        I sighed, “Alright then.” I stripped down to nothing and stood near the doorway, facing the bed. I waited for her to finish gawking at me.
        “Your-”
        I held up a hand, “Just start measuring, I don’t want to hear the rest of what you are about to say.”
 I had to bend down so she could measure my upper body. Any awkwardness while she measured my lower half died off after a few minutes and and I started making small talk.
        That was, until the door opened from behind me.
        “Pri- Oh… uh- I’ll wait outside.”
        Aw, come on. I turned around to watch the door close shut.
        Wait…
        I looked back at Inkwell who was now a shade of purple as she stopped measuring my thigh from in front of me.
        I looked back at the door.
        Fuck me.
That’s exactly what he thought she was doing.
        I groaned and waved my hand, “Urgh- Continue, I’ll take care of it once you’re done.”
        She finished the measurements after a few more minutes and I re-dressed, grabbed my ACU coat and stepped out after her. We said our farewells and I informed her that I would be residing in the Solar Guard barracks. She wandered off down the hall while I approached the guard standing outside my door.
        He wore the standard armor, gray fur, and had a green mane poking out of his helmet along with his green tail..
        He took the initiative and spoke, “Sorry to interrupt your fun, Private Richard. I’m here to bring you to our barracks.”
        I waved my hands side-to-side in front of me and shook my head furiously, “It was not what you think it was! She was just taking measurements for new clothing!”
        “Sure, and I’m a virgin,” he deadpanned.
        “Anyways, let’s get going. Follow me.”
        I sighed and resigned myself to my fate whilst I took a place beside him.

//-------------------------------------------------------//
              Chapter 4 - Don't stop walking               
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Chapter 4 - Don't stop walking
        The guard and I entered an unfamiliar hall- unfamiliar to me at least.
        “So, what’s your name?”
        “Alabaster.”
        “Alabaster? You know why your parents named you that?”
        He turned to me and raised an eyebrow, “You know why your parents called you Richard?”
        I held a hand out, palm up, and replied, “Actually… Richard is my last name.”
        “Last name? What’s a last name?”
        Well, this guy doesn’t know a last name is so ponies must not use them. I wonder how they keep track of family.
        I explained to him about last names, how they are acquired (birth, marriage, etc), and their use in the U.S. Military.
        “Okay. So what’s your first name?”
        We passed into another hall, this one was much less regal. Must be for the working class in the palace.
        “Just call me Richard, I’m used to it.”
        “Okay, but what’s your first name? I want to know.”
        I sighed, “There’s no way in hell I’m telling anyone here, I’ve not exactly had a good history with it.”
        He smirked, “It can’t possibly be that bad?”
        We were approaching a set of closed double doors with Celestia’s thigh mark centered on the front.
        “I mean, it’s not exactly a bad name, I just got a lot of flak from other people while growing up because of it.”
        We stopped in front of the door and he asked me again, “So… can you tell me? I promise I won’t tell anyone!”
        “Argh- fine. But when the only alien in this world is not an enigma because you damn ponies ask me everything about me, I blame you. My first name is Jesse.”
        He tilted his head just a bit, “Jesse? Never heard of it, why would anyone mess with you because of it?”
        Oh yeah, ponies don’t exactly have the same names as we do. Welp, there goes me worrying about nothing.
        “Jessie is pronounced the same way as Jesse, which Jessie -with an i- is namely a name for females while Jesse is a male variation of it.”
        Alabaster opened the door and we both walked in.
        “Huh. People from your world sure can be mean.”
        “Yeah, tell me about it. Speaking of that, how are all the ponies I’ve seen mainly cool and perfectly fine with an alien suddenly appearing?” I asked while taking a look around the hallway we entered.
        “I guess it’s because people are just used to it. Even though you are the first alien, you are not the first new species. Our world is full of sentient beings, so just one more is not much of a difference.”
        Well, that explains a lot. However, I really do gotta find out more about this world.
        On either side was an intricate pattern going all the way down the length of the hallway. The pattern looked to be a wave-like line and every three crests a pony would be standing on top of it. The pony itself would change between the basic three races Celestia had told me about yesterday.
        After every third pony, a door to a room would be placed. Each door was numbered and by a quick count, I estimated a good thirty in this hallway. I wonder how many ponies are actually in the Solar Guard. Hm, questions for another time.
        The doors were numbered in a pattern. Starting with the left side, to the right, left up one, and so on. He led me down this new hallway and we passed an intersection after room seven. Down that way I saw a few other rooms. Probably rooms like the showers and the canteen.
        You know what? No time like the present.
        “Just how many Solar Guards are there?”
        He kept trotting towards the back of the hallway as he answered, “Since we’ve not had a war or any major conflict in around… a thousand or so years, we’ve not had a large number of active service members. This barracks has capacity for 120, but we only have ninety three currently not including you.”
        Hmm… ninety three. I wonder what they do most of the time.
        “Since you guys only have so many guards, what do you do most of the time?”
        He stopped in front of door twenty four.
        “Here we are, you’ll be sleeping in this room. As for what we do… we normally just guard the castle and royal events. The city guard takes care of Canterlot itself and other towns and cities have similar systems. Anyways, Captain Shining Armor told me to inform you that you have today off, but you will joining the rest of us as usual at dawn tomorrow morning.”
        I waved a hand in farewell, “Alright, well thanks Alabaster. I’ll see you around.”
        “Bye Jesse.”
        I entered the room and found it to be much more spacious then I’m used to in a barracks. The room had four beds, which sadly, each were small as hell and regardless of how I will lay on it, my feet would be hanging off the edge. They were also bolted to the floor, so there goes moving two of them together.
        Also, multiple beds mean roommates. I’m guessing they are either somewhere around the castle or in the platoon Shining Armor had out for PT.

//-------------------------------------------------------//
         Chapter 5 - Surprise! The plot thickens!          
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Chapter 5 - Surprise! The plot thickens!
        I spent my time waiting just looking around the room, which took seriously no time at all considering everything was in the open. There was two desks set up on opposite sides of the rooms and next to each were two beds. Each desk had a single chair. There wasn’t anything else really in the room except for a few knick-knacks on the desks.
        I went up and starting fiddling with said knick-knacks. They were just some little puzzles to solve when you’re bored. I was trying to get the metal loop off of the little puzzle, but I kept failing. I kept trying until the door opened up and Inkwell stepped in.
        I stopped playing with the puzzle and waved a hello at her, “What’s up, Inkwell?”
        She gave me a small smile in return and replied, “Princess Celestia ordered me to join the guard with you.”
        Wait. What? Just like that? What about the boot camp thing she has set up?
        “She ordered you to join the guard? Why?”
        She gave me what I guess is the pony equivalent of a shrug, which is just lowering the front of her body by two inches or so and standing back up.
        “I’m not sure why exactly. All I know is that she wants me to stay with you.”
        Well that’s strange. I gotta ask someone higher up about this, preferably Celestia next time I see her.
        “Alright, we-”
        The door slammed open and an orange earth stallion bounded through the door. His red mane was cut into a mohawk.
        “Hey there, newbies! Welcome to Charlie company, fourth squad! I am Sergeant Dawn and I am your squad leader!”
        I pointed to myself, “Private Richard”.
        Inkwell seemed scared out of her wits from the sudden appearance and Dawn practically yelling into her face and did not answer.
        “Well, com’on! We don’t have all day!”
        Dawn walked out the door and I had to poke Inkwell in her side a few times to get her to snap out of her frightened state and follow.
        We caught up to Dawn and we walked through the hallway that intersects the main residential section. He pointed out what each room was and we would take a quick peek inside. The canteen was the first room on the right and it was pretty spacious. Plenty of room for a hundred or so hungry guards.
        However, the first door on the left was the showers. The room may have been a little too spacious, as Inkwell seemed nervous that there was no barriers between the seperate shower heads. I asked her why it would bother her when they are naked anyways. She just said it’s different. Meh, must be a pony thing.
        Dawn made a comment about how she’ll have to get used to it as they don’t make exceptions, even for the female members.
        He then led us to the end of the hallway, which had six more rooms. Four were rooms for lieutenants, only three in use currently, and a single room for Captain Shining Armor. The last was a training room.
        It was fairly large and was clear of pretty much everything except for racks at the side which had swords, shields, bows, and spears.
