Swooty Bell Adventures Part 2: The Legend of Twix Bar

by Protopony350

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, King Sombra, Random, Adventure, Crossover, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Tirek, Princess Luna, Trixie
Length: 3080

The history of The Great and Amazing Twix Bar from birth to the present.

The Great and Amazing Twix Bar has lived in Equestria for thousands of years. Along the way she would help in the defense of the planet several times. She would make great friends and powerful enemies. She would overcome her severe alcoholism!

Spelling and grammar mistakes are intentional, for this is the universe of Swooty Bell!

Published 2014-07-05 03:40:04 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-15 15:31:57 UTC

Part 1. The Rise of Twix Bar.

Twix Bar was a blue mare who was also really proud of the things she could do and also was really good so she should be proud but some stupid mean ponies told her not to be proud of it so she tries not to be proud of it but she still is a little but not a lot so our story begins.

Twix bar was born on a tuesday (Lol remember just like Pinkie Pie oh man I mean Pinker Play yeah that's what I call her) and was also an orphan because her dad tripped on her and fell horn first into her moms face so yeah they got pretty died and so she left home sad.

One day Twix Bar who was now a little bit more grown up was attacked by a monster known as "OH NO IT'S THAT MONSTER". Twix used her unitard magic and kilt the monster real good. A PAIR OF RED EYES WATCHED HER oh sorry capslock was on.

Twix Bar was nearly dead from hungry when a large horse approached her.

"You art thou goodeth at thy magic so am I really goodeth at my magic I wish to train you in thy magic" said the gray horse.

"The Great and AMAZING Twix bar needs no help from you" she said but after she said that she fell into the mud and we all laughed. "I'm more humble now I want you to train me"

And thus Twix Bar become the apprentice of the great King Momba who was an alicorn but with bat wings who also loved crystals.

So Twix was taught many great and powerful trix by King Momba. One day he told her that she was ready to show her new great and powerful power to the throne princess Princess Wayback. She was called Princess Wayback because she lived a long time ago so they named her that when she was born.

"My dear, what new and exiting magic do you bring before me" asked the awesome pink princess who was like double Celestia and Luna combined she was that cool.

"The GREAT and AMAZING Twix bar brings you the magic of using your horn to use magic!" Twix Bar used her horn to laser zap a bird and it exploded. They all had a party to celebrate.

He was a loner. He moved from town to town helping those in need, yet he always left without a word. He was Stormfeather. He was a hero.

One day Stormfeather made his way to the city of Cantloot. He saw a beautiful lady being attacked so he swooped in and saved her. His cold heart melted and they fell in love.

Years passed and they got married and then had children. He was finally happy.

One day he decided to offer his services to Princess wayback. He was a skilled swordsman you see.

he flew to the throne room.

He was killed on sight.

Twix Bar had practiced her new magic on the poor bird. He left behind his loving wife and 5 children.

Twix Bar was granted a royal room at the royal castle and was treated royally because she was royal friends with royal Princess Throwback. She still trained under Momba, but she now served as royal mageaner. She mageged the other mages to make sure they knew how to mage correctly.

"I AM HERE AND NOW I WANT YOUR CASTLE!" Screamed a deep voice. Twix bar looked out of the window of the Great Tower and saw the monster.

Tartarus Ricks had come.

To Be Continued.

Part 2 - Absolutely not sponsored by Kellogg's

With a snap crackle and a pop the huge centaur slowly walked into the sight of the pony that was standing in the tower watching.

"I AM HERE AND I AM GOING TO BE MAD IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME THE KINGDOM!" He said handsomely. "ALSO I AM A BIG MONSTER AND I NEED A BIIIIG BREAKFAST!" He sure was hungry!

Alarms sounded and Pegasi scrambled at the sight of the beast. The great tower was going to be defended because it was a really really nice tower and have you seen the price of towers recently? It's a wonder that we could even afford the first one let alone a replacement so he better not knock it down. Man that would be a headache. And who gets to clean that up? It's not going to be me I tell you that right now!

Twix Bar ran as fast as her horse legs could take her to the throne room. "Princess Wayback we need to fight the monster and find him a suitable meal for his large and sexy body!" Twix Bar said nearly out of breath. Not from running but because she was jamming on her sax before the attack. Princess Other was not amused. Not because of the attack, but because she had been jamming on her sax before the attack. They left the throne room and headed to the battleground.

The Pegasi who had came to the battle had been all battled out. "Oh no now how will we find a food that will satisfy his amazing biceps?" Complained Twix Bar as she thought of a new plan.

The stage was set for the worlds biggest bowl of Rice Krispies. "When he eats all of these delicious Rice Krispies his mood is sure to change for the better!" Said Princess Wayback who could hardly hold back from eating the decadent and affordable treat herself.

Tartarus Ricks saw the bowl of popping goodness and ate the entire thing and was full.

"YOU IDIOTS! BY FEEDING ME THIS NUTRITIOUS BREAKFAST FULL OF VITAMINS AND MINERALS I WILL HAVE THE STRENGTH TO DESTROY THE ENTIRE KINGDOM!" Said the extremely satisfied and dashingly suave hunk of a centaur.

