Dämonen und rote Magie
Living with Luna OVA
by Michael Weber
chapter1
Dämone und rote Magie
It wasn't a bad day for me, actually. I played my Video games, fooled around with random Stallion's and drank beer.
It was a good life for a princess. The Princess of the Night. And now I'm on a diffrent Planet due to my incompetence of spelling spells and creating Portals to the DC-Multiverse.
Yeah, no more Sister's, no more Harmony and no more fucking responsibility of the night. I landed in a city called Ravensburg, I guess. It is what the sign is telling me or better to say showing.
I guess it's now sometime at 6:00 a.m.. The perfect time to find a new Roommate and shiting him. I allready choosed my House.
It was one of those random, boring rowhouses but the People who live in there are cool. Most of them. I mean... no matter where you'd live in Germany, one of your Neighbors are always a jerk. aaaallways. I reached the door and began ringing, many times. Too many to count for myself. After i asumed to breaking the nerves of the Living creature in there, someone opened the door and after he saw me, he closed his eyes. Ten seconds later he opened them again and starred at me.
"What?" I asked.
"Äh?" he asked back. I snapped him out of his dirty daydreams.
"Let me in, punk!" I told him and walked past the human guy.
"Luna? DAFUQ you do in our world?" he asked shocked.
So the show exist in this universe too...
"Why not?" I asked back.
"Why not? That's impossible. You are supposed to be in the TV" he said, turning around and walked in front of me.
But I jumped right in time on the couch. "Don't worry, the show is on the Hiatus, right now. I can simply sleep on this couch." I responded.
His eyelid began to twitch. He walked though the not that big house and cursed something, maybe me. When he came back, he wore a blue jeans and white shirt because before that he wore a pyjama . His hair was black.
"Fuck, why should I let a unicorn live with me?"
"Alicorn"
"Hä?"
"It's Alicorn... not unicorn. Do you see those wings?"
I pointed to my back with my hoof. He saw my wings and gritted his teeth.
"Whatever" he said and tried to sit on the couch.
But except of asking me if I could move, he instead sat on the Floor, which was lightbrown. "Which day is today?" I asked.
"Sunday... why are you even here?" he hissed back.
I rolled my eyes and facehoofed. "It's a secret mission thing. I'm just living here now, deal with it. Roommate."
"NO, because 1) I haven't much money to buy food for us and 2) I'm not a hardcore brony who's dream is to live with a pony, go and move at one of those in"
I shrugged and respond "Nope, hardcorebrony's are all cloppers. I hate 'em"
"Who doesn't?" He asked and I said, "They doesn't"
"Who?" he asked perplexed.
I sighed, "Just be quiet and change in real clothes. The ones you wear are all pyjama-like"
He stood up and walked in the kitchen after cursing the creator.
My roommate come back in the room and turned on the TV. On the screen started an episode of Familie im Brennpunkt,
"So that's why I'm feeling so sleepy all the time..." he said and let me facehoof.
"Yeah!!! It is, GOSH you're so dumb." I said.
" HEY, You bitch woke me up at fricking SIX a.m. That's Bullshit. AND who says that I let you stay here? I can just call the police."
"And say: 'hey, guys I need help with a alicorn'"
"No I say: 'There's an crazy bitch in my flat who doesn't want to leave'"
I laughed hard. "You're funny. Let me stay or I hunt you down and eat your corpses."
"What?" he asked.
"You heard right. I did that already with all your neighbors and I'm starting getting fat. So let me stay here or choose plan B, which choosed your neighbor on the right side, but his head exploded."
He was thinking and I smiled devilishly.
"Plan B" he said, not careing much about his dead neighbors.
He choosed death.
I closed my eyes and prepared my secret weapon. I snapped them open and he fall on his knees still breathing. "I surrender I surrender I surrender I surrender I surrender I surrender" he shouted and looked down, "Just stop looking at me with that cute puppy eyes, my worst nightmares starting to be real."
I smiled, laughed and turned towards the TV where the woman said stupidly: och nö.
My new roommate sat again, normal breathing. "I... hate you" he confessed.
"Yeah Yeah..." I waved his arguments away, knowing that he didn't meant that like that like he say, I mean how you can hate a imaginary princess?
