2) Shadow and the Darkness that Binds
Shadow and the Darkness that Binds
Evil monologue, blah, blah, blah, insert dramatic readings here.
I’m too tired for this shit.
I suppose it’s true to say that I’m too tired for anything. My failure to capture the Zebra that might be able to fix Ka’s horn had landed me magically fused to the wall as punishment, so I was currently hanging from the skin of my back and I had been for three days now. It hurt just as much as you might think it does.
Hence, the tiredness.
I looked up to the sky. Despite being on the wall of the throne room, I could see clouds and stars high above me, twinkling in the darkness of the night. I could see them because this portion of the roof had unfortunately collapsed at some point. It let the rain in too. That was probably the worst part.
I could handle being miserable. I could handle being miserable and stuck to a wall. I didn’t like being miserable, stuck to a wall AND WET.
I couldn’t sleep with this shit. I’d tried asking to be let down already so I could go deal with the goody-goodies but apparently his horn wasn’t nearly as important to him as making an example out of me was. Priorities, hey.
It was as I was musing over my own torment and wishing I could just get down already that Ka walked back into the room.
“Hey, Ka, buddy…gonna let me down now?” I asked him through gritted teeth.
“Have you learned your lesson?” He asked curiously, eyeing me in a manner that sent a shiver up my spine.
“Eyup, next time I have to fight an Alicorn Lightcore enemy with immense power, as well as another earth pony with crazy strength, whilst simultaneously trying to carry on my back a heavy zebra, I most definitely better win.” I said sarcastically. Annoyance flashed behind Ka’s eyes before his broken horn flashed. I felt the wall and my spine defuse and suddenly I was falling. Funny thing about Pegasus, falling is just as bad for us as anything else; at least, it is when there isn’t enough distance for you to slow your descent to gain flight. Because of this, and despite my wings, the ground still rushed to meet me. It hurt.
“Ouch.” I grumbled.
“Take whomever you feel you need to, and go retrieve that Zebra.” Ka instructed, sitting down on his throne.
“Yes your black and red-ness.” I grumbled, turning away from him. “Can I at least get a nap in and a fuck break?” I grumbled. “I haven’t slept in three days, and I doubt I could fight anyone in this condition.”
Ka just simply nodded.
I sighed with relief and stepped out of the room he’d designated as a throne room. It was raining outside again. It was always fucking raining. I sighed to myself and headed for the tower I’d claimed as mine own. I could go for a good fuck, I’ve not had any release for three days, but right now, I think sleep was on the forefront of my mind.
I looked up to the sky before turning back to my wings. I ached, my back was sore, and I hadn’t been able to stretch for days. I hoped this wasn’t going to cause performance issues.
I spread my wings and took to the sky. The wind rushed around me, and I had to admit, I felt free.
It was a wonderful feeling having the wind ruffle through my feathers as I moved through the streams of the air currents, taking me higher. The castle loomed below me as I soared; its broken derelict remains a constant watchman in the night in these dark cold woods. I liked it; it resonated with an empty part of me.
I yawning to myself a little, unable to suppress it as I slipped onto the balcony of the tower I’d claimed, slipping into the interior and curling up on the old dusty bed I had there.
I glanced around me at my room. It wasn’t much. The frail thin curtain I used to shield the outside from me still let the draft in, and the walls were barer and grumbling. I had very few objects to call my own. In the corner was a trunk filled with memorabilia and odd old ends that I had either stolen or acquired through other means. My mind flashed the picture of a box in there, a box that was black, and something about red lace. But I ignored it, and I ignored the box. I didn’t go near the box. The box wasn’t something that had any meaning to me anymore.
When I’d finally cleared my mind, the sleep came easy. The dreams did too.
I always dreamt these days. And I could never remember the dreams after they happened. All I knew is that sometimes I could wake up screaming a name, the face of said name on the forefront of my mind as I thought about them and words that might describe them playing on the tip of my tongue. But I could never remember them when I thought about it by the light of day, or the shine of the moon. Like a fog stopped me. Like my brain was filled with clouds.
Clouds that bound me in strings.
*
I awoke without a scream, but with a groggy grumble instead as I looking up at the ceiling, thinking about what Ka had said.
I needed to go get that Zebra back, but who to take with me? It wouldn’t be easy, but maybe an indirect approach would be best. Something akin to stealth, a quick in and out rather than starting a fight. I loved to fight, but even I wasn’t so stupid as to try and face them all myself.
All this talk of going in and out things was starting to get me horny.
I was too pent up to really think about the upcoming fight yet. I slipped from my bed and made my way down my own tower to the basement. There sat in the darkness of the basement was a brown coated mare. She smelt bad, and her cell was filthy, but the moment he entered her ears perked up and she looked up with an almost eager smile.
“That’s right, Zero. Master is here.” I began in an almost loving tone, slipping open the cell door and walking inside. The cell was dark and dingy, a bucket in the corner was used for the mares waste, and there was a trough for food and water. A chair sat in the right most corner so he moved to it and sat down.
“Come here.” I instructed her, watching as she trotted over and sat down in front of me. I reached for her head with my hooves, and almost gently grabbed her face before pulling her close; I then pushed her head down till her nose was pressed into my crotch. “I need a little release.”
The mare didn’t hesitate. Despite my lack of a wash she instantly began licking over my sheath and balls. The gentle pleasures making me nicker softly in desire. I could feel myself already starting to swell in my sheath before my length spilled fourth. She wasted no time getting to it, running her tongue along its dark length, sending pleasurable sensations spiking up the shaft as I grew to full hardness. She moved to the tip, slurping over the top of it. I reached for her muzzle and pulled her down, slipping my shaft into her mouth, down to the back of it, before I pulled her sharply, forcing my cock down her throat. I groaned and kept pulling, slowly slipping further in as the mare’s eyes widened. I knew she couldn’t breathe. I liked that she couldn’t breathe. I began using her muzzle, pulling her up and down my length as I grunted, fucking her throat as I thought about my predicament.
I could use my speed to get into that encampment. But while I was fast enough for the others to not notice, Hayley with her fucking Lightcore abilities would pick me up in an instant. So that might end in a fight, not that I would usually run from a fight, but even I wasn’t so full of bravado that I thought I could take them all on. I’d rather not get killed.
Zero was struggling in my hooves, probably panicking due to lack of air. I ignored her.
Maybe I should instead stop thinking so small. Maybe instead, all I really needed was a really good distraction. I think I had one that would work nicely.
I grunted as I came, splashing seed down the mares throat as she struggled to remain conscious. I pulled out, splashing a little of my seed over her face before moving to walk out. “I needed that.”
I left Zero alone, locking the door as I left. I stepped out of my tower and flew my way back to the throne room. This might be a plan Ka would enjoy…if I could convince him to get off his lazy ass that was.
*
The plan was a simple one, but I liked to think it had a few elements of elegance to it. It was all about showmanship. Presentation. And I knew just the stallion to do it. There was after all, only one other stallion I knew that could out-present me when it came to sheer ego.
First we had to move through Ponyville.
Donning disguises weren’t the hard part, other than seeming a little dark in colours; I could pass for a normal pony easily enough. My partner had a little more difficulty at first, but a basic spell and disguise from ancient powers seemed to do the trick.
Together we walked, me not wearing anything and my partner in a basic form but wrapped in a dark cloak so as to keep them relatively hidden. The bustling joys of Ponyville surrounded us as we walked through the main square. I looked to my right and saw streamers and balloons flying above one house in particular, the cute thatched cottage housing many a rambunctious pony. Looked like a party, or what ponies considered a party. Maybe it was a birthday or, dare I suggest the thought, a cute-ceañera. God I hated the concept of cutie-marks. The very notion that a pony might be destined or segregated into a particular job for the rest of their life was astonishing to me, and terribly limiting to the individual.
We moved past the party briskly.
“Where ya goin’?” A bright and perky voice sounded out as a pink mare with a cotton-candy style pink mane began bouncing around us. “Every pony in Ponyville is at the party, and I know every pony in Ponyville and I’ve never seen you around in Ponyville before so are you moving into Ponyville, and if so, do you wanna party?”
How a pony could hop around like a bunny, I wasn’t quite sure, but this pink fluffy mare was managing it. I tried not to take not of the fact that she was quite cute with a shapely rump, but any thoughts and ideas I might have had about said rump were banished by the gleeful look in her blue eyes.
I stared at her and the way she grinned at me reminded me of all the reasons I hated this dimension. “No.” I said firmly before turning away.
“Awwww, a grumpy grump? Well that’s not right…you’ll have a party anyway!” And with that I felt hooves grab me.
Faster and with more strength than I’d anticipated, my partner and I were suddenly dragged into the partying house. This was not how this was supposed to go.
The part was in full swing the moment we were pushed in. Music played, ponies danced, and the two new arrivals stood in the corner wondering how they were going to get out of this place.
How could ponies stay so childish? They were mainly adults here, but they were playing pin-the-tail-on-the-pony and other games, the punch was non-alcoholic (which just seemed pointless to me) and absolutely no one was fucking. Certainly not my kind of party.
“Shadow, get us out of here.” A growling voice from my partner told me firmly.
“I’m trying, but that pink one vexes me.” I grumbled. I had no idea how she does even half the things she does. Do the laws of physics just not apply to her? I mean yeah, this was a land of magic, but she was an earth pony, they weren’t really supposed to have any magic, where they? Was there some special hidden earth pony magic I’d never seen or heard from before?
I started trying to edge us both back towards the door. I was reaching for the doorknob when suddenly my hoof was grabbed by a pink one.
“Oh no-”
I barely got the words out before I was yanked off my hooves and onto the dance floor. The pink pony was forcing me to dance! NOPE, NOPE, and NOPE! I DO NOT DANCE!
I tried to scurry away but she kept a grip tighter on me than I could believe. I felt like this pony could crush me if she wanted to, but she wasn’t trying to hurt me, she was just squealing with joy as she spun me around and lead me through dance moves which I weren’t entirely sure were physically possible. I managed to crawl away for a moment only to be dragged back by my tail.
“HELP ME!” I squealed to my partner, but strangely I could see him smiling. The bastard was enjoying this!
*
Three hours.
Three hours of forced dancing and punch being forced down my throat so much I’d almost wet myself. I stumbled out of the party panting, aching, and feeling like I’d just went twelve rounds with a Lightcore Alicorn.
“Well that was eventful.” My partner said with a dark chuckle.
“Shut the fuck up.” I grumbled, finally walking back onto the same path we’d been on before the pink monster had dragged me away.
“HELLO!” GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! PINK MONSTER!!! “I had such a good time at the party with you; you should come to ANOTHER party.” She seemed quite eager, which only made me want to run away faster.
“NopeI’mtiredandgoinghomeanditwasawonderfulparty thankyouanywaygoodbye!” I darted round her dragging my partner with me and running through the town.
“Maybe she likes you.” My partner sniggered under his hood.
I ignored him, finally reaching the end of town. There was a path that led over the river, it was a little long but it led to White Tail woods.
We travelled down it in relative silence.
The sun was setting by the time we finally saw the woods. The white leaves upon the tall oaks reflected the red and yellow of Celestia’s sun in a manner that gave the white tail woods a golden autumn glow no matter the time of year. It was actually quite beautiful.
Let’s fuck it up.
We approached the forest and paused outside of it. The heavy canopy above that should have shielded the light from the ground, wrapping us in shadows, instead allowed the light to simply filter through in gold’s, reds and yellows. I was hoping this would change as we got deeper.
We trotted into the trees. Sadly, unlike the Everfree, there really was no innate darkness in the area so when we walked, everything, including ourselves, were perfectly visible, even as the sun was setting. This was going to be an issue. I had been banking on being able to come in under the shadows, but these woods were annoyingly cheerful and pretty. I swear I could see a bloody deer in the distance and it pissed me off.
Now, we knew that this was where those goody goodies had taken the Zebra, their location had never been a secret, but hey, Lightcore powers, they were scary, can’t just invade and wipe out the bastards. Beside, where would be the fun if they were all dead. The biggest problem was that because we had never ‘invaded’, we didn’t actually know EXACTLY where they were, and white tail woods were big. Not Everfree big, but big enough that this was going to take a while.