Twix Bar prepared to do battle with the giant who was now overpowered with the nutrients of Rice Krispies available at most grocery stores.

It was at this moment that Tartarus Ricks noticed the beauty of Twix Bar. Having ate a bowl of Rice Krispies every day for 20 years she had maintained a youthful complexion and the body of a good body.

"Maybe I have been hasty today my good mare. Maybe we can work this out over a bowl of Kellogg's Rice Krispies?"

Tartarus and Twix decided the only way they could negotiate was if they has a fun filled day at the amusement park.

They debated foreign policy in the bumper cars also everyone else on the ride died because Tartarus is like 100 feet tall or some crap like that. They drew up treaties on the roller coaster but same drill he killed everyone. They came to an agreement in the comically oversized photobooth. Twix Bar opened her inventory and added the picture they took to her locket.

"So it is settled. I will stop killing all of the ponies and you marry me" He said with a grin and smile.

"What no I can't marry you I am in love with someone else" she opened the locket and looked at the picture of her and the amazing Tartarus Ricks together all of those minutes ago. "You will never live up to him I'm sorry but no". She left him broken hearted and angry.

Tartarus Ricks attacked again and oh man Twix will never get to finish her jam session will she? Well this time her and Wayback decided to head to the mysterious Neverever Forest to find a way to stop the monster.

So they flew to the forest and Twix Bar was running because she can't fly. They saw some neat things like a glowing tree called the "Save the day and defeat the bad guy tree" tree and they decided not to touch it. Along the way they saw a huge hole in the ground and decided they could knock over Tartarus into it and maybe he'd break his neck or something.

The plan was set. They would place a large bowl of intoxicatingly irresistible Kellogg's Rice Krispies at the edge of the hole.

Now they just had to wait for him to smell it but Twix Bar decided to go find him and make him find the food that he oh so wanted in his stomach.

To be continued

Part 3 - Part of a Balanced Breakfast

Part 3 - Part of a Balanced Breakfast

Twix bar ran as fast as her unitard hooves could run her unitard hooves could run. "TARTARUS RICKS FALLOW ME I LOVE YOU FOREVER" she yelled with a lie.

"If you are being serious right now come give me a smooch" he said with a grinning grin.

Twix Bar looked at her locket "NO I'M SORRY I CAN'T BETRAY MY ONE TRUE LOVE" She shot at him with her light bullets.

The city of Cantloot was in ruins as the Pony continued to do battle with her sexy foe.

"Imagine what we could accomplish together Twix Bar. We could rule all of Eqerstierstia. Our children would be giant magic pony monsters." He said convincingly.

"I'm Sorry Tartarus Ricks But I Can't You Are Sexy And Full Of Rice Krispies But I Just Can't" she said by capitalizing every word.

At this moment his stomach began to growl. "I'M HUNGRY BLARGHABLARGH" Twix bar got an idea also Tartarus is the one who said that.

"Hey big guy follow me and you will find food for your appetite" she said as she began running to the Neverever Forest. He followed.

Far away in a distant land in the neverever forest Princess Wayback was waiting for word from Twix Bar and she got word because she saw her running "PREPARE THE TRAP" she yelled but it was already.

"I'VE COME FOR CEREAL" He told them but they knew what he wanted.

Tartarus ran to the giant bowl of Rice Krispies and as soon as he finished them Twix Bar and Princess Wayback both kicked him but with magic. He fell into the hole.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I'LL BE BACK BUT IT'LL PROBABLY TAKE AROUND 5000 YEARS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" Tartarus was defeated for now.

"MY PEOPLE..........VICTORY IS OURS!" Proclaimed Princess Wayback.

Twix Bar looked into the deep prison they had imprisoned the prisoner. "So long Tartarus Ricks, if only I wasn't already in love with Tartarus Ricks maybe we could have worked out" She took one last look at the prison of Tartarus, and was gone.

"Yo yo yo my little pony I got a tight gift for ya dawg” Said the elegant Princess Wayback. “For you’re sick service to the throne I be all like giving you the gift of the Alicorn lifespan but I ain't makin you an alicorn tho because that not be how I roll”.

Twix Bar leveled up and was given the long lifespan of an Alicorn.

“Now my dear friend, I must ask you for a favor. Eqwoostria must be expanded because we have so many ponies and those Zebras decided to move in. Those Stupid Stripers! Anyway I need you to venture forth and find new lands for us to invade and settle in. Have a good few hundred years” asked and ordered Princess Wayback.

Twix Bar was off on a journey that would test her power and challenge her courage.

To be continued

Part 4 - Crunchy Goodness!

So Twix Bar did all that stuff and it took her hundreds of years and a lot of dead Griffons but her job was done. I had the ancient scrolls that detailed her adventure but I spilled Coffee on it stupid me lol I'm so clumsy.

So Twix Bar returned to Cantloot and found everyone really really sad. "Hey, what up with the tears" Asked Twix Bar Flyly.

"Princess Wayback....she's been MURDERED!" Oh man I hope you didn't have a mouth full of water because now it's all over your computer screen. Anyway Twix Bar was sad but was also wondering who could have killed such a powerful Horn and Wing Horse. She must investigate!

