The Element of Sandwich

by StormyStrife

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Adventure
Length: 830

From the demented mind which created Molestception, comes a new adventure of... i-don't-know-what

From the silly bugger who made Molestception, comes The Element of Sandwich, his attempt of making a weird and goofy story meshed with some serious parts, and with a thick, gooey cheese of story in the middle.

Note: This is my attempt at comedy… Sorry if i break your soul :(
Note 2: Remember This… I seriously have no clue what i'm writing in this story anymore.
Warning: Randomness Ahoy Mateys!

Also let me know if you'd like me to continue it, i somehow feel like i suck at comedy xD

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-22 21:23:23 UTC

Precious Cheese - Prologue

Precious Cheese

It was a very sunny day, the birds were out chirping and the animals were out frolicking, and everypony laughed, smiled and enjoyed the bright morning sun.

Very little could ruin a day like this, nothing could actually.

But as afternoon dawned on Equestria, a great ball of fire came from the sky and impacted the center of Canterlot with tremendous force, the entire region shook violently, it was a miracle nothing fell or broke, save for a single glass in every room of every building.

Those that were in the city center were simply pushed with a violent shockwave, very few injuries were had.

But what laid there was the more peculiar thing.

A gigantic sandwich, easily comparable in size to the buildings near it; an orange ooze came slowly from the sandwich, it glowed with an eerie light that did terrificly in warding the surrounding ponies off.

Eventually the Princess Sisters, Princesses Luna and Celestia came to the scene, a few royal guard pegasi and unicorns followed suit and kept an eye out as the sisters studied the sandwich.

Luna spoke with a cautious tone as Celestia approached it calmly "Sister, be careful, that's no ordinary meteor-sandwich... thing" She observed the massive object and the orange substance, everypony knew it was a sandwich, but nopony had seen it's kind before, Ever.

Celestia studied it and came to the conclusion it was of no purpose "Dis thing is not dangerous everypony, leave me and it be as i will now eat it!" And Celestia dove at the sandwich with grace, intent upon eating it, but upon touching it, the sandwich started to shake violently. A blinding light flashed as it seemed to transform, Celestia was blown back by the light into her sister who, under Celestia's slightly larger body, was bowled over and they both fell down onto the stone ground. Eventually after what seemed like an hour, the light faded and in the middle was a very large red earth pony with the same sandwich as his cutiemark, no mane but a slightly stubby black tail and hints of a shaved beard, stood in the epicentre of the source of the light.

He opened his mouth, and everypony leaned in to listen to the visitor's words "Doctor!"

A few moments passed by and he looked around with an expression that'd make derpy proud.

"Where is Medic?!" but his search would have to wait as Princess Celestia approached him with a warming smile "Hello my little pony... what is your name?"

"I am Heavy Weapons Guy... Uh." He looked around and reality struck him, he was a tiny horse! and there was other horses around him, he said quietly, in slight annoyance or anger, it sounded like a mix "That Medic was Spy!" and he looked around "Sandvich"

Princess Celestia chuckles warmly "Well It's nice to meet you Heavy, I almost ate a giant sandwich" And Celestia smiled brightly "Come Heavy, Come and we shall eat all the Sandwiches and all the world!"

Heavy raised an eyebrow and she added "Okay just the sandwiches" and he jumped into the air "Yes!"

Before they both left, with the others to wonder what happenned, save for Luna who was still on the ground, dazed and giggling, Celestia licked a bit of the leftover cheese on the ground "Mmm... I love you my precious Cheese..."

Later that day, Princess Celestia once again summoned The Elements of Harmony, The Mane 6 or otherwise known as Twilight, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow and Pinkie Pie with a letter received by none other than Spike, or as Celestia called him "That One Guy" which sounded more urgent than the last, saying if they didn't come the apocalypse would begin, so obviously they were all there quickly and slightly panicked.

"What's wrong Princess Celestia?!" Twilight sounded more worried than the rest.

"I need you to watch over somepony, dis guy here next to my face." Princess Celestia poked Heavy who chowed down on a sandwich next to her "I love this place, Yes!" Heavy shouted with a full mouth.

Twilight laughed and seemed light-headed, eventually collapsing on the floor.

The others breathed a sigh of relief and AJ asked "Uhm... Beg pardon Princess, but... why'd you make the letter sound so urgent?"

"Now i will leave you to dis awesome pony here, his name is Heavy, and he kinda looks exactly like that but make sure he gets a sandwich everyday, cause it's all he likes to eat." and Celestia left them with the sandwich-obsessed pony.

She poked a guard in the ear and asked "How's bein a guard?" The light pink unicorn in golden armor blinked "uhhh... It's... okay? Not much for this one to complain about, other than the fact that i gotta stay here, completely still for hours sometimes"

Princess Celestia nodded "mmkay." and trotted off.

She quietly laughed, knowing full well what was about to happen.