Garry's Mod Vs. Equestria 2: War in the North

I looked at the mare Sergeant, my eyes narrowed dangerously. "What the hell does that mean?" I asked in growling whisper. My head was beginning to hurt, and I was one annoying word away from turning this mare inside out. "My house is in a different dimension. My dog is in a different dimension. How are we in a different dimension from Canterlot?!"

The mare recoiled from my screaming. "I'd heard you had a bad temper, but this is ridiculous..." she muttered, just loud enough for me to hear.

That did it. "I don't have a bad temper damn you!" I screamed at her. "I'm perfectly fucking calm, you horse-faced, cunt eating, whorish bitch!"

That did it. Her eyes darkened and her coat got significantly less sparkly. "What did you just call me, you foul mouthed little parasite?!" she screamed at me, even louder than I had screamed at her. "I could have left you out there in that blizzard to freeze to death, y'know! But I chose to burden myself with you, just to save your miserable life!"

At this point, the stallion, who I guessed was in change there, stepped in. "That's enough out of both of you!" he yelled, louder than both of us.

Both of us ignored him, favoring to further insult each other.

"Loud mouthed bitch!" I screamed at her.

"Arrogant buffoon!" she screamed back at me.

"Ugly tramp!"

"Stupid monkey!"

"Long-faced slut!"

"Flat-faced idiot!"

"Nagging bitch!"

"Ignorant fool!"

"Rug muncher!"

"Sheath eater!"

"Bitch!"

"Loser!"

"Cunt!"

"Idiot!"

Then, in perfect unison, "You are the most stupid person I've ever met!" we both screamed at each other, loud enough to make the room vibrate.

She chuckled humorlessly. "You can't even use your own insults? How pathetic."

I snorted at her. "I was just about to say the same thing, dike."

She sneered at me. "Case in point," she said mockingly.

And that was when I completely lost it. Without thinking, I curled my hand into a fist and swung at her as hard as I could. I missed. Badly. She was a trained soldier, and easily dodged my swing. I was angry and not paying attention. That building had a lot of windows. Gravity's a bitch.

I swung so hard I wasn't able to stop myself when she wove out of the way, so I stumbled forward, tripped over my own foot, and fell face first out of the window overlooking the large yard inside the castle. "You bitch," I said, my mind reeling from the realization of imminent pain. The ground came up quickly, like everything was moving in fast forward. The there was a loud thud, multiple crunches and snaps, and a loud screaming that resembled one of the most vulgar insults known to mankind.

I was sitting on a recliner in a small white room, devoid of anything other than myself, the recliner, a lamp, and the book I was holding. The recliner was comfortable, and the atmosphere of the room was relaxing. I felt... at ease. Something I haven't felt in a long time.

I opened the book and began to read. It was in some kind of cryptic language, but I could still understand it. The first few pages were incredibly interesting, having to do with some long-lost civilization, and a royal family. In particular, the princess of that family.

There was a knock at the door.

I opened my eyes and saw everything in red. Pain was my existence. I could feel blood seeping from places that I didn't even know I had. I faintly heard frenzied voices around me. Panic. Pain. The thudding in my ears. The screaming in my head.

I sat up and the pain increased tenfold. More crunches in my body, and what felt like an organ rupturing. I looked around and saw countless ponies surrounding me, among which was the Sergeant and the stallion from the office. Pain was replaced by anger. Anger was replaced by hatred. I stood, hearing more crunches and tears from my body, as well as multiple gasps and protests from the crowd of ponies. I spawned a health pack in my hand, receiving more gasps from the crowd. I injected it into my neck and a lance of pain went through me, though almost instantaneously, the pain faded away, the bones knitted back together, the skin was sewn, and the blood was absorbed. The sounds it made were... unpleasant, to listen to. The crunching and snapping and ripping and squelching and squishing... I saw multiple ponies vomit.

As the last injury healed itself, I pointed at the Sergeant, a malicious scowl on my face. "I don't like you."

The stallion nodded slowly, an awed and somewhat sick look on his face. "Yep, you're him alright."

I held my hand out and spawned myself a large, deadly looking broadsword. The blade itself was bigger than any of the ponies present, but it felt weightless in my hands as I advanced on the Sergeant. "I'm going to kill every single one of you little shit stains, starting with you!" However that didn't happen. A sudden spike of pain went through my skull, forcing a scream from me and bringing me to my knees. Blood began to pour from my nose, and I could feel bile rising from my stomach. With a loud belch, I emptied my stomach all over the ground in front of me. As I looked at the pool of blood and bile beneath me, I could see what I thought was my lunch from two days ago, as well as a few tiny black specks of something that looked strange, and I couldn't place what exactly they were. Possibly food dye, or some kind of chemical.

I looked up at the Sergeant. "I'll kill you as soon as the world stops spinning." Then I threw up some more.

The regal stallion from the office approached me, but not too closely. "Until then, would you like some coffee to wash the taste out?" he offered.

I nodded. Then I threw up some more.

Four hours, more vomiting, lots of coffee and a long, long conversation later, I was sitting in the mess hall with a tankard of ale in front of me. I had a long talk with the stallion, who had introduced himself as Shining Armor, Captain of the Crystal Guard and prince of the Crystal Empire, though I simply called him Shining. Between mugs of hot coffee--black, because only pussies put cream in their coffee--Shining, Snow and I held a conference at a secluded table in the corner at the mess hall. The news was... not what I was hoping.

According to them, the entire world was gone. Not destroyed, but simply... gone. Where we were was some kind of pocket dimension outside of their own dimension. In a place where reality wasn't aware that it existed. They've tried to get home, but the scouts they sent out to find a way back never returned. The only explanations were that they were lost to the blizzard, or that they were taken.

Apparently, something was out there. The Sergeant, Snow Shield described it as "a giant black cloud of evil and death". She was, among very few others, the only living witnesses to what befell the Crystal Kingdom. "It was like a tidal wave of black smoke," she said. "Everything it touched was consumed in darkness, and everypony was..." She didn't tell me what happened to the ponies, but I could tell it was bad from the look in her eyes. "The princess was just barely able to create the portal before it swallowed the whole city. The ones you see here are the only ponies that made it."

Traders. Shopkeepers. Accountants. Repair ponies. Janitors. These are the kind of ponies that made it, as nearly every soldier they had was consumed by the black smoke trying to defend the civilians while they escaped. An army of peasants, against a giant malevolent entity that wants to kill or consume them all. They numbered just barely five hundred, and the enemy was seemingly infinite, in both power and the ability to kill. The crystal beasts that I had fought upon first arriving were the creations of the entity. The evil entity, Umbra they called it, was also the reason I wasn't able to get to Celestia to get revenge. That was a problem. A very big problem.

I lifted my tankard up, draining it for the dozenth time since I'd been sitting there. For the last half hour, I'd been thinking of solutions, trying to find out a way to get to Canterlot as quickly as possible. But at the end of every idea, the same thing kept popping up. No matter what course of action I decided on, it always led back to the same thing. "I guess it's just gotta happen then," I said to myself.

A pony made itself known next to me. It was Shining. I hadn't noticed him until then. "What's that?" he asked, taking a drink from a mug.

I raised my refilled tankard to my mouth, drinking the entirety of it. I slammed the wooden thing down on the counter and looked to the Captain. "I need to get to Celestia," I said.

He nodded slowly, his brows knitted together. "You've said that before. But you know you can't get out as long as Umbra's controlling this place?"

I nodded, fully turning to face him. "That's why I'm going to kill it."