So it turns out that it happened like 10 years ago but that one horse had a mental condition so he kept forgetting she died and got sad about it every day. Because of this someone else had to oh man I'm sorry I mean SomePONY else had to take over rulership of Cantloot and Engbestria. And who was it but none other than TWO horses! They sent a Roadrunner high speed Internet E-mail to Twix Bar and asked her to come back to the throne room.

"Twix Bar, I am Princess Sun. I have heard of your exploits and tho I wish you had not killed the entire Griffon race I am glad you are back" Said Princess Sun obviously I mean come on she introduced herself and everything.

Twix Bar noticed a large cardboard box with a "KEEP OUT" Sign on it. "Yo Princess, what's with the box" Asked Twix.

"Oh that's just the box my shy and introverted sister lives in who is also quirky and loves anime and video games and whatever else you decide she likes because she gets so little screentime" Answered Princess Sun.

Well Twix Bar went into the box and met Princess Other and they became best friends because they're both dweebs and they formed a secret club called the "No Any Other Princesses Allowed" Club and it was all happy and fun but Twix remembered something. "So hey any idea what happened to Princess Wayback?" she asked inquisitively.

"Oh her? It was the dastardly evil Crystal King!" She answered <Who is that?) she asked? "He is an evil bat winged Alicorny who what does rule the Diamond District.

So they decided to head on over and ask him why he do that mean thing

Princess Other and Twix Bar showed up at the Diamond District. All of the horses looked really sad and gasy.

"Hey you" Said Twix Bar to a horse but the horse got startled and exploded. Oh and the explosion made the evil cloaked king fly down and laser zap at them. They returned fire with mortars.

The battle raged on until all the other horses died. Twix Bar glared at the evil king.

"Ah, my old friend Twix Bar. It has been a long time!"  He said, which was kinda weird because they had been battling for hours and every few minutes Twix Bar yelled "I AM TWIX BAR" so i have no idea why it took him this long to notice it was her.

He threw off the cloak. "How dare you attack the great King Momba?"  He said and this time Twix Bar was the only one who gasped man you better not have gasped or you will have ruined the entire story.

"But why would you do this? You're a good Pony! You trained me!" Twix Bar protested. He refused to say a word. He blasted at them with a Tommy Gun but they jumped out of the way and shot back with spiderman webbing.

The battle was long but together Twix Bar and Princess Other remembered they have magic and they shot him and captured him.

"I'm sorry my old friend" Said Twixy Wixy as she dropped him into the prison of Tartarus.

She she was sad but she returned to Cantloot and asked Princess Sun about the whole thing like she should have in the first place. So she did that and asked about the whole thing.

"Twix Bar, you missed much on your journey. 10 years ago a great evil rose from the earth. This evil destroyed much of Cantloot and killed many ponies. It spread it's evil to all corners of Eqestiweswia. One day the great Momba rose to challenge this evil. He had locked away some of the evil power in Tartarus, but the evil itself escaped into the sky. He gained victory but was corrupted by this dark force. He returned to Cantloot and murdered Princess Wayback. In a way they both gave themselves to save us all from the great evil we have come to call...Marcopolypse"

Twix Bar left Cantloot that night. She had lost 2 great friends to this "Marcopolypse". She needed to go away for a while.

Epopepolog

Twix Bar walked for a while and by that I mean she walked for a few thousand years. One day she realised she looped the planet for the 85th time and was back in Cantloot. Well she thought "Hey maybe I should go visit Princess Other so she knows I didn't die" so she went to the ol throne room.

"MAGIC MISSILE" Yelled a horse as it zapped another horse and made it explode into flowers and organs. "Good work you are becoming the most powerful unitard in Equestaria" Said Princess Sun. Twix Bar look angry because haha nope SHE was the most powerful Unikitty in the world. She ran at the pony and had words with her.

"How DARE you think you can outmatch the GREAT AND AMAZING TWIX BAR?!?!?!11?!?!ONE!!" she observed at the pony. "The other pony oops that shouldn't have had a quotation mark oh well but yeah the other pony began to speak and by speak I mean hit her with a purple lantern construct. They did battle for days.............."

After a few minutes of fighting Princess Sun distracted Twix Bar by causing a Solar Flair that roasted a nearby village. "Twix Bar, how dare YOU assault the greatest Unitoony in this room? This is my student TWILIGHT PURPLE, and she has saved the day countless times! You go away young lady and think about what you did!" Twix Bar hung her head and walked away.

Twix Bar was starving to death because she wondered into the Neverever forest and was also temporarily blind. One day she heard a familiar sound.

SNAP

She began to run to the source of the sound.

CRACKLE

She was in a full sprint.

POP

She dived into the cave to find it! It was the cave of the Rice Krispy Fountain.

She was home.

Twix Bar lived in this amazing cave for over a year when she heard the sound of clipityclops.  a small pony stood before her.

"What business do you have with The Great Twix Bar?"  She asked

"I have come with a letter from Twilight Purple" Said Swooty Bell.

The End