        “-and I was like, bam! Bam! Slam! I took out all three of them in seconds!” Dawn bragged more about his past friendly spars with some of the other guards.
        “That’s awesome, but” -I motioned to the various racks- “what’s with the weapons and shields? How would you guys even use them?”
 “Unicorns use their magic, pegasi fly while they carry them with their hooves, and-”
He stopped and looked confused for a second.
“How do we earth ponies even use them?”
He shrugged, “I guess we just use one single-hoofed weapon or shield. I’m not sure if we could dual-wield unless we stood on our back hooves, which only a few ponies I’ve seen can do.”
Dawn pulled each type of weapon from the rack and handed it to Inkwell and me to try out. The bows had actual sharp arrows, which Dawn told us they were enchanted to do no harm for training purposes. Hm. I wonder how often someone randomly gets shot.
The sword was a new experience for me as all I ever had used was my M16 and a knife. Same with the spear and shield. It felt really… medieval to be using it all. My shot with the bow was just horrible. I guess I’m okay with a sword, I’ve had training in close combat with blades, just not as long as the one I was shown.
The spear was a completely different story, I had some trouble adjusting, but I was able to maneuver quickly as it was a lot lighter than the sword and even though it was much longer than I was used to, it was like practicing with one of those wooden poles me and my squadmates had once sparred with.
I’m not exactly sure what I had to do with the shield, so I kind of just made myself as small of a target as possible and hid behind it while messing around with it. It had two straps I could use to put it on my forearm, which I assume was made for a front hoof, but it works well enough regardless.
The entire time Dawn had been bragging about past victories and I offered to duel him for the hell of it. He told me I would get my chance tomorrow and that it was time to go back to our room.
He led us back to our room and left me and Inkwell with a copy of “Rules and Guidelines of the Equestrian Solar Guard”. He walked out and told us to read up. Me and Inkwell each sat down in a chair and brought it up to one of the desks and opened up to the first chapter.
Ponies don’t sit in chairs like humans normally do, they tend to sit on their haunches with their front legs holding them up. It was similar, but they had a different posture so it made it more natural to sit like cats than humans.
The first chapter of the book was on the different ranks in the guard, namely Private, Corporal, Sergeant, Lieutenant, and Captain. It was missing the various ranks in-between. I’m guessing since the low amount of guards and the fact that barely anything has happened and so extra ranks are not needed for organization.
It also told us various info about each rank, such as proper titles and such. Call privates private, corporals corporal, and so on. Hah, I remember my first time calling a sergeant sir. He was not happy and made me run until I could barely move my legs because of the blinding burn I felt.
Whenever Inkwell had trouble understanding one thing or another, I would explain it to her in detail until she got it.
Eventually, Dawn came back and told us that it’s time to eat. He led us back to the canteen. We followed him inside and then to a table with four other ponies sitting down.
Dawn explained to us, “This is the rest of fourth squad. that there” -He raised a hoof at a yellow unicorn with a blue mane- “is Seeker.”
Seeker nodded his head, “Welcome friends.”
Dawn pointed at two pegasi, the first one had a white coat and mane with buzzcut hair, almost unnoticeable with his similarly-colored coat, while the other was dark brown with a black mane. They were Breeze and Switch, respectively.
Breeze waved his hooves wildly in the air, “Hey! New squadmates, awesome!”
        ...then promptly fell face first into his tray of salad.
        Ponies. Heh.
        Switch, however, looked up from where he was glaring at his salad and growled, “Hello.”
        “And lastly, this is Chasm.”
        The last pony he pointed to was a completely black earth pony.
        He resolved his reaction to merely waving a hoof at us while he ate his salad.
        Breeze pulled his face out of his salad and Inkwell practically whispered, “Hi…”
        I chuckled a bit at her shyness and stated myself, “Hey guys, glad to meet you all. I’m Richard and this” -I pointed to Inkwell- “is Inkwell.”
        Inkwell, Dawn, and I went to a counter filled with food and grabbed various things. Turns out that ponies each fish, namely Pegasi, but the other two races can also eat it, Pegasi just have a natural liking to it.
        We sat back with the rest of the squad and I learned more about each of the ponies. Chasm did not talk once while we were there. It kind of disturbed me to see someone so silent. I gotta ask Dawn about that once we are back in our room.
        Besides him, I found out that Breeze is constantly joyful and never seemed completely interested in anything someone had to say. His polar opposite, Switch, was a walking ball of hate. He always grumbled something along the lines of, “I hate lettuce. I hate forks. I hate talking.”
        It was pretty funny to say the least.
Last was seeker. He was way different from the rest of our squad. He was an enigma to me at least. He did talk, but he always seemed calm about everything. He would occasionally quote something from random ponies from the past whenever the quote became relevant to our topic.
        Between their personalities, and Dawn’s ego, I would say we have a pretty diverse squad. Is every squad like this? I took a look around at some of the other tables and noticed a distinct lack of crazy.
        Guess not.
        We kept socializing with our squad until everyone at our table finished and we left to the showers. Before we reached the other side of the hall, I informed my squad I had to check the room for clothes. Inkwell decided to follow me and on the way back to the room, she spoke up.
        “I don’t know if I can shower with all of them by me… what if they stare?”
        I rubbed the top of her head as we walked and replied, “It’ll be fine, trust me. I’ll make sure none of them try anything.”
        “Would you really be able to?”
        “Yes, I promise.”
        Not entirely sure what the deal is, considering they are all naked anyways, but I’ll still make sure the stallions don’t try anything regardless.
        “Thank you Richard,” she nuzzled my side and kept her barrel pressed up against me.
        Must be a comfort thing.
        I opened the door to our room and held it open only for her to tell me to go in and that she’ll wait outside. I shrugged and walked in.
        On a desk was a stack of fabric, which I assume is my clothing. After a quick check, I found it had two jeans and two pairs of shorts along with four basic grey shorts. The jeans had two pockets on the side below my hips and two more below my knee caps and on the side also.
        I grabbed a pair of shorts and a shirt and headed back out through the room. Inkwell and I walked back to the showers in silence. I got a few looks from some of the guards inside already showering when they saw Inkwell leaning up against me, but I brushed it all off. Besides, I’m only helping a friend.
        I placed my clothes on a bench near a corner that Inkwell claimed for herself. I undressed and quickly bathed myself under the shower head adjacent to hers. Thankfully, no one bothered her. Regardless, I still think it’s silly. It’s not like water cascading down her th… never mind. If that happened back on Earth, I’m pretty sure most guys would not hesitate to check a girl out. Clothed or not.
        Regardless, the showering went off without a hitch and we were back in our room in no time. Dawn was still not back yet, so I just picked one of the beds on the right side when entering and hoped it was not his. Inkwell decided on picking the other bed on the same side, so she was about three or so feet away.
        I ended up sleeping diagonally across the bed, but regardless, my feet hung over the edge and it constantly felt like I was being pulled off the bed. It sucked and it made me miss the bed I had the night before, but I’ll just have to deal with it for now. I’ll make sure to mention it when I meet my platoon leader.
        For now though… now it’s time to relax.

//-------------------------------------------------------//
Chapter 7 - Come One! Come All! Come Read My Terrible Fighting Scenes!
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Chapter 7 - Come One! Come All! Come Read My Terrible Fighting Scenes!
        We arrived back at our room. Breeze had split off to go talk to Switch sometime after lunch.
Lunch itself was fun, our squad laughed and joked the entire time. Except for Switch and Chasm. I still don’t think I’ve heard Chasm talk. Anyways, Switch was just complaining about everything, but seemed to be less- hateful about everything once Breeze started talking to him.
I entered with Inkwell following closely behind and stopped in front of my bed to stretch my back. I could feel and hear my back pop in a few places and I felt much more relaxed than I had in days. I looked over and saw an assortment of various armored items on the desk closest to my bed.
        I walked over and inspected the equipment.
        Chest piece, leggings, helmet, boots, and gloves. The entire set was golden like that of the majority of the guard’s armor.
        The spar is in a few minutes, so I better get this armor on.
        Inkwell trotted over to her bed and climbed up. She laid herself down to watch me as I put on my armor.
        I took off my shorts and replaced them with a pair of pants, as I don’t want the leggings to scuff my skin.
First up, I slipped on the armor leggings.