After a few moments of silence, he started coughing and spat blood. I like that guy.
But he closed his mouth with his hand and stared at the blood. "What is that?" he muffled.
"Jeez just blood dude, nothing to worry about, maybe you cough your tasty organs?" He couldn't decide to what he need to look more in horror. To the blood, because it's blood and came from nowhere... or to me because I'm insane. He decided to look to me and something started bother me. "What's your name, anyways?" I asked.
He blinked and opened his mouth to respond: "My name is -" But then he coughed more blood and stared in a shocked expression.
What's wrong with him? "Ey I asked you a question, It's rude to ignore a prince~ss" at the ~ part I clicked with my tongue.
He shook his head and breath in and began telling: "My name is-" PLourghh, More blood, yay. And then he tried again. Cough, more blood, breath repeat and coughing more blood. After twenty failed steps, I decided to yell: "STOP TRYING to SAY YOUR NAME. The author doesn't want to let you say your fucking name... I'm calling you..." and then I closed my eyes "-Nikolas"
"Why?" he tried to say and I said, "cuz' Nikolas is my favourite bad twin"
He tried to understand and think of a name like that but failed. "From where?" he asked.
I groaned. "It was a book, Apocalypsis." I smiled at the memory. "It was the best Vatican-Thriller I ever read. And I read many" Nikolas didn't respond. An Idea popped in my head and I jumped off the couch. "What if you simply show me your ID" He blinked a few times and then nodded eagerly.
He vanished in, I assume, his bedroom. After a minute full of sounds of searching and a falling closet... hope he at least broke himself a hand. Why I love pain so much? Maybe Nightmare Moon is not fully away. But I pushed those thoughts aside when Nikolas walked back in the room and..... no broken hand. Awwww.
Nikolas handed me his ID over and I saw that the spot with 'Name/name' was blank. "Ähhh you haven't a name and I hoofed the thing him back. He looked at it himself and began coughing more blood. That's enough. "Hold it! I call 112" I grabed the phone on his desk and called the guys of medicine.
Later~~
After the Emergency shit arrived they took Nikolas with them and me too. I waited now outside of a room where I waited for my Roommate who was tested by a, hopefully, insane Doctor.
I was bored and the funny looks of the other waiting people didn't help. The Hospital was boring and the doors locked.
That's why I couldn't make any anarchy in this world. Y'know magic+dead bodies= communistic zombie-army, somehow. This logic is very good.
I noticed a bunch of magazines at my right and reached them. The first was the 600th c't, the second was the Gamestar and the third magazine a normal DNN( Dresdens Neueste Narchichten)
Since when we're in Sachsen? I asked myself and noticed the headline
Portal to Equestria opened in Coswig, yay? Or not yay?
Hey! That was my portal. I hope my sister didn't took the oppertunity to comunicate with the fucker's here. I breath in relief as I saw my roommate stepping out the doctor's chambers. His Gaze shifted a bit.
"What is it?" I asked.
He shook his head. "They found nothing Luna!" He sat on the empty seat on my left and grabed his forehead with both hands and sinked down.
The poor guy. Maybe... never mind, it's ridiculous that it's here. "want a glass of water?" I asked. He nodded. So I went to a nurse and asked her if she knew where I can get water. After her excitement she told me. Stupid girls dreams. Ponies are rough and for men and not for little girls. Well, I want to believe that. After my 15-minute adventure of water-getting( and some odd looks of people in a hall way who whispered, "look a unicorn". I decided to let the hallway explode cuz' I'm proud of being an alicorn and noone say otherwise) I found my friend still in the same position as he was back then but he giggled a bit.
"What's so funny?" I asked of curiosity, hooveing him his glass of water.
He drank his water and faced me. "Well, today is my free day and I thought I wouldn't see my workplace but here I am.". I looked around and asked,"You're a doctor?".
He sighed: "No, I'm a nurse." Oh hahahahahahaha why am I laughing? Nurses makeing a good job being nurseses. But then he coughed more blood. A woman nurse came and asked:
"What's wrong with you, J-" but then her head exploded into million of pieces. Then the screams started. Nikolas watched in horror on the nurse.