We headed off to the east first, moving slowly. As the light seemed to dim, the tree’s almost gave off their own glow in the moonlight that penetrated the leaves. Nothing ever went out of vision; there were no shadows dark enough to hide in. I was beginning to understand why this place had been chosen by those idiots…they weren’t idiots after all. At least, not completely.
“You should have picked someone else.” My partner growled to me.
“I would have loved to, but the others wouldn’t have stood a chance against Hayley, so that’s why I’ll need you. Besides, it’s not like you really do anything back home anyway.” I grumbled.
I felt a powerful grip on my neck coupled by a light red glow, and before I could yelp I was slammed against a tree.
“You’d do well to respect me more.”
“Hey.” I choked out. “I respect you, lots of respect here, totally respecting you.” I coughed before I was let go. I hit the floor with a thud. My partner walked past me, his cloak billowing out behind him unnaturally. I wondered if he was wearing it, or it was conjured. Probably the latter. My ‘partner’ wouldn’t want anything less dramatic than the perfect billowing cape.
I grumbled to myself and walked past him.
“I’m gonna try and get a better view.”
I spread my wings and launched myself into the sky. I flew through the tree canopy and out into the sky above. I landed on a branch and looked around, but unfortunately, this canopy was blocking any view of the ground I had. But there was one thing it couldn’t block.
Smoke.
I looked over to the west and saw some smoke rising from an area in the trees. How wonderful.
I flew down to the ground again. “I think I found them, this way.”
We turned back west and began walking, cracking tree twigs as we moved.
The smoke had been a good distance away, so I was wondering if how long it was really going to take to get there.
“What should we do once there?”
You’re asking me for advice?” I smirked at him. A light growl from under his hood told me I shouldn’t antagonise him much more. “Look, the plan is real simple. We get in there, you use your magic, hold them off. Attract the attention of little-miss-lightshow while I nab the Zebra.”
“So, I do the fighting while you run off?” He asked menacingly.
“Oh I’m sorry, do you want your h-” My sentence froze at the sight of a deer nearby. This one was a large buck with large powerful looking antlers. He stood there, regally, just watching us.
“It is just a deer.” My partner said scornfully.
“You sure about that?” I remarked as more deer approached from the shadows. We were surrounded, and from what I could see, they were adorned in glimmering necklaces and lace fabrics that acted as intricate tribal like outfits.
“You are not of this world.” Said the nearest buck. He was by far the largest of them, and he seemed powerful. He had an air of superiority about him; it made me want to hit him.
“They talk?” My partner queried curiously.
“No shit Sherlock. Want a medal for that observation?” I mumbled under my breath.
“What are you doing in my woods?” The buck asked, having made no move to approach or leave and neither had any of the others. They just watched us.
“We’re just looking for our friends.” I replied, smiling warmly. “They’re off in that direction we think; we saw the smoke of their camp.”
“Those in this wood are kept under our protection, and here at our invitation. You are not.” He cocked his head. “Your words sound of sincerity, but your heart is dark and that of a liar.”
“Well that’s just hurtful.” I mocked.
“You may be capable of convincing ponies with the slime from your mouth, but we of the forest can see the tar in your heart and soul, the way the darkness clings to you, drowning any light within. You are a puppet of the darkness.”
I seethed. “I am no one’s puppet.”
“The best of puppets believe they are free. No matter, your intentions here are clearly dark, and thus we shall allow you to pass no further.” The buck’s eyes suddenly began to glow.
White brambled vines suddenly erupted from the ground around us; they wove around our bodies and formed upwards, soon trapping us both in a cage of thick vines.
“That’s interesting.” My partner said. “Nature based magic, different from any I’ve seen in this world yet.”
The buck turned his eyes to my hooded companion. “Your eyes have not laid eyes on half the magic of this land alone, not counting those elsewhere. You are a child thinking yourself strong. I have seen your heart, Ka.”
The buck speaking his name shocked me. My partner chuckled and slowly red light began to scar its way down his cloak like a red nervous system. The cloak began to burn away and his wings slowly unfolded. Their bat-like visage spread wider than my own wingspan, and his red striped ebony body seared brightly as though each stripe were a scar in a dark twisted void.
“Even your chosen visage, is childish.” The buck said, not at all impressed by Ka’s appearance.
Ka looked at him. “Tell me, how does your magic work? Can you truly see into my soul? Do I even have a soul for you to see?”
“You come from a world of souls, and your own existence in that world is more akin to a spirit than a being of flesh and blood, the same as the puppet you have wrapped in your strings.” The buck’s eyes glanced at me when he spoke. My teeth grit tightly. I was getting very sick of being called a puppet.
“You know of my world?” Ka asked curiously. He seemed intrigued by this creature.
“I have seen it through your eyes. You never could defeat the Monkey King, could you?”
Was the buck mocking him? That was not a good idea!
Ka’s stripes began to glow fiercely and the wind around him began to pick up and swirl. The inside of the cage became stiflingly hot and instinct told me to hit the deck. I flattened myself to the ground and curled up tight as a wave of power suddenly erupted and burned away the cage entirely. The buck seemed surprised.
A nearby younger buck suddenly charged at Ka, but a single wave of the dark Alicorns hoof sent the young one back, smashing up against a tree. Another one charged, a doe this time, he lifted his other hoof and slammed it down. As though an unseen force had wrapped itself around the doe’s throat, she yelped and her face was suddenly slammed down into the ground with a sickening crunch.
The leading buck’s eyes glowed again and with a furious stomp, fire erupted around Ka in a circle, trapping him in the burning ring.
“Do you know how ki works in the world I come from?” Ka asked curiously, sitting down as though he were speaking casually. Hell, he never looked that casual at home, if I had to guess, I’d say he was actually enjoying himself.
“Ki,” Ka began, “is the life-force energy in all living things. It’s in every spirit, every living soul, the rocks, the trees, even the air. It is a form of energy that as spirits of our world, we can take and harness and forge.” He chuckled. “Our natural ability to take and forge that energy came with us to this world. Many of us can take and forge our own bodies into new forms if we choose too, I chose this one. You see, magic is just energy. Oh it’s fickle, has differences, limitations and even rules.” He said bitterly. “But it IS just energy, and it’s one we have used for millennia before coming here.” He raised his hoof and the fire around him suddenly began moving, forming into a ball of fire in his own hoof. “There is very little you can conjure, that I cannot bend to my will.” He extended his hoof and the fire erupted at the shocked buck. The buck lowered his large antlers, they glowed for a moment and the fire erupted and dispersed on impact. He then jumped and dived, his hooves glowing as he stamped down, attempting to crush Ka physically. Ka was quick.
It had been a very long time since I’d seen Ka fight, and though recently I had begun doubting any loyalty I might have to his all-mighty-redness, seeing him fight removed said doubt and replaced it with an eager grin.
Ka ducked and span under the hooves, lifting up, turning round and hooking his hooves around the deer’s neck, wrenching him over his back with brute strength. The deer yelped, slamming into the ground. He moved quickly though, rolling to recover before bucking out with a leg. Ka took the blow in the chest but his hooves latched down, capturing the leg before the buck could pull it back. He grinned, turned and threw.
The deer struck a tree hard.
Ka was almost graceful on the battlefield, but in the most scary kind of ways.
Other deer charged in. One went high, Ka ducked under and slammed his shoulder into the buck’s stomach, another went low and Ka took the blow, rolled with the momentum and slammed down with his hooves onto the bucks head. It split like a melon, splashing gore over the otherwise beautiful golden leafed ground.
A doe jumped on his back; he reached up, grabbed her round the head and flipped her over his shoulder, slamming her down onto the corpse of the other deer, the buck’s antlers spearing her through the gut. He bucked back with his hind legs, smashing into the throat of another deer that had approached from behind.
It was as I watched that I felt something sharp against my own throat. I went stiff.
“STOP!” I heard a young buck yell. The fighting stopped and Ka looked over to us.
The young buck was pure white with a golden necklace and piercing blue eyes, his horns were only half the length of any of the others. If I had to guess, he was barely more than a teenager. He also had a very sharp flint blade to my throat.
“If you do not leave these woods, I will kill him!” The buck’s voice was shaking. He was shaking. I could feel his weight on my back as he kept me pinned the ground.
Ka and I just stared at each other before Ka let out a wry chuckle.
“You think I care if he dies or not. It’s like your leader said, he is but a puppet.”
I felt a stab of hurt and anger rush through me at Ka’s words.
“Son.” I heard the Buck leader said. He was lying by the tree he’d been thrown at, and was staring at the buck on my back. “You were not supposed to come.”
“I can handle it father, I’ll make them leave.” The young boy said firmly. “I don’t believe you, he was leading you before, he may be under you, but you need his guidance, I can see it, you need him.”
I wondered if that was true.
“I don’t.” Ka said simply. I watched him; his eyes were boring into my own. “I am lazy.” He said with a light chuckle. “I do not like doing all of the work, so I sit around and make him do it for me, but I do not need him. Lately he has proven himself incompetent. I know where those I seek are now, I know they have in their possession what I need, and because of this, I no longer have need for a defective puppet.” Silence surrounded us. “So go ahead, kill him.” Ka began approaching.
“Son, run!” The leader shouted.
“Y-your bluffing...you wouldn’t!” Ka didn’t answer this time, he just smirked. “I mean it! I will!” I could feel the flint starting to bite into my throat now.
“Then do it.” Ka said with a grin. “And then you’ll die with him.”
The young buck visibly swallowed. “Then…I will die…knowing I have killed your puppet, and weakened your strength!” He was a courageous little thing. But I’d had enough.
“No, you won’t.” I said simply. I leaned down and suddenly grasped the double edged flint knife in my maw. I felt it cut into my cheeks and gums as I bit down. I turned and twisted, the buck yelled, I turned sharply, my hooves twisting his before I brought my muzzle round, driving the sharp point of the blade in my muzzle deep into the young buck’s throat.
“I am not a puppet.” I said softly to the young buck as he stared at me with wide shocked eyes. He fell down in a pool of blood. The leaders scream of grief echoed throughout the wood.
*
We left the rest alive. The leader was broken from the death of his son, and so many others that had tried to attack us.
“I hope you find what you are looking for.” The leader said sorrowfully to us. “And I pray it costs you your life in a way most agonising.”
Ka just chuckled in response, the cloak he’d worn before burning into being over his body again until it covered him like it had before.
I wondered if leaving them alive meant that they’d come back later on as foe’s, but considering today’s events, I didn’t know if I looked forward to it or not. It was interesting to fight someone other than Hayley and her gang from time to time. I supposed we’d find out at some point in the future. No point in looking back when the future held so many possibilities.
The woods swallowed us again. The gold’s and yellows surrounded us as we walked, and a soft silence became an ever present companion.
We approached the campsite slowly. I went in first; under the shadow of a tree I glanced into what I expected to be a small encampment. Instead what I found was something relating to a small village. The houses (and I DO mean HOUSES) were thatched on the roves and walls and they even had a few plantation areas of growing food. They’d gotten themselves a relatively small sustainable village in the middle of the woods. How quaint. They even had a lookout tower, which no one was currently manning. Maybe I was giving their intelligence too much credit these days.
I turned to my partner and smiled, nodding to him. “Okay, try not to let the Lightcore kill you, otherwise, have fun. I’ll get to the Zebra.”
I ducked into a bush and followed it round as Ka stepped past me into the encampment. I turned away from the scene and moved around one of the houses as stealthily as I could.
“Can we help you?” A female voice asked curiously. I turned to look where Ka was, still hooded. A golden brown earth pony with a pink mane in a ponytail stood before him. Megan Goldtail.
She was perhaps the kindest most wonderful mare a stallion could really meet in these cruel times…too bad.
“The glow of Ka’s red eyes met hers and she instantly backed up, then when her hooves stopped, she kept moving anyway, before she was suddenly flying off her hooves and smashing through a small thatched building across the way.
Everything went silent.
There were more than those I had expected in this town. I wondered if they were accepting visitors and traders, because I saw ponies here and there that I had never met before. But I did recognise some. Among them where two Alicorns, one who had achieved the Lightcore, and one who had achieved the form, but not yet the power. Hayley and Paige.
Paige.
My eyes lingered on hers from the shadow momentarily, and there was a part inside, so deep I could barely register its existence, that almost screamed at the sight of her. It was a scream of sheer agony. A scream that spoke of loss. And for a single moment, for a single minute instance, I could feel it inside before the darkness quelled it.