        Whoever forged these did a fine job, as the leggings fit perfectly to my form and they kept me protected while still allowing me to have a full range of movement.
        Next up, I donned the chest plate. The plate fit just as well as the leggings. However, the what would have been empty space between the gloves and the chest plate was covered by chain mail. The shoulders stood out like Dawn during one of his speeches. They just screamed strength and confidence. It was like having a large brick on both shoulders.
        The helmet was pretty much exactly like one of the ones the guard wore. I think the only difference would be the shape, mainly the front where a piece of it protected the forehead.
        Lastly, I put on the boots and tested my movement in the armor. The weight was left almost unnoticed, surprisingly. I wonder if they had it enchanted or something like that. I mean, they do have magic, so I can’t be that far off.
        I twisted my arms and legs around and felt extremely satisfied with what I received. I half expected just to get a chest place and helmet like the pony guards did. I guess whoever created the armor realized that it would not be that efficient since if I had one leg cut down I would not be able to fight. Same with my arms.
        Though, that makes me wonder why they have not done that for the guard ponies. Perhaps this time of peace has made them require less and less equipment, so they just use generic-sized suits of armor which only cover the basics to save costs.
        I’m unique, so either way they would have had to make something so I guess they went all out with it.
        I turned to Inkwell and struck a pose, “So, how does it look?”
        She stared at me, mouth agape, “It looks… amazing. I’ve never seen anything like it before!”
        I chuckled a bit and imagined if I told my past self I would be wearing something like this. I would probably call myself crazy and talk about how bullet proof vests are the future, not suits of armor.
        She walked beside me as we left the room and made our way over to the training hall. Inside, the rest of our squad and most of the other squads was waiting inside. They weren’t standing in formation, rather just in clusters talking to each other.
        A few looked at me, most of those which did seemed impressed by my armor. I can’t say I don’t agree, this armor is fucking awesome. Inkwell and I joined up with the rest of our squad and we walked up to hear Dawn claiming that he is undefeated in our squad.
        “Undefeated? Let’s see if that stands true after today.”
        Dawn puffed his chest out at me, “Oh it will! You’re gonna get wrecked!”
        Breeze started hopping up and down, “Oh! Oh! Oh! Dawn and Richard are gonna fight! They’re going to fight!”
        I waved my hand at Breeze, “Yeah we will, we just gotta wait till we get the chance.”
        Alabaster shouted, “Fall in!”
        The groups scattered and quickly reformed into a four-squad formation and we waited until every guard in our platoon was accounted for.
        “For all of you who don’t know what to do, you will spar with another member of your squad. The winners will continue on in a tournament fashion until you have a winner.”
        He called each squad individually into a separate corner and spoke with them. We waited until we were finally brought towards the front of the room and he informed us of the first round of contestants.
        “Alright, first Inkwell and Chasm, Breeze and Switch, Seeker and Richard, and Dawn with the first winner, and so on. Got it?”
        We responded with a quick, “Yes sir,” and he left us to our devices.
        Dawn spoke up, “Inkwell and Chasm, you two are up first.”
        Everyone but Inkwell and Chasm stepped away from the center. Dawn grabbed a spear from a nearby rack and tossed it to Chasm, who caught it with a single hoof and used it to hold himself up.
        I could feel the nervousness rolling off Inkwell in waves as she was passed a spear by Dawn. She gripped it with her magic and held it in front of her
        Dawn started a countdown, “Ready.”
        Inkwell’s spear fidgeted.
        “Set.”
        Chasm stood up on his back hooves and grabbed the spear with both front hooves.
        Well damn- he’s one of those ponies who has the balance to stand up.
        “Go!”
        Inkwell sent her spear flying forward. Chasm expertly dodged it and flicked his to catch the base of the head of her’s. He spun his entire body around and forced her spear to fly out of control. Her spear clattered across the floor as he turned back to her and swung his spear over himself and stopped right above her head.
        He gave her a small bow and they walked out of the impromptu arena. Inkwell walked over to where I stood and sat on her haunches and looked up at me. I gave her a small smile and looked back at Chasm.
        Damn. He’s fast on his feet and he put Inkwell down in seconds! It would be quite the challenge to go against him. I’m not sure if I could win against him after seeing that.
        Switch grabbed the spear from Chasm while Breeze picked up Inkwell’s.
        They walked to opposite sides of our arena.
        “Oooh! This is gonna be fun!”
        “I hate spears.”
        They both spread out their wings and lifted themselves from the ground.
        Dawn counted down once more, and once he finished, it sure was a sight to see. Both of them duel-wielded their spears as they flew at each other, metal clashing against metal. Each swing by one was met by the other. Unless I knew otherwise, I would say it was like watching someone fight a mirror of themself.
        The two fought it out until Breeze made a mistake and Switch forced Breeze to drop his spear. Breeze was doomed after that, as it only took a second before the spear head was at his throat. Not that it would hurt him, with the enchantments and all. Still, the speed of these ponies is amazing.
        The two of them landed and Switch handed his spear to Seeker. I walked over to where Breeze’s spear had fallen and picked it up. I think I quite enjoy spears Light-weight, sharp, long. Perfect!
        I walked into position across from seeker and gripped the spear with both hands and held it diagonally across my chest.
        I gave him a quick nod and stated, “Good luck.”
        “Ready.”
        I looked at Seeker and watched as he levitated the spear in front of him in the same position as mine.
        “You too.”
        “Set.”
I gripped harder on the shaft of my spear and prepared to fight.
        “Go!”
        I pushed myself to the left with my right foot and finished my feint by using my left foot to stop myself and leap to the right of Seeker. I swung my spear at him while he was turned away.
        He had fallen for my feint and had turned to his right while I approached his left. However, he caught himself and levitated his spear in front of me to block my attack.
        He continued by pushing me… with magic. I was caught surprised by that, and stumbled backwards as I tried to catch myself.
        He decided to use that moment to try and stab me. I took his over-confidence and worked it against him as he thrusted a bit too far and I copied what I saw Chasm do. I dodged to the right and caught the end of his spear with my own and swung it away from him, forcing his magic grip on it to shatter.
        I finished it with a leap towards Seeker and a swing that stopped at his neck.
        I pulled my spear back and told him, “Good fight, Seeker.”
        “You too, Richard. You performed well.”
        He walked to reclaim his spear while I passed mine off to Chasm, who trotted into the arena.
        Seeker handed his spear off to Dawn. They two of them waited in silence.
        Oh shit, yeah, gotta do a countdown since Dawn is fighting.
        I sounded off, “Ready.”
        Chasm remained still with impressive patience while Dawn moved around a lot, just waiting to start.
        “Set.”
        “G-”
        Dawn leaped forward and sent blow after blow after Chasm, who dodged half and blocked the rest. However, after a good fifteen seconds of being on the defensive, Chasm slipped and shot a hoof down to the ground to stabilize himself.
        That proved to be his downfall, as Dawn already had him by the neck before he could lift his spear back up.
        The two of them left, passing the spears off to me and Switch.
        The spar between him and I was very much like Dawn’s and Chasm’s, except Switch was the aggressor and he kept swooping around me and trying to defeat me from above.
        However, I found a pattern in his flight and at the right time, thrusted my spear into the air where he zoomed by. The spear poked him in the chest and so descended to the ground.
        “I hate spars.”
        Switch tossed his spear to Dawn.
        Final fight, here we come!
        Dawn walked up to replace Switch.
        “You ready Dawn?”
        “Yeah I am, I’m going to kick your flank!”
        “We’ll see about that.”
        I slid my right foot back to hold myself in case Dawn charged right off the bat. Breeze counted down.
        Alright, so he’s fast- but he tends to be overly aggressive, perhaps I can force him onto my spear if he jumps at me.
        “Go!”
        Instead of the charge I was expecting, Dawn stood still. He was using one hoof to hold the spear. If I can get his other hoof off the ground, I’ll get the advantage. Unless if he can stand like Chasm, then I’d have a much harder time. Though I did not see him stand like that in his earlier fight.
        Perhaps he purposely did not. Regardless, I must be cautious.
        Left hoof.
        I sprinted to the right and swung my spear in a wide arc towards his front left hoof. He jumped back and once my swing passed his original position, leaped at me.
        I shoved the back of my spear into the ground and pointed it to his incoming chest.
        These may be enchanted, but damn will this hurt.