"She was my friend here... She was my... my..." he grabbed his head once more and screamed in pain "whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy?" he screamed without a break. That's it. He have a tasty demon..
I jumped on his lap to face him and slaped him in the Face. "CALM DOWN, BITCH. YOU HAVE A NAME-DEMON" I slaped him once more and prepared the exorcism. Well, I was thaught by the best exorcist of the multiverse. And there are only two options how to drill.
The easier option I was preparing, the second one is stolen from Apocalypsis. My Vision went wider and I saw more around me with a light cyan shade, A pink circle opened on Nikolas' chest which had random symbols on it.
And then I slammed my hoof inside of it.
My Hoof vanished as it reached the symbols and I started to move it around. Nikolas couldn't respond, he was in a kind of Trance. You may ask yourself what am I doing there... well I opened a portal in his soul and searching for the name-demon. But this helps only if the demon was born inside his soul but it seems that he have a demon who affected him though an open door. There is an option left. This kind of exorcism was the not-fastest but the one with more succes. I pulled my hoof out. The staff already left the hospital. No one who saw me. That's great.
Nikolas was still deadlike. The portal shocked him. He wouldn't notice it. I hope it's worth. The only risk of the second option is to be effected by the demon too, but I know how to respond. But enough of time wasteing. I breathed out and watched Nikolas sit there. "If you don't let me stay with you I try the eyes on you again" I whispered.
I moved forward until only a few inches were between us. Then I kissed him.
I breathed out and in. I breathed his breath in, he mine.
We musn't breath the oxygen around us. It was a magical moment. I breathed out again. Then I sensed an odd taste, don't give up.
The taste reached my tongue and I breathed in to gulp it. The taste didn't move.
I have no other choice as to catch it with my tongue. I grabbed it while pushing my tongue inside Nikolas' and breathed out.
I breathed in and moved my tongue around. The taste grew. I let my tongue dance inside his mouth and licked his saliva out then the demon, the demon seems to be dominant enough to wrestle with my tongue, i don't let him win.
I licked harder and pushed myself inside his mouth. I was deep enough to bite Nikolas' teeth but I grabbed the demon and continued breathing in and out. After some breathing the taste went down my throat and I disconnected myself from Nikolas.
A line of Saliva between our mouthes. I asked myself if when he was that good without tongue what would happen if he kissed back. The taste in my throat vanished in my stomach and turn in a terrible pain. But I activated my blocks and hunt the demon down. The demon was dead.
An hour later...
Nikolas started to wake up due to the color in his eyes.
"Hey. How you feeling?" I asked him.
He seemed to thinking and responded: "Better, actually. But I can't feel pain. My girlfriend... died right in front of me...ARGGH" he grabbed his Forehead and I watched him. This Behavor was normal after drilling. "Uhmm can I still crash at your home?" I asked.
"Eh?" he looked at me and then again on the table. "Sure sure.". I was happy.
"Say... whats your real name, anyway?" I asked.
He looked at me in fear of coughing more blood because he said, "Please call me what you want."
Nikolas then.
"Nikolas?" I asked.
"Hm?"
"Look around you."
He did how he was told and found that we sat in a Dönerladen, the owner watched us with curiosity while he were working.
"How we get here?" Nikolas asked.
I smiled and respond: "Zombie-spell.".
"What?"
"I set a weak fake soul inside your body and let you walk with me. Don't worrx it won't affact you completly, mean if you wake up and stuff. Do you understand?" I smiled with a wide, closed mouth and heard his respond.
"WHAT?"
He sat up and glared at me.
"What else did you with my body?"
I smiled, "This will be a secret between me, the zombie-you and him" I pointed to the owner who raised an eyebrow.
"TELL ME WHAT SHE DID WITH ME, NOW!" Nikolas yelled.
"Sir, please..." the owner said. "I saw nothing, I swear" he raised his arms in defence.
The next five Minutes I watched the two fighting.
2 hours later.
"So this is your testimony?" the policeman asked us out.
"Yeah, it is." I told him and he overviewed our statements on his PC-Screen.
After the whole scenario in the hospital we were told to go to the police station and tell our version too. Because the rest have somehow... told them nothing more than, "Splash, Head exploded, MY CAR!!!!"