I turned away.
Ponies were running away now, trying to escape as one of the buildings erupted in flames. I could hear Ka’s echoing dramatic laughter easily over their screams of terror. I needed some cover, but thankfully, Ka gave me just that. The sky began to darken with his power and the wind picked up. The clouds thickened and suddenly rain began to fall. It quickly became a storm.
Well, maybe rain wasn’t my favourite kind of cover, but it’d do. I moved stealthily around another building, spying a second watchtower in the distance, and beside it, a medical building. Well…might be an appropriate place to house a Zebra that was good with potions. Or was assuming healing poultices all they do considered racist? Didn’t much care.
I moved closer to the building and slipped into the door, as an explosion behind me rocked everything. Ka was certainly enjoying himself.
The medical room was little more than a slightly bigger area than what might be in any of the other buildings. It was filled with medical beds and tools that might be used for surgeries. It made me curious how many injuries they had out here if they needed facilities like this so badly.
I moved to the left side, crossing five beds before coming to a partition. I moved it back and smirked as I looked down at a sleeping Zebra. Judging by the book on the bedside and the half eaten oatmeal bowl, I assumed she was only sleeping, and in no way still unconscious from the attack days ago.
I smirked as I picked up a nearby vase with nice pretty flowers in it. I tapped her shoulder. Her blue eyes opened and looked at me in surprise.
“Hey, I bet you’re getting sick of being knocked out.” I chuckled bringing the vase down on her head.
It smashed and scattered pieces to the floor, the Zebra slumping where she lay. I grabbed her and began picking her up.
“Drop her.” Ah, that musical familiar voice.
I turned and looked at her. Paige. Her Alicorn form was pretty much useless. She had little to no magical potential, which meant that even though the Lightcore had gifted her with immeasurable power, she had absolutely no idea how to use it. It was actually kinda funny.
“Or what? You can’t beat me.” I smirked.
“Please Phil.” She almost sounded like she was pleading.
“That’s not my name.” I chuckled. “It’s Shadow.”
“I’m not calling you that. You are Phil still…somewhere inside you.” This was kinda rich. Did she honestly think this would work?
There was a slight ache inside, a dark spot that was filled with what I could only describe as a dark box, where flashes of thoughts and feelings came from before the darkness drowned them out. But hey, I liked the darkness, it was comforting, it was useful, it made me strong.
“This has never worked before. Why would it work now?”
She almost smiled. “I don’t expect it to. But do you really ever expect me to stop trying?”
I thought about that answer. My answer was ‘no’, and I felt proud of her for that. What the fuck?! Why was I feeling proud of the enemy over something so stupid? And why did that even make me a little hopeful. Wait…was I smiling? I could feel it. There was a fucking smile on my face.
Okay, I don’t like it when bitches make me feel shit I don’t want to feel.
“Sorry, this conversation is over.” I slammed my hoof down on a nearby table, it flipped up a scalpel and with a bat of my wing I sent the sharp point into Paige’s shoulder. She screamed.
That was such a delicious sound it almost got my cock hard. I charged forward and slammed out with a hoof, forcing the blade deeper as she tried to move out of my way. Her larger and more powerful wing lashed out and struck my face, sending me sprawling. I rolled with the momentum. I looked up at her when I came to a stop on my hooves, only to see her hooves lash upwards and strike my chin. Ouch, that hurt.
I charged at her, lashing out with my right hoof. She dodged left, and I blocked one of her blows to my stomach. She reached with her mouth for the blade, latched on and pulled it out, slicing it at me. Flecks of her own blood splattered us both as well as the wall. I moved forward, raising a hoof. The blade sank deep. I let it. I moved in and thrust a hoof up as hard as I could between her legs, driving it against her hard. She yelped and fell down. I was on her fast, gripping her by the throat. My hoof was burning with pain from the slash; I had a bloody mouth and, god-damn-it, I was rock hard. I ground my cock against her bruised pussy for a moment and nickered softly.
“Oh I would love to fuck you…another time maybe.” I chuckled as I slammed my head against hers to knock her out. I licked my wounded foreleg before draping the zebra over my shoulder. I was tempted to sample the zebra but I ignored my urges right now.
Opening the door I looked out.
Ka had been busy.
The buildings were all but destroyed, the tower had been brought down, and the ground was quaking. The place rumbled as flashes of light and power erupted from the balls of powerful energy that sparked from the magical power of Hayley’s and Ka’s battle.
I moved around the edges, grunting at the waves of electrical heat that flashed from their devastating blows at each other. They’d already uprooted trees and buildings around them, I could see bodies and corpses of resiodents or visitors that had otherwise been around them. But I didn’t see the good guys making any attempt to heal them. Probably best to be honest, best to stop the cause of the death before actually stopping the death. Prevention was better than a cute.
I had no idea what I was talking about…or talking to myself about…or thinking. I hate my brain.
I slipped around one of the only intact buildings and moved for a gallop to the trees.
I knew exactly what I was doing, all I had to do what get far enough away. I glanced at Ka, wondering how I was supposed to signal him to fall back but…fuck it. I’ll leave him.
The forest denseness surrounded me again, and by the moonlight the forest came alive with a silver glow that radiated around us. The brown and gold leaves covering the ground that had reflected the sun in the day and twilight, now reflected the rays of the moon, giving me a somewhat silvery ground to walk on. It was quite beautiful, but I was also aware it kept my coat a firm target in contrast to its background. There was nowhere I could disappear. But as I travelled and walked, I found my fears unanswered and now quite moot. I was away from the encampment now; I could see the edge of the forest. This might actually be easy.
I managed to get onto the road, galloping back down the path. I thought about flying, but carrying another pony (or zebra in this case) was difficult as it was, I didn’t think I was in much of a position to fly.
The sounds of the fighting were left behind, and the eerie silence of the night swam around me as I trotted back merrily. The borders of Ponyville soon meeting my eyes.
I saw the different colourful houses and wondered how I might make it through the town without being spotted. I figured if asked, I could make up some excuse as to why I had an unconscious Zebra on my back. The good thing about this world and these ponies is that they were incessantly gullible. Seriously, I couldn’t understand it how a villain hadn’t taken them all over years ago.
I moved through the sleeping town quietly, and by my luck so far, it seemed I might actually make it through without much trouble.
“Heellooooo Pegasus.” My luck ran out. “What’chya doin’ with Zecora?” The pink mare from before was bounding around me.
“Shush, you’ll wake everypony up.” I hissed at her, adopting my usual casual tone. It’s a good thing I was such a good talker, or this might actually present a problem. “Zecora was helping me with something and tired herself out; I’m just taking her home.” I shrugged, playing like I was doing a good deed.
“Ooooh, can I come?” She asked, wriggling her rump a little. It was a little absent minded I was sure, but was she…looking at me suggestively?
“Erm, no, I’ll be fine, thank you for the offer anyway.” I moved past her and felt a knot in my chest loosen when it seemed she would let me. I left the pink mare behind me and entered the dangerous Everfree forest, making sure to go in the general direction of the Zebra’s hut at first.
Zecora, it was quite a nice name. I’m sure it had come up before, but I wasn’t the best at remembering them. Pony names were so bloody stupid after all, they were usually noun based, but I had no idea what a ‘Zecora’ was, or what it might mean, if anything.
I moved deeper into the forest, turned and finally headed in the proper direction back to our hideout.
I’d actually made it. My plan had worked.
I stepped into the castle that we had called our own and looked around. Maybe I should keep the Zebra for myself for the night before Ka came back. I grinned at the thought.
I spread my wings and flew up. Flying was much more difficult with a pony on my back.
We made it to my tower and I stepped through, depositing the unconscious Zebra onto my bed spread. I looked her over, admiring her form. She was toned, supple, and strong. She was adorned in jewellery that glinted in the night, and her tail, like all zebra, was thoughtfully small, and hid nothing of her rump. I grinned.
I moved down between her legs and let my tongue out, slowly licking over her folds, murring at the exotic taste. Her cunt tasted a little earthy, like she washed it in herbs. I felt her wriggle a little, letting out a soft unconscious moan in her state. I smirked, pulling my mouth from her, I moved over her form, and, after looking down at her with a smirk, I pushed forward, sliding into the unconscious mare with a groan.
“Oh that’s nice.” She was very tight and clenched my shaft in all of the nicest of ways. I could feel her heat around me, she was a little dry, but I didn’t much care. I began rocking, moving and thrusting gently. I looked down at her as her eyes opened, taking in the situation. She tried to move, but my hooves grabbed her and pinned her down. “Nope, you stay.” I grunted, moving a little more roughly. This was fun, I could already feel myself starting to swell. It didn’t matter if I lasted long, I could simply take her again if I wanted. I was getting close; my cock head had begun to flare. I was thrusting harder now, I wished she’d screamed but instead she just grunted. At the point where I almost climaxed I closed my eyes and felt a sharp pain suddenly lance through my neck.
“Argh!” I pulled out and backed off, bringing my hooves to my neck. I pulled out what looked to be a sliver of pottery, covered in my blood, and something…green.
The Zebra was looking at me, usually a mare in her position might have woken shaking and crying, but instead she was staring at me calmly.
“A trap you set, as best you can.
You thought it was easy, so good your plan.”
She stood up slowly, despite the ordeal of rape; she seemed in no way haggard. I however could feel myself shaking. I had already lost my arousal; my vision was swaying, and something inside was beginning to really fucking hurt.
“But your plan was ours, we knew you’d come.
And now none can stop what has begun.”
“What…what did you do to me?” I asked her, feeling a burn run through my brain as a cold sweat began to turn my coat clammy and moist.
“I have released what darkness has tried to bury,
I have released your memory.”
My eyes widened and then something snapped inside.
I felt it all, I saw it all, my life flashed in front of me and suddenly everything inside felt like it had doubled in weight. I felt a scream of agony rip through me like nothing I had ever felt or sounded before.
And for the first time in a very long time.
I remembered.
3) Shadow and the Weight of Sin
Shadow and Weight of Sin
Have you ever had a nail placed at your temple, and rather than it being tapped into your skull, the bastard just used a sledgehammer… basically making the nail pointless as your skull caves in?
Yeah, I WISH that was happening to me.
I remember blue skies, wistful clouds, and floating mountains, and deep valleys! I remember what it felt like to have FINGERS. Oh Celestia, did I miss having fingers. I imagine telekinesis is even better, but noooooo, I could only form wings. I don’t get a bloody horn. Hooves suck. Ya wanna know how much they suck? You can’t scratch your ass without contortionism!
I remember the sun… warm and close and sparkling. The world had seemed so bright there. It was bright here but the sun felt different, the air felt different, this world felt different. This world of ponies feels tingly, like it vibrates and buzzes with the power of magic, but the world I come from shone with life. True life. Life was everything, it was the sun and sky, it was the hills and tree’s, it was the body and mind and life was power. Life was chi. Energy was ours to wield and blow and crush and gain and soar!
I miss fingers.
I miss life.
“The fuck!” I jolted awake again for the fifth time. Dreams and visions swam through my head, my brow dripped in sweat, my back ached, my cock was stiff, and my eyes felt like they were burning in the light.
“You would do well to stop fighting,
I know this can be frightening.”
“Sit on my cock and spin you striped cunt!” I snapped at the Zebra to my left. She’d been watching me contently for the last three days. Her potion had seriously fucked me up. I remember my world breaking the moment it kicked it, right after I’d been enjoying her cunt too. But suddenly I had all these feelings, and memories, and my life felt like it’d shattered. I could remember all the things I’d done, all the things I’d chosen to do. I remembered how to feel guilt.
I hated that feeling. I buried it, I fought it, I stabbed and tore at it and shoved it under the rock and rubble of my soul! But nothing helped. It permeated through what I did, it tore right back at me, retaliating against everything I did, harder and harder. If it was a bitch I’d have a hardon for how tenacious it was… as it stands, instead it just sucked. And not in the good way.
“Why must you fight, when only pain it brings.
Do you not want these memories to cut your strings?” She asked, relaxing back on her cushion. She hadn’t bothered tying me down, or keeping her distance. I was in so much pain in my head, she knew I wasn’t much of a threat right now.
“Wow, rhyming ‘brings’ and ‘strings’.” I mocked, “you must be a regular Wu Cheng En.”