        I braced for impact, but Dawn twisted himself upside down, mid jump and the spear impacted his armor, but rather than delivering what would’ve been a lethal hit, if not enchanted, his armor caught on the tip and my spear fell down along with him.
        The arc he and my spear followed flipped him back on his hooves and he charged at me.
        Now this is the point where I decide I’m pretty much fucked, my spear is on the ground and there is no way I can get it before he reaches me.
        So, I did the one thing any man would do in a time of desperate need.
        I prayed to Chuck Norris to that this will work.
        I pulled my right leg back, then using my left ankle to pivot my body, I brought my right leg soaring in an arc and attempted a roundhouse kick.
        Which I completely failed and promptly fell on my ass.
        Dawn brought the tip of the spear up to my neck while I tried to get up.
        Damn, I doubt I’ll hear the end of this.
        Breeze was laughing at me as I pulled myself up.
        “Good fight Dawn, definitely got the better of me.”
        He smirked and replied, “Yeah, and you better remember it!”
        Breeze continued laughing his ass off and pointed a shaky hoof at me, “Hahahaha! That last kick was funny! You messed up big time!”
        I rubbed the back of my head and turned my head towards the floor, “Yeah, I really did mess that up. I’ve only seen it done by other people.”
        “Why did you try it then?” Inkwell asked.
        I shrugged, “Thought I could pull it off.”
        Dawn gave me a smug grin, “Well you didn’t! Good try though.”
        Breeze hopped in small circles, “Oh! But if you did, I bet he would’ve gotten knocked out by it! It sure looked powerful and I bet you can knock out anypony with it!”
        The seven of us sat back and watched as the other squads finished up their competitions. Two of the other winners were unicorns and the last one was a pegasus.
        Alabaster dismissed our platoon. However, night had fallen and so Dawn, Inkwell, and I left to head back to our room.
        Dawn was talking about how tomorrow after guard duty, that the rest of the squad will be heading out to the bar. Both Inkwell and I agreed to go with them.
        We made it back to our room and I took off my armor and threw it in a pile. Tired as hell, I collapsed onto my bed and closed my eyes.
        You know… what if I don’t get home?
        I’m not even sure how I got here, so would I ever be able to go back?
        Regardless, I need to think about the future.
        What will I do? Settle down- but with who?
        I mean- these ponies, wouldn’t that be beastality? Wait no- that would be xenophilia. They are sentient. And besides that, I know almost no mares. I’ve seen some around the castle, but still.
        There’s Inkwell, Celestia, that Twilight girl, and the nurse.
        Celestia is out of the question, a ruler would definitely not do something like that with someone like me.
        No idea who Twilight or the nurse is.
        Inkwell… I guess.
        I’m not a good judge on looks, but she’s cute and she’s pretty friendly.
        Urgh- maybe in the future.
        It just seems wrong to even think about it right now.

//-------------------------------------------------------//
    Chapter 8 - I Can Write My Book With No Handle Bars    
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Chapter 8 - I Can Write My Book With No Handle Bars
        I yawned and threw my feet over the side of my bed. I pushed myself onto my feet and looked around the room. As usual when I woke up, both Inkwell and Dawn were asleep. Over on one of the desks was my armor sitting in a pile. Beside it was Inkwell’s. Both looked cleaned up.
        Hm. I wonder who did that, do the servants do it? I had figured I would have to clean it before guard duty.
        I looked down at the jeans and the shirt I was wearing. Both smelled terrible since I skipped showering and had not changed.
        I got up, grabbed a new change of clothes, and took off to the showers.
        I didn’t encounter anyone on the way to the showers, but after I left, guards were leaving their rooms to get ready for their various days.
        Once again in my room, Dawn and Inkwell were both up and were donning their armor. I dropped my dirty laundry into a bin near the door and was greeted by Inkwell.
        “Good morning Richard!”
Inkwell put her helmet on her head while she smiled at me.
I returned her jovial greeting with a wave and strolled over to the desk, “Hey Inkwell,-” I nodded towards Dawn, “- hey Dawn.”
In response, he trotted in front of me and said, “Richard, your position today will be at the entrance of the staff quarters.”
I saluted him, “Yes sir,” and he continued his path past me and out the room.
However, as he walked through the door, he called back, “After guard duty, meet the rest of us at the Bannered Mare.”
“Alright.”
I turned back to the desk and then to Inkwell as she levitated the various pieces of my suit out in front of me. I snatched the gold chest plate from her magic field and donned it.
“Thanks Inkwell, sleep well?”
I grabbed the leggings.
“Your welcome, and yes, I did. Did you sleep well, Richard?”
“That’s good to hear, and I slept okay.”
That reminds me, I still have to talk to someone about getting a larger bed.
The two of us relished each other’s company as I put on the rest of my armor.
“So, where are you stationed today, Inkwell? I’m stationed at wherever the entrance to the staff quarters is.”
“I’m stationed at the kitchen.”
Oh- she’s going to have to smell food cooking all day, sounds like torture. Though, I doubt the staff quarters is going to be any better in terms of anything going on.
I strapped on my second gauntlet and walked over to the door.
“Which kitchen? The castle’s kitchen or ours?”
Inkwell passed through the doorway and I followed closely behind.
“Castle’s kitchen. Hey Richard…” She trailed off.
I turned to look at her whilst we walked down the hall.
“Yeah, what’s up?”
She did not return my gaze, but instead was looking at the wall, away from me.
“D-d-did you have any m-marefriends back home?”
Marefrie- oh those.
I looked at the double doors emblazoned with Celestia’s thigh mark ahead of us.
“Well, they call them girlfriends from where I’m from, but anyways, not when I had left. I have not had one in- well over a year. Why did you want to know?”
I opened one of the doors and I held it open as she passed through and I took my place by her right side once more. I assume this is the staff quarters because of the lack of regal design.
        “No reason, so about later tonight. Dawn says our squad goes out every night of guard duty to a local bar.”
        Oh yeah, forgot about that for a moment. Where is it anyways?
        “Oh yeah, where in town can I find it?”
        “I’ll show you after guard duty. You’d probably forget where it is by time we finish.”
        Well, she’s right about about that.
        “Alright, sounds good. Anyways, where exactly is my post?”
        “Oh! Just keep following me, I’ll show you.”
        We kept walking until she stopped at the doorway between the hall we stood in, and the elaborately decorated hall on the other side.
        “Here we are.”
        On one side of the entrance was a white earth stallion. I stepped to the opposite side that he stood on and thanked Inkwell, “Thank you Inkwell, see you later.”
        “You're welcome, bye Richard.”
        She stepped closer to me and nuzzled the armor covering my thigh and turned away, leaving me alone with the guard beside me.
        I changed my position to parade rest. My feet spread out from each other a couple feet with my arms hands behind my back just above where I would have a belt on.
        The guard next to me spoke up, “Already getting friendly with the mares, eh?”
        I kept facing forward and replied, “Not that friendly. I’m not used to seeing another sentient species. Bit weird thinking about it. That and I doubt it’s appropriate for interspecies relationships to happen, am I right?”
        “No. Relationships like that are pretty common here. However, you said where you’re from you’re not used to seeing another sentient species, so where are you from?”
        “Not sure actually- It could be a different world, dimension, or anything of the like. Maybe I’m really a second from death and my body is experiencing massive hallucinations in its final moments.”
        “I can guarantee I’m not fake, or at least I don’t think I am. I’d hate to find out that my entire life was just a figment of someone’s imagination.”
        “Yeah… why exactly did you think I was getting to with Inkwell?”
        “Inkwell is that mare you came here with?”
        “Yeah.”
        “In all honesty, it’s pretty obvious how she feels about you.”
        Feels about me?
        “What do you mean?”
        “Eh, you must be pretty oblivious to it then. The way her face softens when she looks at you, Celestia’s sake, I’ve seen her interact with you once and it was painfully obvious.
        “The tone in her voice, how it quickened when she nuzzled you. Learn to read the subtle signs and a whole new world reveals itself to you.”
        Huh… how did I not notice that? I should start looking for the small things.
        “So, lets say she does have an interest in me. How should I approach it?”
        “With your hear-”
        Captain Shining Armor passed through the doorway and interrupted the guard next to me, “Stay quiet, you two are on guard duty. No talking.”
        The two of us answered in unison, “Yes sir!”