I giggled a bit.
"This is not funny, miss" the officer told us. I glanced to Nikolas who watched our conversation with disbelief and if the reader didn't get it why... he is a Dumbass and should like and leave. But anyways... He glanced between us because he can't believe that the Officer didn't flip out like he, when he saw me first. That is because police mans are tough and sexy. And nurses are lame. I giggled again.
"MISS!" the officer shouted.
"WHY'RE YOU YELLING AT ME?" I yelled
he yelled back, "BECAUSE YOU YELL."
Nikolas stood up and grabbed me by my Horn. "Auauauau, why you doing this? PUNK!" I shouted at Nikolas but he turned to the officer and asked, "Are we finished?" The Officer nodded and he left with me in tow.
"LET... go... or..." I tried.
"or WHAT?" he shouted but it was to late for me.
A little Information for you, the Horn of a Unicorn is really like a penis!
"Ahhhhhhhhhh" I panted and watched how the Electricity shocked Nikolas. Wow, I didn't know that he wanted it that fast...
When my horn-cum stopped cumming. He fell to the ground. No Doubt, he is dead. The people watched me as I stopped panting and watched over the dead Body. Just a Corpse, i can regenerate him later. That's why I turned into a sideway off the street to go to the next McDonalds.
To be honest I stole Nikolas' money and THEN left his Body for Sir Rottenment. (My name for the god of rotten flesh).
As I entered McDonalds, every look went in my direction.
"What you're starring, punkletons?" I shouted and none stared at me again.
God I hate MCDonalds.
I gritted my teeth as I reached the counter.
"What may you want?"
"Pft, A Big Mac and nr. 34,43,4, with extra cheese and meat and FAST!" The last word I shouted with the royal Canterlot voice and blasted the Head of the poor MCDonalds employee away. The customers didn't dare to speak with me. And so I waited for my Order.
3:00p.m.
After the funreal of Nikolas. I began to spell the Zombie-spell on him. He opened his eyes and looked around.
"Where am I?" he asked then.
"You missed your own funreal" I told him.
Nikolas stared at me with his new sexy eyecolor. Yellow.
"What?"
"Didn't you heard me... I said YOU MISSED YOUR OWN FUNREAL" I shouted.
His Head blasted off his shoulders but he was still alive. His body then grabbed his neck and moved towards where his head should be. His head screamed.
"DAFUQ? WHERE AM I, LUNA HELP"
I laughed in my hoof and grabbed the head with my teeth like a earth pony to place it on the body. The injurie vanished then.
"What you did to me?" he asked.
I breathed in and out. "I murdered you, went to McDonalds, terrorize the people there then came back, by the way no one was at the funreal, not even the preacher. Then I spelled the Zombie-spell on you and here you are:)"
At the ':)' I did my best to make a smile not completely insane.
He looked at me like I were on drugs, placed his hand on the top of his head and waited until a little sense came in his mind. Leider passierte das nicht.
I broke the pleasent silence. "So let's move to your place. By the way... you're eyes now have a more sexy-tone."
He stared at me, then shrugged and whispered: "Fuck the System, I'm out of logic".
8:00 p.m.
"Before I'm going, what was that look in the hospital back?" Nikolas asked me.
I shrugged and played again CoD on his PS3.
"It's a art of drilling demons and healing and a new kind of combat magic. Called red Magic."
I faced him and turned my eyes again in the RM- mode.
He backed away.
"'Kaykykaykayk, just don't break a thing."
"Sure." I said and watched him leaving for his stupid night-shift. The staff have tonight much to clean up.
I'm sorry for his girlfriend but I haven't the motivation to cry.
I need to tell Nikolas soon that he is now my servent due to his new immotality of Zombienment.
Bitchhhh, that fucker is really a pro. someone said in the CoD-Chat.
I chuckled and responded.
YEAHH, MOTHERFUCKER'S Eat Dirt I troll you down and slaughter you. I screamed
Why I can't put her mute? Someone other asked.
CUZ I cheat, yo noobs.
Cheaterwitch how it is even possible to cheat on a PS3?
Mag~~ic, homo
To be continue