“I do not know of whom you speak-”
“-Of course, you don’t” I interrupted, rolling my eyes and laying back down on the pillow. A hoof raised and ran over my cheek and head. I felt like a melon that was being split.
I could feel the Zebra’s eyes studying the back of my head. “Where are you from? You lack a pony’s grace.
Are you a creature, or a changeling from another place?”
“Why do you rhyme, all the bloody time?” I asked, turning to her, fully aware I’d just accidently rhymed myself.
Zecora noticed it too, her smirk said as much. She leaned back a little more, relaxing into the cushions it seemed. She was very beautiful, very exotic. Despite the pain, I felt my lust stirring again.
“I come from forest, and jungle, and desert heat,” she began, “With humid air, and drums that beat.
My culture values life and respect,
Integrity, and honesty, our traditions protect.
Rhyming is hard, to form a lie.
On the spot its attempts die.
Young foals learn this, and traditions keep it true,
So long as I rhyme, I do not lie to you.”
That was actually… interesting. “So, you never lie?”
Zecora shrugged with a smile, “the theory goes, that so long as I rhyme,
To form a good lie, I do not have the time.”
I looked her up and down and scoffed. “That’s stupid.” She only smiled as I turned away from her, burying my head into the feather pillow.
I thought about that though. A culture that never lies.
I closed my eyes, and let sleep take me again.
Lies.
“YOU ARE MINE!” The yell was piercing and reverberated through his head like knives.
“I am not…” I said to myself. I belonged to no one. No pony, no man, no god, no creature. I was my own. I was of the Shi Banto. I am not a puppet!
I realised I was yelling into my own head.
“The best of puppets believes they are free…” A voice rose around me, drowning out my own screams as I clutched my head with fingers… fingers… I looked at my own hands… hands… I had-
“HANDS!” I yelled as I sat upright in the bed. My breathing was heavy as I stared at the hardwood of the cabin wall. My eyes lowered to his outstretched… hooves.
“You have hooves. Hands be the joy of minotaur’s and the like,
Such an exclamation has caused-”
“Your curiosity to spike?” I snapped. She went silent. “That’s the rhyme, right? That’s what you were going to say?”
She looked away, “perhaps.”
I scoffed. She was easy to read. I laid back, closing my eyes and waited for my head to stop feeling like it was being gripped in a vice. “Why did you do this to me?”
“Why? Why did I save you?
By showing you what is true?”
I rolled my eyes at the rhyme. “It’s not true, it’s all bullshit.”
I could hear the zebra mare chuckle, her voice a musical note that was actually attractive. I’d enjoy fucking her up, if I could ever get out of this bed.
“Do you think my potion lies?
That is shows you things in disguise?
I do not make such foolery,
It would be seen through far too easily.
Even by you, a pony that’s such a git,
So, no… it is not bullshit.”
Yeah, like I’d believe her.
*
The night was silent when I woke, and the sound of snoring near me turned my head. The mare was asleep. I could see her form in the darkness, the white of her fur glistening in the moonlight. I slipped from the bed, my hooves shaking below me. The pain had either numbed itself, or lessened as I’d slept. But instead of drills in my head, I only felt like I was being continuously punched. I could deal with that.
Slipping towards the door, I opened it and stepped from the room into a kitchen. Looking around, I saw a table that was strewn with herbs and poultices. Looking to the front door, I opened it. The rush of cool air bathing my face was wonderful, seeming to refresh me all over. I stepped into the night, looking up into the sky, at the stars… my eyes fell on the moon.
The world twisted at that moment.
~
風生律普… 鳳安音坤 …
He would soar in gales and twisted winds…
Life was his breath…
The riotous hand… the subservient sacrifice of law…
A mind open to the greatest mysteries of the universe and heaven…
~
“…It is you, it is you!”
Flashes… shapes… a raft…
“Wife indeed!... Whoever heard of a…”
The world tilted a gain. A tail, another flash… a staff. I heard a laugh. She-fiends with such ridiculous hair! They should have forgone the twigs!
“I was very fond of strange stories when I was a child…”
Someone was screaming… someone was shaking him, but I couldn’t tell if it was real or if it was my imagination. A voice came from the darkness, a darkness that was far too bright…
“The earth is black in front of the cliff, and no orchids grow.
Creepers crawl in the brown mud by the path.
Where did the birds of yesterday fly?
To what other mountain did the animals go?
Leopards and pythons dislike this ruined spot;
Cranes and snakes avoid the desolation.
My criminal thoughts of those days past
Brought on the disaster of today…”
My eyes flashed open and I saw the moon again. The moon was as bright as the sun.
“Nothing in this world is difficult, but thinking makes it seem so. Where there is true will, there is always a way…”
My world came crashing back to reality, I stumbled, I tripped, the ground came to me faster than I could react. And soon I was laying there… was I in pain? I couldn’t tell. My face was wet… things were in and out of focus… a face… then darkness.
*
I woke up with a start.
“Waking up like this, for you a habit it has become,
With all your nightmares, I am surprised you are not numb.
You speak in your sleep, in strange tongues I do not know,
I know many, so it is surprising that is so.”
I could only grunt and turn away from her, my entire body felt like it was made of rubber. But… beneath it, there was a strength. I could feel a small mote of it coming back to me.
“Nà shì lìng rén jīngyà de?” I asked, letting my smile gently touch my lips, the familiar language flowing from my lips like a refreshing breath.
Her own lips twisted into a wry smile to join my own. “You are teasing me, yes?
At least you have calmed your distress.” She said with an amused tone.
“I was just asking if it’s so surprising?” I shrugged in answer, “that you find someone that might know something you don’t, that is.”
The Zebra’s mare could only chuckle her musical laugh. “You think I am not as humble as I should be?
That my pride sets other ponies below me?”
I scoffed, “is this where you prove that idea wrong?” I asked with a raised brow, turning over to look at her.
“No.” She said, surprising me. “We all have our virtues, and our sins. Pride is mine to bear the weight,
Perhaps with some self-reflection you could look to your own list of sins, and find a starved virtue to sate.”
She slipped from the rug and turned her back to me, heading for the door. My eyes slipped down her form and settled on her rump. As she walked, the Zebra’s tail slipped to the side periodically, giving me an unobstructed view of her marehood. I could feel a pang of lust swell in my groin… before I realised that it was puffy… and her lips looked sore. She’d been hurt when I’d raped her. The lust became regret, which in turn only turned to anger that I was feeling anything like that at all.
Why in Equestria should I be feeling regret?
I don’t regret things!
But I did… I couldn’t understand it. The potion was only supposed to give me my memories back… but then again. Had I ever really lost them? I knew who Paige was. Who Hayley was. I knew their histories, the Lightcore, where I came from. I remembered it all. But why were certain memories so strong now when before they were motes of dust in my mind. More… facts than memories. Somehow… things felt off. Things felt weird. It was like my brain was remembering how to do something that it had long forgotten… how to feel something.
Regret.
Of all the things I remembered…
I realised that I was remembering how to regret.
*
The darkness of the night enfolded in on me, and my sleep was haunted by dreams of far off places, and words that spoke whispers into my ears and heart. A heart that ached.
I could hear screaming, a cacophony of screams and maniacal laughter. It took a while to realise that I was the one laughing… but I was also the one screaming. Below myself. Looking up at myself. My body burning, my insides churning, the pain and guilt and embarrassment as I felt myself thrust again and again. I was being raped. Raped by myself. I could feel it thickening inside, me, something exploded, and I sat up with sweat dripping from my brow.
The room was smoky, the wall had caved in, a mare lay unconscious on the ground, and someone with a coat so dark it stood out against the pitch of the night.
“My, my, my. How the mighty have fallen.”
I knew that voice, but my brain was in shambles. Was this still a dream or- “…Dingy?”
“Hey shit-stain.” I saw the flash of pearly white teeth before something flew out of the dark and pain flashed as I spiralled into darkness unconscious.
*
Ya know what… I think I’m really tired of falling unconscious, or being knocked unconscious. Either the next time my eyes close, I die in my sleep, or I search heaven and earth for a potion that stops me from ever falling asleep again.
My eyes opened slowly for the millionth time in only a few days, and they fell upon two eyes marred with heterochromia. The left was a goldish brown, and the right was a dazzling blue. But they weren’t pretty. They sat upon the worst mug in all of Equestria.
“Oh fuck, it’s you.”
Dingy’s eyes lit up with humour and he cackled loudly. “Wow, now that’s a greeting to the guy that just saved your life.” Dingy was young, in comparison to the others. Well, as young as any of us were, which entirely depended on what yearly system you were going with. Equestria’s, or homes. The stallion had a Pegasus form, like myself, though while my coat was a violent purple, his was a pure black that glistened and shimmered in the night. His fur always looked nice and silky. His mane and tail were a vivid green that stood our brightly against his coat, and his cutiemark was a red shield crossed with two swords.
He was a warrior like me, and something of a rival. Well, he thought so anyway. We’d both been trained by Ka, and both took pleasure in much the same things, though I thought him an idiot. We’d fought many times, and I’d always beaten him. He was probably loving that it was HIM of all people to save me.
“You hit me… I think.” I replied with a mumble.
“Yeah, but can ya blame me?”
I couldn’t. I’d have hit him too in the situation, probably harder than he did. I reached up to rub my head at the spot where he’d struck, or at least, I tried to. But I quickly became aware of the ropes around me.
“Dingy… why am I tied up?”
“Well, that slut had probably cooked up a brew and fucked with ya head a bit, you were in the bed and not tied down after all. The only reasons I can think of that you wouldn’t have cracked open her skull and fucked the corpse, is that she’d incapacitated you.” He said with a grin. “Unless you were there ‘willingly’.” The tone in his voice wasn’t lost on me.
“What are you insinuating?” I asked, my eyes narrowing.
He shrugged and his smirk grew a little wider.
“Nothing that Ka won’t when I tell him the position I found you in.”
I was dragged.
Literally dragged.
He had me bound up, hanging from the saddle system he wore as he flew, and the bastard purposely flew only just high enough for my arse to scrape the ground.
A volley of painful stones in the testicles later, we stopped at the rundown shithole we called our castle base. Ah, the crumbling walls, the destroyed towers and nary a roof that didn’t have a gaping hole in it. Not to mention that pungent smell of shit.
Yup, this was home-base alright.
THUD!
I hit the floor and grumbled, spitting dirt from my mouth as I moved my sore body to a sitting position.
“Shadow.” The voice cut through the air like a knife.
“Greeting’s your Black-and-Redness.”
A hoof struck my cheek hard, sending me sprawling to the floor. I tasted the copper of blood in my mouth, and licked at it with my tongue. It was a better flavour than the dirt, after all. Instinctively I tried to raise my hoof to wipe my mouth but… ropes.
“You are an embarrassment.” Ka said, his blue steely eyes glaring down at me.
“That’s what my dear old ma used to say,” I jested.
“I’ll bet.” Ka’s eyes narrowed as he looked down at me, he looked mighty displeased. His blue eyes twinkled against he black and red striped hide that seemed to pulse and glow with the contained power. Power he could wield only a fraction of with the broken stub of a horn he sported. “You were supposed to bring the Zebra, to me.”
“I tried.”
“Did you?” He asked accusingly. “Did you threaten her?”
“Yes.”
“Knock her unconscious.”
“Yes, I did.”
“Fuck her?”
“Of course.”
WHACK!
The hoof hit me so hard that I felt my body leave the floor and my breath catch in my lungs painfully. The wall I hit was hard, my wings felt almost crippled from the impact, and I quickly met the sweet embrace of the ground below as my body flashed warnings of pain and broken parts.
“You fucked her?” Ka asked calmly, despite the outburst of physical violence. He approached slowly. “You weren’t supposed to fuck her… you were supposed to BRING HER TO ME!” He yelled. His hooves reared up and I felt a sickening crack follow a blow that blew out what little breath I still had in my lungs. My ribs flared in pain, only for me to scream again when those hooves descended once more. And again. And again. My head swam with pain, and soon it was all I could feel. Like in an ocean of it, I felt like I was floating. The sharp jolts and cracks as broken rib followed broken rib. Eventually it stopped.
“Clean him up.”
Ka’s orders were followed immediately. I thought I’d pass out again, but instead I just experienced everything in a daze. The world seemed to swim by as I was carried. Magic that slowly began to restore my body only resulted in more pain burning through me as the ribs were re-aligned. Potions were used to help increase the flow of blood, and bandages were used to keep things in place. Slowly the world began to make sense again.