        The two of us stayed silent for the rest of the morning. I thought over what he said, about Inkwell having an interest in me. Thinking back on it, it is pretty obvious. That would explain why she prefers being by me whenever our squad is together, or at least part of it.
        But- do I have an interest in her? First, I find it a bit… strange. I mean, I don’t really see her and think ‘sexy’, I don’t think I’ve seen a  single pony who looks ‘sexy’. Though, she is cute. But that voice in the back of my head just tells me it’s wrong, that she is an animal.
        However, if this is real and not fake, then she truly is not. I’m not sure I’ll ever even see another human again. Hopefully I will, but regardless the physical differences between ponies and humans are there. I’m not familiar with looking at another species that way- so I don’t exactly have a reference for this kind of thing.
        Her personality seems good though, I like her that way. If she was a human, I would definitely make a move, but the species difference is putting me off. Urgh- why do I have to make this so complicated for myself?
        Eventually, Alabaster passed us and told the other guard and I to take a break and get something to eat. I finally got a good look at the guard. He had a tuft of his blond mane sticking out from his helmet and he also had light turquoise eyes.
        The two of us went back to the canteen and grabbed some lunch. It was sometime past noon and the other two platoons already ate, so pretty much only a few of our platoon’s units were eating. I didn’t spot anyone else I know while we ate.
        The guard and I, found out his name is Verum, chatted about where I’m from and what the Army back home was like. I put off thinking about Inkwell while we made small talk.
        After around maybe twenty minutes, the two of us made our way back to the post for another six hours of boring guard duty. It was perhaps the most boring thing I have done since- well, pretty much ever. Whenever I’ve done a similar job in the Army, there was at least something going on that made it even slightly entertaining. Maybe some cadets being punished, or the rising sun, something.
        I don’t care how long you stare at it, but an empty hallway won’t be the little bit interesting. Unless you're into that sort of thing- which I don’t know anyone who is remotely interested into watching a wall. I rather watch paint dry.
        Eventually, Dawn walked by my post and told me that I was dismissed for the evening, then he told me to meet the rest of the squad at the Bannered Mare in twenty minutes. I went back to our room and stripped myself of my armor and waited outside the door in the hallway for Inkwell to return.
        She arrived after a few minutes and went inside to drop off her armor. The two of us then left the castle and out the castle gate. I took a quick look around at the city from the gate.
        This is actually the first time I’ve gone out of castle grounds. All the buildings are two-three stories high. Shop stalls lined the city's streets. Most of the vendors sold some sort of luxury item like jewelry and the such. We followed the main road leading away from the castle for two blocks then turned right.
        The new street we were on was much smaller and was full of residential looking buildings rather than shops. But after passing seven of those buildings, we arrived at a ‘hole in the wall’ place. The only thing outside that regarded it’s existence was a wooden door and a small sign hanging above the door that showed a picture of a mare holding a banner.
        “This is the place?” I pointed over to the door.
        “Yes it is, lets go!”
        She nudged me forward and so I stepped forward and opened the door for the two of us. She walked past me and I scanned the room as I followed behind her.
        Inside was a few tables set up, each having two or three chairs, except for table on one side of the room. That table had five occupied chairs and two empty ones waiting beside each other. The rest of our squad besides Inkwell and I were sitting down. At the back end of the room was a counter and behind it stood what I assume is the bartender and his various drinks covered the surfaces behind him. A few other ponies littered different sections of the bar.
        I followed Inkwell up to table our squad was sitting at. The two empty seats were positioned between Seeker and Dawn. I took the seat next to Dawn and Inkwell sat between Seeker and I.
        Breeze leaned across the table and pushed two mugs filled with an amber liquid to us.
        “Drink up you two! Tonight’s the night to party!”
        The two of us pulled a mug near us whilst Switch lifted his own up and chugged it down. He then got up and took his mug to the bartender to get a refill. Inkwell looked into her mug and turned to Seeker.
        “I’ve never drank before, what is this?”
        He lifted his mug and took a sip and replied as he set it back down, “Mead, give it a try.”
        Mead? Haven’t had that before!
        I wrapped my hand around the mug rather than the handle, mainly because it was a giant ring meant for hooves, and brought it to my lips. I tilted my head back and let the mead slide down through my throat. The mead was sweet, like honey water.
        I drained the glass to the halfway mark and lowered the mug on to the counter. Switch climbed back onto his seat and sat down with a fresh mug of mead.
        To my left, Inkwell was raising the mug up to drink. Breeze was leaning across the table with a grin that split his face as he waited in anticipation for her to taste her first drink.
        Our entire table had our attention focused on her as she brought the mug up and drank the sweet amber liquid. She drank nearly a fourth of the mug and slammed it down.
        “By Celestia! That’s sweet!”
        Seeker laughed and slammed his head back as he chugged down more of his. Chasm merely raised his mug and nodded with a smile on his face whilst the rest of us congratulated her. After the first drink, whatever concerns she had melted away and she chugged the rest of her first glass like a pro.
        She got up and left to get a refill while the rest of us slowly drained our mugs.
        Dawn turned to face me and asked, “So, how was first day of guard duty? Anything interesting happen?”
        I drained the rest of my mug and replied, “Boring as fuck. The only thing that happened besides watching dust accumulate was the occasional passerby, but they were just as boring.”
        “Hey, at least you did not have to sit outside in the hot sun all day. I can’t bucking wait until fall comes.”
        “You can say that again!” Breeze added in.
        I pulled myself out of my seat and walked over to the bar keep. Inkwell brushed past me on the way to him. I slid my mug on the counter and the bar keep grabbed it and put it under the tap and refilled it.
        “Here you go,” he said as he set it back in front of me.
        “Thanks man.”
        I picked it back up and made my way back to the table. Seeker was talking when I sat back down.
        “-and I heard Celestia and some other pony saying something about changeling activity to the north.”
        Changelings? Like from the thing- oh fuck I hope not. Please don’t let that be a thing here!
        “What are changelings? Namely, what can they do?”
        Seeker spoke up to answer me, “Chang-”
        “I hate changelings,” Switch interrupted.
        Dawn laughed and yelled, “Who doesn’t!”
        Seeker waited until his laughter died off and continued, “Changelings look like ponies, except with a black carapace and soulless blue eyes. They are able to take the form of anyone of a similar size, regardless of species.”
        Oh fuck, fuck, fuck. Why did they have to fucking exist here!
        “Holy shit- we had a similar thing in a movie back home that would kill someone and take their shape.”
        Inkwell went wide eyed at that and Dawn spoke up, “As far as I know, they don’t kill anypony. They capture ponies and use them as love slaves.”
        “Love… slaves? What the fuck, they capture you guys so they could get laid?”
        Dawn burst out laughing along with Switch, Seeker, and Breeze.
        Dawn sputtered out between breaths, “No, changelings feed off of the emotion, love. They don’t rape ponies.”
        Inkwell still had a look of fright on her face and she asked me, “What about the changelings in your world, you said that they killed people…”
        I waved my hand in a dismissing manner and stated, “Changelings from my world are fake, they are just from movies.”
        “Movies?”
        “Yeah, movie, film, moving picture, whatever you guys have here. The movie they are from is fictional.”
        “Moving picture?” Seeker asked.
        “Yeah, it’s basically using a camera to film something and you can replay it and watch it over and over again.”
        “How does it work?”
        I shrugged and said, “To be honest, no clue. I just know it’s something along capturing light, I never actually made a camera, just used them.”
        “Hm, I never heard of anyone capturing light. Anyways, I wonder what in tartarus changelings would be doing in the north. The last time we saw them was at the royal canterlot wedding between Captain Shining Armor and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.”
        Mi Amore Cadenza… isn’t that italian?
        I took a gulp from my mug and asked, “What were they doing at the wedding?”
        “Invading- they tried to overthrow the princesses and conquer Equestria.”
        Obvious they failed, but regardless, “What happened?”
        Dawn answered me before Seeker had a chance to, “They successfully incapacitated Celestia, not sure where Luna was, and they ended up getting defeated by some ‘power of love’, which personally I think is kind of bullshit.”
        Inkwell spoke up, “Hey! Captain Shining Armor and the princess used their love to create a shield that blasted them out of Canterlot!”
        Dawn let out a mocking laugh and shook his head, “I bucking wish. He bucking had us scraping changeling off the castle walls for days, you don’t know true suffering until you are scraping a mixture of dried blood and carapace off of the ceiling.”
