"Ugh!" Why is my sister so busy she can't spent time with me?" Sweetie Belle thought about it a lot. It was beggining to give her feelings of anger and sadness.She knew it shouldn't matter: her sister did love her after all, but still she couldn't help but feel hopeless. It wasn't like this was a one time event. No, this happened nearly every weekend.
Glancing around her room a disturbing thought struck her: "I could pull my dresser down on top of me and be squished. Or I could jump out the-no. Sweetie Belle, you can not have these kind of thoughts. There are too many ponies who care!"
The filly climbed into bed had an internal debate for awhile. She didn't know why she wanted to die, or what that would even be called, but she knew it couldn't be good. Maybe she should ask for help-but who would she ask? What if they thought she was crazy? Everypony would treat her differantly. She shuddered at the thought.
Eventually, though, Sweetie Belle decided to wait. They were covering the cycle of life, ranging from birth to death. They had already covered birth (not with much detail though. That came when they were older.) and infancy to when you get really old, like Granny Smith. Tommorow they were covering death. Maybe that would clear things up for her. Eventually she fell asleep.
At school the next morning, before class began, she and Applebloom were talking about the upcoming lesson. (Scootaloo was sick)
"I don't really like this topic, with Granny Smith being so old and such," Applebloom commented
"Whatever happens happens. I promise I'll always be there for you," Sweetie Belle replied.
"Pinkie Promise?"
"Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."
Satisfied, Applebloom nodded, "Thanks. It means a lot to me."
"Alright my little ponies!" The pair looked up to see Cherrilee speaking, "Take your seats. I know this may be an uncomfterable topic for some of you, but it is important that we all understand it," she waited for everyone to get seated.
"There are several types of death. The first type is natural death. Diseases, such as Inzupino can be fatal. For those of you who don't know, fatal is another word for deadly. I'll add that to this weeks vocabulary. Anyways, certain less deadly diseases can kill you aswell, if you don't get the appropriate medicines in time. Another type of natural death you might know of is 'old age'". Applebloom fidjited in her seat a little bit. "The truth is old age doesn't actually kill you," she waited for the confused murmers to die down, "Do you remember how we discussed the cells in our body keep multiplying? Well, eventually those cells stop multiplying. Your body just kind of shuts down because as you loose cells, there are no more to take your place. Other complications can kill you aswell, such as heart attacks."
"The second type is homocide. I'm not going to go much into it at school, because its not really appropriate, but basically its when some kind of creature.... or somepony kills you. The third is suicide. Suicide means you kill yourself." The class gasped. The majority of them looked like they saw a ghost, but Sweetie Belle was getting interested now. "I'm not the best with this subject," the teacher continued, "So Nurse Paijo will be speaking to you on this subject."
A moment later a grey earth pony with a orange mane and a red cross with green sparkles around it for a cutie mark stepped in and began talking, "Hello, I'm sure some of you know my sister Nurse Redheart at the ponyville hospital. I'm nurse Paijo and I recently started working at said hospital to help ponies through depression. Depression is an illness, and should any of you ever go though it, I want you to know to never be afraid to ask for help. But I'm getting ahead of myself. "
"Depression is when you are sad all the time for no reason. Everypony has a bad day sometimes, but depression is like having a bad week, or a bad month, or even a bad year. Instead of having the occasional bad day in a string of good or just okay days, a depressed pony may only have an okay day once in awhile, and bad days the rest of the time."
"Sometime ponies have a reason to be depressed. They may be going through tough times, or they may just be unhappy simply because. Its important to understand that having no particular reason does NOT make their depression any less real. After awhile depression gets to you. You may loose interest in things you used to love. You may feel like life is stupid. Sometimes, it makes you suicidal, meaning you just want to die."
"If you know someone who is depressed or even suicidal, the absolute WORST thing you can do is tell them to just cheer up, because they can't. Thats like telling a sick pony to just get better. Sure they want to, but it just doesn't work like that.You should also never tell them that other ponies have it worse then them. Telling them that may make them feel even worse about themselves. Lastly, never ever ever say a pony is just looking out for attention. When doctors ask ponies why they attempted suicide, more than 98% had good reasons."
She let this sink in for awhile. Most of the ponies in the room looked a bit uncomfterable. Finaly, Sweetie Belle broke the silence asking, "What happens when you die?" Nurse Paijo thought for a moment; "Well, nopony really knows. Many ponies believe you go to heaven, others believe you just... cease to exist. What we know to be true is that when you die it hurts many ponies, and even when they get used to it, the memory of you still makes them a little sad."
With that, she nodded to Cherilee and trotted out the door. The teacher adressed the class. "I know thats a lot to take in. You can go home now if you'd like, but its probably best for you all to stay and play outside. Your call." She shrugged. Sweetie Belle opted to leave.
Mother and Father where away again for like a year, so she went to Carusel Butique where she was staying with Rarity. Rarity was out at lunch. She sighed and though about everything. Nurse Paijo was right about one thing: she rarely ever had good days anymore. Actually, she thought, it seems like I'm always in pain. I'm never happy. Why bither with life anynore? Glancing at her window, she opened it, stepped back, then ran and threw herself out the window. Right before she landed, she had one thought: "What have I done?"