“Batty?” I asked, only now noticing who it was that was bandaging me up.
“You had to go and give me work to do.” The stallion sighed. His red eyes met my own. He had the form of a Bat Pony, hence the nickname. He didn’t use his real name anymore. Batty had a dark mane and a grey coat, his red eyes were quite vibrant and when he grinned, a set of pearly fangs could be seen.
“Yeah… sorry about that. Think I fucked up.” I sighed, testing the bandages. “Not bad work.” I mused, flapping my wings experimentally.
“I can actually do things ya know.” Batty grumbled.
“Really?” I smirked, “I figured your specialty was sleeping.”
Batty only grunted before a small smile graced his cheeks. “I heard you had some fun with the Zebra.”
I couldn’t help but smile myself, even as that strange pang of guilt hit mew again like before. I pushed it away and tried to hold my grin.
Batty bumped his flank against me. “What was she like?” He asked, obviously wanting juicy details. His hoof slipped under my barrel and I felt it on my sheath, drawing a nicker from my lips. “Was she tight?”
I felt my stallionhood peak from my sheath before I pulled away from the stallion’s hoof.
“I’m not in the mood.”
“Your cock says otherwise. Come on, lets go find a mare or two. What about Zero? Bet we could give him a good rutting.”
I shook my head. “I think… I just need rest.”
I ignored his dejected looks and moved passed him. “Thanks for patching me up.” I said sullenly. I spread my wings and flew. The action brought a stab of pain through my chest, but I fought through it. Moving to the top of the tower I called mine, I slipped into my area. It was a dull lit area in a golden glow from a nearby ever burning lamp. I slipped into my comfy bed and tried to let myself get some rest.
But my mind had other ideas.
As I lay there, my mind wandered. What had happened to me out there? What was going on with me? It didn’t feel like that potion did anything other than make me depressed.
Then the pain began again. Something was flaring, I was shaking and biting into my pillow as my brain ran through the old days. Ran through the old memories. And then there were memories… that were not so old…
Death.
I saw the dead bodies of my friends… friends. I shook my head, my eyes starting to water. It was just the pain, they were watering from the pain. That’s all!
I saw the blast of dark magic. I saw the bodies on the ground. I knew it was my fault. I’d caused this, I’d caused their deaths and misery… that blast looked so inviting. I could save them, save them from that fate.
I leapt.
The wall met me.
With a yelp, I fell down and clutched my now bloody nose. A crack of thunder above told me a storm had arrived, and the heavy rain hit the stones of my tower like loud, heavy drums.
Those drums were like an accompaniment to the beat of my heart. It thudded and pounded in my chest in a way that almost hurt.
I’d killed them. I’d done terrible things as a friend, and it had gotten many of those I cared for, either in misery, or suffering the embrace of death. I’d deserved this. Deserved to be a puppet and a slave for the enemy. To do unspeakable things in their name. This was a burden. The weight of everything that I had done poured into me, tearing at me…
Something snapped free.
I’d felt things breaking, I’d felt them creaking and cracking, I’d felt them tearing. But now it was free. Something had torn itself from me and suddenly a burning pain lit up my nerves. I couldn’t scream. The pain was so much my throat tightened and I felt like I was going to die.
The world turned red and something came out of my screaming mouth.
For the trillionth time in only a few days. My world went black.
*
The place didn’t seem familiar at first. My mind seemed to fail at restarting itself. I looked down at my hooves, and for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why my blue coat felt confusing… wait… blue?
I felt like it should be purple. A dark purple… but it was a bright blue.
“Zhèlǐ fāshēngle shénme?” The words were easy in my mouth, and I had to shake my head as my thoughts shifted from one language to another.
Names were weird. I remembered two… a conversation… something… a voice…
“Phillip.” She said with a cheery expression.
“Phillip?” He found himself asking, screwing up his face in distaste.
“It has a few meanings… one of them is ‘friend’, another is ‘horse’, because ya know, we’re horses now?” She giggled. Her beautiful face lit up when she spoke.
“It sounds silly.”
“Feng, can you at least try it. I worked hard on this.”
He sighed at her and nodded. “Phillip. I dunno… maybe. Where’d you get it from?”
She looked sheepish. “Okay, I may have taken some liberties.” He didn’t like the sound of that. “Okay, so, in our tongue it’d be spoken more like firripu. And well, I took your name, Feng Lian Yin Kun, and broke up its meanings.”
“My Ki aspects?” He asked curiously, “you broke up my ki aspects to come up with a name?”
The mare hit him in the shoulder and he playfully said ‘ow’. “I’ll do it again if you interrupt me.” She warned.
He chuckled, “alright, alright.”
“So yes, your name, your ki aspects, Wind, Life, Law and Universal. I took them and I used another dialect. This dialect uses our script but with symbolic translations as well as pronunciation translations. So, the syllables ‘fir-ri-pu’ actually mean Wind, Life, Law and Universal. And a classic Greek name meaning ‘Friend’ is ‘Phillip’ which is the abbreviation of Firripu. So, Phillip it is. How does it sound?””
I still thought it sounded silly, but I could tell she’d worked really hard on this, so I just smiled at her.
“Phillip, I like it.”
Phillip…
Feng Lian Yin Kun…
Phillip…
My eyes seemed to focus. I felt like I was waking up. Waking up from a nightmare. I slowly padded to the broken mouth of the tower and I looked out at the ruins and desecration. Ponies below, fighters, warriors, dreadful ponies, all of which would do harm to others. And for the first time in a long while, fear welled up in my gut.
I looked into a small pool of rainwater that had gathered nearby. My mane was lighter, my eyes were a bright auburn, and my coat seemed lustrous. No longer cloaked in that darkness. I no longer felt that oppressive weight on me.
I was no longer Shadow… the shadow had finally left me. Suddenly everything came rushing back. I’d had pieces before, feelings, understandings, emotions I couldn’t place… but now it all made sense.
Ka. He’d taken me. His horn. His power. That blast of possessive light, that dreadful laugh. He’d been aiming at those I cared for, those I was sworn to protect. I’d jumped in the way. But it wasn’t just a noble ‘in-the-moment’ thing. I knew what that was. I knew what that light would do to me. I’d already made so many mistakes, but the others, they were pure, they didn’t deserve to shoulder the weight of evil deeds. I knew I’d be used to attack my friends, to hurt them, but I would rather bear that guilt than let those I loved have to deal with that.
Memories of my actions burned through me. I’d killed, I’d tortured, I’d raped. There was a slave in the cellar so broken he probably didn’t know his own name. There were others I’d defiled and attacked. I bit my lip.
This was good, wasn’t it? This was the point. To feel this, to feel this guilt and pain, to feel like my heart was tearing open with the weight of my sins. That was the whole damn point.
I had to find the others.
Looking down, making sure I wasn’t being watched, I spread my wings and took to the skies, flying off into the forest.
I was not aware of the eyes on my back.
*
The rush of trees passed me littered my vision as I swooped and slalomed through the towering wooden giants. Brown, green and golden blurs of life that I had previously never noticed, or at least, never appreciated, melded together into an abstract vision of something beautiful and living. Something I’d felt my life had been lacking till then.
The camp came into view. It was insane that we lived so close to each other, acres and acres apart, but in a forest like this, practically next door. Our secret wear in the woods and skies above the pastel ponies that played below. They dealt with their Changelings, and their Sombra’s, and their Nightmare Moon’s. While we dealt with our own shit. Our own dangers and demons that threatened us, and this world as a whole.
We were the guard. The wall against the wrath of Ka. So long as we kept him at bay, he could not spread and infect this colourful world. Not like I’d done much in the way of being a wall recently… years. I’d spent YEARS as his slave. Believing I had free will. Chastising Ka, judging him, mocking him, yet all while doing his bidding. All while raping and destroying and killing for his pleasure. I felt like throwing up.
I saw them through the tree’s. I saw each of them, they danced and played, and sang. Their camps were small, but they were there. They were just as I’d left them.
They moved about their small camp. There’d been a huge battle middle of last year that they still; hadn’t recovered from, and mine and Ka’s attack the other day had only worsened thing. One might wonder why they didn’t move location if they could be attacked so easily, but the answer was in the large tent at the other end of the camp.
Hiro, their leader, was in a coma. They couldn’t be moved easily without risking their life, so they were all forced to stay in this open and vulnerable spot. It had put them on high alert. High enough alert for me to feel a cold blade press itself to my shoulder as I sat there.
I knew they’d see me.
“Duì bù qǐ, Adam, I’m not here to harm anyone.” I spoke my words slowly, raising my hooves and slowly standing up. Eyes turned to me. “I knew you’d see me coming.”
“What are you doing here you snake?” The stallion behind me asked as the others approached.
Among the crowd of familiar faces, one pushed through to the front. Her white coat was contrasted by her sun-yellow mane.
“Nǐ hǎo, Paige.” I said, a little breathlessly as my eyes looked into hers.
She took a step towards me. She was powerful, one of the most powerful people I’d ever known. She’d even once been considered for the great western journey, but she was unrefined. Raw power, with little to no control. As far as I understood it, Sarah was teaching her. At least, that’s how things went before I’d left them.
But now I was back, and Paige looked at me with sad eyes. She reached up, her hoof gently grazing against my cheek. She looked surprised and I saw my blue coat reflected in her eyes.
“Phillip?” She asked, as though barely believing her own eyes. That name felt strange. I’d heard it for years, then I’d heard Shadow. For a long time neither had been my name, inside I was Feng. But outside, hearing her voice say that name, the one she’d given me… it sounded like home.
“Tie me up.” I said simply. “Do what you need to do, get Sarah to cast any spell, figure out what you need to figure out so that you can trust that I’m really me.”
She seemed surprised at this suggestion, I even felt the blade against my back lessen in pressure.
She looked at me curiously before speaking, “why?”
“Because the Zebra you had here, I took from you while Ka distracted you. She saved me from Ka, but at the cost of herself. She’s with them right now, and she can restore Ka’s horn.”
Paige’s pupils dilated in fear. The horn. Ka was powerful, extremely powerful. But he had a single weakness. His horn. So long as it was broken, he couldn’t spread his influence. Ka was a master of chi magic, specifically magic of the mind. He could bend anyone to his will. But in the form of a Pony, the one he’d chosen, he had to channel that power through his horn. So long as it was broken, he couldn’t access that power. That broken horn was the only reason his influence hadn’t taken over all of Equestria, and our little war with him had kept itself deep within these dangerous forests. The only reason the pony world was blissfully unaware of the danger he posed.
Paige’s shocked eyes closed for a moment, and when she opened them, she had a resolve in her eyes I had no seen in a long time. She stared at me, looking closely, looking for any hint of a lie.
“I believe him… gather everyone.” She said, turning to the others.
“We can’t do this.” Adam said from behind me, “we’re barely recovered.”
Paige turned on him, a fire in her eyes, “we don’t have a choice. We’re going to War.”
*
I was bound, of course, just in case. Adam was near me. He looked like me. Which… was weird. I’d recognised his presence and voice, but he looked totally different from when I last saw him. He’d changed his coat and mane and seemed to take on my visage, as a way to mourn my passing. Not that I’d died, but he’d seemingly preferred to think of me as dead, considering the circumstances.
“So… the colours.”
He grunted, “you were my friend. I thought you weren’t coming back.”
“I’m touched,” I replied kindly.
“Shove it up your ass.”
I shrugged at his snap and looked ahead of me, following the slow procession of ponies through the tree’s. This was going to be a nightmare of a day, and I felt like many here would not make it back.
This was a fool’s mission.
The only positive that I could see, was that the mission wasn’t to win. It was just to stop the Zebra. So long as Ka didn’t have his horn, there was a chance. If he got it back, he’d be unstoppable.
I looked around, the shape of the tree’s, the position of the moss on the bark. I knew this foliage. We were close to the ruins.
“I need to be untied.” I hissed. “We’re almost there and I can’t help if I’m tied up.”
Adam just snorted, “you’re not going anywhere.”
“And if I die?” I snapped. He didn’t reply.