        Fuck- and it took days? How many changelings died from that?
        Inkwell seemed taken aback by this, “I don’t remember seeing any changelings after the spell.”
        Dawn shook his head in disbelief, “Well of course, everyone was told to stay inside their homes after it happened so no one would see the mess.”
        “Oh…”
        “Regardless-” Dawn lifted his mug into the air, “-we will kick their flanks if they even think of trying again!”
        A chorus of cheers rang around our table as we all lifted our glasses and clanked them together.
        The seven of us drank and eventually bellowing a chanty. I picked up the lyrics the second time through and joined in.
        The shanty itself was about a soldier returning from deployment back to his family. I’m not sure if it was a trick of the light, my fifth drink, or it actually happening, but unless it was either of the first two, I saw Chasm shed a tear. If so, that would be the only thing I’ve seen from him besides him smiling silently.
        As we sang each repeat of the song, our words became more and more slurred. By the sixth repeat, Inkwell had scooted her chair next to mine and was singing whilst leaning against me. My left arm was laying against her left shoulder and my right arm was up in the air, holding onto my mug as I swung it back and forth to the lyrics.
        Our singing ended when Breeze passed out and face planted on the table. Switch poked him with a hoof then turned to face Dawn.
        “Heeees ooooout.”
        Dawn’s reply was to get up and help Switch carry Breeze.
        The barkeep called over to us, “Don’t worry about paying tonight boys, I’ll put it on your tabs.”
        Out of the seven of us, Chasm was the only one who drank in moderation. He got up and helped Seeker up and stopped to look at me and Inkwell. She had passed out and was lying on my lap, sleeping.
        I waved to him and slurred, “I-I-I’llll get heeer.”
        He turned back around and led the five of them out the door. I looked down in my lap at Inkwell’s sleeping form. I put my hands under her chest and stood up as I lifted her up with me. Once I was in a standing position, I nearly fell over, but I balanced myself out before I could. I then lifted her front body over my shoulder and wrapped my arms around her to carry her much like you would carry a cat. A big, cute cat.
        I followed the path the rest of our squad took and left the bar. I looked around and had no idea where to go. I scanned the sky until I saw the top of the castle poking out above the buildings of Canterlot.
        I carried her down the road which I assumed got me at least closer to the castle. I felt her shift a few times on my shoulder as we walked. After a bit of walking I found a road that led to the castle gate and started following it.
        “Yeaa knnow, I’vvve been th-thinking.”
        I didn’t get an answer but I continued anyways.
        “W-w-what ifff I’m stuck heeere? Yaa know whaat I saaid? I-I toold myself t-thaat I wouuld find somebody.”
        We were getting close to the castle gate.
        “I-I-I thinnk that you’rre a nice marre. Cu-ute too.”
        The guards out front gave me a nod and a chuckle as I passed by them with a passed-out pony.
        I stumbled around the halls, lost, until a guard noticed my situation and escorted me to the barracks. I made my way down the hall and opened the door to our room. A quick look inside and I saw a group of four ponies I didn’t recognize laying in their beds.
        Okay- so not our room. I backed out and closed the door. I walked up to the one across the hall and opened it up. Inside, Dawn was snoring in his bed. I carried Inkwell over to her bed and set her down on her back.
        I felt a bit of vertigo and also felt like something was missing when I stood back up. Then I realized it was probably the lack of weight on my shoulder. I reached my bed and fell face first into the sheets.
        “Uurrrgh.”
        I kept my eyes closed, but felt myself being dragged.
        “Put him under.”
        “Yes sir.”
        Whoever was dragging me laid me down across the floor and I heard the creak of something turning.
        “Urrg- ah!”
        Cold water streamed over me and my eyes snapped open. Alabaster and Dawn were standing in front of me. Dawn reached somewhere above and behind me and the water stopped. He then helped me up onto my feet.
        “Welcome back to the land of the living Richard,” Alabaster stated.
        I groaned and rubbed my aching forehead.
Fuck, that mead gives one hell of a hangover.
“You have some clothes waiting on the bench over there,” -he pointed towards the front part of the room- “so get up, dressed and meet outside for PT.”
“Yes sir,” I sluggishly saluted and made my way over to the bench. The two of them left the room as I changed out of my wet clothes and into a new shirt and pair of shorts. Afterwards, I walked out through the hall and to the field.
PT woke up me quickly, not nearly as fast as that shower though. Whilst doing the various exercises I remembered bits of the previous night. The jokes, the singing, Switch passing out, then Inkwell following in his footsteps. Then I remembered what I said to Inkwell.
Aw- damn. I’m pretty sure she passed out, so I don’t think she heard me.
At the end of PT, Alabaster told us we have the day off because it’s the Summer Sun Celebration today. Not sure what it is, but great. Our entire squad walked together to the canteen. Breeze started talking about how awesome last night was as we entered the castle.
Inkwell pressed against me the entire time while walking and once we sat down at a table with our food, she continued leaning against me.
She must’ve heard me last night, oh well.
I reached around her with my arm and put my arm around her shoulder which prompted her to turn and nuzzle my chest. Breeze’s face lit up when he saw that and he started saying how cute it was to see us like that. One thing I did not expect though, was that I got a smile and a wink from Switch.
Switch. He is not mad about anything! That makes his approval that much more surprising.
After eating, I went back to our room to just relax for the day, but Inkwell insisted we go to whatever the celebration is. We went and I found out that it was some day that used to be the celebration of some evil pony called Nightmare Moon, which is pretty much evil incarnate that had possessed Princess Luna for a thousand or something years. After Nightmare Moon’s defeat the event changed to be a celebration on the return of Princess Luna.
Though, wouldn’t it make more sense to be during the night then?
Nevertheless, the celebration itself was interesting. It started with Celestia making a speech about friendship and recounting Luna’s return and then she flew into the air whilst raising the sun behind her. It would have been a pretty damn amazing sight, you know, if it wasn’t the fact that if you saw it, you would go blind from staring at the goddamn sun.
Somehow, the ponies kept their eyes on the spectacle while I had to block the bright sunlight from my eyes. Seriously, how the hell are they looking directly at it?
After the Princess tried blinding the population of Canterlot, everyone scattered to look at various attractions and vendors set up in the street for the occasion.
The rest of the day went without a hitch and after going back to eat at the barracks for dinner, Inkwell and I went back to our room. She and I pulled up chairs to one of the desks and we read chapter two of  “Rules and Guidelines of the Equestrian Solar Guard” which was on PT and Drill procedures.
Eventually, Inkwell fell asleep whilst pressing against my side. I closed the book and slid it to the corner of the desk. I wrapped my hands around Inkwell and picked her up. She did not wake up as I carried her over to her bed and set her down for the night. I followed her lead and walked over to my bed and laid down, exhausted from the day’s activities.

//-------------------------------------------------------//
   Chapter 9 - Wow, Exactly a Thousand Words- Well, Was    
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Chapter 9 - Wow, Exactly a Thousand Words- Well, Was
        Urgh- head hurts like a mother fucker.
        I pushed my upper body up from my bed and swung my feet off of my bed. The bedframe squeaked as I set my feet onto the ground. I opened my eyes and peered around the room.
        Dawn was standing at the door waiting as Inkwell donned her armor. She finished securing the chest plate and set her helmet down on to the bed next to her. She then turned and trotted over to me.
        “Good morning, sleepy.”
        She reached the edge of my bed and brought herself up onto two hooves and locked me in a hug. Her dark, silky mane brushed against my cheek as she nuzzled me.
        A slight smile crossed my lips and I returned her hug.
        “Good morning to you too, Inkwell,” I peered over her shoulder at Dawn and asked, “Dawn, how much longer do we have till PT starts?”
        “Four minutes.”
        Fou- Fuck!
        My knees jerked my body upwards and Inkwell eeped as she tightened her grip on my chest to keep from flying off. I scanned the room for my armor then stopped when I realized I still had a pony hanging off of me.
        “Opps- sorry, Inkwell.”
        I held her up with my right arm whilst I unhooked her hooves from my back with the other. Once I was free from her grip, I gently set her down onto the floor.
        “My bad, it’s just that w-”
        Oh shit- four minutes!
        Inkwell fixed a rebellious part of her mane. “It’s okay, I probably should’ve not been hugging you when w-”
        I held out my hand with my palm facing her and stated as I walked over to our desk, “No, it’s all good, I always have time for you. Anyways, “ -I put my hand down and grabbed my chestplate- “Dawn, shouldn’t you have woke me up earlier?”
        I heard Dawn sigh, “Yes, but your mar-”
        “I wanted to let you sleep in! You had a rough night!” Inkwell interjected.
        Hm, rough night? Oh yeah, we went out drinking, didn’t we?
        Dawn spoke up again as soon I finished putting on the last of my armor, “Time to go, come on you two.”
        I picked up a brisk pace behind him as Inkwell and I followed him out. I was content until I realized that I smelled like alcohol.
        I stared at the showers wistfully as we passed them and strode out to the field. Our platoon was already waiting in formation outside as the last of the stragglers, namely us, arrived.
        The three of us took our positions in the back, but the other four from our squad was missing. I stood facing forward in attention and joined the rest of my platoon in waiting.
        Eventually, they arrived dragging a soaking-wet Breeze. His armor was glistening as drips of water dripped off. They helped Breeze into position and then took theirs.
        Their arrival signified the last of our platoon arriving and so Alabaster took control.
        “Platoon, attention!”
        Not a soul moved as he shouted.
        “At ease!”
        I switched my position to at ease and let my eyes follow Alabaster as he paced in front of first squad.
        “Today, you all will be competing alongside your squad in bi-monthly competition. As you all know, or should know, each squad will stand against one another.”
        Alabaster walked away from the front and started walking past each row.
        “Your goal is to be the last squad standing. Now, you will be placed inside of an arena and your weapons will be magically altered for the time being. They will not injure, but if a strike was to land upon someone, the spell would force them to feign injury.”
        He stopped in front me, sniffing the air. He turned to face me and asked, “Private Richard, why do you smell like alcohol and lust?”
        Lust? What?
        “Sir, my squad an-”
        “Stop that sentence, I don’t want to hear how it ends.”
        I saw Breeze’s face twist and contort as he barely held in laughter. I resigned myself to my fate and watched as Alabaster continued past me.
        Lust? What exactly happened last night?
        I tried racking my brain for answers, but it came up with no specific explanation. Maybe the way Inkwell was acting this morning is because of something from last night?
        …
        Don’t tell me I did that.
        “-ard!”
        I snapped to attention and saluted, “Yes sir!”
        Alabaster returned my salute and lowered his hoof back to the ground, a signal for me to do the same.
        I lowered my hand to my side whilst he said, “At ease, soldier.”
        I moved my hands behind my back just above my tailbone and spread my feet a foot apart from each other.
        “Next time, try to shower before you arrive.”
        I snapped my right arm up in a salute and shouted, “Yes sir!”
        I lowered my arm as he turned away and walked out of from in front of fourth squad and back to the front of our platoon.
        “As usual,” - Alabaster paced in front of our platoon, - “the arena is placed outside Canterlot outside of a nearby forest.”
        He stopped in front of the middle of our formation. “Platoon, attention!”
        A swift, unified movement later, Alabaster continued, “Left face!”
        I spun ninety degrees counter-clockwise on my right foot’s toes and my left foot’s heel.
        “Forward, march!”
        Hooves beat on the ground along with the distinct thud of my boots.
        Alabaster stuck to the left of our platoon as we marched through the field and towards the exit to Canterlot.
        “Double time, march!”
        Our platoon increased our pace to a hundred and eighty steps per second, which is the equivalent of a moderate paced jog.
        Alabaster called out a cadence each time he stepped down on his front left leg, “Left! Left! Left right left!”
        The sounds and movements blended as muscle memory kicked in and I relinquished my body’s control to years of training.

//-------------------------------------------------------//
Chapter 6 - Building the World Takes So Long! Oh Well, More Writing For Me!
//-------------------------------------------------------//
Chapter 6 - Building the World Takes So Long! Oh Well, More Writing For Me!
        I yawned and pulled myself out of my bed. Sometime during the night, Dawn had returned and slept in the bed across the room from me. With the lack of a window, there is no telling what time it is.
        I considered taking a shower, but remembered that I had taken one last night before I came back, so another would be unnecessary. Same with changing into a new pair of clothes.
        Regardless, I had to use the bathroom and there were some closed stalls in the showers, so I might as well head there.
        I left, entered the showers, did my business in a stall and walked out. However, as I was about to leave the room, Shining Armor turned the corner.
        “Hey Richard, do you always get up this early?”
        “Hey Captain. Yeah, force of habit really.”
        “I respect that. The lieutenants and I normally let the guards sleep in a bit after dawn, mainly so we can get organized before we have to deal with them.”
        “Don’t want your subordinates know just how bad you can stink, right?” I joked.
        He chuckled, “Yeah, now I’ve got a shower waiting for me. Go get your squad up before I decide to have you to clean the toilets.”
        I did an impromptu salute and stated with a grin, “Yes Captain.”
        Shining Armor is pretty awesome. Even though he acts pretty hard on the platoon during the day, he’s pretty cool when you’re not on official business.
        I walked down the hall and knocked on door twenty three and yelled, “Charlie, fourth squad! Get up!”
        I heard groans from behind the door signaling the ponies inside were getting out of their beds. Ah- just like home. Except much more lax, I’m sure at home, one knock and the men inside would already be at attention.
        I walked across the hall and entered my own room. Dawn must have gotten up from when I yelled at the ponies inside room twenty three. He was pulling himself out of his bed, however, Inkwell was still passed out. Some time during the night she rolled onto her back and her limbs were sprawled out in the air while her hair was spread out beneath her.
        Dawn hopped out of his bed and walked up to me. He puffed out his chest in what I think meant was supposed to look threatening and said, “You better not be trying to take over my squad newbie, I get my squad up, not you.”
        In response, I mentally laughed at this attempt form a pony to intimidate me and replied, “Don’t worry about that Dawn, Captain Shining Armor ordered me to. I’m not trying to take your position.”
        “You better not! I’ll show you who’s boss today during our squad’s spar.”
        Oh yeah, I forgot about that.
        “Alright then. Hey Inkwell, time to get up.”
        The only response I received was Dawn glaring at me because I was still waking up his squad even after he told me only he does. Oh well, following orders higher than his.
        I walked up to the side of her bed and shook her a bit.
        “Inkwell, get up, we gotta get going.”
        I shook her once more and finally received a response.
        “Uuuggh, why so early?”
        Inkwell rolled onto her stomach and lifted herself up.
        “‘Cause it’s time to go, we gotta get up and report to- where are we reporting to, Dawn?”
        Inkwell hopped down from her bed and turned around to- well, magick it? Nevertheless, her bed was made and she continued with her magic by fixing up her hair. Dawn had lost his glare, sometime between me waking her up and now, and he seemed happy that I needed his help on something.
        “We will be going to do PT in the yard.”
        “The yard? Is that the clearing outside the back of the castle that I saw the platoon and Captain Shining Armor at yesterday?”
        He did one of those pony shrugs.
        “Not completely sure, but it might be. We normally only train there, but there has been some exceptions.”
        “You don’t know? Where do you normally train?”
        Inkwell had finished straightening her hair and sat on her haunches beside me while I conversed with Dawn.
        “Like I said, the yard, but yesterday I was on guard duty. The three platoons switch out guard duty. We have to do it every third day.”
        Oh- alright, that explains it. I wonder why I’d not seen him around the castle though. Each platoon has thirty-two each, besides our platoon, which only has thirty-one as we have a single extra space left now that Inkwell and I have joined. So how come I’ve not seen him around the castle? Then again, this is like my third day here, plus I never really paid too much attention to the guards.
        Speaking of the castle, I gotta learn the map of the castle, I get lost easily. Maybe Inkwell can help with that.
        “-ard! Richard, comeon!” Dawn was yelling at me.
        Oh shit, forgot about him!
        “Sorry, ready!”
        “Follow me you two.”
        Inkwell and I jogged behind him as he led us out the door to the hallway and through another door at the end which led to the same field I found the other day, except from the left side of it rather than the right side.
        Outside, our platoon was in four rows. The three of us took our places in the fourth row, which for Dawn was the leftmost position while Inkwell and I just had to fall in from the right to the first open space.