I heard a distant horn. We’d already been seen. I had no idea what Paige’s plan was. Did she really think a frontal assault was a good idea? Then again… it WOULD occupy them and draw the forces to the front. If she was smart, she’d have taken a contingent-
“Move!” Adam hissed, yanking me from my thoughts and away from the path and the others. We were pulled off to the side, and were met by two others. Sarah and Geo. I got glares from Geo.
“Hey.” I said sheepishly, looking at him, trying to give him a smile. Geo was smaller than the others, and a bit of a coward. Which was probably why he was pulled away from the main fight. But those glares felt dangerous, like I was the one person he’d love to fight. I’d killed his twin brother after all… Leo. I could still feel the blade slicing through neck if I thought too hard about it.
Geo didn’t answer. Sarah looked to me with an unimpressed look. She didn’t seem to be buying that it was really ‘me’. “You’re gonna lead us in to the Zebra, I’m going to knock out the Zebra with a spell, and then me and Geo will help carry her out of there while Alan keeps an eye out for enemies, and an eye on you. Get moving.” She poked me in the flank with her weapon. I meeped as the sharp blade almost cut into my skin.
We moved away from the sounds of fighting, and a few explosions had me concerned for my friends. But I kept moving, moving around the ruins and through cracks to get into areas that would otherwise require different routes. Slowly we worked our way inwards.
I saw the main hall, and moved them round the front. It was guarded, but they didn’t see us. Slowly we moved to the windows and I pointed in.
The Zebra was there, and she didn’t look happy. She was chained to the wall by magical chains, and Ka, alone in the room, wandered back and fourth in front of her.
“You will tell me what I need to know.” He smirked. “I am quite adept in loosening tight lips.” The red and black bastard licked his lips in a menacing and perverted manner.
“You would do well to let me go,
I am not an easy foe.” Zecora warned him, her eyes narrowing threateningly.
Ka could only cackle in delight at her words. “I do enjoy it when I’m challenged. It keeps things interesting.” His hoof lashed into the Zebra’s stomach hard enough for her eyes to widen and her throat to clench as she coughed, looking for all the world that she might vomit.
Still, despite this, she managed to open her mouth and speak, “your best… has already tried to best me.
Yet defeat him I did, certainly.”
“Defeat him?” Ka cackled. A flash of light drew my attention and my eyes widened as a dark aura that was outlined in red and seemed to crackle and spark flew down and began circling Ka as though he were an old friend. Something about that magic made my skin crawl and my mane stand up on end.
“Oh?” Ka began, looking it over. “Now I see, that is why they knew to attack now. Why they are so desperate.2 He cackled again. “So, I see you have ripped the Shadow from young Feng. Or, Phillip as he went by.” He smirked to himself. “But this was a poor choice of yours to make.” He turned to the Zebra and I confess I was eager to hear his next words. “I cannot take this power back into me. Not without my horn. This spell is a conscience, it is sentient. As I cannot take it back into me, it must seek a new host. And I can think of none better… than one that would give me everything I need to once again BE COMPLETE!”
The magic suddenly rushed at Zecora. It erupted into her body and she screamed in pain as her body began to glow and flash, pulsing with energy before suddenly the energy was torn from her and once again circled Ka.
Ka looked at it and her curiously. “You have protected yourself…”
“A potion I took…” she panted, trying to form the next line in her rhyme, but she didn’t seem to have the strength.
“Impressive.” Ka said with a smirk, “I think I shall enjoy breaking you. But until then, perhaps I should choose another… perhaps that bitch Paige.” He laughed.
I felt like my throat had been rubbed raw with sandpaper. I turned to the others, only to find a blade in my face.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Sarah asked, her eyes narrowed, the others looking at me warily.
I held up my hooves in surrender to her blade, “please. We need to save Paige.” I felt my heart beating in my chest hard enough that I thought it might burst. Behind me I could hear screams. Ka had begun his torture of the Zebra, it wouldn’t be long till she told him how to fix his horn.
“You’re not leaving here unless it’s with that Zebra. Paige can take care of herself, if Ka regains his horn, it’s all over.”
I couldn’t argue with that, so I turned away from them. “You’re right… I’m sorry.”
They seemed mollified for the moment. “It’s fine, we just need to get down there-”
“-No.” I interjected. “I’m not apologising about that, I’m apologising for this.” I dropped to the ground and kicked out behind me hard. I struck both of them with my hooves hard enough to send them flying back, turning around my hoof came down across the face of Geo, sending him sprawling to the floor. Before they could react, I spread my wings and launched into the air.
I had to save Paige.
The wind rushed past my, blowing my mane in the wind as the sound of battle and the clashing of blades grew louder. I looked down. Paige was locked in combat with Batty. Her blade swinging around to aim for his neck, only for him to dance away with a cackle. I saw the power, the possession magic heading for her.
I dived.
My wings angled, by body streamlined and I plummeted towards her, my hooves striking her and launching her out of the way as the magic crashed into the ground where she had once stood. I rolled with her and ended up on top of her, my mind shifted to days of old intimate times and a warmth in my sheath made me long for them again. But the pounding of my heart and the fear in my mind staved off such thoughts and desires, in place they came with panic.
“Stay down!” I yelled, turning around, spinning as I did. My mouth slipped up my blade and lashed up, the tip slicing through one of BATTY’S EARS. Blood splashed the ground and he backed off, yelling in pain, clutching the bleeding stump on his head. Batty backed off, gritting his teeth. It was fortunate that at that moment, Adam came up behind him and drove Batty to the ground, occupying him so I could focus on the magic that had reared its head again. I danced around Paige, blocking its path to her.
“WHAT IS THAT?!” She yelled, looking more scared than I’d seen her in a long while, more than she ever was of me as Shadow.
“It’s Shadow, the possession, it’s what was in me. It’s trying to take you like it took me!” I yelled at her, yelping as I drove her to the ground again out of the way of another attack. “This is too dangerous, you have to go back to the camp.”
“We can’t!” Paige protested. “If Ka get’s his horn back we’re all fucked!”
I rounded on her. “I CAN’T LOSE YOU AGAIN!”
She looked at me with tears in her eyes, and I looked from her to the swirling power.
“Phillip… Feng… Please. Don’t.” She knew what I planned to do.
I turned to her. “You all can fight me. You’ve done it before. You can fight and you can hate me. You can manage it. It’ll be just like before. But you Paige… you’re too dear. Too strong. I couldn’t face you like that. And I can’t have the horrible things it will make you do on your conscience. I can live with it… I don’t want you to have to.” I felt the tears running down my cheek. “That tower there is mine. Before you all leave, the chest inside has a bunch of papers. It has everyone in Ka’s army’s name, as well as their weaknesses. It even has a few of mine. Take it, here’s the key.” He pulled a key from his hoof and shoved it into her hoof. “Now get everyone out of here! GO!”
I TURNED BACK TO THE MAGIC, AND IT FELT LIKE IT WAS LOOKING AT ME. Paige, crying as she called to them, managed to gather everyone and start a tactical retreat. I breathed a deep breath, probably my last as Feng… no. Phillip. I was Phillip. If I lived as Shadow, and if I died as Shadow… I wanted Paige to remember me as Phillip.
I closed my eyes, and charged the magic.
*
I remember the pain.
I remember the flash of light, the screams of terror… the blood on my hooves. I also remember a face, a face in my mind that brought warmth to my heart, even as it brought a sadistic smile to my lips. Inside I looked out, understanding, seeing all, and knowing I was committing horrible deeds.
Ka regained his horn that day.
The power he wielded was devastating, and what comes from this I cannot say.
I saved Paige. I saved her. Saved her from this weight that would drag me down to be lost forever in the Diyu… or maybe I’d got to Tartarus. This is their world after all.
I’d deserve it. Every inch. But I can bear that, I can bear the pain and the grief and the self-hatred. I can bear the guilt and the self-torture that comes from it.
I bear it because I am not Shadow. I look out with pained eyes through hateful ones, and I know deep inside I am not Shadow.
I am Feng Lian Yin Kun.
I am Phillip.
1) Shadow and the Arcane Search
Shadow and the Arcane Search
Evil. Darkness.
These were nothing but silly concepts constructed by weak minded fools that knew nothing of the real world. But what world was real? Years spent in this strange world had not yet acclimated me to its ways entirely. Things were different here. Things were alive.
The rocks, everything, simple wood and branches roamed the forests as creatures of nightmares, starry skies gave birth to beings of night that growled and grew tall, and such frail forms that were simplistic, laughable, and ultimately powerful roamed the lands as though it were theirs.
Ponies, of course. I’m talking about ponies.
I look out at these strangely coloured creatures, gazing at the way they went about their lives, wondering how such a world developed, how such a thing came to be in the most peculiar of ways. Well, I wondered once. But right now?
Right now I barely gave a shit.
The world had changed, and I barely knew this one, barely remembered the last one, and all I cared about now was finding out what the fuck I was supposed to be doing. Fuck…such a strange word. Do I use it? Here they say ‘buck’…every word a play on puns and names of things jests in their own but ironically…the jest is lost on them. Like the universe makes them name things and alter things and change things to place them into a humorous context that is entirely lost on its inhabitants.
What gods had so much free time on their hands they felt they could fuck about like that? Or maybe it’s time on their ‘hooves’…fuck it.
My mind was a strange thing, and often not my own. I would stand and stare, thinking the strangest of things, wandering about the absurdity of it all, only to realise what I was thinking, and come to a second realisation that I really didn’t give a crap.
But if I didn’t care, then why did my brain ask such nonsense?
Once again, I found myself trying to search for a fuck I couldn’t give. A fuck I had seemingly wanted to give not thirty seconds before when the thoughts popped into my head.
Breathing in the stale air of the dusty surroundings, I focused my mind on more important tasks. There had to be something to do. I headed in search of Ka.
He wasn’t hard to find, egotistical brooding bastard that he was. Oh I had respect for him, but that respect only went into his power. As a person he was a complete shithead. I approached the stallion who had sat himself on what resembled a throne of rock, obviously carved by himself. Of course he’d make himself out to be like a king on a throne, just as he’d changed his form.
Ka was a demon.
They all might as well be.
We weren’t ponies. None of us were, and none of us were even supposed to be here. We were in pony guise because that’s what this world did to us, and some of us with the power to change, chose to stay in those forms for security reasons. But others took it too far.
Ka was one of them. We were monkeys originally, from the ancient spiritual plains of Sea Dragons, Pirates, Ootu Mystics, Ice Raiders, Chim Foo, and Mek Tek’s. In our world we were of the line and dynasty of the great Monkey King.
I can’t remember much of what happened, I can’t place what went on and even if I could, I probably couldn’t care to tell you. But suffice to say a portal was opened by Ka to escape, a portal to another dimension and instead of bothering with any form of coordinates, he just picked at random. And this was where we ended up, this prissy pinkie, childish land full of kindness, magic, and monsters that barely fit into its own world.
But this place had power.
This place had magic. Magic was the life blood of this land and every inch of it hummed and shone through everything else. It vibrated through molecules and atoms and changed and warped its world around it. And it had warped us.
The moment we came here, our bodies had changed into the most sentient and dominant form in this land.
Ponies. Though some of us were changelings (not the changelings I’ve heard about in this world, I mean someone with the power to change his/her form), sadly not I, but Ka was. So would he settle for the normal Unicorn form he got? Of course not. He would search for the single most powerful form he could find, and that’s what he did. And would he just settle on the most powerful form? Oh no…Ka had to have his fancies. He had to become dark, shadow style and filled with redness and evilness and the embodiment of every cliché imaginable.
The result laid before me in all is eye-rolling glory. A red and black Alicorn. His bat like wings stretched out majestically and seemed to be touched by a level of darkness that sight could not penetrate; his body was muscular but lean enough to be fast as well as strong. The red stripes over his form took on the guise of glowing red scratches through the very fabric of light itself, like a threat from the darkness. His eyes however, they were simply blue. Blue but harbouring a dark animalistic slit instead of the usual round pupil.
He looked extremely dark, powerful and foreboding. But I, as well as anyone that truly knew him, understood it was all a visage. This wasn’t his form; he just enjoyed looking the part. Personally I feel he should take a few notes on subtlety and consider a different form, but he was never the greatest of thinkers. Which in itself was ironic. One of his main powers and capabilities was seduction and manipulation, though I wasn’t fool enough to think it was his charisma that drew his enemies to his side.
It was his magic.