        In front of the formation stood Alabaster. He must be our Platoon’s lieutenant.
        Loud and clear, he sounded off, “Extend to the left. March!”
        Knowing what we were doing and being to the left of Inkwell, I walked sideways to the left with my arms held outwards. The ponies were just scooting sideways and I assume they had some sort of system to measure the distance.
        Inkwell followed my lead and was moving to her left too. Shit, she doesn’t know this all. I whispered to her while facing forward, “Inkwell, stay where you where. You are rightmost, so you don’t have to move.”
        I couldn’t see her, but I know she is probably really nervous and confused right now, it happens to all recruits at least once. Even if they prepared for it. However, I did see in the corner of my vision her moving away from me, so she must have gone back.
        “Left face!”
        I spun myself on my left heel and my right toes and turned left. Can’t help her too well with this one. I’m not exactly sure how, but the ponies had jumped off the ground with their front hooves and spun their bodies to the left.
        I heard a small whimper behind me, some scuffling, then finally a pair of hooves approaching.
        Alabaster spoke low, enough to where I could hear him, but not understand what he’s saying. I assume he’s talking to Inkwell about what to do. He spoke to her for a while, I’m not a good time keeper, but he must’ve explained what to do during today’s PT. Randomly I would hear hooves moving across the ground and would hear it once more, but shoddier.
        If he did, then damn. Back home, our command would be yelling at the recruit for not knowing and mess with the recruit about it every time they made a mistake. Hooves trotting away signaled his departure and he continued from his original position.
        “Extend to the left. March!”
        Once more we extended to the left.
        “Right face!”
        We all turned right and I noticed a distinct lack of Inkwell facing the wrong way in the corner of my vision. Good to see she’s getting the hang of it.
        Now our formation had two, well for me, two arms width space between the ponies next to me and ahead of me.
        “From front to rear, count off!”
        The first squad roared, “One!”
        Second, “Two!”
        Third, “Three!”
        Then ours, “Four!”
        In the mass of voices from our squad, I was able to tell apart the voices. Dawn’s was full of confidence and he practically screamed it. Seeker’s and Switch’s were both loud, but not nearly as Dawn’s. Breeze had joy not even subtly hiding behind his. I barely heard Inkwell’s.
        However, I don’t think I heard Chasm.
        Alabaster sounded off once again, “Even numbers to the left, uncover!”
        Both squad two and my squad moved to the left so we were facing the space between the ponies in the squads ahead of us.
        “At ease!”
        I spread my legs out and put my arms behind my back. The ponies just lowered their rumps, but did not sit on their haunches.
        “Platoon! Attention! The first rotatio-”
        We spent the next few minutes doing different rotations. Each would start with Alabaster calling us into attention, announcing the rotation, doing the rotation, and repeated with each different one.
        First the neck, arms and shoulders, hips, knees, ankles, and then after the rotation we did a few stretches. Because of the difference in my body and the ponies, the way we did the stretches and rotations were hardly comparable. I had gotten a good laugh at watching them do the hip rotation.
        For me, that consisted of putting my hands on my hips and moving my pelvis in circles, for ponies it looked like they were air humping the ground.
        Eventually, we were ordered to assemble to the right, which got us out of the extended rectangular formation we were in a few moments before. Now we returned to the original formation.
        With the first half completed, our platoon did a right face and we started running around the field. By the size of the field, I would say that around four laps would be the equivalent of a mile. Alabaster ran besides our platoon the entire time.
        Every half-lap, our platoon would stop and do twenty five push-ups. A pony push-up is much like what humans do, except they push up with all four legs, rather than just their front legs, like what we do with our arms.
        In total, we did eight laps. Around the end of lap two is when Inkwell couldn’t run or do any more push-ups without falling over in exhaustion. Which was pretty respectable for her first PT. The run was easy, but damn did I feel a burn after the eighth lap because of those push ups. Sure twenty five is nothing, but stacking them up every half lap starts to wear someone down.
        After the run, we were allowed a ten-minute break to hydrate, then we went back out. This time, we had to switch on and off carrying a partner across the field. You carry your partner there and they carry you back. Now, I’m not sure how much they weigh here, but back home, horses in similarly sized are way too heavy for a man to carry.
        I got paired up with Switch. Alabaster paired himself up with Inkwell, I doubt she’ll be able to do it the first time, but I’m sure he can help her regardless.
        Our platoon lined up with our pairs at one side of the field. Partners started getting on top of the other, which was pretty much a pony laying parallel on top of the other. I decided to copy them and I laid down on my stomach on top of Switch’s back.
        “I hate the way you’re laying on me.”
        I adjusted my position a bit and responded, “Well, there’s not much else I can do without falling off, maybe I can try and find a different way for next time.”
        “I hate carrying you.”
        I just shook my head and looked over to see Alabaster carrying Inkwell.
        He yelled out for us to start shortly after I held on for dear life while Switch ran to the other side. I had to grip his fur to stop from falling off, but I held on regardless.
        Once we got to the other side, I got off Switch and while the other ponies switched positions. Uhh- I wonder if I can even pick him up, well, time to find out.
        I bent down and motioned for him to step forward.
        “Alright, place yourself on my shoulders.”
        He walked up to my side and climbed onto my shoulders. He was surprisingly light, not just for a pony, but at all. I grabbed his right hind leg with my right hand and held it still while I wrapped my left arm around his front right leg and put them both over my shoulder.
        I pushed up with my knees and tested my balance while holding him. I do have to say, ponies in Equestria are really light compared to their earth counterparts. If I had to guess right, I would say around a hundred and sixty pounds.
        Anyways, I looked over to see Inkwell standing with Alabaster on her back. Hm, I guess I under estimated her in that regard.
        “I hate being carried by you,” Switch complained again.
        I shook my head in disbelief and responded, “And I hate carrying you, now let’s get this over with.”
        Alabaster called out once again and I took off down the field. Even with the added weight, my long strides out matched that of most of the ponies. I was faster than most of them, but a few beat me to the otherside. I didn’t recognize most of the ones who did, but one was Chasm and the other was, surprisingly, Inkwell.
        Based on her performance just running for long distances, then running for a shorter distance, but while carrying someone… damn. I gotta say, she can’t run for too long a distance, but damn can she carry something over short distances fast.
        I lowered myself again and Switch got off my back and fell in beside me. We waited until the entire platoon was back in line and Alabaster spoke up.
        “Great work out there today, you all are dismissed until noon. I will see you all this afternoon. Fall out.”
        The platoon split up and most of them made their way back to the castle. However, I made my way to Alabaster and waited until another guard in front of me had finished talking to him.
        “Yes Lieutenant!”
        The guard turned around and once he passed me, I stepped up to Alabaster.
        “Lieutenant, where do we meet up later?”
        He gave me a quick smile, “Training room, you’ll be sparring with your squad mates.”
        “Alright, thank you Lieutenant.”
        I turned around to walk away, but turned back when he spoke up again, “So, Jesse, how’s with being with your marefriend going?”
        Marefriend? What?
        “Uh- what’s a marefriend?”
        Then it clicked.
        Oh come the fuck on, not this again!
        He had a smirk on his face which screamed laughter.
        “Damnit, with all due respect Lieutenant, she’s not my gir-marefriend.”
        He had the widest grin on his face and I continued, “Actually, while we are on that, why was she ordered to join anyways?”
        His smile was still smeared on his face as he replied, “I’m not sure to be honest. Celestia ordered it and she must have her reasons.”
        I facepalmed, “Alright, I’ll make sure to ask her about it then, see ya Lieutenant.”
        “Good-bye Private.”
        I walked away from him and found myself with some company. Breeze and Inkwell took a place beside me. Breeze, the overjoyed pegasus, was talking to Inkwell.
        “And then we danced! Did you know that Chasm is a really good dancer! He hardly talks, but he can dance like a princess!”
        Like a princess...Heh, I wonder what that looks like.
        “What are you two talking about? Oh and also great job Inkwell, I was surprised that you were able to carry Alabaster across the field that fast.”
        Inkwell smiled and opened her mouth to respond, but Breeze jumped up and started his story, “Oh! Oh! We were talking about last night when me, Dawn, Chasm, Switch, and Seeker went out to a club and had a great time dancing! Wh-”
        Inkwell leaned against my leg like she had done the night before while Breeze hopped around us and told us about what we had missed yesterday.