Dramatic and eye-rolling as he may be, and sometimes thick as shit…he was powerful.
He was the single most powerful being I have ever known, and that is what earned my respect.
As I approached his ‘throne’ I smirked at him.
“Ah, Shadow.” He greeted. Shadow was the name he had given me. I knew I’d had a different one once, but I couldn’t remember it. I’d tried a few times, but it hurt so I’d given up.
“Hello your black and red-ness.” I jested. “Please tell me you have something for me to do. I believe I might just torture Zero some more if I don’t find something immediately, and I’m not sure the poor thing could take much more today.”
The thought of the imprisoned batpony formed mare in the dungeon had my sheath twitching slightly as a smirk ran across my features. I won’t lie in my happy desire to sexualise her, but I always got the most erotic kick out of brainwashing the pathetic girl. I was never one for physical torture, unless it was the sexual kind. I much happily preferred the mental torture that came with clever manipulations. Although, I’d lost patience and with frustration due to boredom I’d had my way with her previously today and I wasn’t sure dear old Zero would be able to handle a second round, which wouldn’t be fun at all. Toys weren’t the same after they were broken.
Ka turned to me and glared. “Oh I’m sure there are many things you could be doing.” He got up and approached. I couldn’t help but look up at his forehead. Where a long horn had once sprouted proudly from his head, now simply sat a broken jagged keratin stump; it was a constant reminder of his failure.
Ka was powerful, and one of his greatest abilities was possession and a spell that could kill anyone. Though such spells required an anchor, in any form. And that horn had been the one thing he couldn’t change or alter. When it broke, Ka had lost his ability to possess or kill, lowering his powers considerably.
“You know I have studied all of the tomes we have collected. There is no way to simply fix that.” I informed him with a shrug.
“You will find a way.” He said darkly, his words making me sigh.
“Allow me to explain this to you.” I began, trying for simply terms. “Horns are infused with magic, magic can affect them but not easily, and healing magic requires an intimate knowledge of what it is you are healing. None of us know how horns work, or how much power it would take to affect one. None of us can do the spell, least of all myself.” I extended my wings and brushed the front of my head lazily. “No horn, remember.”
Ka growled softly, a low rumble that was not the sound any pony should be capable of making.
“Find a way.” He said darkly as he turned around and sat back on his throne.
I sighed and shook my head. “Fine.” I said, turning away and heading once again for the library.
The place we lived in (huh, lived, ‘cuz that’s totally what I’d call it) was a large run down tower complex in the Everfree Forest. There were many keeps and castles in this place, remnants of an ancient city that had apparently once been ruled by the Princesses a thousand years ago. That told me there was like to be a castle somewhere, but I hadn’t yet found it. The place was large but crumbling. We had no shelter from the rain, even the dungeons got soaked on bad days, and we had little light from the sun. What we did have, was a library, and a rather extensive one at that. I would like to say I spent most my time there, researching and learning as I rather enjoyed doing. But sadly the majority of the tomes were crumbling to dust, so I had to be careful. Besides, as much as I valued knowledge, most of the goody-two-shoes that I faced liked to just pull out a blade, so I spent the majority of my time training in my sword skills.
As I approached the library, I heard a sound beside me, and hooves gently pressed at my back. I turned and my eyes fell upon red eyes that looked up at me with a smile that simply turned my stomach. Her pink coated hooves ran over my side, and slipped slowly underneath me. The first attentive touches of Anna’s hooves at my sheath had me already swelling slightly. But physical reaction did not mean much in the ways of desire. Did I desire her? No. Did I enjoy sex? Rather definitely. Did I care where I got it? Not particularly.
“What are you doing?” I asked with a grunt.
“Pleasing my stallion…” She said, her hooves stroking along my cock as it slipped from its sheath.
“Pleasing me? As if you could.” I scoffed, meaning every word. Anna Goodshimmer was a hole to fuck at the best of times, and an annoyance the rest of the time, and downright vile at the worst of times.
She stiffened at my words and looked down. “But…I’m sure I could please you...let me try.” Her muzzle went underneath me and a soft warm mouth engulfed my equine shafts head. I felt the sensitive flesh tense and twitch at her attention.
I let out a pleased nicker, it was pleasurable and I would never deny that. But Zero was better, besides…there was a certain level of sadism I required most times. But if she was so insistent of pleasing me, I could hardly deny her the usual ride.
She always knew what would happen, yet I could never fathom how she ever failed to get it through that thick skull of hers that it wouldn’t change. She’d pounce on me, and I’d beat and fuck her. She’d suck me, and I’d rape her throat. She’d try seducing me, and all I would ever give her in return was coldness and violence. Dumb bitch just never learned. It wasn’t that she liked the treatment; it was truly that she believed the next time would be different. I grabbed her side, mounted her mouth properly and suddenly drove in hard. She choked under me and struggled As I smirked, forcing my shaft down her throat, ramming in and out, choking and gagging her eagerly, loving the way she squirmed. I kept thrusting, forcing my balls to slap her chin every time, thanking the Equestrian gods for making nudity the norm in this universe, it certainly made moments like this easy.
The moment my cock flared I drove in hard and erupted down her throat, forcing her to drink my stallion seed before pulling out with a smirk.
“Thanks for that. I was a bit pent up.” I shoved her away, causing her to fall over to the ground, coughing and spluttering, seed drooling down her lips. I chuckled, loving the sight of her nice and used before I walked off, ignoring her pleas for me to come back, asking if she’d done well. A part of me wondered how any external viewers might see what just happened. A random show? A single action that barely mattered and was just thrown aside? Well you’re reading this. What do you think? Should I care?
Should I give a shit about some obsessed mare that offered herself so freely? If that’s how you think then you might as well close this story. Because I don’t care. She was a hole, why did she have to be anything more.
The night before had rained and like usual the first part of the library was soaked whilst only the back remained intact. I headed to the larger tomes and pulled out the shelves of books, sighing to myself. I had been through each of them. There were some basic histories, a diary or two and many a combat companion as well as tactical stratagems. Their contents pretty much confirmed that the area of the city we’d established ourselves in had been some kind of military barracks. But I hadn’t yet found any weapons, which was a shame. Thankfully though, I was able to use my own. I’d managed to bring my preferred weapon to this dimension, and that would have been fantastic, except ponies were not usually meant to wield swords. I tried several times and failed to even grasp it decently in my hooves, so I’d done some research. Thankfully there were a few books; it seemed swordplay for ponies was done in the mouth, using the ball at the end of the pommel for advanced movements. I thought this might hurt, but after a few tries I quickly realised that pony teeth were incredibly strong, I wondered if it was even possible to break them. I’d cut myself and given myself a few new scars in my attempts to gain this skill, but it quickly developed and it wasn’t long before I was as adept with a blade as I’d ever been. Sometimes I think I might even be better in this form than any of my others. I could use my tongue to turn the pommel to face the blade to almost any direction, movements of my head allowed it to arc and swish and glide through the air in intricate circular movements. It was like tai chi with a blade. I liked it. I could move fast and strong, momentum being my force and the faster I moved, the more deadly it was. So I focused on speed. I’d been training ever since I came here, and I had yet to be bested by anyone.
Ka had asked me to keep trying, but I’d read these books a hundred times and none of them showed anything new in the tomes around me. There were a few magic books, beginner manuals for unicorn combat, and it did give way to some information on healing spells. But healing spells were hard. To heal something you had to understand how it worked, how it formed and how things knit together. I wasn’t very good at biology and I knew jack shit about horns. And no one else among our cohorts could do it either. I looked up and climbed a ladder to the higher shelves. There was a section I hadn’t yet explored, but considering that it was always rain sodden, I didn’t expect to find anything that was legible, let alone helpful. I glanced over the dripping books and sighed, finding nothing at all that looked in decent condition, or even remotely promising. I was about to give up before something caught my eye, it was something behind one of the books, slightly sticking out. Pulling out the book it fell apart sloppily. It had me grumbling from how disgusting it was.
Looking behind the book and reached out and pulled out a piece of paper. It had been spared some of the rain by the books surrounding it. It was wet, but not yet falling apart. I opened it up and my eyes widened. It was a map.
I got a little curious and went down the ladder again to the table. Unfurling the map I scanned over it. It seemed to be a very old map of what this land had once been. The title at the top read ‘Tabvla Equêstria II’. Scanning over it, I realised just how big this forest was. In the time of this map the forest wasn’t here at all, it was in the east and bordering the city. This told me that after whatever had ruined this city had happened, the forest had crept up and engulfed it. And considering how vast the city was, and how vast the forest looked on the map, it was safe to assume that the Everfree forest stretched on for a VERY long way.
A neat thing the map did offer though was a map of the city.
I looked through the streets and found out that to the west, nearer Ponyville, was the castle that the princesses were once in. This place only had basic healing, and combat tomes with some minor history. I was certain that any magical texts that could give me an answer to Ka’s problem would likely be in the palace library, rather than that of some lowly barracks. Looks like I had some hiking to do. I grabbed some supplies and headed for the gate.
I didn’t often like to venture outside. It was dark and dangerous in those woods. But I had done some recon before. I liked to look and examine the different creatures around, figuring how best to use them if possible, or defeat them if needed.
A few always caught my eye in terms of interest.
Timberwolves were magically enhanced spiritual creatures made of wood and rocks. Magic was certainly an interesting thing. I had no idea how they were made or what they could do. Only that they were vicious when roused. I kept my ears out as I clopped my way through the underbrush to a clearing before looking up at the open sky. I extended my wings and launched. I used to be a monkey. I used to be a being of a spiritual ancient realm and a line of the monkey king and their guardians…I didn’t like the pastel colours of this place, I didn’t like its smell, and I didn’t like how some things were alive when they weren’t supposed to be.
But there was one thing I did like.
One thing that constantly helped me to forget my troubles. Something that helped me to feel free.
Flying.
The feel of the wind as it brushed through my feathers always sent shivers through me. My eyes closed and colours swirled in my mind as I arced and moved. The colours were wind patterns. Signals sent from the wings to the brain, transferred so distinctly they were almost visual. This was the power of being a Pegasus. I could beat my wings and create a tornado, fly a direction and create wind paths that would blow a gust. I could dissipate clouds or form them together, make them heavy to rain or command them to strike lightning with a single instinctive touch. Pegasus weather power fascinated me. I didn’t know much of it, or how to do a lot of it yet, but I wanted to learn.
It seemed a lot of the skills were not ones that were easily obtainable, a lot of the magic of a Pegasus had to be taught and learned and trained in. Same as unicorn magic or earth pony magic…earth ponies. This was a strange subject for me. I had monitored the forms of each version of pony and discovered a few differences in makeup and biology. Pegasus were weak it seemed. Our bones were slightly hollowed and we were designed for flight, whilst still retaining a pony form. Earth Ponies, whilst having non actual magic were strong. Their bones were dense and their muscles far better formed, making them the heaviest and the physically strongest of the three races. Unicorns seemed to be in the middle. Their bone density was the same as Pegasus, but their bones were holly, making them stronger. But they weren’t nearly as physically strong as earth ponies, but they of course had the advantage of magic. But despite these differences, I had also noticed that it was only slight. The majority of earth ponies were only SLIGHTLY stronger. The majority of Pegasus, only SLIGHTLY weaker and lighter. The majority of Unicorns only SLIGHTLY in between. They were differences enough to be evident, but not enough to cause societal issues.
Pony society was incredibly strange. There were differences and segregation, but not based on prejudice, it was based on capability. Those that had an affinity for certain things, were instantly places in those certain areas, whilst everyone (or ‘everypony’ as they say) of their type was capable of doing other things. Farm work for earth ponies was expected and understood, sky work for Pegasus was expected and understood, and each of their races were capable of doing not only their talents, but also their race duties, and without a single inch of distrust or jealousy between them. I do certainly believe that we stumbled into a world based on rationality, and common sense.
Which I probably don’t have to tell you, is in itself bloody shocking. Sorry for my mind rambling. Flight does that.
The fresh air as it blew through my feathers always let my mind wander, and when my mind wandered, it always went to questions, and answers, and politics. I was so fascinated all the time with everything around me...but simultaneously. I didn’t give a shit.
Though I believe I’ve already explained this a few times. My duality of desire that constantly raged within me and distracted me and not to mention infuriated me to no end.
The forest below me flew by with streaks of green. I tried to pay attention and follow the map I had memorised in my head. I should be about a mile from the castle, so I decided to speed up to cut off the amount of time I spent on the journey.
I started to descend, landing sure-footedly on a cliff area looking over the castle. It was far grander than the place they were staying right now, and were it not for its proximity to Ponyville, I might have informed the others about it as a place to go live. But personally, I’d rather not be right under the nose of those pastel ponies. They could be bothersome. Travelling down the side of the cliff I approached the stone ruins, eyeing towers and windows that used to have stained glass windows in them, and a few windows that were even intact. I entered the large entrance and looked around. I could easily imagine this place being grand when it was in its prime. But for now, it was old, stale and dusty. The scent of decay hung heavily in the air and moth eaten tapestries hung down along the walls. Though I was surprised to find a few in decent conditions, they looked like they might even have been repaired. I wouldn’t be surprised if that had been done by one of those from Ponyville. Their kindness was always gag worthy to me. Sure one or two of them had a mean streak, but it was like their mean streaks were the equivalent of playground bullies. It was quite pathetic.
I travelled through a few of the rooms, finding a dining room, a throne room, and finally, I stumbled into the library. My eyes widened as the tomes stretched out on the shelves, bringing a grin to my face as I gazed over them.
They were in good condition, almost all of them readable.
I began looking over the tome titles and humming to myself when a slight change in the air alerted my instincts that I might not be alone in the room anymore.
I showed no sign of noticing, my humming barely missing a beat as I looked over the tomes, keenly aware of movement behind me. The moment it got close I ducked rapidly. The blade struck overhead into bookcase. I looked up, it was a broad headed axe, and it was quite firmly wedged where my neck had once been. I couldn’t help but chuckle.
“I told you he’d dodge.” A feminine voice said behind me. Turning to face my opponents I smiled at the sight of my two old friends.
Megan Goldtail and Paige Flintwish.
Megan was an earth pony. Well, that was her form anyway, but I’ve explained it all before. She had no horn and no wings, she wasn’t magical in any fashion, but she was a really good fighter.
“Ah and how are you both today? Having a nice stroll?” I asked them curtly, grinning softly at both of them. “Interesting that you’d just attack me by the way, not usually your style.” I said, grabbing the handle of the axe in my teeth and flinging my head violently. The axe tore from the wall and flew right at them, smashing into a bookcase behind the two of them, missing them by inches and imbedding in the wall. I did it on purpose of course; it’d be no fun if I just killed them.
Paige’s eyes were wide. A look I couldn’t help but adore.
She was once a blue Pegasus, but situations in the past had granted her extreme power, she’d been given something that in our own world, would have allowed her to become what was known as a Dynasty Immortal. A great and sacred line of ancient power granted to very few who were worthy. But in this world it had taken a different form. She had become an Alicorn.
She was the only one among us who had achieved this state through more than simple shape shifting, she had earned it, her coat had turned white, and she stood more regal than ever. But she was still Paige.
My dear sweet Paige that was utterly hopeless without her friends. From what I had seen, she was utterly hopeless with her magic, and no matter how strong she became, I knew she would never be a threat. Indeed, all she was doing right now was staring at me. The stupid girl had never really had the spine to stop me. Megan however…she was a different story.
She had once been considered one of the kindest and gentlest people (or ponies) I’d ever known, until I joined Ka of course. Now she couldn’t stand the sight of me.
“What can I do you for?” I asked them both, smiling as I looked between them, letting my eyes wander over Paige. I had no inclinations towards her, but I let my eyes relax and become lidded, a light playful and predatory smirk touching my lips as I gave her a look that suggested dark and erotic things.
She reacted just as I wanted her too; she shivered, and looked away in fear and a light chuckle escaping my lips before I could stop it. Megan however, simply glared.
“We’ve been keeping an eye on this place, and an eye on you. You should leave.” She said sternly, her eyes narrowing.
“Aww, is that really anyway to talk to your friend? What did I ever do to-” I didn’t get to finish my sentence as suddenly I was slammed against the bookcase, Megan’s hoof crushing at my throat as she glared. “Get. Out.” Her voice was a portent of dancer, and for an instant, I admit…I was actually scared.
But only for an instant.
My lower hoof snaked around hers and struck the back of her knee, my right for hoof came up under hers, arching her hoof out of the way and grasping her elbow. I twisted. Her body spun and suddenly she was off balance, her hoof behind her back and pain lancing up her arm.
“I wouldn’t try that again Megan.” I said darkly before letting her fall to the ground. Megan was a great fighter; in a real bout she had a good chance of besting me. I admit to not really knowing who’d really win, which was why it was best to get a single move off, and claim superiority, make her second guess herself. It was a good way to maintain the upper hoof.
“I know what you’re after.” Megan said fiercely as she pulled herself to her hooves.
“Wonderful.” I exclaimed. “Then you can tell me where to find it. I’d rather not just have to go through all these dusty books, it can get quite tedious.” I smiled. Megan spat at the ground in front of me.
“We’re not helping you, but we will stop you.” She lunged. Her hooves were fast, but I was just as fast as she was. I moved and arched, ducked and slid around her, making sure to deflect every blow rather than simply attempting to block. She was an earth pony, her bones and muscles were stronger than mine, a full force buck from her could snap me, and so I had to use her strength against her. But I was lighter, suppler, and faster.
I ducked under a blow and struck her ribs on her right side, Moved under another and lashed out with my lower hoof, striking the same rib again. She turned and arched a hoof around, I didn’t duck in time and it connected. My head snapped back harshly and I fell a short way away from her, grunting as I tasted blood in my mouth.
“Now it’s a party.” I grunted and smirked.
Suddenly she was over me, her hooves rearing up, ready to stamp down before my lower right hoof struck up hard on the same rib as before, a satisfying crack coined the air and a loud gasp sounded from the mare. I kicked up with both my lower hooves, making sure one of my hooves was on her broken rib, sending her back with a yell of pain, causing her to land with a dull thud.
I pulled myself to my hooves and wiped my mouth of blood, a smirk adorning my muzzle. I charged at Megan then, I was over her, rearing up like she had me, and I lashed down with my hooves. I wanted to feel her break, to watch her blood flow, to see her scream out in a last gasping breath. I was half hard just fucking thinking about it! Suddenly I was thrown back by an unseen force, I struck a bookcase with suck force it exploded in a shower of smoke and wood, my back lanced pain through my body and I groaned, coughing from the smoke around me. I looked up, and as the smoke cleared my eyes fell upon Paige, a dark look in her eyes, a single tear down her cheek and her horn glowing.
“Get away from her.” She said in a shaky but resolute voice.
“Ouch.” I grunted out, shaking myself. “Well, is it you we need? That Lightcore power of yours? Can you heal something like a horn? Or are you as clueless as the rest of us.” I grunted, walking out of the rubble, a slight limp in my step. I must have a lot of bruises, but thankfully I don’t think anything was actually broken.
She shook her head. “A horn is magical. You can’t heal it from the outside easily.” She said firmly.
“But what about from the inside?” I asked as an idea came to me. Her eyes widened and I realised I’d touched upon something. “Like a potion?” I asked curiously. “Well that certainly gives me a place to look.”
“I won’t let you fix him.” Her voice a little stronger this time. She really believed she could stop me…it was kinda cute. “Shadow…” She began, her gaze slowly stopping. “Phil…please.”
That’s when I threw it. A stone I’d grasped in my back hooves when she wasn’t paying attention. I flapped my wings and span, using the momentum I loosed the stone and it struck her in the forehead hard. Her head snapped back, a trickle of blood ran down her face and she toppled sideways unconscious.
“Well that was fun.” I smiled, approaching Megan who groaned on the floor, looking up at me.
I grinned down at her darkly, stepping forward and pressing my hoof on her painful side eliciting a pained yelp and groan from the mare.
“Now, you are going to tell me all that you know.” I asked in a calm voice. This was going to be fun.
An hour later I was by one of the evergreen streams, washing blood from my hooves, humming rather merrily to myself. That was a rather bracing session, I so did love torture. I left her alive of course, no point in breaking a toy I could use again in the future. But I’d done enough to get what I wanted, and to make her remember today for a very long time. I sighed happily to myself at that thought. I so did love making an impression. I knew exactly where it was I needed to go. There was a certain occupant of these woods that I needed to visit.
The hut was not hard to find. The billowing smoke was a good indicator of location. I approached and looked through the bushes; the white and black equine in the hut seemed to be stirring a pot of some green liquid. I approached and knocked on the door and put a smile on my face. The door opened.
“Oh, a new face has come to see,
Are you lost or looking for me?” Her voice was whimsical and elegant in her thick accent. She wore golden jewellery and her eyes were a rather beautiful emerald green. I considered maybe taking her for myself; I’d never indulged in a zebra before. But maybe later, for now I had work to do.
“Hello, my name is-” I hesitated before simply smiling. “Phil.”
“Phil? A strange name but I’ve heard stranger still,
Are you perhaps from Ponyville?”
He shook his head. “Oh no, I’m rather new around here. I’m actually looking for some help; it’s something of an emergency.” I said, smiling, scratching the back of my head awkwardly.
“An emergency you say?” Her eyes widened. “Then I shall help in any way.”
I sighed with relief. “I’m really glad you said that. You see my friend’s horn...well it’s been broken off. Entirely.” I said, letting my face form a grimace as her eyes widened in shock.
“A grievous wound for a unicorn to endure,
And not one easily fixed I’m sure.” She said, looking rather worried.
“I heard that because horns are magical, that normal magic doesn’t affect them as easily as it does everything else. That it has to come from the inside, something arcane, like that of Zebra magical potions?” I said, biting my bottom lip.
The zebra eyed me suspiciously. “Not many are aware of this,
The magicks are dangerous and could go amiss.
The arcane route is not lightly tread,
And can sow destruction in its stead.” She said warningly.
“Yeah, but that’s only if it’s done wrong. I heard you were like, a master at this stuff.” I smiled, trying to seem casual.
“Whoever told you speaks too much.” She said firmly, as though almost offended. “But a potion to heal, I know of such.”
“Great.” I said, grinning.
“But first, before I give you what you seek,
I must meet the afflicted of which you speak.” She said, her eyes narrowing slightly as they regarded him.
Well shit.
She had to meet Ka.
And this was going so well.
“Well, shit, looks like that plans out.” I sighed, dropping the pretence, the Zebra’s eyes widening. “Sorry little Zebra, though I admit, I’m kinda relieved. The nice-guy act just stresses me out to keep up.” I smiled and shrugged. “I suppose if you wanna meet Ka, then I don’t really have a choice.” I approached her darkly with a smirk. Her eyes widened.
“I knew your aura was darkly stained,
But I saw a spark, buried and tamed.” She said, backing off. “You are not who you even think to be,
I can aid your struggle if you would let me.” She offered, trying to bargain with him.
“Help me? How could you help me?” I asked, smirking as I approached her.
“You are corrupted and controlled,
I could brew a potion to release their hold.” She said, her voice going a little higher in pitch from fear.
“Oooh, tempting…naaah.” I said before grasping the nearest heaviest thing and striking her hard with it, sending her down to the ground. “So many unconscious mares today and not a single one of them gets a filling.” He muttered to himself with a sigh. “Even if we get that horn fixed I think this day’s been a total waste.” I sighed and heaved the zebra onto my back and headed for the door. The moment I stepped outside something exploded in my face, smoke erupted in the air, I looked around with wide eyes and suddenly there was a flash of light that blinded me and a silhouette in the brightness of a white Alicorn before something struck me hard and the light was engulfed in darkness.
I woke up after a while, it must have really moved on because it was now dark and the stars littered the sky. I looked around, the zebra was gone.
“FUCK!” I shouted in anger. “Oh that’s great, no zebra, and no bitch to fill…” I bucked a part of the huts wall and crashed a hole in it. “I need to make Zero scream or something.” I growled to myself, thinking of the slave in the dungeons back home. I think a good dose of screaming would calm me down. Until then, I had to deal with Ka after failing him. The fucker wouldn’t be pleased. Well, at least I knew what I needed to find. It would take arcane zebra magic to fix the horn, a potion that works from the inside, and I knew that the zebra needed was with the ‘good’ gang.
I always did love a good reason to beat the shit out of them.
At least this gave me one.
Time to hunt.
